155: Lessons From The Beach - Betsy Pake

155: Lessons From The Beach


episode 155


You’re listening to Episode 155 of The Art of Living big. I am reporting live from the beach today. So I’m excited to get to do this podcast for you guys from the happiest place on earth. I’m here down in Daytona. And I came down, I’m going to talk about what I did and how I came down here to the beach. But before we get started, I just wanted to let you know that I just looked at my calendar and I opened up some spaces for this week, some extra slots.

If you have been thinking that you might want to talk to me to see if I can help you to identify some blocks that you might have. See some areas that you might need to shift and see if maybe there’s something I can do to help you if you’re interested in that you can go to my website, you can just go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, let’s talk and you can see my calendar there and pick a time that would work for you. Once you pick a time, there’ll be a few questions.

And that’s just so that I can prepare. So it’s just like a couple questions just to give me a little bit of information about you. And then I’ll call you about the time and we will chat. It’s about 45 minutes. And hopefully it can be a really like time that you can really shift and change. So I have a lot to share today.

All right, so let’s just go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in manifesting from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everyone, welcome to today’s show, where I am at the beach, and I am so so loving all of this, like every minute of my time here I have been in such gratitude and so happy.

And you know, as I put together this show today, so often what I do is I come up with a topic, and then I just sit down and just talk about that topic. So I don’t necessarily know, like exactly what I’m going to say I just know the topic. And Gosh, sometimes I sit down and I don’t know the

topic, and then I

just figure out the topic as we are rolling. But here’s

today, I feel like there’s a couple things that I want to talk about. But the overarching really theme of this episode is really, it’s really about this trip to the beach. And now. You know, I was talking to a girlfriend the other day. And I was like, you know, sometimes I listen to podcasts, and the beginning they like go on and on about their life. And I I want you to know that I don’t think that much you care that much about my life. But I do think there are some lessons, right.

So what I hope to do, and what I hope you get from this is not necessarily about my trip to the beach as much as the lessons that I’ve learned here at the beach, that I think could help you on your journey too. So with all that said, I decided to come down to the beach. Because well because I love the beach. And I have been feeling like I wanted just some time away. And if you listen to the show regularly, you’ll remember, like maybe a month ago, I was supposed to come to the beach.

And then I had to change my plans because my ex husband was going to be out of town. And I didn’t want my daughter to be all alone, when we were both out of the same, you know, out of the state at the same time. So anyway, I ended up this past week where I was like, I think I have a window of time where I could go down to the beach.

Now. My husband has a trial. He’s an attorney, and he has a trial so he couldn’t come, which I know, you know, part of me it will the only reason that that felt really kind of odd to me was because it was Easter. And I didn’t necessarily want to leave him on Easter. But then we’re very, I like to say like I’m highly spiritual, but not necessarily organized religion.

I appreciate things about lots of religions. And so anyway, with all that said, I talked to him and he was like, you know, go to the beach. So this was something that I had been wanting to do, where I could just get away by myself. And I think if you’ve never done this before, there’s something really magical about having time, where especially and I know the guys have this too in their own way. But for like moms or you know, wives like there’s a lot of extra duties around the house, I think that fall on our shoulders, right?

So like I have a business but then I also make dinner and I also do all the grocery shopping and I also feed the dogs and I also let the dogs in and out all day because I’m home so by default, but you know, there’s just like a lot of little lists of things always running in my head. Are we getting low on toilet paper? Do we need toothpaste?

Right? Do you know what I’m saying? So we have like these running lists of stuff. And the weird thing is that that whole process of having all of these thoughts in our heads all the time, gets really overwhelming sometime. And, you know, I have said before, to my husband, like, I just, I don’t want to be the one. Like, I don’t want to be the one I want it to not, I want to not be the one I don’t want. But by default, like, that’s what we do, right? We’re the ones grocery shopping.

And if you’re a man listening, and you do the grocery shopping, then I’m including you in this, but you do the grocery shopping. And so you’re the one that constantly scanning for what needs to be added to the list, right, so that you do a good job. Anyway, all of these things get to be like, just kind of wear you down.

And I am one that I need, like inside time, like I need to just think. And you if you follow me on Instagram, and you see my Insta stories, you know that I love my dogs. But you know, they’re really needy and I have created that I’m sure, but they’re hella needy. And I got to where I just was like, Oh, my God, like, I cannot have you look at me, like

stop staring. I’ll be

like, I just, I just want to get away. Okay, so I decided to come down here and get away. And it’s been awesome, because there was no discussion. So I have just been able for a few days to totally follow my intuition. And what I mean by that is, I am sitting out by the pool, and then suddenly, I don’t feel like being at the pool anymore.

I don’t have to look to somebody and say, I’m kind of getting done. Are you done? Do you want to go up? What do you want to do? What do you want to do? What do you feel like eating? Like, I just picked up my crap. And I came up, and then I got up. And then I was like, What do I feel like doing now. And a couple times, I just was like, I just want to sit, I just want to sit on the bed and look out. I got a I’m right on the beach. So I got a balcony on the seventh floor.

It’s like beautiful, I have the most perfect, amazing view. And I just was like, I just want to sit here. And if I was with anybody else, they’d be like, what are we doing? But I’d be like, I’m sitting, just sitting and appreciating, like the view. And then I’m here. And when I meditated, I get to meditate. I mean, I think I’ve meditated like three times yesterday. And it was like I was on the process of getting ready to go out. And then all of a sudden, I was like, Oh, I feel like meditating. I was like, I don’t have to go out right, the second I can go meditate.

So there has been this a freedom in doing anything I want to do at any moment, I want to do it when I feel like doing it without having to check in or worry about what somebody else would want. So if you have never done this, it really is like a special I love vacationing with my husband, he’s really fun. But there’s been something really special about just being able to be on my own and to process things on my own. So I want to share a few little stories of some things.

Just because it might help shift the way you see things in your life. One of the things that we do inside the Facebook group I have there, there’s the art of living big community Facebook group, if you want to go in there, you can just go to the art of living big.com it’ll actually forward you right into the Facebook group. But one of the things we do is every Friday, we have the possibility posse and we we I will put a post where I identify something that everybody B needs to be looking for

throughout the week.

So you know, the first week, I think it was a ladybug. So anywhere you would see a ladybug, you know, it doesn’t have to be an actual Ladybug a print a picture of a ladybug, whatever it is. And the whole idea is that we’re training our reticular activating system, or that part of our brain, our Ras to notice the things that we tell it we want. It also helps your manifestation muscle, it helps you feel like you have some control, because you’re starting to notice how when you do want something and you look for it, you can get it and you have no resistance, right? Because nobody had any resistance around finding a ladybug.

And so tons of people were like, Oh, my God, plus is just fun, right? So it turns into this fun thing. But people were like, Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I found it. But you know, I found it in a book. I found it in a little girl’s dress. I found it in you know, whatever it is. It’s just been really fun. So every week there is a new post in there and then all week long everybody posts when they find the thing. So last week, I was like I’m gonna make it harder this week, and it’s going to be a zebra.

So people, people were finding their zebras. And it was kinda it was sort of amazing. But I wasn’t finding my zebra It was weird because usually I’m like really good like, I am A super attractor, I can manifest some shares. And I could not find a damn zebra to save my life. And I was like,

What is it with this? anyway?

Though I left on Friday, so it had been I do the posts on Friday, so it had been a full week. So Friday was like the last day I was about to do a new post, but I am in the car on my way to the beach. And it was like a total downpour the whole time. The whole like six, seven hours down here like insane. The book clench of all time, like I was like, oh my god.

So I had downloaded some audiobooks, but I couldn’t even listen to them because the rain was so much, right. So I just was like, I mean, people had their flashers on, they had like the severe weather thing, the signs up from D o t, you know, but I’m like, I don’t have anywhere to be, I can take my time. I just like, I had my hands like 10 into, you know,

like, I’m just gonna go.

And so at one point I was getting where I could not listen to the audio books, because I couldn’t concentrate on them, I really needed to watch the road. And I was hydroplaning a little bit. And I decided I was just going to talk out loud. And I was going to I know this sounds a little odd. But if you’re new here, it might sound odd. If you’re not new here, then you get me. So I decided I was going to just speak out loud. So this is something that you guys can do words have a vibration, obviously.

And I want to just talk as if it was a one year in the future. And I was telling my sister, can you believe so that’s how I started it. Can you believe it? Can you believe this happened? And this happened. So I just told her all of the things that I wanted to happen as if they had already happened. And I was getting really into it.

Like it was really fun. And it was distracting me from being like, super tight fisted on the steering wheel. And as I was finishing, I said, like it Oh, things always work out for me, don’t they? And right that minute. I’m not kidding. I actually grabbed my phone to take a picture which don’t ask me about that. Because I know it wasn’t totally safe. But this giant SUV went by I’m not joking, you wrapped

in a zebra print, lift the whole

SUV was a giant zebra. I took a picture and when I stopped I posted and I was like oh my god, I couldn’t even believe it. Because I was having that moment where I was speaking my future into existence. And it was like a sign from the universe that like right on sister keep rolling. Right? So anyway, from that point forward, I feel like all things magical have been happening. You know, I’m seeing all the aligning numbers, like I like that tell me I’m on the right track, I’m having a lot of clarity.

And I’m getting a lot of what I call messages. So I’m going to explain a little bit about what this is. And I’m going to share a couple of those. So when I am quiet or I’m in meditation, sometimes I’ll get a I say I call it a download, sometimes I call it a message. It’s just like a stream of consciousness that feels more clear than it is me. So you know, is it me? Totally 100% possible it is me It could be it is the depth of me that has clarity that understands what is right.

It could be I’m it’s bubbling up from my subconscious, when I allow my conscious self to just shut it for a minute. Right? It could be that like the hoonah religion says that when I can get into my unconscious, it connects to collective consciousness. And so I’m pulling something from the collective. There have been times where I have gotten these downloads, and I have sent them over to my girlfriend, Laura, because that’s what we do. And then she hears from somebody else. And they had a really similar message, which makes me feel like we’re all like it’s all in this big collective right. So all that to say I will call it a download.

I’ll call it a message. I’ll call it a thought I’ll call it a meditation thought, oh, whatever it is. All it is is like this moment of like massive clarity. I hear something comes to me that feels not quite like me, like or me like if I’m really awesome. So it made me it is me like at the moments of really awesomeness of me. And it gives me peace. It gives me something to think about my situation in a totally different way. Okay, so I had that moment where I see the giant super truck and then I’m seeing all the aligning numbers like all of these things are happening.

At one point I look down at my phone like How much longer do I have to drive to get here and I had like my ways my map up you know, and it’s I had two hours and 22 minutes. And the moment I saw that I looked up, and there was a huge billboard that says, God speaks to us. Like, like, really you guys, it was so many just funny like, like little Kismet things where I was like, this is really cool, felt like magical. So I start, like, I’m having these moments where I’m getting this, like, extreme clarity.

So I meditate several times yesterday. And in the morning, I’m meditated. And really clearly, I heard this, I heard and I did a Instagram post about these, but I want to just go into it a little bit more, you know, because deeper than I could on Instagram posts, so I heard fill your vessel until it overflows, and then share the overflow with everyone you meet any other way.

And you will always feel lack, which you will fill with something unnecessary. Wow. All right. So here’s the thing, I came here to fill my vessel, right, I came here to have some calm and peace, and to do whatever it is that I needed to do. So that I could feel aligned and move on with my life in a in a better way, in a way with more clarity.

And so when I was sitting there, I heard fill your vessel until it overflows, and then share the overflow with everyone you meet. And what happens like, typically, especially I think if we’re caring for other people, if we’re a parent, or you know, maybe you’re caring for an elderly parent, like we, we don’t fill our vessel until it overflows, and then just share the overflow. We share everything until our vessel is completely empty. Am I right? Like we give and we give and we give and we’re exhausted.

But we’re like, I got to keep going, I need to do this thing. I really should do that thing for them. Right? My kids need this. My kids are waking me up all night, like whatever it is. Our vessel gets less and less and less. And it’s really hard, especially if you’ve got little kids like how could you possibly? I mean, how could you possibly This is a extreme luxury that I’m here at the beach by myself. My God, my child is a teenager though, if she was to I wouldn’t be here, right? Like, let’s be honest, I’m super lucky.

When you have little kids, like how can you possibly fill your vessel? When you’ve got it? life moves really fast? And there’s a lot going on? And so how can you take those moments so that you can actually fill your vessel? And you’re not just bleeding yourself dry? How can you fill your vessel so that you’re only sharing the overflow? Honestly, what would your life be like? If you only shared the overflow? Like, imagine that for a minute, I’m only sharing the overflow, so I’m totally full all the time? Or for most of the time, right?

What would that be like?

And then it says any other way, and you will always feel the lack, which you will fill with something unnecessary. So what’s unnecessary? Well, food, sugar, junk food, shopping, maybe over shopping, right? staring off in front of the TV and all these things I do. So I am not saying like I get it like, so get it. I did not do this, right. I didn’t. I didn’t only share my overflow, I shared till I was like in the super negative, especially when my kid was sick. Right.

So I referenced that a lot just because that’s the latest, like life thing that happened. And really why I came here because I realized I’m still in the deficit, and I need to come and take a break and fill because I’m filling it with other stuff, right? You fill it with, with food, you fill it with shopping, you fill it with gossip, you fill it with overworking you fill it with whatever, right. So how can we actually take a break? How can we stop that cycle? And, and, and, and dissociate from the junk, right?

Social media, like I do that? That’s my big legs zone out. I don’t. I’m all like I don’t watch TV. But then I’m like on my Facebook for two hours, right? Like I get it. So like I am totally here with you if this is you. So how do we do that? So like I came to the beach, but this isn’t, I can’t do this every day. Like I can’t just take off right?

Like I have a life I have busy things I have responsibilities. So how can I carry this back into my life so that I am constantly filling up my vessel. And there’s a couple things that I have thought of for me. And I don’t know if these would work for you. But I know that you can think of some for you too. And if you’re in the Facebook group, share some of your thoughts in there. Here’s one of the things that I find for me is that I made sort of a mental inventory of all of the things I really hate to do and that drain me, like the things that really annoy me. And you know what really annoys me?

I don’t even mind cooking dinner that much. But I really hate deciding what’s for dinner. Like, I just I find that to be a drag, I’m not a super cook. And honestly, like, half the crap I make, because then I can’t think and so I just end up making like chicken and vegetables. And it’s just not that good. Right? So how can I change that?

Like I’ve All I did was I identified something that I didn’t like, so that would drain me? And how can I changed that. So I made a list of all the different places that I could get help like, you know, those hellofresh there’s also something called fresh 20 calm, I think that’s what it is fresh 20. And that gives you a whole meal plan every week based on what you want, like vegetarian, gluten free, whatever it is, and a shopping list. So all you do is you do the shopping list, and then it tells you everything to make every night.

So you don’t have to think right. So I’ve been trying to come up with all the different ways that I can do this. Now. I have, and you’ve probably heard me talk about this before, but I have a form that is called the chase for a mat. And it is a you can get it on my website for free. So it’s a download. And so chase worksheet. Chase stands. It’s an acronym, I developed it and it’s inside my book, start small, live big, you don’t have to get the book, just get the the download and the download will explain to you how to do it.

Basically, I used the I use those sheets all the time. Basically what I did was I identified the problems, the big problems that I felt were draining my vessel, right. So one of them was the food thing. And then at the top of the sheet, I wrote the problem at the bottom of the sheet I wrote the outcome I wanted and then I set a timer and I came up with a million different ways that I could solve that problem. So those are a few of the ones I came up with now, download this worksheet, because I’m telling you this, this thing changes your life.

I somebody who was it? It was somebody I know. It was Laura. It was Laura. I think it was Laura. Anyway, she used it and she said it was bananas how good it was. And I love it when people use the word bananas to describe something. So it made me really happy. It’s so it’s it’s so stupid, silly simple, but it really works. So I identified those things. The other thing identify identified was that I sleep really good the last couple nights I’ve been in this hotel, so my mattress really sucks at home.

So I’m going to get a new mattress like I was like, I gotta just bite the bullet and get a new mattress because it matters, right? So my sleep matters. I need a new sleep schedule, that feels really overwhelming to me. Because I don’t want to do all that you know how they tell, you know what they tell you to do before bad like, Don’t look at your electron like, I don’t want to do all that. Like, I’m trying to identify some small things that I could do that would be moving me in that direction.

If you think of this as a continuum, where I am right now on the continuum is that my sleep really kind of bites. And then all the way on the other end is like I’m the perfect sleeper, right? I’m gonna be floating around somewhere in the middle. But I’m going to take little steps, small steps to be able to move in that direction. Okay. So those were a couple for me the other one that if my husband will be listening to this, the other one is that I just need some help with stuff like random little things like to like help me take out the garbage like I’m typically the one that like the garbage will get full and then I’ll empty it.

Or we have a water dispenser a spring water dispenser, like that’ll get low and the little red light comes on. And, and sometimes he does bring it in, but I just need I need more like a clarity around that. I don’t think he’s not doing it because he’s like, I’m too good for that she needs to empty the garbage. I honestly think he doesn’t notice.

So we just need to like have a raise some awareness. So again, I’m not going to tell them like I’m not going to go storming calm and go, I don’t get enough help. And I have these 29 things I need you to do. I’m going to just mention one and see if he can help me with one. And then once he gets good at that, and now he’s going to know what I’m onto because he listens to the show. But

once he gets good at that, then I can request more help if I need it right or that might make the difference. Like that may be the trigger point that like flips the thing and then I don’t feel like my vessel is empty, right. So this is your homework. If you would like to take homework advice from me it would be to decide what is draining your vessel.

Download that worksheet, and come up with the ways that you can start to fill it and to keep it filled. Because if you don’t, you will start to fill it with things that do not serve you and things that hold you back and things that make you farther away from who you really want to be. And then you will say I can’t help it because my life is so crazy, but you have an opportunity. And all that opportunity is is it starts with awareness. And perhaps you weren’t aware before, I wasn’t aware before.

And now I’m aware. And now I can make better decisions, right? So I forgive myself for everything in the past. And then I become aware and I move forward in a totally new way, we have the opportunity at every minute to make a new decision, which actually brings me to my next. Okay, so my next one. Okay. So last night, so this is weird.

So this is I am going to tell you this, although I didn’t put this in my Instagram, because it was like, too much. And if you’re listening, and you’re this far listening, you probably know me, and you get me and so it was too much to write in an Instagram post.

But I have always felt that I had three guardian angels. And one of them is the one that I typically will speak to, before I go to bed every night, I asked them to help me heal or to help me become aware of whatever it is I need, or whatever that is, right. So I always ask something of my guardian angels. And I always ask something of my subconscious before I go to bed. And I have these three,

I don’t know why they’re three, I just have always felt as if they’re three. I don’t believe that they know, this is just my beliefs. But I don’t believe that they are people I know, I don’t even know that they have ever actually been here. I don’t know that they’re like human spirits. I just feel like they are the Spirit. And there are three of them.

And I feel like one of them is feminine, and one of them is a little bit neutral. And one of them is masculine. Okay. I always talk to the masculine one, just because that’s, I don’t know why, why do I always talk to the masculine one, I don’t know. I just do. Like, that’s the one I always feel like I’m supposed to be talking to her connecting with him. Last night I woke up, I woke up. And I had a feeling I’m going to say a feeling although I could see it in my head.

But it was definitely in my mind. It wasn’t like a visual that I could see. But it was the to the the to like more masculine or the masculine and the more masculine neutrally one, stepping to the side, and the feminine one coming forward. And I knew everything about it was like I saw her. And I got a complete story. I knew everything that I needed to know about her and why she was here in my life and what was happening. And she said, who we choose to be in every moment is who we get to be.

And I remember I went Ooh, that’s really good.

And I thought I’ll remember that in the morning. And she said, No, you won’t. So I got my butt up. And I wrote it down. Okay, so that might not sound like anything. Like all that like, Hall. But I’m gonna say it again. And I want to talk about it. Who we choose to be in every moment is who we get to be. So, you know, I wrote it. I wrote about this on Instagram. And I wrote like, do you want to be a victim? You get to be that? Do you want to be a success? You get to be that? Do you want to be angry at the world, you can be that too.

And here’s the thing

is that we don’t have to have some big thing happen to say, I’m going to be somebody different. We don’t have to have it doesn’t have to be Monday, it doesn’t have to be new year’s time. It doesn’t have to be the morning.

Like it could be right this second.

Where you can choose to be somebody else. And whoever you choose to be, is who you get to be. Which is so freeing. Who do you want to be? Like, who do you want to be? Now your vessel is full? Let’s just say your vessel is full? Because this is what happened to me. Suddenly my vessel was full.

Who do you want to be now?

Choose it? Whatever it is? Do you want to be athletic? Do you want to be super happy? Do you want to be the kindest person you’ve ever met? Do you want to be the kindest person anyone’s ever met? Do you want to be the best person at setting boundaries and having and having relationships that are amazing? Do you want to be the best NLP coach in the whole world?

That’s what I want to be in the world, which sounds so crazy and far fetched. How could you even measure that? I don’t know. But that’s what I want. I want to be the best in the world, which means I’m always learning, which means I’m always practicing, which means that it’s okay for me to say I made a mistake, which means I’m growing, which means I’m trying which means I’m helping people in a profound way. So who do you want to be? Do you want to be overwhelmed?

Do you want to be like an overworked overwhelmed mom. And now I know that right now you might be that might have made you bristle you might have been looking at Oh, but I am overworked and over done. Right? I totally Get it. I’m not saying that life will change immediately, but I’m saying who you choose, what you’re choosing can be different. And everything else will fall in line after because when you choose to be somebody different, your actions become different.

And when your actions become different, you change your life. So who do you choose to be? Are you going to choose to be the kind of person who fills their vessel and makes that a priority? Are you going to be the kind of person that knows what they want, and stays focused on it, even when things don’t always go the way that they want?

Are you going to be the kind of person that gets up and gets up and gets up and gets up and keeps going and keeps going and grabs other people along the way, and encourages them and says, Let’s go together. That’s what I want to be. So you can come with me, we can do it together, there’s a totally different way for you to be living your life, it’s got more joy for all of us, it’s got more joy. It’s got more fun, it’s got more balance. But we’ve got to decide we have to make a choice.

So I leave you with that. That is my beach trip, I’ll be heading home with my vessel filled with ideas with a new way to live. And I’m curious how things shift and change if I can start to notice consciously some of my actions changing and shifting and how quickly I become who I have chosen. Because there’s a new world out there for all of us.

And so I invite you to join me join me inside the Facebook group. Let me know what you think. Let me know if you have something you’re going to shift and change and who you’re choosing to be because I would love to know and so that I can cheer you on. So all right, I will see you guys next week. If you liked this episode, please share it with your friends share on Instagram and tag me in your Instagram stories.

I love when you guys share it it means so much to me and I know that so many people so many women out there need to hear this message and to feel a little bit of hope and you can do that by sharing it with people that you love.

So and Remember if you leave a review anywhere on iTunes or anywhere just screenshot it, email it to us at support at Betsy Pake calm and we will send you a self hypnosis audio to help you change a belief that’s holding you back. Alright guys, I will see you guys next week. And as always, here’s a

little message from my husband.

That’s it.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.