With everything we see on the news, arguments on Facebook and disagreements in the workplace, how do you keep your alignment and still make your happiness a priority?
Today on the show I talk with the authors of “Beyond Resistance: Coping with the stress of the Trump Era- an essential guide”, Donna Lipman and Kathy Hertz, to help us break down the stressors of our lives today and offer new suggestions on how to manage these troubled times.
Donna Lipman Master integrative coach and presentation skills trainer Donna Lipman brings together her commitment to The Resistance with her life coaching and presentation abilities to partner with Kathy Hertz in creating a guide to help navigate the stress of these chaotic political times. Their new book “Beyond Resistance: Coping with the Stress of the Trump Era – An Essential Guide” offers self-care solutions and action-oriented exercises to inspire everyone from political observers to advocates and activists. Donna began her coaching and training career when she was introduced to the work of Debbie Ford. After undergoing extensive study and training with The Ford Institute, Donna became an executive with the organization and is one of only two people who has led the unique and powerful three-day Shadow Process Workshop. When the Institute and JFK University joined forces to provide professional life coach training in the method developed by Ms. Ford, Donna was appointed to lead “Evolution Into Mastery” and other life training programs as a core professor. These programs redefined the profession of life coaching, provided comprehensive training in the methodology, and enabled university students to acquire the knowledge and skills to become leading-edge life coaches while earning their bachelor’s degrees. Donna is a contractor with the University of Texas, training entrepreneurs around the world in the field of presentation skills. She also offers workshops for those desiring to hone their presentation skills or move past the fears that block them from being fully self-expressed. She lives in Austin, Texas with her husband, Tom Parish. When she’s not playing with one of her seven grandchildren, teaching, protesting, writing postcards to elected officials, or supporting the nonprofit organization Challenge Day, you can find her singing with her a cappella group, The Texas Lovebirds. Donna’s motto is, “Every voice matters.” Kathy Hertz proudly calls herself a card-carrying member of The Resistance. With a background in politics, government, and activism, Kathy has experienced and witnessed the enormous impact that unchecked negative internal voices and beliefs can have on lives. Following years of political engagement and activism, she now brings her diverse background together with her life-coaching skills to partner with Donna Lipman and create a roadmap for surviving and thriving during these turbulent political times. Their new book is called “Beyond Resistance: Coping with the Stress of the Trump Era – An Essential Guide.” Kathy Hertz Kathy is a certified life coach through The Ford Institute for Transformational Training as well as a dedicated refugee volunteer and activist. She was recently recognized with the prestigious Point of Light Award from George H.W. Bush’s Points of Light Foundation for her work with refugees on Lesvos, Greece. She is also the recipient of the 2016 Annual Fairfax County Volunteer Service Award for adult volunteer service. Volunteerism and service have been the themes running throughout Kathy’s life. Kathy is a veteran of the Bill Clinton and John Kerry Presidential campaigns. She was Assistant to the Deputy NY State Director during Clinton’s campaign, tasked with organizing and planning a major march in NYC and a letters-to-the-editor campaign. She served as Election Day Volunteer Coordinator for the Kerry Campaign, in addition to taking on various other organizational responsibilities. A career highlight was Kathy’s appointment to the U.S. Department of Defense as a Clinton administration political appointee. She was a public affairs specialist for the Secretary of Defense, William J. Perry, and traveled extensively around the world with him. During her time in the entertainment business, Kathy was part of the management teams of David Bowie and Pat Benatar, among others. Hailing from New York City, Kathy now lives in a suburb of Washington D.C. with her 15-year-old son, Sam, and their 3 beagles: Charlie, Rocky, and Belle.
Today I have a really great show for you. I have Donna Lippmann and Kathy hertz. They’re both amazing and incredible. And I’ll have full BIOS in the show notes. And I introduce them a little bit as we get started. You’ll hear it here in a minute. But what I wanted to tell you about today’s show is that we get into we talk about their book, their new book is called Beyond resistance, coping with the stress of the Trump era and Essential Guide. Now, if you like Trump, don’t worry, because this information is actually really helpful to just help us all better understand ourselves, and to get along. Now what ended up happening was we had this really great conversation. And then when we stopped the recording, we started on another topic. And the other topic was like so interesting. I asked them if I could hit record again. And so I’m going to give you this second part of the interview here in just a couple days. So listen to this one. If it resonates with you, please share it with your friends. I think it’s something that can help us all and then look forward to just a few days from now to get the second part where we dive in even deeper. Thanks for listening. Now, let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host Betsy Pake and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Donna Lippmann is a master integrative coach and presentation skills trainer. She brings together her commitment to the resistance with her life coaching and presentation abilities. And she partners with Kathy hertz. And they created a guide to help navigate the stress of these chaotic political times. Now Kathy is a certified life coach through the Ford Institute for transformational training, as well as a dedicated refugee volunteer and activist. She was recently recognized with the prestigious point of light award from George HW Bush’s point of light foundation. That’s a lot to say all at once. For her work with refugees. Now they have a really great book coming out called Beyond resistance coping with the stress of the Trump era and Essential Guide. And it offers self care solutions and action oriented exercises to inspire everyone from political observers, to advocates and activists. Hey, Donna and Kathy, thanks for being here. Hi. Hi, up here, Betsy. Thanks so much.
I’m super pumped to have you here because I feel like what you folks have to talk about and train about today is something that so many of us struggle with no matter what side of the political arena you’re on. So, you know, right now we have President Trump and and some people hate President Trump, and they struggle with the people that like him. And some people like him, and they struggle with the people that don’t. And so I’m excited to have you on because I want to navigate that too. And I want to better understand how I can really help keep my alignment keep my happiness in the face of all of these swirling things happening in our world. So thank you for being on and sharing your wisdom with us today.
Absolutely. Well, you know, as life coaches, we work with people who are ready to make lasting changes and create, you know, more fulfillment and peace in their lives. And in particular, right now, we’re focusing on supporting those in our country who are overwhelmed by the stress. And, you know, given what’s going on politically, there’s a lot happening around that. And yes, and we do avoid talking about it oftentimes, or we get on social media, and we, you know, we air our, our issues there. And it isn’t helping to bring us together, which is really what’s needed in our country right now.
Yeah, you know, that’s so true. I think one of the things we default to, would be to go to social media and like air, our grievances, but then we also see all of this crap that everybody else is leaving. So how do we, how do we begin like, where do we start if we are in this environment now? And maybe we have friends that we love that, that that like Trump and how do we begin to navigate that what would you say are the first steps to really getting a hold of our emotions in what can be something very emotional?
we believe in listening to yourself, that’s sort of the core of all the work we do all the coaching we do and if it bleeds, blends beautifully to what we’re talking about in this conversation. And so many of us are feeling so much stress and overwhelm and feeling that we’re we’re victims of it. We don’t know how to get out of it. And that the root is from outside of us when the root is really, inside of us and we are in, we are able to control it by listening to ourselves getting quiet. What is the main source of my stress? Is it that I’m watching the news 20 times a day, and it’s just churning me up and I can’t sleep at night and I have a stomach ache? Well, what might I do about that, not just think about it, but actually do about it, maybe listening to the news once a day, or once in the morning, and once not too close to bed. And Donna has a great story about that and herself recently, but you know, listening to what’s causing our overwhelm. And you know, you talk, you’re talking about two separate things. One is like dealing with people with differing political opinions, but the other is us in our own mental well being our mental health, and so into being an integrity, listening to ourselves and taking action to get ourselves to a better emotional place. And there’s lots of tools and ways to do that you as a coach know that right? And so Donna, do you want to share your story, or have anything to add?
Well, of course, I have had my my moments of anger and upset. And I find that yelling at the television isn’t really all that effective. And what I have decided to do is to limit of course, my news and take and you want to stay informed, right? You want to be an informed citizen. But also you don’t want to allow yourself to get swallowed up by the craziness that is going on in our in our news right now. So I decided that I am not watching the news at night before I go to bed. So we each have to look at Kathy decided that she was going to eliminate the feeds that come across her phone, and each of us have to decide what it is that we can do to Yes, stay informed, but also not allow ourselves to get too crazy. My husband says to me now, you are much calmer these days.
Yeah, just taking control of that piece. And I think that’s a lot of it is that when all of this is coming at us, we feel out of control. Right. And it’s the act of control that gives us the unease.
yes. So one that that’s a great suggestion is understanding that that’s a trigger and shutting off the news at night. And I think that there is this idea that to be informed, we have to watch the news, like in the morning when we’re getting ready. And you know, checking the news feeds in the afternoon and then watching the news at night.
I am of the belief now that to be informed, I actually have to watch very little news, I could watch like once a week and really be caught up on some of the major things happening. And most of the other things aren’t anything I can have an impact on. Do you find that that’s something that people get a little bit too connected to stories that that they don’t have an impact on? Or are they not aware of where they could have an impact? And that’s what’s causing the stress?
Does that make sense? My question?
Yeah, that’s a great question. I think it almost becomes like an addiction. We’re addicted to having to know what’s going on. And you know, the media is feeding us a lot of drama, and excitement. Yeah, craziness.
And it almost shows us stuff at such a high end. Like if you go to one channel, you’ll hear like a whole story, and then you’ll go to another channel. And then you’ll be like, why aren’t they talking about the craziness that the other channel was talking about? So it makes you question, is it really that big of a deal? Or did they just have people on the ground there until they made it a big deal? Which then affects my life? Right?
Yes. I also think in the beginning of the book, we talked about sort of the progression of how we got here. And we talked about how you know, we got hit with all these headlines, and what hit got hit with the election of Trump and all these things just happened all at once. And we say, and what do you do when you’re faced with all this? Everything you can? And so we all got very quickly dumped into this reality of like, Oh, my God, I have to do it all. Oh, my God, I have to stay on top of it all. And then we felt like we were not being responsible to our you know, what we believed in or we felt like we were dropping the ball or we weren’t being enough or doing enough if we didn’t try to do it all. And what we’re saying is that we can’t do it all there is an army of us, and we have to take care of ourselves in order to be a productive member of that army. If we fall apart if we’re overwhelmed, we don’t really do much for everybody else. So self care is a critical, critical act at this point, and I’m not doing it all doesn’t mean you’re not dropping the book that you are dropping the ball, it doesn’t mean that you’re not standing up for your beliefs or doing everything you can, it just means that you’re going to do it more effectively, because you’re taking care of yourself, and you can do a piece. And you’re still doing a world of good.
You can’t, you know, I think that for me, I will see things and I’ll think like, all these kids, that are the refugees that are being separated from their parents, like I could cry about that for most of the day, if I let myself. And then you know, there’s a lot I mean, every day, there’s something new, right? And so many times I’ll think to myself, like from, I feel like I have the best use of the world to the world, when I am in alignment when I feel happy when I know that my actions match my values when all of that is working, right? I am also somebody that doesn’t like conflict. Like, I just don’t like it, it makes me super uncomfortable. I probably go to too far lengths to avoid it. Yeah, I feel like these issues are important. How do I and I know there’s other people that are listening? Because I’ve had conversations with my listeners of this very thing? How do I maintain that alignment? and see all of this and know what to do? Like, if I don’t like conflict? Is it okay for me to be focused on? Like my show? Because that brings good into the world? Or is it wrong for me to not focus on any of the crap that’s going on? Do you see the conflict that I have with that?
I think it’s a matter of integrity. When you say that, Kathy, it’s in what’s in alignment, what’s in integrity for you. And I see you Betsy is doing your part. And one of the things that I love on your home page on your website is turning crisis into transformation. And that is what we are attempting to do with our book. But that’s what I see you doing. You know, we’re all feeling like maybe there’s a crisis going on our country right now. Oh, sure. Yeah. How can we use this instead of it using us? Yeah, um, and another thing that you’ve said is changing through small consistent steps is yes, that’s what we, that’s what the best that we can do. And that’s what you’re doing with your show. And that’s the part you play.
And so if somebody’s listening, the part that they play, is that they are perhaps listening or lending an ear to somebody that suffering or maybe helping in their small community or helping a neighbor. And then if they feel called to go do something larger than they act on that calling? Yes.
And ultimately, there’s no right or wrong, there’s no enough, it’s all about what, what works for you. And we really, um, one of the things that we like to urge people to do is get clear on what is the one the most important thing for them is the most, the most important thing for us right now is to be a source of support to people who are dealing with stress and support and anxiety particularly while trying to stand for something in this world and to support them. And we feel that that’s really important to do, you are doing something by by through your website through helping people turn transform chaos into something more in their lives. And that’s really valid. And any little thing that somebody does even to put a you know, put an arm around someone who’s really freaking out about the news one day and be like, I’m here and I get it and I understand that’s valid. So is running for elected up as an elected official in your community. It’s all valid and everything matters, every little piece.
I love that so much. Because I think, you know, for myself and my listeners, that’s a huge thing that we always talk about, like, what am I doing enough am I and feels like sometimes when you’re on social media and you’re seeing people that are taking huge actions, right, that are doing amazing things. I mean, I see people like Glennon Doyle really love me some Glennon but I think to myself sometime like she’s so brave and courageous and steps out and does all this stuff. Like how do how do we find our place in that like, if I’m not aiming to do all the things that she does? Am I not doing enough You know, there is that like, Oh my gosh, I should be. But I suppose that’s the whole comparison thing. And people need to just come into alignment, listen to their inner voice and see what is right for them with everything else going on in their own lives.
And I have a French lawyer in Austin. She has three kids, and she works full time. And she she was actually on every committee in town from the environment and women’s issues she was and she was the lead person for our local indivisible organization. Plus, she was volunteering for a candidate that’s running for senator here in the midterms. So while she was accomplishing a lot, what was suffering? Her family? Right, right? She got sick. So then she re prioritizes. Right? We just like Kathy said, we’ve just got to trust there’s an army out there that’s going to pick up the slack. And let’s not wait until we get sick, sick.
Right? Yeah. So do what we can as much as we can. And know that if other people do as much as they can, we can all come together to be a force for good.
And you know, you you heard the word should about what should I be doing? Yeah. And you know, we need to stop shutting?
Yeah, should all over myself constantly.
Get present with yourself, and and get clear on where you’re being led? What is your inner voice? What does your gut tell you that you want to be doing in this time? to stand up and be in integrity with yourself? And then, you know, what are you called to do? And if you feel that there are blockages between what you feel you’re being called to do, and what you’re able to actually stand up to do? Get some life coaching, you know, getting coaching with you, Betsy, is a great way for people to move through. Because if you’re feeling blocked to, to manifest what you want to manifest in this political situation, it’s showing up in other places in your lives, right? Yeah, something like getting life coaching or, you know,
reading the book reading, tell me about
Tell me more about the book, let’s
get into that. Well give a lot of tools and skill, we teach skills for people to move beyond sort of a lot of what’s blocking them and inhibiting them. We’re teaching skills that are applicable throughout life. So again, we’re focused on this political environment, yet what we all know, it’s sort of, you know, if it’s showing up here in our lives, it’s showing up in other places in our lives. And so we want to get help people get clear on what’s important to them, what is integrity for them personally, around this political situation, and then guide them through some of the ways that they can move beyond the blockage, the traditional block, just like you don’t like conflict, the book would probably help you learn why you have such a difficult time with some conflict and how to move beyond that. Donna, do you? Do you want to add to that?
Yeah, one of my favorite chapters in the book has to do with what we call the fatal four. And one of the things we have to stop doing is giving our power away. So every time you mentioned, Betsy, every time we compare ourselves to somebody else, we give our power away every time we judge someone, every time we make an excuse about why we can be or do or have something in our lives. We give our power away. Every time we allow that monkey chatter you know that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that voice that goes on in your head that says I’m not good enough. Every time we believe that we give our power away.
And every time we’re self righteous, we give our power away.
That’s another Yeah, yeah. Cuz really, right now, I feel like the one of my favorite things that I say, I feel like I say it every day is, um, that’s an interesting perspective. Because when somebody comes at me, and many times, people, I feel like want to fight in some ways, because they want their version of the world and of how they’re viewing all this heard, right. And so they’ll say what they think. And they probably know, intellectually, they’re not going to be able to change your mind, but they still want to try unconsciously, I think they’re still trying to, you know, want to try. And so I’ll just say, well, that’s a really interesting perspective. And it is because it’s different than mine. You know, and it helps to diffuse and I feel like it helps me stay in alignment and with who I am, I’m not fighting with you. I’m not even judging you. Like I’m just saying, that’s really an interesting perspective. And it helps like I feel like calm everything down. But I think that those tools will be so important for people. Now your book is called Beyond resistance, coping with the stress of the Trump era and Essential Guide Where can people find it?
Well, we are on amazon.com.
Okay, so I’ll link to it in the show notes if anyone’s looking
great. Thank you and also on Barnes Noble.
Okay, awesome. Awesome. Thank you both so much. Do you have any, any final thoughts? Anything else that we should know or some takeaway that would help people as we finish up here?
Well, I think that the best thing that we can do to help mitigate the stress or the sadness or the fear of conflict, whatever the issue might be for us is to get into action and it doesn’t have to be big. I
I love that. Thank you both so much for being on the show today. Thank you, Betsy, the writer. Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.