How do you live each day? What do you find excuses for? How do you want to remember your life when you are old and dying in your bed?
Today Betsy explores what would make greatness for her life, and invites you to create your list so you live No Zero Days!
Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, good morning, everybody. Welcome fellow adventurers. I’m excited for a new show today. I’m excited for a new week. I know it’s Friday, when you’re listening, probably but
it is a new week, Friday to Thursday. That’s a whole new week.
about that. I get excited in the morning. It’s a new start. We had a happy hour last night with the alchemy collective. And some people from my rise coaching group where we just got online and was so fun to see everybody. Like I love to see everybody’s face and talk to everybody. And it was just so if I get a little excited, I get a little. It’s a little exciting for me. I think I’ll calm down the more we do it. But I was so excited to see everybody. So anyway, I did that last night and I was like I need to jump in. And I have some thoughts to share with you guys. I recorded a little bit on Wednesday night to have it ready for y’all tomorrow. And that’s the whole story that the alchemy collective happy hour people know,
but it just didn’t come out. Right. And so I
needed to just center and say what is it that I need to share?
Right, what is it that
people need to hear? And so,
so I thought I would tell you a little bit about that.
Before I get started, I wanted to let you know that I’m going to be doing
a non smoking hypnosis. So if you are a smoker and you’ve been wanting to stop smoking, make sure you’re either on my email list, or jump into our Facebook group. It’s the art of living big.com we’re going to be doing a group project to help you become a nonsmoker. If you are in the alchemy collective,
you will be invited to that.
So you don’t need to, you need to sign up but you don’t need to pay for it. So just be aware. And if you guys want to join the alchemy collective next month, we are diving into every month as a different theme. And we talk about all things science and all things we we do a live workshop and a live q&a. That happy hours like I talked about. Next week we are next month we are focused on money, and forgiveness. And I believe those two things go hand in hand. So I’m really excited for next month for some of the hypnosis that I have planned and all that good stuff. So if you want to jump in there, you can go to my website, you’ll see a link for it right on the main page. Or you can go to Betsy Pake comm backslash alchemy collective, I have been focused over the last few weeks month, maybe the last month, I’d say, on this idea of having excellence, I talked about it inside the Facebook group, I do a live show in there on Tuesdays at two Eastern if you ever want to join us. But I talked about this idea of really up leveling and trying to do things with excellence. And I’ll kind of explain how I explained it in the live. But, you know, I’ve been doing these workouts, um, I want to talk about that too. But I’ve been doing these workouts, and you know,
when you’re doing a
workout and you’re following like a video or a program, and there’s three seconds left, and you’re struggling, and you’re huffing and puffing, and you’re like, Oh my God, thank God, three seconds left, this rep takes five seconds. So I’m just not gonna like I just stop. And I’m sure you’ve done that before. And I realized that if I was doing my workouts with excellence,
work all the way to the end, I would do those two seconds while everybody else was resting and I would get the full rep in. Right. I have been networking a lot with people from different coaching groups that I’m in as a coachee. And as I’ve been getting ready to get on those calls with people, I’ve been trying to research them and see how I can serve. Right? Because that feels like excellence to me. in the morning. I say to my husband like how are you going to be excellent today, like what’s going to happen? And for me personally, I don’t know about a month ago or so. I realized that especially with the coronavirus, right. So it’s affecting all of us differently. And I definitely have had the wild ride as well. But I realized that because things felt more lacs. I was almost more lacks and I felt like sometimes days would go by and or weeks even would go by and there wasn’t anything necessarily remarkable about it. And I’m not saying that every day has No, I am every day should be something remarkable, something really great. I know that everyday isn’t going to be where you’re, you know, going to the beach or like going on vacation or doing some crazy wild skydiving adventure or whatever. But every day can have greatness in it. And I realized when I would look back on my week, I would be like, what did I even accomplish? Like what happened? And, you know, for me, I would think like I did the podcast, and I believe that serves people, right? I mean, a ton of people listen, so I’m thinking it’s helpful. You know, I coached my people in my program, and that’s important. But beyond that, I was like, What is happening? So, about a month ago, I really started thinking like, what would be excellent? What would make excellence? And how do I kind of harness this and make it into something that’s really useful to me? So
had two things happen. One is, I got really clear on where I needed help. And I, I found a coach to help me in one area now, do I believe I could get there on my own, I could, but I think it would have been really hard. And I think it would have taken a lot longer. And I wanted to move quickly. And so I hired a coach to help me. And that’s been incredible, really great. And I had three areas, the first area hired the coach, the second area, I was like, I’ll wait till after this coaching, and then I’ll get a coach, another coach for this. But the second coach came into my awareness. And so I was like, if I have asked for this, and the universe is bringing it to me, even though it feels like this is bad timing, I’m going to do it because I want to be excellent. And sometimes excellence isn’t having everything be great timing. Sometimes excellence is pushing yourself and expanding and forcing that expansion in that way that the coaches felt aligned, I was excited about it. And so I was like, throw out the idea that time is something that is going to hold me back. Like when I look back on the end of my life, do I want to go Ah, those that would have been great. The timing was just wrong. Right? Like, no, I want to be like, yeah, I made it happen. Like I knew what was a priority to me and I made it happen. And then the third thing, I found a coach for that as well and I worked out a way to make that happen. So I can focus on that. After some of this stuff is gone on top of all
that. I don’t
know if you guys remember back in February, I went to LA and I was in LA when the Coronavirus things started. I actually had a podcast episode that was titled something like why I’m traveling during the Coronavirus. And I got so much hate mail because people didn’t listen to the episode to realize that I was traveling before people were even talking about the Coronavirus and that my traveling during the Coronavirus was because I needed to come home. So that just stressed me out because I was just getting bombarded with messages. And so I don’t even think that’s up anymore. But my point is that that training that I was at that got cut short that I left LA is going to be in a couple weeks here on the east coast. So I’m going to attend that. So on top of all the coaching, there’s also i’m going to be gone to finish this class. So not a good time. And again, I wanted Excellent. So I bring this to you to just say Where are you holding yourself back? Because you think it’s not a good time? And is it true? Or is it just a realigning of your priorities? You know, I was taking a look at what I was doing and where I was spending my time. And I have not been a TV watcher for, I don’t know, 20 years, maybe more. And during the Coronavirus, I started watching Netflix and I started watching Grey’s Anatomy now. I really liked it. I was super into it. But I was watching it a lot like I would just have it on sort of in the background when I was, you know, doing laundry or whatever. And I started to think about it. I started to think about the surgeries and accidents and I realized this was getting embedded in my subconscious. And I realized I was spending so much time doing that. What could I accomplish if I wasn’t watching TV? Like if I wasn’t focused on that? Where could I be focused? And was I letting that rob me of my excellence? So as you take a look at your day, and you think, well, I don’t have time right now look at where you’re spending your time. And is it a choice or is it just dead Default. And if it’s a default, make it a choice, look at it and say is that where I want to spend my time? Maybe it is. But if it’s not, then you can take some action to kind of bring that time back for you. And that’s what I did. I was like, I’m not living a life of excellence. I’m having days and weeks go by where there’s nothing remarkable. And that’s not okay. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of a pandemic, I want to have more life in my days. And so the second coach that I hired, was specifically to help me design my life, to be to be more, you know, to be really focused on how to create new things in my life. And so one of the things that I started doing about a month ago was every day at 8am, I moved my body. I think I talked about that maybe last week on the show, but am I’m priming my body at that particular time to get up and move. And I noticed at 755, I start to feel like I gotta get going, I got to move. And I’ve been doing some workouts I’ve been going for a walk, if that’s what I feel like, but just making sure that I’m moving my my body every single day. So I wanted to tell you, my seven things that I came up with, that would make a day remarkable so that I could look back on the day and go, this was a remarkable day. And I think these days that I could do this if it was a pandemic, or it was a vacation day at the beach. So this can be for me a structure of how I live my life and excellence, right? No zero days. I don’t want to look back on my life and be like, this was a zero day. Or like yesterday, I didn’t do any What the heck did I do? Like, I don’t want that. And so I realized even things like, like social media, you know, if you’re on social media for an hour, okay, so let’s just say that I don’t even think is a lot, because I know I’m on for work with my groups. But also I go on Instagram, and I scroll right. So if you’re on for an hour, you know, that’s 30 hours a year, or 30 hours a month, 30 hours a month, and that’s only if you’re on for one hour.
So 30 hours a month, that’s
365, right? 365 hours in a year.
So it’s like,
like 15 full days,
it’s like a half a month of my year would just be on social media. And that’s just if it was an hour. But y’all know you’re on there more than an hour.
You’re probably on two hours.
And so that’s 30. That’s an entire month of your year, literally an entire month, that you’re just looking at your phone or on social media. I mean, I know this for me, I was on more than two hours, y’all I was on a lot. I don’t
remember the actual number because I was horrified.
So no zero days. And so these are the seven things that I came up with. I offered them to you, but also we offer you to think through what would make a day great for you. What would that look like? You know, a few years ago, I wrote a book called start small, live big. And I talked about Jim valvano, who was a basketball coach. Back in the day he was it was in the 80s. My mother loved him. She had a book he had written, I remember it was on her nightstand. She just thought he was so great. But you know what his whole thing was visualizing, like creating greatness being a person of integrity. Like he had a really great mission. And I wrote about him in the book because he created like such momentum and his basketball team using visualization. It’s fascinating. And one of the things that he said is to have a great day, you got to have three things.
And it was you got to laugh every day, you got
to think every day and you got to have something move you to tears. And that’s how you live a full life. And so in thinking about that, and using that, as my inspiration, I came up with things that would make me feel like I had achieved excellence for the day. No zero days. This is my no zero day list. Number one is I have to move my body. Now, you know, it might not feel like doing a really heavy big workout. I may have had four or five days of really hard workouts. And that’s just not what my body needs. But every day I can move, right I can bring my dogs for a walk. I can get outside and smell the air. I can like, I can move. I can stretch like there are so many things I could do. But just to have every day be a time where I move now. I like to choose time just because I think that’s helping prime me for a habit. So I chose 8am but I would accept and still count it as a nonzero day if I moved at any time during this Day. Number two is I want to think I want to dream and I want to project I want to project into my future. So every day I want to spend time thinking, you know, I think sometimes when we have a spare moment, where we would be thinking, we grab our phones, and I’m speaking from myself, This is what I do, right? So I’m going to assume I’m not alone,
is I’ll just grab my phone, like sort
of mindlessly. But I want to think, every day, not just meditate, but I want to think, like think through stuff,
you know, I want to dream.
And maybe that’s when I’m moving my body. I’m thinking about the future. I’m projecting that, you know, Jim valvano, used that imagery, he would make his his basketball team when he came in as the coach was terrible. And he made them cut down the net, like they would at the Final Four when they won. And the kids thought that was crazy. he’d pull out a ladder after practice and make them cut down the net was so stupid, because they were not very good. And he was like, No, we’re gonna win. And it took a little while, but they did. And they cut down the net. And it was just like they imagined. So every day dream, everyday project into my future, right, so much of what we do is rethink the past, we pull from the past. And that’s our natural way that our brain works. But I want to restructure it, right? I want to recondition my brain. So I always want to be projecting
forward, moving forward. And number
three is I want to connect with spirit. With my guides, I like to do it out loud, I say, this is what I need. Help me out today. Show me what is unseen, show me what I need to be able to live the fullest capacity of who I am. So having that time where I’m connecting with spirit Now,
that might be praying, if you’re a praying
person, like a religious person, I think it’s prayer, the way that I do it just a different way to do it. It might be pulling an Oracle card, right and using your intuition, or using a pendulum to get in touch with something that you’re trying to shift or change or grow from. Right. So it can be anything but connecting with that deepest part of you. Because I think that when we can connect with who we are inside with spirit, because I believe we are all part of that. That is how you can better connect with other people. I think when you lose that connection with that deep spirit inside you is when you start feeling wobbly around other people, and about other people and in relationships, I know that’s how it is with me, I have to reconnect.
And then I can see
that I believe other people. I believe that all of our relationships,
and other people are here to show us
contrast, right? If you think about
it, most of your probably wobbliness comes from having interactions with other people. And so we came here specifically to develop relationships to have that wobble and leanness to learn how to grow from it. So it’s needed and necessary, but we’ve got to connect into us so that we can grow and take advantage of that opportunity. Number four, is to eat vegetables and fruit every day. I was talking last night on the alchemy collective group on our happy hour about how I was going to when I come back from this trip, I’m going to become a vegetarian and someone asked me why Baba asked me why. And I, my first reaction was because I have high cholesterol. I just went to the doctor and I went to every doctor, like the dermatologist
the head of mammogram,
I like all the things. Because I really over this past month I was like at that is excellent. And I’m not doing that stuff. So I did get my cholesterol checked and it’s high. And so I feel like that’s something I need to do. But on top of that, I feel like becoming a vegetarian, even for a short time as an experiment
because I want to do it as an experiment and
and see if I can shift my numbers like you know, try it for 868 weeks, get my numbers, check, just see what’s happening. But I also think I feel really good. I have talked about vegetarianism on the show, probably two or three years ago, I had like a series with a vegan and vegetarian and a juice guy. And so it’s always been something in in me, but I have pushed it aside because it was easier to just eat the way everyone around me ate, right? I’m sure you’ve experienced that too. And you know, there’s a principle that the strongest energy in the structure defines the structure. And so I realized my energy around it just had to be stronger. Right? I needed to have excellence for myself and not care what anybody else did. But for myself, what would that look like so for me that is fruits and vegetables every single day. Number five, it is water all day long. So I am a big drinker of water anyway, I don’t drink a whole lot of other things besides water. But that’s something that’s important to me. So I want to make that a non negotiable, right? It would be a zero day, if I didn’t get any water, and I was just drinking other stuff all day, you know, whether that’s vacation or anything else. So water throughout the day. Number six, is that it would not be a good day, if I was not celebrating someone. So whether that’s, you know, someone that I care about, and I let them know, or, you know, it’s somebody on social media that I follow and see, and they’re doing something great. And I celebrate, or it’s just somebody that I’ve been noticing, you know, the other day, I, I commented on Facebook on a friend of mine that I really haven’t seen in probably several years, but she doesn’t live too far from me. But I watch her stories. And she’s an incredible mom. And she has been doing such fun stuff with her kids over this summer. And I have seen it. And she’s got two young boys. And I know it’s a lot of work. I know, she’s probably tired. But she looks like she’s having fun, and she’s making it work. And this is a really hard time for moms, you know, there’s a lot to handle a lot going on. And what I think, and I may be wrong, this is just my experience, but in what I see is we celebrate things a lot that have to do with like careers, but maybe not as much life, you know, and in the end, I think at the end of my life, I won’t look back and think like, like, wow, I you know, I mean, you hear that all the time, I wish I’d worked more. But I think it’s I, I wish I’d I think if you just have work at the end of your life, you’re like, I wish I’d lived more life.
Now. I think I’m in a amazing and unique situation that my work is so much a part of my life. And I love it. But I want to also make sure that I’m celebrating other parts of my life too. And I’m celebrating other people when I see that. So I went to her Facebook page, and I wrote a big thing about how I see her. So celebrating other people. And you know, I did that because I really felt it not because I was just trying to check something off the list. I did it because that’s how I want to live, my life is noticing and you you have so many things to celebrate all around you, right? People around us are doing amazing things. And when you celebrate them, remember the law of oneness. Your subconscious thinks you’re celebrating yourself. So there’s like a double awesomeness about it. Um, it just feels good, right? So I want to make sure that every day I’m celebrating someone else. And then number seven, is I want to make sure that I’m inspiring someone, like that’s just important to me, you know, whether it’s sharing something that I’ve struggled with and overcome or just sharing life or, or cheering someone else on like, saying, I went through this, I know what this is like, like, this sucks, and you’re doing good. Like, if that can be an inspiration to someone, you know, I hope that my show is an inspiration in some ways people get inspired by it to go out and create amazingness in their life, or start their own podcast or do whatever. So every day, I want to be inspiring someone that’s just a value for me. And if I can do those seven things, move my body, think dream and project, connect with spirit. eat fruits and vegetables, water throughout the day, celebrate somebody and inspire someone, then I’ll be living my life. I’ll be it will be a full day. And I can look back and go What have I done the last couple days. Oh, well done. I did all these cool things, right? and worked out today. Like I felt great. I got up this morning, and I did not feel like it. I really didn’t. I had a rough night asleep. So I slept in a little. And because I work out at eight. It didn’t give me enough time to like chill out because I like to chill. Like do my journaling and that stuff. But I was like I’m gonna get after it. I’m going to do it because I set this commitment. And that’s what being excellent means. And so I did my workout. And if I did one set, and I was like, Oh my gosh, mentally I’m not sure if I can do this. And then I was like No, if I’m going to be excellent. Then I’m going to keep going. You know I’m going to lower the weight so I can handle it today. And I’m going to keep going and that’s what I did and then it is not a zero day already. I got my big glass of water here. Hopefully I’m inspiring you and I did my workout. So that is how I think you live a big life. I’m continuing to define continuing to try and step up and be excellent and not make any more excuses about where I want to go and letting time define me. What can we accomplish when we step out of those bounds that are just created by us as humans anyway, they’re not real. So if you want change, and you want to create something new, take control of it. make changes in your life. Notice where you know where the boats leaking, plug the leak, whether it’s social media or anything else, and set your list of what would make it a non zero day.
No zero days.
That is our commitment. That’s our new commitment. And our new motto here. So think about what that would be for you. Let me know but uh, please post it on social media and tag me I love that and I would love to see what would make it a great day for you. Thank you so much for listening. If this inspired you, please share it. tag me again on Instagram. I’m @BetsyPake. I’m in Instagram jail right now, they won’t let me like anything. I guess I liked too much stuff, which is why I’m not supposed to be on social media so much. But what if you tagged me I can still do stories, so I will be sure to share it and comment. So thank you so much for listening, and I will see you guys next week. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.