055: My Failure and How It Leads To My Big Life - Betsy Pake

055: My Failure and How It Leads To My Big Life


This week is all about failure!  But let’s celebrate it and make it a good thing!

Grab those Deep dives from episode 51-54 at www.Betsypake.com/lab

music bensound . com


Hi, I’m Betsy Pake. I’m a reinvention strategist and NLP coach, author and speaker. But really, I feel like I just work with people all over the country to help them be happier. And to help them have a little bit more ease in their life. Today, I hope to do the same for you. Thanks for listening. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Episode 55 of The Art of Living bag. All right, I failed. I’m going to tell you a story. And I’m going to tell you what I learned from it. And this is not really the podcast I expected to do today. But it is what it is. And I totally believe that there is some lessons and some really good things that I learned. All right, so what am I talking about? If you’ve listened to any of the last five episodes, I have been talking about the live big lab. So I would do the podcast and I would have something that you could learn as a deep dive inside the live big lab. So I had this idea back over the early part of the spring, and I went for a walk at in my in law’s house. So it must have been Memorial Day. And I was walking and listening to a podcast. And as I was listening, I thought I wish they had more I wish I could go in and learn more. And that really triggered something in me because I had been wanting to do a membership site. I’m really a big, huge fan of community and wanting to build community. And so I thought, Oh, well, that’s what I’ll do. And I started pulling this all together in my mind the big live big lab, and it was gonna be so fabulous. And so I did those few episodes, Episode 5152 53 and the 54. And I put them out there. And I’m thankful that I only had the lab open during that first week, because I wanted to do sort of a beta test. So I wanted a small group of people. So I could try it out and see how it went. And if there were any snack foods, I would be able to fix it with just a small amount of people. Now, that was actually a really good choice. Because what I found when I was doing the lab was that those deep dives, felt like important information. So I was teaching something in the podcast, and the deep dives. I felt like as I was trying to decide, like what do I hold back to put in the deep dive. It just felt wrong, it felt wrong to hold back the pieces of information that I was. And really, maybe a group coaching or a monthly coaching call would be a better way for me to do a membership. But regardless, I realized it felt yucky. And so I made a big bold decision and just decided to stop it, I’d only done four episodes. And a lot of people said to me, as I, as I, you know, went to a couple of my mentors and bounce some ideas off my husband. They said, like, should you try it for six months, like maybe it’s just because it’s new, maybe it’s because you know, you just have a small group in there, which in my mind, I was like that was by design. But in the end, I just decided how it felt it wasn’t aligned with who I was. So here’s who I am, I really live in a world of abundancy I want to have, and I believe there’s lots out there for everybody. And so when I was holding something back, it felt like I was selling something on the basis of scarcity. And that just didn’t feel right to me. Typically, even when I do my 60 days of transformation, that group coaching program, the only reason I have a drop dead date to sign up is simply because everybody starts together. So I don’t really have anything that’s on a model of scarcity. And, and I really didn’t like it. So I stopped it. And if you want to get those deep dives, you still can you can still go to live big lab.com or text live big one word 2444999. And you can just buy them as a bundle, just a one time charge, because I wanted people to still be able to get the information, but I can’t give it to you because other people paid for it. Okay. All right. So here’s where we are. The lab is closed, and I had this sinking feeling like did I fail? And that’s really what I want to talk to you today about failure. And I believe that many times we avoid failure or we overthink things like could I have done something different so that I could have seen how the lab would have felt or could I have done like maybe, but also maybe just trying new things is risky. And maybe putting yourself out there is risky. You know, it was a little embarrassing to say like this didn’t work the way I wanted and because it was kind of such a personal thing.

It wasn’t Like this didn’t work because it’s not feasible, financially feasible. Like, it wasn’t that at all it was this didn’t work, because I didn’t like how it made me feel. And so I think that many times we don’t do things because we’re so afraid of that happening. We’re afraid of failure, we’re afraid of being embarrassed, we’re afraid of looking silly, we’re afraid of what people might say about us or what our families might think. And I wanted to share that failure with you, because I want you to try to stop some of that, and I’m going to try to stop some of that and other areas of my life too. I’m gonna, I’m gonna change the way I view failure. You know, when we’re little kids, we learn to ride a bike, and we know, we’re not going to be able to ride the first time we get on it, we expect to fall I mean, we cover our kids from head to toe in gear, and we expect them to fall. But for some reason, as adults, we go out and we do something, we expect it to be really well thought out and every angle, analyzed, and we know exactly how it’s going to go. And when you’re being creative, and which any kind of any kind of problem solving is creative. So if you’re doing something at your office, that’s a problem solving and you’re being creative, you’re putting yourself at risk for failure. And so I wanted to talk about the steps really, that happened when I realized that this was a failure. Now you might be listening and going, Betsy, it wasn’t a failure. I remember, I’m not thinking of failure as a bad word. So it was a failure. And that’s amazing. I really want to change so that we’re celebrating failures. You know, my daughter started her sophomore year of high school today. And I want to make sure that we celebrate that this failed. And I mean, I’m going to make a cake. And we’re going to talk about how great it was that I tried it, because that’s going to teach her, that feeling is really good. It doesn’t have to feel bad, it can feel really great. Because you learned something new, I learned what didn’t work. I learned now, what different things might feel to me so that when I move forward and try to do something else, I can go Wait a second, can I draw on past experience? can I learn something from that? And can I make a better decision for something else moving forward. So celebrate failures, let’s change the way and shift the way we’re talking about failure and make it not a dirty word. But something to really celebrate. The The next thing is, the second thing is really the responsibility. So when I realized I made a mistake, I had to clean it up. And so I reached out to everybody in the lab. And I, you know, I’ve posted a video and I explained myself, I tried to make it right, financially, because they did invest in that so that they had access to that always, even though I was going to cancel their membership, right, because it’s a membership. So you’d only have access during the month that you were a member. But I changed that so that they would always have access to those episodes and always have access to the stuff that I shared. And that felt much better to me. And so I took responsibility for it, I made it a way that other people that wanted the deep dives could still get them, even though it wasn’t going to be an ongoing membership site. So I didn’t want to withhold that information from everybody. But I also had to charge for it because I charged the initial participants, right? So I took responsibility for it. I tried to clean it up, right, clean up the mess and make it fair. And then the one of the other things I did was I just cuz I had a moment, you know, where I was like, Oh my god, you know, when you fail, or when you know, you’re gonna look silly, or you’re doing something you’re like, I can’t even believe this happened.

And I care so much about the integrity of what I do that it bothered me. Like, I just wanted to make sure that I was in alignment, right. So I had to go forward five years, will it matter in five years? No. Will it matter in three years? No. Will it matter in one year? Well, then I could kind of see. So I was like, well, it could help me because then I could make better decisions. So anything I do over the next year could help. So actually, the failure wasn’t that bad. It actually was helpful. And so when I changed and reframed the way I saw it, it really really helped me to be able to, to learn for from it. And so I share that story with you today. So you know what will be happening with the the podcast moving forward, you might get lessons from me, you might get some interviews, you might get just conversations that I have with friends where we talk about the things that I share and you know some law of attraction stuff and some strategies and some neuro linguistic programming and just all of the things that I’m into just to be able to share on the podcast for anybody that wants to listen. So thanks so much for listening to this episode of The Art of Living bag. Happy to have you along on the journey with me. Let me know what you think dive into our Facebook group. You can find that at SS lB community.com. It stands for start small live big community.com and I’d be curious to hear how you failed. Jump on in there and make me feel better. All right y’all have a great week.

Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now don’t forget you can find the lab by going to live big lab comm or you can text the word live big just one word 2444999 have a super week. And as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.