203: Steps 3,4 & 5: Finally BEing - Betsy Pake

203: Steps 3,4 & 5: Finally BEing


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Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life.


let’s go live big. Good morning. Hello fellow

adventurers. Welcome to today’s

show. So before we get started on today’s show, I want to quick talk about intention. Last night I was talking with I was a client it was in a client session, but I want to say a friend, it was a friend client, because that’s what happens. But we were talking about intention. And, and she was saying something that I think happens with a lot of people. And you know, I’ve been doing the Monday intention episode.

And so I’m curious if this is happening with other people. So she’s building a side business and working full time. And so she says so many, it’s a little overwhelming, right? We get a little overwhelmed when we try to do too much or right on the verge of too much. And so she said, I, you know, I try to set an intention, but then my intention ends up being something like I’m going to be productive.

And so I said, you know, being productive isn’t a feeling, what do you want being productive to give you? And she said, Well, I want it to give me like, so that I can have this business. I said, Well, what does the business give you? And she said, freedom. And I said what’s freedom? And she said it’s like time opening? Like where my time is open? So I said, so your intention then is, I’m going to notice all the places today where I have an abundance of time, where my time is expanded? Do you see what I’m saying? So when we are talking, you know, in the last couple episodes here, we’ve been talking about Abraham Hicks steps right to manifesting Step one is to experience the contrast, right?

So as we’re doing that, what we want to know is what the contrast is, what we really want, then, is the intention, I want this freedom. How I bring the contrast, or how I bring the manifestation to me, is by feeling it, how do I feel it? Well, I get focused and set the intention that I’m going to feel that expansion of time. And then I bring that thing to me that would give me that. So does that make sense?

So here’s the other thing about it is that what she wants is an expansion in her time, she wants to feel abundant and have an abundance of time. So she can do these things with their kids and, you know, have these experiences and be able to have that in our life?

Well, she has an idea of how she could get there. But what if the universe has a faster idea? And what if there’s another way, or what if there is a way that is more fun on the same path, if she is super focused on I’m gonna have to have this, I’ve got to be focused, I’ve got to be that I’ve got to be productive, I’ve got to have I’ve got to accomplish, accomplish, then she’s, she’s crowding out the fun, and she’s not seeing where what she wants is already around her. And we bring what we get when we have it already.

Right. So if you have stress, you’re gonna bring more stress. If you feel freedom, you’re gonna bring more freedom. And that that’s, you know, that’s partly the universe. That’s partly our brain. That’s what our brains do. It says, oh, finding space where there’s open time, you know, I call it white, white time on my calendar. When I have some white time, I love that it gives me time to be creative, or so I noticed the wait time and then it expands.

I go, Oh, I have 30 minutes here. I didn’t realize I had 20 minutes right here. So all of the sudden, what I want is already here, which is what we want, right? And then the manifestation of all the other ways that it could happen that it could be really fun. Those are, you know, it’s seamless. So I offer that to you.

Because I think that if you if your intention isn’t a feeling, move it to a feeling and see if that helps you to sort of connect in and actually feel that expansion during the day. Getting really clear on what we want in every like segment of our day is just so important. And having that intention can help us do that. So, you know, today I’m doing the podcast, and I knew how I wanted to feel I wanted to feel like I was serving.

I wanted to feel like people were really excited to listen, right. And then after this, I’ve got a coaching session. So I again, serving is something that kind of comes up a lot in my life with my intentions, but I want to feel like I’m really helpful, right? I want See them have like a physical change on their face when they experience like a new way of thinking. So I set those intentions, you know, when I get in the car and go to the grocery store later, I will, my intention will be to get there safe and have it be easy with no traffic, right?

So think about that. Think about how you’re really setting your intentions right now what you’re saying to yourself. And notice if you can shift that a little bit so that you can actually find what it is you want that you have it already. Okay. So now, we’re gonna get into Step three, we’re gonna do like Step three, four, or five, because these are kind of they all go together. So I want to just give a recap, if you haven’t already listened, you can go back to the last two episodes. Step one, we talked about contrast, we talked about when something happens, we don’t want, then we either need to shift to what we do want, or we need to heal it.

Right? So I was talking about sometimes I’m so used to when I have contrast, I go, what is it in there that needs to be healed? Sometimes it’s not that big of a deal. And I just need to shift my thinking. Step two, is when you ask it is given. And if it’s already given, then how can I take action to make it manifest faster. So what are the actions I can take and when those feel really aligned, then

I’m moving quicker towards what it is my goal is, or my dream is or whatever. So step three, is just knowing that it is already coming to you. This is really the surrender, this is really the disengaging from the want, or the thirstiness, of having something out there that you really wish you could have. And I think that’s something that happens a lot with us when we really want something. And then we think about it and dream about it.

And then the desire for it becomes very attached. And we become very thirsty for it. And there is a need attached to it. And I find lots of times for me when that happens. I get super emotional, right? So I get like really emotionally invested of why isn’t it here? How come this hasn’t happened, right, which is what we go to, which is really what the thirsty feeling is, is that I don’t have it yet.

And I’m so like hanging on. It’s sort of like when you’re so clenched up, like if you took your fists and your fists are clenched up, and then you put them under running water, you couldn’t catch any of the water, I mean, very little because your hands aren’t open. So when you can open your hands and just allow whatever to come to you to come. And knowing and trusting that it is coming.

You know, and I use this example a lot. But when I was pregnant, for my daughter, who’s now 18, right, but when I was pregnant, I remember like, we got a crib, we got, you know, we painted her room, like we got closed, you know, we bought diapers, like we did all of those things to prepare. And I just knew she was coming like she wasn’t here yet. But I could see that my belly was growing, I could see that things were happening. You know, I believed the doctors when they said that they could see a human being inside my body. And so I prepared I was I wasn’t anxious any more anxious than any new mom, but like I wasn’t anxious about it.

I knew it was going to happen, right? Well, when we have something that we really want many times we we don’t even prepare, because we’re so anxious, and we’re so like, I’ve got to have that I got to have it. Why isn’t it happening? Why isn’t it happening? And so what I like to do is to say, how would I prepare? So if this was happening? And I believe it is and I’m going to trust that it is, then what do I need to do now to prepare?

And this may be a totally different way of thinking about it than you’ve ever thought about it before. But I want you to look at the goal or look at the dream and then say, who do I have to be? Who would I have to be to have this come true? And then begin working on who you have to be? Because when you can shift that identity piece when you can change? What are the beliefs of this person? What are the values of this person?

What What is the identity? What does she think what does she say to herself? How does she walk, you know, who does she hang around with? Who do I have to become to be the kind of person that this that happens? Now, I’m going to give you some examples because you might be thinking like, well, the manifestation I have, I don’t have to become anybody else. But maybe you’ve had it before.

And you’re like I’ve had it before but now it’s not coming. So you have shifted from who you were before. And so let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about we could talk about love and money and weight and all of the big things that people you know, that people are struggling with. So if it is money, let’s think about somebody that has a lot of money first, let’s go like Warren Buffett, if you’ve ever read anything about him, he, he

drives like the same car, he’s driven forever.

And he goes to McDonald’s, and he gets the same thing like every day. And he’s very structured, right? So I’m not saying you have to have an old car or eat McDonald’s, but he has a structure and a pattern for things. Do you think if you go into his wallet, do you think it’s a chaotic mess? Or do you think the receipts are structured and aligned? Do you think he keeps the receipts? Do you think he’s organized with his money?

Does he know where he spends all of his money? Do you think he knows what’s going on with his investments? And his companies? For the most part? I know he couldn’t get into a granular level, probably he has so much, but he probably knows right? So then let me ask you, what does your life look like? Is it organized? Does it have a structure to it? Especially around money? Or around how you make money? Is your purse a Holy Mass? Right? Do you have money that’s like stuck into your wallet? Totally not respecting it. But there’s like crumpled dollar bills or things that are folded and receipts just everywhere? At the bottom of your bag?

Is your wallet so full of crap that you can’t even close it? So what about your desk, your desk, your work area, the place where you actually create money? Is it chaotic? Do you see where I’m going with this? So who do I have to be? And I want you to shift outside of like, I’ve got to be doing this action? I’ve got to be like hustling, right? But what if it was that you needed to become energetic Lee aligned for the money, you know, inside my course, I go through an entire week where we just focus on money, we go into beliefs.

And we go into like, what we really think about money and how that shows up in terms of other people in our life, and what we think on a subconscious level, and there’s a whole map there to actually get to our subconscious beliefs about different areas of money, right? Our income, our savings, all of those areas, right? So what if you could get really clear on all of that stuff? Like, do you think things could shift for you?

Like, absolutely. And the cool thing is, is that when you do that work, right, because you’re experiencing this contrast, you have the thing that you want, and now you know who you have to be? Well, now it becomes really clear what you need to shift get rid of he’ll change. Right. And I think we skip that step all together. You know, Abraham, is awesome, and keeps the steps really succinct. But I believe that there’s a deeper level in there that we can’t just constantly shift, we’ve got to look at it, we’ve got to actually pause and look at it. That’s why meditations. so impactful, if you’re struggling with something, like stop and look at your ish, right, and then you can heal it.

And then when you can heal it, it raises your cork, right, if you listen to some of the last episodes, your cork starts to raise higher and higher. And when you raise higher and higher, you’re changing the vibration, and you’re going to end up on the vibration of the thing that you want. So let’s talk about love. Maybe you had a relationship before that was great. And now you can’t find one or now you just end up with these losers, right? So I want you to look at your stuff and say, am I loving myself enough? Where could I love myself more? How am I eating? How am I thinking? Who am I spending time with? Where do I spend my free time?

What am I listening to? What am I watching on TV? Like if I loved myself, as much as I want somebody to come and love me? What would I be doing? What would I be doing differently? How would I dress? How would I treat my body? Right? So I want you to start thinking in a different way. I want you to start thinking about who How can I become the person that has that thing? Right? And maybe it’s adventure or travel, right?

So the person that’s adventurous and try and travels all over? What do they like? Maybe you have friends like that on Facebook, study them, right? modeling, study them in a different way. Take a closer look and say well, what do they spend their money on? Maybe they don’t spend their money on stuff everyone else does because they save it all for travel because that’s their main value. Right? Maybe they spend their time watching travel shows.

When you submerse yourself in things. That thing expands energetically and also because that’s what your brains designed for. Right? So it starts to expand. So start thinking about how can I become the person that I would need to be To become. Now if you really want to dive into this, if you’re really ready to start healing some stuff, you want to change your life, maybe it’s big huge stuff, maybe it’s multiple areas of your life, right?

Then schedule a call with me because I am starting a new group in my course, that’s going to be starting in April and early right at the beginning, April, and March. So if you’re interested in jumping in on that, just schedule some time on my calendar, we can talk, we can see if you’re a good fit for the program. But we go through all of this in every different area, and we change it from an identity perspective.

We change it for values and beliefs, we drill into beliefs and give you so many tools. And I think part of the problem is that people don’t have the tools to actually shift this stuff, right. So they are experiencing the contrast, they’re trying to move. They’re trying to focus on the thing they want. They’re trying to release they’re trying to, but they don’t. They don’t know how, right I mean, I found all of these tools, because I didn’t know how and I was like this isn’t working.

Like I need to do things in a different way. And so learning those tools, being able to shift that stuff. But the very first step comes from really knowing, right, knowing what it is that you need to shift what it is you don’t want, and how could you get there? What does that person act like? What does she who is she being,

you know, circling back to what I was talking about in the very beginning about intention. When we have a desire, we’re in step one, we have contrast, we’re like, okay, I want that I want freedom, right. So I’m going to get it by creating a side business, and I’m going to build this thing out, right, and I’m going to create these, you know, whatever it is, whatever you’re gonna create, however, you’re going to do it, the the step three is really about releasing the attachment to that.

And the attachment is really just the expectation that it has to go in this way to get what you want, right, the events have to go the way you want, you know, people have to go the way the way that you want for it to happen, right? That’s an attachment. And when we are really attached and really grasping at that, and we really believe that we have to have it done that way. In order for us to feel safe, which is really what it is, it has to go this way that I think it does in my head, for me to feel safe, the stronger that expectation than the deeper that attachment is and then the more we suffer when we don’t get what it is we want.

So releasing that attachment. healing from the stuff that’s keeping you stuck in where you are in the first place, allows you to just move out of it and move into a new space move into something that’s next. And I think what happens, then as we start to really heal our stuff, we start to identify the stuff, heal the stuff, then we find, you know, much more stability and peace within ourselves, the need for the external thing to happen, kind of shifts and changes.

And then we have more love for ourselves in the space where we are. And that’s when things really start flowing, right. So see if you can release that, that hold that you have that thirstiness that you have about what it is that you want. And see if you can bring it to more of a place of openness, I’m open for whatever this is set the intentions, right of what you want, and what you want to feel. And what you want to be feeling vibrationally which if you’ve listened to other episodes, vibrationally is going to be coming from your subconscious.

So if you’ve got stuff to heal, you’ve got to go to your subconscious and heal it so that your vibration actually shifts. So step four, and Step five, step four is really staying in step three and expanding on it, right, it’s really being in a place where you feel like happy and joy and you’re kind of moving through things, whatever happens happens, you feel like the universe is working for you.

So whatever it is, you just are going to follow the path, right. So this I think is a really flowy happy place. It’s not necessarily the place where you have everything that you want, but you are content with where you are. And so you know what you want is coming and you’re not worried and you don’t have the attachment. This is really about mastering your emotions, right? It’s about mastering your emotional state.

So as we move on to Step five, Step five is really step one again, Step five is I’m experiencing the contrast, but I’m not upset about it. I’m like, Oh, it’s contrast. What What does this mean? Looks like so it’s just this way of so if you see this whole thing as a circle, right, so I go back to step one, I’m experiencing more contrast, but instead of feeling like that tight and grip around it, I go, Oh, all right.

Well, now I’m learning it. He’ll some stuff things are shifting, I can feel an energetic change. And now I see this is happening. And I’m like, what does this have for me? What’s the lessons here? So, Step five is really where step one is transmuted into, instead of a tighten grip of, like, Oh, I don’t want this. It’s more of an expansion, allowing of what is this showing me. So, I love Step five, I love to be in Step five, I circle back to step one, all the time.

And I think that’s just part of a process of being human and having this human experience. So don’t beat yourself up if you constantly find yourself back in step one. But if you do, then take some steps to make a shift, figure out what it is you need to do, right? heal what needs what’s coming up. You know, a great exercise for me,

is, you know, if there’s, if I feel like I’m really stuck in step one, so much freakin contrast, right? I’m like, Oh, my gosh, somebody put a fork in me, I’m done. I asked my subconscious before I go to bed, right when I’m in that kind of theta, brainwave state.

Now, if you’re unfamiliar with all that, I just did a facebook live in the Facebook group, you can go to the art of living, big calm, and I talk about some things you can do in that kind of Twilight place. But when you’re going to bed, then you’re in sort of that space that theta brainwave state as I’m falling asleep, and I asked my subconscious a question and I say, you know, show me how I can move out of this, show me what it is, I need to see, I asked that question all the time, show me what it is, I need to see I’m ready, I’m strong enough, I will deal with it.

And then in the morning, some thought will be in my head. That is something that I need to heal. And then I go to work, you know, I, I, I figured that out, you know, whether it’s sitting in meditation or using some of the tools to be able to shift that and so then I can release it. So now that’s not bogging me down anymore. So now step one will never be the same in that area of contrast, never because i’ve i’ve healed something.

So if this is work that you’re interested in doing, like I said, I am starting a new group, the beginning end of end of March, beginning April. You can jump on my calendar, I’ve got some spots there. They’re going to be pretty limited over the next week, but they are there. If you go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, let’s talk we’ll we’ll get some clarity, you know, we’ll go into what it is that’s that you’re really struggling with kind of share with you how that can work.

And what we can do together. I will tell you that if you can’t find a spot and you just email Lauren, like, if you email support at Betsy Pake calm, then we can find a spot for you. So just know that if you see something on there and your time zones, not properly represented, I only have so much time on my calendar. But I would love to talk with you. I would love to see if we could do this work together. And you know, I’ve got about five spots left that I’m going to take for next month. So if you’re interested in one of those spots,

let’s talk.

Alright, y’all, you now have all the steps one through five with my twist on them. I know you can achieve whatever it is that you want. And you can live in the feeling of what it is that you want. You deserve it. And I think that is how you live a big life. All right, y’all. I’ll see you all next week.

Thanks so much for listening today. Just a reminder, we’ll see you on Mondays and Thursdays. Now if you enjoyed this show, I would love it if you shared it with your friends. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.