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On today’s episode I talk about a firmly held belief I have and why it can benefit you if you have it too!
Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your
This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live bag.
Good morning fellow adventurers.
Welcome to today’s show. So
it’s like weird times again, right? I feel like things are starting to ramp back up with the Coronavirus. And, you know, we’re we’re being asked to wear masks everywhere. And staying at home again. And it sort of looks like you know, a lot of that will be will be ramping up even more in different states. You know, this past week, I was supposed to go to LA. I don’t know, if you’ve listened to the show for a while.
You may remember that I left for LA at the end of February and was supposed to be there for like three and a half weeks. And I was there for some training. And while I was there is when everything started to happen with the Coronavirus.
Like when I left
my house. I knew about it. But it was very like one person I think they had it and you know, everything was still open March Madness, basketball was still going on, like all of that stuff. But once I got there and I was there a couple of weeks, everything started to shift. And I actually left before my training was even canceled, because I just had like a bad feeling about it. And so I left.
So I was supposed to go back this week. And I don’t know, maybe two weeks ago, I was like I’m not getting my plane ticket I had sort of delayed, you know, getting my plane ticket to see what would happen. And I was like I’m not going. And sure enough, it was supposed to I was supposed to be there the last two days for some training. And I don’t know maybe like last Thursday, or Friday, they cancelled and said they weren’t going to be able to do it. So I can see all of this stuff happening. And so I wanted to talk a little bit about things that happen in our lives, whether it’s the Coronavirus, or whatever it is, that really just isn’t something that we wanted,
you know, it’s just maybe a hardship
or maybe a struggle, or maybe
felt harder than it was supposed to be. Maybe it was something that you thought would be simple or a relationship that you thought was amazing. And then after a couple months, it just was so much work and you were like what is going on? Right?
Maybe it was that you lost a job that you didn’t expect to lose, like whatever it is, I have a belief. And it’s a really strong belief. And it may not be a belief that you have, but I wanted to share it with you because I believe that this belief empowers me to take control of things happening in my life. And to move forward in a way that gets me an outcome that’s more desirable. I think there’s two ways to deal with things, there’s probably three ways to deal with things, right, something happens and we’re like, oh my god, and it just stops us and holds us and maybe depresses us.
And I have certainly had times like that where things have happened in my life, where it felt like it just completely derailed me. And maybe honestly, looking back, maybe that’s where I got this belief from, because I had to have it in order to survive. So one way is that it can just tear us down. The other way is that it can just make us indifferent, right where we just are like, whatever, I don’t care.
And the other way is that it can empower us, it can help us learn, and it can help us grow. So I want to share that belief with you today, and share with you a little bit about how I put it into action. Alright, so here’s my belief, are you ready? My belief is that everything is always working for us. Everything’s always working for us. And if that’s true, which I believe it is, then that means every hardship, every awful thing is actually moving me forward through whatever it is I’m supposed to go through.
So if I avoid whatever it is, that’s the struggle, or if I, you know, just shut down, then it prolongs not only my suffering, but it prolongs me moving through the event that I was supposed to grow from, and when I grew would grow from that event, then I would move even faster and faster and faster towards other things that I wanted in my life. So everything’s always working for us. So here’s why I think this is so important is that believing everything’s always working for us train forum’s you and empowers you. So that when something bad happens, or something that you didn’t want to have happen, happens in your life, you, your brain will start to scan
for the lesson,
it’ll scan for what could be good about it, it’ll scan for, like how this could really be propelling you forward, it will scan so that maybe I have to look at this in a different way, maybe it’s not bad, maybe it just looks bad at the surface.
So believing this,
everything is always working for me, helps me to move through struggle so much faster, and helps me get to the point, right. So let me kind of explain and show you how this could work in a really practical way. So if you take a piece of paper, and if you’re driving or something, you can just sort of imagine this, right? So you may take a piece of paper and put a line down the middle. And on one side, you could put all the things that happen to you in your life, right things that, you know, that maybe you didn’t want, like, like if I were to put my list, you know, my mom died in a car accident when I was 16. I got divorced.
My daughter is better now. But she was sick for a long time when she was a teenager. Like, these are all like things. This could be like things that happen to me, right? And if I’m coming from that place, where I’m like, Oh my god, these things happen to me, like my mom died when I was 16. Like,
Oh, my gosh. But
if I look on the other side of that line, and how could this be working for me? Well, I found a different level of spirituality, because I went through that I have created like a deep level of empathy for others that I don’t think I would have had, if I didn’t go through that experience. Right, I found my calling. By going through that experience. I’m living my entire life differently. Because I went through that experience. So now Do you see how I could take that, like my mom dying and all the awfulness that that is?
But that was working for me. And this is how. So I find this helpful to do if I’m feeling really stuck, or I’m like, Oh, my gosh, I am not. I know everything is working for me, I have a belief. But right now I’m not able to see how this is working. For me. This is an exercise that I do, I just grab a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle, and I write on the left hand side with a crappy thing that’s happening. And then I just brainstorm I asked my brain like, how, how could this be working for me, and sometimes I write down stuff that I’m like, I don’t even think that could be true.
But I’m gonna write it down because it’s possible. And then as I go through possibility becomes reality, then all of a sudden, it feels like this could actually be real. You know, I’ll give you another one. Like, I got divorced, I got divorced, when my daughter was young, I think it was painful for her. Like, there’s so many regrets wrapped up in that.
I really learned who I want to be in a relationship and all the things that I did wrong, and that he did wrong to right. So that I know what it is I want to look for in somebody else. And I’m married now to my husband, and I don’t know, we’ve been married eight, eight years or so. And so, like, it was really apparent to me, I got really clear. And, you know, I don’t know, the specific reasons why I had to go through a divorce.
But I know that it served me, I know that it came, I came through it like a different person. And I think a better person. You know, sometimes people will say, going back to my mom, people say I’m so sorry about your mom. And I appreciate that so much. And I I think when they say it, I think in the back of my head. And I don’t quite know how to save this. But I think in the back of my head. Like I appreciate that.
And I would do anything to have my mom back. But I wouldn’t change who I am because of it is served me. So if you’re stuck and you’re struggling, and you’re in the muck of something bad, it feels bad. I want you to just pause and ask yourself, how could this be working for me? Make this list, draw a line down the middle and brainstorm. It doesn’t have to feel real at first. You just have to get your mind starting to think in a new way. You know that the idea that life just happens to me. Like all these things are just happening to me. This makes it so hard to be successful.
Because if things are just happening to you, you have no
control over any of it. Right? It’s it’s just things are randomly happening. But when you believe that everything’s working for you, then you can sort of believe I made this happen. Right. The universe has my back And, and then you can, then you can make changes, then you can use it to propel you forward. And here’s one of the biggest things is that when we believe the universe is working for us that everything is working in our favor, and something happens, we can actually use it to strengthen our identity.
And why is that important to strengthen our identity? Because whatever we believe we are, is how we make choices and changes in the world. How we believe we are, what our identity is, is the thing that causes the micro expressions on our face, and changes how we interact with people. It’s the thing that changes how we see things. You know, you’ve probably heard me talk about this before, but inside your head is a very complex voting process.
And it votes the very top thing that it thinks is the most important in your life. I’m going to give you an example. So I want you to think about a lion. Okay, so do you have that in your head picture of a lion, I want you to notice that it didn’t like pixelate down, like it’s not like it’s coming, it’s coming, I can halfway see it, right, it just showed up in your head. Now, if you have little kids, and you’re listening, it was probably like, it was probably a cartoon lion. Like maybe it was like Simba. But maybe if you’re like my age, it was like a National Geographic lion. It’s like a picture of a lion. Right? So that is a complex voting system, that it looks your brain. When I said, Lion, it looks at every little possible thing
that you’ve ever experienced.
Yes, everything you’ve ever experienced is housed in your subconscious. And so it’s thinking about that. It’s weighing all the options. How does it weigh it? Well, if something was really emotional, it’s going to give it more weight. If something was told to you by somebody that you look up to, or admire, like a parent, or a teacher or a grandparent, that’s going to hold more weight. And that’s going to influence the voting system.
So when I believe that everything is working for me, it changes my identity. When it changes my identity, it impacts my voting system. If I am walking through the world thinking things are just happening to me, I have no control, am I going to see opportunity?
because the voting system isn’t going to show me opportunity because it doesn’t believe it’s important. It’s going to show me reasons I should be cautious, it’s going to show me all the other ways that life is kicking me in the ass.
So it’s really important that you can make this shift and maybe at first you’re like, this does not feel like a real belief. But I’m going to try, that’s all you need to do is just try write it down, put it in front of your computer, you know, put a post it note on your bathroom mirror, I do that all the time, to remind myself of what I want to believe our beliefs are just things that were given to us for the most part.
For the most part, unless you’ve done this deep work,
really chosen your beliefs, they’ve just sort of been handed to you. And so that’s sort of how you’re moving through the world. But if you don’t like how you’re moving through the world, you can change it. And I do this all the time. Like I have things happening to me. And situations happening to me where I’m like, I need a different belief about that, because that feels yucky. So we can change this at any time.
And so when we change that identity piece, that changes that voting system, it changes the micro expressions on my face, right? When I’m talking to people or meeting with people, which changes the way people interact with me, it changes what I see as options and opportunity in the world. You know, so many times when I talk with a new client, or somebody that’s thinking about becoming a new client, and and they will talk about well, I you know, I want a new career. Like I want a new job. I want to see, find something new, but there’s nothing around me. Inside I I’m like there’s so much around you. You’re just not seeing it.
And that sounds so Elementary, you’re like sure. But that’s my reality is that I really don’t see it will just because that’s your reality doesn’t mean it’s true. And if you could change at an identity level, if you could change who you think you are on a subconscious level, then the opportunities you saw would be different. You would connect with people in a different way and they would direct you to somebody to somebody to somebody.
Everything can shift when you start to do this and I believe that the basis of this work is really believing that all the things that are happening are happening for me and I will say in honesty that that is my default now, but it wasn’t always I had to make it my default. I had to make it so. And so if you feel like this is work you could do, this is a shift you need to make, then I would encourage you to do it to make the shift.
Get really clear on why do I think that what has happened that made me think everything was just happening to me that I was just a random ping pong ball being bounced all over the world. Right? Ask yourself and I bet if you start asking yourself, if you’re listening to this show, then there’s going to be part of you that goes, No, I don’t really think that you will find the little pinhole of doubt. And that’s all you need.
If you have a belief, if somebody comes to me, and they have a belief, and it is so strong, they’re like, No, I have always believed this, I believe it, I believe that I believe it. And I can find one tiny grain of doubt. That’s all I need. You stick your fingers in that thing, and you can spread it open. And you can let tons of light in and start to have a new belief that really empowers you. So if you want to create change in your life, if you want to uplevel if you want to see opportunities for your business, for your relationships, for your career for your health and fitness for all of it.
You’ve got to start at the identity level. And if you want help with that, I do have a free training on my website. Just go to Betsy pake.com. But if you know you’re ready to make that shift, jump on my calendar and let’s just talk you can find that at Betsy Pake comm backslash,
I want to be able to help you. It’s such fun work, and you deserve to live a big life. I truly believe that. So I hope you guys all go out have an amazing week ahead. I look forward to talking with some of you. And if I can do anything for you direct you to some other resources or help you find a path that you’re looking for. You can just email us you can email us at support at Betsy Pake comm or reply to any of our emails if you’re on our email list.
And we’ll we’ll get right back to you. All right, y’all have an awesome week. Talk to you soon. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.