112: This is the real reason you're not manifesting quickly - Betsy Pake

112: This is the real reason you’re not manifesting quickly


 I saw a post the other day about manifesting and your vibration. It bothered me because I felt like it was oversimplifying and even had an element of shame in it if you weren’t manifesting what you want in life or things aren’t going the way you expected. 

You’re doing all the right things, watching your thoughts, focused on the good, but you still seem to get a similar life experience over and over again. Why?

I believe we’re not just getting what we are vibrating as much as we’re vibrating what we think we deserve. 

So until you can upgrade what you think you deserve, what you think and believe deep down in your subconscious, it will take you a long time to make any profound shifts in your experience.

This episode is great for anyone who is struggling with manifesting, someone who wonders why things take so long or someone who is just ready to make a huge shift in their life and are ready to do the work in a whole new way.

Thanks for listening, I hope that it serves you!



Hey guys, before we get started, I just wanted to let you know that I have a new training on my website that’s free. It’s about the secrets that my clients use to turn their crisis into transformation. So I think that every time we have a problem or a crisis, a problem big or small, then we have an opportunity to use it to help us transform into something even more. So I’d love for you to join me over there. It’s free. You can see it right on my front page when you go to Betsy Pake comm See you there. Welcome to the art of living day. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. All right, I have something today that serious that I want to talk to you about. And maybe it’s just me, but I’ve been seeing something pop up a lot recently in posts on social media that I think is is wrong, or it’s it’s not the full truth. And I wanted to talk to you about it. And the reason that it even matters to me is that it’s wrong, is because if you see it and you believe it, then you might also believe that you’re doing something wrong, or that you’re not good enough or like not spiritual enough somehow to be in the right vibration to make things happen that you want to have happen. So here’s basically how this started for me is that I saw a post on Facebook. And it’s, I would I do want to say that any of the posts that I’ve seen, they’re actually people I really like. And I think that if they thought all the way through what I’m about to share with you, they’d probably agree with me. But you know, like social media isn’t always the way you’re not going to change somebody’s mind. Typically. They’re right, am I right? So the post that I saw was somebody that said, like how to change your health. And then they were talking about being in the right vibration of health and that when you’re sick, what do you do is you get focused on the illness, right? you Google it, you talk to your friends and your family, and you get all involved in the in the sickness. And I agree. And they said, so if you want to get well stop thinking about that, like focus on something good. And they were saying like, take a nap, take a bath. And And my response to that. And we actually had a really good interaction back and forth. But my response to it was that that’s really easy to say, if you’re not the one that’s in the illness, if you’re not the one that sick. And if you are the one that sick, your mind could take you to fear and fast forwarding to later in your life where things don’t work out or, or whatever, you know, whatever that is. And I think that if you just simply say, like, just sit and watch some funny movies, like, I think that’s oversimplifying it, I think there’s something else there. Because if that were the case, if it was that I could just sit and focus on my health, then I would be I mean, if I could just sit and get, I would be a tall skinny person right now, if I could just think about what it is I really wanted, right? So everybody with cancer wouldn’t have cancer, if that really was the thing that worked. Everybody would just watch funny movies for a week and be cured, right? So there’s something else there. And that’s what I want to talk to you about today. Because I’ve seen a lot of these posts, like if you don’t like your current life,

just change your vibration.

Yes, but it’s not as simple as those posts make it to seem. And if you are struggling right now, or you’re in a place where you’re like, Oh my God, my life is so difficult. How did I do this? And why am I like such a terrible person that I don’t? I can’t get in the right vibration, right? I mean, I’m jumping to a conclusion you

think that but

I’ve thought that before where I’ve been like, Oh my God, why is this not working. And so I really want to cry foul on those posts, because it is oversimplifying something that’s true. But I want to explain it to you in the way that I understand it in the way that works for me, and in the way that I’m able to really shift my clients by working with them. So Alright, so let’s start with

the idea that thoughts become things which is really the basis of those posts. So yes, like thoughts have a vibration that goes out into the world and attracts other things on a similar vibration. So the idea is that if I’m happy, I’m bringing happiness. And if I’m focused on illness, then I’m bringing more illness to me. Now, from a law of attraction standpoint, we get that right, we understand that like attracts like. Alright, so then let’s go to our brains. So our brains are designed to listen to what you tell it, and to act on that. So we have something in our brain called the RAS or a reticular activating system. So this is a phenomenon you’ve already experienced. Have you ever wanted to buy a new car and you get your eye on the car that you want and then you see it everywhere. And you’re like, Oh my god, how did everybody have that car. And I remember, there were times like when I was pregnant, I didn’t ever notice pregnant people, and I don’t ever notice pregnant people now, for the most part, but when I was pregnant, I felt like everybody I saw was pregnant, right? It’s because it’s my reticular activating system. It’s It is, it is on alert, it is looking. So if you think about how busy your brain is, there’s billions of bits of information every second going on, but my brain can only process a few thousand of these bits at a time. So we’re going to naturally delete as we go around our lives. So like right now, look around your space. Look around how many things do you see that are yellow. So scan, if you’re driving, sorry, look around, you got it. All right. Now close your eyes. Unless you’re driving Close your eyes, and not tell me how many things you saw that were read. You might remember one thing or maybe two, you just weren’t looking for red, you were looking for yellow. And so your brain just said, Oh, hey, that’s not important. Just Just look for yellow. So deleting is this really natural process that’s really needed. Otherwise, we’d be really overwhelmed with all the information that’s flying in around us. Now, I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Michael kaanum. And he’s a Nobel Peace Prize winner. But he wrote a book called Thinking Fast and Slow. And he talks about our fast brain is this reptilian part of our brain. It’s the part of our brain that like, lets me breathe without thinking about breathing. It makes super fast decisions based on all the other things I’ve experienced. Now, the slow thinking brain is what you think of as your personality and who you are. So this is the part of your brain that’s listening to this podcast right now and making judgments or having thoughts. So how do our brains know what to look for and what to allow in. So our brain raises the importance on things that are highly emotional, or repetitive. Now this part of our brains always on so this like fast thinking brain thing is always on, it doesn’t sleep. So if you’re a new mom, you feel me, you know, you could be dead asleep. But when your baby cries, you sit up straight in bed, you you could be in the most sound sleep you’ve ever had. But the second you hear that baby cry, you’re like, whoo, right. So this is because the importance on that is so high in your brain, that when you’re when when your fast thinking brain hears that it alerts you immediately a wakes you up, and gets you going. So important is everything. And to raise importance, I have to have it be highly emotional, or repetitive. Okay? So thoughts become things is very true. Because the more you’re focused on something, like the good stuff in your life, or the happiness you’re feeling or any of that stuff, then the more your brain is going to begin to show you more of the good in your life, which is like, like attracts like, right, which is really your brain, like finding the good finding the good. And vice versa. If I’m always focused on the bad, I’m gonna start to see more bad. So thoughts do become things. And this is very important on an energetic level, as well as my brain seeking it out. So you’re sending out this energetic vibration, and you’re alerting your brain of what to look for, and possibly what opportunities to see. So here’s the problem with that being the only way we manifest stuff in our life. It’s not the only thing vibrating. In fact, I’d say, although it’s very important, I’m not even sure it’s the most important action in regard to our manifesting. So like attracts like, my brain is processing. It’s using my Ras system to find things that I’m telling it to look for. Anything that’s highly emotional or repetitive is what my brain is going to seek seek, seek, seek, seek, and that’s giving off my vibration, right. So if that was the only thing, if that was the only thing I had to do to to manifest everything that I want them, we could all like quit our jobs, and just meditate and focus solely on manifesting like the lottery, right? We could sit in front of the TV when we have cancer, and simply watch funny movies and eat healthy food and just cure ourselves. Now, you might be thinking, like some people have done that, Betsy. And you’d be right they have there are stories out there of people that have done that. But I don’t think it’s because of those actions. As much as it’s because they had an internal belief system that told them that that was possible, I believe to try and overrun our belief systems and just think differently in each moment will work to an extent but not to the extent that you want. You’re going to become frustrated, and probably think things are never going to happen for you or maybe you’ll start to see little things. And that’s amazing. That’s great. You can start because remember repetitive if you’re constantly thinking something, it is going to start to change my brain and get into my subconscious, which affects my fast thinking brain, the reptilian brain, and that’s what I want. So maybe you’ve given up on something before you ever really got to the bottom of it, because you see all this stuff everywhere, posted on social media that just tells you it’s just your stinking thinking.

Right? That is just because you’re not thinking

positively enough. And when I saw that post the other day about the health, you know, it, it bothered me because because it’s just not as simple as it’s posted in, in the post. And it’s, it’s because we have an unconscious belief pattern that’s really running the show, and telling your fast thinking brain, what to see where to look, and what opportunities are really available for you. So can you influence that with conscious thought, sure. But these grooves are so deep, you’re not going to uproot a whole lot unless you have something that shifts your belief pattern about the thing you’re trying to manifest. Now, that could be something conscious, like something you experience right now, or it could be unearthing something you’ve experienced in the past. So let’s, let’s talk about beliefs. And I’m going to share some ways that you can do this, that’ll be much, much quicker and have a bigger impact on your life than you might believe right now. So, yes, keep thinking positive thoughts. I’m not saying stop that I’m just trying to help you get into the grooves of your deeply ingrained thought pattern so that you have some success and you feel more in control. Because in the end, once you’re aware of what the belief is, then you can be in control of whether or not you believe it. The problem is that right now you don’t even know that it’s there. So a belief is something that you’ve thought for so long, that you believe it’s your reality. It’s just a thought that you heard as a child, or a thought your family believed when you were growing up, that became your way of seeing the world to You see, when we’re little from the time we’re born till we’re around seven, we’re taking in everything around you, you’re making sense of it in your childlike way, not in a way, necessarily, that’s going to serve you as an adult. And you’re creating your view of the whole world with that. So the reason you’re able to take all this in and absorb it so easily is because there was probably so much emotion involved in it, like your parents might have yelled at you. Or you learned how to not touch a hot stove by touching the hot stove. So high levels of emotion and definitely repetition. I mean, what do we hear over and over and over and

over from our parents

growing up? It’s like, No, no, no, no, right? So over and over, you would see the same behavior and patterns in your family. And so your brain absorbs that as what’s true. The other reason is that our brainwave patterns as children are different than they are as adults. So just walking around the earth as kids, we are in a totally different state than we are as adults. And this makes us really open to take in new information and assimilate it into our view of the world. So I want to describe these brainwave states to and then we’re going to get back to beliefs here in just a minute. So as adults walking around right now you’re in a beta brainwave state, we’re aware we’re walking around, we’re fully in beta. But when we’re children, up until we’re around seven or eight, we are in alpha and theta brainwaves, which is the same state you’re in when you’re in hypnosis, or meditation. So you’re totally open to suggestions. And you’re constantly being programmed, I have to tell you, if I knew what I know, now, I would have done some things differently with my own daughter when she was little. So what an opportunity to know if you know that this is happening. So in this alpha or theta state, and also Delta, but that’s when you’re really itty bitty, but we’re in a learning a super learning state just walking around, we learn about the world and about ourselves. And then we grow up. And most of the beliefs that we’ve absorbed are never even conscious to us, but we act on them. And they influence everything we do in the rest of our lives. They influence who we pick as friends, what we decide is a good partner how much success or lack of success you feel is available to you. So if you think about it, every single belief that you have was probably suggested by somebody else unless you have unearthed that belief and decided consciously how you want to believe now as an adult. So these are the different brainwave cycles when you’re born until you’re around two, you’re in delta. This is the lowest brainwave state, and it’s really it’s, it’s why little kids nap so much. You go into delta as an adult when you’re in a superduper deep sleep and then there’s theta and usually between the age of two or six, you’re in data. So we spend a lot of time like imaginary play, daydreaming, kids are making stuff up, right, they’re playing with their toys, but making up stories. So kids that are in this state, just, they believe just about anything that you say is true. And when you get into hypnosis, then you’re in this state as as well. And then alpha from about five years old, till around seven or eight, you move into alpha into alpha. So this is when you’re able to start to draw conclusions from things that you learn or you’re exposed to. So kids in this state are still very much influenced by everything that’s going on around them. And they’re super inside this, like imaginary world, imaginary play kind of thing. And also coming into this new reality that they’re formed. So they’re almost starting to transition into this like real life and imaginary life. Now, you’re in this frequency during light meditation, or if you get trancy. During the day, your brains actually naturally go into trance states in and out throughout the day. You might notice like, if you kind of spaced out, or you drift for a little bit in the day, that’s probably where you’re going into alpha. So you’re relaxed, and you’re open. So now beta is anywhere from age 10 to 12, you’ll transition into beta and beyond, obviously, because we’re in beta as adults. So now you’re in a beta brainwave state, so your mind is totally awake and alert, and your analytical, you can go between your right and left brain all throughout the day. So we live in beta.

But all that

stuff is going on beneath the surface, you have all these formed beliefs. And beliefs are just this thought that you keep thinking and thinking and practicing, and eventually what the thinker thinks the thinker proves. And if you are having these very deep seated beliefs, these thoughts all day long influencing everything you do, then don’t you think those have a vibration? So it’s not just your conscious thoughts affecting your life and bringing like to you? It’s your unconscious thoughts and your belief systems, too. Can you see why then at times, it feels impossible to manifest what you want? And or have you ever wondered if you just don’t have what it takes to do the thing you want to do? I’ve had that happen times where I thought, Oh, my God, I am focused. And I’ve meditated. And I’ve, after mated the heck out of this. So why, right? Why, but then I started to tap more into my belief systems, I started to get super clear on what my beliefs really were. I did an episode on this way back, it was Episode 20, and how to identify your beliefs. But the tricky thing here really is that you might not even be aware of them. And you might need somebody else to point them out to disrupt your pattern of thinking and to start to question you. And this can be really hard. This is a huge clue is going to be how you feel. So when you get upset about something, or something makes you angry or triggered in some way. Ask yourself why this is an amazing opportunity for you to actually tap into something that’s running underneath consciousness, get super curious about that emotion. And ask yourself what why would I feel that way? And is directly linked to a belief system somewhere. I have a girlfriend, who is like, fabulous. I love her. She’s amazing. She has an incredible career. She’s funny, she’s smart, like all the things. And she’s 40. And she’s not married. And she’d like to get married. We’ve talked about it a lot over the last few years. She’d like to find a partner who’s fun and likes to travel and, you know, do a lot of the same things that she likes to do. And one day, when we were talking about it, I asked her to get super clear on what he was like. So tell me everything about him what he looks like, what he smells like, what he does for fun, what his family’s like all of that stuff, right. And as we were talking just as a side note, she said, Oh, gosh, that would be so great. But a guy like that would never go for me and she laughed. What? So she could never find the guy because she knew exactly what she wanted. And when she saw that she would never let him know, because she knew in her deepest belief systems that he would reject her, because that kind of guy wouldn’t like her. Now, this might seem like oh, Betsy, she was just saying that. No, it came out so smooth and easy. And I knew that it was a clue to a belief system that we were seeing. So that’s actually where she’s vibrating from. So yes, she’s sending out her list to the universe. And she’s Trump also strongly telling the universe No. So we’re not getting what we’re vibrating at as much as we’re vibrating at what we think we deserve. When I was about three, I grew up in Vermont, and we were at something called Franklin County field days. It was like this county fair and my dad was inspired Mental in starting this in the county, my dad was a

was a farmer.

And I remember being at that, and we were looking like at chickens, baby chickens or something. I mean, I was like about three, I remember this so clearly. And I remember putting my arms up and asking my dad to pick me up, only to look up and see like some man with a mustache and my dad didn’t have a mustache. And I remember it freaked me out. And I remember my mom said to my dad, Don, pick her up, She’s embarrassed. And I actually remember being happy that my mom had offered me such a grown up emotion of embarrassment, that felt really good. Like, I remember I felt seen, I also felt oddly rejected by the guy who clearly was uncomfortable with some little kid wanting to pick them up. Like this was the 70s. So you know, a little different than today. But I remember he seemed like almost angry. And I felt really rejected because he didn’t, like laugh or say, Oh, he didn’t even respond to me. And that my dad didn’t seem super interested in picking me up until my mom prompted him. So I’m sure he was talking with somebody or looking at something. But in my three year old brain, that started to build the belief that I wasn’t good enough to be seen. It didn’t matter how many times my husband told me, I was worthy, or my friends told me I was worthy. I had to experience this shift internally. So this is a theme that comes up with me not being heard by almost all my earliest memories have that theme. And so I had to go in and release that. And when I did, it was profound. So okay, so now you get the belief systems are running unconsciously, and they’re going to pop up, we’re going to be able to see them. So how do we actually break that. So you’ve got to get into your unconscious mind and reprogram, you’ve got to dig in there and unearth the crap that’s stuck in the grooves. And when you do, I promise you, you will be shocked at how differently you act in small and simple ways. You’ll start to notice the tone of your voice is different when you say things. So people hear you differently. Maybe you talk slower, you express yourself in new ways. Now, there are many ways and many different kinds of therapy to help you get into the subconscious. So first, going back to repetition and emotion, both of these things can impact your subconscious. And you do those things every single day. So, visualizations, if you do them, right, and affirmations really do work. But there are other things you can do as well, that will have what I think is a quicker impact. So meditation is one way there are really great hypnosis meditations out there that can help you. We can recreate that theta state and use it to reprogram our mind in a more conscious way. And and the really cool thing is that each of us are in this state naturally a couple times a day, where we can like effectively hypnotize hypnotize ourselves. So just before you fall asleep, and just as you’re waking up, as you’re drifting off, your mind actually moves from beta where you are all during the day into alpha and then theta. And then if then eventually you get into delta. And that’s where you’re sound asleep. But that theta window is really the most receptive state. And so this is going to be a time and I tell my clients this all the time is before bed or right when you wake up is a really great time to have a vision for what you want to visualize and envision, and hold the space for that new thing you want to come into your life. So as you’re drifting off to sleep, that can be really impactful. There’s also some really great subliminal tapes that you can use tapes, I just said tapes because I was born in the 70s digital downloads that you can use to play in the background. That’ll help you in overriding some limiting programs, I would just be a little cautious about just listening to anything on YouTube. Just make sure you know what the unconscious programming is in the background. In my work, I have a program called the rise and I take people through a series of EFT so that Emotional Freedom Technique that we’ve talked about tapping to help calm their nervous system and then begin to imprint new emotions over those beliefs. And we also go into hypnosis and rewrite new belief systems that support us. So I like to rewrite the memory altogether. And I like to make it the way I want so that it supports me. I know this feels really odd. But most memories are just mine anyhow. So chances are the memories I have, which created these really impactful moments in my life aren’t memories that somebody else would have. So that memory of me reaching up and wanting my dad to pick me up at field days. My dad my dad probably doesn’t even remember that so

who cares if I change the memory But to me, it feels a lot better for me to go in to hypnosis and get myself in a meditative state. And then to rewrite that whole experience. So then I just imagine it in a new way, that the guy really laughed and said, Oh, aren’t you You’re so smart, you knew to be wanting to be picked up, like so you could see better, right? Because that’s what I wanted was to see those little chickens or whatever, whatever was there. So that he acknowledges me and says something that’s reaffirming. And then my dad is happy and excited to pick me up and show me and is engaged. So that’s how I want to rewrite that memory. So that then that’s what I go to, I don’t want to think of it as like, I’m rejected. Nobody sees me like, that doesn’t feel good. So even though that’s a memory in that feels like how are you changing a memory,

chances are the memory I have isn’t

even the reality of what happened at that time anyway. So you know, change it in a way that supports you and where you want to go in the world. So here’s what I would offer you start with your beliefs. And here’s what I would really offer you is, don’t beat yourself up. If you feel like you’re not vibrating at the right level. It’s probably an unconscious program running. And then just commit to beginning to unravel that. Start with your beliefs and dig in, see what you can can uncover. And see if you have a pattern of reoccurring thoughts like where does your mind go in your driving or showering? Like, what are you moving to notice that those circular thoughts you have that that can be a huge clue, and then get a friend or a coach to challenge you and help you to identify the patterns that are in your words, those offer really big clues. Now, if you remember from Episode 100 that I did on NLP, all of your actions, everything that you do is working, because your mind believes it’s helping you. So ask yourself, like once you uncover that belief, what could be the positive intention in me having this belief, and then create a list of what you’d like to believe instead? What types of thoughts Would you like to vibrate from instead of where you are? And then go into those lower brainwaves and shift those to create the life you deserve? Because being fearless in weeding out what doesn’t serve you, in my mind, that’s how you design a big life. Have a great week. You guys. See you next time. Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.