You’ve done it. You’ve stood in front of the Target dressing room mirror, bathing suits scattered on the floor, pasty white skin staring back at you. This happens every year and every year you tell yourself things will be different.
And then it happens. You say it.
‘Agg, I look terrible!’
And the insults start coming at you faster than you can mutter them under your Chipotle scented breath.
We say things about our bodies, our lives and our choices that we would never let a stranger say, never mind a friend. Heck, we’d be quick to de-friend a bitch if she tried to talk to us like that!
Thinking a string of put downs will lead to change is just wrong. It never does. We never feel better, never have resolve and never get more motivated by listening to someone (even if it is ourselves) point out all our faults.
I have a teenage daughter and there are times her room can be a mess. We’ve talked about picking it up and keeping things clean, and I’ve shown her how to do this (with small habits): Throw your dirty clothes right in the hamper, instead of the floor. Empty your trash when it gets full instead of letting it overflow.
She gets it.
She understands now and has made huge progress.
Do you think she would have been so willing if I went in her room, berating her and calling her names? That never would have worked, and quite frankly, would be cruel. Don’t you agree?
Because you have to learn certain skills. You aren’t just born knowing. Talking kindly to her has made all the difference.
What about you? How can you treat yourself as kindly as you would your child? or a stranger?
How can you start being gentler? More forgiving? How can you start to focus on your positives, because I promise you, they are there.
Making these big changes has to start small.
Changing everything all at once only leads to failure and more self loathing, so roll up your sleeves and get ready to …. to do just a little. Starting right now we are going to develop little habits that push us consistently toward the change we want.
Nothing that causes a shift in the axis of our entire world that we could never possibly continue. Sustainable change is where it’s at, my friends.
Here’s how you can get started today.
Make two lists. On one list write down all that crap you just said about yourself in the dressing room. Or about how your a terrible mom, or can’t cook or whatever else has been on your mind today.
On the second list, write down what someone would say who adored you about those very same things. Someone like your mom, or your best friend.
See the difference in the two lists?
Say the second list out loud. Soak it in. Believe it.
You ARE the second list.
Here’s where your habit comes in. All week long, every time you utter one word off list number one I want your mind to rush over to list number two and replace it with the sentence describing who you really are.
Now, imagine you are standing in the dressing room. You’ve got your bikini’s in hand, beautiful pale skin just waiting for a kiss of sunshine, glowing under the florescent lighting and you know, without a doubt, that you are lovely, and exquisitely made and capable and enough. Your mind jumps to list number two because it’s become a habit. List number one hardly stands a chance!
You give yourself a knowing smile at your reflection in the mirror because you know what’s up. You are just just perfect as you are and there is nobody that can rock that suit quite like you can, sister!
Want to surround yourself with women who will tell it like it is? Like it really is? Join the Start Small- Live Big community and we’ll fill up your list number two right here!