This week I talk about what you need to have a big goal and protect it so it can manifest.
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art of living big transcript episode
Welcome to the Art of Living Big Podcast. My name is Betsy Pake and I am an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.
Hello, Fellow Adventurers!
Welcome to today’s show. I am happy to be here today and to turn on the mic and, like, let’s just talk and see what happens. I, this week have created this really big crazy goal that I’m not gonna share but I am going to explain in hopes that maybe you are inspired to create a big crazy, lofty, goal too.
So, 2020 has not been what we signed up for, right? Nothing is the way we
thought is was going to be. I know for me, I was supposed to go to LA again this
week and my intuition told me probably, like, a week and a half ago, to not go. I
just felt like things were starting to heat back up with the Corona virus and I just
felt like it was a bad time right now for me personally and for my business to go
and sure enough this morning I got an email that the event was actually
cancelled. And so, you know, we are seeing all these things that we were
looking forward to shifting and changing and having to make decisions we didn’t
want to make and having things that are important to us being cancelled. I think
for a lot of us we slowed down and that felt sort of good at first and now we are
at the point where we want some stability. We want to know what’s coming.
And that’s just a primal need, you know, to be able to have that level of stability and to feel surefooted and I think what this is showing a lot of people is that the only place that can really come is from inside.
You know anytime we are out on the wheel, if you can think of, like, a wheel with spokes and there is the hub right in the middle, right in the center. You know the more you can live in the hub the less you feel you are being tossed around and about to fly off the edge. And really coming back to that center, coming back to yourself, is where you are going to be able to find this stability, this certainty and be able to create something new. There is still time for you to expand and grow and have really great experiences this year even if your plans got cancelled or changed or you can’t go out and do the things you wanted to do. Because you can have some new experiences and you can create some new things right from where you are. I mean technology is in the way that it is, you know, that things that we couldn’t do twenty years ago, 5 years ago, can happen today.
I had signed up for a Tony Robbins event last year. I had signed up to go to Chicago this year in July, this July, and you know that got cancelled, I think, months ago. But he is doing this live version online so that those of us that had the tickets can actually experience it and use the live ticket next year. But we don’t have to wait. We don’t have to wait. He is creating this online experience so that we can spend, you know, three or four days, whatever it is, with him and go through that whole experience of UPW in a different way. So things can still happen. We can still expand and grow and change.
So, back to what I wanted to share was really, I got a really amazing, incredible idea, something that I wanted to create this year and it wasn’t about the end goal as much as it was I want to go through the journey to do that. I know that there’s going to be ups and downs, great amazing up and really awful downs. I know that’s coming because the goal is that big. But I know that that is what’s going to bring life back into my journey for the next 6 months. And so as we’re talking here today be thinking what could be something that’s really grand. What could be something that if I told people they would be, like, “That’s impossible. Like, that can’t happen.” Right? And then we are not going to tell them but we are going to get that goal. You know, I had written on Instagram, if you follow me on Instagram. I had written about something that Martha Graham had once said to the choreographer Agnes de Mille. I am not sure if I shared this on the show. Who knows, maybe it was like last week I even shared it. But I love this so much and I want to share it again. It says:
“There is vitality, a life force, that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all time this expression is unique and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is or how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly and to keep the channel open.”
I read this almost everyday. What is it that’s trying to be created through you that you keep blocking because you are comparing yourself or thinking that couldn’t really happen? And if you don’t do it, it will never exist through any other medium in the way that you have done because it is unique to you. This expression is trying to manifest itself through you. You know, every morning I have a routine where I sit in front of my alter and there are certain things that I do in that time. If you are part of the Alchemy Collective, my monthly membership, there’s a video this month introducing you to my alter and sort of what that entails for me. You can get on the wait list for the Alchemy Collective if you would like. It is alchemycollective.io or you can just go to my website and you’ll see a link for it there. But sitting there in front of my alter I ask, I ask Source,
because I believe that we are components of Source energy that have come down to manifest and experience a unique expression. So, I think, like Source energy says, “I want to experience this thing and this thing and this thing and this thing in physical form.” And it sends us down to have that experience. And we know what that experience is by what we desire, right? That’s how come we all desire different things in different ways. So, Source is sending us in order to, we are part of this Source energy, wants to have this experience through us but we block it because we go, No that can’t, that seems big. That’s probably not, that probably couldn’t happen. You know? Oh, only six months, gosh, you’ll never be able to do that in 6 months. Right? Or I can’t do it because somebody is already doing that. I’m too old. That’s a good one. I am to old to do that. It’s past my time. Uh! I should have done it long ago. Oh well. NOOO!!!! Like, if you’ve still got the desire it’s here for you . You are meant to do it.
All right, so lets talk a little bit about some of these goals and some things that
might be holding you back from moving forward. Now, you have heard me say
before there’s nothing in the way. There is nothing in the way because we are
pieces of the infinite. So there’s nothing in the way except for what we have
determined is in the way. And what did we determine is what our physical
bodies, our physical minds, determined all in our subconscious from all of the
experiences that we’ve had, the things we have been shown, the lessons we
have learned and so the subconscious will always manifest the dominate of two
ideals. So, if I really, really want to, I don’t know what. Let’s think of something
good we can talk about because I am not going to tell you my big thing until
after it is over. And it is so big that I am doing, I am doing multiple times a week
recordings about it so that in January I can share with you the whole journey.
Ok, so let’s think about it. Let’s say I want to create an incredible business. Let’s say I want to open a salon. So, the subconscious is going to manifest the dominate of my thoughts about opening a salon. How successful can I really be? What’s the area like? What do I think about what the area is like? What do I think about my skills? What do I think about owning a business? What do I think about women owning a business? What do I?… Do you see all the different beliefs and patterns that could be lodged in the manifestation process of this one goal? There is nothing in the way. We are infinite pieces of infinity. The only thing in the way are all of those beliefs and those patterns. Are those supporting the big goal that you have, to build this incredible, whatever incredible would mean for you, for this salon, right? The only thing that is in the way is what you think, all of those beliefs stacked up, stacked up, stacked up. And so your subconscious is what holds those beliefs and so it is going to manifest the dominate of those things. You will become magnetic to what is the underlying thought there. The flow of energy will be what is in your subconscious mind.
So this is why when people come to me and they are struggling and they are stuck and they don’t know what to do next, most the time they don’t know what
steps to take next because they have tried other things and it didn’t work and they didn’t know why. So now they have a fear of taking steps forward. But if they understood the reason why the other things didn’t work or the reason why situations didn’t turn out how they wanted, or they didn’t have the relationship that they wanted or the job that they wanted or you know, the finances that they wanted, if they understood that that was because of what they thought about it subconsciously from those patterns and those behaviors and those, that structure that was built from when they were very, very young. They inherited it, a lot of this, from family members and people that they looked up to. It’s not even something they’ve made a conscious choice about. But it is dictating the flow of energy and so what do you want to be magnetic to you need to make sure the patterns underlying that, support the goal that you’re after.
So, to get clear as you start, I want you to come up with some crazy big goal,
something that if you told anybody they would be like “No way, that’s just
crazy.” Maybe it feels a little crazy to you but there is a part of you that thinks,
I think that could happen. I want you to ask yourself where are you right now in comparison to that goal? Because what happens is we have this goal but we aren’t clear on where we are beginning. If you can get really clear on where you are starting that’s going to help you to see and find the road to get where you are going. So, Where am I right now? It might be, What internal resources do I have right now in comparison to what I need to get where I’m going? What are the physical things I have in place compared to what physical things that I would need to have in place to get where I am going? What is the support mechanisms that I have in place compared to the support mechanisms I need to get where I am going? Do you see what I mean? You need to look at all these different areas and start to identify what those beliefs could really be. Now you have clear coordinates. This doesn’t have to be like a three hour operation. This can just be you going, This is what I want, this is where I am right now and these are the things I think I have that could help me. These are the things I could carry forward. These are the things I think I am missing. You will start to identify what the holes are. I’ll tell you what, this process can be so much easier with somebody else that can walk you through it. So, get a friend or a coach or somebody that can help you sort of lay this out. If you have a big goal, if you’ve got a big goal you need a coach. I always have a coach. I’m an incredible coach and there are lots of other incredible coaches out there. So find somebody that aligns with you and what you believe and who you are. You’ll know. Use your intuition and get some help on this.
Ok, so now you’ve got the coordinates. This is where I am. This is where I want to go. Right? So now one of the biggest things that I want to tell you especially if it is a big, huge, hairy, audacious, goal, is to protect it. And by protect it I
mean don’t share it with everybody. Sometime you’ll hear people say like,
“Share your goals.” You know, “Share your goals.” But if it is the goal that lights you up and would make other people go “What?” Then don’t tell. Keep it a secret. You know Sara Blakely? She invented Spanx. Which is, I mean, she is a billionaire now, right? She invented Spanks while she worked selling copiers. She invented it, got the patent, started trying to market it, all from her apartment and did not tell anybody that she was, she didn’t even quit her job until she was on Oprah. It was one of Oprah’s favorite things and then she quit her job selling fax machines. She just kept it to herself because she was protecting her dream. Now, people knew by the time, you know, it was getting in stores and she was getting on Oprah. But you’ve gotta protect your dream with boundaries. You know this one big dream I have, its like a flower, right? If I had a delicate flower on my desk I wouldn’t put it out on the front yard. I wouldn’t let my dog sniff in it. I wouldn’t carry it in my purse when I went to the post office. You need to create some boundaries around who you let in and this is why, because people will reflect their own doubts of themselves onto you and your dreams and your goals and you need an iron clad mindset. You need to be really so focused and keyed in on the abundance and the fact that you are a piece of Source energy that can create anything. And so, when we can surround ourselves with people who believe in us we can go farther. When we surround ourselves with people who don’t believe in us or make fun of us or act like we can’t do the thing that we want to do, it breaks through that psychological, that subconscious barrier where you will always manifest the dominate of the two thoughts you have. And so if you are constantly getting fed, “That is way huge! You’re never going to be able to do that. Oh my God, you wish!” It might not even be that overt. Maybe it will be like “WOW, how are you going to do that?” Or maybe it will just be a look or maybe it will be you will tell somebody and you can just see it in their face or rolling of their eyes. You’ve got to protect yourself and protect your dream from that. So remove anything you need to remove. You know non supportive people, critical people, jealous people, negative influences, tv or news or something that tells you that it can’t be done. If you need to change who you are following on Instagram, if you just need to mute some people or if you need to upgrade and surround yourself with other people that are doing great things. Right? If you need to avoid emotionally charged conversations just while you are working on this dream and this goal, then do it. You don’t need to have the approval of anybody that you love to be able to move forward with your dreams and to have them come true. So, you don’t need to try to convince anybody else. You don’t have to try to make people understand that typically steal your energy, the energy you probably need to be able to accomplish the thing. So treat that dream like a flower like a treasure. If someone works against you then just deny them you. Just back off. Retreat. Surround yourself with other things. Be smart. Your desire, whatever it is what ever you’ve decided it needs discipline.
So think about, the second thing is, what takes away from your dream. You
know one of the things for me that I know is if I get into social media I can get
really lost in social media. For long time I talked about how I didn’t watch tv. “I
don”t watch tv. I don’t watch tv.” Quarantine changed that for me a little bit. I
have found the joy of Netflix. But I also am doing it intentionally. I’m trying to
notice when I get caught up because I do because I am human. So I try to be
aware of when I am being sucked, when my time is being sucked because I’m
paying to much attention to social media or tv or you know, news or whatever it
is or other people. So my desire requires a certain level of discipline. So ask
yourself what takes way from your dream? How can you clog the drain? If the
drain is something that’s taking you away from your dream the drain might be
social media, the drain might be people. Whatever that is, you gotta clog the
drain. Then one of the last things I want to mention is, you need when you have
a big huge goal that you really want to go for, you need to control chaos in all
the areas of your life because this is going to take intense focus. It’s going to
take intense desire and if you’ve got chaos, if you’ve got unfinished business or
disorder. You’ve got relationships where something needs to be said. You’ve got
a really messy purse. Your office is a train wreck. You haven’t cleaned out your
drawers in three years. You’ve got a closet with clothes all over the floor. Your
kitchen is in a mess. Every time you put in a pot or pan everything falls down.
Clear out the chaos. It may seem like unrelated but it is all related and it’s all
how your brain is being organized. I said to my husband two nights ago,
probably, I am going to go through the kitchen and clean out, like organize stuff.
There is to much stuff that I have just shoved in. Does that impact my dreams
and the goals I do upstairs in my home office? Absolutely, absolutely it does.
So look for those things, right? Look for where you are always late. Are you always late for appointments? Are you not showing up for things? What about your car? I use to work with a woman who was the sweetest little lady. I mean this was like 20 years ago. I remember one day, I walked outside and I saw her car. My car was parked next to her car and I looked in. There was so much stuff. Like the whole back seat was covered with stuff. The front seat was covered. There was fast food containers. So, look at your space, your wallet, your desk, your closet. What else do you need to eliminate? Time on the phone, maybe? Social media I already mentioned. Negative thoughts? Are those showing up in a bigger way? Alcohol? Is it helping you or is it hurting you? Could it be neutral if you just had less? Do you need to you eliminate it all together? What foods are you eating? How are you showing up? Are you moving everyday? Are you putting a lot of pressure on yourself to workout all the time? Do you see how these patterns are being created that are pushing you in one direction or another? They are creating the flow of energy in one direction or another.
One of the things, when I sit at my alter everyday, I ask Show me. Show me what I need to see so that I can unblock. Show me what needs to be unblocked. Show me what’s standing in my way. I know how to fix it but I gotta have the awareness. So show me, show me, show me. One of the things that I have been working on is really eliminating my attachment to approval. I’m eliminating my attachment to getting a certain number of likes on Instagram. I talked about my Instagram a month or so ago on the show. I just didn’t want to be, I was failing with the guidelines that I had set forward in my head of what was successful and what wasn’t. But the reality was what was successful needed to change. I needed to get rid of the idea that anybody else could give me permission to be successful by their approval. Remember the quote I shared right at the beginning. My only goal, like, my only job is to step into being fully me. Being fully me is sharing whatever is on my mind in the way I feel like sharing it on Instagram that day. It sounds so simple and silly and maybe trivial. It’s an Instagram, Betsy what’s the big deal? The big deal is it is an expression of what’s going on inside. And so I can get rid of that idea that anybody else had to give me permission. I can live my big life in the way that feels right to me. And when I do that I step more into being the fullest expression of me instead of an expression of me mixed with somebody else or what someone else would want to hear or what someone else would want to see.
So, here is your homework, if you choose to accept it. I want you to take three days and I want you to record your time. I want you to record what you really do, like, what you’re actually doing and you could set a timer. I’ve talked about this little app called Chime. It’s just a basic little green little app. It does nothing but chime at an interval that you set up. So set it up once an hour. What have I been doing or what have I been thinking about? And track. You are going to start to see what your true priorities are. You might think your priorities are something but this will tell you.Three days, it will tell you. Now we are heading into a holiday weekend here’re in the United States, so your schedule might be a little
different. Your life might be a little different. Maybe it is something you start on Monday. Take the time. Do this. Give yourself this gift of evaluation. How much time are you actually spending on your dream? How much time are you actually thinking things that are pulling you away from your dream comparing yourself to other people? Where can you release it?
So make your list. Start to become aware. Have an awareness of when you’re not showing up as truly you and start to notice where you can shift that so that you can start to be that true expression and start to live those desires and get yourself a big, hairy, audacious goal. There’s still time. There’s always time. Your ship is coming in everyday. Everyday! You never miss it. Everyday it pulls up. You can get on that day. You can wait till tomorrow. So choose to get on today. Set up a big, huge goal and maybe you track it. Maybe you do what I am doing
and you record it or you journal about it. And you just keep yourself focused and keep yourself going. You keep yourself moving forward towards what it is that you want because that is I think is how you live a big life.
Now, if you want some help with this I have a free training on your subconscious on my website. Just go to betsypake.com and its free, right there. And of course, if you’re not in our Facebook group, join our Facebook group. You just go to theartoflivingbig.com and it will be right there waiting for you. It will pop you right into the Facebook group. And I’m in there once a week coaching and Monday I usually share an intention. We’ve got the Possibility Posse in there. It’s kind of a fun group, If you are already in that group share, like, share some stuff you are working on. Don’t share your big audacious goal! Although, we’ll all support you. It will be a safe space. But start to share somethings in there. I would love for that to be a place where people are really talking about what they are manifesting and working on. You know getting help and sharing their experiences. I love you guys. Have an awesome weekend and I will see you next week.
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Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.