232: Creating a breakthrough in your life - Betsy Pake

232: Creating a breakthrough in your life


On todays show I share how breakthroughs happen and how our problems are defined.

To learn more about a breakthrough day, send us a message to support @betsypake.com


Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, welcome fellow adventurers. I’m excited that you’re here today with me, I have some stuff to share just some experiences that I’ve been through in the last couple of weeks that I wanted to dive into a little bit. I feel like the show is gonna be a little different today. But I think it’s just because I feel different. I’ll explain sort of what I mean and kind of what’s been happening. So before I dive into all that, I just want to let you know, because I’ve gotten some message about the alchemy collective. So the alchemy collective is my membership. And we’ve been working on money this month, if you’re inside my free Facebook group, then you’ve probably heard us talking about it, we we do a lot of stuff in there, you know, we have a live workshop, which is like a group coaching, we have hypnosis and meditations. And like this week, I’m going in and doing some emotion code, some energy work, we just, it’s just kind of a fun, it’s an awesome community, like it’s just turned into this really awesome, kind of unique group, I think. And I’ve gotten some messages about getting in and I wanted to just let you know that we are going to be opening up the alchemy collective, again, the very first week, in in December. So we’re going to be doing alchemy week, we’re inside my free Facebook group, I’m going to kind of share with you some of the things that we do. And that will be inside my free Facebook group. So if you want to make sure that you get the details on that, or you can take part in that, you can just go to the art of living, big calm, and that will put you right into my facebook group. So I’ll be giving updates on my email list as well. But if you are interested in being a part of that, make sure that you’re in the free Facebook group. All right. So this past week, couple weeks, I have been gone to Philadelphia. So I think I mentioned it last week on the show. I mean, I’ve mentioned it for a few weeks, I was gone a little over two weeks, and I was going for my master NLP practitioner certification. So I want to talk a little bit about that. I have been a master practitioner for many years. But last year, at the end of the year, maybe beginning of the year, I decided that I wanted to be a trainer of NLP. One of the things I thought I was like, I really want to be an expert. Like I want to be so good at this, that it’s just like second nature. So be careful what you ask for from the universe, because that was my goal. And so I reached out to the company that I wanted to get my trainers certificate with and they wanted me to go through all of their training. So I went through their hypnotherapy certification, their core coaching their NLP practitioner. And then I went to their master practitioner in March. And that was in LA, I was there about a week and then COVID hit and so I left early, I came home and I finished most of the training online. So I was just super into it, I had already blocked off my calendar. So I’m like, I’m just gonna keep going. And I watched it all online, but I had to take it live in order to pass and get the certification so that I could move on to the next thing. Now, keep in mind this whole thing, this whole trainer track was supposed to be finished in August, but because of the Coronavirus, everything got shifted. So I was now going to take my master prac like retake it in Philadelphia. And so that’s what I just came home from. So, you know, I joke that I asked the universe, I said I want to be an expert, and the universe was like, well then take it many, many times.

It was so affirming though, for me, it was actually really great. Because, you know, when you know, when you’re learning something the very first time your questions are different than the questions you’ve had, you would have when you’re learning it the second time or the third time, they become deeper and more connected to the things that you already know to be true. And so I was able to get a much much deeper understanding. So in the end, I’m so thankful we had a really amazing class. The people in the class were amazing and it was just an incredible experience. Now, in that I had to pass the big test, but I also had to coach someone through what we call a breakthrough day. You may have heard me talk about breakthrough days in other episodes because I have given breakthrough days because like I said, I have been a master practitioner. And I’ve received breakthrough days. So breakthrough days are really really powerful, intense shifting on one area of your life. Now, before I go any further, if you don’t know what NLP is, it is neuro linguistic programming. It’s really a methodology in order to shift how you’re viewing the world, that way your experience becomes different. So much is stored in our subconscious minds, and NLP and hypnotherapy give us access to that I did an episode on NLP, it’s Episode 100. If you want to listen to that after just to get a deeper understanding of NLP, if that’s something that interests you. So in all of this, I had this breakthrough day. So breakthrough days where we focus in on one area of your life. And, you know, I’ve experienced breakthrough days before, but I will say that I was really, really ready, I had an area of my life that I really wanted to shift. And for the two weeks before my breakthrough day, I was doing guided meditations on it twice a day. So in the morning, and at night, I would do one just specifically on that area. So I’m going to tell you what my area was, I’m going to explain it.

And so in that I think I was able to start to loosen, you know, to like shake the tree, so that the roots were able to be extracted when we did the breakthrough day. It was such a powerful, intense, amazing day for me that I wanted to share it with you and just to share a little bit about kind of how breakthrough days work. If you’re interested in one, you can reach out to me I don’t do them very often because they are rather intense. And, but but I having the transformation that I had, I want to offer just a handful of them over the next couple weeks. So with a breakthrough day, you’re focused on one area of your life, it can be career, it can be family, relationships, personal growth and development, your health, your fitness, right weight is a big one that people do spirituality, you know, inside career, it could also be finances. So most of the time when people come to me for a breakthrough day, it’s on money. And wait, those are really the two that I see the biggest shift, but relationships comes in pretty close. Third place there. So you pick a topic, you pick one area that you want to shift. Now, typically people have been struggling in this area, they see the same patterns over and over, right, they lose weight, they gain weight, they want to save money, but they find themselves spending too much money, you know, they’re not making the money, they don’t have the self worth like there’s can be a lot of different reasons. But when we come into a breakthrough day, the idea is that we are going to focus on exactly what is happening inside you, that’s making your behavior be the way it is. Now, if you’ve been listening to the show for a while, you know that most of our behavior is going to come from our unconscious mind, right, we cannot consciously be thinking about everything we’re doing it, we just would not have the capacity to do that. And so our unconscious really runs most of our behaviors, it runs our reactions, right? It runs, like the habits and patterns of which we do things. And sometimes that can be really beneficial. You know, it’s really helpful that I don’t have to watch like a YouTube video, every time I go to drive my car or brush my teeth, I just inherently know, not inherently I’ve learned, right have graded these patterns that helped me do that. I don’t even have to think about it. In fact, you’ve probably had the situation where you’ve driven somewhere and then you’re like, Oh my god, I don’t even remember driving here. It’s because your subconscious drove you there. So our subconscious serves us. And it tries to be really efficient. And so if you find that you’re reliving these patterns, and you’re re experiencing the same reality, and you’re really just done doing that, then a breakthrough Day is a really good way to get like an intense shift just in in one day.

Now, we did these I was the coach for one woman, and then she was the coach for me. And we both got such an intense shift in how we’re seeing the world. So for me, I was focusing on my relationship to money. I feel like I’ve made a lot of shifts in money in my life. But I knew that there was something that was outstanding, I could see that there were patterns that I had, that weren’t always supporting me and I really was ready to shift those. I felt really open Anything, and I felt really open to seeing some of the patterns that I was having in my current situation and to see where those originated, right. So I was super open to anything that happened. And I think that is a key part to, to having a successful breakthrough day. You know, if I’m living in victim mode, and I’m going like, I didn’t cause this, I didn’t do like it, that’s when it just does not work. And so being at cause, instead of at effect, so being like, I might not have been able to control, you know, how I was shown to deal with money, right or not shown to deal with money, whatever your situation is, I can’t control that, but I can be at cause for my life right now. And so when we can eliminate that victim mentality around it, or that it’s not my fault, you know, what you might not have caused it, but now you have it, and so you have the opportunity to heal it or shift it right. One of the things that I wrote on my Instagram yesterday, it was a quote, by Claudine Rankine, I might be saying that wrong if you know who that is. And it’s don’t put the past in the cupboard of your flesh. I love this so much. And I feel like so many times things happen, and then we internalize it, we we make it ours. And you know, in terms of money, my family when I was growing up, my we didn’t have a ton of money, but we were never struggling for money. So I never heard my parents talk about it. So it was almost as if being shown a relationship to money was never shown to me, it was just sort of like, I think my parents probably thought it was something that kids didn’t have to, like be concerned with, which is great. And it also left me like trying to figure that out on my own and not always, like efficiently, right. So the post that I wrote, says, we can carry so much of our past around with us, it can be hard to build a new future, when our arms are full of struggle and disappointment, and becomes our focus, the heaviness and the weight of carrying around what’s no longer necessary, consumes us, slows us down, keeps us from our purpose here on this journey. When we no longer fear the past, and we learn how to release it, our opportunities expand. And we can see a vision for ourselves that we could not see before, it’s hard to grasp onto something new when our arms are full of something old. And that, to me just sort of summarized how I felt about doing this breakthrough day, right, my arms were full of something that I wasn’t even aware of. But I knew that I had to release it, because it was so hard to grasp on to the future that I that I felt like I could see and, and and taste and have a vision for but I couldn’t quite get over the threshold, right, the hurdle things would happen, it would push me back, and I was really ready to just shift. So I would say the number one thing with any kind of change work is to be open to being responsible for it. And when you can do that, I believe your shifts become so much quicker. Now, like I said, I did a guided meditation twice a day, it just worked out that that you know that worked for me, I was at the training and I could do it before I went to bed and in the morning. But typically I will give someone a task. So before we do a breakthrough day for like a week before, there will be a task and it’s meant to shake the tree, it’s meant to create shifts before we even begin. So once we begin a breakthrough day, there is about an hour and a half of an interview. And this, I would say is the most important part of the breakthrough day. It is really the practitioner listening for how you do your problem,

how you do it,

you know, everybody has experiences problems. Nobody is immune to that. And many people experience the same problem, right? Maybe they spend too much, right? But they do it differently. And how you actually do that problem is very important and helping you create change. So, you know, I love a good affirmation. I love you know, there’s a lot of things that I do guided meditations like I love all that. I think affirmations are great for supporting you when you’ve made a change. I think guided meditations are great for shaking the tree. But when you really want to create change, pulling things out by the roots requires you knowing how you do those roots. And so what we’re listening for in that interview is things like negative emotions, you know, people will say, you know, I just have so much anger about it, or I’m so frustrated by that, right negative emotions, you know, what those are, these can show up in different ways, and they can show up in your language in different ways. And so a really great practitioner is going to be able to recognize that negative emotion. Also, we’re listening for limiting decisions. So you know, I would say, and, and limiting belief, right, so same thing, I would say every decision is limiting, right? I mean, you could, you could argue that every decision is limiting, because you’re, you’re putting a capsule around it, right? You’re saying this is the decision, this is what I think. And it that inherently limits. But sometimes those those things give us structure, it gives us structure to how we view the world and experience the world. It also can limit us in the places where we want to grow. And so an experienced really great practitioner will be able to recognize the limiting decisions that are being said, and that are hidden in your language that are actually slowing you down. And this is super important. Because although it creates the context for your life, it also can create the boundaries. And so being able to recognize what they’re those are, you know, when we’re young, when we’re like zero to seven, that’s when we’re being imprinted. You know, you may have heard me talk about that before just being imprinted. It’s where my brainwave states are at a different vibration, a different level than they are as an adult in a waking state. So from zero to seven, my brainwaves are lower, it’s they are in the same brainwave category that I go into when I go into hypnosis, or sleep. So I want you to just think about if I’m in hypnosis, from zero to seven, I am absorbing everything. There’s no critical factor, there’s nothing, there’s no consciousness that’s going oh, well, Aunt Sally said that people that have money are greedy. But mom and dad said people that have money can do good things

that I believe both of those things,

okay. There’s no critical factor to help me make choices. So zero to seven, everything. I’m just a big tape recorder. So imagine if you’re walking around a big giant tape recorder, and you’re soaking in everything, you’re going to have conflicts, right. And this is when I hear people say like, on one hand, I really want to save money. And on the other hand, I can’t stop buying stuff. Right? On one hand, I really want to build my business and I want to create something new. And on the other hand, you know, when I go to step outside the box, I find myself sabotage,

right? I’ll see this with weight a lot with people,

right? I want to I want to lose weight, like I want to feel great. And on the other hand, like by five o’clock, I’m, I’m just like making choices. Or if I go out with friends, then I blow it all right. There’s an internal conflict there. There’s our subconscious mind wants us to be supported, and it thinks it’s doing things to support us constantly. It’s also really lazy. So it’s just doing what it thinks is right at that moment. And this creates internal conflicts when we can recognize what those are. It is insanely powerful to merge those two things together. Now you might be thinking like they’re opposite, like how do you merge them together, you don’t make one bigger than the other, the way that we merge things together actually opens up way more opportunity for you. When somebody integrates these parts for me, I feel dizzy. It’s It is like all of a sudden, I’m like, Oh, I feel a little dizzy. You feel like this wave come over you. When we were in the class, they we actually used me as a demo for one of them. And I was saying how there’s part of me that really wants to be a vegetarian. And then there’s another part of me that wants to like eat what everybody else is eating right, two different parts. It goes back and forth. And so we just merged those two things together. I felt so dizzy. And then I noticed, you know, I didn’t feel like I had to be a vegetarian. But I noticed I was making choices that were way healthier. Since I’ve been home. It’s insane to me how much different my food choices have been now, I have been a vegetarian now for three days. My husband, I said something to my husband. And I said I’m a vegetarian. He was like you are Since when? And I was like oh today just today. So now it’s been what three, four days, but I noticed my choices are way different. The Healthy version of bed See that wanted to come out some of the time is now being supported. And so there’s no conflict when I’m trying to make a choice. It’s amazing. I know how powerful NLP is. And I have known it for years, because that’s how I found it because I needed it. And it’s been incredible to experience this shift again. So internal conflicts, you know, another thing is, is just a negative anchor. If you think about a song from high school, right, you hear a song you like, Oh my God, this reminds me a 10th grade or whatever. It’s an anchor, you know, sometimes jewelry is an anchor, we see it and we go, Oh, that was my mom’s or, you know, and something like that. You can imagine what an anchor is. And sometimes there are negative anchors. So I’m trying to build, I’m trying to create something new. But I’m constantly being pulled back because I have an anchor that that does not serve me. And so being able to recognize what those are, and we recognize those in that interview, just in in listening, and then there’s a couple others, just ways that we hold ourselves back. So my point in all of this is that any problem that you’re having, it’s really going to come down to about six different options. They fall into about six different categories. And then there are processes to solve this problem that’s showing up.


I had my breakthrough day, and something shifted within me, I can say with confidence, that I am a different person than before I went, it’s difficult to explain if you haven’t been through it. And I think that this was coming for me for a while, right, I’ve been talking about on the show, I felt like something was happening. Something was shifting, and I was really ready to shift. And so I had a profound shift. I worked on money, like I said, and it wasn’t about money. In the end,

it was about other things.

And so when I got back on Monday, I have had a little bit of trouble this week, getting,

like getting myself

I guess getting my head in it, right? Like I was like, I was so tired from just, you know, unending training for for weeks on end. And I felt so different. I didn’t know how to step back into my life. I felt so different. The things that felt normal to me before didn’t feel normal anymore.

And it took me many days to get

to the point where I could identify things that I was doing that no longer felt aligned, and things that were now being called into my awareness. And so I’ve taken some time this week to identify that and to build a plan for what’s next for

me. Now,

next week, I’m not sure if there’ll be a podcast, I might be deep in this transitional work. I think I’m going to keep doing the podcast. I really love the podcast, and I like being here. And there is a shift coming. And so I am going to give myself space to explore how that’s going to show up.


if you’re interested in doing this work, and you’d like to hear a little bit more about it, you can shoot me a message you can you know, you can DM me on social media. I’m just at Betsy Pake, you can also shoot us an email just at support at Betsy pake.com. And we’ll just reply with what the breakthrough day consists of how it works. And you know, the costs and that kind of thing. Now, I’m only going to take, I think maybe three people just because of the time it takes and the energy output to do it. But if that is you and you’re interested, and you’re ready to do this work on yourself, then shoot us a message. And we can help you get set up. So I hope that this was helpful, I hope it kind of gave you a shift in terms of like how you maybe think about problems, or how you think about some of your patterns, and how things have been really showing themselves to you over and over again. I’m excited to work with you if this is you. And if it isn’t you hopefully I’ll see you next week. But if not, I’ll be back the week later,

with a new show and some clear

new clarity. I’m so grateful to be on this journey with you. Thanks for listening, and I’ll see you next week. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit an email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send Do a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.