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You’re listening to Episode 166 of The Art of Living big.
Today we’re talking about
not giving up when things are really, really hard.
And I share a couple stories and, and some emails and feedback that I’ve gotten recently, which is why I wanted to do this episode. But even if you’re not in a desperate state right now, where you’re struggling, you know, we all struggle with little things from time to time. And, and, and with little things really all the time. Right.
We’re always dipping in and out of things we we like and things we don’t like having that contrast on a day to day. And so I wanted to do this episode, to give you some ideas and some practical advice, but also just some inspiration, that when things are bad, they don’t stay bad forever. Everything is a cycle. Everything is going up and down.
And if you think of your life, like a movie, instead of just a scene in the movie, well, there’s a whole lot of movie left after this one bad scene. So if you can just wait just a little bit, the scene will change and things will start to move in your favor. I hope that this episode serves you and if it does, please share it with your friends or with somebody that you know that maybe needs to hear the message. And if you want to learn a little bit more about shifting and how I help my clients shift their mindset and shift their lives becomes unstuck after being in a crisis or just having things not go the way that they want.
I do have a free training on my website. So if you just go to Betsy Pake calm. It’s right there says take my training. So I hope that that serves you as well. So thanks again for being here. And now let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international action in manifesting from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life now,
let’s go live big Hello,
fellow adventurers, welcome to the show. I’m excited that you you guys are here with me today,
I wanted to talk to you about
something that I’ve been noticing that’s been happening in my life for coming into my awareness. And so just now, I was trying to think like, what am I going to talk about today, and I laid on my, my acupressure mat, if you’re in the Facebook group, you know how I’m obsessed with this. So I’m like, I’m gonna lay on that. And then I’m just going to ask what I need to talk about. And it became clear that this was the topic that I needed to talk about.
So I’ve gotten several emails over the past week or 10 days. And I’ve even gotten people that have posted on my Facebook ad. So I have an ad that’s running on Facebook, and you know, people will comment or share whatever, if you see it, say hello to me, because that helps Facebook, show it to more people. But I was I got a comment. And the comment was, you don’t have any idea what it is to struggle, you don’t know what it’s like to
be broke or to be, like,
you know, to be struggling is basically that what they were saying they were like, you know, you Who are you
to say this,
to put this ad out that says, you know, if you’re struggling, I’ve got
ideas and solutions,
right? Who are you to say that you don’t know what it’s like. And I’ve been getting emails from people that are really struggling with real things and real world problems. And, you know, it’s, it’s one thing for me to come on every week and to say, like, be hi vibe and get in the vortex. But when we are really struggling with something, it can feel really difficult
to make that shift,
or to move towards something when everything in our experience is saying like, this is terrible. We’ve got to be afraid, like there’s doom and gloom, right. And some of the messages that I were getting where, you know, people that were about to lose their house or lose their job and, you know, didn’t know what was going to happen. And when that person posted on the on my Facebook ad, you know, I invited them to the group, so maybe they’re listening.
But I do know, I like I know. Probably more than you might think I do about wanting to give up and feeling down and out and not thinking that things were going to get better. I actually know this on a really real level, like from multiple times in my life, which when I look back now it’s almost funny to me that I would go through it like the third and fourth time because I have gone through it once so you think I would have learned That things always get better.
And so I felt like this was a good episode to just talk about not giving up, and how to actually move through when things are really hard. And everything in your experience is showing you that things are really hard. And, you know, I’ve got my own experiences. I don’t think they’re anything any harder than anyone else has experienced. But nonetheless, they were, like, heartbreaking things. And times where I felt like, Oh, my God is this is like, this is really it like, this is like life. This is not what I set out to have happen. And I remember and I and I just posted inside our Facebook group, but I remember when my daughter was little.
And when I say little, I mean, like first grade, and I lived in Atlanta, and I was working for a copier company. So I sold copiers and I had a territory in Atlanta. But I would literally walk, like I parked my car and walk to businesses, like door to door, like asking about their copier. So I would be in heels and I would be sweating, my buzzer goes off, I would be going door to door. Like it was pretty miserable. And I was divorced.
And relationships were like really a struggle because I was hadn’t taken time to like really look within right. So I had a crappy relationship. And I remember I had to drive my daughter to daycare in the morning. So I’d have to bring her to daycare before I even went to work. So they would feed her breakfast. And then I would pick her up from daycare or Yeah, up from daycare, they would pick her up from school, and bus her so she’d be taking one of those buses to the daycare. And I know you might be thinking like, well, that’s not that bad. But it was heartbreaking to me because that’s not like when I grew up, my mom was a stay at home mom, right? And like had cookies
when we came home.
You know what I mean? So for me, this was like, This is not a win against my belief system of how a kid is supposed to grow up, and what their experience is going to be, which made me a failure.
And so it
wasn’t even the exhaustion of it, of having to get up so early and drop her off and then fight Atlanta traffic and get into Atlanta, and work all day and then know that she was at daycare and picking her up from date. Like it wasn’t even the exhaustion. But it was also this internal feeling of complete failure like that I was divorced. And I had a small kid and like, what was I doing? And why had I made such crappy decisions that brought me to this place.
And I just remember, I was struggling so much. And you guys, I wasn’t 23. I was like 35 or 36. Like, this was 12 years ago. You know what I mean? This wasn’t like when I was just too stupid to know any better. I kept thinking like, I’m smarter than this. And I remember at one point thinking,
like, I went through such a difficult time
when my mom died when I was in high school.
And then to have this, like, why did I even bother living through that? This is like, this is what I get so great. You live through that awful thing. And then this is what you get this other awful thing.
And so I really felt like, what How is this even worth it? So, you know, we all have things that we go through. And so my things are not better or worse than anybody else’s. But my point is just simply that I do know, desperate times. And I do know like I was broke as a joke, that job paid nothing. And I had to hustle my buns off just to make a commission so I could actually pay my bills, like it was misery.
And so I know what that feels like. And I know what it’s like when everything around you is saying your experience really sucks. Right? This is not the experience. So here’s what happened for me. And this is, you know, what I want to share with you is that I remember my experience sucked. Like there was no denying it.
And I remember thinking, this feels so uncomfortable. I was not into the law of attraction, any like I wasn’t, but I always had a feeling of my personality was to look at the bright side, right? So my personality was to see the hope in stuff. But I remember even that was getting difficult, like where I was like, this sucks, you know? So I remember there was a moment where I was driving to work one day, and I thought I’ve got to surround myself with something positive. Like I’ve got to surround myself with something that’s really good. And I’ve got to be thinking about something that’s different than what I Thinking about. And I realized that the things I was thinking about was like, when I was driving to work, I had to drive
like, you know, there’s traffic. This is a huge traffic area, and it took me forever. And my tires were so bald, I knew I needed new tires. And I remember being like, driving and thinking, like, I just don’t want to blow a tire, like I just want to get to work. And I don’t want to blow a tire. And then I want to get to where I have to go for work downtown.
And I don’t want to bloat like so these were the things I was thinking about. And I remember one day I was driving, and I was thinking that very thing. I don’t want to blow a tire. And then I thought, I’ve got to think of something different like this is this was making me feel so awful, to be worried and tense and like to be thinking about all of this awful stuff all the time. And so that’s really how it started. It wasn’t that like the law of attraction says it just was like, I have to feel better. And I have to feel better by thinking something different.
YouTube was around, I’m trying to think of YouTube was new, I must not have been. But I felt like I hadn’t really been on YouTube a lot. And I went on YouTube to try to find something that was like positive.
I ended up stumbling across this, this clip from a movie. And the movie was called facing the giants. Honestly, I’ve never seen the whole movie, I know that it’s like a Christian based movie, which wouldn’t be something that I would like actively seek out and go see. But this clip came into my awareness. And I watched it.
And you can see it, I put it on the Facebook page. And something about the clip. It fed into my it’s about a football team, right? Again, I haven’t seen the movie, but the clip is about a football team. And this one guy on the football team that is doing something really hard. And his coaches like pushing him to keep going even though it’s hard. So the coaches yelling, keep going, don’t give up, keep going don’t give up. And I set that as my homepage.
And every day, when I got into work, it was like already, I felt like I had lived like two days because I’d gotten up so early and gotten my kid ready and got her out of the house and got her to daycare and got to work and was there and I would drink my coffee. And I would watch this video. And I would almost cry.
I probably cried most of the time when I watched it. But it helped inspire me that if this person could do hard things, I can do hard things to write. I know it was just a movie and just a movie clip. But it spurred me to keep going. And so I believe in the power of movies and inspirational stuff that you can find on YouTube and all of that and knowing that other people go through hard things too. And if other people can get through hard things, and I could find people that were going through something way harder than I was.
And they were surviving, they weren’t getting through it. And so that’s my number one tip is to go and find something that inspires you find somebody who inspires you, you know, you could watch that facing the Giants movie, that pursuit of happiness, like that’s a great movie to be like keep going right? Find a way figure it out, be resourceful, and just keep moving forward.
There. There are loads of like inspirational clips put together of different movies and different things you can find on YouTube, there is real power in that. So if you’re if you are struggling, and you’re listening to me and you’re like, I need more than an inspirational video, you might not you might actually need to just take that step where you’re actually doing that and exposing yourself to something different. And it might spur something in you, that then creates momentum to go in a way that you need to be able to pick yourself up and keep going and push through and see a new opportunity and see another way of doing things or how you could do things in an in a new way so that you’d get a different result.
So Les Brown is an awesome speaker. I love listening to Les Brown, he has a great voice, but he has some really great videos and and lots of times you’ll notice those compilation videos have Les Brown in them because his voice is so good, right? It’s sort of like that Morgan Freeman voice you know where it’s just like this really good thing to listen to. So check that out. You know the power of music. I have my soundtrack of awesome on Spotify.
I listen to music all the time to change my vibration and raise me up. And I remember doing that. I remember way back listening to Peter Gabriel. Okay, do you remember this song with Peter Peter Gabriel I’m Kate Bush, and it was called don’t give up. That was the name of the song. And the video was were real weird and creepy, and they just hugged the entire video, I need to Google that. But they just hugged the whole video and sing the song, but the song was just it made you go, Okay, I’m not gonna give up like it inspired you.
Right? So music can do that these clips can do that. So find something outside of yourself that feeds you. So you have the strength within you this is what I believe is that all of the things that we go through, are given to us, or chosen by us.
I believe that we decide long before we come into this adventure on Earth. These are the struggles, these are the things we want to move through. I don’t think that we specifically pick like, I’m going to really struggle and get divorced and work at a coffee computer. I don’t think we do that. But I think we make a decision, I’m going to move through this really hard thing. You know, I’m going to learn this, I’m going to learn this skill. I’m going to learn this about myself.
And so what ends up happening is we have these experiences in order to learn so because I believe that anytime I’m going through something really difficult, I think, well, I’m I was designed to go through this, I was actually made to go through this. So it must not be bigger than me. So it must be there’s a way for me to get out. There must be a way for me to move through this, there must be a way I’m supposed to learn something and keep going.
And so what do I need? What do I need for my spirit in the meantime, and for me, for my spirit, in the meantime, I needed that video, I needed to see that kid on the football field doing this thing every morning so that I would believe that I could do it too. So what is it that you need to believe? And where can you find it right? So go out and find those resources, find the thing that’s going to fill you up, find the thing that’s going to inspire you find the music, the movies, whatever it is, and surround yourself with that stuff.
Because what you’re probably surrounding yourself with right now is the dread, the dread of what you’re going through, or the dread of what’s happening or the dread of the negative thing that you don’t want to happen? So you’re thinking about it, right? So what if you can shift all that, and you can shift that to focus on something a little bit better. And then the next tip that I have is to focus on all the stuff you’ve already made it
I remember when that was when that was happening thinking, you know, I didn’t make it through all of that with my mom, in order to not make it through this. I mean, my God, right, like, of course. So I’ve already made it through hard things. You know, when I was just at a college a year or two out of college, I ran a marathon, and I’m not like a runner. So I did the whole marathon 26.2 miles. And I did that it was really hard. And I trained and it was really hard.
And I did it. And it was really hard. And so sometimes I will pull from that even now I still have the metal, because it was really hard. And I did it. Right. I didn’t give up. I didn’t start training and then change my mind, like I kept going. So you have these things, too. You have loads of examples of times where you’ve made it through hard things.
And here’s the thing, we do this with our kids, I’m gonna say maybe you don’t I do. I do it with my kid, where sometimes if something’s really hard, I’ll try to rescue her. Right, I’ll try to stop it because I don’t want her to go through the pain. It was really hard lesson for me to learn that I had to let her fall, I had to let her fail. And here’s why is because we get self confidence when we pick ourselves up and move through it. That’s how you build your self confidence.
So I was robbing her of her self confidence by trying to catch her and trying to save her from having a negative experience. But I know from my own self, the times that I’ve moved through stuff. I mean that marathon was 20 years ago, you guys, maybe more than that, and I still talk about it, because it made me into a stronger person. I’m proud of it.
But I was stealing that from my kid. I was taking that from her by not letting her struggle and have to figure it out and get over it and move forward. Right? So I want you to notice and just take note of all of the times that you have gone through something and you’ve done it and let that fuel you let that change the way you think about yourself. What if you’re going through this really awful thing? What if you’re totally struggling, you’re about to lose your job.
Your husband just left you feel like crap. And then you just start remembering all of the things you’ve done that are great, because who you really are. who you really are at the core. Isn’t this. You know who I am isn’t Betsy. It isn’t this person that I have become you It who I really am, is this infinite soul.
And if that’s true, then if that’s who you are, really, you are this infinite soul, this being that’s here experiencing, you have sort of this shell of who you think you are. But if you could tap back into that, and you could get in contact with that thing. And you could remember how many times that that helped you push through, and that helped you succeed. And that helps you win. And then you can use that as strengths. You can use that as fuel that you will win
again, of course you will. And that if you’re going through something really hard, there’s a, there’s lessons in it for you that are built to make you into the next version of you. That’s even better, that’s even stronger, that impacts people and the people that you love, and maybe the world in a totally different way.
And so if what you’ve been doing isn’t working for you, if you’re like this life that I have right now, no, I don’t like this. We’ll celebrate that because you’ve figured out what you don’t like. And honestly, it is really difficult to know what you do like, unless you know what you don’t like. I know, you’re like, well, it’s obvious, I don’t want to lose my house. Right?
It’s obvious, I don’t want to lose my job. Well, is it? You know, I’m trying to make decisions for myself with some big things in my life. And I’m realizing I don’t have enough contrast. Like I have this idea of the beach, right, which I realized is not like losing your job. I’m just using it as an example. But I realized, we were talking where would we move, I don’t have enough contrast, I always go to like the same for for three or four beaches, like I don’t have enough contrast to make a really good decision.
Contrast is really good. It helps you that crappy experience that I had when I worked at that copier company, that experience of dropping my kid off and feeling like an awful mother, like that was exactly what I needed at that time. Because it made me know what it was that I did not want. I didn’t want to have to leave her every morning. That’s not what I wanted. If I hadn’t had that experience, I wouldn’t have really realized that, well, then I could make different choices, right?
In the last five years. That’s not what I’ve done. I haven’t had to leave, right because I created something different, probably something I never would have created. And so you’re listening to this podcast, because I had that experience. Working at the copier company and dropping off my kid. I mean, honestly, so much good can come out of our struggles, but you have to allow it.
So here’s what here’s what you need to do. You need to find some things that inspire you and watch those every single day you brush your teeth every day, right? You take a shower every day, watch something or do something that inspires you get excited that you’re recognizing the contrast that you’re having something to compare to.
Because of that is actually you know, last week if you listen to last week’s episode, we talked about the vortex, well, you can get really clear on what you want and what you want to call into the vortex when you have the negative, right when you have the contrast. Well, that makes the whole thing a whole lot easier. So get excited that you’re understanding now what you want and what you don’t want, find movies and things and music to fill you up. And start to recognize all of the times where you’ve moved through really hard things and you’ve done really hard things, and you’ve made it and find other people who have made it too.
if you are struggling, if life is not what you want it to be right now. I hope that you feel a little bit of hope. I hope you have some ideas to help you shift and I hope you know that you’re not alone. Lots of other people have gone through really shitty things. And it doesn’t make your ship any less shitty. But it makes you human.
So when you can recognize that, and you can start to notice, even in those glimmers, right those glimmers when things are really crappy, you notice something that’s good. That is how you live a big life. All right, you guys, I will see you all next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you found it a value, please share it with your friends, tag me on Instagram or leave a review on iTunes or any of your listening apps. If you leave a review, and you take a screenshot, please email it to us at support at Betsy pake.com.
And we will send you a self hypnosis audio that will help you break down any limiting beliefs that you have. So thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for leaving your review. And don’t forget to join us inside our Facebook group by going to the art of living big.com and I’ll see you there.