129: Are you using your intuition to hold yourself back? - Betsy Pake

129: Are you using your intuition to hold yourself back?


Episode 129: Today show is all about what’s holding you back and are you using your intuition as the reason you don’t have to push through the work that gets you to your goal.

Is it your intuition or is that your brain saying that thing feels new and scary?

In today’s show, I talk about how to identify what’s intuition and what’s excuse and how to move forward in those times.

Thanks for listening and sharing with your friends! I hope that it serves you.


Hello, everyone, welcome to The Art of Living big, you are listening to Episode 129. This past weekend, I took a workshop with Laura de now I talked about Laura day, a couple episodes ago because I read one of her books that was called How to rule the world from your couch. And I wanted to go see her. She was here in Atlanta, and I went and saw her, like on a Friday night where she did a book signing. And then she had a workshop over the weekend. And so I went to that, and I’m going to talk a little bit more in depth about all of that, I think on another episode, but here’s what kind of came out of it. The the workshop was actually about harnessing the power of intuitive healing. And it was really, really interesting. And, and like I said, I’m going to go into a bunch of the details about that at another time. I’d actually like to have her on the show. One thing that I have started implementing that I think I’m going to do every Monday night, if you go to my Instagram, if you go to App Betsy Pake on Instagram,

I’m going to do a healing circle

every Monday night at around eight o’clock eastern time. So I’m going to put a post up, like on Sunday afternoon or Monday morning, where you can comment, and I will do what some of what I learned in the workshop with Laura. Okay, but here’s what I want to talk about today on the podcast. So here’s what came up is that the whole idea is that there’s this intuition, right that we all have, some of us are tapped into it at a little bit greater extent than others. And this, Laura de is like, extremely tapped in in lots of different ways that I could only hope to be.

But when we were going through all

of the exercises, and I was just thinking about using my intuition in my own life, and when it serves me, and when perhaps I use it to serve me. Okay, so what does that mean? I’m going to talk about that in today’s episode, but it all kind of stemmed from this workshop. So I’m happy you’re here to join me as I kind of work through and share what my thoughts are on this. And hopefully, it will give us some food for thought and serve you. So thanks for listening. Let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everyone, welcome to the show. All right. So today, I want to talk about when our intuition serves us. And when we use it to serve us. So the difference there is very subtle, and I’m going to try to explain what I mean. But let’s just talk first, if you’re new here, about intuition and what I really mean. So intuition is really like that gut feeling that you have, right. So we all have like this inner Knower, the feeling that we get about something, and you know, you’ll get a certain feeling about people, when you meet them about places when you go there about ideas when you have them. And you’ll feel a certain way. And that first initial feeling is really what I think of as like my intuition, like my gut is telling me this place is unsafe, or my gut is telling me like this is really a good idea, right. And so one of the things that I talk about a lot on the show is using that intuition to guide you using that gut feeling so that you’re making decisions. And you’re using the senses that you might not be able to identify, you know, so I can say like, I can touch this, I can smell this, I can hear this, I can feel this, like all of the things, those five senses that I have. But there’s like another level of sense that we have also. And so that intuitive knowing is really tapping into that other sense in and how can I use just like, I’d want to use my hearing, I wouldn’t want to get rid of my sight. Like I want to cultivate that ability to sense something on another level. And so, you know, I use that in my life a lot. I’ll try to get a sense for something, even if I’m working on a project, or I’m looking at my day, like what feels like the right thing to do. You know, my morning routine, and you probably do this to where you’re like, Okay, I have certain things that I do every morning and that feels right, that feels like the right thing to do. And then you may have time where you work on yourself in the morning. I know a lot of us do. And some days that might feel like pulling a card from a tarot deck and seeing what your into intuition says about that. Or it might be spending some time reading or learning something new, or listening to this podcast. So we all have Have those things that we, we feel like doing, right. And that’s sort of like our gut feeling that feels right. And that feels like the thing we’re gonna do next. And then you also know, when you have the thing that you really just don’t feel like doing, you know, you’re like, I can’t believe I have to do this today. Or I really don’t want to go to that thing. Or I hate that I have to work with this group at work that it just doesn’t feel right. Like we’re not cohesive, nobody’s communicating in the same way. So all of those things are aspects of using your intuition and using that guidance system that you have inherently within you. Now, one of the things that I’m really trying to do is to expand that and that’s what come I had went to that workshop with Laura day. I’m like, how can I expand that to be able to serve other people in a different way? So if you’re really tapped into your tuition intuition, and this is, like, my feeling about my life, is that if I can do something, how can I use that to serve other people, whether it’s my family, or it’s you guys, or it’s, you know, my clients, or whatever that is, like, how can I use something that I’ve cultivated or gotten good at,

to share?

Okay, so that’s how I go to this workshop. But as I’m there, I’m thinking. So the last couple of weeks have been a lot going on in my life. And you know, I’ve talked briefly on the show, you can listen to the holding space for somebody episode, I talk a little bit more in depth about my daughter, and how she has been sick and struggling with like a lot, a lot of anxiety and depression. And so working through all of that. So over the last few weeks, things have been, like changing and a little heightened emotion, she has gone to live somewhere else for a while, well, she gets some additional help. So that feels like there’s sort of a void here, right? Because she’s not here, there’s also a release, because it freed up a lot of my energy. So when she left, I realized that, like, I, I thought she was gonna leave, and she’s gonna be gone for this amount of time. And I am going to do this and this and this, and this, and I’m going to get this organized. And I’m gonna do this school, and I’m going to have this done. Do you know what I’m saying? Like, sort of, like, I know, I’m gonna have this big deep breath of space. And so I’m going to do the things that I’ve wanted to do that I haven’t had the time or energy for. But when she left, I realized I was pooped. Like, all my intuition was telling me to do was to like, hey, it’s 10am, why don’t you take a little nap? Right? And I was struggling with that. Because I was like, No, no, no, I have things to do, I have a list of things I want to accomplish. At the end of this time period, I want to be able to say like, I did this, and I accomplished this, because that’s very much who I am like goal setting, right? And you’re probably like that, too. You have stuff you want to accomplish. But everything about everything about me was saying slow down. Don’t do that. And so last week, I was like, Okay, I’m gonna, I’m gonna listen to that. I’m gonna do that for a little bit. And just sort of follow that and see where it goes. So, so I did, and it was nice. And I’m grateful that I had the space to be able to do that. But then what happened on the day that I was supposed to get going. So I gave myself a few days. And then I’m like, Okay, well, on this day, I’m going to get going, but I didn’t want to. So my intuition was still saying no, just rest. So where is

this point where

I’m listening to my intuition, or I’m using my intuition, to not do the things that are hard things. So let me say this in a different way. So when we have goals, or dreams or things, we want to accomplish things that we’ve never done before. They’re new, it’s new stuff. And we’ve never done it before. Which means our brains think that’s a little scary. Our brains think like that’s, possibly could kill us, right? So my brain wants to keep me safe. And all it knows is what I already know. So if I want to do something new or create something new, or put myself out there in a new way, my brain is going to be like, No, no, no, don’t please don’t do that. Let’s just not do that. So here’s where I got with it where I’m like, I have important work to do and important things that I want to create that I want to put out in the world for you guys. I want to do some fun stuff. So you have like a really great this. This is one of my things I want to do this really great freebie so you have like this huge workshop to purchase. For 2019, so that has been on my list for like six weeks. So what like, what’s the resistance? Why is there a resistance there? So what is the point where you go? That’s my intuition telling me I’m not supposed to do that. Or you say, That’s my, I’m using my intuition to serve me so that I don’t have to do that. It’s almost like I’m using it as an excuse. So is that really, truly my intuition? Or is that me just not really, like feeling like it or feeling that resistance from my brain? And going, I’m not going to do it? That must be my intuition. But is it my intuition? Or is that my brain just trying to keep me safe? Because that’s something new. And if I listened to that all the time, I would never accomplish anything new. I would only accomplish like the same stuff I’ve already done, or the things right on the very edges of that. So here’s the conundrum. Right? So how do we move forward? So I got to thinking about this. And so I started thinking about other areas in my life, because I wanted to, like expand that and say, is that just work that I’m feeling that? Or is that other things as well. So if you’re having this where you’re like, I really want to do and when I’m going to use work as an example. So I am trying to listen to my intuition. I’m trying to follow that inner voice and, and, and follow the breadcrumbs, I have a vision for my dream. And I’m trying to follow the breadcrumbs by listening to my inner Knower. And my inner knowing is telling me not to do that thing. But logically, I feel like that thing is a really good thing that I want to share and put out in the world. But I have a resistance to it. So how do I know if that’s my intuition? Or if that’s just my brain, saying that feels new and scary? So let’s talk about that. So when I’m listening to my intuition, and let’s say it’s a project for work that I want to create, we’ll use this 2019 like workbook

for you,

right? So let’s say I have this idea, I want to create this 2019 workbook, so you can really explore all the things that worked for you this year, the things that didn’t work and have something to download for next year. So let’s say that that’s what I want to do. And how does that feel to me? So here’s where we’re going to go. I think about it. It actually feels, does it feel really expansive? Like does it make me feel really wide? Does it give me sort of butterflies? Where I’m like, Ooh, that feels really fun. Does it make me feel like that’s something that really wants so when I feel this, it almost is like, it’s trying to come out? Like my heart space? Okay. So like, when I think about that, does it make it feel like it’s coming out my heart? Like, it’s something that wants to come out of me?

Okay. Or does it feel like it’s really constricted and small? Does it make me feel like, I just want to take a nap. So that’s how I can know when I think about the thing. That that’s really something for me, or maybe something not for me. Okay, so I get the expansive feeling. Yet when I go to put it on my calendar. I don’t want to do it. So what’s that? So that’s my next step. So I know this is something for me because I’ve asked my intuition. I feel the expansiveness, I feel like it’s something that I want to share, come out of my heart come out of my body and be creative. But when I go to do the thing, I get stuck. I think now’s not the time. Maybe I’ll do that tomorrow. There must be something else I’m supposed to learn. This isn’t on the path yet. And I know that there are other people out there listening to this, that do that too, right? Because we all do. We all have this about something. So if you know it’s for you, and you’re not wanting to do it, then I’m going to say that it’s your brain saying that it’s something new and scary. And it is causing that constriction. And you have to push past that. Because you could stay stuck in that cycle forever. I could say stuck in that cycle until next year, right? I mean, it could be like next August, where I’m like, I guess I get better put that together for 2020. Right. So I don’t want to get to that point. So how do I make that work? So one of the ways and I want to talk about I want to talk about this worksheet that I have. And you may have heard me talk about this worksheet, but I want to put it in this context. So I have this worksheet on my website that’s free. If you go to my website and you go under Tools. It’s called the chase worksheet. I wrote a book a couple years ago, if I were to write a book today, it would be different but this book is called start small, live big. And in that book, I talk about this very thing, this part of your brain that doesn’t want to move forward because it feels like Make something new. And so your amygdala immediately goes like, no, let’s not do that. So I’m going to come up with all these reasons. And if I know, I’m talking like on my brain, I know the Betsy listens to her intuition. So I want to make this seem like her intuition, because then she won’t do it. Because really my brains trying desperately to keep me safe, it does not know that it’s 2018 and menino, my problems are few, right? So like, I’m not going to die by going outside, I’m not going to die by putting together this, this workbook for you. But my brains a little confused about that. So my solution to this is to take very small steps, because when you take smaller steps, you tend to tiptoe past the amygdala. And it almost lets it stay asleep, so that I can start to move forward towards that goal without it noticing. And when I can do that, then I start feeling more comfortable in the doing of that project. And it begins to make it easier and easier for me to make bigger steps and leaps forward towards the goal. So here’s how I do it. I have something that I called Chase, and it’s just an acronym that I use to help me now these chase worksheets. I know this might sound silly, but I use them every day. They’re not complicated. They’re nothing like they’re no like, it’s not going to the moon. He’s a rocket science. But it is a simple worksheet that just really helps me work through this process. So here’s what I do chase the seas for create. So I create where I am right now. So where I am right now I write it at the top of the page like, and all this will be mapped out on that worksheet. So you can just download it and you can follow along. But at the top of the page, where I am right now is I have this idea for this worksheet, this workbook for everybody for 2019. And then way at the bottom of the page, I write what the perfect outcome will be because I have to have a vision for it. Right. So like, what’s the vision of what it is I really want to do. So the vision is that I have this really great workbook that really helps people. It’s easy to print, because I hate that when people create these really amazing workbooks. And then they put them with all these graphics, and you can’t print them makes me crazy town. So it’s really easy to print. And it’s useful. So it’s not just like a bunch of crap you don’t need like it is concise and useful. And it gives you moments where you go, Oh, my gosh, it helps you like, I don’t want to give away all my secrets, because then you might not be interested in it. But I have all these ideas, right? So do you hear my voice, I’m already getting really excited about it. So this is how I know that it’s the right thing, right. So at the bottom, I write that out, like what that really looks like how that feels what it is. So now I have this vision. So now I have a piece of paper. And at the top is where I am at the bottom is where I want to go. And in the middle, I’m going to write and how I do this is I set a timer and this timer is so important. If you do not set the timer, you will come up with a few things that you have already thought of. When you set a timer, it forces your brain to think a little bit deeper. And it also relaxes your brain because it It knows there’s an end point, right? So instead of going like, Are we done, are we done, I think we’re done, I think we’re done, it goes I’m gonna know I’m going to be done when the timer goes off. So I’m going to keep thinking until that happens. So I set a timer for 10 minutes, 10 minutes is a long time. And all I want you to do is write down all the little things you could do that would take you from the top of the page to the bottom of the page. Here’s why this is important. If you can come up with little tiny steps. And I mean, like, you might write something that’s a bigger step. And you realize that actually could be divided into like three or four smaller steps, I want something that’s small, because I want it to be so small that I don’t have any resistance to doing it. Yet, it’s still moving me from the top of the page to the bottom of the page. So I want something that’s so like silly small. So like,

I’ll give you an example. So these are the things that I may write out. If I’m going for on on this workbook, right, I would make a list of five things that I would want to this would be one of my my small steps, make a list of five things that could be included. So that’s a pretty small list like a small thing, I could make a list probably right off the top of my head of five things that would be included. So that feels so small that I don’t feel any resistance to that. Okay, and then the next thing would be so if I’m coming up with small steps, anything that takes me from the top of the page to the bottom of the page, coming out with a layout, looking up

creating the ConvertKit like

the little things, so you can download it right? So that would be a simple, easy thing to do. All these things would take under five minutes. And I would just come up with ways to distribute it, how I could talk about it on a podcast, what some ideas would be what I think could help people the most, where I think people really get stuck, what could be a hashtag can use, do you see what I mean? So I come up with all these little things. Now, I could solve each of those little things that I just said, like, you know, five or 10 minutes, I could come up with a couple of hashtags, what if that’s the only thing I do today? So you’re thinking like, Oh, my God, if you come up with a couple of hashtags today, like, whoop dee doo, but if I’m in, if I’m resisting it, I’m not doing anything. I’m not doing a thing. So coming up with a hashtag is actual progress. And it’s moving me towards and it’s changing the way my brain is thinking about the thing. So I set my timer, and I do 10 minutes of coming up with all the little steps that would take me from the top of the page to the bottom of the page. And then H is for help. So then I’m going to go through and I’m going to circle all of the things where I could help Barca get help, where can i delegate it? Like, ideally, what am I try to delegate all of it? And even if you’re thinking like, I don’t have money to delegate all that stuff? Or I can’t delegate it, it’s not nobody else can do it. That’s okay. Find the places where you could delegate it. If you were a billionaire, where would you delegate? Honestly, I bet you could delegate way more than you think. So I’ll circle even if I’m not going to delegate it, I’ll circle it. Because it’ll make it obvious to me that this is some place where I could outsource. It’s also training my brain to look for ways I could delegate. And if you want to build something bigger, it’s easier if you have some help, right? So no matter what you’re doing, where could you send this out to a teammate? Where could you have your kid help you with this, you know, you can use this for personal stuff, too. Like, it doesn’t have to be a business thing. Okay. So then, the a and Chase is for assist is how I use it. So I look for ways for the things on there where I would need to learn something else. So if I’m doing a big project, like sometimes I got to learn something else.

When I was doing this podcast, and

I decided I wanted to do the podcast, I did a chase worksheet. In fact, I think I still have it because I have like a giant folder full of all my chase worksheets. But it was I had to learn how to use the software. So I had to go to YouTube. So that was like a bigger thing. So I highlight that so I know. So now when I’m looking at my list of small things, I have all this whole list that I’ve created in 10 minutes, I have

things circled.

So I know those are things I could delegate, and I have things highlighted that I know are things that are like would take more work, right where I have to learn something new.

So the things that are left

are gonna be things that I could small steps, I could start in, you know, 510 minutes. So all I have to do is pick one. So the s in Chase is first start, all I have to do is pick one, and if I can do one right off,

so I’ve created momentum,

now, I’ve got momentum going, it might not feel like a lot of momentum, but the fact that you’ve thought through this project is momentum. So take one small step and put it on your calendar to do it. If you can do it right, then do it right then if you have to put it on your calendar for later in the day or first thing in the morning. The trick is to keep adding the small steps into your day. Even if you just do one a day, you’re moving forward, where before you were not. So as you’re moving forward, now the E and Chase is for evaluate. And I use this. I like to evaluate my week at the beginning of the week. I see what worked, I look back, what worked, what didn’t work, where can I change things. Sometimes I’ll reevaluate the chase worksheet, I’ll add new things. I’ll realize

other things I could delegate, right because I have learned,

I’ve changed I’ve grown in a week. And if I don’t evaluate, if I wait a month, I could be off the beaten path. I could be off track. Think about when you start a new year’s resolution. And then it’s like, you’re not like following up yet. You’re not keeping track every day, what happens a day goes by two days goes by, right? So it’s cool that happens, life happens. But if you evaluate every week,

then you can bring yourself back on track

your human being like you’re not going to be perfect, but you can bring yourself back on track and that’s part of growth and change and learning and doing new things. So I offer you the chase worksheet. If that is you, you have to have this moment where you’re being honest with yourself. Am I using my intuition to serve me? Am I using my intuition to guide me and to work through and to follow the breadcrumbs or am I using it as an excuse


to bypass stuff

to not take action to sit where I am, to not do this hard stuff, the fearful stuff this scary stuff. You got to get really honest with yourself about what you’re doing, why you’re doing it. And if you want to live a big life, I believe this is where you can begin. You guys have an awesome week. Thanks so much for listening. I hope that this served you and if it does, please share it with your friends. I appreciate it so much and it’s helped the show grow and hopefully helped impact more people which is really like cool, and that helps me live a big life. So thanks for listening in. As

always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.