142: Building Resilience - Betsy Pake

142: Building Resilience


Episode 142:  This week on the show I talk about resilience, moving through the hard stuff and staying on track pushing through to your dreams.

I hope that it serves you.


You’re listening to Episode 142 of The Art of Living bag. All right, so today’s show was, so here’s the thing is that I have like this list as things come to me, I’m like, Oh, I could talk about that I could talk about that on the show.

And then today, I sat down, and I was like, none of this really feels good to talk about. So I thought, I’m just gonna do a quick meditation, see if it kind of clears my head and see what comes up. And so that’s what I did. So I hope that this shows serves you, we’re going to talk a little bit about resilience and keeping going even when things aren’t going the way you think.

Because I’ll tell you things never go the way you think, just doesn’t work out that way. And so if we can kind of release, the need to be perfect, right, and the need to like, move through everything perfectly and have no problems never fall down and don’t fail. And if we do fail, it’s magical. Right? That ain’t the way it really works. So I’ve got some thoughts for you today.

I hope that it serves you. I want to also let you know, that no limits this month has been really, really cool. We’ve got some good stuff cooking. And if you’re interested just in getting on the list for the pre notifications, I’m probably gonna run it again like late spring. So if you want to be on that list, then go ahead and just go to my website. Go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, no limits and just put yourself on the waitlist, so no pressure to join us when it’s time, but that way, you’ll get the early release stuff. So

Alright, you guys, let’s go to this show.

Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible

for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. All right. So in beach,

I did a little

meditation. And so now we’re here, what is it that you need to hear? So whenever we start something new, when we’re starting the New Year, or you start new plans, or you have new ideas for stuff, you know, you get going and you’re super focused, and you tend to see some changes right in the beginning. And then what happens is that things sort of reach a lull, right things dip down, and things kind of get to where they feel normal.

Now, it could be that this moment is the same moment that you had before where things felt really great. But you start to get used to it. So the really great becomes normal. And it doesn’t seem quite as exciting anymore. And it doesn’t seem as if you’re really making the progress you want it to. And so you sort of swing backwards, it’s almost like a pendulum, right.

So I swing forward, I get some momentum. But then I kind of swing backwards into old patterns and the old way that things have been. And mostly that’s because that’s what feels really comfortable. Like, my brain really likes that. And I think of my brain like being a record player. And I put the needle down and then record just plays and plays, it plays based on the grooves that are already there.

Right. And so if those grooves are really deep, like if those group grooves are years and years and years old, with patterns that you’ve performed over and over and over again, it’s going to be really hard to uproot, and get out of those grooves. So even when we start to make that momentum, even when the pendulum shifts, we find ourselves sort of swinging back. And that may be where you are right now. Right? So it’s like sort of the 10th almost it is at the 10th of January.

And so, you know, we’ve made some shifts, but now is when things start to kind of go haywire. And, and this can be really frustrating. And I see people struggle with it. And it hurts me because it’s not because you’re not motivated enough. And it’s not because you’re not a good enough person or a strong enough person.

You know, it’s not even because you don’t deserve it. It’s none of that. It’s just simply these grooves. And so what happens is we tend to place our future on what’s happened to us in the past. So our subconscious has are like we’re in the right now, which is our consciousness, but we’ve got our subconscious which has got our past, right, it’s holding and housing, all of our past experiences and all of the things that have happened to us and how we felt about those things.

And then it’s also got my future. So my subconscious actually houses my future. And so that might seem kind of odd, but I just like if you go to work every day, I just want you to ask yourself what’s tomorrow gonna be like, like, think about your day. How To be start to finish, I bet you have a really good idea. Because just based on your past, and that’s how your subconscious actually builds your future for you.

And so I can live in default like I can, I don’t have to be the kind of person like that you are that you’re trying to discover something new and trying to live in a new way and trying to uplevel and trying to uproot old patterns, like I don’t have to do that I can just live totally in default, and just go about my day to day, and my life will stay pretty consistent.

So if I really want to make those changes, and that might be where you are right now, like I’ve made these changes, but I feel this strange pole. Right, this urge to go back to my old patterns. Why is that? And how do I stop that? Well, the main thing is that it’s because it’s in my subconscious. And I’ve talked before about using those moments, those little moments like before you fall asleep, and when you wake up in the morning, those first like 10 minutes when you wake up before you even get out of bed.

But you’re sort of laying there, you know where you’re like this is like, like every day, I’m like this, I think note today, today is the most comfortable bed I’ve ever been in like I thought it was yesterday. But it’s actually today, those are the moments where my brainwaves are at a different cycle. And I can actually access my subconscious really, really easily. Now,

I’ve been doing some new things with my business recently. And the last few days, I’ve noticed, right when I wake up, I have like this terrible feeling in my stomach, which is really weird, because I’ve been waking up like really extraordinarily happy. But the past like three or four days and waking up and I have this like terrible feeling in my stomach.

So why why is that happening? Why do you wake up in a bad mood? or Why do you wake up in a good mood. And it’s really just what you’re thinking about, that’s creating this chemical reaction that’s creating the emotion, right. So the emotions in my head, the chemical reaction is in my body, and I get this awful feeling in my stomach, which is really just a pattern.

It’s really just something again, that I’m pulling from the past. So I have this idea of this, like, you know, these new things I want to try with my business. But I’ve tried new things before, I have tried new things in my business before that I’ve worked brilliantly. And I’ve tried new things in my business that haven’t worked at all. But my brain wants to protect me.

And so it’s pulling from those past experiences. So just me being aware of that is going to make a difference. Because as soon as I wake up, and I have that awful feeling, I just begin this rampage of reminding myself of the truth, which is that I can decide my future, I can pick new things, I can choose what I focus on, I don’t have to live in the past, I can create a new future, every single thing that I do is going to make a difference today could be the day where everything shifts and changes.

And so this morning, when I got up and I got about my day, I actually tried to really be aware, like I was really looking around, really looking at my toothbrush and all of the little things on you know, by my sink, I have like a little marble tray and with my girly things. I’m not very girly, but I do have some girly things, lotions and potions on this little tray.

And so I try to like really look at it. Like what’s there? Like, who is who is that? That owns these things. And then I got, you know, I went upstairs and fed my animals and did all those things like our regular routine, right? And you have your regular routine that you do. But I became more aware, almost like I was an alien. And this was the very first time that I was ever, ever seeing this life. And what would I see. Now that may sound sort of silly, it’s kind of a fun experiment, but it makes you aware.

And so it starts to make you aware of what you’re thinking and makes you aware of what your patterns are. So if you’re done pulling from the past, and you want to start to create a new future, in the morning, use those 10 minutes to really start to implant what it is you want to believe. What would be the beliefs of a person who does the things you want to do?

Because they’re different than the beliefs you’ve had. You’ve had beliefs about who you are, and that’s what brought you right to this moment where you are. And so if you want to create something new, you’ve got to create the new beliefs and then start to believe them and you start to believe them by implanting them and by noticing who you really are. right because we can’t change anything if we don’t notice it.

And so,

I offer that to you. Because I think that a lot of us right now are in that sort of in between that I’ve started something, but I’m feeling myself being pulled back. You know, I started this year just really trying to be aware of my food and everything I was eating and, you know, adding in more vegetables and fruits and eating an apple every day.

And I noticed I was starting to get pulled back to an old eating pattern. It wasn’t because I didn’t care. It didn’t, it wasn’t even because my motivation was down. It was just because that was a habit. So that became really easy. And so that became sort of a default. And I found myself as I was trying to figure out what I was going to eat, like just going off, just have that because you always have zekiel bread and peanut butter, it’s fine. But that’s just a pattern. So it doesn’t I can choose it or not choose it.


just because something is a pattern, and something is the way I’ve always done, it doesn’t mean even when I feel called to it, it doesn’t mean that I have to make that choice or that decision. And sometimes when I tell myself, I’m redefining this, I’m redefining my path, my patterns. And being aware, I’m going to switch, I’m going to change I’m unearthing

the groove in my record player,

that helps, it helps my little subconscious relax and go, Oh, it’s safe. It’s okay. We’re doing this on purpose. And so sometimes walking through your world purposefully can help give you a new perspective and a new way to see things. So I offer that to you today. As my

thoughts from the meditation cushion.

And, you know,

notice yourself, see what your paths what your groups really are. Walk around your life as if you are an alien and decide what needs to be different. what needs to change? And how can I go about making that change today? Don’t wait. Don’t wait, don’t think I’m going to do it on Monday, or I’m going to start it’s actually every moment, you can start.

And you know, I use the diet one a lot, because that’s one a lot of people can relate to. But you know, if you’ve gone off your diet and you had a plan, you you actually don’t have to wait till tomorrow. You actually can start right now. And maybe it is maybe it’s with your business, maybe it’s with your relationships, maybe it’s with your children, whatever it is where you’re like I was going to do that. Now I’ve already gone off the path. And so I’m just going to start tomorrow, how often do we do that? I’m going to start, I’m just going to start fresh, like I do that?

I am the queen of that.

So I can tell you from experience that when I started to shift to go, what about if I made that fresh start right now, go to find me that shift right now, what it actually can do is actually trains your brain that you don’t have to wait. And so then when you do that, you know I used to train I used to, I used to own a CrossFit gym, you might know that about me.

But after I sold the CrossFit gym and right at the end of when I owned the CrossFit gym, I would coach people with their nutrition, I’m precision nutrition certified. And that was one of the things that I did, I was a competitive weightlifter and I worked with athletes, okay. So when they would come to me, and they would have, like, driven off the path of their program.

They’re programmed nutrition. I knew like I would know within the first week of having a client if they were gonna succeed or fail. And it wasn’t that one of them was like a better person than the other or more resilient than the other wasn’t that one of them wanted it more than the other. You know, one of them had more money than the other like none of that.

The way I knew is because they got right back on the plan, even if it was in the middle of the day. So they would say like, I went out to lunch for a friend’s birthday, I ended up having the birthday cake and oh my gosh, I can’t believe I did that totally veered off, but I got right back on and I stuck to it for the rest of the day. And then I just started the next day with new numbers.

Winners, right, because life is not gonna always be perfect. And life isn’t gonna always work out the way you want. In fact, it very rarely will work out the way you’re gonna map it out, especially at the beginning of the year. Right? It’s just not going to work that way. And so being able to adapt and to be able to make those changes and to be able to jump back on.

Jump back in, get back in the game right off. You know, you’ve probably heard this before, but I think it’s worth saying because it’s such a good visual. And I have lots of friends that have kids, and when they’re learning how to walk and I remember my own kid doing this. Like what Learning how to walk. And I remember, she was learning how to walk and she would fall. And when little kids fall, they fall like, they just end up sitting down. It’s like, I mean, sometimes they fall flat on their faces. I do remember that.

I do remember all of doing that. But mostly, like, they kind of sit and they sit on their butt. But what do they do? Like, be immediately like, they hardly even catch their breath, and they just roll forward and try to get back up on their feet again, right? They don’t go, oh, man, I really, I was trying to walk. But I guess that’s not for me. Like you notice the little kid do that? I guess it’s not for me. But how often do we do that? I was gonna lose the weight. But I don’t know, I guess it’s just how I am.

I guess this is just how I’m supposed to be. I was gonna do that with my business. I really wanted to be an entrepreneur, but I didn’t work. And I don’t know, I just I guess it’s not for me. It’s okay. I’ll just go back to work. Right? Like, how often do you do that with your goals? I was gonna I wanted this relationship to work out. But I, I don’t know, I just, it’s not for me. Probably is for you if you wanted it. So the winners are the people that get back up and go and go and go and go and go try again and try again, try again.

And you know, I say this lots of times to my coaching clients, especially my clients that come to me, that are coaches, and they want to learn how to get more clients and make more profit and be stress free. You know, and they say, like, I don’t know, like, maybe this isn’t for me, I’ve just been having trouble, right? When they first come to me, I don’t know. And I’m like, the only difference between me and you is that I’ve failed a lot, like all the time, all the time.

And there’s people that are listening that have failed more than me, and are farther along than me on the path or the journey if we’re on the same path or journey, or your own path or journey like failure. But strategic failure, right? So not just like failing and going oh, well, like a little kid falls down and their their bodies go Wait a second, I gotta move more to the left.

I gotta move they they make adjustments, right? So if you’re constantly failing, especially if you’re an entrepreneur, please come and find me. Because if you’re constantly failing, but you don’t have a way to decode it, like that can hold you back. Right? That can be a problem. So as we get going, and where have you know, midway through 2019, midway through January of 2000, which is really, you’ve probably heard this, most people give up on the resolutions by the 21st, which is why I’m sort of saying midway midway to like, where people go at, not for me,

what if you made it till the 30th? What if you were like, this might not be for me, but I’m going to just try to get to the 30th Do you know that would make a difference? It actually would, it would make a difference.

Because you’d be training your brain that you keep going. I just keep trying, I don’t have to make this perfect. I’m just going to keep trying. So I have been adding in my workouts getting back into my CrossFit and I said to my husband yesterday, I’m going to get my five workouts in this week.

I don’t care if it’s not perfect. I don’t care if it’s not always in the morning. And I don’t care. If I skip, and I eat like crap on Saturday, like, I’m gonna try to stick to it right. But I was like, I don’t care. I just want to make through the next five days. And then today, I was like, I just need to make it through today. I just need to like, get my workout in this morning, which I did.

And like make it through today. I don’t have to make it through August. Like, I don’t need to do that. I just need to make it through today. And then tomorrow and I set a little mini goal five days. So keep this in mind that it is the resilience. It’s the person who’s resourceful. How do I figure this out? How do I get back up and keep trying to walk?

You don’t have to be perfect. Nobody picks something and sticks to it and does perfect. Nobody does. So if you have a dream or a goal, find it. stick to it. Teach your subconscious that you don’t give up. Get busy. That’s what I think defines a really big life. So thanks for listening, and I will see you guys next week. Oh, and as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.