Today I share a conversation with Allan, a member of The Art of Living Big community. We had a great conversation sharing ideas about life, our favorite podcasts and any other random thoughts that came up in conversation! Thanks to Allan for joining me as a co-host on today show.
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Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everyone, welcome to the show today. So today I have on a guest who is a listener on the show.
And I was in the Facebook group and I had posted something on Instagram about how I think everybody has like things to share and thoughts to share with the world. And anyway, I ended up posting it in my facebook group, Alan ended up emailing me and I just felt like it would be a fun conversation, sort of like a co host for the day. So I kind of like I like the idea of CO hosts, you know, people bring new ideas and different things that they’re listening to or experiencing.
And so I hope that you enjoy this conversation. It is just simply a conversation about all things. Woo, and all things, brain science. And we should talk a lot we share a little bit about podcasts and thought leaders and just kind of we follow the path. So I hope that you enjoy come along with us. Hello, everyone. Welcome adventurers. So all right. So this is a little different. So I’ve got somebody on the phone, it’s the mystery person. So inside my facebook group, which if you’re not there, you can go there by going to the art of living, big calm. So inside that Facebook group, about a week ago, I think it was about a week ago, I said something about like, you know, we all have a story, right? We all have something to share.
And I was curious about other people’s stories. And, and really my intent of that post was I thought maybe people could send me like two minute things about what they wanted to share with the world. And then I would just post everybody’s two minute things right. So I do an episode with like what everybody had to share with the world and use the platform to share everybody’s message. I thought that would be cool. And and I oddly did not get very many responses. But I did get a response from Alan and Alan to Lee’s on the phone. Hey, Alan.
Anyway, carry on you.
I’m good. Okay, so I dragged him on the show a second, but you should come on. And let’s talk a little bit. And so I just thought it would be fun to have like a co host. So welcome. co host.
Thanks, guys. It’s so cool to be here. Actually. I’m honored Fisher.
Yeah. Like you’ve been listening to the show for a while. I feel like you’ve been in the Facebook group for a while, haven’t you?
I have. Yeah, I was trying to look back. It’s been at least a year. Yeah. I started getting into podcasts about two years ago. Mm. Last and then I found yours. I don’t recall how as I’m used to looking for answers, really. And then I actually one of the reasons I picked on yours was because he called The Art of Living bigger towns cool. But being a musician, I was in a band, we wrote a song called Big life. And it was about living a bigger life.
And to me at the time. Yeah. So that was one of the reason that this kind of caught my attention was the title. And then just by listening to your voice and your energy and what you’re talking about. It’s really I found it last year to looking for things that when I am I’m when you start to look for one thing often another little hears, right, so a lot of episodes. Yeah, yeah, so a lot of episodes at the time. And even Cynthia you were talking about was like, I did honestly feel and I’m not gonna claim this because amount of salty, but it felt like you were talking to me. And it’s like, something I needed to hear a little piece, you know, that are healing and move forward in my life. So that’s how I kind of started. So
that’s cool. You know, I do think that there’s power in sharing your story. And everybody has a story, right? And I think there’s power in that because we, I think, I don’t know if it’s social media, or if it’s I don’t even think it’s social media. I’m going to take that back. I think it’s just life. Like we present ourselves to people in a way that separates us like it inherently separates us. Because we only show like the good stuff. Like even before social media, right? we’d show up at work and we would be like, totally put together and you know what I mean? Like, ready to act professional. And it separates
because the truth is our stories are messy and, you know, full of ups and downs and we’re only presenting one part. So yeah, so I love that that you found. Yeah, sort of like a connection in that because I think everybody is sorry, we’re also similar, you know, but we we create the
For sure. And funny you said that wouldn’t I receive a message with my idea. I was listening to a podcast of yours. I don’t know if it was last week before we talked about when you were younger and your your daughter was really young and you’re struggling and she was in daycare and like money was an issue and a lot of struggles and, and it hit me because it very much reminded me of myself on my son Brady, who’s 21 now was a young boy and clarifying, so horrible.
And they came to me for like, cuz people see how you are now, but they may have not seen how you were 1015 years ago, right? And I thought, wow, like, you’re like, you seem like you’ve done so well. And I wouldn’t expect that in one aspect. But then again, I realized again, you don’t see people whole story like you talking about right. So you’re successful doing well, you don’t see the size of the right. Well up to that, you know.
Yeah, and you don’t see them until they’re successful. So then you think, well, that’s how it’s done. Right? I remember when my daughter was little. And I don’t think I’ve ever told this on the show. I don’t think I told it on that episode. But she was little I mean, you know, in that episode, I was talking about how exhausted and stressful I was a single mom, I was having to get up at like the crack of dawn, bring her to daycare before school, which was like, so freaking painful for me emotionally.
And I remember I went to get gas, I had dropped her off, and I had to get gas. Which I remember being like, Oh, my God, am I gonna have money for gas like I go to get gas? Yeah. And then I realized I had this fear that I was going to lock myself out of my car, like all the time I was going that I don’t want to lock myself out of the car. And I went in and got my GED, I got my gas pump my gas, and I don’t know, I went in to buy a bottle of water or something.
And then I came out and I was like, Oh my God, I’ve locked myself out of the car. And I was what am I going to do? Like I’m at the gas pump, like I went in. And I looked around to see if I’d brought my keys in, you know, and left them on the counter. Yeah. And I mean, I was like panicking. I’m going to be late for work, like, what am I going to do? And so I asked the guy, if I could call who I would call, we looked it up in the phone book, you know?
after probably like 10 minutes of going back and forth and trying to get somebody out. He was like, what’s in your hands. And I literally had my hands. But I was so focused on that I was going to lock myself out that I just assumed I did because the door was locked when I went to get in, you know, and I just I love that so much. And it’s such a like creating, talk about creating your reality, right, like, so anyway, but yeah, those were rough times. Yeah. So you you heard that and you’re like, everybody’s got like this story, but so many times we just see the highlight.
That’s true. It’s very true. And that seemed to resonate with me a bit cuz my son being when he was young, like, I mean, to be totally honest with you at the food bank to get sued, and I couldn’t afford to, you know, and I had to stand in line with a bunch of people. And it was worth feeling because part of me felt really guilty because my parents always took care of things and that kind of thing. Yeah. And, and the other aspect was grateful, because at least there was something for me. It was a really weird
It was at a time It felt like I am never going to get out of this. And that was like 2003 2002 goes a long time ago now. Yeah. And But yeah, I was, I have no idea how I’m going to I mean, I kind of want to even at that point, I really was into the personal development and wanted to help people, but I can barely take care of myself. How can I have my son? How can I take care of other people?
So it was pretty uh, the only things at that point be honestly, that kind of kept me going was my son Brady was just a young little tyke at that point and my guitar. My music was the only thing that gave me some sense of strength. I guess the wrestling like it was overwhelming, Kaylee so
right? Yeah, yeah. So tell us a little bit about your journey. Then what? What area of the country do you live in to start with? I live in? I live in Calgary. Calgary, Alberta.
He kind of in the middle? Yeah. Yeah, probably. I mean, it’s in Western Canada. I’m from Regina, Saskatchewan, which is, you know, not too far from here, I guess. But, but yeah, I’ve been listening to music forever. Guitar writing music.
I need to hear that big life.
I don’t I have a it’s an old version. I do have a website with some of my songs on it.
What it is that give everybody a website?
It’s just my name Alan. chuli.com. Okay, hello. I’m gonna link Yeah, yeah.
You know, so I’ve been playing music forever for a long time.
differ quite a few years on the road playing with some recording artists but nothing of major. You know, play You’re here, but it was still quite a cool experience. You know, and then in my 20s I got into it was when I first started getting into the personal development like this, Tony Robbins is my first. Like a lot of people I got first exposure to it. And it took me because I was I was probably 23 maybe when I first heard them and it took me till I was 48 till I got to a ventilated.
Yeah, it was it was awesome, but
it was actually you know what? Not to sound a little cliche and melodramatic but it was the start of my Yeah, yeah, I’m feeling I guess because at that point, that’d be July of 2018. In Chicago, I went to UW
Okay, I’m going to you pw in July this year. That’s so bizarre. If anybody listening and they’re going, they need to come tell me so we can meet up?
Yeah. Yeah, it is. It is very cool. I guess the thing with that was that I have been wanting to go forever. But before that, is when I started to be honest again to be I started dealing with anxiety. After my dad passed away, and I sing what it was, there’s a lot of reality of mortality, because my both parents are gone. And yeah. And it’s also nice to start noticing all these weird, probably more unhealthy side of things, even though I take care of myself and very health conscious, but it seemed like that seemed to be where my fear was right. And then. So unlike a Tony Robbins book six months into that much of lovcen not panic attacks quite but close enough. And I went to that, and had those kind of started like to unpeel everything and start to, you know, face on myself.
And it’s all like I went there, and then for four days, and everything changed. Yeah, kind of a slow, gradual process. But that kind of led to me getting into meditation into a lot of things, the podcast, you know, now a whole bunch of other things, just every little thing. I probably had the same experience. But things before that I saw, but didn’t really pay attention to all of a sudden, like, I was like, I have to get that book or try this. I have to go there.
And like Dr. Joe dispenza was another one that all of a sudden before I saw through his book, break a habit of being yourself. Mm hmm. It didn’t really kind of resonate. But then all of a sudden, I saw going I need to get that book. And that was a big change for me too. So
it is like interesting, like when you get to the point where you’re ready for stuff. I know, I actually bought the book break the habit of being yourself. I bought the audio version, right when it came out. Okay. And I was like, What is this guy? And I returned it
funny. Oh, yeah.
Because and I own the book now and I’ve read it but like, it took it. It is true. Like the teacher will come when you’re ready. Right? And I just wasn’t ready for the
Yes, very true. And I’ve heard that before and like I guess it comes down to you can understand it. But there’s difference between at least from how I look at it. There’s really understanding something and knowing something, right? And tell me like,
I want to know more about that understanding something, okay. Something,
I guess because I’m a pretty feely type of person, meaning you know, as far as I’m a musician, I guess and Pisces Aquarius, CUSP and other more sensitive but I find that one, I can be shown something or I’ll see something and I’ll notice it right. Like, okay, there’s the book, there’s, yeah, that makes sense. You know, when you’re ready to teach will appear. Then there’s just all of a sudden, they just like a knowing you’re like a feeling because I tend to in terms of I, for me, I have a gig when I feel like I’m on to something that’s meaningful to me and not me pretending. Yeah, I get goose bumps a lot.
Oh, if I’m really excited, they’re on my arms, right? Anywhere, I’ll start getting goose bumps going, Okay. And my belief is for me, it’s either my angels talking to me and saying, hey, while you’re in my past, or an inner knowing or both, whatever it is, I just feel like when it’s something that really resonates with me, either, you know, after faith, or something excites me that my body’s telling me Okay, that you’re in the right path. Yeah, listen to your mind. Follow your heart more than you know.
Yeah, I think that too. I think that too. Yeah, I like that a lot. When you think of like, understanding that’s more cognitive. It sounds like and when you think of knowing you’re talking about like intuition or knowing on a deeper level. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. It’s almost like a no question as opposed to like, Well, yeah, maybe Oh, God. Okay. Well, you know, because my parents who are my mum, actually the psychic per se, but he can steal things and she was open to this kind of stuff. My dad. I mean, he was an awesome man, but he would have he would just win by the stuff he led. Okay. So I, I’m sure sometimes my mind I would go, I really believe this, but what my dad, you know, or, you know, so But if I just know it, I’m not thinking of that. I’m just reacting to what I’m feeling as opposed to over You can do a lot of fun.
Yeah, yeah. No.
Yeah. So as you kind of started on this journey then. So tell me like, what, what it sort of looked like, like, what did your journey look like? So you started kind of going to Tony Robbins, and having this experience that was, and really, you know, I think the Tony Robbins experience is, it is so all encompassing, right, it includes so much physical stuff, right? Because he has you, if you if anybody is that’s listening, like if you’ve seen clips of it, or if you’ve been to Tony Robbins, you know what I’m talking about.
But he does a lot of like work he’ll, how he’ll play music, he’ll have you put your hands up in the air jump up and down. It is a state change that he creates constantly to get you into a hyper learning state. And so you feel it’s very emotional, right?
And you feel a lot of things because you’re doing that when your body moves in that way, like your brain starts to change. Right? So you went to that, and you felt like that was really impactful. And then kind of what happened next? Or what was the big learning in that? Was there any board learning?
or otherwise, I think what it was is that for the last seven, eight years, are doing something different where was really not emotionally attached in a good way. And I felt very, alone, in a sense, I guess I was in use because as a teacher be talking to people all the time and being more outgoing, you know. So when I went there, all of a sudden, I kind of forgot how outgoing I can be and because I’m dancing and screaming, yelling with total strangers, hugging people and being like, I don’t dance, like it’s not my specialty, right Bob dancer, not caring and then walking on fire. And I’m thinking mentally, there’s so much more to me than than just gave up. I still think of myself as a shy person. I’m not shy, sometimes I just have nothing to say, you know?
And yeah. And so it kind of opened up that part of it. But you know what, I think how I viewed myself was not the real me even though I’ve heard you say before by telling me like I can choose to be who I want to be. Right. Like you have parents who are at my I do have parents while they are still here in one form or another, but they were very play at faith kind of person personalities, which is fine.
But I mean, I think that’s why I wanted to I got longer hair tattoos played loud guitars, and I want it to be different. And I like to give like people who are different and stuff, right? Yeah. So I started opening up that and then I just started opening up stuff. You know, unconsciously if I kept a day for a long, long time in my mo was to say to afraid sorry, of computation. So I think I was running away from a lot of things I was afraid of or ashamed of. But as I’ve come to realize I can run away but it finds me eventually. Right.
And right. So I so really, I started, like I said, games, it got worse. But it was never like two point I couldn’t live just, it was uncomfortable and scary. So I started saying no, I want to figure out what’s going on. And then that led to I said, like Joe dispenza got into meditation a lot. And I just started to unearth my stuff, right? Yeah. And then face it as opposed to running away. I noticed with anxiety or third assume cheerful if I just sat there in this wavelength, this experience or not get emotionally involved. It’s heard away.
Ah, yeah. So when you just be with it? Yes, yes,
yeah. And then what it’s done is, I heard I said before, like this phrase, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. And it comes back to the knowing because I can understand that on the unconscious level, but when you know it, and what I realized is all this health stuff. I was feeling like being afraid of dying basically, is it It opened up so many more things. I know now that I would have never even been into, right. And it made me get my blood check to get paid for food sensitivities to now even healthier. Yeah, for my particular body, whatever. So it’s really been a gift to be honest with you.
So it’s really kind of set you on a journey. Right? And as you uncover uncovered more, yeah.
Because a lot Yeah, go ahead. No, you go closet, I was just gonna say last year was weird. It seems like I’m really starting to believe more in divine timing. And last year with work was quite slow. So a lot of time at home, pay this kind of think and work on myself.
And, and then as the end of this past year came and got really busy. So it allowed me money to invest in myself a bit, which is what my goal was this year was to, you know, last year is about healing myself and growing and my goal is to try and help you other you know, and because even at work, I’ll talk to people and I seem to be able to understand, you know, like what made wise My may feel the way they do you know badly or can help them with interest on top, whatever. But it has been quite a it’s allowed me again, like I said this year I want to invest in myself health wise. Yeah, all kinds of ways, right? Yeah, but but it’s, it’s going to give otherwise, a lot of stuff I wouldn’t even bother to
sell me on this journey. Have there been any books in particular that you’ve read that had a huge impact on you?
Uh, yeah, books and a few people. Well, the book I said the pilot, Dr. Joe dispenza. Cuz I saw about two years ago, like when you go if you use the Kindle apps, you can like sample books and stuff. Yeah. And it’s weird because I had that book on there. I can give you two chapters or something. Right. Yeah. But then last year, last year, I’d say June. I was. I mean, I’m a big fan of Motley Crue. So I followed in the key six Instagram page, you put a picture of the book, his hand and he said game changers. You know what? I forget that book?
Was it the soup becoming natural? Or the other one? No.
Yeah, it was that one. And then it went to the four week kind of process in the book a year long or four weeks. But yeah, but that’s why I was in there started and saving a bit of
Have you read the evolve your brain? I think that’s what the other one is called if I started to But yeah, I do have it. I kind of started but didn’t get as much into it yet. But
yeah, I suppose final I’ll read about a bit not and then come back when they’re ready. Or Oh, my
God, I do this all the time. I start books, and then I’m okay, I’m done. And I move on to another one. That is like one of the things that drives me nuts about myself. I would like, like, when I finish a book, it’s a celebration. I get bored or something. I don’t know, I have so many things I want to learn.
Me too. I think that for me, it’s like if I reading for you, man, I’m just I’m only Excuse me, I’m only half into it. I’m thinking No. I mean, I could read it. But I’m not going to get much out of it. I’ll come back when called me to feel like you know, and then.
And then I do so I mean, that. I’ve been doing a bit of Bob Proctor if you know who Bob. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah, doing the paradigm stuff. And then just a few people I’ve met, even calcium messages seem to have a lot of knowledge. And it seems to say something I need to hear time. Yeah. And I’ve just been really, I did do a little bit of, you know, accounting with a spiritual counselor, or just kind of a cool little bonus. Yeah, yeah. And so again, it was part of the journey through that now, I thought three months ago, I did it.
And I’ve been journaling every day ever since. And this adds to what I do to, you know, grow myself and deal with stuff. And I know, it’s weird, because I’ve had a few people who know me pretty well. And I see them I know, they look at me, and they say, Man, you seem so I’ve always been very patient and calm individual, but it just seemed different. Like, in a good way. Not like, yeah, so it felt an impact on me. But yeah, I know, we’ve known.
Yeah, and I feel like in the group, like you’ve shown up as like, seeming to me, it seems like you’re very thoughtful. Like you’re thinking through things and like have deep thoughts, which is why I thought it would be fun to have you on the show.
But it seems like they’re like deeper thoughts underneath there, you know, and so I could definitely tell that you’d been like on the journey, you know, learning as much as you could, oh, reading and all that. Tell me, although the art of living big is probably your favorite. What are some other right answer? That’s correct answer. What are some other podcasts that you really enjoy? Because I like listening. Yes, I have a lot of really like, Oh, I drink a lot too. I miss, my main focus was either the personal development or like the health side of things or that stuff like
as a lady named Ashley, what was called a line or a lot. Yeah, let’s see me
this. Right. Yeah, that was that sometimes? Yeah, a lot of this is weird, because there’s one to listen to Drew, could called a broken brain, or the broken brain podcast, and was with Mark Hyman and his podcast today was ironically enough about purpose, right? So I on, like, listen to that. And I was kind of ironic. And then he was talking about purpose and people finding that they have to have their purpose.
He says, I don’t even know my purposes, but he still does this amazing podcast and so it kinda has to go sometimes. finding your purpose doesn’t mean you actually know exactly hundred percent. What it is, you’re searching for. Something more right and some that resonates more with you. So here’s a lot and then just like, I think Dave Asprey is quite cool. It’s me. Yeah. All these
all his experiments.
Yeah, yeah, he’s totally got he’s kind of like a It might be sort of that to doctor from doc from back feature. Oh, yeah. We’re hairless?
Yeah. If anybody’s listening Dave Asprey. He’s the one that made the bulletproof coffee thing. Right? He owns that. What’s the name of his podcast? Is it just the Dave Asprey?
No, no, it’s actually bulletproof radio. I believe that.
yeah, yeah. So things like that is a whole bunch, but the ones that probably would be more Mark Hyman one house stuff. It’s more, for sure. I use yours quite often. Yes. No, but
I was just gonna say I like Mark Harmon. He has a really good Instagram, too, where he shares Yeah, important things, I think. Yeah, brain science and what
it is, yeah. He tends to go to because I saw him in Chicago with him and went off a boat there, which was like, Wow.
So have you have you looked into Wim Hof stuff?
Oh, yeah, actually, that’s one of the things I forgot to this now that I started doing his stuff.
About a year ago, if anybody?
Yeah, let’s kind of get I feel like we’re talking about a lot of things. But maybe if people don’t know what they are, I just want to make sure they know. So I want to look into it. So Wim Hof is a guy who is what they call him The Iceman. And he talks about like brain control. So you’re controlling your emotions to the point that you can go into like freezing cold water and stay there. And I’m like, your brain is fine, right? Because typically, people would be freaking out right hyperventilating, but he teaches a breathing technique. And then he has like weekend retreats, where he teaches you the breathing technique, and then you go, and you know what else? And then you go into ice water. Right? But on the goop lab, have you watched that yet
on Netflix? Oh, I’ve heard of it. No, I haven’t. No, I have not.
It’s it’s good, because it’s all this kind of stuff, you know, but they do all these different experiments. And they spend a weekend with Wim Hof. That’s one of the episodes. So yeah, if anyone’s interested, I believe.
I was just gonna say I hate the cold. Like, I hate the cold. It makes me super angry. To the point where I think I’m okay. Like, I think there’s an anchor to being really cold. When my mom died when I was young. The only thing I have I have, my husband and I have talked about it. And I’m like, that’s the only thing I can think. Because like, I get where when it gets cold. I get like I get I’m, I’m just so annoyed. Do you know what i do point? One. But I want to do the one off. Well, I live in Atlanta. And so I mean, it gets cold here. And I’m annoyed. Do you know what I mean? So imagine, when I when I grew up, and my mom died. I was in Vermont, and it was March. And so I think that I was you know, I was cool. I just remember standing outside waiting for everybody.
And being like, we’ve got to go because I got to figure out what’s happening with my mom. Like I knew she had been in an accident. And waiting outside and I remember my coat and looking down and seeing my coat was unzipped. I remember the coat it was like this really cool blue, light blue, dark blue, sort of like ombre thing. And, and I looked down I remember seeing that my coat was unzipped. But I didn’t care. I just wanted everybody to hurry up. So we could go and see what was going on with my mom because we had to. She was traveling, so we had to go to where she was. Right. And so I think that that must have anchored for me. That’s all I can think of because I hate it. So
I would assume that was a cold and with the anchor What happened to your mother, unfortunately, a lot of pain linked to the things that were around you at the time. Right?
Yeah, and not being in control. I mean, so like when it gets clear. I’m like, Oh my God, I hate the can’t stand this. Sure. And so I you know, as soon as I graduated from college, I moved from Vermont, but now I live in Atlanta, but even in Atlanta, like it gets, you know, if it gets it’ll get in the 30s. I mean, the 450s are enough to make me annoyed. It’s, it’s sort of odd. When we went to keywest. I go off on a tangent, but when we went to Cuba last year, it was like August, and it was so hot. Like my husband was like, I’ve never experienced hot like this before. It’s like being in Satan’s butt crack.
You know what I mean? It’s so hot. And I was like, and I was like, I love it. Like I loved it. Like I was like just sweating. I was like, give me a sweatshirt. So anyway, all of that. Oh, all of that to say I think that it’s a trigger and I probably could shift that using some NLP but I don’t know. It’s sort of my personality now. I like it.
Do you know much about Wim Hof story though? No. Well, yes.
Yeah, no, but tell me because it’s like his family died or his mom or his wife died or something right. Oh, it was I mean, the thing that caught my attention was, uh, he was, I think, I want to say it was the mid 90s, I think. And his wife had
some kind of breakdown. I hate saying actually mental health, like more like a brain health issue and was I don’t she was bipolar or whatever it was, she was on a standard, you know, kind of medication and treatment. And then he just said that one day she discovered kiss the kids, I think him and jumped off the roof of the building. Right? Oh, yeah. Yeah, sir. Yeah, to his pain and referencing an interview of a podcast, actually, he does, where he’s from, there’s lots of water around, he jumped into a river, there was like a thin layer of ice.
And we found, I think, some peace in the cold. And then we started. I guess what I mean, I’m not comparing my story is by any means. But just by something happening, it kind of pushes you in a direction to start learning things you may have not learned before, right?
Well, yeah, no growth happens if you’re not in some kind of uncomfortable or pain, right? Because otherwise, yeah,
yeah. Yeah. Oh, totally. Yeah. And I guess, I don’t know. Um, so I found his technique was another little tool for me that I still even to this day, I don’t know if there’s a cold shower thing. But when I’m meditating, I’ll do about three rounds of the press holding and that kind of stuff, plus a bunch of other things, but work on the breathing and that kind of thing. So, but so again, here’s another person that and then seeing the person I had no idea what he was, what his personality as well, was so quick, analog, good. Like, it’s not like a typical, and you’ve done stuff to side with your immune system and all that just like, and I think what I was gonna say is that, like, with what I was feeling my anxiety and stuff was because I kind of forgot that I have a choice.
Meaning that in terms of house, I think some people will feel that well either get cancer or you don’t. And I do know, sometimes unfortunate, bad things happen. But I can’t. I mean, there’s certain things that you have control over, you know, I do have control over each how I think, if I work older, I go into my grenzer. I don’t and, and that’s where I think I started getting for me fearful that I feel like I had no choice. It’s like, well, it’s gonna happen, or it’s not as opposed like, what am I on? Maybe I do have a choice here.
Right, right to learn thing, right? And with anything in life, whether it’s even going for goals, I mean, I’m not sure at what point you decided to, I don’t wanna call what you’re doing before he did the podcast, or even how long you been doing it for CRC. But I’m not sure what propelled you to go from doing what you’re doing to what you are now. But there’s something that you realize you want to make a different choice in your life. Right? Yeah, you can go to
episode number one and find out more. Okay. Okay. You got to go into the Wayback Machine.
Yeah. Okay, no, I will do that show. But I mean, yeah, that’s the thing is a choice. And with some people, I know that, like, I take my house very seriously. And I feel some people who I grew up with, I thought because I’m afraid of being old. I just want to grow young. Right, I saw my dad before he passed away who was so frail and felt so bad for him. Right. And he could have been, you know, both choices he made? And sure, yeah, the harder for him.
Right. And so I just want to get people hopefully, like, again, I’m not sure rentpath going, I know that it’s changing, and I want to do things good. It’s just like, I just want to give myself more choices. But make people realize that you do have a choice, even if it’s difficult at times, obviously, what’s typical for you when your daughter was young, and you were trying to you know, get your life together. But you haven’t choice you to say, Well, this is the best I’m gonna get. Or I can say, you know, even though it seems a logical maybe, but I want to do this. And yeah, so
I guess. Yeah. So,
yeah. And you know, one of the things you were saying, well, we were talking earlier sort of about purpose, right, we touched on that. And now as you’re talking, you know, I think our purpose, like I know what my like goal is like what I would like to have in my future. But I don’t know that that’s my purpose. I think my purpose right now is to grow in this moment. So if somebody says to me, like, what I don’t know what my purpose is, well, it’s to grow through whatever you’re in. Like, my purpose is constantly evolving, as I am constantly evolving. But my purpose is always growth, right? So how can I grow?
Whatever if I feel stuck? Or if I’m having a horrible experience? Or I’m having a great experience? Like, how can I grow through this? And, you know, I know for me, like, if it’s something crappy happening, which like everyone else listening, like I’ve had my share of crappy, so I think like, what can I grow? What can be good about this? Like, how can I use this to help me and then when something’s good is happening, I think, how can I bring other people into this? Right, so like, how can other people join me in the good? Yeah.
Yeah, no, I agree. For sure. I mean, I’m not sure. If I was to describe my purpose. I mean, I know the areas I’m drawn to so No, it’s where it is kind of sort of. But in terms of labeling it, I don’t know if I really want to do that necessarily, because it is kind of a moving. Yeah, I think I think the theme is all very similar. But I mean, I mean, sounds kind of corny when I say this, but I think one of my purposes or at least, ambitions or desires is to make people smile.
And it sounds kind of corny, but yeah, I’m with people I like to make what even when I’m with other people, I like to make them laugh, even if it’s at my own expense, you know, or if they’re feeling down, help them or if it’s their house stuff. So basic level, a smile, you know, when you really just, it’s a sincere one, it feels good, because you’re being sure resting to who you are. And, you know, you know, corny or not, as I was, you know, yeller if they weren’t happy, or when they’re smiling. You know, like, if you’re laughing in a movie, or a sitcom or something funny. Well, like your life is good at that moment. Right?
Right, right. Sure. Yeah. Well, it’s when you’re
really you’re really in the moment. Right. And so yeah, thank you.
I suppose that’s true. I haven’t read the book. I have it but the power of now. Oh, yeah. I know. The idea of it obviously is and I was told before in terms of anxiety actually has a promise there’s you’re worried about the future or you’re locked in the past, but you’re not right here right now. And one thing they would say is just focus on something right now. Don’t worry about what’s gonna happen five minutes from now or what happened when your attend just right right now, and it kind of calms your nervous system back down. Just focus on one thing and a lot of truth. I haven’t really read the book, but yeah, yeah. I should probably get to.
I know. I have like a goal list. But that one’s a good one.
Yeah. Yeah. Awesome.
This was so
good to have you on. Thank you for coming in just chit chat. And it was kind of fun having a co host and like just talking about all the things as it came up. So this was really fun. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here, Alan.
I really appreciate being on here. And it’s so cool that you got me I expected and
thank you so much. Yeah, so
fun. All right.
We’ll see you all next time.
Thanks so much for listening today. Just a reminder, we’ll see you on Mondays and Thursdays. Now, if you enjoyed this show, I would love it if you shared it with your friends. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.