Episode 139 : Today I talk about some key shifts to create a 2019 that is not impacted with the same patterns and habits that 2018 and every year before it has had.
It’s about creating a new level of being on a subconscious level and moving forward from a new space of identity.
Join me in No Limits this coming year at www.betsypake.com/nolimits
Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. So today’s episode is right on the cusp of 2019. So we are jammin here getting ready for the new year. Here’s the thing, I get really excited about the new year. And I know a lot of people like set, they have resolutions, and they do all this thing. But tell me, I just like any kind of fresh start. So whether it’s a new week, or a new month, a new quarter, a new year, especially So to me, this is like a really fun time, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, past Christmas going into New Years. Because all of the hopes and dreams and ideas that I have in my head, I can have new hope. And I can create a better outcome for myself. And it’s almost like, it’s like a refresh. But it’s also this chance to look back and see really how many good things happen to you in the past year. Now, you may have had a bad year I I’m gonna say something about that. Because I feel like every year people are like, Oh, my God, this year is gonna end. And I get it.
I’ve had some tough years too.
But when I look back, and I can really see all of the transition and all of the things that I learned and all of the new experiences that I had, it makes me really grateful for where I’ve been and how far I’ve come. And then it makes me really excited to do even better in the new year, right to take it even further in the new year. So I wanted to talk to you a little bit about that. Because the more and more that I work with people in my coaching programs, the more I realized that we sort of have things upside down. So I want to talk to you really about four steps to be able to shift so that you can make this new year the best year that you’ve ever had. And we’re going to do things differently than maybe you’ve done in the past. And there’s a real reason for that. You know, I’ve talked about this before on the show, but we live really based on default, our subconscious is running the show. And this is a drum that I beat all the time. But 95% of everything that you do is based on just subconscious patterns and habits. So you have this 5% consciousness that’s maybe really excited about the new year, and maybe has really good plans and good ideas for what’s to come. But the reality of your situation is that you’re not going to fall too far off course, from where you’ve been patterned unless you do something radically different. And by radically different. I mean doing things differently than all the Guru’s tell you to do for like setting up goals and doing SMART goals and doing all those things it’s got, you’ve got to turn it on its head. And so I want to talk about that and kind of give you some steps that you could do in order to start to do things a little bit differently this year. So, you know, I was reading something recently, it was a study that talked about our brains and about how even when we’re driving down the road, like I’m always drive, you know, to go to the I go to the same grocery store, typically all the time I go to the same places I you know, I drive and pick up my kid and do those same pattern things. And the other day I was driving, and all of a sudden I was like, there’s a building there. Like I have never noticed that building there. Like how did that when did that go up? Like, when did that get built? I was sort of dumbfounded by it. In fact, I was with my kid, and we were talking about it. And then we like turned this corner. And there is a street that we drive all the time. And on that street is this house and the house is behind a huge fence. That is like a I don’t know how to describe it like a wire fence. Right? And there’s like some boards. I’m going to give you the kind of rundown of this. There’s these boards that are like put up against the house. And the house always seemed kind of rundown and dilapidated. And then it had like these separate outhouses and they were covered like in blue tarp a lot of times there was always lots of cars behind the fence and sometimes they would have covered Cars, like random weird cars for sale out front. And you can’t really see in it’s sort of like up this little hill. And every time we go by, like for years, I say to my daughter, like, if I ever go missing, the first place you need to go is to this house. It just seems sketchy to me. Okay? So we drive, I’m like, Where did that building come from? She’s like, that’s really weird. We literally turn on to this street where that houses that we’ve been talking about for years, but now I’ve seen that building, right. So I’m looking at the world a little bit differently, cuz I’m like, holy crap, I didn’t even see that thing being built, turn the corner, and she goes, Mom, the houses gone. So that house that we drive by all the time that is so creepy, which was the place she was gonna go to find me when I got abducted, is now just gone. Like it’s flattened, it’s been gone, and all of the stuff is gone. So it’s not like it burned down and just the houses there, or it’s not like they were taking it down. And there’s boards that I mean, it has been long enough where they have actually removed everything. So now it’s just like this piece of land.
So back to this study that I saw that said that most of the time, when we move through the world, we actually are moving based on a memory. So if I go down that road all the time, my brain likes to be efficient. And it goes like I don’t even need to look at this, like this is all the same. So all these things were happening. And I literally didn’t notice, because my brain was just filtering it out and showing me what I was used to seeing. And probably driving down the road, I might not even be seeing the actual road, I might be seeing my memory of the road. I know until something happens, right? until something happens, that catches your attention until a squirrel runs out in the road or somebody makes a weird turn in front of you, or the house is missing. So when all of this was happening, and we were mesmerized by it, and we were laughing, and I was like even though I know this, and I had seen this study it, it made it so real and almost creepy, right? So I’ve started to wonder like, where else in my life Am I doing this, and we’re all doing this, right? So it’s not like I’m like a person that doesn’t pay attention to things, but we’re all doing it. So you know, maybe there are things you wish your boss did differently. And maybe they’re doing them differently. But you’re so used to looking for the, for the evidence of the other things that you can’t even see any of the new behaviors. Or maybe your spouse is trying to do things differently, but you keep seeing the things that they always did, right. And so as we get here to New Years, and you want to create something new, you’ve got to do things radically different because otherwise, your brain simply defaults for efficiency, and safety, to show you the same stuff over and over and over again. And if you want to create something new, and you want to really move outside of the parameters of where you’ve been, you, you can’t you have to interrupt that pattern, right, you can’t keep living like that. Because then you’ll always just keep living sort of within the bounds of where you are. If you’re really happy with where you are, that’s cool. But most people I know, they want to grow, they want to change, and they want to have new experiences. They want to be able to accomplish new things. So let’s look at that. So here’s one thing that you need to do to interrupt this pattern,
you know, when we set up our new year’s resolutions, what do we do is we go,
I’m going to change, I want to lose weight, right? So this is one that’s really common. And you know how people always, always people often will last like 15 to 20 days, and then they go back to their old patterns, right? This is exactly why it’s because it is a pattern, you’re not even seeing the other way. But here’s what happens. I want to lose weight. So what do I do? Think about it, like maybe this is you. And so you’ve looked up like maybe a new diet, or a new program to follow. Or maybe you’ve thought about some different things you could do in your house, like maybe getting a treadmill or having an exercise plan, right. So you’ve thought about this, and all of that is really good. I’m not saying don’t do that. I’m just saying that when your focus is on your behaviors, and your environment. It’s a pattern of failure. It’s a pattern of going right back to your old ways because changing your environment and changing your behavior. is changing yourself on a conscious level, which is your 5%. So if you only change 5%, and the moment that you are not thinking, I’m gonna lose weight, I’m really focused, I’m motivated, and you’re not in that moment of being motivated, what happens is you default to the 95%. And you’re completely unaware. And you don’t see all the things that you would need to see, or the things that you see when you’re in the 5%. And you’re really in the moment and you’re really excited, and you’re really planning and you really have hopes and dreams and a vision. So you default to this 95%. And go back to your old patterns. It’s not because you’re a bad person, it’s not because you’re not motivated. It’s not because you’re not disciplined, or you can’t be consistent. There’s none of that. It’s because you’re operating from the 5% and not the 95%. And so you need to shift to operate from the 95%. And there’s a whole different way to create processes to create your goals to create the activities that you do, so that you are living and changing from the 95%. So if you think about it, and I may have told this story before, but when I was a competitive athlete, and I and I competed for Olympic style lifting, right, so I did the snatch and the
clean and jerk, and
I would work out at home. And like every time every day, I would do my workouts at home. And I was really very disciplined. And I was aware of my food and all of my things. And when we would go on vacation, I would look before we went to find out where I was going to work out. So it was a default for me because I was an athlete, right, I had a goal. And I had a competition coming. And I was focused on that. So I didn’t even it wasn’t even about motivation. It was just who I was. So now, we were talking about going away for New Years. And our height didn’t even think about looking for a place to work out. I didn’t even think I bring workout clothes, right? Because I’m I’m shift I’ve shifted the way that I think now I’d like to get back to that way of thinking. But my point is, when it becomes who you really are, is when you don’t even need motivation, you don’t even need the governor’s in the parameters that you may need when you’re trying to change something at a conscious level. And that, to me is the effort. Like that is so much work. It’s exhausting,
So you need to flip that upside down. So you’re working on your goals from a different place. All right, the other is that you have to obey the other laws of manifesting. So many times we go, Okay, so we hear about the law of attraction all the time. And so we’re like, I’m gonna live by the law of attraction, I’m going to do things and I’m going to do the visualizing and feel the feelings and do the things. But there are a whole lot of other laws going into effect
that are going to impact you.
And so if you’re not aware of what those other laws are, it can really throw you off kilter. Right? So then you’re like, why isn’t this working? I’m doing the things, Why is it taking so long, but when you can become aware of all of the other laws, then suddenly you can work with it, then you can work within a different sort of essence of the whole thing. So now, it’s not just the law of attraction, it’s not just like, I have to do this thing. But when things come up, things come up that aren’t things I was focused on manifesting when things come up that seem hard, or when things come up that seem uncomfortable, then I can go, ooh, these are the other laws that I know. And I could, this might be this one, and I can shift this way, right, I can make a, I can make an adjustment to what I’m doing. Or I can say that’s a really good clue that I’m on the right path. But if you’re only looking at the law of attraction, you’re only kind of filtering everything through a filter that isn’t in totality, it’s just showing you one little piece. All right, the third thing that you need to do is you have to release the cycle, that I have a result, and then my result creates this belief, right? So I want to lose weight and I lose a couple pounds and so I have a belief now that I can do it. And then that belief kind of sets up my potential right what I’m I think I’m worthy of or what I believe I can do. And then that changes my behavior. Well what happens when we have a big goal or we have something we really want to shift in our lives, and the results don’t come? What happens is it changes Is your belief, right? It changes your belief in yourself, it changes what you think you’re capable of, when that’s really not the case. So you have to have a plan and a system to be able to stop that pattern of my results, create my beliefs. Because when your results, create your your beliefs, it’s going to impact your actions. And when you impact your actions in a way that don’t support what you really want, it becomes a cycle of constantly feeling like you’re failing, constantly feeling like you just can’t figure it out, constantly feeling like I tried, but I don’t know. It’s just not working. I guess it’s not for me. And when I work with my clients, one of the saddest things to me is when they get to the point where when they finally come to me, they’re like, I guess this just isn’t for me, I guess I’m not supposed to do this, I’m trying to figure out what I am supposed to do. And it’s not that they’re not supposed to do, it’s just that they have been doing it wrong. Right, they’ve been looking at it from the wrong end, they’ve got to flip it upside down. And they have to stop and break that pattern of the results to the belief, because that’s what impacts the potential and the behavior. And then the final one is you need to understand what drives you and how to actually make that work. So I’ve talked before on the show, and you’ve probably heard this before, like people either are going after a carrot, right, they’re either like really working towards something, or they’re running away from something. And the problem with this is that as people are running away from things, which is what we do, so often, something’s uncomfortable, we wish we weren’t broke, we wish we weren’t bad. We wish we had a better relationship,
like all of these things. As we start working toward something, we’ll get some relief, right, we get a little bit of relief, we lose four pounds. And if our genes feel better, right, so we get this little bit of relief. And then what happens, we slip back into our old patterns, because we’ve only changed on a conscious level and consciously, we feel better. And so then we start the whole cycle over again. So when you can really understand how you’re motivated and how to work with that in a totally different way. So that you’re actually using it to propel you on a subconscious level. That is when you start to make huge shifts. And that’s when you start to gain momentum. And that’s when it doesn’t feel like efforting It feels more like flow, right. And we’ve talked about that a lot on the show. But things can feel more like flow, when you’re actually moving in the way that your subconscious wants you to move. And that kind of feeds that behavior in you so that you’re doing the behaviors and doing the things effortlessly. And it feels fun, and it feels like you’re getting results. So as you look at your goals for 2019. Or if you’re listening to this later on anytime, you know I like to refresh and do this every quarter or every, every Monday. I mean, every Sunday night, typically I’ll look at my goals and what’s working, evaluate what’s working, what’s not working. And then how can I shift? And how can I look at these other laws? How can I change my subconscious? How can I start to shift all these things in a way that really supports me and my actions? Okay, so I’ve had a lot of people reach out to me that were interested in one on one coaching, and I only taking a very small number of clients, you may have heard me talk on the show before about how I’m focused on helping other people build their coaching business. So if they’re a coach or a healer or a consultant, or something where they’re making a ripple in the world, I wanted to help them make a ripple bigger, faster. But But what I decided as I was getting messages, are you taking new clients for 2019 is that it’s a really, really good time to jump into what I call no limits. So no limits is my group coaching program that will help you shift your subconscious. So I teach all these things. And more inside, we help to release a lot of past emotions, we hope to reset you up so that you’re working from a state of mind that actually supports your hopes and dreams, we’re going to identify our dreams in a totally new way this year, no limits. And we’re going to work towards it. So it’s for group coaching, where I’m teaching and then there’s a fifth class, that’s just a q&a at the end. And so there’s going to be some work for you to do in the meantime. And it’s going to be just a really fun class where we’re going to help to make huge shifts, so that you can actually learn this pattern. And then you can apply it over and over and over again. So yeah, we’re gonna have a goal that we work on for 2019 to like, kick us off. But this is the pattern and a process that you can just do over and over and over again. So if you’re interested in joining So no limits, we’re going to be starting on January 10. So it’s the it’s four sessions, we’re going to be starting on January 10, they will be recorded. So if you can’t be there live, they’ll still be recorded. And you can watch. And I’ve learned a lot from the last time that I ran no limits, but I got really good feedback. People loved the class, and they learned a lot, and they shifted some things. And so I want to invite you to join us this this year for no limits. So if you if you’d like to do that, I’ll put a link in the show notes. But you can go to my website, which is Betsy pake.com, backslash, no limits, and you can join us there. So there is a couple different options for payments that are going up. So if you just see one at this moment, there’s another one that’s coming, that will be able to break it down. So if you had thought about doing coaching, but maybe one on one coaching was out of your price range, this is going to be a really great way for you to look at things and to set yourself up to have an extraordinary 2019. So I hope that you’ll join us in no limits. I think it’s gonna be really fun, and I’m looking forward to helping all of you shifts
in a totally new way.
So thanks for listening. I’ll see you guys next week. And as always, here’s the little message from my husband.