254: Get what you want with way more ease - Betsy Pake

254: Get what you want with way more ease


In this episode Betsy talks about a flowing to what you want in life.





Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an author, speaker, a master hypnotherapist and NLP coach. And I help high achievers rewire for success. If you’re ready for the next level, you’re in the right place. Over the next 30 minutes, I hope to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers, welcome to today’s show. I wasn’t here last week, and I’m gonna tell you why. But before I get into all that, I just wanted to thank everybody so much for the Super kind messages after I had my daughter on the show. So the last episode 253 was with my daughter, olive. And we talked all about her struggle with mental health issues.

And you know, it your messages were so kind and so nice. And I appreciate it, I screenshotted them when they came to me, you know, online or whatever, and sent them to her. And I think she was super pleased that it was so well received. So thank you for that. Um, she also started thinking maybe she wants to write a book. She wants to do it with me, but I will tell you that. I don’t know that I feel like thinking about it that much. I didn’t realize until we did that episode, how, you know how much I had just, like kind of moved on from things, if that makes sense. Doing that episode, and in the week that followed, which isn’t why I didn’t have an episode last week, I’ll explain that.

But in the week that followed, I was I was just thinking so much like I found my thoughts going back to that time and remembering other things. And you know, I, there was a time in all of that where we had a deal that if after, after, if you listen to the episode, this will make sense. But after the whole situation, with the hallucinations in the middle of the night, we had a deal that if something happened in the middle of the night, or any time that she would just come and get me. And so there was a period of time where that happened, like around 3am. And how she would do it, because she would be in distress was just to turn on the bedroom light and scream.

So for a long, long time, I got woken up at 3am with the light on and screaming. And then it got to the point where I would just wake up, like in anticipation. And even now I wake up. And I was hadn’t thought about that and about why I get up at that time and sort of all of the interconnectedness of our lives and the things that we go through. And honestly doing that made me realize there are some things that I’m ready to heal, you know, that I had kind of suppressed or not thought about.

But when they came back up, I was like, Oh, I’m ready to let that go or to heal that. So anyway, I’m grateful for all the tools I have. I’ve done a lot of work on myself over the last couple of weeks just to be able to release that stuff. And to move on. And you know, it was helpful for me too, because one of the things she said, and you guys kind of laughed because I got some messages about it, but about how when she told me about the hallucinations, then we went to Waffle House. And you know, I’ve talked a little bit on the show about how I gained weight when my daughter was sick, and I but I didn’t really know why. I mean, I knew like I know how it works. So I knew why.

But all of a sudden I was like, oh, and and so that I realized that was a pattern of like, we’ll just go eat what got us out of the house. You know what I mean? And so we would do that. And so I started to notice where that pattern is in my life. Now, right? Where else have I adopted that pattern. So the pattern isn’t just getting up at 3am. Still, there’s other patterns that are no longer serving me and aren’t healthy and aren’t bringing me to my highest potential


But they were totally unaware to me before. And so anyway, I’m grateful. I’m grateful that we did that episode so that I could see some of those things in a different light. So anyway, before we get started in the show, I have opened up my NLP practitioner certification. You can find it if you go to my website, there’s lots of places to click to find it, but you can just go to Betsy Pake comm slash certification and you can find out more now now here’s the thing is that I’m only taking 10 people it’s almost full, but I’m only taking 10 people because it’s the first like cohort of it and I want to be able to it’s so it’s way cheaper. You’re gonna be getting the content as I create it. And it’s gonna be really fun, I think because we can make adjustments and see what works.

You get six certifications with it. That’s hypnosis, NLP EFT success coaching, my deep streaming facilitator and time techniques. So there’s six certifications you get. So it’s, it’s really an awesome deal. It’s gonna be fun, the people that are in it are like, awesome. And so if that has been something that’s interested you, you’re gonna want to jump in and grab one of those last spots because they’ll probably be gone pretty soon. All right. So with all that said, last week, I didn’t have a show because I was so sick. I actually, if you follow along on Instagram, you kind of know some of this. But I was so sick,

I thought I had COVID.

Like, I was like, convinced I actually went and got a COVID test, I did not have COVID. But I had a really killer sinus infection. And I don’t know if you get sinus infections, but if you do, you know, then you know, but I get them really bad for some reason. I mean, every time I get a cold or whatever, I get a sinus infection. And so I had to take care of that. But in all of that for like the full week, it was like I started getting sick on my, I don’t know, maybe Friday afternoon, and then I finally got antibiotic in me on Tuesday, the rest of the week. I mean, I could barely do anything. And in all of that, I realized as I started to come out of my haze, how much I’m just rethinking the same thoughts. Now, several years ago, it was like, February maybe of like, 2019, I was super sick, sinus infections, same kind of thing.


I remember coming out of it and realizing this same exact thing. So I think I talked about it on the show. So there’s no avoiding it. It’s what our brains do, right? They say we have between 40 and 90,000 thoughts a day? Most of them, most of them, like 90 95% of them are just rehashing old thoughts, right? So if you’re having like crappy, not productive thoughts, chances are you’re gonna keep having those same thoughts.

And most of them are negative. So I was really noticing that. So. So this is the what I wanted to share with you guys today, because I think this might be helpful. First of all, circling back to the episode with olive. If you listen to that, if you’ve been here for a long time, and you’ve wondered, why doesn’t she move to the beat, like I don’t get why she doesn’t move to the beach. Over the years, I have gotten emails from people, well meaning people, and some emails, so sweet and awesome and nice.

With lots of ideas and some emails like frustrated, you know that I haven’t moved to the beach, do you? But I couldn’t say. So this is what’s happening. Like I couldn’t explain why I couldn’t move to the beach. I wasn’t just not able to figure it out. It’s just like I couldn’t write. I mean, I had this very sick daughter, I couldn’t move her from doctors. And you know what I mean all of this. So now she’s better. And I think I realized when I listened to that episode, how much better she is.

So if you’ve been here for a while, you may know that we sold our house in December, we moved and we’re renting for a year while we figure out what we want to do. And that was really like our way to kind of see how she was doing we moved closer to her so that we could kind of see how much do we really see her How much does she need us like to really get a feeling for it. She’s very, very involved with her dad. Now he lives very close to her like a half a mile from her and they do stuff together all the time. He’s really, really stepped up and taken a really active role in helping her with her college and figuring out our courses and doing all of that stuff. Right. So. So now that things have shifted, and it created space for me. So we sold the house. We live here, this last week, I’m in bed sick.

I’m starting to like think about all these things. I start I’m starting to realize things I need to heal, right. And I’m starting to realize like, okay, I want to go to the beach. So I start getting thirsty for it. And you may have things like this in your life where you’re like, I want this so bad that I know that it’s like aching, is there’s like aching for it. And when I know when that happens that I’m not calling it to me.


You know, when you start dating somebody if you’re super needy, they’re like me, right? Like, I know, if somebody was like that with me, I’d be like, Oh my god, okay, you know, even friendships if they’re, if it’s too much I’m like, it’s there’s a neediness to it. And so it causes you to kind of back off. And that’s the same thing. It’s energetics right? So, as I was laying in bed, ruminating on all these things, I’m like, I’m ready to go to the beach, I start getting thirsty. So, because and you might be like this too, because I’m like this, how is it going to happen?

How can I make this work now? So now I’m like, talking to my husband, like, these are the places you could go with your law degree, like, these are the things we could do. Looking at the map, you know, all these things really pushing. But what happens when you push? Like, anytime there’s like any kind of pushing like that, then there’s pushback, right? That’s why it’s like you can’t move forward, you feel like you’re, you’re stuck, or you’re pushing on something, and then something happens, right?

It’s much easier to be in flow and to if you could imagine, so let’s, let’s pause for a second. Let’s just imagine that I’m like, everything is opened up. I’m really ready to go to the beach. Show me how. And then I notice, like, a friend is doing the long term rental on their condo, or I see a job opening or my husband gets an idea of something he’s interested in that he could do. Do you see what I mean? Like that? Doesn’t that feel more fun than like, how are we going to do this?

We got to figure this out. I don’t know figuring it out. Just sounds like hustle to me. So it, it feels better to actually go with a flow. Isn’t it nicer to just have things come to you? When you go? Oh, my God, I didn’t even know I don’t know how it worked out. It was so perfect, right? So last week, if you’re on my text list, if you’re on my texts list, you got a text from me.

Now, if you’re not on my texts, and you live in North America, you can you can just text me just say hello, or live big to 770-343-3409. Okay, so that’ll get you on my text list. I send out text only like, I’m only like, I don’t know, three times a week, maybe. So on Sunday, I sent out this text, but I want to give you more information. So Sunday, I sat outside I did my deep streaming. And I got this. It’s waiting for you when you’re ready.

Look for the signs when you start to figure it out. You miss signs because you think it has to happen in a specific way. The truth is there are infinite number of ways that it could happen. You focusing so intently on the house, closes the doors for all the other ways that are being shown to you make your job the detective looking for clues. Have fun.

So then I was like, Okay, alright, so that sounds like a little bit more fun. Because right now I can’t I my husband does not do one thing that he does not want to do. Let me just tell you, if, if, if you think I have any influence over him, you’re wrong, right? He does what he wants to do. And so I can’t like force him to find out, you know, I can’t force him to do anything. He’s happy likes his job right now, like, whatever. So if I am going to move myself, right, then I need to stop trying to figure it out.

That’s heavy, right? And I need to move more to look for the signs. So as I was, as I was kind of getting this message, I’m thinking like, okay, like, let me be present. And so I kept asking, and this is what I this is what I got. So I said, Well, what else do I need to know? And, and I write down if you’ve ever heard me, inside the alchemy collective, I did a whole workshop on this deep streaming how to do this.

I’ll tell you about that in a minute. But inside there, I did a whole workshop on how to deep stream. That’s what I do when I get these messages. So I do not filter the message. I just type it out. That’s how I do it. And so I this is what I got. So you might think it sounds a little funny. It’s like a conversation going back and forth. So why do you push away the messages you need to need to hear the lessons being shown to you are right for your path at this point in your journey, when you push them away or miss them completely because your attention is elsewhere.

It’s not in the present moment, the lessons need to come around. And then the lessons need to come around first full circle. And honestly that slows you down from what you think is time on your timeline. Sometimes when I write it down, it doesn’t totally make sense. But I just write what’s coming. Again, it’s about being present in the moment. And although you talk about it, you aren’t doing it as much as you should right now. So I said Well, how do I be present? Right? Like, how do I do that?

Like Tell me what I’m doing wrong? Because I’m thinking I’m being present. I mean, my God I was laying there like totally pressing And when I was sick all week, right, but I wasn’t being present, I was totally being in the past, and I was being in the future. So I asked, How do I be present. And I heard think about where you are and what you’re doing, redirect your mind back to your present when it wanders to someplace in the past, or the future. Look for things that are satisfactory in the moment.

It feel your body where it is how it feels in the moment, take a deep breath, smell what is right here to smell, hear what is right here to listen to loosen your jaw, try and allow that voice in your head to quiet now with the chatter. And so I was like, Okay, so I’m just going to be present. So that I heard what you want the beach, the ocean, the freedom, the smells, all of that feels so needy, as if you have a fear that even if you figure it out, it won’t be available to you. And that’s not true.

Life is waiting for you when you’re ready. But you need to be on the lookout for the signs. And when you start to figure it out, you miss signs because you think it has to happen in a specific way. Right? That’s the part that I texted out, relax and know that it’s happening. Make your job the detective of looking for clues. So this is what I decided for the week. So I popped into the alchemy collective, I went live. And I was like, okay, friends, this is what we’re gonna do. I was like, for a week, I’m going to just be present, I’m going to just remind myself, bring myself back, bring myself back, bring myself back back into the moment and go, what’s happening right now in this moment? What is it that I’m feeling? What are the nudges? Right? Bring my ground myself. And when I say ground myself, it’s really about like feeling myself feeling my body, hearing the sounds that are happening, like being in this moment, physically, right, because I’m in a physical body.

So be here physically feel my body. So I was like, for a week, I’m gonna do that. And I’m just gonna look, I’m just gonna follow little nudges. And see where that leads me. so different from like, looking for signs I’m not looking for like 1111. Like, I’m not doing that I’m noticing where I need, where those nudges are. Okay, so I’m going to tell you a little quick little story about one nudge that I have to give you an example. Now, later that day, that was Sunday, when I went live in the alchemy collective and shared that and a lot of other people are doing it this week, too. It’s been really fun. So I said to my husband, like we are here. And again, I’m still like needy, I want to get to the beach.

So I’m like, if we’re going to be here, then let’s be here. But if we’re going to go to the beach, let’s go to the beach, like I want to get community like I want to become part of the community, I want to have friends. You know, like I want to have friends that live near me. And what I said was like, I want friends that live like in my building, you know, I wanted friends I could go to the gym with I want friends, I go downstairs and get food with like I want, like I want friends in my building, you know. And I was being a little dramatic because I was still sick and tired. And you know, you want what you want. So anyway, he listened to me. And I was just like, I’m ready to be where we’re going to be, you know that feeling like when you’re in limbo. So anyway, on with the week, I’m just following the nudges.

I’m trying to become aware of what my body does, where it constricts how it happens. And I get a few little things, you know, I click on a Reddit link. And that brings me to something else. That’s an ocean II thing, like, you know, so I’m like, Okay, so this is It’s fun. It’s fun, because I’m noticing these things, these nudges. And then I went to the Mercedes Benz stadium now. I’m going to preface this part of the story with

I chose to get the COVID shot now, if you choose not to or you think that’s crazy, I completely respect that. So this story isn’t about getting the coach. I’m not suggesting you get the COVID shot, I suggest you talk to your doctor and decide. I got I got so many messages from people that were upset that I got the shot, but the story isn’t about the shot. But I have to tell you the story. I have to tell you that I got the shot to tell you the story. Okay. So I decided for me it was right to get the shot. If it makes you if you’re not into the shot might make you feel better to go.

My husband didn’t get it. Yeah, I don’t know if he will, again. I cannot make him do anything. So, so I went and got my shot. So it was at the Mercedes Benz stadium. There’s probably like 1000 people there. I mean, they were moving people through right like they had. I mean, it was a huge it was run by the National Guard, like there was tons of people going through. And so I got through and at the end And after I got the shot they have you sit and wait for 15 minutes.

And it was like in the walkways where everything was set up, right. So I’m in the walkway, and then they’re they have all these chairs, individual chairs, you know, set up 10 feet apart or whatever. And they were like, you can take a seat or you can go sit in the stadium seats. But there’s all these empty chairs right there. So I was like, well, I’ll sit here because there’s empty chairs. But something in my body said, don’t, don’t sit here. Like it didn’t feel fun. I was like, it’d be more fun to sit in the stadium seats.

So I don’t know, I just like walked up to a chair and then weirdly turned around and walk to the stadium seats, because that’s the nudge I got. And so that’s what I did. Anyway, I sat there for a minute. I took a picture, which was the, which I shouldn’t have done, then posted it on Instagram. And then a man came and asked if he could sit in the seat inside, right. So there, the seats had flags if you could go so I stood up, he went into his seat, a few seats down. And we started chit chatting. He was super duper nice, really fun. And we were just talking about all the things and you know, getting our shot, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, about life. Anyway, 15 minutes were up, I got up and he was like, I’m going to go to I feel fine. We start going down the escalator and he said to me, I need to find where the Uber is in this mess, like where do I go to pick up my Uber?

And I said, Oh, you took an Uber? A lot of people do in the city, right? And he was like, Yeah, and I said, Where do you live? And he said Brookhaven, and that’s an area of town that I live in. So I was thinking like, maybe I can just drop him off. You know, he was super nice. And he wasn’t asking me for a ride. So I felt like, I don’t know, I felt safe. So I said, I live in Brookhaven and he said, Oh, my God, and I said, Where do you live? And he told me his address.

And it’s my address. He lives two apartments up from me. So I followed that nudge. But remember, I had said to my husband, I want somebody that lives in the village, a couple doors down and wants to do stuff and wants to go downstairs and eat. Right? And he was like, do you ever go to that restaurant downstairs? Like it’s my favorite? I go down there like four times a week. Now I was like, Oh my gosh, that is so so funny. So

he was lovely. I would love to have a woman, young girl with so I was I had to redefine my request to the universe. I was not specific when I said what I wanted, right? So um, but I have the power right of listening to those nudges because there was like 1000 people there.

And like, oh, does that? Does it? Would he would Is he there? Would I have noticed him? Like what I’ve ever run into him if I had sat in those other seats where everything in me was saying don’t sit there. Don’t sit there. There’s like magical things happening trying to transpire to help you to get what you want. But we push it away because we go how how how? If I had been home and going like how could I meet somebody my building? Like how can I meet find a friend? Right?

Like it would have been weird I would have been like a weirdo like knocking on people’s doors or something. But I allowed it to just flow. So I share that with you because there’s a way to bring everything that you want when you stay present and you notice what’s happening in your body and you follow it even if you don’t get an outcome like that.

Because I made lots of little shifts and choices this week that didn’t get me an outcome that I was looking for. Yet one thing leads to another leads to another leads to another and we just don’t know when that first shift was made. Right. So if you are interested in in watching that deep streaming workshop and you want to jump into the alchemy collective, actually, if you’re listening to this on Thursday or Friday morning, Episode Two oh wait was with my friend Trish.

If you guys remember that was a really popular episode. She is doing this month’s workshop, and it is tomorrow afternoon. So if you want to jump into the alchemy collective, I’ll open it up for 24 hours if you want to jump in there. It’s Betsy Pake comm slash alchemy collective. And there’s lots of links on my website too, but join us in there, it’s my membership, there’s loads of awesome stuff in there. Plus the community is awesome and the people are awesome.

And it’s just I love what we’ve created there. So if you’re so inclined, feel free to join us. If you want to get certified in NLP bush before the show, be sure to join us in that before that first cohort sells out. I think that’s going to be really great group and Watch your little nudges of where you need to move so that you can create the thing that you really want to create and allow it to flow to you. And knows knows what will happen in the future when my lease is out here. I’ll keep you posted. Alright everyone have an awesome weekend. I

will see you soon.

Thank you so much for being here and for listening to today’s episode. If you liked it and got something out of it, please be sure to share with me by leaving a review over on iTunes. And if you’re not following on social media, I am everywhere at Betsy Pake but most of the time over on Instagram, so follow and comment on my latest post so that we can connect there. I will see you next week. And until then, keep living big


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.