076: How your brain creates your reality


In today’s episode, I talk about the basic science of what is happening in your brain that creates your reality.  Have you ever wondered if what you think REALLY matters or how that could be so? Have you ever wondered why being in control of your emotions and how living in default could keep you from living the big life you were designed to live?

I break it down simply so you can understand, see how you can shift and work to create a life you want with one simple exercise that will only take you 5 minutes a day.

This episode is great for someone who wants a deeper understanding from the brain perspective on why ‘thoughts become things’ and for someone who wants to change their thought patterns but didn’t understand why it really mattered or how to even begin to change.

If you liked this episode please share it with your friends and subscribe and leave us a review on iTunes!


Welcome to The Art of Living big.

I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. today’s podcast is brought to you by audible. Get a free audio book download and a 30 day free trial at audible trial, comm backslash live big. There’s over 180,000 different

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choose from. And you can listen on your iPhone, your Android, your Kindle, or your mp3 player. Now, here’s the show. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show, I want to give a shout out to the folks that have taken an extra minute out of their day to leave me a review over on iTunes over the past few weeks. I am so grateful. I went over there and saw several new reviews. And

it means

so much to me and so much to the show, because it’s how people find the show. That’s how iTunes determines who will show up in the searches. And it also helps people determine if it’s worth their time to listen. So I want to thank you so much for doing that. And I know it’s a little hard to get in there to iTunes and actually figure out how to review. So I am so grateful high five. for that. Thank you. And I want to thank those of you who have shared not just the ideas or or the lessons that you’ve learned or ideas, maybe you heard, but also to actually share the link to the show. And to give me your endorsement. It means a lot to me. And I’ll continue to work really hard to earn your trust and to provide really good shows with good lessons and hopefully really good ideas for you. All right, so today, I want to talk about you. I want to talk about who you really are, like who you really are. And I want to explain some really high level science on your brain, and how it all works together with your body to create all of the wonderfulness that’s you so right

now, right this minute who you are.

That’s what I want to talk about.

And I also want to talk about how to shift and change not just in, like how you think about situations sort of way. But I really mean and actually changing who you are. Because we’re always changing, we’re always evolving. And that evolving, actually includes your personality, too, and how you view everything that happens to you and everything that happens around you. Now, I’m going to give you some ways to do this. And I think this is going to end up being a two episode or because there’s a lot to cover, just for the basics to understand kind of how this works and why this works in the way that it does. And if you like all this, you know, research, I’ve, there’s so many great teachers out there. But lately, I have been reading some of Dr. Joe dispenza, his work and it’s really interesting and really helpful and right on target with all of this Brain Stuff that I am so interested in. So I think this might be a two parter, just because I want to be able to cover the basics. So you understand why? Because I think when we can understand why it helps us to actually do the thing because it makes sense to us why. And then

I also have some of the

thing for you to do. And so let’s see, maybe we can get it done in one episode. But we might have to break it into two. So let’s just get into it. So. So in the middle of all that, I also want to get into how you can actually start to create the reality you want. From the perspective shift of science, instead of simply how we’ve been talking about it with the law of attraction and Episode 70 and 71. This is going to be the science side of that. So that all kind of comes together. And you can see how those are interconnected in a really beautiful way, and how your body and your mind and all of the things that happen actually helped to create

your reality.

So let me ask you, if you listened to Episode 70, and 71, which were the episodes on the law of attraction, or if you just believe that thoughts become things, answer me that Do you believe that thoughts become things? So do you believe that what you think about affects your reality? So if you’re saying yes, then why did you just get up this morning and start your day without giving another thought to what specific things you wanted to create today that were unusual that were new that were out of the ordinary? And that were wonderful. Why didn’t you wake up today and create a new reality? I mean, explain what I mean. But I heard somebody say this, I forget now who it even was, but I went, Oh my gosh, I didn’t do that. And this was maybe like a year or so ago. And I changed the way I did some things so that I could start to consciously be creative. My reality, and I talk about this a lot with my coaching clients. And I wanted to bring this to you, because I think this could really help you shift for the year ahead. So let’s get into it. Your personality is what creates your personal reality. So if you change your thoughts, your behaviors and your habits, then you would be someone else. Right? Don’t you agree? So if I had totally different habits, if I had totally different thoughts, and I had different behaviors, if I had all of the thoughts, behaviors, and habits, say, of my next door neighbor, then I wouldn’t be me, I would be my next door neighbor. Right? So I am this combination, my personality is my thoughts, my behaviors, my habits. So those thoughts, behaviors and habits are actually created by nerve cells that have been wired to fire together. And that has created who you are. So let me explain that every time you have a thought,

and we’ve talked about this in a previous episode, but

every time you have a thought,

it creates a chemical reaction in your body, that chemical reaction is your emotion, that happens super fast. So you get a thought or a picture in your head creates a chemical reaction, you have an emotion, it all happens so quickly, you don’t even realize it happens. And it’s not something you’re conscious of, typically, right. So in this way, your brain and your body are in constant contact with each other, creating these thoughts, creating these emotions, which are really just nerve impulses. And they’re causing these chemical reactions in your body over and over and over again all day long. So as you go about your day, and you have different emotions, and different things happen, and you have different reactions, it’s just this constant wave of chemical reactions, thoughts and chemical reactions going on over and over and over again in your body. Now, in Episode 71, I talked a little bit about living in default. And I believe that this is living in default, what I have just explained where these chemical reactions happen, you have a thought you have an emotion, this chemical reaction happens, you have an emotion, it’s you, it’s all just happening to you. Right? So it’s having these series of reactions that could happen anytime throughout the day, and then just reacting to them without any belief that any of this is under any of my control, like things just happened, right? A lot of us do this, something goes wrong, and we have a bad day, and we get up and things aren’t going the way we want. And then we’re like pissed off for 30 minutes. And someone’s like, why are you in a bad mood? You’re like, I totally stubbed my toe. And I, you know, I backed up into the mailbox this morning. Okay, so that happened this morning. So why are you in a bad mood right now? So it’s this chemical reaction that’s in my body that’s continuing to create. So I’m having these new thoughts. What does that mean? What is all this meaning continues, continues continues. So the same thing can happen if we have a really great things happen. But what I find with most people when they’re living in default, is that something good will happen, and then they’ll be in a good mood until something bad happens. And then they’ll be in a bad mood until something good happens. And then they’ll be in a good mood, but they’re not in any kind of control over those emotions, right. So they’re not having any control is just as things happen. They have these chemical reactions, and that’s the mood that they’re in. Right. So from hour to hour to hour, it could change. By the time you’re 35 years old, 95% of what you do every day is memorized behaviors, it’s habit. So if you want to change, there’s 5% of you, that’s going to be fighting against the 95% of you, which is habits. It’s the 95% of you, which is these chemical reactions and things that happen. Now, there’s a way to change this, but change has got to be greater than your mind.


So all of these habits and men memorize behaviors and all that’s happening in your mind. So this change has to be bigger than that. It has to be something that could cause that to be disrupted. So what if you were able to control those thoughts and all the chemical reactions that take place? Would it change who you are? Would it help you to be in control? And what if you could pick and choose your reactions? I heard a quote, actually, it was Joe dispenza. That said this. That said, I hope I get it right. But the basics of it was like when you’re having a emotion, when you have something that happens and it’s an emotion, then it creates this memory, right and the memory could make you happy or sad or whatever it is. But the memory without an emotion is called wisdom. And I loved that so much because I believe when we can can be in control of what’s happening is when we can be in control fully of our lives and how, how and what we’re experiencing. So what if you were able to control those thoughts and those chemical reactions that take place? Would it change who you are? Now, I’m not saying you can never have a negative reaction, right? I’m saying that if we have a negative reaction, and we’re conscious of it, so something happens, and you notice those thoughts. And as you notice those new thoughts, you’re able to settle down those circuits in your brain and make your brain fire in a new sequence that creates a different chemical reaction. So now maybe every time I have something happens, I have this chemical reaction that creates anger. But what if I’m able to switch that? So now every time I have this thought, I have a different chemical reaction, that gives me a different emotion. Okay, so same thought, but I’m able to control the chemical reaction. So I’m going to give you an example. This came up in a coaching call this week. And a couple years ago, when I sold my CrossFit gym, and I was just starting my coaching and I was worried about money. You know, I feel really grateful for my husband, who has a great job. So I just want to say that, but it doesn’t mean I don’t worry about that stuff. It didn’t mean I didn’t worry about bills that were coming up, or things that I was responsible for, or even just bills for my business, you know, my website, having this podcast like that all costs money. And I remember having that moment where i, where i was like, Oh, my God, I’m getting so stressed. Because I know I have this bill due in a week. And I’m stressed out about it. And when I was able to calm down my brain, so instead of and this is how I explained it in my coaching call this week, like instead of going, Oh my god, I have this fear, I have this bill that’s due, I’m totally stressed out about money. Instead, when I said, and I love that I’m stressed out about money. Because if I can love that, if I if Why am I stressed out about money? Well, I love that I’m stressed out about money, because what that means is that I care about paying my bills on time. And that’s a really great thing. So when I could switch that, so now when I had the thought, oh my god, I have to pay my bills next week, I’m stressed out, I that would give me a chemical reaction that would give me an emotion of this like fear and anxiety. But when I switched it, I had the same exact thought, oh my god, I have those bills to pay. And next week, I’m so grateful, I love that I care so much about paying my bills on time, like that’s a really good thing that caused a different chemical reaction, that gave me a different emotion.

And so when I created

a new reaction, I was in control of creating a new sequence. And when those neurons and those synapses fire together,

that’s what wires together.

So now I was wiring new synapses together, and new creating these new defaults for myself. And they were a default that I wanted to have, instead of just a default that was happening to

me. So if

something goes wrong, and you choose to stay the same, you decide it’s too hard to be aware and to try and shift. And this seems really big and difficult. So you just keep the same chemical reactions in your brain. And you’ll have some shifts or changes, but they’re not anything you’re actually in control of those experiences, right? Those just kind of happened to you, as you get new reactions, things and, you know, maybe you have some new experiences. But for the most part, you’re always just living in default, never recognizing that you have some sort of control over all of this. So something happens one morning, and you don’t control your emotional reaction. And what do you call that? You call that a mood, right? So I backed up into my mailbox today. So I’m in a mood, well, then it lingers for a little while, right for like a few weeks or months, maybe you’re going through something really hard, like you’re going through a divorce or you lost your job. So now you’re not just in a mood, because now you’ve done this for a while. And those chemical reactions are happening. And those nerves are firing together over and over again causing that same reaction. And then we call that like a temperament. And pretty soon, it’s just your personality. That’s just my personality. Well, it might not have been your personality when you were five, but as your personality now when you’re 35 because you’re stressed out, you didn’t control anything about what you’re thinking. And you allow this to continue to fire to fire to fire and then to create this new personality in this new reality. So if you don’t like something, and how something’s going, it’s important that you understand that it is something you can change. You actually can create your own world. from a scientific point of view, your brain is actually able to change in this way they call it neuroplasticity, the ability for the brain to reorganize itself and restructure itself. So

instead of living by default,

lay in bed for just a minute in the morning.

And imagine something new,

create your new reality. So if you got up this morning, and you just got up and you’re like, went to the bathroom, brush your teeth and fed the dogs or whatever you do, and you and just by default, you’re probably got in the shower, you’re thinking about your day, right? So you were already like projecting ahead, probably bringing in a lot of stressors, things I have to do, I’m running late, I’m recording this and as right before Christmas, so maybe you’ve got this big list, like, what am I going to do? So you’re enhancing all of those synapses that are firing, firing, firing together and creating this sort of whirlwind of activity in your brain? So what would happen if you laid there for a minute, or even if as you got going instead, instead of having this moment where you’re just starting to worry and think about the things in the future, what have you

got, where you’re like today,

these are the things that are going to happen? And how can I make each


of my day, wildly amazing. And I mean, wildly amazing. And I’m going to tell you why. I’m going to explain why this matters. So the other day, I went to go, I did this the other morning, I tried to do this every morning, and it’s almost becoming a habit. But I went I had I was going to get my hair done. And so in my day, I thought, like, well, these are the things I’m going to do today. This is what I have to do when I go to get my haircut. What if, like, she knows someone that needs a coach, and she’s like, Oh my god, I have these people that need a coach and I want to give you give them your information. But then that didn’t seem crazy enough. So I’m like, What if one of her clients works for the TV station? And then do you see what I’m saying? Like how I could get bigger and bigger and bigger. Now I’m gonna you’re you’re right now you’re going oh, my God, Betsy, is here just like dreaming like a bunch of far fetched crap. I’m going to tell you why, scientifically, why this matters. All right, are you ready? I want you to imagine your brain, you know, like, you’re probably thinking like, you know, the emoji, like the walnut looking thing. Right? You got that. So that is your neocortex. That’s your analytical brain. It’s where you store stuff that you’ve learned. And like as you’re learning it. So like, as you’re listening to this podcast, your wellness is actually physically changing. So if I put you in an MRI machine, and I looked at your brain, I would actually see differences before you learned. And after you learned, there are new synapses and nerve connections being made as you learn and experience new things. So now, let’s say today you listen in, and then you start to change your behavior based on what I said, Now, that’s going to strengthen those connections. So your brain is going to go Oh, that’s not just something we’ve heard. That’s actually something we’re doing. Oh, okay. So that’s, we got to get, we got to get better at that we got to make that stronger. I want to make sure that comes up. And I go into this so much in the infinite soul project, but it’s a it’s almost like a pulling system where my brain is like, what, what’s what comes to the top. So now it’s saying, wait, now we’re doing this. So this needs to be on the top of my mind, like, I’m going to rank this higher. When I get up in the morning, I want to make sure I, I throw this out to her. So she remembers that she’s doing this right, because this is ranking higher, this must be important. And then what if you share what you learned with somebody else, you explain it yourself? Well, now that changes the connections to that makes it way stronger. So think about it tomorrow in the shower, and it’ll make the connection stronger. Now, when your behavior is changing, now, this has got starting to affect your limbic brain. So we were in the walnut. But now when your behavior starts changing, that starts affecting your limbic brain, if you want to change you have, you have the intention to change, which is the walnut and then you have the behavior that matches that intention, and it starts to wire together in the limbic brain. And then you’ll start to change the chemical reaction in your body. Remember, a thought will create a chemical reaction in your body. So if you have something you want to change, and then you do the change, you create a chemical reaction. It feels successful and that starts training your body chemically to keep doing that. thing. And when you can train your body to match your mind, that’s what we call being aligned. And you can get really good at this if you’re repetitive. So your brain likes repetition. So remember, I talked about the ranking system, what I’m going to bring up higher in your brain, if you’re more repetitive that’s going to add to bringing this up higher in your brain. I meditate every day. But I have not meditated today. And I, it’s overwhelming how many times I’ve thought you should meditate, you should meditate. It’s because my brain ranks It’s so high. And, and I’ve been doing it for years. So the repetition is there. So my brain ranks is super high. So because I haven’t done it, my brain is really like annoyed from this is what we do every day. And this is how we stay safe, right? This is how I don’t get eaten by a lion or whatever my brain thinks. So I continues to bring it up for me. So to get really good at this be repetitive. And then you begin to create networks of neurons

that you can activate on command, and you can align your thoughts and your body will eventually start to activate another part of your brain called the cerebellum. So that’s where it’s automatic. That’s your reptilian brain that’s like subconscious. That’s where stuff happens in your own even know what’s happening. So this is why you can drive to work and not think about where you’re going. Because it’s automatic, it’s in your reptilian brain, you’ve done it so many times, it’s been so repetitive, that you just start doing it. So like I said, I go into this a whole lot more in the infinite soul project. But that is where mastery is that’s where you can start to change who you are. So it goes from your neocortex to your limbic brain to your cerebellum. So let’s go back to you waking up in the morning and thinking of some outlandishly amazing future for yourself, your brain does not know if you’re actually experiencing this. Or if you’re just thinking about it. So that whole neocortex to limbic brain to cerebellum is, it does not matter if you’re physically doing it, it matters that you’re thinking it. So you start to think about doing something new. Like for me speaking in front of a huge group getting in really good shape, maybe it’s for you like hitting a basketball net with perfection, you know, there’s been so many studies, you’ve probably heard them of people that just simply practiced doing the thing, instead of actually doing the thing, the chemical reactions take place in your body regardless, and it moves through those stages. So now, your body is in a habit of creating a state in your body, that is one of someone who does the thing that you’ve been practicing. And once that happens, once that happens, where I’ve been thinking about doing the thing, and my body has created the state of doing the thing, I’ve repeated it so many times in my head that now it’s in my cerebellum, which is my reptilian brain, which is just automatic, I don’t even have to think about it. I get up in the morning, and I think about speaking in front of a huge, huge crowd and how great that would be and what that would feel like, and now I’m totally in it, my body thinks I’ve done it. And once I do that, once that happens, you have no choice, but to bring that thing into your existence. Did you hear what I said. So if your mind and your body are there, the experience will find you to wake up and dream. Get in the shower, but dream, don’t turn on your cell phone, don’t turn on your computer, wait, wait until you’ve created the life in the day that you really want to have. So wait until you’ve thought about all the different things you could do and be and have, and all the amazingness that could happen and what could be perfect. And you could go to work. And you’d get a raise and your boss would say how great you are. Why not? Why not think of some amazing things start to create the reality that you want, you’ll get better and better and better and better and better at this. You know, I’ve talked before about the vision boards and vision boards, I think are great. But the thing that the secret doesn’t tell you is that you have to get into it into it mentally. So that you’re rehearsing and you’re creating the chemical reaction. If you’re just looking at the picture, you’re not creating the chemical reaction, and it’s not moving through those stages and creating the actual chemical being of having the thing. So you’ve probably been living in this Newtonian model of your life, which is one where we think that everything happens and then we react. It’s the matter like the physical side of life. The quantum level is working with energy and with sub particles. It’s the change in our body that’s smaller than an atom. So Newtonian is atom and bigger and quantum level is atom and smaller.

So when you can understand this, it makes it so much easier to understand how quantum physics is really how your thoughts become things, and you can create the reality that you want for your life. So is imagining, and really getting into that vision boarding in the right way is really the way that we can get started with that. I hope that that was helpful for you, I hope that that helped sort of break down and give a greater understanding of how the science and what happens in your brain actually helps to create the reality that you have. So it’s not a fluke. It’s not, whoo, whoo. It’s real. It’s science. And if you don’t like your life right now, if there is something about your life that you don’t like right now, absolutely, you can change it. And this would be a really great step. This imagining, some people call it visualization. And I don’t like that, I call it imagining, because that’s really where what it is. And we know from Little kids how fun it is to imagine, one of my favorite parts of my whole day is when I go to bed at night. And when I wake up in the morning, when I go to bed at night, if for some reason that feels really fun to me, and it helps me fall asleep, as I just imagine, all the amazing things that are going to happen. That can be like a really fun practice. And if it’s fun, and you enjoy it, that will trigger your brain to rank it higher to all of the things you’re imagining will get ranked higher and higher. And that whole process will become solidified so much more in your brain. Now, if you’d like to jump on the phone with me, and I can help you and I can kind of help you walk through this, create some different things that you’d like to imagine, sometimes talking through it with somebody to get specific and to really dig into this can really help. And I can give you some other tools and tricks too. Now, I do offer the one on one coaching. But the first step to that and something I offer for free is just to jump on the phone with me, we can talk for a little bit, I can explain how coaching works. But we also may be able to shift something or I can give you some good ideas while we’re actually talking. So I’m taking some new clients for 2018. And if you go to my website and you go to Betsy Pake calm and you go all the way to the bottom, there’s an orange button that says schedule now, you just click on that button, and it’ll actually put you right on my calendar. So it’s easy peasy. We don’t have to like go back and forth on an email, trying to figure it out. So you just pick a time that works for you. And you’ll have access to to change or confirm or do whatever you need to do after that. So I hope to get to talk to you, I would love to be able to talk to you. I love talking about this stuff and being able to help people and to really be able to help you shift because there’s so so so much greatness for you. And I believe that 2018 can be a really, really incredible year, especially for all of my listeners because we’re learning new things and we’re beginning to put some change in some effort into creating that reality we want because really, when it comes down to it, you deserve to live a big life. Thanks for listening. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Remember, you can find me inside my facebook group at SS lB community.com that stands for start small live big community.com. And as always,

here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.