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You’re listening to Episode 170 of The Art of Living big. Good morning, everybody. I missed everyone last week. So no episode last week, which was actually the very first time I’ve ever planned that. The only other time I haven’t had an episode is back in February when I was dying of the flu or whatever I had. So I thought about you guys all last week. And I’m excited to be back with this episode. But here’s the thing, what are we going to talk about today? So I’ve been thinking about this, and I really couldn’t come up with what we were going to talk about. And then I decided to just set everything up and hit play. And that’s what happens when we make a decision. And we just move forward, right, we don’t always have to know where we’re going to go. So I’m excited for this episode today. I hope that you enjoy it. And before we get started, I have a couple quick things just to remind you
of don’t don’t fast forward because
this might be fun, even though you’ve heard it before. But I do have a free training, it’s on my website, if you go to Betsy Pake calm. And it tells you the five shifts that I use with my clients. You know, sometimes you feel like you’re stuck or struggling in a crisis, and you don’t know how to move through. So I give you the five shifts, because the things that you think you’re supposed to do typically aren’t the
things that you really
could move you forward. So I hope that that serves you. If you haven’t watched it, you can jump over to Betsy pake.com and
sign up and watch it there.
And I just want to thank
all of the people that share this show with their friends. It means so much to me, honestly, when I see you and you tag me on Instagram or Facebook or wherever or leave me a review on iTunes. Honestly, I toss confetti around and click my heels together. I’m really so honored. So thank you. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me in to your ears and your time and sharing me with your friends. So all right,
so let’s go to the show.
Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host,
Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert
from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life.
Now let’s go live big.
Hello fellow adventurers.
So I am home
from a trip to Key West. And I’m not going to bore you too much with my own story. But I do want to tell you that it was a magical wonderful trip. If you’ve never been to Key West and I have been a couple times, but just like off a cruise ship. So not like spending extended time. And I’m not a big drinker, as we’ve talked about. So it’s not you know, there’s that Duvall street which is like party place. But the the whole island just felt really magical and really cool. And if you’ve ever been to the Caribbean, it totally feels like you’re on a Caribbean island. But you’re in the United States.
So it’s it just was like just so awesome. So we went and spent an entire week was so great, because I was able to disconnect from other stuff, right? So disconnect from life and just soak it all up and really be in the moment. And you know, I talk a lot about being where you are and being in the moment. And it is something that I have to be aware of, because just like you my brain will go forward or backwards. And there was a moment where we were there.
And we were at breakfast and we went to this place called the banana cafe, if you’ve ever been to Key West, you’ve probably been to the banana cafe, we went there like almost every morning, and I was drinking my coffee. And all of a sudden I was like I am totally in the moment. So being there just felt so good, because I was able to be in the moment. So it is not beachy. You know q s does really like a rock.
And so I’m going to go and investigate some of the
other keys. But I will tell you that when we went to leave, like my poor husband, because I just bawled my head off, I was just crying, crying, crying in the hotel room, and I started crying a little bit at the airport. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to come home, I was so ready to come home. And I was so ready to get back to work.
But I didn’t want to leave the island. And it just felt so fun and magical. So I don’t know, I don’t know if I found my place. So we’re gonna go down and investigate a little bit more in some of those other keys. And I will keep you guys posted. But for sure there needs to be a retreat down there because it just felt so fun. And we kind of scoped out some places where that could happen. So more to come on that in the future. So
in all of that, usually when I’m going through my life, I’m thinking like, Oh, I could talk about this or this would be a good thing to share. And I had a few moments like that while we were gone. But for the most part I was really disconnected and not thinking like that, and so This week, I’ve come home and I’m getting back in the swing of it and getting back with my clients and, you know, talking to some new folks, and it’s just felt so good. It’s felt so fun to be back.
But also I’m like, What am I going to talk about on this show? Like, I usually have lots of ideas, but I’ve been so in the moment. And then all of a sudden has occurred to me, that maybe that’s what I talk about is being in the moment, and how do we really be in the moment? And I think that there’s a difference between being aware that I need to be in the moment and really being in the moment. And, you know, when I look back on last week, when I was drinking my coffee at the banana cafe, I don’t know how that happened, right? So I can’t give you a step by step, do this first and then do this?
How do I get in the moment? And so I, I’ve thought a little bit about that. And I want to dive into that just a little bit about really living in the moment. And here’s why. Here’s why I think it’s so important is because if I’m going forward, you know, it’s great to be able to visualize every morning, and it’s great to be able to have dreams and goals. Absolutely. But I know for me, I spent a lot of years trying to achieve and have dreams and goals.
And it always led me to being forward thinking, right, so I’m always shooting for what’s ahead. And I think that there’s value in that and knowing what we want, but the value of our life and the fulfillment in our life comes from being right in the present moment. And you know, if we’re too forward thinking, then we can get anxiety. If we’re too backward thinking then we can be stuck in shame or guilt. And both of those are frequencies that we don’t want to be in.
So last week, I
realized that what made me feel so high vibration was that I was truly, in myself, and in the moment and I wasn’t judging or planning or, like thinking about stuff. And it, it felt so good.
you may have, you may know that I wrote, I’ve written a couple books. And I wrote one, several, like five years ago when I owned my CrossFit gym right when I sold it, and I focused on nutrition. But I always had this idea for the book I wanted to write which was start small, live big. And I don’t know if it’s the greatest book in the world, if I were to write a book today, I think it might be different. And I’m thinking about that. But I will tell you that I wanted to write this book, I had this idea, right. And the
whole idea if you’ve ever read start small, live big
is that all great things start small. All you know, we look at Oprah, right the goddess Oprah. And we think like she just became that, like she just woke up one day and was that but really, she started out very differently. And she made small, intentional steps, right to move forward. And so the whole premise of the book is that when we can take small steps, that’s how we really live big. We don’t live big by just like showing up one day and being like I am the greatest coach in the world.
And I’m a greatest podcast, like when I started my podcast is a head start really small, and then it’s built and built, right. And it will continue to build and be something different, you know, six months from now or a year from now. But I remember, here’s the here is the problem.
When we get too far forward thinking, I remember when I was when I wrote that book. When I was writing that book, I did not realize that I thought I’m going to write this book. And as soon as the book is done and out, it will like everything will change. Like I didn’t even consciously realize that’s what I thought until the book was out. And I got a pre copy. And the publisher sent me a copy before it came out on Amazon. And I got it in the mail. And I was excited about it. I actually had my daughter videotape me and opening the package right to see the book for the first time.
It’s like birthing a baby. And as soon as I deleted the video because the moment I opened the package, I just started to cry. I realized that everything in my life hadn’t changed. The book was here and everything hadn’t changed. And all I did for four months was hope and dream and think about how it’s going to be better. And so I didn’t I missed four months of my life because I wasn’t in that moment. I didn’t enjoy anything about the journey and honestly the book, you know, it’s fine.
No, it didn’t ever take off. I sold way more of the other book that wasn’t nearly as intentional. So I share that with you because When we’re always forward thinking, when we’re always thinking, well, when, as soon as I, then, so I want you to be aware of where you’re at,
because I was, as soon as this book comes out, then I’ll be successful. And I opened that book. And the moment I opened it, I didn’t feel successful. And I cried, because I was like, Oh, my God, this, isn’t it, this isn’t the thing that will make me successful. And so I had to back up and go, what makes me successful today, I have to redefine what makes me successful. Because if I’m constantly chasing something in the horizon, I’m never going to feel good, I’m never going to have enough, I’m never going to feel like I’m enough.
And that I realized was why in my life, I was constantly chasing, I’m going to do this thing, I’m going to do this, I got to achieve, I gotta do this, I got to do this. When really, I could be successful just by being who I was. And if I was being who I fully was, I could be truly successful, because that’s success is being happy with who you are. being fully in the moment, right, being able to experience the journey and the life that you have in this moment. So I share that story with you.
Because for me, it was such a moment of getting to the future thing isn’t going to be the thing. So if you’ve listened to the podcast for a while, what do I do? I talk about the beach all the time, right? As soon as I get to the beach, I’ll feel free. As soon as I get to the beach, then life will be easy. I don’t know what it is, I think I think something about it’s gonna happen at the beach. And so I share that with you because you have that thing too. So I want you to think, what is it that you say? Well, as soon as I lose those 10 pounds, then I’ll, I’ll all get family photos taken.
Or as soon as I get that promotion, then I’m going to bring my family on a vacation. Or as soon as I pay off this debt, then I’m going to feel good about myself. So I want you to just think about where it is that you are stopping yourself from living truly living big, because you have to hit something else first, right?
Because I have to do something else has to happen. Before I can be okay. Something else has to happen before I can be successful, something else has to happen. And if that is you, which I believe everybody has this, then I want you to stop and pause and redefine, redefine what that final result really is and what that really means for you. So how do I live in the moment? How do I have the feeling and the thing that I want to have?
When I get to the beach by being here right now? How do I have the feeling that I thought I was going to have when I wrote the book and the book came out and I was successful? What does that mean? So here’s how I sort of go about this. This is how I look at all of this, to try to decipher what it really is. Now, you may even save those exact words to yourself. Like as soon as I then I will. I noticed I said this about myself. I’m going to get photos taken from my website, new photos as soon as I lose 10 pounds, right? So I noticed myself saying that. And when we were walking around the island, I would say to my husband like as soon as I live here, I’m going to walk more because I’ll be like, someplace I want to walk around, right?
So I want even though you might be thinking, well, Betsy, if you would walk around more than it’s true, I get it. But I want you to notice where you do this. So I want you to grab a piece of paper and I want you to write when I and then a blank line, then I will and then a blank line. And so I want you to just I want you to copy this like three or four times.
So you have several options. Okay, so you have a couple of them here. And I want you to just notice and think about where do I say this and if you just start saying it, it will it will come out. Like when I as soon as I then I’m going to write so as soon as I then I’m going to and I want you to just come up with your three or four. And when you do this you’re going to notice what your real goal is what your real outcome is, what is the real thing that will make you feel in the moment that will bring you into a place where you feel successful.
And after you’ve done this, I just want you to take your pen and I want you to write a line through the words when I then I want you to stop when it gets to I will and then what do you have left? You should have three or four. I will feel free and happy right I will get my photos taken. I will get outside in nature and why More. So what are your things? And I think, and I truly believe that the key is getting rid of the when I, that is when we just start taking action, that is when we start living in the path that we really want to be. And that’s when we start doing things that make us feel fulfilled. And that’s when we can get really clear on what that even is.
So I want you to notice,
just like I did, as I suddenly became mindful of drinking my coffee and being in the environment I wanted to be in. And vacations are great because they can pull us out. But I want to be able to do this more and more in my regular life, right? I don’t want to have to escape in order to get clarity. And so I’m going to start noticing when I say these words, when I as soon as we as soon as we move to the beach, I’m going to that’s going to be my key, right? As soon as I hear myself saying that, I’m going to stop and erase everything before the I will. And I believe when we begin to get clarity on what really would make us feel alive. And when we start to take action on those things.
is when we can start to live a big life. All right, you guys, thanks so much for listening this week. And I will see you next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you found it a value, please share it with your friends, tag me on Instagram or leave a review on iTunes or any of your listening apps. If you leave a review, and you take a screenshot, please email it to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a self hypnosis audio that will help you break down any limiting beliefs that you have. So thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for leaving your review. And don’t forget to join us inside our Facebook group by going to the art of living big.com and I’ll see you there.