283: The Biggest Mistake You're Making - Betsy Pake

283: The Biggest Mistake You’re Making


In today’s episode, Betsy is talking about seeking change and finding your path and the mistake being made as the world shifts into a new paradigm.


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, welcome to the show today. I saw I have some stuff, I have a lot of things, I have a bunch of stuff to tell you. And I also wanted to give you a quick update, just in case you have been following along the past few episodes, where I talked about that tick tock that I saw and saw the Northern Lights and then decided the next day to book a trip to Iceland. So if you are new here, welcome. Welcome, welcome. And if you want to go back and listen to those episodes, where it kind of like more dives into that whole story, because I think on the surface, that might sound all a little crazy. But you know what, maybe not, like, maybe that sounds like really living, it feels like really living to me. And I realized, I realized more and more. And I talked about this a little bit last night that I want to make decisions way quicker, and do just leap into the things that I want to do. And I’ve had a lot of things, you know, just like you have like a lot of things that I want to do and ideas. And I think like that, like, I’ll get to that, I’ll do that. Yeah, I’m gonna do that at some point. I’ll figure that out when the time is right. And I do that a lot. And sometimes it’s valid, right? Sometimes it’s valid. We always think it’s valid, I guess. And sometimes I have real reasons. But a lot of the time, it’s just me delaying or not being ready, I’ll give you an example is that I’ve wanted to do a live NLP training. But I want it. I remember when I very first started my whole NLP trainers training journey, one of the things I asked to my trainer was, like, could I do this training like a retreat? Like, could I have people come to like a retreat and do this whole thing? And she was like, Yeah, I don’t know. Why not. You know, some people do it. Like in a hotel in a conference room. Like, that’s how I was trained. But I don’t see why you couldn’t do it that way. And then I was thinking that’s what I wanted to do, but never actually did it. So last week, I talked about how I started making decisions much, much quicker. And part of that for me was going you know what, I’m going to do a live NLP, I’m going to make the decision to do the live NLP training before fear has a chance to move up front into the front seat with me, you know, when we have an idea of something we want, kind of like lingering in the background is this like, I’m not sure. And then the longer we pause, the quicker that fear body comes and moves right up next to us. Or now it’s like cuddling up next to us. And so many times I think we just delay you. We might not say no, we may not say like, I’m never gonna do that. We don’t do that. We just delay. And I don’t, I no longer feel like there’s a big difference between delaying and saying no, other than just delaying makes us feel better. Delaying makes us feel like well, it still is possible. I saw a quote the other day and I’ve seen this quote a million times. I know you’ve seen it too. And it says something like the biggest mistake people make is thinking that they have time. And I think that that’s sort of like what happened to me was that all of the sudden, I was like, I don’t know that I have time. Like I’m gonna. I’m gonna make these decisions super quick, before fear has a chance to come and cuddle up next to me. So

so I’m going to Iceland on Tuesday, I have a giant pile of cold weather stuff in in a pile in the corner of my room. It’s like It’s like this giant pile of like boots and jackets and ski pants and fleece lined underwear and stuff. And then a bathing suit because someone reminded me on Instagram, don’t forget your bathing suit for the Blue Lagoon or whatever. And I had thought about it but I hadn’t thrown it in the pile. So now it’s this giant pile of freezing weather wear and a bathing suit. So I am going I’m leaving on Tuesday night next Tuesday night, I travel all night, I go to London and then I take a flight from London to Reykjavik. But I’m going to be there a few days before I am meeting everybody. So I’m meeting this like small group and we’re traveling, doing like a big loop all around the country. And so I was like, up, I’m going to use my bathing suit. So I just went in and figured out how to take a little, a little bus, I guess it is from my hotel in Reykjavik to the Blue Lagoon, I’m going to spend the day at the Blue Lagoon and come home, come back to the to the hotel. So I figured all of that out. Now, why do I tell you that? Because my instinct. My instinct was just get to the hotel and just stay there until you meet everybody, which I know is completely like from like, from a rational standpoint, you’d be like, Well, no, you’re there two days, you’re not going to just stay in the hotel. But my instinct would be to do that. Because it’s an it’s like outside the realm of what’s normal for me. So I would wait till I got there. And then I would figure it out. And by the time I would get there, it would be too late to figure stuff out. Does that make sense? Like it would be like everything would be booked or I wouldn’t be able to. And that has happened to me in my life a lot. Maybe not like, going Iceland, obviously. But other things where I’m like, I wait, because I’m afraid. And, you know, it’s vulnerable to say that, but I’m just guessing that you do that kind of thing, too, right? Like, well, it’s unknown, I’m afraid I don’t know, it feels confusing. I have talked about this on a show before but fear, to me, shows up as confusion. So something seems really convoluted, like hard to understand or figure out. And honestly, like, I’m going to a country where they speak English. Most people speak English and Iceland. But you know, you can’t read anything. If you ever seen like the words for Iceland, like I’m like, Oh my gosh, it kind of looks English, but it’s like very convoluted, and it was confusing, and the money is different. And, you know, if you are somebody that travels abroad a lot, this might seem really strange to you. But I’m not I travel a lot, I think but it’s usually like two places in the United States or to the beach. And so this has given me such an incredible opportunity to get a feeling for what it would feel like for somebody to come into one of my programs, and to have this be all totally foreign. Does that make sense? So it’s like, all of a sudden, it’s giving me this perspective of somebody that might be looking at something that I’m doing and being interested, but it feels really confusing or convoluted, or they’re like, I just I don’t know how to make a decision. So that number one and number two, it helped me because I was in this place of making a decision and going making a decision and going making decision and going that I started getting more confidence.

Like it started making things a lot easier. Like I realized when I booked the thing to Iceland to the Blue Lagoon, it was way easier than when I booked the, the trip from the, from the hotel from the airport to the hotel. I know that sounds kind of silly. But that felt scarier, cuz it was like a week ago when I did that, right. So like, the things became easier, the quicker and the more that I did them. And so it’s really about like that very first step of making a shift that very first step of making a decision quickly that I think becomes the hardest one. And then once you do that, it’s almost like you’ve, you’ve like, pop the seal on it, you know, and all of a sudden it becomes you you gain confidence. And then it’s okay to make to take a risk. It’s okay because you know, that you’ll either it won’t go the way you need to and you can figure it out. Or you can figure it out. You know, when I very first booked the trip to Iceland, then I realized I had to book the flight. I think I might have talked about this last week but I had to book the flight, obviously from Atlanta to get to Reykjavik. And I was really confusing for me. Again, fear shows up for me as confusion. And because I wanted to use my points to get to London. And then I had to book a flight from London to Reykjavik, and so I had to make sure the title matched Right? Like that I could get off the plane in London and get through customs, get my luggage and then get back on a flight to Reykjavik. Um, I don’t even know how to explain to you how, like tweaked out I was that morning that I was doing that. I did it like several times in my head like I had it mapped out. Like I was like, Can I buy this flight and this flight, and then this flight and this flight, like, really overwhelming. Now, again, if you are somebody that travels a lot, or you just go to Expedia and Expedia figures it out for you. That’s different because I was trying to use half points. So I was I had to, I had to manually like, sync things up, right? I did it wrong. Like I did it wrong. And I got the wrong damn flight coming back to London. And I was like, oh my god, I just booked these flights. And that’s wrong. And so I cancelled them. And then I rebooked it as if in the right way. Now. Now I know, again, here’s my point, here, let me bring it home. My point is, is that I made a mistake, and it was still okay. And so even though I made a mistake, I got a level of confidence from it. Because I was able to figure out my mistake, notice my mistake before I was like somewhere else, and then fix it. And I know now that if I do get somewhere else, and there’s a problem, I can fix it. So I knew that on a conscious level before, like, I’m an adult, right? Like, I’m 50 years old, and I got money, like I can figure it out, you have those two things, you can figure it out. But there was something about actually having it happen and doing it. Have you ever had that where you’re like, like, the worst thing happened, and I was fine, right? So I will say, here’s my point and all this, and then I’ll go on to what else I wanted to talk about. But what I want to say is that making decisions really quickly helped build my confidence, and realizing that if I made a mistake I could fix it helped build my confidence. And it helped me create less fear around making the next decision. But none of that could have happened if I didn’t start with some decision. If I didn’t start saying that thing I keep saying I want to do I’m just going to do it. I mean, it’ll figure itself out, it’ll work itself out. That very first decision to like, take that leap and to trust that, that this thing was meant to happen. And if it was meant to be, I really think like, you know, seeing, I saw the tick tock. And then I saw somebody say that there was this open spot, right for this trip to Iceland. Because it was such like a magical coincidence. So I use the word coincidence, loosely. But because it was that, then it allowed me to trust in that instead of the fear. And in the past, if I had just the idea that I wanted to do that, then I could and would have probably come up with a lot of reasons not to. Okay, does all I’m not sure does.

This story makes sense. As I am living this, like in real time. As I’m dissecting like the story about what’s happening to me. And so many times when I am wanting to expand or get to the next level, I think about what does the version of me do that gets to the next level. And one of the things that she does is make decisions quickly. One of the things I teach in NLP is about making decision quickly about how really successful people that’s actually what they do. You know, that book Thinking grow rich, famous book, right? One of the things that the author found, when he was interviewing all of the successful people that he interviewed to make that book come true. One of the things he found was that successful people make decisions really quickly. And if the decision gives them an outcome, they didn’t want them they just make another decision. And I’ve always known that and I have always felt like I made decisions pretty quickly but not with the speed that I have been. So

the whole trip to Iceland led me to be able to make this whole idea about this retreat, this NLP retreat experience come true and to put that together so I want to talk to us a little bit about that. And I want to talk about NLP because you may have heard me talk about NLP and even as your Hearing it now you might be like, I’m not sure what it is that she’s actually saying. So one of the things that I really wanted was to be able to create this, like, really magical vibe, where people come in to this container. And, you know, they are looking out like huge windows onto something like inspiring and beautiful. And I want it to like, smell really good. And I want there to be pendulums and crystals and tarot cards, oracle cards is kind of my thing. So oracle cards, and I want it to be feel like this really supportive container of these people that have come together, not only to personally grow, but to hold space for other people to grow and learn. And I want it to be not just a place where people learn the skills for NLP and, and become great coaches, like, absolutely I want that. But I also want it to be this, like, this experience of alchemy, where they are learning something, and then doing it, learning it and then doing it so that they are having the experience of learning all of these things, and experiencing them so that it becomes a part of who they are. You know, one of the things when I work with people, especially in a small group, people will say like, like you, you ask really good questions, I was just in a group. In my certification, we had a little class where we talked about creating programs. And somebody said in the group, I was in one of your small groups, and it the way you would like hone in on somebody and ask all these questions and like, get into the root of what was happening, like it was so cool to watch, I want to be able to do that. And I think that when we can actually experience the alchemy, experience the change, then it becomes who we are. So we see every situation differently. And then we’re able to do that for others and with others. So I wanted to create this really cool experience. And it was something I had thought about for a long time. And since I was in the action zone of like making decisions and going that’s what I did, so I booked this like amazing, this amazing Airbnb in Sedona and there is this room, it’s almost like a sunroom where the the windows go to the floor and all the way to the ceiling, you know what I mean? And all of the the couches and chairs are like in a semi circle, looking out on this glass beautiful experience this window out. And outside is like Sedona, you know, like the pictures you see of Sedona, like with the big rocks and like the cool. Like, it feels so cool. I’m, like so excited about it. And so I created this whole program around outcome, personal alchemy, and becoming a life changing coach using neuro linguistic programming. So I want to talk for just a minute about about NLP and about what it really is, you know, I did Episode 100, where I talked about NLP and what it is. And that’s a great episode if you want to go listen and learn a little bit more about like NLP specifically. But NLP is neuro linguistic programming. And the reason that everybody is looking for it now, in this time in our lives, the reason people are looking for something that can change them quickly on a deep level is because the world is shifting, and the world is changing. And people are recognizing that they have a lot of baggage and beliefs, and hung over stories from their past that’s holding them back from all of the dreams and ideas that they want for them for their lives. And I think that consumers are smarter, and they don’t want to just sit down with a coach and like talk about stuff or they don’t want to spend 15 years in therapy, like they want to actually have a process and change work that eliminates that crap from their crap sack and allows them to choose what they’re going to believe. And one of the things I talk about a lot with my own clients, and that I identify with myself when I do my own work on myself is what do I believe? And what is it that I’d have to believe in order to have that next right thing? So like if we talk about the Iceland trip again, just because I’ve talked about ad nauseum, you’re really familiar with it. But in order to have that trip happen, I had to be the kind of person that just made decisions really quickly. And in the past, I wasn’t that person. And that’s Oh, come that that experience didn’t happen in the past. Does that make sense? So when we’re when a client comes to somebody that does NLP, and one of the people that I have trained, is they come in, and then they’re like, what is it that you believe? Well, these are all the things and and so many times, in fact, 99% of the time, the things you believe are not in your awareness. That’s what come you’re like, I really want this thing, but it doesn’t never happens. I really want my business to expand, but it never does. I can’t ever seem to get past that one thing, you know, I can’t ever seem to expand into $100,000 a year, I’m always at 89 or 92. Like every year, it’s just blow. Well, that’s not like go coincidence, right? There’s a reason why we do the same things we do. And it’s a safety thing. For whatever reason, I would say that person thinks that once they hit that certain number, something is going to happen. That is unfavorable. And my unconscious mind wants to keep everything exactly the same. Now, when I talk about like, who am I and who do I need to be? I those who I am, is so many times not conscious to people. It’s, it’s just not in your awareness. I was reading in my own journal today. You know, I have a used day one as a journaling app. And so then it’ll show me like, five years ago today, you said this, and six years ago, you said this. And I was reading back, and I was like, this is cringy. To read. Because I was so unaware of now, what is so obvious to me that I was like, like, quote unquote, doing wrong, or that I wasn’t seeing. Right. And so through my process of changing and growth, and having, you know, many breakthrough days with with NLP, it it, it shifted that stuff to me, and I became the person who could do the things that I wanted to do. But when I look back then, and there are things I wanted to do, I know I wasn’t the person who could do them, it’s so obvious to me. And so now I have dreams. And I wrote this in my journal today. I have dreams now for the next five years. But I’m not the person that can do those, like five years from now, I’m going to look back on right now and say, Oh, my God, so cringy she didn’t know she was. So I need to have someone help bring those into my awareness and need to have somebody bring that into my awareness. So that I know. And then I can make those shifts. So I think people right now are drawn to, to, to NLP or to experiences like that, because they’re done talking about it all. They’re done trying to get it to come into their awareness by over talking or overthinking about it. People just want to change and move. And the reason that they do is because right now, that’s where our world is. There’s a lot of change happening right now in our world. A lot of shifts are happening for us on a community level. And so people are feeling that and they want to expand and they want to experience different things, and they want to heal. And one of the things that I think is a huge fear for people is that like, I know, I have this crap to heal, but I don’t want to think about it. Right. And I know because I’ve been to therapists, and I’m not bashing therapists, I have been to therapy. Like, I think it’s awesome for getting you into a level of awareness. And then I think it’s really awesome to be able to switch modalities and heal it without having to rehash it. One of the things I say to my clients is you don’t even have to know what the thing is, like, you know, you’re like I have this awful feeling. I had a client before that said, I have this awful feeling that something’s happened to me, but I don’t remember what it is. And I don’t want to think about it. But I feel like it holds me back. Now whether she had something awful happened to her or not is irrelevant, because she has a feeling that she does. And so that’s all I work with. So I don’t worry about having her know what the story is. It doesn’t matter all I want to do is release the feeling her unconscious mind will take care of the rest. So with NLP and I think one of the reasons people are drawn to it is that it’s so fast. Change can happen so quickly. You can start to see that change in your everyday life. And you don’t have to go through a ton of time and a ton of like negative experience rehashing to get there. You know in Inside the alchemy Institute, my training program, I have several therapists and and I even have two psychologists in there. Because they know that they’re bringing their clients to a certain point and that to have like some change work in their toolbox, right. And so I really feel like there’s this excitement around, like, changing quickly and giving people lots of options and meeting people where they’re at. You know, one of the things, I mean, I trained in a lot of things. So inside the alchemy Institute, it’s NLP, it’s hypnotherapy, it’s emotional freedom technique is deep streaming facilitation. It’s time techniques. Like there’s a lot of things in there. Because we want to meet people where they’re at, we want to be able to give them what they need, no matter where they are in the journey, you know, sometimes people will come to us, and they don’t need NLP, they just need to learn how to listen in. And they haven’t ever learned how to listen in. You know, I send out those text messages. If you guys are on my text list. You know, like once a week, usually I send out a deep streaming from my own work listening to my inner Noor. And I’ve been doing this for, I don’t know, a decade,

I have posted on Instagram the other day, I found some old journals, like I used to write it all down. Now I do it in an online journal. But I used to do it written out and it will say Q and A like question and answer, like, I would specifically ask questions, and then listen, for my interviewer to tell me the answer. And when I go back and look at those, it’s truly fascinating, because it’s, it’s so true. It’s like the things that I told myself, that deep streaming message I got really resonates with how my life is right now. It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s just what, it’s just what I thought was gonna happen, right. So like, it’s been a fascinating journey. And I think that when we have a lot of tools like that, where we can meet people where they are, then we can help to really change the world, the world is ready for shifting. That’s why people are so an uneasy right now, because they’re ready for change. So, before I finish out, I just want to invite you to come in, join me in Sedona do this experience with me, I have level one live in Sedona. And then level two, if you so choose to keep going level two is a hybrid, it’s on Zoom, we’re going to be doing live sessions on Zoom. And then we’ll meet in November for a long weekend in Sedona. So if you want to jump on the phone and talk to me about this, or if you’re just like I know, feel it in your gut, make decisions fast. If you know I want to go to Sedona, those spots are going to feel really quick. And I would love to have you join me learn this work, if not to become a coach, or to enhance your coaching experience that you already have your your program you already have. Do it for a personal journey, right to create change in yourself go through this alchemy in a beautiful place. With a really cool supportive environment, I think it’s going to be I just I’m so excited for it. So it’s in May, if you want to join me just go to my website, you can go to Betsy pake calm, there’s a link there, or you can go right to the content on the alchemy institute.co. So it’s not.com it’s dot co. And all the details are there. But as always, if you want to talk to me about it, just message me shoot me an email, message me on any social media and just let me know. And I’ll send you a link to my calendar, I will be working when I’m in Iceland. So if you even want to talk while I’m in Iceland, that might be extra fun. So I want you to be thinking, you know, as we wrap up here, I want you to just be thinking about where are the things that I need to shift and heal? And who is it that I want to be like in five years, when the version of me that’s doing the thing I want to do when it looks back on me now? What is it going to say? I needed to shift? What is it going to what is that version of me going to say? You needed to be different in this way? What is that version of me gonna say you needed to grow through this or you were avoiding that. Get a lot of clarity around that. Get some help if you need to. You know, I have a whole we’re creating something on the website too. But I have a whole group of people that are moving through my certification. They’re trained by me. And if you are looking for a coach, message us and there’s going to be some more information on the website soon. On the alchemy Institute site so you can actually find a coach that you can work with, that’s been trained by me. But let me know if this is for you. Think about how you need to shift and journal about it, you know, start to just bring it into your conscious awareness. You deserve to have the shift that’s happening in the world to you deserve to be able to have those dreams come into your life. Those things that you want, can actually be yours right now. They can actually start to come into your life. Right now. We don’t have to wait. The biggest mistake we make is thinking that we have time. And that I think, is how you live a big life. So thank you so much for listening. I love you so much. I will see you next week. Bye. Thanks so much for listening today. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit and email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.