063: Building a Big Life when you're an introvert with Thea Orozco - Betsy Pake

063: Building a Big Life when you’re an introvert with Thea Orozco

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Thea Orozco is a business and leadership coach for introverts. She helps introvert business owners find their natural leadership style so they can strategically and authentically promote themselves and build an online audience of dedicated fans. Thea has been using social media for business for a decade since MySpace was the place to be. Now, she’s using her training as a life coach, and her extensive experience with social media, to help her fellow introverts harness their superpowers so they can grow their business and have a bigger impact in a way that feels right. And she’s doing this from the comfort of her introvert cave in Los Angeles, California.

Grab your free download here: www.introvertology.com/betsy

The TED Talk we discuss: https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts

Transcript:

Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews, stories, and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Thanks for listening.

Now let’s go live big.

today’s podcast is brought to you by audible. You can get a free audiobook download and a 30 day free trial.

at audible trial comm backslash live

big. They have over 180,000 different titles to choose from, and you can listen on your iPhone or your Android. I have been listening to Audible for years and I have so many different books on my audible app on my iPhone. I I noted last week, I had just finished the 10 x rule by Grant Cardone, which was so so good. But another really good one that I listened to. That is really sort of outside the box for me was the secret to success by Eric Thomas. Really good, a really great story. It’s his own story. And I think you’ll find it fascinating. So check out the free trial. You can get it by going to audible trial comm backslash live bag. Now let’s go to the show. Hey, everybody, thanks for coming on and listening to another episode of The Art of Living big. I’m here today with my friend, Theo rosko. Hey, yeah, I mean, I practiced the name screwed me up. I’m sorry. So hey,

that’s it. I did a good job anyway,

trying I’m trying. I’m so excited that you’re here though, because I know you’ve got like awesome message. And I am. I’m super excited to just hear a little bit more from you. So tell everybody who you are and what you do.

Sure. So as Betsy said, my name is Thea, and I help intrapreneur entrepreneurs to grow a business. And basically, it started about four years ago, I was on Twitter promoting another business of mine. And in span of one week, I saw two people just post, you know, casual tweets, kind of mentioning how they didn’t feel like they were a normal person, right? Like they felt like there’s something wrong with them. So basically, what I did is I just tweeted to them, give them a link to some cans. Ted Talk. I don’t know if you’ve seen some cans TED Talk. That’s a no what, Which one is that? I’ve seen a lot of TED Talks. But tell me about that one. It’s about introversion. So I think it’s called the power of introversion.

I may have seen it Oh, link it in the show notes in case people want to see it.

Yeah, please do. It’s great. And there’s I think there’s like 3 million views or something huge. Yeah. But anyway, it’s like this big TED Talk. She has also written a book called quiet. And so I sent these two people on Twitter a link to Susan Susan’s Kane’s TED talk. I said, you know, you’re not alone. You’re not broken. You’re just an intern. And they’re just like, you know, amazed. Okay. You know, there’s nothing wrong with me. So then I thought, okay, maybe more people need to be told this. So I started a Facebook page and a Twitter account, basically just telling introverts, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just an introvert. And when my Facebook page grew to about 10,000 likes, I thought, okay, maybe I should monetize this. Right? Yeah, yeah, right for something here. So I tried a few things like selling t shirts, stuff like that. And then I came across life coaching about that, okay, this is perfect. I can help my fellow introverts in more meaningful way, I’ll become a life coach. So I took the training, you know, six months worth of training, to do live code certificate. And I kind of quickly found that once I got my first few clients, that wasn’t really for me. But, you know, I had been doing entrepreneurship for like, 10 years, by then I thought, you know, maybe I’ll help my fellow internet entrepreneurs, because my favorite clients were actually the entrepreneurs. So that’s what I did, I pivoted, took a while, it was really hard to just kind of say goodbye to those 10,000 likes, and, you know, start all over again. But that’s basically what I did. And that’s where I am right now. I’m helping internet entrepreneurs to kind of just overcome the fears that can come with just putting yourself out there and, and living a bigger life.

Yeah, I love that. So I think there is a big misunderstanding about what an introverts really truly is.

Right? Speak. Yeah.

Because I think people think that an introvert means that you, like don’t talk to people and you’re really shy and, and it can mean that but explain to me what, how you view being an introvert.

Yeah, that’s a really good question, because you’re right. A lot of people confuse it with shyness. Yeah. When really there’s extroverted, extroverted people who are shy as well. So shyness is a fear of being judged right? introversion is, a lot of times people like to explain in terms of energy. So extroverts gain energy by being around other people instruments gain energy by being alone. But that doesn’t actually mean that introverts don’t like being around people. It just means that, you know, after we’ve been around people for long enough, we need to kind of refill or metaphorical energy cup. By being alone.

It’s interesting, because I know if people that are listening know me, or are part of my group or whatever, I am not shy, like, I will talk to somebody at the gas station, you know, like, I am outgoing, and, but when I have to go, even if it’s people, I really like to go to a party, like, I have fun once I get there. So if you’re listening, and you’re like, Oh, my gosh, I’ve invited to her to a party when I get there, but truly to get there takes like, some emotional, like, I have to have a discussion with myself. And I can be there for a while. And I’m really happy. And then I’m just done. And then I just want to come home. And my husband is the opposite, right? So he like gets really, he loves to go watch football with the neighbors and like, do all this stuff. And I go for a little while, and then I leave. And I think sometimes it’s like

confusing, like,

how are they together? But I think it’s a really common thing, right? Where I just get I have enough and I get filled up by being alone by reading by doing those kinds of things.

Yeah, totally. So yeah, as you said, You’re not shy. I’m not. I don’t consider myself shy either. Um, it’s just kind of another way of being. So it’s another way of interacting with the world. And, you know, I also Well, I personally don’t like party, so

don’t bother.

Yeah, but I, you know, I love doing a one to one conversations with people. Yes,

yeah. Or a small group. Like, I could do two or three girlfriends, you know, and that feels good to me. But yeah, yeah, it’s like a draining experience. I think energy that you described is a really, really good way to say it. And so when I think and you correct me because I’m open to being wrong, but I think that certain types of entrepreneurship, introverts are drawn to, because you can work from home, like, you don’t have to wear pants, right? Like,

yeah, you don’t have to see people. And so

like, Is that what you find to like, certain kinds of entrepreneurships? Like introverts are just drawn to?

Totally, I mean, there’s a lot of very famous, you know, online entrepreneurs out there right now, who are introverts? Like Marie Forleo, she’s an introvert. Um, she James Wedmore. Yeah, she has even she’s interviewed Susan Cain. So if you can find that interview, it’s really interesting. Yeah, the person wrote the book on introversion. She didn’t even know that, right? Because it’s really hard to tell when someone’s an introvert or not, if you’re not actually like interacting with them and seeing what they’re like when they’re not, you know, quote, unquote, on

Yeah, sometimes, like my people that I truly, genuinely, like, think that I don’t like them. And sometimes I’ve even said, like, we’re setting this appointment, like, we’re gonna get together, and we’re gonna have drinks or whatever it is, and I’m gonna try to cancel, and I want you to know that it’s not for him, like this is what’s gonna happen is not personal. But just don’t let me and I’ll have a really good time. So I love that Marie Forleo is because I feel like that gives me hope. Look, you’re already doing a really good job with gingerbread entrepreneurs.

Yeah, I mean, so there’s just tons of us out there. And I think what we need to do when we think about introversion and entrepreneurship is we need to realize that we can control the way we’re interacting with the world, especially on online because Marie Forleo, I think she does all of her videos and a chunk. So she gets, you know, does seven videos or whatever, in one day, and then she can just take the rest of the week off to do something that’s less, you know, out there and less sociable.

Yeah, that’s interesting, because I find for myself that that’s what I like to do. I like to have like all my podcast interviews on one day, and then the other days, I can like choose, depending on how I’m feeling like what I do so very similar.

Yeah, yeah. So I mean, the thing is to just figure out what works for you, maybe it’s spacing everything out, but just, you know, realize that, you know, there’s nothing wrong with you. Yeah, and just figure out a way that works for you. So you can actually just fill your, your little energy cup back up for when the times where you really need to, you know, be social and be, you know, our social face on Right, right. Yeah. Do you have tips for people that when they have to be in social situations like things To do or is that a different side of the business that you don’t work on? Um, I don’t really work on that anymore. And I used to be a life coach. But basically, if you’re at a party or something like that I I try and encourage people to just be present is the best thing, right? Because I don’t know about you. But when I’m at a party, I’m just like, I can be distracted by everything. Which I think is part of the reason why it’s so draining is because I’m, there’s a person in front of me talking, but then I can also hear everything else going on around me, right? So you know, I really try and encourage people to be present and use their listening skills, because listening is really one of our strengths. And what I find from a lot of my introvert colleagues and customers and past life coaching clients, but a lot of them thought that they, in order to be a good conversationalist, they had to really not listen, but talk. And when that’s not really the case, you know, use your listening skills, ask deep questions, you don’t have to come up with, you know, the most interesting story like right there off off the tip of your tongue. So just be there, ask questions, and really be interested in the other person.

Yeah, I do think that when we get nervous or when we’re uncomfortable, asking questions is really great. Because I’ve been in instances before where I just was so tired, and I didn’t feel like being there. And I met somebody new, and I just got interested in who they were and asked a bunch of questions. And at the end of the conversation, they were like, you’re fascinating. And I was like, I have not even said a thing. But it was awesome. Because I made them feel so good. Right. So yeah, as an introvert, I mean, for me, like that makes me go Okay, well, that was good. Like, that was a good experience. And so it’s a way to kind of manage that.

Yeah, definitely. So yeah, as you experience right there, like we can be, you know, it’s just not what we say are just presence can be memorable, right? Yeah. So we don’t have to put that pressure on us to come up with something amazing, like some amazing response what the person said, just be there be present, be interested in what the person is saying. You know, ask some clarifying questions. And really, the the big present is memorable enough.

Yeah, yeah. Because so many times people aren’t listening. Yeah,

yeah, totally. And it’s aggravating when, when that happened, right.

So if somebody comes to you, how do you help them? Do you help them with like, well, you tell me, I won’t, I won’t try to guess yours.

Well, it’s mainly one to one coaching also occasionally do masterminds. And I have a group coaching workshop coming up in November for people who want to start doing Facebook Lives. But mainly it’s one to one coaching. We started off with, you know, really, really clarifying what it means to be a leader online. Because when I work with internet entrepreneurs, a lot of us don’t think of ourselves as leaders, because the stereotypical leader is someone who gets in front of a room and tells people what to do, when that’s not, you know, necessarily what you do in online business or even, you know, real life business. So, we start off just redefining leadership that includes their personality. And then a lot of what I do also is just working through the fear, like there’s imposter syndrome that comes up when you’re trying to build an online business.

Like, what what is that for somebody listening?

Okay, so whenever I describe imposter syndrome to somebody, they’re like, oh, my god, there’s an actual word for it. Um, so imposter syndrome is when you feel like basically, you’re a fraud. So a lot of times when people start to get some success, or even if we don’t, we can often feel like, we don’t know what we’re talking about, even if we’ve had, you know, years of experience or schooling or whatever. We can often feel like, everybody else out there knows more than us, and that will be found out as a fraud, like people will find out we don’t know as much as they think we’ll know. And it just, it’s affected. Everybody like Maya Angelou, Kate Winslet. There’s this interesting blog post from Neil Gaiman about Neil Armstrong. He felt like an imposter syndrome. You know, the first man on the moon. He said, I was just, you know, I was just, I would just want where I was told, right, that was, so he felt like an imposter, right?

It felt like that or do extroverts? Are they less likely?

I think it’s both people. Yeah. But I think introverts might feel the effect stronger since we’re in our head so often. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I think we both both personalities can experience it, but I think it might hit introverts the hardest,

right? Right. I know. I’ve experienced that and I sure I will again, but I feel like I’ve got past it a little bit. But it is a real thing. And it’s funny how many people say the same thing. Like, I remember when I was finishing up my book, like last year, or like, right around this time, and I got it back from the editor, and it was done. And I was like, Oh, my God, like, people can’t read this, then they’re gonna know that like, I don’t know what I’m doing. Yeah, this this weird exposure, that’s kind of what it feels like, to me and posterous it sort of feels like exposure or like the fear, I mean, a fear of exposure Really?

Right. Yeah, of being found out. Yeah. Yeah, it’s, it’s a weird experience. And I think it’s, it’s important to realize, you know, it’s really normal, it just means you’re humble. And it just means that, you know, you understand that you’re not the most that, you know, there’s other people with other experiences out there. So, I would think that everybody probably feels like that, at some point, if they have some, you know, humbleness, and

I like thinking of it like that, you know, I like that, that we know that there’s other people that know more than we do. But that doesn’t take away what we do know. And thinking of it that way is actually helpful in my head. So that’s good.

Yeah. And the other thing to remember also is even if there is somebody who’s more of an expert out there, you also are the expert in yourself, right? You have, you know, skills and knowledge that are particular to you. So that’s part of kind of what I try and help people with is to see themselves as experts, right, you don’t have to see yourself as the topics were, because you have your unique experience. So that makes you an expert in your own life and your own way of seeing the world. Right. Yeah. And really, the way you present information is different than anybody else in the world, because your life and experiences have been different. Yeah,

yeah, totally. So all right. So we’ve got the re clarifying what it means to be a leader and then imposter syndrome. What else do you teach in that?

Um, well, I’m also really interested in you know, social media. That’s kind of my background. I’ve been doing social media for business for a decade. And that’s really what’s what I’m most interested in, because, you know, basically, a lot of our lives are online now. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

When they say that most people buy based on like, influencers on social media. It’s

not commercials anymore. No. So that’s kind of just where the world is heading. So, you know, I tend to work more with businesses with online, an online presence versus, you know, offline retailers, because, you know, I understand the online a little bit more, even though I did, I actually did help my father run a yarn store for a few years, but I just think belmond worlds kind of more interesting. Yeah. So you know, I help injured entrepreneurs to come up with the social media strategy, so that they aren’t, you know, just feeling overwhelmed by it all, because social media can just be so entirely overwhelming. If you’re not, if you’re approaching as in, you know, I’m an introvert, and I always have to be on and present online, which you don’t, you don’t have to be

that it’s something that I struggle with. I do okay, on Facebook. And maybe it’s because that’s where I feel like my people are, you know, but it’s weird, because it’s like, well, Instagram is a real struggle for me. And maybe it’s because it’s a picture, right? And so it seems more like exposing. And so you have to, you know, create this like image, right, which you’re creating an image for your brand, or whatever it is. And my words are much more impactful than something I could show. So like, I’d rather write a status update than I would like an Instagram post. But that’s interesting. And you know, if you’ve been doing that, this for that long, it’s very noisy out there. But you must have seen a lot of changes in terms of social media and how businesses use that.

Yeah, so I started off in my space with my family’s yarn store. Oh, my god, you’re kidding. Yeah,

yeah. You are old school with it. Yeah.

Yeah, so a lot of things I’ve changed. I kind of actually missed the old. The old MySpace, thanks for the ad. Yes. savings for the Yeah. So nowadays, you know, there’s Facebook Live. And it’s, you do have to be a little more, you know, vocal and, and showing, you know, a little louder online now, but you can still be authentic and, and get followers. So it’s, it’s important to basically be yourself because what I what I try to encourage people to do,

yeah, yeah, that’s good. I mean, that’s good advice, right? Because it goes back to how you are different than anybody else, even if you’re sharing the same type of content. Yeah, your spin on it is so different than anyone else’s.

Yeah.

And it’s noisy out there. So really to make, to make a difference to make any impact for anybody to really notice you. You have to be different, like you have to be willing to embrace Whoever you are, right and all your crazy glory.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, that’s what Marie Forleo is doing, right? She’s doing her quirky business videos. And that’s how she stood out. And I think I read, you know, read, I probably saw some of her video that mentioned that she enjoys doing that. Right. That’s what she likes doing. Yeah, that kind of shows. So yeah, definitely just, you know, be yourself.

jP jP, oh,

yeah. The spiritual guru guy, right.

Yeah. Yeah. So

he’s, he’s the redhead, right. So you might have seen the videos where he does Morgan or something. No, that’s a that’s a financial service. Nevermind. But he does those funny videos. They’re funny, right? Where he like, makes fun of stuff. But he’s, like a huge business off of that.

Yeah, totally. He just launched a private community. I think just this week, but yeah, so he is basically like he, I watched a interview with him. And he at first was just trying to be his idea of what a life coach should be. Right. Like, you’re just giving advice, you’re kind of straight laced. And then he he, but you know, start to realize that way, you know, this isn’t me. It’s taking a lot of energy for me to just, you know, quiet my fun side. Yeah. So you just started doing fun videos, and it took off because it I think, you know, people like weird things online. It’s something

different, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, it’s interesting. Um, I had the funniest. Or let me rephrase that the best Instagram accounts that I have found that I go back to and back to and back to our people that are doing stuff that just seems so funny. There’s a there is and I’ll link to it, but there is a groomer a dog groomer in LA, that grooms these fancy dogs, you know, like with the long hair. And so she after she grooms them, she takes slomo videos of them where she’s blowing the hairdryer on them, and their hair’s all flowing in the wind. And she plays like funny music in the background. And it’s, I mean, it’s so fun, like, like, sometimes I go to her page, and I there’s not even any sound coming out. Because it’s so funny. And she was saying that she built like a huge business. Because of Instagram. She had her dog grooming business before she got on Instagram. But it never took off until she got on Instagram. And it’s because she was showing who she really is. Right. So I do think there’s tremendous power in that. And that’s probably something for me to consider. As I look at Instagram, because, you know, in my real life, like I’m very silly, but I don’t show that all the time. Because again, like that seems scary, right? Like what will people really think? But I think you’re right, like people are people gravitate to real?

Yeah, yeah, definitely. they gravitate towards we’ll they gravitate towards something they can relate to. So, you know, I just encourage you to be yourself. That’s on Instagram.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, we don’t know what we’ll get.

Good. Try that.

So it’s funny, I have a teenager and she’s 15. Right. So she’s knows all about social media, probably more than than me. And I had asked her at one point like to help me like, what do you think and many times before I post something, I’ll say like, what do you think about this? Is this stupid? You know, like, what do you think? And she has sent me before like, Mom, you’re so funny. Like, why don’t you post anything funny? And I’m like, because I’m a serious business. You know, I mean, I don’t know why. Because I don’t know how to translate that. Maybe that’s something to really think about. Do you have advice for that? Like, how it How does somebody translate? Like, I can do it much more now? Like, because we’re talking or I can do it more in a video? And how do you translate your personality into something that’s static like Instagram?

Well, you can do you know, short videos on Instagram. So I would, if I were you, I would start off. If you’re, if you have an easier time doing, you know, funny stuff on videos, I started off just doing more funny videos, and then translate that to, you know, your images, like maybe you can just see something, you know, that’s around you that makes you laugh, and then, you know, take a picture of that and talk about why it’s funny. So, you know, I think a lot of people think that when they start to kind of find their own voice on on any social media platform, that it needs to be this instantaneous thing, but it’s totally okay to you know, take it slow, you know, find your footing and find your voice. And I think also it’s just a process, right?

Yeah, yeah, let and really like what feels okay. And I’m alignment, right. So when I do something, how does that feel? Is that feel good? Keep doing it. Maybe it’s really an evolution in that way. Like I feel like my business in itself has been an evolution. Right like a year ago it looked different than it does now. Now there’s a whole lot more clarity and alignment. And so maybe that just needs to translate into the Instagram. I want to be one of those girls that has like the perfect Instagram with rose gold and white.

Not

Yeah, yeah. Skinny jeans. No.

I’m telling you, that is not me. I have like none of my images mash, you know,

but it’s okay. It’s okay.

So this is fascinating. So tell tell everybody how they can find you so that if they you know, they want to connect and tell everybody where you are?

Sure they can find me. introvert ology, calm. You know, I’m on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, under introvert ology there as well. I have a Facebook group called trail making introverts. It’s not just for entrepreneurs, it’s for you know, artists and basically other people who are just kind of trying to find their way into what they want to do. So you think yourself as a thought leader or something like that, because as entrepreneur you’re welcome to join that and actually created a opt in or rather a freebie for you know, your your listeners Betsy so it’s introvert ology, comm slash Betsy, for any of your listeners who need to overcome their social media overwhelm, so.

Yeah, I’ll have a link to it also in the show notes,

but go ahead, tell me what it is. So it’s five tools to overcome social media overwhelm, because, you know, I’ve been even though I’ve been doing this for a decade, like social media is so overwhelming. And it’s because it’s designed to be that way, right? They want you to keep checking it over and over and over again. That’s how they make their money, right?

It’s like, I’ve heard that it’s, like, there’s algorithms so that it holds you back likes, and then gives you a bunch all at once, like, which feeds your brain to go, Oh, my God, I gotta go check. I gotta see what’s happening. Nothing’s happening.

Right? Yeah, so I actually even had to do a social media sabbatical recently, because it just got to be too much. So those are the five tools that I use to overcome social media overwhelm, there are tools that, you know, I wasn’t using before the social media sabbatical, but I’m using now. It includes

a Chrome extension to just block your newsfeed.

So if you use Facebook groups for business, I really suggest you do that. And I started using freedom now to and freedom is an app that will block social media for a set amount of time.

Yeah, that’s Oh, so you can’t even log in at all.

At all. Yeah. That’s hardcore. Yeah, but you know, it’s designed to, you know, keep you tracking constantly, right? Yeah,

I have to shut all my notifications off, right. Because otherwise I’m like, oh, like, totally overwhelmed. My, my watch is buzzing, you know, like, everything’s happening.

Yeah, definitely. I mean, like, I don’t, I wouldn’t get anything done if I if I didn’t use tools, right.

Yeah. All right. Awesome. So I’ll link to that everybody can jump on, find out more about you. Head to your website, get in that group. I’m going to jump in there. I think there’s going to be great information in there and then get the freebie so that they can really get a plan for social media and getting some tools. That’s awesome. Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you. We’re here. I really had a lot of fun.

So thanks so much for coming on.

Thanks for spending some time with me today. Remember, you can find me inside my facebook group at SS lB community.com. That stands for start small live big community.com. And as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

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