280: How to find the lessons you need. - Betsy Pake

280: How to find the lessons you need.


In this episode, Betsy expands on last week’s episode and talks deeper into finding lessons, vibration, and living your path.

Find The Possibility Experience here: https://betsypake.com/possibility

Learn more about The Alchemy Institute here: https://thealchemyinstitute.co/


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome to today’s show. So I’ve got a lot of things to tell you about today, I want to continue our conversation from last week. So if you haven’t heard that it was everything that you need to know if you have any kind of goals for the coming year. And I want to expand a little bit on a couple things that I think are important in terms of like understanding that and putting that into practice. And if you’ve been here for a little while, I want to give you the update on where things are. For me, I’m here still at the beach, I’m going to be here for another like week and a half. And so it will be a month that I will have been at the beach. And if you’ve been listening for any amount of time, you know how much I’ve wanted to live at the beach. You know, the past three weeks have been really such an important time in my life. It’s been such an incredible awareness about me and what I want and who I am. And so I want to I want to tell you a little bit about that. You know, last week I talked about how I’d been at the beach, and I’ve got to be out of my apartment. So big scope, if you’re new here, about a year ago, a little over a year ago, I sold my house and moved into an apartment that I was calling like the bridge house for a year with the hopes of relocating and moving to the beach. And then when it got towards the holidays, and we hadn’t didn’t have a plan. I extended the lease. So now that lease is coming due. And so what do I do? Right? Um, you’ve heard me talk about how I got separated back in end of August, September. And so last week, I was like, I I’m just flowing, like, I’m fine with whatever happens. Like, I know, probably I should be like, Oh my God, I need to get movers, I need to figure it out. And I, I just knew that things would work the way that they were supposed to work and that I would know what was next when it was time. And I felt really, really calm and settled in that. And it was interesting, because I don’t know, maybe three days after three or four days after I after I, I recorded that episode, I got a message on Facebook, from a guy that had bought something from me on facebook marketplace when I had moved. And he bought like a piece of furniture or something that I was selling. And at that time, he said, I own a moving company, if you need movers. And I said no, that we already had movers. But if I needed something moved, like we had a storage space in the apartment. So like if I need something then I’ll let you know. And he was he’s just like a, like small, little movers, right where he’s got like a little crew and an A and a truck. So anyway, a couple days after I posted that podcast where I’m like, I’m totally fine. I know. It’ll all work out. He messaged me and said, it’s been about a year since you moved? Do you need a mover? And so I knew I was like, oh, yeah, I do. So it just, I didn’t even have to do anything. Like I did not have to do any effort. I just had to trust that the next right thing would come into my awareness. And and so it did. So I thought that was sort of a fun little update. I have found this has been such an interesting experience for me. Not only because like I’ve wanted to be at the beach so much. I was curious if by the end of like the 30 days, if it would start to become like common, you know, like I would open the blinds. I’m like right on the ocean to like open the blinds and I see the ocean like beautiful. And the first couple days like I literally cheered like I’d open the blinds and then I would like put my hands in there and I’m like, hello, hello. Like I was so enamored. And that hasn’t really worn off. I’m not necessarily cheering but I’m still like holy smokes every morning when I open it up, so I’m happy that hasn’t worn off. But I will say that life started to happen again. Right where I had I was busy and I had appointments and I couldn’t get out to the beach like so now it’s like five minutes out. I’d like to go down the elevator 16 floors through the pool area and I’m on the beach right so I’m I don’t know three minutes maybe, depending on if I can catch an elevator

And that feels like, I’ve got stuff to do. Now, here’s why that’s important. And this is why I wanted to share this with you is because, remember, last week, we talked about our identity, our values and our beliefs. And so many times we think it’s our environment, well, if I lived in the ocean, I would be so happy, I would be there every day, I would be getting fresh air every day, I wouldn’t be walking every day. It’s because of my environment. And it’s not. It’s not it’s because of my values and my beliefs and my identity. And the identity I have of like, being like, I’m using air quotes, like a hard worker, like getting all the things done that I need to get done. And, and, and doing more and like being online and focusing on all that stuff, outweighs movement. I mean, I know it sounds silly, because you’re like, well, you should be able to balance both of those. Yes, that would be ideal. But the reason I couldn’t do it in Georgia is the reason I’m not doing it here. Which has been really, really amazing. Because now I know, I knew it before, but it’s really obvious to me, I have some identity work to do on that. And that’s great. Like, that’s amazing. So I relieve myself, if you listen to last week’s episode, relieve myself of the stress and the like, like the pressure or putting myself down, I go, Oh, I suck like I didn’t. I’m right here though, should I’m not even going out there every day. It’s okay. It’s okay. It’s just where I am right in this moment. And so now I can see it. Now I have this new perspective. And now I have an opportunity to change. And weird, not weird. But funny side note. interesting side note is that over the last week, I have been prepping for my master practitioner training. So people go through my practitioner training my NLP, EFT, 10 techniques, that whole hypnosis, all of that, and they become coaches in that in the alchemy Institute. And then the next level is master prac. And we’ll we are going to be launching that and that will be available to people so they can buy, they can enroll in both, like you can enroll in the bundle, or you can if you’ve already been in prac, you can move on. So I’m really excited for people to come through that program. Because it’s, it’s, I would love to hire somebody that I have trained because then I know they’ll do it exactly the way I think is the right way to do it. So all of that identity work is done. We learn about that inside our Master Practitioner program. So really, really great awareness. And I wanted to share that with you because there are lessons in everything. There’s lessons and everything. You know, this morning I was making my coffee. And the coffee maker here at the Airbnb wasn’t working. And I have one of those cups. It’s like an ember mug and the mug tells you the temperature of the coffee and it keeps it at a certain temperature. If you don’t have one, it’s amazing. Like I can go sit out on the balcony and it’s cool in the morning. I’m not worried like I got to drink my coffee in a hurry. Or if I’m drinking my coffee and then I’m like I’m going to go take a shower because that feels like the next right thing. My coffee is still hot. Okay, so the Ember thing is awesome. But when I made coffee here like the first day or two at the Airbnb, I put it in the mug in the mug registered that it was 70 degrees so it was not getting hot. So it was super gross. And I ended up going to Walmart if you’re on my Instagram, you saw me like manically going to Walmart and I bought a French press so that I could make some coffee. That was hot. This morning, I went to pour the coffee and like wasn’t coming out. You know, a French press is like that glass cylinder and then you put push the plunger and then you pour the coffee but like I was pouring but like it wasn’t coming out. And it was kind of like starting to seep out like the edges. But I was like what is going on? And I felt myself get a moment of like, I’m like super annoyed. Okay, need my coffee. And I paused. I paused and I thought what is this trying to teach me? I know this seems sort of extreme like You’re like just get your coffee, Betsy. But this is important. Because I really, really believe this. I believe this more after being alone for a month here at the beach. But every single thing that’s happening is to teach us something

ever every single thing that’s happening has to teach us something. And so as I stood there and I was like damn coffee, what is it trying to teach me I literally asked myself that question now, a couple things are going to happen when you ask yourself that question, it’s going to take you out of it. So you’re not in it. It’s almost like you’re not in and looking through your own eyes being like super pissed at whatever the situation is. It’s almost like you dissociate and you step outside of it, and you’re watching yourself, like you’re watching a movie, like, what could this possibly try be trying to teach me. And I decided it was trying to teach me some patience. And right now, there’s a lot of changes happening in my life, like a lot of big things, a lot of things that I just want resolution to. But patience is really important. And so I was like, Okay, can I be patient enough to let this damn coffee trickle into the mug? And then I was like, no. So there’s another way? Ah, like, another really good lesson. I know that sounds silly. Because you’re like, that’s a it’s a French press, check the thing and turn the little thing around so that the coffee flow is like it’s blocked. But when I I’m trying to explain this, when I could ask myself, what’s the lesson, my unconscious mind, got a lesson from that, that I needed. If you did it, you might get a different lesson. Because it would give you what you needed. Everything is an opportunity to get the lesson. So I was like, okay, patience, okay. But really, I need my coffee. So then I was like, there’s another way to do this. And that was like the aha for me. So like, there’s another way to do this. So I looked, and I was like, Oh, the screen, I didn’t even realize it was made like that I must have always for the entire month that I’ve been here, put this on exactly in the right spot where the coffee flowed out the screen, but it was blocked. And so I’m taking that lesson, because remember what I was talking about last week, our unconscious mind knows everything. It knows how to put that coffee pot on right? I know, this might seem a little strange. My unconscious mind sees everything. It knew that there was an opening in the top of that plunger. And every single day for the entire month that I’ve been here, it puts it on correctly. I don’t have to think about it. I don’t even notice it. I didn’t even know consciously. But then today, I put it on wrong. And so I knew there’s a lesson. There’s a lesson. So the lesson for me was, there’s always another way to look at things. If it’s not working. There’s another way to look at it. And when you can step outside of yourself, you can get a different perspective and say, You know what, I’m not going to just keep ignoring the fact that the coffee’s just trickling out, I’m going to step back and go, How could I do this a different way. Now. If you’re rolling your eyes, that example, I want you to just go, I want you to just try it even for like an hour today. And when something doesn’t go, right, and here’s how you’re going to know it’s going to feel you’re not going to feel good. So if you feel like in or you feel like I don’t this isn’t I don’t feel good, I’m not happy, then pause and say what isn’t working? What’s the lesson that I need to have in this? Right now? There are lessons inside everything that we do I really believe that one of the things that we do, and I do with all of my members have the possibility experience on my one on one clients, like everybody I teach it inside the alchemy Institute, is something called time techniques. And this is really where we go back in time we get a little trancy we go back in time. Unconscious Mind handles all the time we go back in time in our unconscious mind, and we get lessons. And when we get different lessons. Everything changes.

You know, we talked about our values. Last week, we talked about values and beliefs and how those are formed in our identity. Well, they come from the lessons what we perceived to be true, how we formulated that reality. So if I go back in time, and I go back to a time where I’m five years old, remember I’m saying yes, if you listened to last week’s episode, I’m saying yes, yes, yes. Well, maybe yes. When I was five is not yes. Now. Maybe that doesn’t equal the kind of life I want to have. And so we can actually go back and change that lesson. Now. Bringing that into our day to day. I I really believe that there are lessons for us to explore and to find in our everyday just by being present, this is why I think, you know, Eckhart totally and all of these people talk about being present. Because if you’re not present if I was not thinking about the coffee at that moment, and instead, I was thinking about all the things I needed to do. Or I was thinking about how I really want to go down today and take a walk on the beach, or I was thinking about something else, I wouldn’t have been present, and I would have just gotten annoyed, and then I would have pulled the cap off, probably would have gotten coffee grounds everywhere, which would have sort of annoyed me, and I would have looked at it, and then figured it out, push it back on and missed the lesson. Now, is every single thing going to be some lesson that changes my life? Probably not. But over time, being present, and being aware, and noticing these things start to shift who you are, it starts to shift your identity, because now you’re an identity as a person that’s always learning. I’m always getting lessons. Now, if you are the person who’s always getting lessons, are you going to get like super upset about things that normally would have upset you? Are you going to get like, really angry at things are you going to get superduper sad about things or feel out of control, probably not to the same extent. Because you’re being present, and you’re realizing that you’re learning and growing, every moment doesn’t stop. When you’re a kid it, we bypass a ton of it as an adult, because we can. And that’s when we we bypass it for long enough. And then life starts to break down, right? And then we’re like, in our 40s, or 50s, or 60s, and we’re like holy crap, like, this isn’t how I want it to be. But that doesn’t matter, like whatever happened already doesn’t matter. Because you can just start right this second, you can start the second and do something different. I think when we can release ourselves of like, the pain and misery of what’s already happened. You know, if we could just release the stories around that, and then choose what story we want to go forward. Choose how that looks, choose how we respond. And I think as we begin to formulate, that we can really, really use what’s happening in our lives right now to show us the path. You know, you don’t have to know where you’re going, you don’t have to know exactly how it lays out. But you have to be present so that you can get the new lessons, right. That’s how we’re like naturally healing things, and how we can start to formulate what we want moving forward, what that looks like, I really think that there is an opportunity for us in this new year, I think energetically there’s a lot of space to call in something new, I think there’s a lot of space to bring about the change that you want. And I think to do that you have to be willing to let go of what you already knew. And you have to be really present to get some new lessons. You know, when we talk about vibration, you know, you hear people say like, that’s not my vibe, like the vibration, your vibration is coming from your unconscious mind. Your Vibration, you know, when someone’s like they had a bad vibe, what’s because it didn’t match? How you see the world that gave you a unconsciously perhaps give you a thought which gave you a feeling that made you say no. And so when we think about our vibration, and how do we be on the vibration of the things we want, right? You hear that all the time, like, like, like attracts like the law of attraction is you being at the vibration of this thing. It’s you your vibration is coming from your unconscious mind.

If you listen to last week’s episode, it’s from your beliefs. It’s from your values, and it’s from your identity. So if you want to change your vibration, that’s where you need to go. You need to shift to those things. And then unconsciously, you’re vibrating at that new level. And then everything can shift. So my challenge for you this week is to pay attention. Really try to be present. Notice if there were times in the past where you would have been looking at your phone, then don’t like maybe you leave your phone. One of the things that I’ve done this week, a couple things or this month a couple things is one is I don’t always bring my phone with me when I walk on the beach. Sometimes I do but not all the time. And I have worn an Apple Watch for a long, long time. And it tells you like how long you’ve walked. And I found that to be not the identity that I wanted, it was like, I don’t want to be the kind of person that has to walk for a certain amount of time, I want to be the kind of person that just walks because it feels good. And then when I get tired, or I’m done, then I just turn around and go back. And it doesn’t matter if I’m not quite at three miles, like, it doesn’t matter if I’m short of my, like, air quotes goal. And so I’ve purposely taken my watch off, when I’ve gone for a walk. And then there’s actually been several days where I haven’t learned at all, because I don’t want that to be the thing. And so think about what might be coming up in your life that’s keeping you That’s good. That is the thing for you, you know, that’s keeping you pulled in or keeping you in that identity? And how does, how is that showing up? And how can you shift that? How can you take control and say, I’m gonna cut that little thing out? You know, I notice, like, if I get I’m gonna use the word board. But that’s not right. If I get stuck, if I’m working on a project, and then I’m like, I have to make a decision, and they don’t know what it is, I immediately grabbed my phone and like open up like Facebook or something. It’s, it’s almost weird. It is like my, if it’s my opting out, right? So if I have like, I have to figure out how I’m going to do this project, what this looks like, get overwhelmed, I grab my phone. So I physically move my phone so that I can’t just do that, mindlessly, unconsciously. So start to be present, and start to notice where you’re pulling in things that pulls you out of the experience. Make changes there and ask yourself, What’s the lesson in this for me? What’s the lesson in this for me and see how you can start to really shift, change that vibration, and bring the things that you want to experience in your physical reality into your awareness. They can be done. And it can be really fun. Relax, have no momentum towards anything, just have it be coming to you. Right? Have it be coming to you, I saw heard a quote by Abraham Hicks, and I’m going to get it wrong. But it was something like if you have something that has little momentum, and no resistance, you’re at the start of something really great. Have everything that you wanted. So it has a little bit of momentum, right? Not a ton because if you have too much momentum like it got to be to the beach, right? Then it starts to clog up the works, right. So how we circumvent this, I really think is being present, starting to notice what are the lessons? Where am I bypassing? And that when you do that, I think that is how you live a big life. If you liked this episode, or you got something out of it, please share it with a friend. Share it on social media and tag me I’m at Betsy pake all over social media, I would love to see what you thought to hear what you thought and to see how you’re moving through this process. Give me the updates I can’t wait to hear. And if you want to join us, the possibility experience is probably going to be the last time that we offer it for the year. I know. I know it’s the beginning of the year, but I think we’ll offer it one more time over the next month. You can go to Betsy pake comm slash possibility and that’ll give you the details on that. We’ll probably run that one more time because I’m really going to dive into the alchemy Institute if you have ever wanted to be a coach, or you are a coach and you just want to up level you want to be board certified and really get some skills that can help transform people’s lives. Then join us there it’s the alchemy institute.co You can find it on my website too if you just go to Betsy pake calm.

Alright y’all, I will see you next week. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake calm, and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.