On today’s episode Betsy talks about having a scarcity mindset …. and not just around money, but all areas of life.
Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast.
My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.
Hello, good morning fellow adventurers.
Thanks for being here with me today. I want to talk today about escaping a scarcity mindset. This I feel like is something that has been coming up like in every coaching session in one way or another every group session, you know, inside the alchemy collective. We’ve talked about this a little bit this week, and I just feel like it’s something that I really want to expand on because I believe that in the end, what we are all looking for, is a feeling of freedom and when you’re in scarcity.
And I’m going to explain a little bit more what I mean about that.
But when we’re in that, it is really hard to have any kind of freedom to be able to live your purpose. You know, last week, we talked about purpose. It’s just so difficult if you feel like you are living under that stress and pressure of scarcity and what that mindset can do for you. So I want to get into that a little bit today. Before we get going, I just want to remind you of two things. One is if you’re not already on my email list, jump on there, just go to my website, go to Betsy pake.com. Scroll all the way down to the bottom and put in your name or get any of the freebies on my site.
The reason is that we’re going to be opening up just a flash with the alchemy collective. So if you want to jump in there, we only open it a few times a year so we’re going to open it up for 24 hours, just to get you guys in there because we’re doing so many cool things. This past month we had a really great subliminal audio that everybody really pitched in and helped create giving the content and it’s so good. And everyone’s been feeling such a shift in it, they’ve been using it with their kids. And I’ve been listening and I love it. And so I want you guys to be able to have access to that. And also, because we’re going to be moving forward in the month of August and doing some really cool things around what we’re talking about today. So I want you to be able to get in there. So get on my mailing list. And then the second thing, if you’re not already in the Facebook group, be sure that you’re in there. On the 10th 11th 12th, I’m going to be doing a free training on creating a mindful body, using that mind-body connection to actually uplevel the way that you think release some of those old patterns and start to be able to change your body in a way that feels really empowering. So make sure that you are in there for that and you can find that just go to the art of living big.com it’ll push you right into the Facebook group. All right, so let’s start and get into this a little bit.
So how to escape a scarcity mindset.
So I want to talk about what I even mean by a scarcity mindset, because right off your mind may have gone to money. And absolutely, we can have a scarcity mindset around money. But I think that we can have a scarcity mindset around lots of things, that there are lots of things in this world that are not available to us that might be available to other people. And I think if you have a scarcity mindset around one thing, it probably leaks into other areas, maybe not to the same extent, but the scarcity is really an overarching way of looking at the world as opposed to just around one particular part. Now, with all that said, I don’t know that there are very many people in the world that don’t have a scarcity mindset to some degree. So you know, we are having this human experience and we
human experience is this brain that is designed to look for danger, right look for scarcity. And so part of it, I would say, is just a natural way of being. But I think one of the really powerful things about us and about our minds and about how we think, is that we have this neural plasticity, we have the ability to change and grow and move ourselves into a different way of thinking. And so this is something that, like I said, has been coming up a lot. And it’s something that I really want to talk about because I want you to see this in a little bit different way. There was an early episode that I did on money. It was Episode 95. It was changing your energetic relationship to money.
And in that episode, I talked about how we have been brought up to think of money as a pie, as this pie that gets divided up and
Somebody gets a bigger piece of that pie than there’s less for everybody else. And I’ve seen this recently, I’ve seen this a lot like on Instagram, where if the people shouldn’t be allowed to have a certain amount of money or over a certain amount of money, they, they should have to stop earning money and have to give their money away. And I find this fascinating because it really draws on the idea that there’s not enough for everybody. And that example is with money. But I think that this goes towards other areas of our lives. And what how I see this show up like with relationships, well, I’m just not meant to have a relationship. Maybe I’m just not meant to find the right guy. Right. The idea behind that. The feeling behind that is that there’s only so many good guys,
right? There’s only so many and so if somebody has them, then there’s probably I’m just not meant to be the one that has them and
I don’t think that’s true. I think there are an unlimited amount of good guys, I really do. Because a good guy for me is different than a good guy for you, right? And when we’re looking for somebody, it is in the weeding out it is in what our unconscious mind sees as really important, is what’s going to draw it to the top and make you aware of it. So I want to explain that a little bit more, because I think that can go towards every single thing, relationships, jobs, job opportunities, you know, career stuff, money stuff. When we look at the world, there is so much information coming at us that our brains cannot process at all our conscious minds, can only process a very teeny, teeny tiny amount of what’s actually coming at us from the world. My unconscious mind, on the other hand, sees everything. It absorbs everything. It takes in everything. It just does.
Bring it to your conscious awareness unless it thinks it’s important. So how does it decide that it’s important? Based on all the things that you’ve taught it? And you have taught it by having strong emotion around something? Oh, that must be important. There’s a strong emotion, having repetition. Oh, she always thinks this thing. This must be important. Having people in power right, your parents, your grandparents, teachers, bosses, professors tell you something that carries stronger importance. Oh, that must be really important. So when all of this stuff is coming in, my unconscious mind has to filter. It has to say, Well, I’m going to show her conscious mind this thing and not this thing. Because this thing over here does isn’t as important to her. Now, the problem is, is that if you’ve been focusing on the wrong things, if you’ve been listening to the wrong people, if you’ve been experiencing and looking for the things that aren’t serving you, then you’re gonna keep seeing those things because that’s how your brain is designed, but you can shift it, you have the power to shift it. So the really powerful thing is that and I’m going to share some ways you can start to do this is that you have the ability to change that filtering system to change that voting system. You know a really easy way to understand this is a new mom goes to sleep. And the moment the baby makes a sound, what happens? Like she’s wide awake, right? She’s sitting up Wait, is that a sound What’s happening? And that is because the voting system decided that was super important. Now, and I’m not just trying to be funny, I’m being serious here. The dads tend to sleep through it, because biologically, and in many times, socially, it’s the mom that’s getting up to feed the baby in the middle of the night. And so he doesn’t have to hear it.
So sometimes I’ll hear mom say, how come he doesn’t hear it? He really doesn’t. Because our unconscious minds are hearing everything. But it’s only bringing into our awareness, the things that are important. We smell smoke, we wake up. Why? Because our unconscious mind says, whoa, that’s danger, you need to conscious mind. Notice, notice, notice, and so you get up. So that is happening all day long as you’re walking through the grocery store as you’re driving down the street, as you’re interacting with people in your environment, at work, all of those things. So, if I want to change my scarcity mindset, I need to change what is available to me. And so I need to change what my brain is sending in as that level of importance. And here’s why I think this is so important is because if you have a constant worry, whether it’s about your relationship or your body, or your money, it’s keeping you away.
way from being able to live in purpose. It’s keeping you away every day from feeling joy and happiness, which I think is part of all of our purpose.
I believe that we have come here to experience this reality in a way that is specific to us. And when we are locked in this scarcity path, it’s keeping us from experiencing all that we actually came here to, to, to have to experience. And so it’s not just keeping me from my purpose, like my lifelong purpose. You know, last week we talked about this, but my daily purpose.
Have you ever had a time where you’ve been really worried about money? I remember being in college and being like, Oh my gosh, I worked all through college. And I was very lucky because my dad paid for half of my school but I had to pay for the other half. And so I worked all through college and I remember being tweaked.
Without going, I know I have these bills due. And I know I’ve got to get them. And I couldn’t focus on other things. It was hard to focus on having friends and being happy. Like, I was like, Oh my gosh, I’m I was in that scarcity mode. So it pulls me away from my experiences on a day to day level. Now, that’s money, but I want to talk to you also about body and your body image. If you’re thinking about how you don’t like your body and every single thing that you’re eating, and you’re feeling over what you’re in that scarcity, like, I can’t have what I want unless I’m hyper-vigilant, right? It’s keeping you from finding the joy in your everyday life. It’s keeping you from that experience. And I’ve been noticing this more and more as people have reached out to me or I’ve had clients and so this is why I’m doing this free training inside the Facebook group because I feel like this is so important. This is something that I think maybe because of Coronavirus and because people are, you know that they’re turning to food to get that comfort and to get that relief because it’s easy. It’s because it’s what they know. And maybe they don’t know other ways. And so when we’re in this then constant stress of I don’t fit into my clothes or I feel like crap or I don’t look good or I don’t want my husband or my wife to see me or whatever that is that scarcity of I can’t have what I want is keeping you from being aligned and feeling good every day. Now, when you get this whole thing, right, when you get that this can you when you can contain I guess is a good way to say it, that scarcity mindset, when you can recognize it and you have skills and you know how to shift it. Then you have freedom. And in the end, I think freedom is what everybody wants, you know, people come to me for a lot of different things that they want to create.
To uplevel and accomplish in their life, but in the end, what they want is freedom, freedom from the stress and worry and lack, and wondering if they can do it and not knowing how to do it. Right freedom to experience joy and happiness. So abundance isn’t just about money. It’s about everything that’s available to you. It’s about relationships, it’s about wealth. It’s about friendships. You know, it’s about family. It’s about having that love for your own body. It’s about your career success. It’s about all of that.
So how can we actually start to shift this? So let’s get into that a little bit. Things that we can really notice. Now. I always say this, but this is just the truth. And it sounds easy, but I think this is the very hardest part is that we have to get a level of awareness and this can be really, really hard for people that level of awareness.
If there are times where people will say things to me, and I wonder, do they know what it is? They’re actually saying, Do they hear all the scarcity in that? And so just having that awareness of what your beliefs are around your body? What are your beliefs around what your body’s capable of doing? A belief about what your body is supposed to be like, right? Because I have people all the time say to me like, well, I’ve always been like this or, you know, I have this background or my phones are big or, you know, my hormones are in and there are real things physically, but many times, there is a reason that people think that they can’t have what they want, that is outside of them. And most of the time, that’s not true. So get that awareness. What do you really think? And you know, I say this to my clients, but take a piece of paper and write at the top what the thing is, you know,
I don’t have enough money.
Well, what do you think about money? write everything down? What do you think about money? What do you think about not having enough money? What do you think about where the money comes from? What do you think about how you get money? What do you think about what you’re worthy of right? What do you think about all of those things to get this level of awareness? And the second thing is to talk prosperity into everything. You know, I noticed that when I’m working with and I noticed this in myself, too. We all do this, where I will say, Oh, I can’t do that right now, or I can’t afford that right now. And I have to shift that and say, it doesn’t fit my priorities right now. Because the truth is that that’s the case. Could I figure out how to how to get the money for something? Yeah, but would I rather have the money for my mortgage, right or, or, or groceries or savings. So it just isn’t in my priorities.
My primary are different, right? So, so shifting the way that you’re talking about things so that you’re talking prosperity into anything. So instead of saying I don’t, I can’t do it, I don’t have the money say, it doesn’t fit my priorities right now, I used to say this to my daughter all the time because I wanted to be aware, I wanted her to have a level of awareness that it is about a priority. It’s not about lack, right? And I say to my daughter, she’s moving into a new apartment here shortly. And she wants certain things right for her apartment. And I tried to explain, you know, that most of my stuff was like, used old stuff when I moved into an apartment. And she said, Well, these are the things I really want. These are the things I really need to have. And I said, Well, I know that we can create magic. So if that’s really what you want, start, start speaking truth into it. Start thinking about how are all the different ways that could happen? Speak prosper.
All over it. You know, I got an idea. I don’t know several years ago, I heard Katherine’s and Keita talk about this. And I have done this over the past few years. Every time I go to buy something, I swipe my card you know my debit card I say there’s more where that came from. There’s more where that came from. It is a flow. And if I think about it as a flow, then it doesn’t seem it was just flowing through me It came to me and leaves and more comes to me, right? So talk prosperity into everything, use the word yet. I haven’t found the greatest a great I can’t find a great relationship yet. Just add yet when you notice you say something, add the word yet to the back of it, and then keep talking. I can’t find a good relationship. I can’t find a good guy yet. But I know that there are so many people in the world I haven’t met.
Right talk prosperity into things. Notice where you’re saying this goes back to the awareness but notice
Where you are thinking, lack, talk prosperity into it, actively sit down and go, how could I talk prosperity into this? Right? I can never lose weight. I hear people say that to me too. I can never lose weight. Really talk prosperity into that. I know that there is an abundance of information in the world on how to do this. But I think that when you shift your mindset about who you are in relation to it, that’s what makes the change. That’s what changes what your brain calls to the forefront and tells you his reality. That’s what changes your micro reactions. That’s what changes your choices. So how can you talk prosperity into that? I know that I can get control of anything that I want in my life, my weight, my money, my relationships, because of my mindset.
The third thing I want you to do is to celebrate.
Celebrate your successes, like constantly my husband and I will count we’re constantly saying like, what are we celebrating tonight? Every time we go out to eat, even if we were like, let’s just go grab something eat, I’m like, what are we celebrating? We can turn everything into a celebration. I joke and I have said with my group coaching clients and and I know several of them have done this too, is that they got a bell so I have a bell. Let me back up and tell you a couple years ago, I went to a Falcons game with my husband and the Falcons have this like horn that they blow. Every time the team like gets a touchdown. And at first we were it’s a it’s a football team here in Atlanta at first. When we were there, they would blow the horn and I was like, Oh, it’s a touchdown. But then I noticed they were blowing the horn like we just when they did something good. And I was like we we wait wait a minute. It’s not just when they win.
Great, it’s not just when they accomplish the goal that they set out to accomplish. It’s every time they do something that’s working them in the direction of their goal. It’s like a big foghorn It was like this room. It was like, I need that. I need that for my house. Every time I make some eggs are like moving towards, you know, clean up the kitchen, ring the bell. And so I bought this bell that I would ring. And every time I did something good, I would just ring the bell. It was a way to celebrate. And when you can start to celebrate your little accomplishments, you start to see how much good stuff you do all day. So many of you are not realizing how many things you do that are amazing. And sometimes, you might think, well, that’s just normal. I just do that. Right? Like I can just make toast and not burn. It’s no big deal. There’s a lot of people that cannot do that. I know this sounds silly. But it’s important you start to celebrate all of those little things. Why?
Because what you’re focused on is what grows. And so if you are focused and this is science and Whoo, okay, so this is like, this is just how your brain works, what you’re focused on is going to expand. So if you continue to focus, focus, focus, focus, focus on all the things you’re doing great and good and that come easy, then that’s what you’re going to keep seeing. That’s what your brain is going to keep showing you. Now, imagine an entire day where all you notice is the good stuff. Sounds pretty great, doesn’t it? So that’s possible by celebrating. Now you can celebrate other people too. You know, if I see somebody on Instagram that did something great or wrote a new book or you know, put whatever looking good, good hair day, you know, I want to say it I want to celebrate that with them. You know, the law of oneness is that we are all connected. What is done towards one person is done towards me. And my unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between them and
So if I’m saying, if I’m celebrating you, my unconscious mind thinks it’s me to the way that I can put out that good. That good ass prana baby and still get something that’s why it feels good. So celebrate other people celebrate yourself. And the fourth thing is not to compare your journey with somebody else. Now, this might be about relationships, this might be about your kids, it might be about your career might be about money, it might be about your weight, whatever it is. If you are looking at somebody else, and saying, Ah, I wish that was me, how come they’re able to do that? And we’ve all done this, right? We all have people that we look to and go, Oh, I want you to think of like, it’s like a, it’s like a flow, right? All of this energy is a flow. And if you’re in a river, let’s say you’re standing in a river, and you can see it stream is that person that you go, oh, that I wish I could be like that I wish I could have a body like that or a husband like that or a career like that. I wish my house looks like that. You’re seeing the water hit them in a certain way. Right? Well, now it’s flowing, it’s flowing. When it by the time it gets to you, the waters changed, right? It’s picked up sediment, perhaps maybe there’s some fish in it.
You’ve the water that hit them is now all the way to your right, and you’re getting the water that never even came close to them. It’s your mixture. You can’t compare yourself because you’re in a totally different stream. You can celebrate where they are and go, Oh, that’s awesome. Look at that cool. they’re experiencing this cool thing. And I know that when the flow is hitting me It’s exactly what I need. And I can celebrate this too. And when you can think of it that way that there’s no
There’s always enough it’s just always changing. So it always looks different. If you’re comparing yourself to somebody else you’re comparing yourself to, to water that can never be put back together in that same way you’ll never get that. But you can create something amazing when the water hits you. So staying open for the flow, I’m open to whatever comes to me. I want any goodness that’s coming my way. And I’m going to celebrate it when it comes here. You know, I heard
I can’t remember where I heard it now. I think maybe it was Rebecca Campbell.
Wrote said something and I wrote it down it. I think I heard it maybe in one of her books, but it and I wrote it down. It’s on my desk and it says, I show up and shine my light as far as the universe sees fit.
So I don’t have to worry about what light is hitting you or somebody else I admire. I don’t have to worry about that all I have to do is show up and shine my light and the universe will help me shine that as far as it sees fit. I can just be in the flow, I can just allow whatever opportunities are coming to me. Now, more opportunities will come to me because I noticed them because my subconscious mind raises that level of a port importance and it shows me more opportunity when I am celebrating when I’m open to the flow when I’m finding the prosperity and everything. So everything that you want is I’m gonna guess already right around you but you literally can’t see it. Because it’s not being shown to you because your subconscious mind doesn’t think it’s as important. So, get the awareness, talk prosperity into everything, celebrate yourself, celebrate other people. Don’t compare your journeys. Just be in the flow for what is coming to you.
One last thing is when you get a thought, I want you to challenge it, you know, when you go up, but I can’t lose weight I’ve tried. Is it true? Have you ever lost weight? Do you lose weight in one week and then gain it back so you can actually lose it? Right? Although we’re trained to get stuff back that we lose. That’s a whole other story that I’ll talk about inside the Facebook group when I do those videos for you all. So challenge it. Ask yourself, Is it true? You know, I can never find a great guy. I just can’t find a great guy. Is it true? Do you see other people with great guys? Oh, so you can find them? Right? Do you see what I mean? Just challenge it when you can challenge it and find some way that what you think isn’t true. Your subconscious mind starts to go Ah, I’m not sure if this is should be as high on the voting list. Maybe I need to release this. Right. So just challenge things.
And take those actions to shift. You know, if you are hearing all these things, it’s not enough to just hear it, it’s not enough to just listen, every week, you’ve got to take actions, you’ve got to start doing some of this stuff and put it into practice. You know, every week when I do these shows, it is as much a reminder for me as it is for you. I revisit this stuff, I really look at it and say, Where am I falling off? You know, where am I not doing this? I got to take action if I want to shift, and you know, I say this to, to the women that I talked to that are looking into coaching with me, and I always say you’ve got to be resourceful. And anytime you want change, anytime you want change, you’ve got to be resourceful. because change is going to take three things. It’s going to either be time, money, or energy or all three, right? I recently had a broken window in my house, and I gotta change it. It has to change it cannot have a broken window in my house time, money and energy took all three because I wanted the change. It was important to me to change. You know, we want to redo our kitchen time, money and energy, maybe not as much time, right? You can put more money into something and take less time, right? So, if you think of these three things, when you listen, you’re taking your time right now take your energy, take your energy and take that action to start to shift.
Right and if you want to get help, let me know you can jump on my calendar. You can go to Betsy Pake comm backslash, let’s talk. We can talk about it, get you some clarity around whatever it is you’re really struggling with. If I think I can help you, absolutely I can show you how that can work. And if not, I can give you some other resources and next steps so you know what to do. So take this action, don’t just listen. Start taking that movement forward. Because I think when you do that, that is how you live a big life. So thank you so much for listening.
I hope that this served you. If it did, please share it with your friends tag me on Instagram. I am at @Betsypake. I’ll see you guys soon.
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