241: Living In The Now... and other updates - Betsy Pake

241: Living In The Now… and other updates


Today on the show Betsy shares updates and thoughts on moving, becoming conscious, happiness and holidays!


Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an author, speaker, Master hypnotherapist and NLP coach. And I help high achievers rewire for success. If you’re ready for the next level, you’re in the right place. Over the next 30 minutes, I hope to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Thank you for being here today.

All right,

so this episode is a little bit of just the holiday wish, I wanted to give you a couple quick update updates and some thoughts that I’ve been having. And what I kind of see like wrapping up this, you know, 2020, and what I kind of see coming forward for 2021. So if you’ve been following along, first of all, if you’ve been following along, I’m so honored, thank you, thank you,

I love

you all so much. When you know you, you reach out and you share what you’ve learned, or you share the show and introduce the show to more people like it really means a lot to me. And if you’re new here, welcome. This is a super cool community, you know, you’re listening to the show. But I really feel like it’s not just to me, if you go into our Facebook group, you can get there just go to the art of living, big calm, you’ll see like the regulars, I love those people so much. It is just such an awesome group of people that are trying to learn and grow. And honestly, I learned so much from them and get so much insight and amazing feedback. It’s just a really incredible community. So anyway, happy holidays, thank you so much for being here with me on this journey. So I wanted to give you guys a little bit of an update before I kind of dove into some other stuff. But if you’ve been following along, you know, I’ve been moving. So um, you know, a couple months ago, I talked about how we were going to finally put the house on the market. And selling the house has been something that I’ve wanted to do for so long, it has been almost painful. And as I look back on it, I also now wonder is this or was this part of my training here, on my time on this earth, right? of learning and understanding patience, and how to interact with other people and get things done in, you know, when it’s not just me, I’m very independent, I like to make decisions and go, that’s how I operate, like I make decisions, and then I go, and then if another decision needs to be made down the road, then I make the other decision. So in my view of it, there’s no wrong decisions, there’s just decisions, and that every decision is leading to the next decision, and you just keep going, it relieves a lot, because then you’re not worried you’re gonna make a wrong decision. So anyway, in all of that, I have learned that not everybody has the same timeline as me. And you know, my husband wasn’t ready to move. There are lots of moving parts to this, right. But we finally got to the point where we were ready put the house on the market, it’s sold super fast. We are closing in just a few days, we have moved into our new place. So we moved from the suburbs of Atlanta. And if you’ve been listening to the show, you’re like, why didn’t she just moved to the beach? Well, um, one is my husband’s job. He really likes his job. And, you know, I like the benefits. So one of the things that we talked about, and it was in Episode 146, I talked about George kinders book. And it was on the three questions. In fact, as I say this out loud, this would be a really great exercise to do before 2021. For any of you that haven’t done that, in fact, I’m think I’m going to revisit it. But it’s, it’s these three questions that you ask yourself. And the way that they’re written is, was just eye opening. And so when I did that episode, my husband and I both did the questions. And we wrote down these huge lists of things. And one of the things that we both had on our list was that we really wanted someday to live in a city like to be able to live like in a big building where we went down an elevator and walked outside. And for me, there was coffee right there for my husband. There was like a pub, right? Like that was sort of one of the things on that showed

up on

both of our lists when we did that exercise. So when we knew we were ready to sell the house, we sort of revisited some of these thoughts like what do we really want what feels really good. And, you know, I’ve said on the show before, I’ve talked a lot about living at the beach, but I honestly don’t know that that’s where I’d want to live full time. And I know I’ve said that on the show before. I love the beach. I think I might want a second home at the beach. I’m not sure how that unfolds. I just knew that right now. I wanted to stay In Atlanta, I wanted to stay where my husband had a job. I wanted to stay near my daughter who’s you know, in college like that those were things that were important to me. So I could do all of those things and still get some of the adventure that was on those the list

from George kindern. So listen to that episode later, because that is a good one to revisit. So, we moved to the city. And I had wondered, will I miss you know, I moved from almost 5000 square foot house into a not quite 1500 square foot condo. So Will I be like, will I miss things? Will I try and put everything in the kitchen and be like overwhelmed or frustrated? Or, you know, regretful and I have to tell you that I have not missed it for one, like not even a nanosec. Like, there’s not even a portion of me that goes Oh, like I haven’t even thought about like, I don’t even want to think about that house. I’m so happy. I cannot remember the time. And I don’t know if it’s just because I’ve been wanting to leave the house for so many years. But I honestly can’t remember a time where I felt this at peace.

Now, are there a few kinks to work out? Yeah, probably like right now I’m recording this standing up in my closet. Because the place that we live in has these enormous ceilings and it’s the metal like exposed ductwork. Do you know what I’m talking about? And so I think it’s gonna vibrate and reverberate all over the place. So I’m in my closet, and it can feels fun. Even the things that maybe could be seen as being an inconvenience or not ideal. Feel fun to me. So let me back up by saying that when we very first started this process of putting the house on the market, I was really agitated. And I was having reactions to lots of things. And I was having reactions to how things were being presented to me. I mean, I can’t even explain it’s just so many little things, right? Like, anything that happened, I would I would be on edge or agitated by and one afternoon, I got really agitated by something that was happening that really wasn’t a big deal. And I thought I’m my reaction is bigger than the situation. So what is really happening?


you know, just like I teach all of the people that I work with, like, you know, get centered, find yourself, ask yourself the questions get quiet time, I did some time techniques, which is something that I do with clients to go into the past and heal something. And when I did that, I don’t know everything shifted. Now I’ve done a lot of that I’ve done a lot of this work just like you. But something about the way I did it this time changed things. And I have been at such peace and in such peace and presence. Now, I don’t know if it’ll last forever. I hope it does. But things that would have normally upset the applecart you know, in my brain, or gotten me feeling frazzled or upset, just haven’t. It’s been really, really remarkable. And really fun. And I feel like I have been able to say things like if something happens, I’ve been able to communicate what I don’t like and what I would prefer, in a better way. Now, am I doing it perfectly? No, I’m not. I’m not doing it perfectly. But I’m doing it in such a way that I feel whole, I guess is how I would describe it. So here’s what I wanted to share with you guys. So everything so in all of that I felt really good. Great. And if you’ve ever moved, and I’m sure you have, right, so you know, remember when you’ve moved it, there is like a throwing out process of crap, right of stuff that you’ve had. And then it’s so it’s an reevaluating of what’s important. Do I really need this? Do I really want this is this trash is this goodwill, right? So I went through that whole process. So as we’ve moved and packed up, I’ve gone through that whole process. And then when I got into the new place having to put everything away. So here’s what happened. I’ve got this piece. This like being in the present moment that I have really wanted for a long time and never fully realized that I didn’t have until I have had it the last couple weeks. And as everything has been new, and I’ve had to create new patterns I lived in that other house like eight or nine years. So I had like, ways that I did things You know, patterns like, how I would make the coffee and how I would let the dogs out and all of these patterns. So as I’ve been here, I realized that nothing is the same. I mean, I have to rethink how I walk around my bed, I have to rethink about where things are in the kitchen, right, I have to rethink everything. What does that do is it brings you into the present moment, because you can’t be thinking about something dumb that happened a week ago, or something you have to do in the future, if you’re trying to find like, where you put the soup spoons, right? You have to be present, you have to be like in your body. And like, wait, I can’t do this unconsciously anymore. So what is the thing that I always talk about, is that when the unconscious becomes conscious, that is when you’re in the present. And that is where you can create miracles, that’s where you can create change. That’s where everything is right being in the present. So what I have found, and you can do this too, even if you’re not moving, is that if you if you reorganize if you move things so that you are forced to be conscious, right, I was forced to be more conscious and more alert, I can then choose how I want to create my life. And I can choose, what do I want my morning routine to be? What are the first clothes I want to put on? Do I want it to be my bathrobe? Or do I want it to be my workout clothes? Right? What do I want to dive into and remember our actions that is creating who I am, that’s creating my identity. Now, I have talked before and I’ve talked if you’ve been in, in next level, if you’ve been in any of my coaching programs, you know, I talk about the levels of the mind. And at the very, very top is my identity. And then below that is my values and my beliefs, right. And then below that is my potential what I think I’m capable of below that is my environment and my behavior. So if you think of this, like hierarchy, the higher up, I change things, it like trickles down to everything below it. So if I change my values, well, if I change my values, it’s going to change my beliefs, which is going to change what I think my potential is, which is going to change my environment and my behavior, right.

So I’ve used this example before, but if I think I’m an athlete, I’m just going to behave differently, right. But if I don’t think I’m an athlete, and I just try and change my behavior, then I’m going to be it’s going to be a push, right, it’s going to be like pushing things to make things the way that I want. Okay. I have talked about this so much. But what I didn’t realize was how impactful environment can be to spur change with your identity, because it is part of the hierarchy. And honestly, I think I discounted a lot and thought that doesn’t matter. But now I’m realizing that I can use it as leverage to propel what my values are to shift what my beliefs are about myself, because I’m acting differently. The other thing is, it’s making me conscious, when it’s making me conscious, I have a choice. So, you know, Trish from Episode 208, my friend Trish, she always would tell me move 27 things in your house, if you want to create an energetic shift, change 27 things now I’ve changed like five kajillion things. But But if you’re living someplace, and you’re gonna be there for a while, and you’ve been there for a while, you could do that you could change 27 things. And what I would say is change 27 things in one spot. Because depending on how big your house is, if you if you spread it out all over, it might not change your, your your reactions to things right, it might not change the way you’re interacting with the items. Like if I just change if you go into your bathroom, and you change everything in your bathroom, you’re going to have to remain conscious. But if you just change two things in your bathroom, and two things in your living room and two things in your kitchen, like you could still remain unconscious. So I share that with you because that has been a lesson that I have learned, as we’ve been going through this process is that I am getting to choose I’m getting to recreate and it’s leaving open a window for me to be able to become the way that I wanted to be which for whatever reason whether it was real or in my head was something was holding me back right something was keeping me from acting or doing things in the way that I thought I needed or that I needed to do in order to shift my identity in order to change and become the kind of person that I wanted to be. So it has been really rewarding. And really, really fun. So, if you’re on Instagram and you follow along with my stories, I’m probably oversharing. But it feels so fun to me to be able to like go downstairs to a restaurant or go walk yesterday I walked to the grocery store, because there’s like a grocery store in my little community, there’s a Publix there. And it was just so fun to bring bags and walk, and I am moving so much more like my lifestyle has become different, right? So I share all of that just kind of give you an update. And to kind of give you some insight onto how you can shift and how you could do that. Even if you haven’t created like a move, like I have. So what does this all mean, like for the beach and my incessant discussions about the beach? Well, you know, I’m not sure I’m flowing with it, I’m letting it go. Um, I love the beach and love the ocean. And I definitely I’m going to have some part of that in my life. Having less house to take care of not having to deal with the yard and all of those things, definitely opens up the window. For me to be able to go to the beach whenever I want, right in a different way, it’s going to be just so much easier. So I’ve definitely freed up the window for that. And it’s helped me to re kind of re evaluate what it is I really want. You know, I always thought I want this like lazy, beachy town. But now I’m not so sure. Now I’m wondering do I need? Or do I want like a city near an ocean? Right? So clarity, it’s helping me get more clarity, which feels really, really fun. Alright, so let’s talk a little bit about what we’ve kind of closed up here with 2020 and then going into 2021. So, you know, we just went through the conjunctions of Saturn, and Jupiter, if you followed along, or you saw a lot of people talking about the Christmas star, on Facebook or on social media, you may have seen that. One thing that I really want to say about that is, Well, two things I want to say.

One is,

I so believe in divine timing. And I’ve wanted to move for so long that I would get like angry because I wanted to move I wanted to move. But now looking back, I can see the divine timing that we moved in that window, where we’re there was just such big change with the planets, and we were able to like, Can, I don’t know, just create something new, it feels like divine timing. But the thing that I really want to say about that, too, is that you may have felt nothing about any of that, like a lot of people were like, you’re gonna feel a shift is gonna be like an awakening, maybe you felt nothing. And I want to say that just because you felt nothing, or just because you feel like you’re having you’re struggling, tuning into your intuition. Just because you feel like you’re not connected to source like you want to be or you hear other people talk about on social media or whatever, doesn’t mean that you’re not just because you didn’t feel it doesn’t mean you weren’t shifted. Just because you feel like you can’t get this connection that you think you want. Doesn’t mean you don’t have the connection. So I offer that just to say like, sometimes I think we see people talking about stuff when we think I have to do it in that way. But your way will show up, you know, your way will will, it will open up and it’ll show itself to you. So just because you didn’t feel something new in that timeframe, doesn’t mean you didn’t get any benefit. It doesn’t mean you weren’t impacted in some way, it doesn’t mean that you weren’t propelled forward. You were because you were here. Right, because you were part of this. So as we kind of wrap up 2020, which has been such a weird year for everybody. I myself personally am going to revisit those three questions, those George kender, three questions from Episode 146. If you want to learn more about that and get his book, I’m going to revisit that. And I’m going to really think about what I want to carry into 2020. I think 2020 showed us a lot of maybe what what we didn’t want or what was holding us back. I think it was a big magnifier of things for us. And we get to choose I know I say that all the time, but we really get to choose. You’ve got to release whatever it is that you’re holding on to. And you got to just choose something new. And I think especially now after doing this move that changing your environment can help you to choose because it makes you conscious of it. But you can do it lots of different ways. shift things around, set an alarm on your phone, like bring yourself back into consciousness. You know, a lot of you I’m sure have read the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle a book. I read it a couple years ago, and I have it on Audible too. And I remember I got it, I read it and then again Got it on Audible a couple years ago, but I couldn’t listen. Like it didn’t really resonate with me. And then I listened again last month, and it felt so different. So if you’ve never read that book, I offer that as a suggestion, it really helped me think about things and to be really present. I’m gonna re Listen, I’m gonna do it again. Because it just, it was the right time, perhaps for me. So maybe it is for you to one of the other things that we’re doing inside the alchemy collective is we are reading Pam grouts book. And she was on the show to where we talked about the Course in Miracles, her Course in Miracles experiment, if you’ve ever tried to do the Course in Miracles, and you’ve just been overwhelmed, you know, I’ve done Course of Miracles twice, I did it once with Marianne Williamson. And then I’ve read it once on my own. And it’s very dense. And there were some days where I would read it. And I didn’t really know what I was reading. But Pam gives these little stories, which are really helpful to put it into context. So if you’ve ever tried to read read, of course, miracles, get Pam’s book instead, of course, in miracles experiment, if you just read one a day, it’s a year long study. And, you know, that ties right into the power of now, right? it all ties in to being present, it ties into what I was saying about being conscious, and creating your identity from a place of consciousness. And knowing that what we are seeing is what we are creating, which goes back to my whole thing about you are what you focus on, right, because you get to create it. It’s a game. There’s a really great book I read several years ago, and it’s by Florence chauvel. I might be saying that wrong. I’m gonna look it up. Hang on. It’s Florence. scovel Shinn is who it is. So I read it, gosh, several years ago, I’ve read it a couple times, I have the book. And I have the audible book, because it’s one of those ones I like to listen to in the background. But you can get her complete works. It’s all her books. And her books are pretty short. So it’s not long. But one of the books is called the game of life and how to play it. And it’s so powerful. And it’s talking it which ties right into A Course in Miracles, right that we are, this is a game, and we get to play it. And are you having fun, because how should you feel playing a game, you should feel fun, you should feel it should feel like you’re in control of something like the master of your destiny, right? Like you get to choose things. And I think that that could be a really fun read for 2021 as well as we kind of dive into 2021. So So what’s up for 2021? Like for me, I was supposed to go to California on January 2, if you guys remember back in March, I was at a training, right when when COVID hit and I had to leave the training. So I was there like the end of February. And it was like mid March, I ended up leaving. And then I had to redo the whole training because I didn’t finish it. I chose to leave a couple days before they actually chose to cancel it. Because I was in California and I live in Atlanta and it didn’t feel right to be that far away. So I’ve done a couple of the other trainings. Now the training I’m supposed to do in January in California was one I was supposed to take this past year in August. But everything going on in California, it did not feel aligned with my integrity to go.

You know that? California is asking for non essential travel, I could say that that travel is essential because it’s for my business. yet. I felt like for me It fell out of integrity because because it did for whatever reason, I kept thinking about it. And I wanted to go so bad. It was like perfect timing for so many other reasons. But it felt like I wasn’t going to be walking the talk, right? My intuition kept telling me Don’t go Don’t go. And if I ignore that, I can’t listen to my intuition sometimes. And not all of the time. And so I made the really heavy choice of canceling and so I’ve moved back to the August one for 2021. So for me, for January for these first 20 days, I would have been in California. And so I am creating my own version of learning and intensive work on myself for 20 days. And so that’s going to include some courses that I have purchased that I haven’t taken yet. It’s going to include some extra meditations and tuning in. I have a lot of thoughts and things that I want to write. If you are on my text list. If you’re in North America, you can jump on my text list. If you just text live big to 770-343-3409 you can Get my texts, and I only send them like two or three times a week. They are like little lessons of something that I hear when I do my, my talking with my intuition, my journaling with my intuition. And there’s so much more behind that. And so writing a little bit more, I think is going to be part of my 20 days. So if you want to join me choose something for January, that is less of a resolution, and more of a desire. Choose something that doesn’t have strict boundaries, but is more of something that you can step into and become and accomplish in that way. You know, maybe your resolutions aren’t to lose weight, maybe your resolution is to become the kind of person who moves regularly or the kind of person that eats fruit every morning or whatever that is for you. So 20 days, I’m going to work heavily on myself for 20 days and sees see what comes out of that. So to kick that off. Next week on the episode, come to the episode, with a journal, come to the episode with something to write and thoughts. Be ready to stop and start maybe it’s not one that you maybe you listen to it while you’re on your walk. But then you come back and do the work. So next week’s episode, we’re going to kick off 2021 in a different way. So be thinking about what that would mean for you. And then we will dive in next week with a little workshop on the show. All right, thank you so much for being here with me this year. Thank you so much for sharing the show. If this resonated with you please share it with somebody else. If you haven’t joined my text lists join my community there. Have a Happy Happy Holiday be safe be well. Thank you so much for being here and for listening to today’s episode. If you liked it and got something out of it please be sure to share with me by leaving a review over on iTunes. And if you’re not following on social media, I am everywhere at Betsy Pake but most of the time over on Instagram, so follow and comment on my latest post so that we can connect there. I will see you next week. And until then, keep living big


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.