I’m SO excited to be back from my mini- hiatus and grateful for the time to reflect, heal, and starting DREAMING BIG!
And that’s what I want to talk with you about today.
The links for what I talk about today:
Book: Think like a warrior: https://amzn.to/2UvNL4l
The Alchemy Institute – coaches training: www.TheAlchemyInstitute.co
The Alchemy Collective: www.betsypake.com/alchemycollective
HBO Special on Miracle on Ice: (Youtube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDBuPpalXI4
Welcome to The Art of Living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an author, a speaker, a master coach, and trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I help people create lives they’re excited about over the next 30 minutes, I hope to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi. Hi, welcome to the show today, Episode 259. I’m really happy to be back after my little mini hiatus. Thank you for joining me, thank you for coming back. And being here with me today. If you’re new here, I promise I’m going to get into the content here in just a minute. But I wanted to just say thank you for giving me this little bit of space. You know, I think if you’ve listened to the show for a while, and then you heard my episode where I said, I’m going to take a little mini hiatus, you probably kind of got it, you know, like you probably sort of understood, it had been a, it had been sort of a challenging couple months. And I really needed to not have to be thinking about doing it, you know, during the podcast. So I appreciated the break so much. And I felt really ready to come back. You know, last week, I started feeling like, Oh, I’m ready to start thinking about about this, again, I did a lot of creating this past month. So it would have been hard, even on the best of months to be able to also create and record the podcast. But considering just how my last few months had been, it was just like a really, really nice break. You know, so many times I’ve done the show for like four and a half years now. And as I move around my life, I’m always sort of thinking in the background of like, Oh, I want to remember that thought or I want to share something about that, which is really good. It’s become part of how I think. And it was getting to feel like a bit, it was getting to feel sort of like pressure, you know, and especially I had so many things on my agenda for the month of June and, you know, just dealing with life in general. So it’s been a really incredible past month. And so if you’ve been here for a little while, I have a couple of fun things to share that you may or may not know. So, um, I will tell you that I’m coming up now on three months since my dog died. I know, I know. But if I if you’ve ever had a dog dive in, you’re like, Oh, I get it, I’m starting to feel better. Like I’m starting to have some days where I don’t actually, like just cry a little bit. Like, it’s not like I’ve been bawling my head off. But you know, sometimes in the morning, I would walk my other dog, my husband’s dog Henry, and I would think you know, about her or whatever. And it would make me feel a little emotional. So I’m feeling a lot better. I’m feeling like, I’m sort of getting like a new routine in place. And there are a lot of things that are easier. You know, when you have an older dog that’s sick, and you have to give them a lot of medicine and be thinking about them and all that stuff. It is a lot of work. So anyway, so that has been a relief. I’m feeling better. It gets better, things get better. And I suppose like that’s really the way it is with everything, right? If you listen to the episode that I did with my daughter, I’m almost positive, we talked about it. If we didn’t talk about this, it’s because she didn’t want to jinx it. But she is wanting to get into scad since she was a little kid scad is the Savannah College of Art and Design. And she got in she got in we just found out last week. So that’s a really, really big deal. So I wanted to give that update. I mean, it feels in my world, like all the things that I used to dream about happening, are all happening. It’s all coming together. And it just like we always hear and we always talk about, but everything, everything that I wanted is all of the sudden coming together. And it when I look back on the path, it’s not a path I ever, ever could have figured out like put together or you know, orchestrated on my own and so it’s just a really good reminder to just release the how and just allow things to go however they need to go you know. So over this past month in June, I have been recording all of the training and I still am recording training for the alchemy Institute, which is my certification. So this is, you know, the work that I do LP success, coaching, hypnotherapy, time techniques, all of that stuff. I am, I am certifying people to be able to also be coaches, and it has been so fun, it’s also been so challenging. I’m getting a new appreciation for teachers and how much prep goes into like every hour that you teach, it’s like hours of prep, I wasn’t expecting that. I think I know the material. So well, I thought, this will be so simple. But it’s been a lot of learning. And it’s been really great. I had 10 people that joined the program to go through it with me. And honestly, if it wasn’t for them, I don’t know, I think I probably would have been like, forget it. It’s like having them in there has been so great. And they’re giving me some good feedback, they seem like they’re really loving it. And it’s just been really like a joy to have that really special group in there. If you have thought at all, in any way about becoming a coach, you’re gonna want to get on our mailing list on our on the waitlist for it, here’s why. On July 12, we are going to open again for another small group, and there’s the on the very first day that we’re open, there’s going to be something really special and unique. So if you have ever thought about it, just get on the list, so you can find out what it is. So you have the option, you know, so you can go to my website. And you can, you can click on the alchemy Institute, or you can go to the alchemy Institute, the alchemy institute.co. So let’s just see Oh, so alright. So wanted to tell you about that. But this month, so I’ve been doing all the recordings, but I’ve also been going live in my facebook group. So on Mondays, I have been doing Oracle card polls, you know, I created my expansion Oracle card deck. And so I thought it would be fun over the summer to go in and do Oracle card polls, that’s actually been so fun. And it’s like a fun group. And we pull cards for like, maybe 30 minutes or so on Monday mornings. And then on Friday mornings, I’ve actually been doing some coaching. Now, if you’re not, if you’re on Facebook, you can go, you can just type in, type in the art of living big.com, that’ll put you right into the Facebook group. But also, if you’re just not on Facebook, not the Oracle card polls, but the coaching on Fridays, I call it coffee and coaching that we are putting on to my YouTube channel. So you can find all that on my website. But I just wanted to let you guys know that we’re going to be doing it for a few more weeks or a few more weeks. We’re doing it through the end of July. So if you want to jump in there, I may make some of those episodes like I might put them together to make a podcast because some of the information was really good actionable stuff, you know, we have I’ve had a new way that I’m putting together all of my goals for the year and I really mapped out stuff on well let me back up. Let me go back. I’m getting ahead of myself. Like at the very end of June, all of a sudden, I was like, Oh my god, it’s the end of June, like I was at my training in January for the whole month of January in California. So I felt like my year didn’t really start right. And then in February, you know, I was getting back into the hang of it. We had just moved, we sold our house and moved and then March live in my life, then Miley died. And then I felt like like things kind of got put on hold all of a sudden, at the end of June. I was like, wait a minute, like, wait a minute. At the end of the year. I want to be able to say like I did these things. And right now I feel like I would say like, I mean, I did some fun things. I did some good things. But I feel like what I would say was like my dog died. And like I got a bit overwhelmed and paralyzed. And that’s not how I wanted it to go down. And I felt like all of a sudden, I could see like there is still plenty of time to create something to build something new. And so I got really thinking and I mapped out a whole plan of what I wanted what would make this what would make it go like, oh my god 2021 was insane. Right? That’s what I wanted 2021 it was insane. Now this is gonna get into what I want to talk about today. And so I just was like, I’m gonna map this out. And so one of the things that I teach in success coaching is how to take a client and get what we call it. We call it an outcome specification in NLP but we create Like this whole outcome, this whole vision, right a goal of what it is you really want. And then there is a methodical way that we break it down, we break it down and break it down into like daily steps. So I was like, I am going to come up with something crazy. And then I’m going to break it down. And I’m going to get so hyper focused on that, that everything else is going to just be like a blur, you know what I mean? Like everything I’m just going to be so hyper focused on, on these amazing things that I’m working towards. I don’t want to just find like the easiest flowy best way to do it. I’m actually going to be teaching how I did this inside this month inside the alchemy collective, which is my membership. I’m going to do this with everybody because it was so powerful, and you know how things come to you. So like, you create that. And then you have this plan. And this goal, and I mean, I have worksheets I have, I have a clipboard, y’all clipboard with like my things and like my action plan for every week and like, like it is in my face, because I don’t want to forget. And what I also want to do is make sure my unconscious mind knows this is so important. You know how sometimes there’s something in your life that’s so important that you continue to focus on it. And every time you do something, you think about it, and something happens, and you wonder if it’s related, or if it’s a sign, it’s because your unconscious mind is like scanning, you know, and everything it’s seeing is through the lens of this is the thing that I want. And you know, sometimes I think that happens when something bad happens. You know, I mean, someone we love gets hurt, or is is suffering, and then we see everything through that lens. But we can create that lens of like a really happy lens, a lens of like, I’m so motivated, I remember times where I felt really motivated. You probably have times in your life like that, too, right? Like, if you just like scan over your whole life right now you’re like, Oh, those one or two things really stick out to me as like, I was having so much fun. And I had a goal, you know, like I was I had a mission, I was moving towards something. And it felt so fun. And it made me feel like alive, you know. And that’s what I wanted to create, because I kind of hadn’t felt alive in a couple of months. And so I have gotten this hyper focus. And as I have things have started to come into my awareness, because I’m reviewing it and thinking about it so much. And it’s on my clipboard right here, right? So every day I’m looking at it. And just like when things happening, come into your awareness. I had a book come into my awareness. The book is called. It’s called think like a warrior, the five inner beliefs that make you unstoppable. It’s got it’s by a guy named Deron. Donnelly. And he has like a whole series. This is the first one in the series. And it’s all on, he calls it sports for the soul. So like the cover of this book has like a football helmet on it, you know, like, somebody’s raising their football helmet into the air. And I love physical goals. And when I look back over my life, and I’m like, Oh, those were the things where I was really focused. It really is the times where I had like a physical goal, you know, I was gonna run a marathon. And I ran the marathon. It just, it took me like, it took me like all friggin day. The people that finished the marathon in like two hours. They’re like, they’re so amazing. And I’m like, No, no, no, no, it took me five and a half hours. Like, I’m amazing. I ran for five and a half hours, they only had to run for two, but I’m getting off the point. So my point is the times where I think and when I opened my CrossFit gym, one of the things I really wanted to instill in others was the idea that when we can push ourselves physically, we can see it, you know, 10 pounds is 10 pounds. You know, that quote by Henry Rollins, like 200 pounds is always 200 pounds. When I walk up to the bar to the barbell. It’s 200 pounds yesterday, it’s 200 pounds today, I can measure myself against it. Were so many of our other goals are things that we want. Don’t have such a hard and fast measurement. Right? I’m trying to make my relationship better. Well, is it better today or is it better yesterday? How am I showing up today it’s sort of subjective, right? But when I have a physical goal that’s necessary. Yep, subjective, I can see it right, I can see, well, I can lift more yesterday today than I could yesterday, or in the case of this book, you know, like a score a score of a game or a football game or a sporting event. And so this book came into my awareness. And I read it in a day, I’m not even kidding. It was over the long weekend, Fourth of July weekend, and, and it was just so good. It’s it’s a parable. You know, it’s a story. And it’s a story about a young football coach who has a lot of success, and then doesn’t. And sort of like the ghost of Christmas Past, you know, that, that Christmas story or whatever it’s called, where, where the guy meets, like all the versions of him in this book, this coach meets five really incredible coaches from the past. So he meets john wooden, which, if you’ve ever listened to my episode, number 44. With Neville Johnson, we did it on the pyramid of success, which is john Wooden’s pyramid of success. So I’ve been a john wooden fan. I like the pyramid of success. So he meets john wooden, Buck O’Neil, her Brooks, Bear, Brian and Vince Lombardi. And so they teach this guy in the book, Chris, how to think like a warrior. So I’m going to tell you what, you got to read the book, because I’m telling you, it’ll make so much more so it’ll move into your unconscious mind, right? So our unconscious mind really loves metaphor, it loves story. It allows my, my conscious brain, the part of my brain that goes like, critical factor, right? There’s a critical factor, it says, I’m going to reject that. And I’ll accept that, and I’ll reject this. And so when you go to say, like, I’m, I like the number one thing here. The first lesson is I focus only on the things I have total control over my effort and my attitude. Now, when I say that, you might be like, Well, yeah, of course. But when my unconscious mind hears the story, then my unconscious mind except that in a different way. Does that make sense? So when I have a whole story behind that, so I’m going to tell you what the five things are, but I’m telling you, it won’t matter as much as if when you go and you read the book, okay. And if you have Kindle, I’m good, have Kindle Unlimited, you can get it free. For like, 30 days, if you go to, you know what I’m talking about, you go to Amazon, you get your Kindle unlimited free, they give you like a free 30 days, I think all of his books are on there. So you could literally read them all for free. I’m reading all the other ones now. So Alright, so number one is I focus only on the things that I have total control over my effort, and my attitude. Number two, I love what I do. And I attack each day with joy and enthusiasm. I love that one. Right Wilds do it if it’s not going to be with joy and enthusiasm. And when I think about like, the times where I had the best goals where I had, like things that I achieved that felt so fun, you know, when I was training for the Pan American Games, and I was in my garage training every day, every day. I was it was a joy to be out there. Like really? And so I think that’s what made the difference. Do you know what I mean? We get out of the result of what we’re working towards, includes what we put in as we did it. So if you’re building something, and it is a struggle, when you get it, it will be a struggle. If you build it and as joyful, in the end, it’s going to be joyful. Alright, number three, I dream big. And I ignore the naysayers. This is actually my favorite one. And I’m going to talk about why. Number four was, I am relentless, and I will never give up on my dreams. Never is all in caps. And number five was I choose faith over fear. Okay, so you got to read the book so you can get all the story behind. It was so incredible, and just really, really good. But I realized that now that my daughter’s big dream, right of going to scad that’s all coming true. like everything’s working out for her. Yeah, she said to me the other day, I can’t believe how happy I am. Like I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my life. You know how cool that is like if you’ve listened To the episode that I did with my daughter, then maybe it gives you some perspective of like, how cool that is like, I mean, it’s like the greatest thing I’ve ever heard in my life, you know? She’s gonna sketch she’s got friends, she’s like doing stuff. So her big dream is coming true. Now, we all have dreams and big things we want. But when I was looking at the rest of my year, and I was like, what could be really big for me? Like, I wanted to pick something that would be so big, that there would be no doubt that it happened because I did this work. Right, I wanted to pick something that was so out of the realm of possibility that at the end of the year, I would go Holy smokes, like I totally created that. And so I have created this big huge dream. Now the coach in the book that says, I dream big. And I ignore the naysayers. Now, I’m lucky I don’t have a lot of naysayers in my life. But I am a naysayer, sometimes in my life, right? You probably are in your life, too. I don’t have a lot of people that say stuff to me. Like, that’s not going to happen. But I have a lot of me that says that at times. Right? So I needed to get really clear with that. And like really have a conversation with that voice. Who is that voice? You know, is it even me? What is that coming from? Is that coming from some idea of what I think is possible because of what someone else told me? Or because of what I saw? Because is it only possible because I’ve seen it? Like, what if I’ve never seen this big huge dream that I want to do? I’m sure someone has done it. But what if I’ve never seen it, which I’m not aware of someone doing it? So the coach that taught that particular lesson was her Brooks. Now, her Brooks was the coach that coached the Miracle on ice hockey team in 1980. So I’m going to guess that if you’re listening here, you probably remember that or have heard of it, Disney made a movie about it called miracle miracles, miracle miracle, just miracle It was called. Um, so let me jump back to 1980. So I grew up in Vermont, and the town that I lived in, is literally they call it hockey town USA. Everybody played all the kids played hockey at that time. They didn’t have women’s hockey they do now. So all the boys played hockey, but I went skating every Sunday at the skating rink and all the hockey players. You know, like I knew all that. I mean, everybody played hockey, you know. So hockey was a big deal. You know how in the south, everybody goes to the football games. We went to the football game for our high school too. But it was the hockey games. Our school was like the state champs like every year, you know, like it was a big thing. And so I remember that game when USA played, the USSR. Now it was in Lake Placid, New York, which wasn’t far from where I lived, it was just over the lake. And so I mean, I just remember it was a big deal. Everybody was talking about it, because the Olympics was so close. I was like nine, you know, so it was at that age where I was like, aware of these kinds of things and getting excited about stuff. Anyway, I remember when the USA one now, I’ll give you the quick backstory, because you may already know this. So I don’t want to bore you. But who knows, maybe you’d like a recap anyway. So so the USSR team was was was athletes that should have been professional athletes, but their profession was playing for the USSR. So they wanted to win. And they won, like all the time, because they were basically a professional team. So you know, it was the Cold War, there was a lot of stuff going on politically, there was just a lot of fear in the world and the fear in the United States and what was happening and, and a lot of animosity, right. And so when the Olympics at that time, you know, we didn’t have professionals playing in the Olympics, they didn’t have the dream teams and all that stuff. So the kids that were playing in the Olympics for the US, were just like kids, just like college kids that played hockey, you know, that just like loved hockey and played hockey, and then they were going up against this rival, which was like our country’s rival, which was like, so much stuff happening politically and then just in the world in general. And then we had to play them and they were basically like professional adults that were bred been playing hockey their whole life and got paid to play hockey. So it was like this huge deal now. Nobody thought they were gonna win. Like, nobody thought they were gonna win that game. Now we all know they won that game, but they played USSR, like 14 days before that game. So they played them in like a scrimmage before the Olympics started. And they got killed, like crushed. The score was like insane, right? So nobody thought they were gonna win. But her Brooks thought that they could. And he had this big dream. And he thought, I’m not gonna listen to all the people that say that they can’t. Because I know that there’s like a small chance that they could. And so he wanted to instill that in them. And he would say things like, you know, nine times out of 10, they’re going to win, but there’s going to be that one time, they’re not going to win. And he tried to, like install this doubt that this team was as great as everybody said, they were. Right. So you have this big dream, whatever that is for you. And you find the places that make it seem impossible. And you find the holes in that theory. Is it really impossible? Somebody’s got to beat that team. Right? Someone’s got to do it. Why not? Why not them? Right. So when you have your dream when you have your big, huge thing, one of the things that I took away from the book, and then I became obsessed, y’all all weekend, I watched Miracle on Disney, I got Disney watched miracle. And then there’s some really good documentaries on YouTube. There’s an HBO documentary on YouTube, that’s really good. It’s worth your time. It’s really good. And so, you know, when when we look at, like, what would be so huge like, like, if we really are connected? If we really are pieces of universe come down to have this experience, then I’m the one putting my limits on me. So what if I set like a crazy goal? I don’t know. Why not? Like why not pick something that’s so big that if you told anybody, they’d be like, what? No. Why not? Because who decided? What? No. Who decides that? Like, who is they that decided. And so her Brooks decided that he wanted to beat them. It wasn’t even the it wasn’t even for the gold medal. It was before that I had to beat Finland to get the gold medal. It was so important that he was finding all the different ways that he could make the players think that it was totally possible. So when you have a big, huge goal, I think it’s important to look at why you think it won’t work. And then Who told you that? And are they even, right? And how can you break the holes, pop holes in that? Right? So you know, this, so the story goes on, they, they they they win, and it’s a dramatic countdown, they hold, the score ends up being Four, three, and they hold USSR off for about 10 minutes. So nobody scores a goal in like 10 minutes, which is a long time in a sporting event, right. And as the countdown gets, you know, more and more, like, the tension of it is building, you know, and people are chanting, and people are like counting down, like, there’s two minutes you can hear in the voice of Al Michaels, the the announcer you know, getting like more and more intense, you know, as like counting down two minutes, you know, a minute, 30 seconds. And then once it gets to like under a minute like the crowds going insane. Like it’s worth your time to watch. Even if you just watch like this little bit, crowds going insane. And they’re just trying to keep the puck away from USSR so that they can’t score, right. So they’re just, it’s not like some last minute score helped them win the game. It was a concentrated effort over an extended period of time to focus on the one thing, just the one thing that they had to do, right? They weren’t thinking about anything. I promise you. They weren’t thinking about anything other than that moment. Where’s the puck, where’s the puck? Where’s the puck, right? Where’s the goal? Where’s the goal? Where’s the goal? And so as the timer starts counting down and calming down, like the crowds getting louder and louder and then they’re starting to count down, you know, 30 seconds 2928 and write it like five seconds. Our Michael says, Do you believe in miracles and then the buzzer goes off. It’s very dramatic and really intense and so fun and emotional in Mexico like yeah, like I believe in miracles. So what’s your miracle? What could you do with something so big that if you told people they would be like no way or something so big that you’d be like no way but so big that you would know that you did it because you were intentional because you kept your focus because you were present because you popped the holes in the part of you that thought you couldn’t what would that be? We have six months left this year 2021 could be the year the year that you do it the year that you create it the year that you have it the year that you get the clarity the year that you do the thing what is it for you? I know what it is for me? And I have a big dream. And I’m gonna ignore the naysayers even if the naysayers me. So I leave you with that. Something to think about maybe some homework, read the book. It’s so good. Read the book. Watch the YouTube video, get inspired. See how you can pull the excitement from that into your own life and get excited about your life again. Now, if you want to join me and you would like to be a coach some day, be sure to jump on our waitlist jump into the alchemy Institute does SEO because there’s going to be something really good and it’s so good and so fun. You’re going to want to be part of it. And the very least jump into the alchemy collective join us in the membership where you can get your goals all set up like I did. You can find that on my website at Betsy Pake calm. Thanks for being here with me. Thanks for coming back. Thanks for being here after my little hiatus. I appreciate it so much. I love you so much and I’ll see you next week. Thank you so much for being here and for listening to today’s episode. If you liked it and got something out of it please be sure to share with me by leaving a review over on iTunes. And if you’re not following on social media, I am everywhere at Betsy Pake but most of the time over on Instagram, so follow and comment on my latest post so that we can connect there. I will see you next week. And until then, keep living big