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In today’s episode, Betsy shares some thoughts on 2022, what she’s been up to and how you can think about the year ahead.
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Welcome, welcome. Welcome to the show today. So today’s a coffee talk episode. I’m having tea though, I’m having peppermint tea. So just a little bit different. No coffee have already been caffeinated. There’s so many things like little things that I’ve just wanted to tell you. And as we head into this next few weeks, I have a lot of really, really great interviews lined up with some really awesome people coming on the show that I want to share with you. And although I’m so excited about that, I was like, I have all these little things I need to tell people. So I need to do this episode so that we can just talk. So if you’re new here, basically, this is like if we met up at Starbucks, and I’m just gonna tell you some stuff that I think that I think you might like to know. So okay, so have you been? I was on. I was on a podcast recently. It was called the wrong advice podcast. And I actually I loved the guy that interviewed me he was so easy to talk to, and really, really fun. But at the end, he did this like, rapid fire thing, you know, where basically he’d ask you questions, and you have to answer with the first thing that comes to mind. And I I actually really love stuff like that, because that’s your unconscious mind. Right? That’s how you speak to your unconscious mind. Like, what comes up first, before your conscious mind, like has this chance to filter it all out? Right and make it look good, you know, or look right for the show. And so he asked me stuff like, What’s your favorite food and I was like pinto beans. Literally. I used to really love pinto beans, but like pinto beans is not something. But apparently, my unconscious mind is a little nostalgic for pinto beans. But one of the things he said is what’s your favorite movie? And I was like serendipity. Have you guys seen that movie? So here’s why I felt like it was important to tell you this before the end of the year because serendipity is like the greatest holiday movie, although my husband says it’s not a holiday movie, but it is it’s set at holiday time. So it is. And it’s with John CUSEC. And it’s just the cutest movie ever. But it’s on Netflix, but overdue only till the end of the year. So I watched it last night and it was so good. And even though I’m one of those people, I don’t know, maybe you’re like this to like, oh, oh, watch a movie. And I will like totally love it. Like totally love it. But after I can’t tell you anything about it. It’s like it just leaves my brain. So every time I watch, it’s like watching for the very first time, which is like thrilling and fun. So I watched it last night. And I mean all the things that were happening. I was like, Oh my God. And Craig was here. And he was like, Why are you surprised? Like you’ve seen this movie so many times. But I was truly shocked and amazed it was so good. So watch some serendipity on Netflix before the end of the year. And listen to that podcast, it’s the wrong advice podcast, it’s called, you know, the other thing that came out in that is that, um, you know, it was sort of there. So he was basically like asking, like, how do you get to the place in your life? You know, like, how do you how do people come to the place where they are. So he sort of wanted like a overview of your life. And I don’t know if you remember this show, or you remember hearing about the show, but it was called This Is Your Life. And they would like play clips of people so that the people on the show would just be watching. And it would give them like this overview of their life and people’s responses to their life and all this stuff. Anyway, I felt a little bit like oh my god, we’re like review. We’re, we’re reviewing my life. But one of the things that he asked me was about, you know, specifically how I got doing this work like it because because I do think it’s, I mean, that’s not something everybody is like obsessed with becoming an expert on the subconscious mind, right? Like, I think there’s interest but I don’t know that everybody chooses Well, whatever people choose, like not everybody chooses what everybody chooses, right. So I Why did I choose this? Like, how did this happened? And one of the things that he asked me was about when I started talking, I offered the story about my daughter. Now if you’ve been here for a while you may have you’ve heard me talk about this over the years. And I had an episode with her. I wish I could remember it off the top of my head, but it’s it was this year it was in the two hundreds. So it’s my daughter talking about her depression and anxiety, which was really, really crippling, like, really crippling. And so we talked about that a little bit. And the question he asked me was, like, how do you stay high vibe in that kind of situation? And I learned how to stay high vibe in that situation. But I felt myself, like scanning the question. And wondering, you know, like I just said, my unconscious mind comes up with an answer, and then my conscious mind scans to make sure that’s appropriate, or that’s right, or will that make me look okay to say that, and all of a sudden, I was like, I’m gonna say the truth. And the truth is, I didn’t stay high vibe. Like it was awful. Like, I totally met the bottom of the barrel and the depths of my soul. But that’s how I learned to bring it all back together. You know, you don’t just learn how to do all that unless you go down to the awfulness, and the really hard bits. And I started thinking about that, because I think one of the things that’s can be really toxic with coaches, or just like celebrities, or any buddy, anybody, anybody that we look to, for, you know, inspiration, or advice or affirmation, and they say, oh, like, I just used my tools, and I just was super hype, like, no, like, that’s not real life. Everybody has highs and lows. I think what makes the difference between people who move out and have a story to share, is that they get resourceful in that low. And it’s okay to get low and stay there for a second. Look, it’s okay to get low and like, have your moment, you know, and then you’ve got to get resourceful, you’ve got to figure out like, what do I do from here, because we don’t want to stay in the low. So I share that with you, in case you’re in a low right now. You know, when he said that, to me, I was like it. I wasn’t high, like I wasn’t high vibe, it’s okay. It’s okay to the holidays can be so hard, like the holidays bring up a lot of things for people. And I think like, knowing that you can sit with this for just a minute, and you can feel all of the pain and struggle in it. And then you can choose to see it another way, then you can choose to get resourceful, you know, you can choose to get help to get therapy to get a coach to do whatever it is that you need to be able to shift out. And that is how you get strength. You’re not just like born with strength, and if everything goes your way all the time, forever, ever, which it doesn’t for anybody. But if it does, then you’re not very strong, because you don’t have to be you know, and, and I do believe that now, like, as my daughter is so happy and like doing stuff like sometimes she’ll call me just to tell me like, happy stuff. But she’s out of school right now in her apartment for a little while before she her apart. That’s a whole story. But she has had an apartment. But when she went to school, she went to the dorms. So now she’s back at her apartment for just a couple of weeks before her her lease is done. And then she’ll come, she’ll stay at her dad’s and probably with me for a little bit. Her daughter has more room than I do. And so in all that she’s at her apartment, so she’s a little lonely. So she’ll call me like, you know, five times a day to tell me something happy. And I’ll tell you it, I’m not going to tell you it’s not like a little like, Okay, I’m trying, you know, it disrupts the flow, but it’s okay. Because I have this contrast. Like even when it disrupts the flow of what I’m doing. Like I think she’s texted since I’ve been talking. Even though it’s coming up. I can go oh my god, this is so great. Like, how cool is this? Because five years ago, four years ago, it wasn’t like this. So now I have this opportunity to see it in a totally different way. I have an opportunity to see my whole life in a totally different way. And so as on the wrong advice podcast, he asked me about that. I just thought it was so amazing. According to say the truth, you know, and I didn’t go into all of the reason why on the show, obviously, but I wanted to share that with you guys, because I want you to know that if right now is hard, it’s okay. Like, it’s okay, maybe you’re coming out of the heart. And that’s amazing. But just know that it’s. And I know I say this, and I’m not trying to belittle where we are when we’re in pain, because I’ve been there I know. And I really do have the belief that everything is working for us, even when it feels and I’m telling you, I’ve felt like, desperate, like there is no out kind of desperate. And I still have that belief that, that I had to be in that for another reason, right? That everything is working in our favor. So even when things don’t look like they’re going the way they’re supposed to go supposed to, like in air quotes, when we can look back, like I’m sure as you now look back on your life, you probably look back on like the whole tapestry and say, Wow, that really did intertwine. And that thing that happened in my 20s actually helped me when I was 32. And I didn’t realize that was going to come back around and everything like, weaves together in this really beautiful way. So I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell you to watch serendipity eats and send me a pinto bean recipe if you have a good one because I don’t feel like I’ve had pinto beans in a long time. But apparently it’s my favorite. And just know if things are hard, then you’re growing, you’re getting so strong, and it’s going to get better because all things are working in our favor. And actually next week, I’m doing a free training. It’s on my website, if you go to if you go to Betsy pake comm slash links, links. So like, that’s the link I use, like in my bio on all my stuff on my social media, but there’ll be a link there for it, I’ll try to put it on the front page for my website. But there’s a free training, it is on the eighth in the evening at seven o’clock Eastern. And I’m going to talk about possibility and about expanding so that you have the confidence to do the things that you really want to do in the coming year. I think this is so superduper important. I will say that I’m running a new program that is revolutionary, I swear to you, revolutionary coaches, I’ve never ever, ever, ever seen a coach do what I’m going to do. Because and I have a recent but I’ll tell you about that later. So so I’ll we’ll be talking about that, but not till the very end. And and even if you’re like I don’t want to coach but I want to learn like there, there’s gonna be some steps in there, that’ll actually be something that I hope will be a new a different way for you to see, like your problems or your situation. So that you go, Oh, I never thought of it like that. That’s why, right. So I’ve got some things there for you. that I hope will be helpful. So anyway, so join me on that. You can also text me, I feel like I’m giving you all these things to do. You could text me though, if you text me the word ready to 770-343-3409 If you think you want the coaching, you want to learn more like that’s the place to be I promise you, I promise you that you need to be on the text list because of something that’s coming just for the people that are texting. Okay. All right. Okay, so here’s the other thing I wanted to tell you about. I have my list here. But the list I just grabbed is like my list of what I have to get at Target. So hang on, where’s my list? Okay, I know. Okay, so I was I talked about this inside my free Facebook group. I don’t know why I just called it a free Facebook group, our Facebook groups, maybe some are paid. Okay. So here’s what I was talking about. A couple days ago, and something I wanted to share this like idea, right? As we’re talking here at Starbucks and having a little coffee chat. When I started thinking about resolutions for next year, I It felt really really heavy to me. I don’t know if you’re like a goal setter, I love goal I love like the freshness of the new year. Like I love Mondays, the start of a new month. I mean, even like a new moon cycle. I’m like, ooh, like I love the opportunity. Like the outside of me opportunity that says oh, you can start fresh. Like I love that. And so typically, I really love New Year’s resolutions. I think I’ve always done them a little bit different from other people. Because as we know, resolutions don’t really work in the way that most people set them up. And I’ll talk about that in the training but I started thinking about this and what do I want to do like would feel like a better way to set up my resolutions. So I wanted to quickly kind of go over that with you guys. I I remember when my daughter was sick, like, I couldn’t plan anything like it couldn’t do a resolution where I had to have a plan like that just it was not feasible at all. And so and so at that time, what I would do is I took my life and I broke it down into like buckets. And like, for me, the buckets are like, my relationships, like with my daughter and my extended family like friends, those kinds of things. And then my romantic relationship, right? So with my husband, or your partner or whatever. And then spiritual finances, health and fitness, giving back if that’s a component of your life. What else there was something else Anyway, come up with your buckets? Like what are the buckets of your life? Oh, spirit spirituality? Did I say that anyway, come up with the buckets for your life, like what are the components. And then what I want you to do is to just rate each one on a scale of one to 10. So 10 is like I am killing it in this area. And one is like, oh my gosh, this is so far gone, there’s a lot of work to do. No shame, no matter where you are doesn’t matter. And nobody has to see the list. But just break down your buckets, and then rate every area from one to 10. And then what I like to do is I look at it and I say like which one is the lowest number because that’s probably where I would have a biggest impact. Because if you’re thinking about it, I don’t want my life to just be like, amazing with health and fitness, but have my relationships suck, have no money, have no spiritual like, look, I don’t want that I want everything to be in balance. And for me, I don’t know that I would ever ever be at a 10 in everything. Maybe in anything, right? Maybe I don’t know, I’m not attending anything right now. So, but what I want is like a cohesiveness to it, right. Like if everything was like an eight and seven, eight, that would feel really good to me high eight, that would feel good. So I’m okay if something’s a two because there’s a lot of room to improve. Like, if I moved the needle on that up to a six, like that would have a huge impact on my life and on balance. Right and on making me feel good. So what I like to do is to just rate everything one to 10. And then notice the areas where I could have the biggest impact, and then really break down like what are all the things like what are all the options, and I was telling everybody in the Facebook group the other day to set a timer. I believe in this so much from an unconscious mind perspective, because when we set a timer, our brains go, Okay, well, I’m gonna keep doing it until this is the timer’s over, right. If you don’t do that, then you’re going to come up with the list of the things that were like top of mind. And then you’ll be like, Okay, well, I’m done. There’s nothing new here. But if you set a timer, your mind is going to go through this like or I’ve got to come up with more. And for me, what usually happens is then I start thinking about stuff that has nothing to do with the list, right? I write those things down too, because it gets them out. And then like this new batch of ideas come, I have something I called the chase worksheet, and it’s free on my website. But I wrote it, I made it when I wrote my book, start small, live big. Honestly, I use this, I use the chase worksheet almost every day. Like I have an iPad, I have an iPad, where I use, I put everything. And inside good notes, I have a folder that’s just with my Chase worksheets. And I just use them all the time. It’s how I, I get my work through problems. It’s how I get creative, all of those things. So um, I had a client a few years ago that said, this form is bananas. And it’s so simple, like you don’t even need the form to do it. But it’s helpful, I think just as a guide, but it is bananas. And you should have a life. That’s bananas. Right? So that’s just a new way to think about 2022 instead, and if you want to set resolutions like do it, do it. If you want to have like a word of the year, like do it totally. But if you’re like all of that feels heavy, like we’ve been going through a lot the last couple years. As a collective, there’s a lot of heaviness. There’s a lot of fighting, right, there’s a lot of like disruption. And so it just feels better to look at everything like Like adding like a breathing ball of cohesiveness in your life, and we just want to be constantly working on expanding that, then maybe this will be a good option for you. Okay, as I was saying that working on expanding that I remembered something I wanted to tell you guys too. You know, um, my friend Trish from Episode 208. I, she’s like, she’s been a friend of mine for so long. And she’s also one of those friends. Like, we might not talk for six weeks, and then we’ll talk No, be like we talked two hours ago, you know, that’s the best kind of friend, I think. So anyway, she called me the other day and said, Hey, I’ve been thinking about you. And I think you should float. I was like, Okay, I mean, I haven’t talked to in a long time, let’s Okay, Let’s float, I’m gonna go float. So if you don’t, if you’re not familiar with that, it is a place where you go, I went to a place called float, Atlanta. And they have these giant tanks of water, that it’s salt water, they put Epsom salt in it so that it mimics the Dead Sea. And if you’re familiar with the Dead Sea, you can go out there and float, you actually don’t sink in the water, you just float. And so they have these tanks set up as sensory deprivation tanks. And you go in and it’s dark, and there’s no sound and you float and the temperature of the air and the temperature of the water is your skin temperature. So you can’t tell where you start and end. And so there’s no and you put in earplugs so there’s no nothing in you float for an hour. I think they do 90 minute sessions, too. So last Sunday is when she told me that and so I immediately found a full place online and I booked and I booked for that day. So when Trish says to do something, I do it. The one thing she told me to do was to years ago, she told me to get acupuncture, and I didn’t really like that. But she said I know you didn’t like the acupuncture, but I feel like you should float. You’ve got to, you’ve got to push your vibration out. She kept saying, and I don’t know if you can hear it in my voice, but I can feel it that I feel so much more expansive. So okay, so let me go back. So I, um, I may drink my tea. So I went on Sunday. And I will tell you, honestly, the the the tank. So there’s different kinds of tanks, there’s like the pod, you may have seen them, right? It’s like a pod you go and you close the cover. But now like the new thing is that it’s a little room. So you go in the room, and you float. So it’s like open air. So you’re not like in like a pod, which I actually really liked. But the thing is, with floating, I was like I mean, this is good. It was cool. I mean, I like to relax, some I like to meditate, like I was like this is good. And I really focused on like cleaning out my energy, I had just a lot of gunk in my energy field. And I just cleaned all of that out. And then I imagined pushing, pushing, pushing my vibration out farther and farther and farther. So that’s what I was told to do by Trish was to expand my vibration. So I just really worked on that the whole time. And that was great. It was great. But then the next day, I was like, I feel amazing, like, holy smokes, I feel so good. And you know, you have heard me talk over the last few months that I’ve been going through, like some really hard stuff since like August, probably since like, April when my dog died. That’s the avalanche that created everything that I’ve been going through. And I’ll talk about it at some point. But as I as I was thinking about it, I was like that has, like my nervous system has been so tweaked out. And maybe you’ve had this too, right? I mean, I feel like maybe we all have in the past few years. Right? But like I didn’t, I haven’t had a chance to just completely disconnect. Right, like totally disconnect. So like the next day. I was like I I mean I feel amazed like I mean, you know, I’m like walking around the neighborhood and talking to strangers and like kissing babies pet dogs like gums, so high vibration, like I can just give it away. Right? And then the next day, same same damn thing. I mean, I was like, This is amazing. I’m like, I have the energy to show up in my groups again, like I just mean things I’ve been wanting to do, but like, just so so good. So then Wednesday, I was like trying to do some work. And I couldn’t stop thinking about floating. It was sort of like obsessed. Like I was like oh my god. So from that was like Betsy, if that’s what you keep thinking about go do it. So I went and floated again on Wednesday afternoon. went online, they had a spot when Wednesday afternoon. This time when I got there, I got there like 10 minutes early and the woman was like there’s nobody right after you do you want some extra time. So she actually ended up giving me 10 minutes on each side. So I ended up going an hour and 20 minutes. Now, the first time I went, I kind of I was aware of the time. You know, towards the end, I was like, this has got to begin over. You know, like I said, it was fine. But this time, this time, I was like, blissed out. amazingness like I could float for 10 days don’t disturb me, this is the greatest thing I’ve ever felt. And then when the lights, you know, the music kind of started to come on, and the lights slowly start coming on. I was like, oh my god, I can’t believe I’m done. And then when I looked at the time, I was like, I cannot believe how long I was in there. blissed out feels so good. I’m going back on Sunday. So also my new like, hardcore goal. I have been wanting to like, I don’t know where I want to live. You know, my lease is coming up. I gotta move. Like which beach? I don’t know. Now. I’m like, I need to buy a house so that I can buy a $30,000 float tank. I mean, like, that’s the level of obsession I need to flow every day. Then I started thinking like, I wonder if I bought 30 flutes, if I could get like a discount, and I could flute every day for like a month as like an experiment to see what would happen. Like, I mean, that’s the that’s how obsessed I am. So I wanted to tell you that because if you’ve never floated, but you feel called like you’re like, Ooh, that sounds really cool. Please try. And if you try, please let me know. Because I really want to know how it goes. I like full on obsession. It’s so good. You know, I like I’ll say it again. But I’ve been meditating for a long, long time. I mean, years and years. And it’s great and necessary. And there was like something different about that experience. So here’s what’s coming to me as I’m talking. I watched this special the other day on iOS CO or on it wasn’t on iOS, because specifically it was on like psychedelics and what it actually does to your brain. And if you’ve listened to my episode, where I had signed up to do ayahuasca, that’s a few episodes back a couple months back, it’s an August, I think, and why I didn’t do it. Anyway, as I was like, watching this is fascinating, and how it creates all of these attachments in your brain, like your brain starts communicating, not in the normal pattern, but like all over your head, everything starts communicating when you do psychedelics, basically. And that’s, like, what gives people these like spiritual experiences. And like all of this, it’s, it’s like your brain making all these really cool connections. I need to check. But as I was sitting here talking to you, I was like, I, I wonder, you know, with meditation, I think there are different connections being made. But with floating, I wonder if it just, like, amps it up. I feel like it’s like on that path. Like if the there’s a continuum, where like, psychedelics are way down on one end, right? And like, just sitting here being in beta brainwaves is like on the other end? Like, I feel like maybe it’s like, on the path, like closer to that than meditation? You know what I mean? I don’t know. I’m not sure. I don’t know. So please, please come to my training next week, I really want to see you, I want to see everybody’s face on the Zoom. I just think that will be really fun to see everybody. I have a lot of cool things to share that I really think will help you start to think different about your life. And at the end, if we want to chat a little bit, or you have questions, like absolutely, I will be there and we can connect in that way. So I hope that you all had a really, if you’re in the United States, you had a really amazing Thanksgiving, I hope your holidays are gearing up and you’re feeling good. I know this can be a really hard time for people to so just know that all things are working in our favor, not to avoid or push away any of your emotion. It’s all so valid and necessary and part of you earning your stripes, right getting that strength. And you’re super powerful, and you can do this. Alright, I love you all so much. I will see you all next week. And until then, keep living big. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.