215: Visioning for less resistance - Betsy Pake

215: Visioning for less resistance


Today’s episode I talk about visioning.

I shared these resources:




Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your


This podcast is designed to help you think

differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers, welcome to today’s show. So I’m excited to be here, I want to tell you, well, I’ve got some stories, I got some stories

that I think might be helpful to you, as

you sort of look forward as to what’s next. I know, you know, for me, 2020, and probably for you, too, has been like, I mean, could I have even jumped up everything that’s happening in 2020, like, Not a chance. And so all of the goals and the dreams and the visions and things that I had for the year, kind of, you know, disintegrated. And I talked about that in an earlier episode about kind of reimagining 2020 and doing a reboot for 2020. But I want to tell you a little story about something that happened to me this past week, and kind of how it shifted things for me and what I’m thinking now. Now, before I go any further, I just want to let you know that I do have a free training on my website. So if you are interested in learning a little bit more about your subconscious and about how to live your life from a place of freedom and possibility, and really understanding your subconscious. So there are five shifts that I share on that free training, you can just go right to my website, Betsy Pake calm, and it is right there on the top of the page. So, alright, so I’m going to ask you some questions. And I just want you to think about this as I ask and see what comes up for you and see how you feel, as I’m saying these things. So as you think about a vision, and your vision for the future, and maybe it’s your vision for 2020. Maybe it’s your vision for the next year, the next five years, the next 10 years? Are you avoiding creating a vision? Because you’re afraid you’re going to fail? Are you avoiding creating a vision? Because you’re afraid that the vision you’d have is too much? Or too big? Or maybe because you think it seems outlandish? Nobody in your family has ever done anything like that? Maybe you think I have an idea. I know deep down what my vision would be. But I could probably just have a piece of that not the whole thing, not the whole vision.

Let me ask you, do you create a vision

at all? And if you do, do you just do it on what seems probable?

Like what seems like the next great step within

reach? like the idea of well, this is what

everyone else around me does?

Or my family said I would do?

Are you limiting yourself?

Even before you begin? You know,

culturally, I think we’re told to limit ourselves. Right, we’re brought up to believe that certain things are available to us. And certain things aren’t, you know, we, we we look at other people. And we’re like, well, that must be nice, right? That they can have that or they can do that. Yeah, but that’s them, you know, and then we come up with a lot of reasons why, you know, well, they had, they lived in that really good neighborhood. And they had they went to that really good school. And I’m not saying those things don’t have an impact.

But I’m wondering if that

is limiting what you’re even thinking you can do.


I think we’re brought up to believe that certain things are available to us and certain things are not. And so we get used to creating a vision, from what’s around us from what’s available to us in the present. So we get used to creating this vision based on things that we know other people around us have done. But what if you’re around people that aren’t doing what you even want to do? Or you’re surrounded with people that

maybe think totally different?

What if there is something for you that you know, and you know, right now you’re listening.

And you can feel it inside? You

don’t know what it is, but you know, there’s something so much bigger. So I want to talk today about creating a vision because you can’t get there unless you have a vision and a clear, compelling vision. So a key to creating a clear, compelling vision. One that can carry you over really hard times is to make it just outside of the ordinary.

And to make it

so that that becomes believable to you.

I’m gonna explain what I mean.

And our vision does not have to be perfect. It can change, you can decide today at something and you can change it next week or tomorrow or in an hour,

it can more.

And you can just change your mind altogether. You can say, you know what I thought I wanted to do that. And I did then, but now I’ve grown and now I’m a different person. And now I want to do this. So let’s talk just a little bit about making it just outside of the ordinary. I believe that to have something really compelling. It has to feel exciting. It has to feel like Wow, that’s really cool. If I have seen everybody do everything around me, then maybe that doesn’t seem so exciting. Maybe that seems really ordinary. And I think it’s really hard to get ourselves really worked up. really worked up into a lather about something that just seems ordinary.

So how could you push it?

So if you’ve already got an idea of what a vision would be for you, let me just ask you, what would lay right behind that?

Just beyond that?

How could you make that even bigger and bolder?

You know, my whole thing here is like we got to live big. And I believe that we constantly push ourselves to play small, even if we’re not trying to I know I do that. And so I’m starting to notice where am I putting the governors on things. When I say governor, you know, sometimes I feel like I’m old when I say governor, so big trucks, you know, sometimes they’ll have the smack trucks will have a governor so they’re not allowed to go over a certain speed, right, they’ll get to that certain height. And then the the truck itself is designed to slow them down.


Or like when you go bowling and you’re a kid or you’re me and can’t bowl and you put up the bumpers on the side, that way your ball always stays in the middle. But it’s never really very exciting. There’s never like that thrill. Because everything is really contained and sort of slow, and really ordinary. And I think the adventure the fun comes in the ups and the downs. The excitement, you know, comes from like bowling a strike. And then the next time it goes in the gutter and you’re like, Oh, I know I can do better. And it’s the excitement of that. Now I say all that like I’m a big bowler and I’ve only bowled a couple times I get really bad bowlers. But do you know what I’m talking about? Where you get a cramp in your butt from that muscle, because I throw the wall I hurled the ball, I’m terrible. But I do know the excitement of that, right? I’ve actually gotten a strike before it, it was so thrilling and fun. I felt like I could be a Olympic bowling athlete. And, and then it goes in the gutter and you’re like, ah, but having a vision that’s compelling. I felt like I could do it again. I could be like

a what if I’m a


bowler, right? It made it like so fun to try again. So and I have a crazy video of me bowling because I do some weird thing. And I was videotaped once. And so I’m gonna

try to

find that and put that in the show notes. But a key here is to find a vision that feels so exciting, that when you go in the gutter, you’re still compelled to keep going, you’re still compelled to try it again and see if you can hit that strike, see if you can do great. Now if your goal is to always just like get the ball down ball down the alley, or you know or not have to heave it through your legs like that might just feel kind of boring. So get something that feels compelling. Now your vision does not have to be perfect. So it can change. But there are reasons why

you need to have a vision.

And neville goddard says that imagination is a spiritual sensation. Using our imagination gets us through hard times. It helps make us grow. It makes life more interesting. It’s fun to push the boundaries of what you thought was possible and do things you never thought you could do. So let’s talk for just a minute about the difference between a vision and a goal because I really am talking today about a vision.

So goals

are experiences and accomplishments that you’re working towards.

A vision is the bigger picture

of vision is defining

who you are, like what your identity is. It’s what you want your legacy to be. And it’s how you want to show up in the world.

So having a vision

helps you define your goals, right? You have something to compare to and evaluate against so that you can move forward towards the vision.

Having an overarching vision isn’t about knowing how I’m going to do this thing, or the steps that I need to get to do it having a vision is who you become.

So for example,

you want to have freedom,

financial independence, maybe a life of travel. I hear that one a lot. So you probably don’t want to start a brick and mortar business,

right, where you have to be in one place all the time.

So if you have the vision for what it is,

okay, I want to have

freedom, financial independence, a life of travel, and then I have to make decisions, how am I going to have that financial independence? Well, now you have something to compare to. And you’re like, you know, I’ve got this opportunity for brick and mortar business, but doesn’t match my vision of where I’m really going. So it might tick the box for freedom,

maybe even independence, but

not in the way that you’re really looking for. So it’s really important to be able to get

clear on this

so that you can make

decisions about things moving forward. So having a vision becomes the reason that you’re doing things it becomes the reason that you have goals that comes becomes the reason that you have structure and that you’re doing things in the way that you are, you know,

you know, we’re all on our

journey here. And I am no different. And you’ve probably heard me talk incessantly if you’ve been here for any amount of time about the beach. And, you know, I haven’t talked about it as much, I don’t think recently. But it’s something that I have been evaluating, because I have felt like I can’t really make that a vision or a focus, because they don’t know what beach to go to. And you may have heard me talk about that. I was very indecisive. I couldn’t make a decision. And I couldn’t make a decision, because I was not clear. And I was sort of okay with it not being clear. And I’ve talked about it. And the episode that I did with my husband made me start to think about it even more, you know, like, Is it something we could do? Like, that’s possible, but I don’t even know, I wouldn’t even if somebody gave me a million dollars and said, Go do it. What would I do? And I actually sat with that question. If somebody just handed me money, and said, Go decide where do you want to go? And I had to decide

right off,

I immediately went to I would go to QoS. And I would have a condo in Athens, Georgia, so we could go to the football games. But as soon as I had that I recoiled from it. QoS seems too big. To me. keywest seems like I mean, the houses there are really expensive, the one I would want, right? And it’s far away. And it’s hard to get there. And, you know, I posted before on Instagram last summer when I was in Key West, and people. people commented and and posted their doubts. You know, I don’t even know that they realized they were doing it. But they were like, Ooh, it’s really hard to get out of town when there’s a hurricane, right, all of these things. And I, although I was aware, that’s what was happening. I didn’t realize that I had internalized a little bit of that. And so I really spent some time. And it was last Friday, I spent some time and actually just sat with all of this.

And I was like, What do I really want? And is

that really what I want? And why does that feel so outlandish? Why does that feel so like too big, like I could go to Daytona, but I probably couldn’t go to Key West. That’s too cool.

And so I sat with that,

and got some clarity. And I took a breath work class that afternoon. With revelation breath work, they are running free breathwork classes. And if you have not ever done this, it was really profound. It’s breathing, right? We all know how to breathe, but it is conscious breathing, I would say and the classes are a little over an hour and you breathe through the whole thing. And there’s a specific way they have you breathe, and it’s it makes you feel very euphoric. You know, um, you know, I described it to some friends, it’s like, you’re on drugs, you know. But I was able to, it was like a really heightened meditation for me. And in that time period, towards the end, I started having these visions. And I was having a super clear vision of myself in Key West. Now that was in my brain because I had been thinking about it right before and earlier in the day spent some time on that.

But all of a sudden, I could see myself.

I could see where I was, I could see what was happening. In my vision. Somebody asked me how did you do it? And I told them, and it was different than what I had expected. So I was having this really kind of interactive experience with this vision.

Now, it wasn’t

how to plan it wasn’t like, Oh, I see myself hustling and doing this that it wasn’t I was standing in my pool in Key West and I knew exactly where I was and I could look around and I could see everything. And so this week, there have been some hard times. You know, there’s been hard times in my business hard times as I’m thinking through things. And I was so good rifle for those hard times in a different way than I have been before, because I knew that it was training,

I knew that it was training to get to that vision.

And that vision was so clear and like so I could feel it. You know, I could, I could hear the water behind me. Like I could hear like a little waterfall. I could feel my arm was up against like a stone

background, you know what I mean? I could feel it.

I could sense the sensation of the water around me as I stood in the pool, I could feel my body in the pool, I could see stuff all around me, I could hear the sounds like I could see this person asking me stuff like I knew

I, here’s the here’s the difference. I was different. In that moment. I wasn’t the version of me that was here. Before that. There was it was a different version of me. And it became so clear that when hard things happened, I didn’t even care. Because I was like, Oh, this hard thing. Cool. It’s training for that. I don’t know how I get to that. But I know that’s coming. Because I have the vision. And I believe it is done. It is done. When you get a vision like that it is done. All it is is every day I got to go, what can I do to get there quicker? What can I do to bring that to help the universe bring that to me, it’s already done. It’s looking for me. So getting that vision can help you when things get hard. When things get a struggle. I wonder if two months ago, what has happened over the last eight days in my business, and it’s nothing bad. But it just, you know, difficulties with things, everybody has struggles, challenges to overcome, but they didn’t bother me. I just was like, we’ll figure out another way, I’m supposed to figure out a different way to get Facebook to run my ad or you know, whatever it was I was working on. And so I want you to get a vision so that you can

move through hard things.

And just know that they are lessons and training to get to that vision and feel so secure in that vision that

you know that it’s coming.

So you could do what I did and take one of those breathwork classes, you could meditate, you could sit with it, you could ask yourself these questions. So the things that you should think about with your vision is how do I really want to feel?

What do I want to be experiencing?

Who is

this person? And how does she see the world? What’s


You know, I noticed

there were things that she

that version of me that was standing in that pool. When I was her,

there were things that were missing

that I have in my experience every day. So there’s a feeling in my body that I have that just seems normal to me, and it was missing when I was there. Does that make sense? And so when I came out of that, I was like, What is that emotion that’s normally in my body? And how do I move that? How do I create energy around that? How do I shift that out of my body? And so start to notice, like, what is missing? Not just like, What’s there? What am I feeling? What am I hearing? But what’s missing? that normally is there, right? And started thinking like, what’s the legacy that you want to have? What’s the impact that you want to have on the world? And what do you think you’re capable of? And can you go right beyond that, and try to make that normal?

And then go beyond that?

Right? When the time comes to make that normal?

I asked myself this question, what do I want people to say? When I die? I know that that is such a weird question. morbid question, but what do I want them to say? Or think? Or feel about me?

Right? And so when I could get clear on that, and have that

vision, so you know, creating all of those the answers to those questions that by the time I got into the breathwork class, or a meditation, however you want to do that.

All of those things were clear,

and the vision could come forward to me.

So go deep, ask yourself like,

why am I here?

Why Are any of us here? Get clear on what the meaning of all of that is to you? And how you want to experience that, you know, and I’ve said this a million times, but I believe truly, that we are all we are all pieces of source, right? So source energy, we come down as source to experience different things. You know, I want to experience the beach at that level. There are some people that want to experience the mountains at that level. There are some people that want to be cowboys. There are some people that want to be NASCAR drivers, like we all have. I don’t want to do those things. I wouldn’t be opposed to the mountain part but like the NASCAR driver, that’s not really my thing. I’d be scared. So it’s not my how I want to experience this, but

I meant

I if I am part of source, and that is my desire than I am meant to experience that source came down through me to experience that. And if you’ve

been shoving away your desires,

if you’ve been pushing away those things, you know, desire means from the Father.

It comes from something else

through me and I am supposed to experience it. I’ve come here to experience that. And as silly as that sounds, because you’re like, really, Betsy, you came here to stand in a pool

in Key West?


I did, to experience that,

to experience all the things,

right probably to experience the journey to get there, the elation when I do get there. So what ever you are supposed to experience is what’s coming through you. And if you can create a vision, it will carry you through the hard things, so that you get there with a whole lot more ease, and a whole lot more joy. You know, Joseph Campbell, who wrote the power of myth, he said, just share life cannot be said to have a purpose. Because look at all the different purposes it has all over the place. But each incarnation you might say, has a potential reality. And the mission of life is to live that potential reality. How do you do it? My answer is follow your bliss. There is something inside you that knows when you’re in the center that knows when you’re on the beam or off the beam. And if you get off the beam to earn money, you’ve lost your life. And if you stay in the center, and don’t get any money, you will have your bliss. I love this. And I don’t think it means that you don’t have to make money. I think it’s a practical thing for the world. But it means instead of setting up the goal, but if we set up the vision, because then I will be happy doing whatever to get to that place. And I will have joy in that moment. You know, this past week for me could have been sort of dramatic. Could have been frustrating. I could have had all of those things. But I was in my bliss, because I was like, Oh, I have this vision. I know that’s where I’m going. And so I’m happily here right now experiencing what I am. And it released the resistance. And that’s really what I want you to do is just release the resistance to right now.

Because I can’t

live in the future. I can’t live in the goal. I can’t live in the vision, I can’t do any of that I can only live in right now. But if I release the resistance to right now, then I’ve lost my suffering.

My suffering comes from

that resistance to now. So get a picture, feel it, hear it, taste it, become it. Notice who you are in it. Notice what’s missing, notice what’s present. Notice what’s compelling, you

can use suspend

disbelief long enough to believe it for just a minute. Notice how your body changes, notice what’s gained. And now ask yourself what do I need to do to hold on to that feeling. And for me, it is to hold on to the vision to know that it is done. And that I think is how you live a big life. Thanks so much for listening you and I will see you next week. If you listen to today’s show and you feel the intention to get help and get coaching and get someone to help

you uplevel in this way, and you want to

talk with me please jump on my calendar. I am taking new coaching clients right now. You can go to Betsy pake.com backslash Let’s talk for my calendar and I’ll be excited to get to talk with you. See you soon.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.