039: Understanding the law of attraction with Kelli Cooper - Betsy Pake

039: Understanding the law of attraction with Kelli Cooper

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Kelli Cooper is a coach who specializes in the law of attraction and believes there are many misconceptions about the teaching that can leave people a bit frustrated and disillusioned. She hopes to give people a better understanding, as well as bridge the gap between the theory and ‘reality’ of manifesting. For the last six years, she and her husband have been traveling the world, and have called all sorts of exotic locales home from Fiji to Thailand. 

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Today on the show, I have a really fun guest. She is an expert in manifestation and the law of attraction. And we actually dive really deep into money. So if you want to learn how to get you some more money and to manifest some greatness in that area you’re gonna want to listen in. I hope you enjoyed this interview. Welcome to the art of living big. My name is Betsy Pake entrepreneur, author and personal success coach. This is the show that brings you stories and small ideas to help you live a big life. I hope this once a week podcast will inspire you, motivate you and encourage you to think differently about what could be possible for your life. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. I am here today with my friend Kelly Cooper. Hey, Kelly,

I have everyone doing. So tell us a little bit about yourself. Um, well, my name is Kelly Cooper, as Betsy has already said, and I am a coach who focuses on the law of attraction, in particular kind of the whole inner world creates the outer world kind of idea. And you know, what I really like to focus on though is, you know, kind of the bridging the gap between the theory and reality of manifesting, because on the surface, it’s a very simple teaching. But what doesn’t get really factored in a lot of the times is kind of like what I like to call the human factor of our fears, our resistance, our skepticism, our limiting beliefs, and all of that. So what happens is people I think, often try to go apply the teaching, and they’re running into all these barriers because of this resistance, and it seems harder than it is or they think, Oh, this, maybe it actually doesn’t work. And then that always feels badly for people because it feels badly to think like you let yourself hope that you could have certain things, then you seem like you’re quote unquote, failing at manifesting them. You know, to me, I think a lot of people that feels worse to them than when they thought maybe before they didn’t stand a chance at getting it at all, and they just kind of resigned themselves to it. So I really like to try to help people work through kind of what’s going on in their energy right now. That is maybe not allowing them to receive, you know, the reality that’s maybe more desirable for them.

So tell people, what is the law of attraction, if they’re not familiar with it? And I’ve talked about it a little bit on the show before, but how would you describe that?

You know, I would describe it as, you know, this idea that, you know, we have something our energy, our vibration in this kind of, I guess, invisible part of us that, you know, it comprises our thoughts, our feelings, our beliefs, and whatever is dominant, because all of us have a whole mix of stuff going on in there, you know, whatever is dominant in any particular area, whether it’s relationships, money, just general well being whatever, you’re going to attract things to you that mirror that energy back. So for me, the lmia is not so much about trying to manipulate reality to your mind specifications and trying to control your life through the power of your mind. It’s more about doing that kind of inner work on your energy. And then you can want specific things and they’ll probably show up, but it’s more about kind of doing that inner work cultivating the energy. And then once those entered, the different energies become more dominant, the love, the trust, the peace, the whatever else other warm, fuzzy stuff we want, you’ll start manifesting things that mirror that energy back. And then you’re going to like, like what’s showing up more in your life? And it might be specific things you want? Or it might be things you never even thought about before. But no matter what you’re going to be like, Oh, I like this because it feels good.

Yeah, you know, I talk about it a lot. Like, you know, when we’re in the car, and we want to listen to a country station, we don’t tune into a rock and roll station, right? We tune into a country station. And so part of that process is like learning how to tune in to the right energy. Isn’t that right? a waffle?

Exactly. Yeah. And the radio, that’s a perfect example. Right? So I think for a lot of us, it’s kind of at least my suggestion is you’re gonna Your mind is going to want specific things like there are certain energies you crave in your life and your mind is going to translate that energy into something right? You want love your minds, like I want a boyfriend, you want to feel like security or freedom your minds like I want money, right? It’s like I’ll translate it into a specific thing, which, again, it’s fine for this specific thing. But what I would suggest to people is everything you want, there’s an essence to it. And that’s the thing you really want is that essence that feeling. So I think like for people think about how do you want to feel in your life, the things that your your your mind is wanting those specific things. What do they represent to you? Why do you think that thing will make you feel happy? And then I think what happens is people can again, you can still want your specific things, it’s fine. But I think people will start to get a better sense of what they’re truly after, and what they truly want to create in their lives. And then they could start cultivating that. energy in some way now. And then they start to realize, Oh, I get to feel better now I start to I can get what I want right now, even if the specific things my mind wants, maybe they’re not here yet. And maybe I have to do a little work kind of allowing them in and aligning with that a little, you know, getting into that frequency more consistently. But what I actually want is something much deeper than that. So I can try to cultivate that now. And stuff will start showing up to mirror that energy back to me, and you’ll start getting what you truly want, much more quickly than if we try to, like use the law as like a tool to like force specific things into our reality that find a lot of people try that tactic. Yeah, and it’s not working very well. And they feel very frustrated. All this is, you know, it’s not true. It’s a you know, it’s, it’s, you know, whatever, you know, and they feel like it’s a big lie or something, then they get like super frustrated. And then they kind of miss out on there, you know, before they can even really scratch the surface of their manifesting capability. They’re kind of like giving up already. Because it’s not working out the way their mind wants it to. Yeah,

and I think it’s because we are like raised to see the world in a certain way. And this is such a shift that we we keep doing it the old way, or thinking about it in the old way. Even though, you know, we may have we may learn something about the law of attraction. So we start trying to do stuff, but it gets frustrating for people because they’re like, kind of combining these two worlds, right? Don’t you think that’s Oh, my God.

Yeah. I love what you said, because that’s so true, Betsy, because one of the big things I always tell people that that causes some of this frustration is right, our old paradigm, right is you make things happen through action. And the law is not about you know, you get to withdraw from your own life, and you never have to do anything, you’re going to take actions and do stuff. But it’s a different way of your relationship with action changes a lot, once you get these kind of spiritual principles down pat more. But yeah, so like you were saying, right, so it’s like, we’re very used to action equals result, if I do enough, then something will have to change. So then we carry that paradigm over into our quote, unquote, energy work. And I think one of the biggest things that trips people up is they start viewing the law of attraction as a tool. And it becomes synonymous with visualizing, affirming, making gratitude list and all these different tools and techniques. And those things have their place there. They’re helpful for sure. But then people fall into the trap of thinking, Well, I’m doing all these things and nothing’s changing. And it’s like,

Yeah, because

in and of themselves, those tools and techniques and exercises, and whatever you’re doing, again, helpful, independent of your energy, they can’t do anything for you. So it doesn’t matter how much you’re affirming, if you actually don’t believe what you’re saying, if you’re a jazz, if your general state of mind, your general belief, if you if none of that’s really shifting, yeah, you could say affirmations till your lips fall off. You can stare at your vision board till your eyes cross, it’s not going to make a difference. So yeah, I love what you said about that, because we carry over that action oriented paradigm into this work. And they’re like, well, I’m doing this, I’m doing that. I’m like, Yeah, but manifesting doesn’t happen on the level of doing it happens on the level of being, and what are you seeing, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing? Yeah, like, what’s, what’s the energy like? And I think that’s a piece of the puzzle that people can be missing. Because like I said, I think the ELA way, it’s often presented as like a tool that maybe you weren’t using before, but you can use it now. And it’s not, that’s not really what it is, I think.

Yeah. And you know, what I think too, is people get an idea of like, okay, I want this and I and I actually am guilty of this. We all are, I suppose. But

one of the things I need to write right,

I talk about a lot about how I want to move to the beach. So and if you are a regular listener to this show, you’re sick of hearing me talk with every single interview about how I want to move to the beach, but I’ll use it as an example since I always do. But I live outside Atlanta, right. So I’m hours and hours from the beach, I have a high school daughter. So like, I can’t just pack up, you know, I am a responsible adult. So I decided that the meantime doesn’t have to be a long time if you make it fun. And so I started trying to find ways to feel like I was at the beach, and I found a really good Juice Bar nearby that makes me feel like I’m at the beach. And so when I try to add those things in, it doesn’t seem like waiting that long anymore. It still feels long, it doesn’t feel as long as it used to, you know, I know it’s coming. I know the beat is coming.

Wow. Exactly. And that’s a perfect example of like, and that’s the thing, we all have our preferences, where our personalities were drawn towards certain things. We have different passions, different interests. So it’s it’s you know, you can pursue those specific things. That’s what makes us all unique. But yeah, like you’re seeing right like so it’s okay that you want to go live at the beach. That’s like your preference for your environment, right? But then you realize to that’s actually not what I truly actually want. It’s a representation of something. I still get Want it, I still get to take steps towards making it happen at some point when it’s more feasible, you know, to to go do go live there. But yeah, there’s things now that feel like I’m doing that, because that’s what I want. There’s that it’s that kind of where so I’m sure there’s that everything we want. There’s an essence there. And that’s the real thing we want.

I really like that a lot, in essence.

Yeah. And it’s, and it’s so helpful, because and like you said, are all of us that have a mind unless you die your mind You can’t escape it. Like your mind’s always going to do what it does, it processes things in a certain way, you’re not really going to be able to change that I think a big part of it’s making peace with that part of your mind that’s going to get attached be like, no, it’s this thing. And I want this and I can’t be happy without you know, your mind is going to do all of that. But it’s like, if you can keep that in mind, you could start to tap into the like I was saying before, you could tap into that essence now. And you’ll start manifesting more things that feel like what you’re doing now. And like you started to see you could still enjoy your life now, even if there are certain things that you do want to happen. And maybe you can’t do it right now. Or maybe Now’s not the time. But you like you said, you know that it will come. And in the meantime, you’re going to do what you can to enjoy it now. Because it’s a very freeing thing to know that there’s nothing we need to happen to be happy to me that’s

Oh, I like that. There’s nothing that has to happen to be happy. Hmm.

Wow. Yeah. And it’s, it’s a, it’s a freeing thing, and especially people that are interested in teaching, like the law of attraction, because what happens is, when you kind of people get their hands on that teaching, there’s a tendency to become very focused on the things you want to attract. There’s a tendency to get very attached to them. We’re usually trying to manifest from a space of feeling lack or not good enough, or we need to prove something to ourselves. And if we get this manifestation it means that this bad thing I think about myself isn’t true. Right. So our energy could be a bit screwy, right? So yeah, it’s very easy to get very focused on what you don’t have feel badly without it. try really hard to try to attract it. And and this all this energy is creating a great deal of resistance. And it’s really makes it harder to enjoy your life now. And it really makes it harder to really let that sort of perspective sink in. That’s like, Oh, this, the lack of this thing isn’t really why I’m not happy. Which means that getting it really isn’t the key either, I can manifest it for fun and to because it’d be a cool experience to have. But I’m not trying to manifest this from a space of I need it to be happy. Because anytime you feel that way, it’s going to be really hard to feel better when you don’t have it. Because your mind is like no, that’s the answer. You need that or else you can’t feel better.

So it’s like and we do that a lot. Like once I once I lose weight once I get that another job once I write like we have those things in our head, even if we don’t verbalize them.

Exactly. And you know what it is? I think what happens is right, because our mind is so focused on like our minds always looking to something outside of us for the answer. So exactly what you said. Right? So it’s like, because our mind it’s a very logical conclusion. I feel upset because I’m overweight because I don’t have enough money because I’m single because this that whatever it is that we’re kind of not happy with right now, which is okay to not like what you like in your reality. Now it’s okay to want something different. But yeah, so it’s like to your mind, it’s like, well, if I feel unhappy without this naturally, I’ll feel happy if I get it. So our mind is like, this makes perfect sense. Of course, that’s the answer, right? But then it’s like, oh, well, not really. But it could take a while to kind of really accept it. I think on intellectually, we might accept it. But like on that kind of deeper level of acceptance, I think that’s a process that unfolds over time.

And so really, like if somebody’s listening, and this is a totally new concept to them, it’s it’s really a way of shifting from, like constantly wanting, would you say and finding, identifying the feeling that thing will bring you and trying to bring that feeling into your life right now?

Yeah, I would say that’s a great place to start. And like I was saying before, especially if you’re new to it, most people are drawn to personal development. I think a teaching like the law in particular, right? Because you feel a lack, you’re maybe not so happy with how things are going now maybe went through a challenging time, or you’re trying to heal something, right. So we’re drawn to the work because maybe we’re not in a great space right now. And there are certain changes we would like to see in our lives. So yeah, you’re probably going to go into this work because you there’s something specific that’s missing and you think okay, I can quote unquote, use the law of attraction to to attract it into my life, right? So make peace with your attachments, make peace with the fact that your mind is insisting I need this or this to be happy. But just keep in mind kind of like what you said. Think about what you actually want. What’s the essence of all of those things? That’s what you want. And that could come to you in countless ways. It doesn’t mean giving up on the specific manifestation you like. What I always like to say to people is You know, wanting is not part of the equation, there’s no reason not to have all of those things happen. So to me sitting there actively wanting it doesn’t seem necessary. And it’s usually kind of painful because you’re wanting and you don’t have and it feels like oh my god, I don’t have it. And what if I never have you know that your mind goes off on that whole tangent? So yeah, it’s like, focus on that. And, you know, be open to how the process unfolds, you know, because I think what happens too, is we have a lot of expectations with this sort of work, okay, I’ll do my affirmations, I’ll get the thing I want. And our mind, things will happen this way. Or that way it formulates all these plot plotting and planning and all this stuff to try to help move it along. And it’s like, do your part energetically inspired action come short, take the action. If it feels good, it feels right. But by and large, remember, the the main thing required of you is kind of that energetic alignment. And it’s like, yeah, if you could cultivate those feelings now in some way, and do things that, you know, for example, someone might feel like, they want money because they want to, you know, contribute more to charity or help other people more, right. So there’s an essence there of like wanting to be of service. So you think to yourself, okay, maybe right now, I’m not in a position to write 10 grand to my favorite charity. I’m not there yet. But what I actually want is that to feel of service to help people, you could do that right now, it doesn’t matter how much money you have, you can volunteer your time somewhere or whatever, right? So then people start realizing when they start zeroing in on the essence, they start seeing what they could do right now. And that’s empowering. I think for people. It’s like, okay, I don’t have to wait around for this thing to happen. That feels a lot better. Well, I can kind of start doing this now.

Yeah, let’s talk about money. Because I think that’s a big one for people.

Oh, absolutely. And so like,

what if someone’s listening, and they want to manifest them some cash, right? So, but it’s not, they’re thinking like, Oh, we wouldn’t be great if I could give to charity, but really, I just need to be able to pay my bills. Like, how do you? How do you like, because I think when we have that sense of want, like, want means we don’t have it. So the more we go, I want money, I want money, I want money. We’re saying like, I don’t have money, I don’t have money, I don’t have money. It gets very overwhelming. I think when I speak with people, because no matter what it is, they’re trying to manifest, they’re constantly putting out the wrong, like they’re tuning into the wrong radio station. So what’s the route? Well, there folk that?

Well, I would say with money, there’s a couple of things I would say the first thing I would say is, and this is pretty much for any manifestation, but it’s especially important with money, because money is something where I feel like it touches so much of our life. And we have so much energy around it, where it’s particularly challenging to apply these teachings. Yeah, but especially with money, what’s happening is, the first thing I would say is, there has to be that willingness to look beyond your current circumstance, because what happens is our mind, we collectively as humans, I think we kind of created this kind of belief system, these belief systems that are very infused with like fear. And it’s kind of like, we created this giant illusion, that seems very real, because we’re, we’re manifesting stuff that mirrors it back to us, you know, on big and large scales are all of us everywhere, but it’s actually not true. So scarcity is not real, it seems real, it seems real. When you look at people that are living in poverty, it seems real when your your bills are piling up, and you don’t have the money to pay them. And you literally don’t have that money. It’s like this is very real. Yeah, but it’s not real. scarcity is an illusion. So if you’re willing to look beyond your current financial situation, to what’s actually true, that you’re you have a vibe of abundance already in you, it’s just kind of covered up by some other stuff that we pile on over time, right? our fears, and all the stuff we pick up from our religion, family, school, all these other external kind of source sources. So we’re going to look beyond that. Because I know especially if you’re struggling, it’s not because right, there’s a difference between someone that’s like, why do we just like more money, and someone that like, is actually struggling and feels like they literally don’t have enough. So it’s really important because your mind is going to want to be like, well know what, you don’t have enough money, and look what’s happening and your bills and this and that. So that’s the first thing I would say is you have to be willing to look beyond that to the true nature of reality, which is nothing but abundance and money and everything else. So there’s no shortage of any of those things, even if it seems that way. And the second thing I would say is, you know, technically, we don’t really have to pick apart our limiting beliefs specifically so much because I feel like there’s a lot of core issues, that if we, if we kind of focus on them, all these other offshoots kind of fall apart automatically. But I think with money, sometimes we do have to dig a bit more deeply, because it’s so like, I feel like there’s so many different things that are like intertwined and this kind of whole web of stuff that forms and it affects our finances. So what I would say is, for people struggling with money, you don’t really have a money problem. Our problems like in each area of our life are kind of like a reflection of I think, broader, more general energies. So it’s like, your problem isn’t with money, you don’t have some huge block around money specifically, and you’re never going to have money. It’s like you’re a broader, more general energy is being reflected in the area of your finances. So I would suggest to people, and it might be uncomfortable, because we don’t like thinking about money. We don’t like thinking about our blocks, because it can feel like icky. And I get that, but you kind of have to do what if you want to kind of move past it. So it’s like when you think of your finances, what’s being mirrored back to you? Like, how do you feel about money? How does your lack of money make you feel about yourself? Because what happens is, especially with money, when we think about our finances, it tends to trigger a very strong energies that are very unpleasant, namely, shame, frustration, anger, right, like very powerful energy. And so it’s like, you kind of have to tap into that and see like, so for example, if you feel like shame, when you think of your finances, what do you feel shameful about? Like, why do you feel shame? So when you start kind of breaking it down, you’ll start getting a better sense of the more like I said, those kind of more general energies, what’s going on? And why why it might be particularly being mirrored back to you in your finances in particular.

Yeah, I think that’s so powerful. And, you know, money is like a currency, right? It’s a current that flows in and out of you, right? You get money in you got to pay it out. Like it’s all. But for me, I’ll tell you, I’ll share a personal experience I get, I’m getting real audience. But my experience with money was that I, you know, I worked in corporate America, and I made a very, very good income, probably better than most of America, excuse me. And when I decided to go out on my own, I struggled, and I couldn’t figure out why, like, why would I struggle, and I would create really amazing programs. And when I would coach people, it was, it was incredible. I mean, they they would cry, and say like that was such a breakthrough, they felt so great. And so I couldn’t figure out what my issue was with this current around money. And I had to stop and go, I have a, I am attaching myself worth to my products. And I have a self worth. And I have a self worth issue. And I had to work on that. Which was really weird, because I never thought of myself as having like a confidence problem. But when it came down to it, like I did, so when I dealt with that all of a sudden, things started to pop like, people started coming out of the woodwork. And now like I mean, I have to field emails and say no to stuff. It was a such a strange thing. When it happened. It just happened all at once. And, and I do think that that’s the case with so many things, right is that it’s not really about the thing, it’s about the thing behind

the thing. It represents a thing, like, you know, like you said, money is self worth issue, right? So someone if they’re struggling with their business? Well, if I was good at what I did, if people valued me, then I would make this amount of money every month, I have this many clients or this many sales. And since I don’t it must mean that I’m not good at what I do is right? So we and this is with anything and especially with money. You know, we attach so many, like I wrote about this in one of my blog posts the other day, actually how like, essentially, every experience is meaningless, inherently it has no meaning. We attach a meaning to what we attach a story. And we especially do that with money. And we attach stories that feel really, really badly, right? Like, yeah, I’m just I’m not good at what I do, or my self worth, you know, if I was more valuable, I must, why would have more money. I like write stuff that feels really badly. I think a big thing with money too, is we have a lot of guilt over receiving money. Because we make money so significant. So if it’s like oh my God, this person’s giving me their money, oh my god, and like, you’re gonna say that, again, good luck, feeling good, accepting it from other people, you’re gonna feel like you’re taking away like a piece of their life if they’re taking their money from them. And I think that’s a big problem, especially with people like in our line of work, you know, coaches, energy healers, all that kind of like holistic, you know, spiritual type lines of work. Because there’s this idea that, like, you’re giving away this valuable and you’re going to take people’s money from them for and they need you and you’re going to charge money, and then there’ll be people that can’t, that need your help, and they won’t be able to get your help because you’re charging evil, dirty money for your services. And, you know, it’s like, so I think that’s a big thing too, especially with people in this line of work on guilt, receiving money feeling like you know, so one of the things that helped And what I tell people is, think of it as it’s just money, drop the significance around it. I know our mind is like no new is very important, you know, our mind makes a very good case for why it’s important. But like energetically, I’m kind of talking about like, drop the significance. Yeah. And then, to me, that’s, that’s a big thing, too, is when you start making money so important, it’s easier to receive it. And one of the big reasons is because you’ll probably even if it’s not conscious, you probably might have a lot of guilt over people giving it to you. And that’s makes it hard to track money. If you feel bad taking it from people, you’re not going to manifest people that are going to want to give it to you. Right. So yeah, it’s all that money’s an interesting thing.

And so how do you change energetically so that you’re not thinking about money in that way? Like, how would you go about making that shift in your mind?

Well, I think for me, one of the because I’ve had a lot of issues with money in the past, and I had some periods of like, really bad financial situations, like not literally having any money like living credit cards, type, graduations. And one of the things that helps me most was trying to see what I think the thing that helped me most was, you know, I feel like white different areas of our life, we have different things with money and relief, like specific beliefs and energies, like specific to that stuff that we kind of need to look at. But I feel like our biggest problem we have with receiving and this applies, I feel it’s it’s like the core of the core of the core of our issues, is like a sense of separation from like, spirit, God source, you know, people have different terms they like to use for it. Yeah. And if we can realize we’re not separate from that, that weren’t plugged into that, and then a bit be plugged into that energy will receive that energy in all different ways in the form of love, money, assistance, people, whatever it is that we need them. When we realize that we heal that separation, we realize we don’t really have any problems. So it’s like, for me it go with more general like that helped me because I realized money wasn’t separate from that. Because in a lot of ways, with manifesting, especially we kind of make money, its own thing to get the kind of exceptions and rules why it’s different with money. But it’s really not, to our mind, it is but energetically, it’s all the same. So when I started thinking about that concept of separation and healing, that separation, I realized that if I can get back into that flow, anything that worldly human, little Kelly needs, I’ll manifest it, it’ll be fine. And again, money’s not an exception. So that to me, helped me so much with money. And what the great thing about that sort of concept is, once you start healing, kind of addressing that major core issue, all the other issues, you see, or that are kind of offshoots of that they automatically start collapsing. Because once you accept that idea, so many other beliefs now, it’s so much easier to reject them, because you’re like, Oh, yeah, like it’s not a that’s not a thing. That’s not a real, that’s not really valid, you know, that doesn’t make any sense. So I would say that’s the biggest thing, especially with money work on like, kind of healing, that separation, you might feel that you feel like you’re cut off, you’re alone, it’s all up to you. No one’s there to help you. It’s not true. I think the process of attraction is neutral. It’s mechanical, it’s non judgmental. So that’s why we have to hold up our end of the bargain by cultivating that energy by cultivating those sorts of beliefs. Because the universe can’t defy that energy. Like I like I said, I think there’s a force that that holds everything together. I think that force is like a loving, beautiful energy. But as far as manifesting itself, that happens without any judgment. So it’s like the universe can’t look at you and be like, Oh, my God, look how bad she’s struggling when to go give her money. It’s not doing any of that it is purely input output. So that’s where our so we have that responsibility to cultivate that energy. Because it’s not about asking for something and then hoping the universe will give it to us. It’s more about To me, it’s like a co creation, where we have the energy, we’re doing whatever we’re doing in our life actions that we’re taking whatever we’re doing, and then the universe can kind of help align us and like deliver resources, deliver the clients, and we’re working. Like we’re working together. It’s not like a give a system of giving something that we’re demanding of it.

Right. Yeah. I like that. And, you know, I think we have like, we have stories about money, too, that we don’t even realize that we have, but Oh, absolutely, yeah. But you’ll start to notice they come up in your like, as you speak, you know, like somebody will go on a vacation and you’ll say well, that must be nice. Like Well, there’s a hidden into your story. And it’s funny when I was really working on this money stuff. I was thinking back to I was trying to identify my story and one of my story is was that I can’t budget I’ve always just made enough money that it didn’t matter. Okay, so that was my story. I don’t have to budget because I always just make enough money that it doesn’t matter. So then when I wasn’t making enough money, I couldn’t budget because that was my story. And so Exactly. I was thinking back to like, what was the very first thing memory that I have of money. And I grew up in Vermont, and my dad, you know, my dad worked, my mom stayed home. Like we had a comfortable life. We were never struggling. We never went without food. We didn’t go on extravagant vacations, but we were always fine. And my mom had a budget. And it was like, plastic envelopes that she had put, like in a three ring binder, and she would put like, the grocery money, you know, it was your budget, but it was labeled Mission Impossible. And that, yeah, that became my story that budgeting is impossible. And you know, my poor mother did it because she thought that was funny. But like, I that’s what I remember, like, that’s one of my first memories of money is that budgeting is impossible. So then I was like, Oh, my God, it’s not my fault. Like, of course, that’s what I think. And one day I sat like in meditation, and I asked the universe, like, what helped me like, how do I get over this? What is it? And I heard and I, I’ve talked about this before, like, there are times when I meditate where I hear, you know, where I’m feel very strongly that I’m getting a message. And it said, like, you don’t know where your money goes, why would you get any more? You can’t handle it? Yeah. And when I got super tight and figured out how to make a budget, like it all of a sudden, like, oh, that made sense. I felt like the energy of money wasn’t so elusive. Because I knew I was familiar with it. And when I get money, my daughter would laugh at me, but I would kiss it. I would be like,

like, thank you. I love you.

Yeah, I love you. I love you so much. And my daughter would say that’s dirty. And I would say no, it’s not. It’s so good. Because I don’t want her, you know, manifesting that money’s dirty. But it’s No.

Yeah, no, go on. It is it’s like, I think that’s and that’s a perfect example of how like, I think we have a lot of conflicting energy around money. And that certainly hinders our ability to receive it. And yeah, it’s like, you can’t let money in if you think it’s bad. Right? You know, you can’t you can’t become a wealthy person. If you think wealthy people are all you know, vapid, you know, whatever, you know, all these horrible things. We think about people that are wealthy, it’s like, yeah, good luck becoming one of them. Like, it’s not gonna happen. Yeah. So yeah, I think something that’s a part too is I kind of, we have to kind of tease out some of those conflicting energies that we that we have about it, or like you said, those stories like, I only I always have just enough. So if that’s your story, then that’s no matter how much you manifest, you’ll also manifest bills and other expenses to kind of keep you at that just enough level or, you know, if you think that you can earn a lot of money when something’s easy for you, or that you’re really good, or you would enjoy it. You’ll when you’re when you’re engaging your business you’re so passionate about. It’ll feel like you don’t deserve money, because this is too easy for you. It’s not you know, you’re not slaving hours away trying to earn it. You’re doing fun, easy things. It’s like oh, that’s not how you earn money. And it’s like, Oh, another story. Yeah, it is that they’re all stories that have, essentially, it’s like, nothing, it’s an energy. And we have all these countless stories about it as a collectively as a whole. And each in our individual lives, kind of based on our own experiences. Yeah, yeah.

So if somebody wants to, and I’m happy that you had struggles with money, too, because you’re this professional, so it makes me feel better that you also had issues manifesting what you wanted.

Every, you know what, and that’s kind of like what I said, like in the beginning, kind of why I really like to kind of focus on this sort of stuff. Because we all have that stuff. Very few people were probably raised in an environment where they were like, told, like the universe loves you and your energy creates and all this positivity and encouraging you to follow your intuition and follow your joy, like people that you’re very lucky, have anyone that was raised like that, Count your blessings, because that gives you a huge advantage. But most of us weren’t right, collectively, we picked up a lot of stuff. So you’re starting from a space where you have this stuff, you probably wouldn’t be drawn into this teaching in the first place, if you already had everything you wanted. So you’re you know, it’s and that’s personal development, in general to like, most of us aren’t like, well, I’m really happy. Let me just try to be happier and more awesome. It’s like, no, we’re kind of maybe depressed or anxious or something really bad happened to us and we’re trying to heal from it or we’re just generally unhappy or whatever. Something happened that shook up your life and some kind of big wake up call. So what most of us were kind of coming into this work with some stuff happening in the surface, whether it’s a trauma, a limiting belief, you know, a strong victim mentality, like we all have our stuff, right? And I still have, it’s a pressure you’re never done, never done. And I think what happens to with personal development, even if it’s not super conscious on some level, we’re kind of aiming to create this version of ourselves that I don’t know that will ever exist, like this version of we’re always happy Happiness, and that peace and Zen and plugged into the loving bosom of the universe and things fabulous. And then it’s just like a maybe like, maybe there are people like that. I don’t know I not there yet. But you know, I feel like too, it’s making peace with like, especially with money, right? Money stuff you, as you level up and make more money or go to different jobs or whatever, you’ll probably come up against new stuff that wasn’t activated previously. Like, for example, if you if you if you go from like getting a minimum wage job to a well paying office job, right, you made some kind of leap, some kind of shift there, you’re feeling good, you have this better relationship with money, a better idea that, you know, you can manifest more for yourself, you can manifest something better. But then if you go from the office shop, to starting your own business, that’s going to open a whole new can of worms energetically, and you’re going to have to deal with whatever comes up when you do that. So I think too, it’s making, especially with money, you know, as you level up, like, for example, your finances right now might be in a place where an unexpected expense for $50 makes you sick to your stomach, and you know, and then you you improve your finances, but you might not totally get rid of money stuff. But now maybe your threshold higher, and now maybe it takes $1,000 of unexpected expense to but you’ll still react. Yeah, yeah, it’s like, because I still,

yeah, because I still fight against stuff, I can still feel I mean, I still have a long way to go. I feel like I got through some immediate blocks. But yeah, there’s still a lot to

figure out. And I’m just making peace with that. Because I think we have this sense of like, you know, well, I believe, okay, these are the new beliefs. I’m supposed to believe this about money and this about the reality and this about the universe, and this is how it works. And then it’s like this kind of what it would be great if it was this just like one time decision, and this one time, energetic shift that and it’s like, oh, I’m done now. Wow, that was easy. Yeah. Why did I do this sooner? Well, what did I What was I doing the last 20 years. But yeah, so it’s like, you’re always going to be coming up against stuff, because a lot of stuff, it’s happening, it’s not conscious, and it won’t be brought to your attention until like something happens that kind of brings it to the surface. And you’re like, oh, that was so like a thing I didn’t really know, I felt that way. Or when you move in a new direction, or you level up to a new level of your business, or you make a really big change, like, new stuff is probably going to come up. And it’s like, it’s not a bad thing. It’s just, you know, to me, our feelings, our beliefs, all the stuff that’s floating up into our conscious mind. It’s just showing us where our energy is that, to me emotions, and fear is just a messenger. And it’s like, it’s good that you’re getting those messages, because you can’t really deliberately create your experience more consciously, if you don’t know what’s happening in your energy. And the only way to know is for this stuff to come up. So it’s like, it’s kind of part of the process it kind of you can’t really do it without that happening.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. So people can find out more about this on your website, right?

On my website is live life made to order.com. I have hundreds of blog posts like 80 something podcasts so far. products, coaching, anything you want to know about me, you want to learn more about these teachings, yet live life mate order.com. They contact me through there. My social media stuff is on there. Yeah, that’s the best place to kind of get in touch and learn more about me and my, my work.

Yeah, that’s awesome. Well, I think we could all benefit from a little bit of your work in our life. So thank you so much for being here. I appreciate your time. And this is Yeah, like super fascinating. I love the way you explained it. We had Pam grout. Do you know who that is? what they do? Yeah. So we had Pam on the show a while back. And so if anyone’s listening and they dig this, you can go check out Pam’s show. But it I like the way you explain it to it’s a little bit different than the way she explains it, which is great, because it just gives you it’s you’re talking about the same thing, but you’re kind of looking at it from a different spot, which I really like it because the stuff you shared today is really like, I feel like I have more of a grip on like how to actually move forward. So thank you for sharing all that with us.

Yes, I? I’m glad that you thought yeah, that’s kind of what I aim to do. Because I feel like it could be a teaching that’s like on the surface. It seems simple that when they’re kind of like, Okay, well, how do I yeah, and have resistance and yeah, just think about you want and wait for it to show up that easy peasy. Right? Kind of quite there. Yeah. How do I make a change? How do I make those changes? So that’s what I try to like kind of help people with that kind of that part of the process that might not be explained in a lot of other places. Yeah,

yeah. Well, awesome. Well, thanks so much for being on the show. I appreciate your time. Thank you so

much, Betsy. It was a great conversation.

Thanks for including me in your journey today. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. I’d love to hear what you think. And, as always, here’s the little message from my husband.

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Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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