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In today’s episode, I answer your questions about regaining weight, hating your job and not knowing what else to do, meditation and squashing limiting beliefs.
I share part of The Process that I use when I work with my one on one clients to help you get clarity.
This episode is great for anyone who has listened to the show and has questions or anyone who is on a journey of changing their life but feels stuck or scared.
Thanks for listening and sharing with your friends!
Todays Photo by Adair Cates
Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. All right, so today we’re going to do a q&a. So these are some questions that I picked out of a group of questions that I got through social media and some in my email. And they sort of reflect a greater kind of vibe of questions. So I may be picking if I didn’t pick your question. Hopefully, I’m answering it with one of the other questions. And if not, then I’ll get to it next time. So I do keep sort of a running list. So we’ll have some more for next time. So all right, so let’s, let’s just get into it. Because these are some good juicy ones. I feel like these are some good juicy ones. All right. So the first one is actually pretty simple. And I really liked it. Because I think this is something that comes up a lot with people. And I hear it a lot in my one on one coaching clients, too. So the question is, I hate to meditate. And I see all the benefits. And I see you posting about the intuition that you’re hearing when you meditate. So how can I enjoy it more? So my question is, how can I enjoy it more? So, you know, this is, so don’t meditate.
That’s my answer is don’t meditate.
don’t meditate. It’s if it if it is not, you know, I talk a lot on the show about alignment and feeling like you’re in a space of happiness and joy, and that is the best place to be able to move forward, right? That is the best place to be able to take action on things. But if
you are pushing,
if you’re deciding, I’ve got to meditate, anytime you hear the word should I should meditate, I should work out, I should eat better.
Don’t do it.
So maybe your workout has to be something different. Maybe your food has to be a different kind of food, so that you’re not shooting on it. And maybe your meditation has to be a different kind of mindfulness activity. So meditation is not the only way to listen to your intuition. It’s not the only way to calm your mind. It’s not the only way to do all these things. And so sometimes I think that in meditation, we, when we think about meditation, we think this has to be like a structured time where I’m sitting on a cushion. And I’m sitting upright, you know, many of the guided meditations will say, like, sit upright, like I don’t sit up, right, I lay down, because that’s what I’m comfortable. That’s when I can most leave my body and my senses. For me, sitting upright, does not work if I’m doing like an intense meditation. So maybe having this structured meditation isn’t for you, maybe there’s a different kind of meditation, you could try, maybe you could try being in a different position, you could try a guided meditation, you could buy, you could try a hypnotic NLP based meditation, maybe that would feel different for for you. But also, maybe you just shut off the TV, and you shut off the radio. And when you’re prepping dinner,
you’re just in the moment,
maybe you’re just chopping, like that can be a meditative activity. Maybe when you’re folding laundry, you’re just folding the laundry. I hope that makes sense. So it’s not that you have to be doing some structured activity, which is meditation, in order to listen to your intuition or be mindful, you could do that in lots of different activities. And in fact, our brains go in and out of trance all day long. And that’s how your brain rests, you know, when you’re daydreaming, or have you ever driven to work, and then you don’t really know how you got to work, right? So you’re moving in and out of a trance like state throughout the day all day long. So maybe if you kind of get a little trancy when you are folding laundry, then that’s what you do. And you just see what like, if you can hear your intuition if you can hear another voice. Maybe you set an intention before you do you fold the laundry, you know, I would really like clarity on this. And then while you’re folding laundry, just listen and see if anything comes up. So don’t make this too hard. All this is is really just you paying attention to yourself. There’s a lot of noise in our life and a lot of things happening around us limit the things around us and just be present. That’s really all all it is. So I hope that that helps you. Alright. I have lost and gained the same five pounds. Okay. 10 for years, I can’t figure out why. And I I can’t figure out why I keep gaining it back. I have changed my eating habits but nothing seems to matter. So here’s what I really think is that we have a mindset of who we are. Now if I ask you right now like who are you? You might say like I am a mom, I am a wife. I am a single woman. I am a city dweller, I am like an athlete
I am whatever those things are for you.
The simplest way for me to answer this is that you tried to change who you were, you then became a person that was 10 pounds thinner, but you did not change your I Am, you did not become somebody different. And when you have not become somebody different than you’re going to be the same person that you are. And the same person, we’re who you are as the person that was 10 pounds heavier. This is why people that win the lottery. I mean, it’s like 74% of the people that win the lottery, lose all their money, it’s because they’re I am, who they are, is the same and their threshold for success or abundance, or wait for you, your threshold is different. So what you really need to do
all of those things, focus on the eating healthy, and maybe it’s eating a different way of healthy, like, maybe it’s really just eating things that are really yummy to you. And then you stop as soon as you’re feeling full instead of just continuing to eat because it’s quote unquote, healthy food, like maybe it is that you’re working out in a different way. Because maybe what the workout you do right now feels forced. And so maybe you find a new way to work out or move your body, like whatever that is. But in the end, you need to change your I am you need to change who you actually think you are. Because the only way to stop bringing in your past is to stop being the person you were in the past. And that’s how you’ll change and move forward. So when I used to work exclusively with weight loss clients, and now when I work with them, with people that want to lose weight, it’s always packed in with a whole lot of stuff around your mind, right? Because really, what you need to do is decide who is the person that weighs 10 pounds less? Like Who are they? They’re not who you are right now. So Who are they? Are they an athlete? I’ll tell you about three years ago, I competed in the Pan Am’s and I thought of myself as an athlete, I mean, I was in my 40s, I am in my 40s, I thought of myself as an athlete, I changed the way I thought about myself, my weight went way down, I competed, I won a medal, like I was an athlete, I am an athlete. And now I don’t necessarily think of myself, I think of myself as a lot of things, but I don’t think athlete is one of them. And maybe that’s something I need to shift so that I could start to see different results in that area. But I want you to just think just today, just brainstorm and write it down. What am I, I am what and write that down. And then when you start to see the pattern of what it is you need to shift, then you can start to make shifts. And that can be simply deciding that oh, I am a person who is abundant. I am a person who is an athlete, I am a person that likes to move, I am the kind of person that eats really healthy, I’m the kind of person who seeks out, like all healthy, like habits, I’m the kind of person that has really healthy nighttime ritual so that I sleep really good. And sleep is a really important part of my health, like, start to determine where you can start to shift those because when I mean when I see this question, that’s the thing. It’s not the
of how much you’re eating or how much you’re not eating. It’s not the dynamics of how much you’re exercising or not exercising, it’s really the dynamic of your subconscious belief about what you really think you are. And when you know who you are and what you’re really worth, then your outsides will rise to meet that. And so right now you just think you’re worth being this 10 pounds, that’s who you are this 10 pound heavier person. So that’s what I would do with that. Alright, so all right, Oh, this one I love. Okay, so I hear this, this is something that comes up a lot. So I’m stuck in my job and I dread going to work every day. But I have no idea what I’d rather do. Like no idea. Where do I start? How do I begin? So this is so interesting, because I’m going to just say, I’m going to say you actually probably do No, but you’re just not letting yourself notice it. You’re just not letting yourself realize what it is. So if you’re stuck in your job, and you’re dreading going to work, let that be okay. I know that sounds so weird, right? But I’m, it’s okay that I’m stuck in my job and dreading going to work. I’m, it’s I’m safe, it’s okay. And then find a few things that you’re I’m going to give you part of my process here. So don’t just hang with me, but try to find some things that you actually do like about it. So I guarantee there’s something you like about it, and maybe it’s just getting a paycheck, but you do like that. So I would be bringing that into your existence a little bit more. But the real the real question about this question I think is how do I know what it is I’d rather do. And when I work with my clients, I have something that I call the process. And part of the process is getting super clear on what it feels like, when you are doing the thing you want to do. So I know right now you have no idea what you’d rather do. That’s okay, how do you want to feel when you’re doing the thing. If you’ve ever been on a cruise ship, you’re out in the middle of the ocean, all you can see is ocean, it’s almost unnerving. If you go up to one of the decks, and you look out, and all you see is ocean like, like all around you. And you’ll notice that if you know one morning, you’re know you’re going into a port, so you’re going to be going into an island and the ship is gonna pour and you’re gonna be able to get off and dock and, and go on excursions or whatever you’re gonna do. But when you go up to the deck, if you get up early enough, and you get your coffee, and you sit on a chair, and you still can only see ocean, but you start to see the birds, you’ll start to hear the birds, and then you’ll start to see the birds. And so you’re sitting there on the deck, and you’re like, I still don’t see the island, but I know we’re close because I see the birds.
that is part of my process is to find the birds. So get super clear on what it feels like when you’ve come to the island. What does that feel like for you? Like, does it feel like what do you like, you know, maybe it feels like, busy and
like you’re running around doing different things like very active,
maybe for you, it feels really calming, like I know, I’m gonna be in a really calm space, I don’t know, what I want to do. This is where we get hung up is that we think we have to know how, and you do not have to know how this is going to happen for you. You just have to know what it feels like when you hit the island. So for me, being on the island feels adventurous, it feels joyful. I feel calm and peaceful. So those are sort of the things that I want. And so every day, I imagine so that’s part of my process is imagining it’s an imagination process that I walk my clients through where you’re actually in, it’s a specific way that I do it, but you’re getting into the feeling of what it feels like to be on the island. Okay, so now you’ve you know what the feeling like is to be on the island. Now you just have to look for birds. So now you’re going to that dreadful job that you hate, but instead of focusing on the dread, all you’re doing is looking for birds? What kinds of things do I like? What kind of piques my interest? What’s happening? Does somebody say something that makes me go, Oh, that’s cool. Maybe has nothing to do the work I’m doing now. But someone’s talking in the lunchroom. Maybe I’m looking up something on the internet, and I see something else that makes me go, Ooh, that’s interesting to me. It does not mean that’s the thing you’re gonna do. But it means that it’s a bird, it is a tip, it is something meaning you’re getting closer to the island. So one of the biggest mistakes we make is that we think we have to have this plan, we have to have it laid out. I don’t
I don’t know what my path looks like to the island. How about that? I don’t know, I know what it feels like on my island. And I get little birds every day all day long. And I take action on the birds. So I wanted to do a podcast because I wanted to be able to speak and reach people and share my thoughts. And so I got the bird that that would be fun to do. And so I started to do it. So it it is getting me closer and closer. And everyday. I’m doing little things that feel like the islands when I have my coaching clients. It feels like the island it feels peaceful and fun and adventurous because I’m getting to adventure into somebody else’s life and see things in a totally different way. And when I can explain to them or see things that they never even notice before. And it’s this huge aha moment. Like it’s an incredible thing. And so I followed the birds to get there. So when you’re hating your job, and you’re sick of your job and you hate and you dread going to work, do some imagining about what it would be like to be at the island, what does it feel like, then look for birds that bring up that feeling? That’s all you got to do. So give yourself a time limit sometimes our brains like that, and say, You know what, for 30 days, I’m not gonna worry about how I’m not gonna harp on how much I hate this job. I’m just going to know that in 30 days, it’s going to become clear what I’m supposed to be doing. And all I’m going to do is look for the birds. And when I say the birds, I’m going to follow the bird. Does that make sense? So try that. I’d love to see how that turns out for you. And like if it starts to shift things, because 30 days, I promise you if you’re looking for the birds, you’ll notice things that you’ve never ever noticed before. And you’ll have contrast you never had before and you’ll have clarity that you never had before to all right. So okay, last question. I loved the episode. sewed on money. Thank you. I’m so glad you liked that. And it gave me a lot to consider. I’ve known that I’ve got limiting beliefs, because things aren’t the way I want them to be in my life, especially around money. How can I erase those beliefs? So yes, yay. And good, because actually becoming aware that you have the limiting beliefs is huge. So many times when I talk to people, they don’t even want to recognize that they have a limiting belief, they think it’s just a pattern or something that they’re actually doing physically an action that they’re taking. But we are taking our actions and the energy behind the actions are coming from those belief systems. And if you can’t uncover the belief system that’s holding you back, you know, you’re right. Like, you’re gonna just like the I am with the first question like, it’s always going to be coming back to the beliefs running the show the beliefs about who you really are, what you’re worth. So how can you erase these beliefs? I mean, there’s several different ways you can you can get a coach that can help you walk through it, and hypnotize, I use a lot of hypnosis and relaxation techniques in my coaching, so you could do that you could do that on your own, you could find like a really good meditation or hypnosis session, or they look for one maybe with NLP, I think that would probably be the most helpful, and see if that can help you start to uncover and shift. Also, just watch your words. So that’s one of the things that I notice a lot when I’m working with my clients is just I, they’ll say something, and I’ll go, oh, like, that will be the thing I can cling on to and then we can dig into that because your words are going to show you things. Now if you don’t know. If you’re like, I don’t know, I don’t notice anything about my words, or I don’t think I have any patterns. Ask people that are closest to you. Do you notice my patterns? I have any I guarantee you people around you will say yeah, you always say you got to work hard for the money. Or you always say I’m not good enough for that, or whatever it is, there will be something that you say, and maybe here’s one that I really hate. As when people go squirrel, I got add, like, stop, that is such a you are perpetuating a limiting belief. I know it’s funny, it was funny the first time, let it go. Don’t say that again. Because what you’re doing is you’re telling your brain, I don’t focus on things, I can’t keep my attention. I am not the kind of person I am not the kind of person who can do that. So drop that
straw, try to find other places where you’re doing that same exact thing. Because I guarantee you there are clues in your words and your thoughts that will help you to identify once you identify them, then you can start to break them down. And you can do that like a number of different ways. But one of them is with hypnotherapy or with a good coach or working through those on your own just by trying to shift your words. But I do think if you can dive into the subconscious a little bit and start to shift things that that is going to be your quickest way to start to make those shifts. So I know you can do it. I know you can find those. I bet you’ll find several today. The power of suggestion. Just keep your eyes peeled. I bet you’ll see them. So I hope that those questions helped you today. Thank you so much for everybody that submitted questions. I’ll get back to the rest of them hopefully in an episode next month. So go out this week and remember you deserve to live a big life. Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai