045: Mindset strategies with Briana Marie - Betsy Pake

045: Mindset strategies with Briana Marie

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Briana Marie is a Mindshift coach and blogger over at theblueoptimist.com. At a very young age, Briana became fascinated with the spiritual realm and devoted much time to studying this subject and sharing her knowledge with others. She now shares her knowledge and experience with people all over the world through her blog and work in the community. 

Transcript:

Welcome to The Art of Living big. My name is Betsy Pake entrepreneur, author and personal success coach. This is the show that brings you stories and small ideas to help you live a big life. I hope this once a week podcast will inspire you, motivate you and encourage you to think differently about what could be possible for your life. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let’s go live big. Hey, everybody I have with me today my friend Brianna Murray. Hey, Briana, thanks for being on.

Not a problem. I’m excited to be on with you today.

So tell everybody, I’m excited for our conversation. There’s so much good stuff that I’ve read about you. But tell everybody a little bit about you and what you do?

Well, I am a mind shift coach and a blogger at the blue optimist calm. And basically, I just work with people and provide them with the resources and information they need to become the best version of themselves.

Hmm, I love that. And so you do that specifically with mindset. Is that right? Absolutely. And so tell me the kinds of things you see. Because I think that mindset, I mean, anytime I talk to anybody, it’s always what they’re thinking that’s holding them back. Right? So Sure. So how do you get started with somebody? Like, how can you uncover if somebody is listening? And they’re like, well, I can’t seem to move past this thing, or I’m having trouble with this. How do you even identify what the block is in your life?

Well, there’s something that I always recommend to people, because it works for me in particular, is writing I really got into journaling, which is how I discovered a lot of my subconscious blockages. And basically how this works, like when you’re writing or you’re journaling, just getting all of that stuff out of your head, what you will notice over a period of time, is that there are certain things like issues or concerns that will pop up consistently in your writing, that kind of points to a struggle that you’re going through within your subconscious and something that you may not notice when you’re you know, consciously going about your day. So I definitely recommend journaling your thoughts and just going through your day even and getting it down on paper.

Yeah, I think that’s super powerful. I’ve actually talked about that before on the show, just and I’ve talked about it in terms of like, consciously uncovering a belief system like why do I believe that? Why do I believe that? Why do I believe that? And it’s really so so powerful to be able to go down that path and to be able to see, and it’s funny, because I have noticed in my life like the things that would pop up? I would go Oh, no way. Like, yeah, I didn’t know that was there. Yeah. So then like, tell me a little bit more about how you work with people like what do you people find you and how do they find you? And how specifically do you go about this work with them?

Well, currently, a lot of it is done, I share a lot of information on my blog, I have a 10 day mind shift challenge, which is totally free, you can sign up at the blue optimist comm it’ll be there right on the homepage for you to sign up and get started. And in this mind shift challenge this these 10 days, I’m sending people action items, and a little bit of a coaching in their email for 10 days straight, and they’re able to access me as well. So we’re able to have conversations back and forth throughout this challenge. And, for example, one of the things that we do throughout the challenge is I have people go outside, you could be on your way to work or wherever you’re going. And I have them just take in things like the trees, the buildings, and things, things that you really wouldn’t notice. You know, as adults, there’s a lot that just doesn’t even cross our mind anymore. Kids may notice it, but we don’t. Yeah, so I have them look at these things. And then I have them tell me what is like one thing that you could learn from that object. And people are like, oh, what can I learn from the bad old building that I drove past? And I’m like, Yeah, tell me what you could learn from him. But like, what about it? What did you notice about it? everything it can teach you a life lesson, you know, would it tell me something? Yeah. And I think that’s one of the more interesting ones because it really gives people to dig into their thoughts and really get in there in their brain. They’re Well,

that’s crazy, crazy interesting, because I think that like you could look at a building, and I could look at a building and we could see very different things. Absolutely. So that’s super interesting. I have done the thing before where I’ve pretended I was an alien all day. And like walked around pretending it was the first time I ever saw you know running water or the first time I ever saw and you really can be like in spite you can use that. Use that with your people.

To borrow that one.

It’s amazing because you don’t realize how many like miracles you’re witnessing every single day. I turn on the lights. You know, I can make hot coffee. I have shelter like I have a bed. That’s like some kind of miracle foam from NASA. You know what I mean?

Yeah, like, seriously?

Yeah. So anyway, I find that really interesting about the building because I do think like it the way the filter that we have on the world changes how we see everything. And like somebody might see a rundown building, and somebody else may see like a really great place for Instagram photos,

right? Yes, definitely. Definitely. And I’ve actually gotten that throughout the challenge where people were like, I walked past an old building of mine. And I was like, Man, that’s a work of art. Like, I could totally do my photography there. And he was like, I told my wife about it. And she was like, really, I think it just needs to be condemned are radiuses I saw Roman neighborhood. Yeah, I found that very interesting.

And I don’t think either way is bad. It’s just like, How to Become aware of how you see things. Because then if something’s not serving you, you know, if you go, you know, I’m always seeing the condemned building or the, you know, nasty lawn full of weeds. And like, then you can go, Matt, maybe that’s holding me back, and then you can start to shift, right? So yeah, awareness is that first thing? So if somebody noticed all that, what, what would and I love the idea of the 10 Day Challenge? Because people when we want to make change, if we can be hyper focused? Uh huh. I have a 60 day transformation that I run like three or four times a year. And it’s a hyper focus on one goal, and it’s so impactful. People make like huge leaps. Because, yeah, cuz they’re putting all that focus on one thing. So tell me a little bit more about that challenge. And what other kinds of things you’ve seen and shifts you’ve seen?

Well, I think the biggest part of the challenge, it really gets people to look at the world from a different viewpoint. And I think once they do that, automatically, like certain blockages and things like belief sets that they’ve had for so long start to be revealed. And they’re like, oh, my goodness, like, I’m like, for example, somebody who’s struggling with money, and just manifesting more money, getting a good paying job, or their dream job, whatever it is. Going through the challenge. I’ve had one person there was like, we as I was going through the challenge, I realized that it was ultimately me looking at the world, she felt like there were no opportunities for her to really make enough money. Like we’re all trying to fight for this very minimal resource, and she just has to accept her position in society is one of the people who are just not going to have access to that that particular resource. Yeah. And she said, throughout the challenge, it got her to open her mind that she was limiting herself just by thinking that there wasn’t enough to go around. Yeah, that was all resources, you know, it just natural resources. And even

yet, that scarcity mindset, I think, is so prevalent with people

in definitely.

And, you know, it’s funny, because I’ll talk to people all the time. And as they keep talking, I’m like, Oh, they, they think there’s just like one bucket. Yeah, you know, and there’s, there’s more than one bucket, and not everybody wants the same bucket. So there’s like tons of unlimited buckets. And when you start to see the world that like that, and one of the things that I’ve noticed, and I think a huge part of this, too, is like putting down our cell phones and being in the world.

Oh, yes. Yes. I’ve talked about that as well. Like I’ve had people both like, so what did you notice in the sky today? Like, I don’t know, they were there the clouds? That was the sun shining bright? Did you see any birds up there? I don’t know, I didn’t really look at this guy today. We’re like down here in our phones. We’re not looking up at the stars and not looking at the moon. We’re not noticing the bigger picture, essentially. So that brings up a really good point.

Yeah, and I think like that, when we’re inside the social media, like when we’re really focused in on that, because that’s what a lot of us are doing, right? So it might be Twitter, or Instagram, or Facebook or whatever. But there is also a component of like, separating yourself from the real world, the real world, you know, the world, the outside world. And then also diving deep into this comparison, which reinforces the bucket like there’s not enough.

Yeah, yeah, that collective conscious that, you know, the spread around, like, especially on social media, you know, there’s a lot of, like, ideas and beliefs as they’re being spread around across social media. And I think that plays a huge role as well, especially in today’s society.

Yeah. Yeah. And it’s easy to like, compare yourself and then feel like you’re less than and it gets, like sort of a vicious circle.

Yeah, for sure. So,

like, how does somebody begin to make a shift? So they become aware and let’s say they have, and I’ve talked about this on the show before, but I think it’s just something that’s so common, but let’s say someone has a money blockage, and you know, then how, how do they start to change and shift the way they’re thinking?

I like to work alone. With affirmations people don’t, a lot of people don’t take it serious like, oh, it doesn’t work for me or whatever the case is, but it depends on how you use it. So some people, I will encourage to write like, even if you have to write it like 50 to 100 times a particular money affirmation like I am a Money Magnet, my bank account continuously grows, or money is just naturally attracted to me, right 50 to 100 times, because what you’re doing at that point is embedding it in your subconscious. And I really talked about that subconscious mind a lot. Because that is where that is where everything, that’s what really matters. That’s key, because there’s a lot going on in there that is blocking you from receiving those desires that you so desperately want to get your hands on. So I like to start with them. Because what you start to do is reprogram your subconscious mind your subconscious has, it can’t distinguish between your dreams and reality. So what positive affirmations do it get yourself conscious mind to think that you are already experiencing your desired outcome. So I am a huge advocate for positive affirmations writing, it seems to be really powerful exercise. So I say like if you got to write a 50 to 100 times do it. If you want to post one on your mirror, just what you’re seeing it every morning, or write it on your hand, put it in your phone, you want to drill that idea, whatever it is your desire is you want to drill that in your mind that you already have it.

Yeah. And but what if it’s something you don’t really believe?

Now, the thing is, if you want to, if you want to manifest anything at all, you have to believe that you can, right. And so that’s part of like the coaching and things I do is getting people to see their value, and see how powerful they are as individuals, how powerful the mind is getting them to understand that they can have whatever it is that they want, but they have to believe it first. So and this is a tricky one to work with. Because some people like I said that subconscious or even just way people people have been raised, leads them to believe that they’re not worthy of owning a particular object or living a particular lifestyle, or at least the lead that is wrong to want those things even Mm Hmm, yeah. So yeah, I definitely we work a lot on different exercises to get you to believe that you are indeed worthy of that, and that you can have that in your life.

Yeah, it’s hard because people like they, you know, they have a blockage there or become aware that this is their blockage. And then to start using affirmations can be tricky, because as soon as you say it, it might be something that your brain goes on. No, yeah,

yep. And that’s what the subconscious will do that because consciously, you’re saying affirmations, and this is why I like the writing portion of it better as well, because it seems to really bring it to life. Yeah, but um, consciously, you can say, I can say all day, hey, I’m millionaire. And I could repeat that a billion times a day. But the end of the day, if I’m like, oh, wait a minute, my bank account is empty. I’m not really a millionaire, like that’s going to be in your subconscious. So you think you’re a millionaire, you’re not going to wake up a millionaire in the morning? Because you don’t truly believe that you are right now. And there are like different, like visualizations and things you could do. And there’s even a few on YouTube. Like there are free resources you can use. Yeah. Whereas like, subliminal messages seem to be super helpful. Like getting those images in your mind. And this is why vision boards are, you know, really popular. Yeah. And you want to get those visuals in your mind of yourself already having it because that’s how you trick your subconscious to think you already have it, and also tracking it into your life and make it taking the steps necessary to get that particular item.

Right. Yeah. Have you ever read that book Thinking Fast and Slow by Michael Kahneman? I have not,

but I should probably check it out.

Yeah, it’s pretty cool. He talks about how your, you know, your fast brain and your slow brain. And you train your fast brain. So it’s sort of that thing you know, when you drive to work one day, and then you realize you had no idea you don’t remember driving at all? Yes. Right. So it’s like, because your fast brain drove you there. But your slow brain, your conscious brain taught it over and over and over and over again. And so, so many times when I talk to people, and they have this hang up, but they’ve told themselves this untruth for like, you know, 20 or 30 years. So to undo it in a day isn’t like, I mean, it’s anything is possible, but it’s probably not probable. Yeah. But if you can start to retrain your fast thinking brain one thing that I do with people and I do it with myself, too is I do not NLP is neuro linguistic programming.

Yep. Programming. Yeah. Yep.

Yep. So I’m certified in NLP. And so one of the things in that is leading. And so if you tell your brain something that’s true, it goes Oh, yeah, that’s true. And then you tell yourself the next thing, and it’s much more apt to believe you. So for a long, long time on my light switch, I had Every time I would flip up the light, I would say I allowed myself to turn on the light. I allow myself to build a big business. Do you know what I mean? Like? Yeah. And so when you do it that way, I think it really helps your brain because your brain goes, Oh, we believe this stuff.

You know?

Yeah, absolutely sure to retrain. I think that’s so powerful. There’s a Do you know, the the Miracle Morning? Yes, that Yeah. Yeah. All right. And he talks about in the morning, doing the journaling and visualization and affirmations like all that stuff, if you can get it in combination, I think can be so so powerful. But it’s awesome. The service you provide, because so many people don’t realize this, and they just think that life that they have is the life that they were destined to live.

Yeah. And I really, I try to get people to break free of this thought process, because it’s not true. You can have whatever life you want to design for yourself. And you can get as creative and fun with it as you like. Like, yeah, the possibilities are out there.

Yeah, yeah, it can be joyful and fun. What’s your background? What did you do like before this business, and you live in? Do you live in Hawaii? Or am I wrong on that?

I live back and forth between Michigan and Hawaii. Okay, that sounds rough. Is is interesting is quite a hike. But yeah. But um, basically, I started out, I’m still fairly young. So yeah, you know, I am, I kind of had like growing up, especially going through like high school, like middle school and high school, I kind of had like a very rough patch, where just nothing seemed to be going right for me. And I just wasn’t even on the right path. And I started like, trying to find ways to kind of get myself on track. So I tried all types of different businesses, I partnered up with somebody, we tried to run a clothing line, I started like a few blogs, I like kind of went like nowhere. And then eventually, I was guided onto the right path, which is what I do now. But I’ve done a lot of jobs and other things prior to getting into this work.

Yeah, I love that. Because so many times, I’ve had a interesting path to to get to where I am. And I think and I’m probably a lot older than you. So I’ve had more time to do crazy things. My path is even more windy. But I totally think it’s all on the journey. You know what I mean? Like you had Yeah. And the fact that you took the risk to do the clothing line or to partner with somebody or to do because so many people just go well, this is that’s not my path. Like because that’s hard stuff.

Yes, for sure. It is.

Yeah. And so, really, it sounds like you learned a lot just by figuring it out in your own life.

Yeah, it was it was um, you know, those failures that everybody talks about which a lot of people let’s defeat them, I use every mistake or failure, as you call it. I’m like us, we’re failure. But yeah, I’m situations where I wasn’t as successful as I would have liked to abysm I use them all is stepping stones and a learning. Like, experiment. Yeah,

yeah. I and that’s how I was guided, I always say, we should have failure parties. You know, like, that’s we celebrating that, because that’s how you have successes. Instead, we celebrate success, or sometimes we don’t, you know, but like if we celebrated our failures, because that’s like, You dare to take a risk. You know, you put it out there in like, that’s really I need the support.

You know, I always tell people to like celebrate every little success. But I think I now want to tell them like both failures to talk about Yeah, celebrate those as well. Because that is an opportunity. Yeah, whether you think so or not is a massive opportunity. So we should celebrate that. Yeah, good point there. Totally.

Tell me when you you’ve said a couple times, now you were guided. Tell me about Yeah.

Okay, so I started like a blog A while ago, it was like on fashion and stuff I like to write. So I used to write all the time. Let me start there. Like from the ages, like for reading or writing or my thing and teaching. I like to teach people Yeah, um, and like I said, I went through like a rough patch in life for things just like we’re not going anywhere, like I would have liked him to. And I was kind of like searching for this, that thing, but something to give me that that fire, that passion that makes me renew my belief that life can be great. And like I said, I started a clothing line, which was after I had my daughter. Like, I think she was only a few months old at the time. And that that didn’t seem to like go well. But while I was working on the clothing line, I started a blog to help promote the clothing line and I realized that I really like blogging. And from that, like when the clothing line didn’t go well or whatever, I was like I still want to keep blogging. So I started a parenting blog, which is doing Very well still, I still have my parenting blog as well. And I started the fine like, quite naturally. And there’s a lot that’s going on behind the scenes like I’ve done a lot of work with, um, like spirituality law of attraction and things like that. So there was a lot of that going on behind the scenes outside of this. But um, I discovered my parenting blog, it just started to take off faster than I had planned to. And during this time I had I started working with a life coach, a really awesome life coach, Christina Dukes, I found her on YouTube. Yeah, but or not. Yeah, looking at looking for law of attraction videos. I found her and I guess butter her I was like, oh, my goodness, that is my coach. Really? That’s cool. Yeah, yes, it was really cool. Like, really seriously found her on YouTube. So I started working with her. And while I was working with her, I was like, you know, like, I love my blog. It’s great. It’s doing well as bringing me money. You know, that’s what it’s all about. Right? Making money. Right? Yeah. And I just don’t feel satisfied, though. Like, there’s just something missing. And I can’t pinpoint what it is. And as we were talking, she was like, it sounds like you’re really into like spirituality law of attraction, growth, self development. And I was like, Yeah, I am. And she’s like, why don’t you blog about that? I was like, Huh, wait a minute, that actually is a really good idea. Because this is like something like personal development is something I’m really super passionate about. Yeah. And I was doing it in my spare time with people like friends and family, and I hadn’t even noticed him. And I was like, You are absolutely correct. So I immediately like, after our coaching call, then I like dove. And I started working on this new blog. And as I was preparing content for my blog to finally launch it, I was like, you know what I need to I need to like, actually, coach, we need to do something more one on one. I want to reach a larger audience with a blog, it’s helpful, especially as a free resource for those who are just out there looking like I was when I found my life coach. Right, right. And, um, and from there, I was, like, I think I want to do coaching. And I guess I was working with a life coach who I talked to her about some things, she gave me some ideas, and I was like, What do I want to call myself? Like, I don’t want to be like, I’m a life coach, because there’s something deeper with what I do, because I’m really focusing on the mind. Right, this point, right? Yeah. And I was like, ah, I was like, I’m a mind shift coach. Like, that’s what it is. Yeah, mindset coach. And that has been, it’s been so rewarding and social feeling that I just know, this is just, this is my life purpose. And it feels so great.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that’s huge. When you can

figure out that what that is, I mean, I talk to people every day that are, you know, still working to figure that out. And they’re, you know, in their 40s and 50s. And it’s can be really is trading, it can be so frustrating. I get that. I totally get it. Yeah. So that’s awesome. So cool. So people can head to your website, and you’ve got free resources there and they can jump on board on that 10 day mine mindshift challenge, which I love that. I mean, I have to check that out myself. And, and then we do have an online community. It’s at SS lb community calm if anybody listening wants to jump in there, and continue the conversation. And you of course are welcome to jump in there with us. Absolutely. Yeah. and answer any questions and hopefully, maybe get some conversations started and share some stuff in there with us too.

I would love

to Absolutely. All right, awesome. Thanks so much.

Not a problem.

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for having me on your journey today.

I want to invite you to jump inside our free Facebook group. You can find that at SS lB community.com that stands for start small, live big community.com and we can just continue the conversation in there. And as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

HI, I'M YOUR HOST

Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs

*Optimist

*Deep thinker

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About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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