163: Who are you pretending to be?


Today’s episode we talk about a study on aging and how that translates to our lives and where we want to go in our lives.

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You’re listening to Episode 163 of The Art of Living big.

Today on the show,

I’m going to talk a little bit about a study that I read and how it began to impact how I’m thinking about my future and how I’m thinking about my right now. Really, it’s about right now what I’m doing, how I’m acting, how I’m behaving, doing and being. So I want you guys to listen. And I want you to actually take action on today’s episode. And one of the actions I want you to take is to jump into the Facebook group or, or find me on on Instagram or wherever you are, and let me know what you’re going to do. You’ll understand more as you listen.

But I really want to know,

who are you pretending to be? And who are you going to pretend to be in the future? I’ll explain. Let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in manifesting from your subconscious. And this

podcast is designed to help you think differently

about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Good morning, everybody. Welcome to today’s show. This is like a coffee talk episode. Because I just have my coffee, and I’m talking. So this is what I think of the coffee talk episodes are really like, We’re friends and we just sat down to get some coffee. And this is the stuff that I want to tell you. I just dropped off my sweet little dog, you know, my little pup Miley, who is like 11 years old, I mean, she’s like 20 pounds, not really not 19 pounds, 19.4 officially because I just dropped her off at the vet, she has a mass, like right on her butt.

So on her butthole. And so they are going to go in and they think it looks cancerous. So they’re going to take that off. And so I just dropped her off. And you know, I feel as if it was this weird feeling because I feel as if so many things are coming to a close, you know, I talk on this show a lot about creating the life that you really want.

But here’s the thing, we’re in a life that we are in, right, all of the things that are happening around this life, maybe with your job, maybe with your family, maybe with your kids, maybe with your you know, living situation, maybe with where you live, like all of those things are in motion. And if you have this idea and this dream, like way out like this is the dream that I want, right? And it is different,

it is so different from where you are,

where you are, has to unravel to some extent, right, so that it can reorganize itself to become the thing that you’re after. And so I noticed this with my clients like week, two or three things start to unravel. And they’re like, Oh my gosh, everything’s

unraveling. I’m like, No,

it’s not. It’s reorganizing. So with my sweet Miley, I feel as if so many things right now in my life. Are reorganizing closing loops coming to a to a close, like seasons ending all of the things and I don’t want my Miley to go away. Like, I’m mildly obsessed with that dog. I love that dog. She and I have been through a lot together. But I had this weird moment when I brought her because I thought like she I hope she lives another eight years,

right? I mean,

I don’t know little dogs live a little bit longer than big dogs. But I had this moment where I was like, wow, is this the reorganizing? Right? Is this the shifting and the changing? I don’t know. I don’t know. So we’ll see. So anyway, I just dropped her off. But here’s what I was thinking this morning when I got up. So I’ve been doing a lot of things lately.


okay, so let’s let me back up just a little bit. You’ve heard me incessantly talk about how I want to live at the beach. And I don’t want to dive too too much into that. But I just want to touch on it. So you kind of know where I’m coming from. So I have talked about this. And I have I did an episode, I think it was like 145 or 146 on the three questions. And my husband and I did the three questions. This was back like in February, beginning of February. And we came to some conclusions about some things that we really want for our lives and how we wanted things to be different now.

So much has changed even since that day. But what is happening now is that I am we started like putting like clearing stuff out and getting rid of stuff and organizing the house. Like I’ve talked about it before on the show. But you know, I live outside Atlanta, it’s fairly cheap to live here. I have a really big house so it’s full of stuff right.

So if you had the bigger house You have, the more stuff you save. So we’ve been spending the last few months cleaning out and I have been doing a ton of cleaning out. And now I’m at the point where I’m having painters come to paint so the house could be ready to sell. Now, here’s the thing. I am in a really unusual place for me, in that I don’t know what the next step is. I don’t know, do I


just into Atlanta into the city, there’s cognitively, there are so many wonderful reasons to do that. And then rent a place for three months at the beach in the winter, right. So cognitively, when I look at what makes good sense, that actually makes good sense. My husband’s an attorney, he has his license here in Georgia, my daughter lives in Georgia.

And she’s, I mean, she’s almost an adult, but like, you know, it still would be nice to be near her while she wants to be near me, like so many reasons, familiarity, all the things. But I was saying to my husband the other night, it makes so much sense to stay here.

And my

it’s not even a desire, because I’ve had a desire to move to the beach, it is an impulse, or a compulsion. That’s the word. It’s a compulsion that I just have to go, you just have to go, just go just go just go to the beach, just go to the beach. And I keep thinking like, that doesn’t make good sense yet, maybe

in a year, just go

just go to the point where it’s causing me a little bit of distress, because I can’t, I don’t know what’s next. So what I decided was that I don’t have to know what’s next. I just have to do what feels good right now. And what feels good right now is to be packing and moving and shifting and changing things, right. And so that’s what I’m doing.

So here’s what happened.

So in all of that,

I ended up and I’m a big fan of Dr. Joe dispenza. You may have heard of him, but he really teaches about the science of the brain. So the science of the brain and the body connection, and I’m going to see him in the fall. And I’m really excited about it. I’m going to see him for five days in New Mexico. And I’m going to bring all of that knowledge and everything back, I’ll share some of it with you and to work with my clients in a deeper way. So here’s what what happened was I saw him talk and he referenced a study.

And so, you know, my, my degree is in psychology. And I don’t know, maybe that’s why I’m assuming that’s why I really like reading the studies, right? Because I did that so much when I was in college. And so he referenced a study from this researcher, who did research on aging. And one of the studies was she took a group of men, older men, and she brought them to a retreat center, just north of Harvard University. And she kept them there for five days.

And their only instruction was to act like when they were 23. To just act younger, that’s all you have to do is act younger, and she created an atmosphere where everything about their experience was reminiscent of when they were younger. So there were pictures of Marilyn Monroe, there was the music playing from that time, right? So the games were from that time, like everything, she tried to create this experience. Now, when they got there, she took all of these diagnostics, right.

So she took their height and weight and their spinal rotation. And she even measured like their finger length, and all these different things. how tall they were, I think I said that one to like really like getting this baseline. And then they just had to pretend that they were younger. So she talks about how like the fourth and fifth day how they were starting to put their canes down and they were passing the football. And that then they started like a little football game on the on the yard. And by the end of the study, when she tested them. They were taller. They had lost weight, their finger length was


Their IQ had gone up 60 points. So the only thing that happened was they pretended they pretended that they were younger, when they were a little sharper, a little taller, a little thinner, right? All they did was pretend. And it created these results in their body. Which begs the question, Who are you pretending to be? And so as I was reading that study, I was like


right now in my life. And as I talk about this moving, I realized that I was still pretending to be a lot of people I used to be. And that if I wanted to move into this new version of me, this version of me that lived at the beach, and you know, use that one as an example, because it’s tangible, but there’s lots of other I have a lot of other goals and dreams and aspirations that are personal. And I just, I don’t know that you’d be twin just seems easier to comprehend, right?

So if that is the person I want to be, then how am I keeping myself first of all, am I moving towards that person? And how am I keeping myself where I am now, you’ve heard me talk about how I used to own a CrossFit gym, and I had competed in weightlifting. And what I realized the last few years, that has not been the thing that has excited me.

So lifting weights, I still like it. But it does not hold the impact for me that it once did. But I will go back even like once a week, I’ll go back down into my garage, and I’ll pick up the barbell. And sometimes it feels really good. But I realized recently it feels almost like I’m pulling myself backwards, that I’m like, this is who you know how you talk to people sometimes. And I feel like it’s mostly men, but I’m open to being wrong about that.

But they talk about high school, and like their days on the football team and how great high school was right? Or you go to like, a reunion, and you see people and they’re talking about how wonderful High School was, but in a way that you’re like, they still really like high school, they like high school better than they liked

now. Right?

Or they even like high school better than they like their future their dreams. And I realized that I was pulling myself backwards to the old person that I used to be, every time I would go down there and grab those weights every time. You know, my body creates habits within my body. So this is how come you can

you know how sometimes

you’re like, I don’t know that person’s phone number, or I don’t know, the I can’t remember what the pin number is or whatever. But then your hand just does it like your body just does it and you’re like, I don’t know the password on my computer. I’m not thinking but my, my fingers just move on the keyboard, and then it is the password. I’m like, Oh, my body has a memory of that greater than my mind in that moment, right. So when I wake up in the morning, and I go to log into my computer, I don’t even have to think my body just does it. And my hands touching that barbell, there’s a certain grip that we do on the barbell called the hook grip.

And I would do this hook grip, and it would be my body remembering to do that. And I believe it was pulling me backwards, it was pulling me back into that reality. And I was having this dream and this goal in this thing where I’m gonna be the woman who lives at the beach, and I’m free and walks every day on the beach and all of these things. And but I’m rehearsing and rehearsing and rehearsing, and pulling myself back to this old version of me. Now, if the barbell was included in my future vision, that would be one thing,

but it really wasn’t. I

was, that was a time of my life a season. And it’s okay to close


to close seasons.

You know, having that barbell and access to that served me at that time in my life, I needed that I needed it in my home, so I didn’t have to leave and go somewhere. Like I needed to have that experience. You know, I used to say when I was on the barbell, that it was like a spiritual time for me, right? Like, I didn’t play music, none of that, I would think I would, I would like answer questions and get in touch with my inner No, or on the barbell.

And now I don’t need the barbell to do that. And in fact, my interests for moving my body have shifted and changed, right? So I’m not 43 now I’m 48. Right? So they’ve just shifted and changed a little bit. I’m a different person, I think different. But I was dragging myself back. So all of that to say I decided to sell it, I sold it, they came and got it yesterday, I cried like a baby when they left. Not out of like sadness. If I wanted to keep it. I certainly could have it.

It’s not like I needed the money. Although I like money. But I didn’t need it. I didn’t sell it because I needed the money. I just sold it because I was ready to release that part of me. And I think I cried because I was so grateful. And I didn’t want to pretend I was the old version of me anymore. I wanted to pretend I was the new version of me.

So that that new version of me that I’m calling in can actually come into my awareness and come into my experience. You know, with my coaching clients, I do this really powerful NLP session with them where we call in the actual experience and we make it real. We make it so you can feel it in your body. In such a intense way that most people go through that process and cry, it’s, it’s so intense, but it is becoming it is when your body becomes the version of you that you’re trying to call in, then you have no choice but to become and to call in that version. So I have felt this compulsion, because it’s trying so hard to come in. So I am releasing the old getting rid of the old. And I am awaking up now,

if you are of the belief, and you’re listening to me, and you’re I


I believe that I create my reality.

Right? So do you believe that you create your reality? So then what did you do this morning to create your reality?

Did you do anything?

Did you think differently at all? Or did you just go about your regular life?

Right? Did you just go about your routine?

I know that’s what I do. A lot of times, I will just have a regular routine. I started sleeping on the other side of the bed recently. And I had purchased a new bed, I don’t know, six weeks ago. And

it’s one it’s a it’s one of those

pillow top beds.

And so you have to sleep on different areas so that it all like breaks in evenly. My husband, God love him, he’s a snore. So he sleeps in a different room. So I had to move around. But I realized when I slept on the other side of the bed, I got up on the other side of the bed. And when I got up on the other side of the bed, my behavior was just a little bit different.

My routine was just a little bit different because it had been shifted. And because I was on the other side of the bed, it gave me an opportunity in the morning to pause and go, Oh, I got to get up on this side of the bed. And that made me stop and go, what am I going to create today? Because that is a routine I used to have.

But I let it go because routine is routine. Right? And I let it I it just kind of got crowded out with dogs whining and the need to go to the bathroom. So I sat for a minute. And what does that really look like? What does that look like today? I do an energy thing with my clients to help them bring in that day. And I realized that I need to get back to that practice,

right calling in that person. I feel this compulsion

right now. And I am getting stuck because I think I have to know how that’s gonna work out. But I feel a compulsion. So I know it’s right there. And I have felt August, September, August, September, I’ve been saying this since like February or March, something’s happening in August and September, and August, something’s shifting, something’s changing. And so I’m just getting ready. Now, I don’t know what that is, it’s going to show itself to me. But all day long.

Now I’m asking myself, and I’m checking in with myself, am I pretend Who am I pretending to be and I’m noticing more and more. In fact, I said this to my husband last night. As that I’m noticing throughout my day, I forget I don’t live at the beach. And I have moments where I think I live at the beach. And there’s been several moments where I’ve walked by the mirror in the bathroom, and it caught my attention because I thought, I look like I live at the beach. I got some kind of new hair oil. And it makes my hair look like I’m at the beach. And so

fully, I have to remind myself that I don’t

have to actually think about that and go Wait, I don’t live at the beach. More often than not. my body and my mind think I’m at the beach. And so I’m really confident now that it’s coming. You’ll notice even there was an episode I did in March


getting clarity and hope hope breeds clarity. And I talked about how I didn’t have the belief and some of the things that I was doing to shift that I’m fully in the belief. I know it’s coming. In fact, I know it could happen, like in the next 60 days, if that’s what I decide. So I’m not going to worry. I’m just going to live in that future reality I’m going to pretend and keep pretending that it all works out exactly the way I wanted to. So, so many times when we pretend we also worry about the how So then we’re pretending that we’re worrying about the how but how how I don’t have to all I get to pretend I just have to pretend that that’s where I

am. How would

I act? How would I think what would I do? What would I experience? How would I see the world who would I be? So I want you to think about that this week. Who are you pretending to be every day the old you the same you that you’ve been for years? Or are you pretending to be something different? Are you pretending to be the thing you want and if you don’t know Know what you want, just like me right now? I don’t know. I don’t know what how fast I want it.

Right? We have options. How fast do I want that? all I’m gonna do is the next right thing. So if you’re like, I don’t even know what my goal would be, it’s okay. What’s the next right thing? You know how you’d want to feel? You know how you’d want to feel right? I want to feel free. When I’m at the ocean, I feel I asked my husband all the time. Do you feel that? And he’s like, no, don’t feel it. I feel a buzzing. It feels like a buzzing in my brain. It’s like a vibration sort of in my brain.

And so it feels really good. Like it’s like a weird calming thing. He doesn’t feel it, but that’s how I want to feel. So can I try to bring that in right now, right? I got ocean scented candles, I got sand around, I got stuff to try to bring that vibration to me. So I want to release the old let go the old version of you. Right? You don’t have nothing has to happen today for you to let go of the old version of you. So nothing like big has to have like no monumental thing needs to take place. All you have to do is make a decision. And then you can start to step into the new reality and the new version of you.

And all you have to do is pretend so alright, I leave you with that. If you want some help and you want to jumpstart these actions, and you want to make shifts in a much quicker way, then you can watch my free training on my website. Betsy Pake calm, it will explain to you the shifts that I use with my clients. There are five shifts.

And if you want to jump on the phone and talk to me, and we can see what shifts you would need to make. And if I’m a good fit to be able to help you you can do that by going to my website. Just go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, let’s talk and then from there, you’ll be able to see my calendar, and you can just schedule a time that works for you. Super easy peasy. Alright, thanks you guys so much for listening. Let me know jump into the Facebook group. And just go to the art of living big.com and it’ll pump you right to the Facebook group. Let me know let me know Who are you going to pretend to be?

I want to now. I’ll see you guys next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you found it a value, please share it with your friends, tag me on Instagram or leave a review on iTunes or any of your listening apps. If you leave a review, and you take a screenshot, please email it to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a self hypnosis audio that will help you break down any limiting beliefs that you have. So thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for leaving your review. And don’t forget to join us

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Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.