078: Things You Need to Know Before 2018 - Betsy Pake

078: Things You Need to Know Before 2018

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PODCAST

In this episode, I share with you seven things you need to know before 2018. It’s my list of things I’d like to tell you as you get started on this next journey around the sun.  As a bonus, I also announce the first book for 2018’s Book Club!  Yay!  Here’s a link to buy the book The Four Agreements.

This episode is great for anyone who is heading into 2018! It’s for anyone who wants a fresh perspective on accomplishments and how to push through while rolling with the contrast. 

If you liked this episode, I’d be honored if you’d share it (there are social media buttons right up top!) 

Thanks for listening and happy new year!

Transcript:

Welcome to the art of living day. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. today’s podcast is brought to you by audible, you can get a free audiobook download and a 30 day free trial at audible trial, comm backslash live big, there’s over 180,000 different titles to choose from. And you can listen to them on your iPhone or your Android or your Kindle. Now the cool thing about this is that that 30 day free trial, so you get the free audio book, but the 30 day free trial gives you a discount on all the other audiobooks.

So even if you cancel it, and you don’t keep the membership, you could get

a whole bunch of audiobooks on your list for 2018 by using your discount with your 30 day free trial. Now, here’s the show. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. This is the last episode of 2017, which is like both exciting and like a little bit sad. I feel like this year has been such a crazy, tremendous year of growth, and so many good things, and so much contrast. And I’m just, I guess I’m like filled with gratitude, really, we had some really incredible guests this year, and just so much great stuff. And so with all of that, knowing that so many good things can happen. I’m looking forward to 2018. But I wanted to share with you seven things that I think you should remind yourself of seven things you need to know, before you head into 2018 Are you ready, this is a list in no particular order. But my first thing that you need to know before you go into 2018 is that you don’t have to be perfect. I think that with the new year, it sets us up on this. Like, you know, with the resolutions and the high intensity of like, I’m going to change things I’m going to make things different this year is going to be different this year is going to be better, all of that puts a lot of pressure on us to be perfect, and to not screw up. And what I think that actually does is limits us from really becoming everything we can become. Because to grow and change, we have to take risks. And when we take risks, we screw up. And so you don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to get it right, the first to the second, you don’t even have to get it right the third time, you just have to keep trying new ways. So keep that in mind when things don’t go the way you want. And it’s January 3, and you think oh my gosh, I was so excited about doing this thing, or I was so excited about this change. Just know that you don’t have to be perfect, it’s okay, it’s a marathon, just keep running, just keep going. Now, the number two thing you need to get to know before heading into 2018 is that things can be in pencil, you know, you can change your mind. I think so many times we set and I know for me, I would set this like huge list of resolutions and how I was going to live my life. And it would be very structured because I’m a list maker, and I like goals and achievement and all of these things. And so then when I would get down the path, like a few weeks or even a few months, and then I would start to notice, you know, that goal I had for myself, it isn’t really the same goal that I thought, I feel like I want something a little bit differently, or I want to shift that a little bit. And then I feel like we have this constriction around that because we think Oh my God, if I’m changing it, that I’m changing my goal, which means I didn’t achieve the goal Am I copping out. And I just want to give you the permission to have some of these things be in pencil, it may be that you decide you want to run a half marathon this year. And it may be in August, you realize you could run a full marathon. And so you change the goal. It could be that you want to lose 50 pounds. And in August, you realize that you’ve only lost 20 pounds. And so you change the goal to 30 pounds. Now I know a lot of people would go don’t change the goal. Don’t change the goal. Maybe it’s that you decide you don’t want to lose any weight. Maybe in August, you decide you want to really learn to love yourself the way you are And see what comes of that. Maybe you decide

I’m going to push forward. I’m going to

go for it. I’ve only lost 20 pounds, but I can still meet my goal. But instead of doing it the way I’ve been doing it I’m going to change and I’m going to do this no matter what there’s no right or wrong. I’m just giving you permission to To change your mind, because you’re going to learn and grow and change, and become somebody different. And when you become somebody different, then you will see things differently. So things can be in pencil, you can rearrange, you can change, this is your life. And so do what’s bringing you joy and making you happy and making you feel successful. And if maybe you’re hard charging, you’re like, I’m gonna write a book. You know, I had the goal,

I get, I guess it was,

no, it was two years ago to finish to write start small

of big, and I wanted to write it in 30 days. And it didn’t take me 30 days, it took me like 45 days, it took me like about six weeks of working on it every single day for a long time. And things were just in pencil, when I got close to the 30 day mark, I didn’t think oh my god, I’m such a loser. I can’t believe that. I just thought like, wow, I’m way closer than I was when I when I started. And I’ll just keep going and see where this takes me. So keep it in pencil, you don’t have to be perfect. And the third thing you need to know before 2018 is that when you get to the end of next year, if you’ve changed at all, then you’re growing. And really isn’t that why we set these goals? Isn’t that why we set resolutions or isn’t that why we think of this newness with the new year is because we want to grow, I think we have in our nature. That’s how we feel best. And that’s how we feel joy is when we are growing and learning and changing. And so understand that when you are not perfect when you are taking leaps. And when you’re failing. That’s actually what’s turning you into the person who is different at this same exact time next year. So having things be in pencil having you change your mind having you not be perfect and having you fail, the second, the third the fourth time, that’s actually all part of the journey to get you to become the person that you need to be to have grown and changed and be able to do something new. Now. I look at some things in my life and some goals, I had a bunch of goals this year that I did not hit. But to me it was in pencil, other things came up some things some other challenges, personally, and I wanted to focus on them, instead, I made the choice. It was in pencil, it was okay. It helped me to become who I needed to become. And I realized now looking back, that I feel so different as a human being right now than I did a year ago. And that the goals I had a year ago, are very similar to some

of the things I have now.

But I’m so much closer because I am getting becoming the person who could actually achieve those things. I didn’t realize last year how far away I was from being the person who could achieve the things I wanted to achieve. So even though from the outside, maybe it looks like I got off kilter, or maybe from the outside, it looks like I wasn’t perfect, or I failed, or whatever that is inside, I know that actually all of those things were helping me to become the person that I needed to become in order to eventually hit those goals.

So

that would be the third thing that you need to know is that you are going to become a different person on the journey as you go along. Now, the fourth thing that you need to know before 2018 is to be open to something that you don’t expect. So many times we have, like goals. And I know for me, like I focus so much on gratitude and manifesting, you know, the law of attraction and bringing the things that I want into my space and, you know, paying attention to what’s in my grid, you know, what I what is close to me what my thoughts are all of those things. And I think all of those things are amazing. And I also find things rarely work out in the way that I think they will. And when I look back, it all worked out perfectly.

You know, one of my things last year

was I wanted to be speaking regularly. And when I set up my goals for 2017 that was something that was on my plan. And I mean, I had like a map out of how many speaking gigs I was going to get and what my topics were going to be focused on and who I was going to reach out to and all of these things. And February, March, April, I had a lot of speaking gigs things seem to really be going in the direction that I want. And then things got kind of clogged up. I’m not totally sure what happened. It just I mean things chill out with speaking in the summer. And then by the time and and I was starting to feel really frustrated about that in September, even. Yeah, like August, September, getting really frustrated. And then Some things really kicked in with my daughter. And if you’ve heard my episode earlier, I think it was like Episode 75, maybe 76, about about, you know, pushing through struggles, I realized now that if my speaking business had taken off like I wanted, I would have been traveling all over, I would have been speaking all over which is another like kind of layer of a time of is of the essence kind of pressure. And, and I would have been gone, right because I would have been speaking and traveling and, and I would not have been able to help my daughter in the way that I could, because I was home. And so when I look back, I’m like, wow, that did not happen in the way that I expect. But it happened so beautifully. Because I got some exposure with my speaking. You know, I got to help some people with coaching because they found me through speaking, I got exposure to that I understand a little bit better about what that entails, what it would be like, and it didn’t go the way I wanted. So I was able to do what I needed for my kiddos. So everything worked out perfectly. And I learned a whole bunch. And so now as things happen, I sort of relax a little bit into that because I say, you know what, this isn’t going the way that I wanted, there something else is trying to come out of this. So that brings me to number five. Number five, the fifth thing that you need to know before 2018

is to get really

excited about things that arise that seem bad. So things that seemed like issues. So when things weren’t going with the speaking in the way that I wanted, you know, instead I could have Looking back, I could have thought you know what, this is really great, because there’s something else that’s coming, there’s something else that’s better that I need to do now. Or if you’re having an issue, you know, sometimes I’ll have an issue with that with my husband or with my kid, you know, where we, we don’t connect, we’re not communicating, right? Where they say something, right? They like gets under your skin. And I’m like, oh man that really bugged me. And I’ve been really working on this, and I have found it to work so profoundly well, is to get super excited about it like yay, oh, something that really bugged me, that makes me so happy. You know that you just said something that totally gets under my skin. Now, I don’t actually say that out loud, because that would probably get under their skin. But I do think to myself, like, oh, what’s trying to emerge out of me? What is like what is stuck in my craw that’s probably been in there that that’s poking it, and how can I dig it out? Because when I can dig it out, I become lighter and lighter and freer and freer. So ask yourself, when something happens and the issue comes up, get super excited about that, and ask yourself what’s trying to emerge out of this for me? So what if everything was working in totally perfect harmony, to teach you what you needed to learn for the next big thing. But we constantly push it away? We think like that they just bugged me, I’m gonna let it go. Or that just that got under my skin? I’m just going to avoid that person. And that’s all well and good. But what are you pushing away? What could you be learning that would cause you to transform, so that next year at this time, you’ve grown and learned and changed, and you’re the kind of person that can do something different? The person you are right, this very moment, as you’re listening to this is the person that’s able to do and have and, and become all of the things that you already have in your life? Right? Would you agree with that. So everything that you have in your life is it fits who you are. And if you want to have different things become somebody different, right? So if I want to have different relationships, I have to shift the way I deal with relationships, I have to shift who I am. If I want to have a different career, if I want to change if I want to uplevel I got to change who I am, because who I am, is the person that has what I have. So get really excited about issues that arise. Ask yourself what’s trying to emerge out of this for me, don’t push it aside. Use it as a way so that you can grow and become somebody different by next year. All right, the sixth thing you need to know before 2018 is to remind yourself of how many good things you’ve done. You’ve already accomplished so many amazing things. Our brains are on repeat. And so many times we forget we don’t celebrate all of the good stuff. So celebrate you know if you want to be on a diet and that’s your goal for 2018 or, or to be healthier. I use diet just because that’s seems to be a typical one but You know, if it’s just to be healthier, you know, and you’ve been healthy for a week, celebrate that, celebrate the good stuff that you’ve done, reinforce that in your brain. You know, your brain is biologically designed to tell your body what to do. And so if you’re constantly telling your body Oh my God, I suck at this is so bad, my thighs are so fat, like, your, your body is designed to listen to your brain, to start telling your brain all the good stuff you’ve done, celebrate all of the good things that you are doing, and remind yourself of the good things you have done, even if it’s unrelated. Make a list make like a greatest hits list. I have a folder on my computer, that anytime somebody sends me something where they say, Oh, my gosh, Betsy, I listened to this podcast. And it meant so much to me, or I read this blog post, and it shifted how I thought about I mean, anytime anybody says anything nice to me, I save it, I save it in a greatest hits folder. And I will go back, if I’m struggling, I’ll go back through and read it a lot. I’ll read them a lot. Because sometimes you need somebody else to believe in you, so that you can believe in yourself. So

just think through that. Think about what kind of greatest hits you have. Maybe it’s like an award you got in grade school, I don’t care, that count that totally counts. You know, maybe it’s, you know, something, somebody really, somebody said something really nice about you, like, make a list, start a journal where you write down stuff, bombard yourself with good things. And so many times we think, well, I don’t want to be, I really don’t want to be like, I want to be humble, right? There’s this humble thing. Like, I don’t want to, I don’t want to think about all the good stuff I’ve done. That seems like narcissistic, or whatever. No, no, why is being good or bad? It’s remind yourself of the good that you are. I think that that’s so so important. All right. Enough about that. All right, number seven, things you need to know before 2018. Number seven, is watch when you compare yourself to others. You’re enough. But I, I will guarantee that at one point, or another you’ve gotten on Facebook, or you’ve gotten on Instagram, I know I have. And I thought like, Oh my gosh, they’re moving so much faster than me. They’re doing so much more than me. Why do they seem like they have it all together? Oh, if I had that? Well, yeah. But they have, you know, whatever it is, I don’t compare yourself. And maybe that’s like controlling your mind. When you head into all kinds of social media, you know, maybe you set a timer, like truly so that you don’t go down the rabbit hole. I was in meditation yesterday. And I kept hearing, like, get off social media, like through the new year. And I have not done it yet. But I’ve really thought about it. And I thought I can’t really do that. Like, you know, some of my clients are on, you know, I just, you know, there was a million reasons. But I think there’s something trying to emerge out of that for me. And so I bring that to you as maybe something to examine for yourself, maybe it doesn’t bother you at all, I don’t know, I’m just saying Watch. Watch yourself, where you’re comparing yourself to others. And then go back to my tip number six, and remind yourself of how many good things you’ve already done, Ben and accomplished. So just check and see what’s limiting you from becoming the person that you need to be. Alright, and now I have a bonus because I like bonuses. Alright, so the eighth thing you need to know before 2018 is the book club pick of the month for January. All right, so you heard me talk in a previous episode about how I want to have a book club. Now, I hope you guys get involved in this. I think it’s gonna be really fun. And I have some really, really good books on the list. I picked a really, really good book for January. That is a classic. It’s sure, like literally, you could read it on a Sunday afternoon because I want everybody getting started. And I know that January can be hectic. And if you don’t start then you’re like, I’m not really in it. But I want you in it. So the first book for January 2018 is called the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. Now, this book is it’s so great. I’ve read it several times. But I’m going to read it again in January because I think it’s a really great one to start the year with. Its Four Agreements. It’s about four things that you need to know, to live a better life to live a different life. They are listed on the back of the book, but I don’t want to ruin it. I want you to get this book and check it out. It’s such a great little book. It’s not very expensive. It’s like 10 or 11 bucks on Amazon. I’ll put a link to it in the show notes. But it’s got four things to remember and these four things have have literally changed the way I see my Life. And so, you know, not a very big book, let me just see 129 pages, but it’s small hundred 40 pages, but it’s tiny. So you’re gonna love it. It’s a practical guide to personal freedom is the subtitle. So,

So join me

join me in the book club this year, let me know jump into the group on Facebook, the free Facebook group, which I may or may not be there until January 1, but jump in

there.

It is at SS lB community.com that’s where you can find us and let me know if you’re gonna get this book. If you’ve ever read it. I’m super curious and would love to know your thoughts.

So thanks so much for listening.

I hope you guys have an amazing new year’s I can’t wait to do 2018 with you. I know there’s going to be some really great things ahead for us. And don’t forget, you deserve to live a big life. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Remember, you can find me inside my facebook group at SS lB community.com as stands for start

small live big

community.com. And as always,

here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

HI, I'M YOUR HOST

Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs

*Optimist

*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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