177: What I'm no longer willing to tolerate - Betsy Pake

177: What I’m no longer willing to tolerate


Today’s episode Betsy talks about what she is no longer willing to tolerate in life and some steps you can take to identify and understand what you are tolerating too.

To find the Facebook group head here:  WWW.TheArtofLivingBig.com

If you want the Peloton code it is T4MMM . Find Betsy on the bike at #LiveBigBP


You’re listening to Episode 177 of The Art of Living bag. If you’re new here, welcome. I want to invite you to join us inside my facebook group. If you just type in your browser, The Art of Living big.com, it will forward you right to the Facebook group. And I coach in there usually once a week or so we’ve got some fun stuff an awesome group.

So come find your tribe and be in there with us. Now today I’m talking a little bit about what I am no longer willing to tolerate in my life. Some upgrades that I’ve been making and shifts and changes and how that sort of came to be. I also talk a little bit about my peloton because I bought a peloton if you follow me on Instagram,

I bought a peloton is the greatest thing ever. Like I am totally obsessed with it. But I want to tell you something really quick, because this was an awesome thing that a friend shared with me. So I bought the peloton bike and I bought the shoes. And I have a friend that shared her code with me. So I essentially got the shoes for free. So I wanted to share my code with you. Because then if you want to do it, you could get your shoes for free too.

And I also get something so I get like apparel credit or something which is cool. But really, I want you to get your shoes for free. So what you do is you put your bike or your your you know your bike or your treadmill in the cart, and then you add $100 worth of accessories. So for me, I put the bike in my cart, and then I added the bike shoes,

and then I put in the code and the code

you’d put in is t as in Thomas for m m m. That’s it. And that’ll take the hundred dollars off. So you essentially get the shoes basically for free.

So I just wanted to share that with you because you’re probably if you follow me on social media, you’ll see I have a mild obsession with the bike way better than I thought I would. I am not like I was not a spin girl or anything like that. So it’s been really fun to have something that is like kind of get you motivated and has like that little competition piece to it. So it keeps you going so so if you are already a peloton, user find me so that we can connect on there. My my handle is live big BP. I know. I know. But that’s what it is. So join me on there. And now let’s go to the show.

Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in manifesting from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. So if you’re new here, the reason I say that is because I believe that we are all here in this physical manifestation to have an adventure. And so when I look at the life, my life like that, or the world like that, it makes the downs easier because I feel like it’s part of the roller coaster, right? It’s part of the ups and downs of life and being here having an adventure. And honestly,

if everything was perfect all

the time, how boring would that be?

Right? So if you are new here, welcome, welcome. This is sort of if you’re new here, this is sort of an interesting show, I think, because sometimes I teach and sometimes I just share stuff. And and I just hope that the lessons that are happening in my life, apply to your life. And I do believe that so many of our stories, overlap and just hearing each other’s stories and knowing that other people’s lives, have ups and downs to make the whole journey better. Every alarm I have in my house just went off.

So I’m gonna actually, you know,

I’ll tell you what that alarm is. Because it’s 9am.

And actually, I’m going to tell it,

tell you what that alarm is, as we go along because it actually could be part of this


So things over on my side of the world have been busy and not busy over the last week and a half. I realized that when I came home from Key West, if you’ve been following along for a while, you know, like 11 weeks ago, I went to Key West for a week. And I took the week off and it was like the first time I had really taken a week off.

And then in a long time. And then I came home and worked every single day. Like I had phone calls every day. I was I was so tired. I have no idea why I did that other than I got my certification for emotion code and I had decided you have to do 30 practice

and move Code

sessions with people, and they give you six months to do it. But in my mind, I thought I’m gonna bang this out. I remember actually like saying that I’m just gonna bang this out, well, if you’ve ever tried to add 30 hours to an already really busy schedule, I totally overwhelmed myself. And so over the past week, I just was like, I haven’t been hustling, and focused so much on the masculine energy of, you know, we all have masculine and feminine energy.

And I’d been focusing so much on the masculine energy, like working, hustling, like scheduling, good, you know, all these things, I just needed a minute to breathe. And so decided to give myself that space. So although, yeah, I slowed down, it actually didn’t feel like slowing down because it felt like even when I was taking that space, it was like this, the time was full, because I was coming inward again.

And I was meditating every day, a whole lot longer than I had been, you know, I was doing my visualization exercises. And most importantly, I was coming up with a list of things that I no longer wanted to tolerate in my life. Now, over the past six weeks or so, I’ve been sort of on this, I feel like there’s been a transition. And you may have felt that too, I think a lot of people have been feeling that in in August.

And even in September, like there were things I realized that I was tolerating, about my life that I no longer wanted to tolerate. But I had to give myself this space, to regroup, and to adjust and see what’s happening in my life. Now, if I want to know what’s going on inside my brain,

all I have to do is look around me at my outside,

right? As within, so without, and so I just started looking at my life, and where I could start to adjust and where I was tolerating things that in the past, maybe I wouldn’t have tolerated, or even the version of me, the higher version of me, would not tolerate. And I, I really just started getting a lot of clarity around that.


in all of that, so all of this stuff is happening. And as with life, you know that there are lots of turning parts, right? So I’m starting to think, you know, and this is, like eight weeks ago, or so, what am I tolerating, that I no longer want to tolerate, and what’s happening in my life that I wish was different.

Meanwhile, all the while I am getting really over scheduled, because I’m doing this emotion code stuff, which has been fantastic and amazing. And I finished and so that was really incredible. But there was this part of me that was like, Okay, now I’ve got to come back into myself and regroup. And maybe you have this time too.

And maybe it’s been years, and maybe you don’t even know how to really do that, to come back into yourself. You know, so many times we’ll have struggles or things that happen. And I know for me in my, in my past, you know, in my 20s and 30s, I would go to a friend and say what do you think? And now I especially last 1112 weeks, really trying to go within? So not even say anything to anyone else until I know what I would do.


so really looking at my life, so I’ve been looking at things, what do I not no longer want to tolerate? And how can I start to make those adjustments. Now in all of that, like we have all these things and all these wheels turning, I started noticing things that I you know, maybe had been in my awareness before but didn’t really mean anything. And I was reminded of there’s a movie, um, it’s an Amy Schumer movie. And it’s called, I feel pretty, I think, I think that’s the name of it. Y

ou know what I’m talking about. So if you haven’t seen this movie, basically the whole idea is that she gets like knocked on the head. She’s the idea in the movie is that she is chunky, and has really low self confidence, doesn’t like herself is unhappy with her life. She gets bonked on the head, and then suddenly looks in the mirror and sees herself as everything she would want to ever see.

Right? So she’s beautiful. She’s smart, she’s charming. Meanwhile, nothing has changed except the way that she thinks about herself. And so because she changes how she thinks about herself, she starts acting totally different. And the reaction she’s getting from people all around her is totally different. And it begins this whole idea, in my mind as I was thinking about that. Now I saw that movie, like maybe a year ago, but I was thinking about that over the last month or so. Like, remember That movie, well, then I was on Netflix the other night.

And I watched just a couple episodes. So if you have seen, there is a new Netflix show called Living with yourself. And it’s Paul Rudd. I’ve only watched like two episodes. So it may be that it unfolds. And it is not in the way that I’m describing. But the first couple episodes were very similar. So the guy is super unhappy with his life, low self confidence, his relationship sucks, like, he’s just not happy, and he can’t figure out what he needs to do. And a friend tells him about this spot to go to where basically they, they clone him into the highest version of him.

And then that version of him goes out and lives like this amazing life, right. So again, I’ve only watched a couple episodes, so that as far as I got, so I know, there’s like shenanigans that take place, right? so crazy things that happen. But it got me thinking again, and it’s actually what made me remember that Amy Schumer movie, once again, I was like, oh, that keeps coming back to me.

So I’ve got these things that I no longer want to tolerate in my life. And then I’ve got these representations, these things that keep coming in my mind up in my life that are showing me, it is not about it, I’m going to say it in this way. And then I’m going to just say it the way it’s coming to me and then I can correct myself after it’s not about who you are, it’s about how you’re showing up.


it is about what you think about who you are.


it’s about the actions that you take. And this I know to be true. Absolutely. The actions that you take come directly from what you think about your life and what you think about who you are, and what you think about what is

available to you,

and what you think about what you’re capable of every single thing, I have one of those felt like letter boards in my office, you know, where you put the lid, you know, you know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever been on Pinterest, right? And so I just put on there, I’m going

to turn to look at it,

nothing is in the way, nothing is in the way, the only thing in the way are all the sunglasses that we wear that tell us who we are all the sunglasses that we wear that say I’m capable of this, but not of this, I could show up this way, but not like that. I could be this person, but I couldn’t be that person. So the only thing that’s stopping us is what we think because what we think impacts how we act.

Now, this is the work on a on a much, much, much deeper level that I do every day with my clients, but it is changing that identity, changing who you really think you are, and how to do that there’s so many different levels of that, because probably by now it’s been 30 4050 years that you have been thinking one way. So to lift up the needle on the record and move it to a different spot isn’t as easy as you know, as as just one like 10 seconds, right? Like, it’s not just a decision, although that’s a huge part of it. But you’ve got to change yourself subconsciously. And then you’ve got to condition that every day.

And so making those shifts can happen, it doesn’t mean it has to take a long, long time. But it does mean that things have to unfold, and there will be layers. And there will be pieces of this that show themselves to you. And then you have an opportunity to make another shift and another shift and another shift, until you can finally


in alignment with where it is you really want to go and how you want to show up and who you want to be. So you could get hit on the head. And you could just move forward and act totally different and become a totally different person. But for most of us, like that’s not quite that simple.

And so we’ve got to be able to make these shifts and start to see that we are the ones that are in the way to get to where we really want to go. And you know, one of the biggest things that I think happens when I’m talking to people is when I talk to people for the very first time, and they’re just trying to get clear on what it is they’re struggling with. Because that’s a huge issue.

They’re like, I know, my life isn’t good, but I don’t really

know what it is that’s causing the struggle, right? And so when I’m talking to them, man, at the end of the call, I’ll usually ask like, so where do you

really want to go? What’s the dream?

And you know, what happens like 90% of the time is that people tell me, again, all the things they don’t want, well, I don’t really want this and I don’t want that and you know, I would really have this be different.

You know, and then they’ll throw in something that they do like

but then they’ll discount it with what they don’t like because we’re conditioned and some They’re fall, it’s because we’re conditioned that way. And so you’ve got to recondition, you’ve got to shift the way you see things because we have 60 to 90,000 thoughts a day. And 90% of those are the same thoughts we had yesterday. So if yesterday didn’t get you where you want to go, you’re just recreating it today unless you do something different. So if you don’t want to get bonked on the head, or go to a spa, that clones you, you’ve got to start to make some shifts at the level of your identity. And, you know, I think that this is sometimes can sound a little bit simpler than it is. But like I said, making that shift will start to open up opportunity. So here’s why, probably for everything that you want, right? Now, there is an opportunity around you, you just don’t see


it doesn’t catch your eye, you’re not aligned to it.

And so because of that,

it appears that you don’t have the opportunities that you need to get what you want. And then you’re like, I’m stuck. But if we can shift your subconscious, so that it is scanning for the thing that you want, it is much, much, much easier to be able to come into alignment, and then you’re like, I manifested this thing. And it was really that the thing was always there, but you just became in resonance with it. And then it showed up. So, you know, I’ve been wanting to I’ve been saying this on the podcast, you know, I’ve been wanting to start working out and to find something that feels fun. And, you know, how can I How can I do that? How can I shed some of this weight? I mean, in the last three and a half weeks, I think I’ve lost 10 pounds, right? So it doesn’t feel hard. It doesn’t feel stressful? I the peloton I’ve known about for years and years. But

I wasn’t in resonance with

it. It didn’t. It didn’t. I didn’t go oh, maybe that would that I’m ready for that. Right. So it is also about being ready. So when you’re ready, I’m in a place where I am ready for this, I want this. And then it becomes simple and easy and doesn’t even take any, any effort at all. It feels more fun and in alignment. And that doesn’t just mean working out that could be in your career that could be in your relationship. What if your relationship didn’t feel stressful? What if it didn’t feel like a push and pull all the time? What if it felt like when you first started dating? Right? What if it felt more fun and in an alignment, and that you are on the same path? I completely 1,000% believe that we can have these kinds of shifts on our on MSA like this on our own, because when we shift whether it’s struggles with somebody at work, it’s struggle with your mate, it’s, you know, struggle with yourself when we shift. Other people around us are forced to shift because we’re acting different, right? So if we go back to Amy Schumer in that movie, if you’ve seen it, everybody started acting different cuz she was acting different. There you is the law of cause and effect, you can’t stay the same, you must shift. And so I became really clear. And I urge you to do this, you know, I keep seeing stuff on Instagram. Like, we only have 68 more days before we’re in 2020, a new century or whatever I like that stuff stresses me out because it is this is it is all time as we’ve just made up time it is all on the path. You could have a huge shift before 2020. You could have a huge shift right after it’s what is right what you are ready for. And if you’re ready to be ready, then then it’s time, then it’s time and you can start looking at things. So I started looking at what am i tolerating that I’m no I no longer want to tolerate. So my weight was one of them. I’m tolerating that I was tolerating it. Like I was being okay with it. Because I was like, it feels better than having that workout a lot and change my diet. And I don’t even know what I do. And I’m busy. Right? And so I came in alignment with something that felt easier. What would be easier, right? My relationship huge changes. I did a podcast on that about how I had to change my mindset that was a couple months ago right around my relationship, insane changes.

So we can change rapidly.

And we have to condition it, which brings me back to the beeps that you heard. So I have some other things in my life right now that I’m trying to change. And so I have a use an app called chime.

I’ve talked about it before on the show. It’s this little tiny, like green app that it’s no bells and whistles on the app at all. I mean, it’s a bell is a chime. But there’s nothing fancy about it. It’s like this really basic app. And you can set it up so that it does this little chime, every, whatever you want every interval that you want. So I actually have it set right now for every 15 minutes. So I shut it off while we were recording here.

So that didn’t beep again. But every 15 minutes, I had it every 30 minutes a few days ago. And then I decided the next couple days, I’m going to do it every 15 minutes. And all I’m doing every 15 minutes is checking what have been my thoughts over the last 15 minutes? And how can I get back into resonance with what I want. And then I step back into resonance with what I want. And, you know, if you’re not sure how to do that, I do have a free training

and the free training.

Yet, let me tell you about that really quick, let me tell you two things really quick that might help you. First of all, the chime app will get will serve as a reminder so that you can come back into resonance with that.

And good episode to listen to is Episode 100 on NLP, which is really about how your whole body works and how your mind coordinates with it. And that can help you to understand a little bit better how to use that and how to get in resonance with that. It’s the work that I do really heavily with my clients. If you’re interested in having a breakthrough call with me where we can talk about that talk about what you’re really struggling with where you really want to go. You can go to my calendar, it’s Betsy pake.com backslash, let’s talk.

And if you want to watch my training, it’s free and it’s on my website, just go to Betsy pake.com. And you’ll see it right there. There’s a big button. So as we head in, to into the holidays, right into what ends up happening is everybody sets resolutions for January 1, right? And then by January 20, they’re gone. And it is because you are operating. At that point, most people are operating from a behavior and an environment.

So I want to make changes in my life. What do I do, I, I joined a gym and I meal prep, right. But if you’re not paying attention to any of the higher levels, which is your subconscious levels of your identity, your values, your beliefs, and your shifting those, the behavior in the environment will never last and will never last. And so you’ve got to shift from a higher level, you’ve got to shift from a level of your identity.

And then you’ve got to condition that every single day. So download the app, if that serves you find out get really clear on what you no longer want to tolerate. See how you want to show up in the world? Do a bonk on your head and say what if I began my day in a totally different way? Now, we’ve got to get into your subconscious because the moment you’re not consciously thinking of this, your subconscious patterns will just take over. You know how when you drive a car and you’re going to work and then all sudden you get to work? Have you ever done this?

And then you’re like, how did I get here? I don’t remember it. Right. So that’s because your subconscious patterning, patterning just takes over. It’s super helpful. I don’t have to think about when I brush my teeth. My I just do it. My body has created like the pattern of how I do that every single day and what happens, right? So I want you to just think about how you could start to shift your subconscious, how you could start to change on a much deeper level, so that you can begin to just be the new version of you instead of Act, the new version of you.

That I think is how you live a big life. Thanks so much for listening, you guys and I will talk to you next week. Thanks so much for listening to this episode. If you found it a value, please share it with your friends, tag me on Instagram or leave a review on iTunes or any of your listening apps. If you leave a review, and you take a screenshot, please email it to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a self hypnosis audio that will help you break down any limiting beliefs that you have. So thanks so much for sharing. Thanks so much for leaving your review. And don’t forget to join us inside our Facebook group by going to the art of living big.com and I’ll see you there.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.