152: How to go from wanting to having - Betsy Pake

152: How to go from wanting to having


Episode 152:

Today I talk about taking wanting to having! I hope that it serves you.

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Good morning, everybody. Oh, wait, this is Episode 152 of The Art of Living big. Okay, I’m so professional on this show, aren’t I? Alright, thank you for coming on and listening to my show today. Okay, so today, I’m pretty excited, we’re going to talk about one thing, right? If you are in a state of wanting and thirsty for the thing that you cannot have, and you can’t seem to bring into your existence, whether it is a relationship, or money, or the beach, or whatever it is for you, this is the show for you.

So if you liked this show, and you found it helpful, and you feel like it’s starting to shift the way you’re thinking, which is so important, please share it with some friends, because we want everybody to get this message. And to start living a life, it is really time, I believe, for our planet to start to uplevel. And to do that we’ve got to come together.

And you know, one of my favorite things is when a friend sends me a podcast, I listen. I mean, I like almost drop everything. If a friend thinks that I should be listening to something. I’m like, Oh, I gotta listen. So please share it, if you share it on Instagram, tag me because that is my love language. And I get very excited. And I throw virtual confetti all over the place. So if you have not joined our Facebook group, be sure to jump in there the art of living, big calm.

And remember, I have a free training on my website. If you go to Betsy Pake calm, I help you understand the five shifts that my clients take to go from crisis to transformation, right? So many times I think we get it twisted that we think oh my god, I’m going through a crisis. This is the worst thing ever. But I believe that that is how we grow.

Right? So when we’re in this little bubble, we’re in our bubble, and this is our life and this little bubble life. And then we start to expand, and how do we expand because something happens that jars us out of our little bubble, right? So it feels painful, it feels like a crisis, it feels like total overwhelm, right? And then we’ve got a loop, like expand the bubble to include this new learning. And that is where the transformation happens.

You know, if you’ve listened to the show for a long time, you know, I’ve talked about my daughter and total crisis, and the biggest, one of the biggest transformations of my wife and I know of her life for sure. So it sucked, and it was difficult. And we did it. And we expanded and we grew and I never could be here if I had not gone through that.

And so inside that training, I really go over the five steps that I had to go through and that I now go through with all of my clients to help them create a totally new reality. People that go through that. It’s incredible, the changes that that people go through my clients that actually go through this process to recreate a new life for themselves.

So if you’re interested in that, you can find it. It’s right on my website right on the front, Betsy Pake calm. And now, I will be quiet and we will go go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in manifesting from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed

to help you think differently

about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to the show. So today, I have my coffee, which doesn’t make it a coffee talk episode, it makes it every episode. Alright, so what I want to talk to you today is about wanting, you know that thing you want or that experience that you want.

And you’ve probably thought about how you want it, you’ve probably said I really want this, maybe you have a vision board full of things you want. So how come you’re not getting them? And what I say is it is because you want it, which seems so counterintuitive, and I know you’ve already heard this, but I’m going to say it hopefully in different ways so that you understand it in a totally different way. I did an Instagram post on this this past week, just kind of touching on this, and it got a lot of response.

So I want to dive into this a little bit deeper. So here’s what the problem is. Here’s the problem. When we want we are in a state of not having it. And you all know that like attracts like. So in order to get what you want. You have to be in a state of having it and so that can be a lot easier said than done.

So how do I actually move from being in this wanting state which might be like a really thirsty State, it might be like a state of like, I’ve really got to have this thing to a state of, I’m actually getting this thing. So on my Instagram, this is what I said, I said about one thing. So that evening I had, I had gotten hungry.

And so I was like, I really want something to eat. So I got up and I went to the kitchen, and I looked, actually, I opened the frigerator and stared for five minutes, and then decided what I was going to get. And then I started to fix it, and then I ate it. So I didn’t go from the wanting to the eating, I went from the wanting to the getting.

And so what we’re going to talk about today is actually living in that state of getting, instead of living in that thirsty state of wanting. Now, if you think about the word and you know, I’m a big fan of words, right? So if we think about the actual word wanting, and I go to the dictionary, which I love, I, I do not use the online dictionary, I have a dictionary that I love, because I love words, and they are a vibration.

And when I say them out loud, it causes an actual physical vibration in the world. So my words are very important. And you might be thinking like, it’s just a word, like we made it up anyway. Yep, we made him up. And we assigned a meaning to it. And that meaning has been embedded in your subconscious.

Since you were at bitty baby. And you heard people talk and say words all around you. So they have an energy to them. That is not just the word. It’s not just a gumball, a book of letters and sounds coming out together, it actually has a vibration and it actually has meaning assigned to it. Alright, so then let’s go to watts.

So let’s just break it down and go to want. So here’s what it says for want. Want is actually a desire to possess or do lack of or be short of a lack or shortage, poverty. And then also a desire for something. So the synonyms or desire, so we’re going to get into that another synonym for one is lack, lack absence, non existence, dearth, deficiency, inadequacy, insufficiency, shortage, scarcity, need poverty. So every time I’m like, I want the beach really what I’m saying is, I lack the beach I absence the beach non existence, beach, need beach,


Like, can’t ever have the beach

because I can never go from want

to have, I’ve got to live in the get, okay. So I think you get that, you get the whole thing that wants. So then you’re like, Alright, Bo want is a word that we use. And that’s how I’ve been trained to describe what it is I want, right? Because that’s the word we use. And when we’re in school, that’s the word we use. And so it’s okay, I want you to just let go of the need to like hyper control and, and beat yourself up and feel like disappointed every time you say the word want.

When you notice that you say the word want from now on from this point forward, we’re gonna go ahead and believe that that is perfect, because that is you noticing you’re saying the word want. Okay? So now when you hear the word want, you’re going to rejoice, you’re going to be really excited and go, Oh, guess what I’m going to move into get I have a choice.

Right? So now we’re clear on want, we’re clear that want is going to leave us in a place of lack want is going to be something that I can switch. And when I noticed that I say one I’m I have the ability to reframe that. And notice that I am progressing to a state of getting. Okay, so now let’s get into getting. So here’s the thing about getting, when I am getting something, it has an end, right because I am getting I’m in the process of the get, which means that there is an ending there is the conclusion.

At the end, I will get the thing that I am getting. And that’s a really important distinction. And again, going back to all of the meaning that we place on words in the vibration of it, it’s super important because when I am getting what it is that I used to want, I am in the process of actually bringing it to me. And that might be a process of energetically bringing it to me, it might be a process of working toward something. You know, it might be the process of following the breadcrumbs.

You’ve heard me say that before, right? So following those breadcrumbs and noticing the little actions that I need to take. So all of this is in Not a process of just wishing and hoping. It’s not a process of like, Oh, I desire that thing. And so it must happen, right? It is a process of getting. So you notice even just getting his action.

So we’re on this physical plane. And so getting into action is really important. So when we are in the getting this might be taking any kind of action when people come to me and they’re stuck. Take any kind of action does two things. When you get into action, it actually propels you to have contrast. So how do I follow breadcrumbs, I get contrast, I go, that feels good, that doesn’t

feel good. I’m going to keep doing that thing

that feels good. Those are the breadcrumbs.

So breadcrumbs don’t have to be like, I’m seeing a brochure for a new condo on the beach that are selling for $25,000. Like, it doesn’t have to be like that. It can be like, I’m, I’m thinking about this beach, and I’m hearing stories about that beach. And that beach sounds better. To me, that sounds more fun. And that beach doesn’t sound as fun.

Do you see what I’m saying. So I’m, I am understanding the contrast, I’m maybe going to a beach and I’m understanding the contrast, I’m noticing what feels good to me and what feels bad to me, or not as good. And here’s the thing. This is why your path is unique to you. And you cannot compare yourself to somebody else. Because some beaches feel great to some people, and not great to other people. So as I am getting contrast, for every little thing in my life, I’m making a decision. I it’s it is like a game of choose your own adventure,

right? I’m going I like that I

don’t like that. And I continue to make these micro adjustments. Choosing choosing choosing choosing, which creates a path for me different than anybody else. My view is unique, my preferences are unique, and my path is unique. So as you’re scrolling today, on Instagram, I want you to just remember that, that you are making all of these micro adjustments and decisions and choosing different kinds of contrast of what you like

and what you don’t like. And that is creating

a totally different world for you than anybody else, which makes your view on stuff super unique, which makes you super unique. So So back to the getting, all I want you to do is I want you to take some action, take some action, and then make a choice on what feels good, this feels good. This doesn’t and continue to take action. So many times when we really want, we’re super thirsty for something and we’re like, I want that thing so bad. And I have done this.

And I know I talk about the beach a lot. And I’m sorry if that’s annoying. But I use it as an example. Now almost, I have a little story. I’m going to share a story in a minute. But you know, there was a time where I wanted that so bad. Like I was very thirsty for it. And I couldn’t bring I couldn’t even bring up opportunity for a trip into my existence because I was so thirsty for anything, right? I couldn’t even take any action. So when that happens, when you’re like I’m so thirsty for this thing, I can hardly take any action.

And what I see this popping up as a lot with people is money, right? So maybe you’re out of a job, job, or maybe you need to make more money that tends to make people really thirsty, because they go right into fear. So if that is you, and that’s the space you’re in, whether it’s money or anything else, this is what needs to happen.

You need to get into the getting and how do you get into the getting is you just start making decisions about what feels fun. If you’re looking for a job, just start looking, start looking at stuff, start looking at other people’s jobs, start thinking about your day, every single thing you have in your day, go I like this, this feels fun. I like working from home, I would like being at home all day.

I would like being in office I would like to start just making choices and decisions. And you know if you’re alone or you’re with somebody that just knows you’re cuckoo like me, this started saying it out loud. It has a vibration. So all I want you to do is be starting to make choices, make choice, make choice, make a choice, make a choice, okay? I’m not worried. I’m not in the wanting. I’m simply in the getting and I’m in the getting because I’m making choices. I’m actually getting something right. And that is starting to move me forward. So now let’s go to desire. Now when I think about desire that feels different doesn’t just like vibrate. If I say

like I desire the beach,

doesn’t that feel different than I wish I was at the beach? It makes me feel very fancy. Just say I desire. I feel very fancy. But here’s what desire is desire is to wish for to request. Right? If I’m making a request, doesn’t that feel a lot better than I want this, right? It’s a natural longing that is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of any good. It is an eagerness, an eager wish to obtain or enjoy. So when I say I desire the beach, what I’m really saying is I have an eagerness to enjoy the beach.

And if I’m the universe, let’s just turn the universe into a person for a second. And I’m showing up at my front door. And it’s a party. Right? universe, its energy, energy shows up at my door. I’m having a party and I and I’ve been talking about it. And I’ve been saying I would really enjoy spending time with the universe, right? Or what about if the universe shows up? And I’ve been telling all my friends at this party? I want the universe. I’m so angry. The universe hasn’t shown up.

Why isn’t the universe coming? How’s the universe gonna feel? Right? Like how does it feel when it walks into my party? When it knows I’ve been talking crap, and it knows that I’ve been like, super needy, right, super needy and wanting and thirsty for it, it’s going to be like repelled by me. So I want to move my words to a higher vibration. So desire, I really desire the beach, I have a big whiteboard in my office. And I wrote on the top I desire and then all of the things that I desire, and what those things specifically are, like crystal clear, there’s what 123 I don’t know, maybe 1012 things on this list. So I desire those things. So here’s a fun one.

So there’s a store that I go. And if you follow me on Instagram, you’ve seen me there. I mean, I think I go like once a week with my daughter, we go to this place called modern mystic. And it is like a metaphysical store. And they have crystals and beautiful things and pretty tarot cards and books, and it’s just lovely. And so when ever usually on Wednesdays, I get my kiddo and we go to lunch, and then we’ll go there. It’s just like, our fun thing to do. And they know us now, right?

Like, I feel like when we walk in the gal that works on Wednesdays, I was like, Hey, you know, like, are you guys always together? And so I noticed that they were having a thing, they were talking about Instagram, where they’re going to have they’re going to film a commercial. And I thought I would desire to be in that commercial. Like, how cool would that be to be in the commercial. And so I wrote that under on my board, I desire to be in the modern, mystic


And then I noticed they had a little thing you could fill out if you wanted to be in the commercial. And so I filled it out. And then yesterday, I got an email that I’m going to be filming the commercial in, in towards the end of April. So it felt so easy for that to come into my existence, it felt super flowy and easy. I desired it, I took some action, I felt really good about it love

that place. I love that place.

I wasn’t wanting or thirsty. And if they didn’t pick me, I still would have gone, I still would have loved that place. So I went from the desire.

And then I went to the getting

when I saw an opportunity I took action. And then I got the thing,


So I want you to start to shift, I want you to eliminate all the forms of wanting so these, these are things like regretting the past or wishing things were different or even like looking forward to things wanting worrying. Like all of those things, I want you to just put those aside, so don’t hold on to any kind of past crap. You know, one of the things I do with my clients, as we release, all we do time travel, and we do something that I called timeline therapy, and we release the past.

And when you do that it frees up all of this energy gets reabsorbed into you so that you have the energy to desire forward, because that’s where we want to be focused, right? We want to be focused in the right now and what we’re desiring to bring into the right now. And so let go of the past, let go of all the times that you did, let go of the thirsty times I wanted the beach and I wanted it so bad that I couldn’t bring it to me. Release, release and know that now

I’m desiring from a different place.

And I started doing this myself and really using the word desire And I still catch myself, I’ll say want some time is okay, I catch myself. And I’m like, Oh, I desire that. And don’t you know, in the next like, I don’t know, maybe four or five weeks, I’m going to the beach twice, twice. Because I’m desiring it, it’s so much friendlier and more fun.

And it feels so much more aligned with a happy desire instead of a thirsty want. Need, right? So wanting tells the universe to create conditions to make me keep one thing, making it almost impossible for me to have the thing that I desire. So I want to get out of the desire state, get into the other state is a very subtle, but it’s a very important difference. So this week, try to eliminate the word wanting add in a desire, add in liking, I really like the beach, I really would be liking to go to the beach.

And if you find yourself thinking, wanting or saying wanting, don’t beat yourself up, release, the fact that you noticed it is progress, embrace it and go, Oh, I’m learning something new. I’m working with the universe and the source energy in a totally new way. And I can because I’m learning stuff, and I’m doing things in a new way. And that’s good. That’s growth. That’s change every time you noticed yourself wanting go, ooh, I’m growing. It’s really incredible. All right. onward to an excellent week.

I hope you guys have an amazing week. Remember, I have a free training on my website. It’s Betsy Pake calm. And you can go right there. And you’ll see that there is a free training on your subconscious. And the five shifts that I make with my clients to help them go from a crisis in their life to a transformation. And at the very least, if you are listening to this, and you’re not in our Facebook group, please go there we are having it’s I don’t I just last night, I was laying in bed, and I was like, I love the people in there, like it is so fun.

Every Friday, we have a possibility policy and we spend the week trying to find the thing that we’ve set out to find a ladybug or the world or whatever it is to be able to start to strengthen that muscle and our reticular activating system. And everybody’s just super supportive and good. So jump in there, you can actually get make sure you’re in the correct Facebook group. It is the art of living big.com will bring you write into the Facebook group. It’s been super active and really fun. So I want you to be a part of that too. So thanks for listening. See you next week. And as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.