310: How Can You Start Seeing the Solution Instead of the Problem?


Think about the places in your life where you think you’re stuck. How can you move forward? Betsy suggests that sometimes all you need to do is get really present. When you are present, you’ll start seeing the options you have available, and they aren’t always something you have to do on your own. Sometimes you may need a team to offer a different perspective to help you shift. Either way, we live in a universe of polarity, which means if you’re stuck, there is another way. If you have a problem, there is an answer.

* Connect with Betsy on IG @betsypake


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Art of Living big this week, I am home I actually recorded this episode, I was in Denver, I’m going to tell you this whole story. But I was in Denver, and I recorded I was trying to move the recording from my phone where I record it with this little this little shore mic, and I was trying to send it to my laptop and my downloads folder was like corrupted I was on with support Apple support for like two days, we finally figured it out. But then somehow it’s not even on my phone anymore. So I don’t know if in the me sending sending sending it did something but I figure it is all for the best. And maybe there was a different way for me to say whatever I said that will be even better. So that’s how we’re gonna start the episode. This is about to be an amazing episode, I guess. So it’s a little bit of a coffee talk episode because there’s a couple different things that I want to tell you. And if you’ve been here for a while, you know how I kind of find meaning, I guess in the every day. And so that’s where we’re going to start. So I the last this past week has been really, really fun. have wondered if I should go back. I’m let’s, let’s travel back in time. Let’s start from the very beginning because this actually might really help you. Alright, so about six weeks ago, you may remember that I did an episode that said I had a really hard six weeks, like I was going through a really hard time, a lot of things were changing. I was feeling like a lot of angst and anxiety, really, I was feeling the anxiety and nervousness. I didn’t even know what it was related to. But I think it was just like an up leveling and stepping into new things. And all of that felt really unsteady and uneasy to me. I did some hypnotherapy, I bought some calm magnesium gummies like I was meditating, I was like doing all the things and, and honestly, all of those things played a part and really helped. And then probably around six weeks ago, my husband and I were talking and we decided that we were going to almost do like a super focus on what it was that we really wanted. Now, I think he kind of went along with it. I don’t know that he has something that he needed to super focus on to get what he wanted. But I know that I did you know, or and I still do I have things that I want to call in my life experiences that I want to have. And so for me, I didn’t want to be like worried about a lot of the things that I was worried about. Now. I’m just speaking for myself, personally. But I didn’t like watching the news, because every time I was watching the news, I was getting really upset. Now there are certain news programs that I really, really like. And there’s certain TV programs that reference the news or talk about things that I really, really like. But for this point, this aspect this time, I wanted to actively shift. And so I wanted to go all in. It’s it’s sort of like the same idea when I do a hypnosis with someone. If I do hypnosis with a client, I don’t come up with like 10 Different things that we’re going to focus on, I come up with one thing. There’s one thing that we’re going to shift, you know, if I was in a dark room, and I wanted to read a book, and I was in the corner of this dark room, but way in the other corner was a 40 watt light lamp with a 40 watt light bulb, I could turn it on it would give some light. But if I was in that way other corner it might still be really hard to read write. But if I was in that corner and in the opposite corner instead of that light bulb, it was the laser the same 40 watts of a laser. I don’t know how lasers might not be watts but 40 things of 40 lasers for a laser beam that much of a laser beam I think it is what that same amount of a laser beam could cut right through the drywall on the opposite end of the cord. Wonder where I’m reading.

So, laser focus, like, like bringing it all in so that you’re not like, shooting out everywhere, you’re just really bringing it in for that season of my life. That’s what I wanted to do. So I said, I don’t want to have anything on that’s not supporting where I want to go. And so for me, if we want to have something on, I want to have just like Abraham Hicks on I may have mentioned this in a previous show that I was listening again to a lot of Abraham Hicks, because I can have it in the background. You know, sometimes you want sound, so I can have happy music, or I can have Abraham Hicks. And he was like, okay, cool. I like to watch videos about amusement parks. That’s like a fun thing for him. He really likes amusement parks. And there’s a lot of really cool videos of like people talking about them, and the construction of them and all that stuff. So he was like, that’s what I’ll have on. I was like, Okay, perfect. So whenever we’re, like, getting ready for dinner, or whatever. And if there’s something on it’s one of those two things, right. So at that time, I was like, we’re only going to focus on what we want. I made little post it notes for different places to remind myself, right, I made a little thing in my shower, which I’m going to do it differently this time. But I made a little thing that I stuck in my shower, so I could read how it was I wanted to feel what it was that I wanted when I was in the shower, because we’re standing there, right like we’re just standing there. And it’s a good time to dream because we’re still kind of sleepy sometimes you know, if we get right in the shower, when we get up, I in the future, I’m going to make another one but I’m going to like cover it in packing tape so that it doesn’t get splashed on. You know how your shower is kind of big you’d like you could have it where it doesn’t get splashed on but mine’s not that big and it gets steamy. So packing tape is the future of my my list in the shower. So that kind of thing. I would I was really concentrating like in the morning when I would journal I shifted from like journaling about all the things that I was thinking about in the morning, I made that much more concise. And I started just writing about how grateful I was for the things that I wanted, as if they had already happened, right. And I started to try to blow out the things that I liked. So like for example, right now I am drinking out of this big mug that I got last week. It says on it untamed as fuck it that’s not necessarily a mug I would buy but I was gifted this mug. And I really like it because it looks like one of those camping mugs. Do you know what I mean? That looked like that. Or like tin with like the black rim. You know what I’m talking about. But it’s not it’s ceramic. And I really liked that. So here’s what I would do is I would say like, I really liked this mug. I like that it’s ceramic. I like that it feels heavy in my hand. I like how big it is like so it’s really, really round. You know, and I like that a lot. I like that I don’t have to worry about my coffee overflowing. If you’ve ever watched any of my Instagram Stories, it’s like a regular occurrence when I make coffee that it overflows of a Nespresso thing and it overflows my damn coffee mugs all the time, especially if I do iced coffee because apparently I put too much ice in. So this mug would not have that problem. It’s so big. I really like the colors. I like the blue. It’s like a bluish teal. I really like teal, that teal reminds me sort of of the ocean. I love the ocean. I love the sound of the ocean and the smell of the ocean. Do you see how like one little thing led me down like a whole kind of rampage of appreciation. So I was starting to do that a lot. That’s where I wanted to put my focus. When I tell you those things started. I just could feel like a shift in the energy. I actually felt so much happier every day. I was having energy for things that I hadn’t had energy for in a long time. And I was just starting to get really good ideas and perspective on a lot of things. Then probably about, I guess now like a week and a half ago, I had hired I had asked on Facebook to get recommendations for a coach for a new business coach. So I always have my husband jokes that I have, like I have so many people, so many people to support me. I have a therapist that I meet with once a week. I have a health coach that I reporting with several times a week. I have a business coach, I have a life coach. Like I have a manicurist I have a pit crew you know what do you mean? Like there’s a lot right? That’s what’s important to me. So I’m not putting my money in maybe places that other people do for me that’s where I put my money, which is great. But I needed a new business coach so I had reached out I ended up getting a name of somebody that was perfect. I got some Any names and I just was like, no, no, no.

I definitely wanted somebody who had already done the things, you know, done the things I really wanted to do. And I found like the perfect person. Okay. So in all of that, I get invited to New York City to go to New York City. And meet one on one sort of like speed dating style, with media from like producers from big daytime talk shows. So one on one with a producer from inside edition, for example, or the Drew Barrymore show, the Sherri Shepherd show, GMA like, like there was like a dozen of them. And it was so fun. I learned so much about like creating pitches and creating pitches specifically for the audience and how I could best serve like each individual show and what they were looking for. I got such good feedback, like the Rachael Ray guy gave me the best feedback, the producer, he’s a long, long time producer of Rachael Ray. And he was basically like, no, no, but I learned more from him from anybody, because he told me why No. And that wasn’t one of my top shows anyway, so it was fine. It was okay with me. You know, like, I didn’t know if I was total fit for that show anyhow. But it was like, his feedback was so good. It was universal for anywhere that I go. And the people that were running the event was the coach and a PR person. And she was amazing. I ended up hiring her and I’m working with her every month. Now moving forward. And yeah, I just, like amazing, incredible things. So I ended up getting this invitation I got on an airplane, like three days later went to New York City, I got to see my wife, I have two very best friends growing up. They were sisters. I have talked about this before. My mom and their mom were best friends. And I mean, I’ve just I’ve known them since I was 18. Like before, I can remember not knowing them, you know. And one of them works in Manhattan, and the other one just happened to be visiting her. So I ended up getting into the airport and just flying straight to my friend Lin’s office, where we all met and we got to go out to lunch. And like it was just, it was how I imagined my life. I wanted to be able to be working and seeing friends and going places like it. I mean, I’m telling you like, it was like, Ah, this is it like this feels so fun. Do I have everything I’ve ever wanted? No, but man, this feels like I do. It really did, really does. So you’ve been listening to my podcast, and you’ve been hearing me talk about ways to master your subconscious. Maybe you’ve been really curious about how you can learn this too, and maybe even create a business of your own to help other people transform their lives as well. If you’d like to become board certified in six different certifications, we have it all for you inside the alchemy Institute, you can go at your own pace with our on demand training, or you can attend live events. Find out more over at our website, the alchemy institute.co. That’s the alchemy Institute, dot C O,

I’ll see you over there. So I get to see them. And then I had a cocktail party and met a bunch of the producers and then the next day, a whole day full of pitching. And then that night one of the people that was on my trip to Iceland, a guy from Italy was visiting. He just happened to be in New York City and we have like a group chat, all of us that went to Iceland. And he was saying how he was in New York City and I was like I’m on the Lower East Side. Where are you and he wasn’t far from me like a couple blocks like we walked home from where we met and we Uber there and then walked home. I say we because my husband went with me to New York, and I got to see him and meet some of his friends. It was just so cool. And then got home that night really late. And then the next day we had like a debrief and I and I flew back to Atlanta. So I was back in Atlanta on Saturday night. I did my laundry and then on Monday morning I flew out to go to Denver for a speaking gig. I spoke for a big insurance company. And it was so fun. I mean it was so fun. Everything about it was so much fun. It was so fun to meet people it was so fun to share my message and have people like excited about what I was saying and learning something new and and shifting, you know their perspective on things. And then I flew flew home I mean, I think I was in Denver like 25 hours, flew home. Got home really late and I’m Yesterday, I just met with clients, which felt so fun. Like I was like, I can meet with Clint. So why am I telling you all this? Because I wanted to tell you about the process, right of like just overdoing it, and blocking out overdoing it in the things I want and blocking out the other things. I, I’m gonna say this, that it took some, I’m going to use the word effort to focus in on that it took some effort, it took effort to like set it up or decide how I wanted that to look. But also, it took flow. It took like releasing the other things because other things came into my mind. Other things came into my awareness that I didn’t want. And I just was like, I’m not entertaining you. Hey, thought about this thing I was worried about. I’m not I see you. I know you’re there. But I’m not entertaining you. So I’m going to instead focus on this thing. And this thing. And I already knew what those things were because I’d written them out. Right. So that like shifting, shifting, shifting, I really think and I know I keep saying this about the comm gummies. If you guys I mean, I think this is like the fourth episode. Why don’t I just get sponsored by calm gummies. But I really think that helped me, because it helped me release the crap and be able to focus because I didn’t get all angsty about it. Do you know what I mean? All right. So now that you’ve got that whole story, it brings me to what I was going to tell you 15 minutes ago, but now maybe it’ll make way more sense. And maybe now you can start thinking about how you can actually do this in your own life. I’m going to start another like I’m using air quotes cycle of this. Because I feel like the magical things that have been happening are in relation to that. Okay, so I want more magic, I like it. Let’s keep the flow going. Right. So here’s what I was going to tell you. When I first started. I went to Denver on Monday. And as I was, I love to travel you if you followed me for any amount of time, I’ve been a lot of places every single month, this year, I have been somewhere for, you know, a few days to several weeks to a month right when I went to Iceland, so

So I have the TSA PreCheck, which you probably have, you probably know what I mean, like you go to some like office before you fly. And you give them your passport and all that and they just like check, they do like a check on you to make sure background check to make sure that you’re good to go and they don’t have to like search everything so TSA PreCheck when you go to the TSA PreCheck line, it means I don’t have to take my shoes off at the TSA security at the airport. It means like I don’t have to take my computer out of the bag. I don’t have to take my belt off. Right? All that stuff that used to really drive me nuts. I would always forget that I was gonna have to take my shoes off. And then I would wear sandals or flip flops to the to the airport in the summer and then I’d be like, Oh my god, I’m barefoot on this like disgusting floor. I I always watch ballerinas you know, when they do that point where they get up all the way on their tippy toe. And I think there’s no way like that is so but I’m pretty sure I could do that there. Because I don’t want to touch the floor. I’m like on my tiptoes as much as I can be right. But TSA PreCheck takes care of all that. And then probably about like two years ago, I got clear. Maybe it was three years ago because it was before the pandemic clear. Basically what clear does is it it scans your eyeballs. So you sign up for clear it scans your eyeballs. And then I don’t even have to show my ID when I get to the airport. So like if I have care I’m carrying on my luggage, I get dropped off, I walk into the security line, they scan my eyeballs and I just walked through like I don’t have to take anything out because I would always be so paranoid, I was gonna lose my license or whatever. But also clear, lets you like cut the whole line. So with clear, TSA PreCheck together, like I mean, it takes me like three and a half minutes to get through security is awesome. But when you go there, they’ll say it’ll say like TSA PreCheck line, the clear line, and then the clear, TSA PreCheck line. So you have to get in line in the appropriate line. You know how those lines are made out of like webbing, like the fence that they have you go through, it’s like polls and then there’s like a strip that’s like webbing that like retracts. You know what I’m talking about. And so you walk into the line and the way that it is is you walk in, you turn Right, right, you know, and then you come all the way back. So the lines like almost doubling back on itself, and then you go forward again. And then you come back again, because they want to have lots of room for lots of people. But when I went on Monday, there was like nobody there, my flight was like at noon. So I mean, it was pretty dead. There was a woman in front of me, going in to the clear, precheck line. And I thought it was so interesting, because I kind of saw her and she was looking at her phone, and like, I don’t know how you can just tell someone’s like, really preoccupied. And she was ahead of me, like quite a bit ahead of me. And then I saw it as she was approaching the place at the end of the thing where you would turn and double back on yourself. She was slowing down, as she was getting closer to the blockade it straight in front of her. I hope this makes sense. And I was like, What is she doing? Why she’s stopping, she’s stopping. So I started kind of going slower, because I was like, Maybe she’ll figure out like, maybe she’s waiting for some, like, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And then as I got like, right up behind her, I didn’t want to pass her because I didn’t want to be like a cutter. But I was like, What is she doing? And then this security guard came up and said, Hey, you gotta go back down. Then she went, Oh, gosh, oh, sorry. And kept, and then turned and went, kept going. And then everything was fine. But I kept thinking about it. You know, how you do. And I thought there was, there was a stop, like a stop part straight in front of her. If she hadn’t looked to the right, which she didn’t, she wouldn’t have known that there was another way to go. She just was looking straight ahead. And she was preoccupied, which God lover, I

have been preoccupied enough in my life. I’m not judging. But I kept thinking about it, because I was like, she wasn’t really paying attention. And so her mind’s eyes saw this blocked aid, and she just stopped. But it wasn’t real. And I started thinking, Where do we do that? Like, where do we have that where it might look? If you were just looking straight ahead, it would look like it’s a block that would seem real, like her reality was that you’re supposed to stop there. And probably somebody’s gonna let you through the little webbing thing, like, you know, they open it up and let you through and then close it back up. Like, maybe that’s what she was thinking. Maybe that was her reality in that moment. But I was far enough back, I could see right and left, and I just been there two days ago. So I knew exactly where to go. I was like, What is she doing? But how many times do we do that? We’re not really looking right or left, we’re just focused so much in on the thing where we’re going, then we go, Oh, my God, I’m stuck. Like, I’m stuck. I can’t move anywhere. I’m standing here forever. Nobody’s letting me through the blockade. Like, where do we do that in our lives? And I know, for me, for me that I do this all the time. There are things that happen, where I think, like, I don’t have any other choices. But the thing about the universe, one of the laws of the universe, is that we are a universe of polarity, which means if you’re stuck, there’s another way, if you have a problem, there’s an answer. That’s just reality. Like that’s the reality is that that’s a law. Anytime there’s a problem, there’s an answer. And so if you’re stuck, because you’re looking straight ahead, and you don’t realize you can take a right and just double back on yourself. Like, it’s okay, because that’s life. But I want you to know, there’s another way that might just be waiting for you. There might be a woman coming up behind you ready? You just shove you along, not not want to pass you. But I think that if we can just back up. And I think that if we can’t get perspective, by being farther back in the line and watching someone else, we can ask ourselves really good questions. And those questions can start to shift us. Those questions can make us aware of what’s right or left. And so some of those questions could be things like, how’s this working for me? What could be good about this right here? I think that when we ask ourselves those questions, all of a sudden, it’s like, what could be good is that I could sit down here, right? You’re at the end of the thing. I could lean on my luggage and rest. And then if I was resting, I might happen to look to my right and see that there’s another way. I want you to think about the places where you think you’re stuck where you think You’ve reached a dead end, or where you think there’s nowhere to go, or where you think somebody else has to come and tell you where to go to save you. Because I think that what you really got to do is just get really present. And when you get really present, you’re going to start to see some of the different options that you have. Because there’s a lot of options. She could have gone under the webbing, she could have opened the webbing herself, she could have come back the way that she was, she could have noticed she could turn right, and still stay in the line. There’s lots and lots of things. So I want to leave you with that thought today. Where in your life, can you expand? Where can you accept where you are, instead of pushing against it? Just say what’s here? For me? This is where I am? What’s here for me? And how can I start to see something new? How can I see the answer where I used to just see the problem? Because you have that in you. And sometimes it takes a team. I have I have a team. And now I have more people on my team. But that’s okay, too. Sometimes we need somebody else to be able to get perspective and to shift and to see things a new way. And I’m telling you what that’s that’s, that’s the magic. Right? We don’t have to do it all alone. We’re allowed to have a pit crew. All right. I love you so much. Have an amazing week, and I will see you next time.

Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.