Where you find value is really important because, ultimately, you are in charge of the value that you get from everything. Today, Betsy shares a quick story that could shift something for you in terms of where you find value. She encourages you to be aware of situations you’re staying in, even after you’ve already gotten what you need. Where is it that you need to shift to take full responsibility for the value you’re getting from everything in your life and what would help you live as the very best version of yourself?
* Connect with Betsy on IG @betsypake
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. Welcome to the Art of Living big. So I have I have lost my mind. Okay, so I, I sat down, I’m like, I’m going to record this episode. And the episode that I’m going to record is actually one that I wanted to share last week, and life just got away from me. So I’m like, I’m going to do this today, I’ve got some time, I’m going to jump in and do this. And when I sit down, I have like a little green marker that shows me like how loud my voice is, you know. So it like goes up as I talk and goes down when there’s a silence. And I can see that it’s moving even though I’m not making any sound. So I’m like, it’s the air conditioner. And I’ve never really noticed my air conditioner before. But now I’m like obsessed with the fact that their conditioner is so loud. So I went and I turned it like air like way up. So it was a higher so that the thing would shut off. But it didn’t shut off. And so then I was like, I’m gonna just change it from auto and just turn it off. I mean, I truck, shut the whole thing off, I shut the whole unit down. Okay. And then I’m like, why is it still showing this green? Why is it still look like I’m talking like, I’m sweating. Now I’m like, been working on this for like 20 minutes trying to get the stupid thing to shut up. And it’s my dishwasher. It is my dishwasher. So I hope that you can’t hear the hum in the background. Apparently, I have hypersensitive ears today. Obsessed with every sound that’s happening. But welcome. Welcome to the show. So all right, so I’ve got a list of things that I want to talk about. And some of the things that I want to talk about, I think are going to be really long, like entire long episodes on their own. And so today, what I want to do is tell a quick story. So I want to tell a quick story, because I’m curious if it shifts something for you, in terms of where you find value. And I think that this is really important because we are ultimately in charge of the value that we get from everything. And when I say everything, I mean that like, you’ve probably heard me talk before about being at cars, and taking ownership of every experience that I have. Now, can things happen, that I don’t want, absolutely. But when I take ownership and I say I’m at cause I get to decide how I feel about this, then that empowers me. And that’s the place that I want to live from. I want to live from a place where I’m really empowered. And one of the things that I’ve been saying the last like couple of weeks at my house is like is that the best version of me? You know, if I do something I say that doesn’t make me feel like the best version of me. Or if I’m, if I if I want to do something and I’m like, I feel like that would be that best version. Right? I don’t want to be somebody else, I want to be the very best version of me and how I see that you know how I experienced that. So, back in, back in February, when I was in Iceland, I had just finished up as a participant of a mastermind and in the mastermind, they had different people that came and presented to us and one of the presenters I really liked and so I kind of started following her and got on her mail list. Now, I wasn’t following very closely, because I just had a lot of things going on. But when she sent out an email, at towards the end of February that she was having a live event in Scottsdale in August. I was like I’m gonna buy a ticket. I know I just started following her but I don’t have at that point. I didn’t have a lot of plans for the year. And honestly Scottsdale sounded really good because I was in Iceland and I was freezing my booty off. So I was like, Oh, the go into the desert like that’s what I want. And so I bought a ticket. And when I say not very expensive. I mean it was like maybe like 550 bucks or something like that which isn’t not thing, right? Like that is still an expense. And I knew that I would have enough points to fly there for free. So that wasn’t a big deal. So I was like the ticket and like two nights at a hotel like this. It’s not a huge expense. I really had an intention that I wanted to connect with other entrepreneurs. And I thought this would be a really good way to do that, and get to see what this event is all about. So long story short, a couple months go by I’m, I’m on the woman’s email list, but I’m really not following her. She seems like she’s got a lot going on. She seems really cool. But it just never really like resonated or or dropped in with me. So I was telling my girlfriend about it. And she said, Well, I’ll go with you. And I was like, Well, that would make it fun. So let’s do that. And so that’s what we did. So it came time to head to Scottsdale got on an airplane came to stay at it was at a JW Marriott, which, if you guys have ever stayed at I don’t know if this is just an Arizona thing. Maybe it is last year, or maybe it was two years ago last year. Last year, I went to the Phoenician so I did one of my weekend by myself solo weekends in Scottsdale. And I went to the Phoenician and I stayed there for like four or five days, all by myself and I meditated. And I wrote and it was really, really amazing. And it was like these little villas. So it wasn’t like a hotel. It was just like all of these one storey like little huts for lack of a better word right all around the property. So when I got there to Scottsdale, it was the same kind of thing. But bigger. It was way bigger. It was very cool. If you ever want a place to go, I really liked Scottsdale like I really like Arizona. And Scottsdale. I think it’s really cool. So anyway, hot, it was hot. And I live in Atlanta. I was like, Well, why is it so steamy here in the desert. Apparently in Scottsdale, the humidity is higher because everyone waters their lawn. Yeah, I didn’t know that. I learned that. So it’s humid, it’s hot. I’m in the middle of the desert. And I am here for this event, which is really for somebody that I haven’t really been following. And I don’t really know that I resonate. Now. I’m going to preface all of this by saying that this person that is running this event is amazing. It’s amazing what she’s built. It’s incredible what she’s doing. The people that go went to the event, so great and nice and go getters pretty young and go getters at such a young age and incredible. There is zero that I could complain about, about the event, but hadn’t really been following. And and so I was apprehensive. You know, I’m an introvert. You’ve heard me talk about this before. I love people and I’m not shy. But there’s a certain like, I’m not like a I don’t know how to dis like I’m not like a rah rah rah. I’m more of like a contemplative, like, go to Dr. Joe Dispenza kind of person, right? So the first night was like a pajama party. And if you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that I even got pink pajamas. Now I’m not super girly. And this was really way outside my comfort zone. Like my friend APR. And I was hysterical laughing going in like we were having fun, but I was like, This is not something I would typically do. And at the event, it was very girly. Like they had a glitter station and a manicure station, like so cool. Nothing wrong with it. Nothing. It just wasn’t like how, like, I wasn’t. I don’t know, I just was uncomfortable almost to me. And so I was like, do I do I come the next day for the event? Like do I do I come to the event? And I’m like, I came all the way here. And so April and I talked about it and I was like yes, like let’s go let’s let’s try like I’m open to anything. I always believe that there’s so much that we can learn. So you’ve been listening to my podcast and you’ve been hearing me talk about ways to master your subconscious. Maybe you’ve been really curious about how you can learn this too, and maybe even create a business of your own to help other people transform their lives as well. If you’d like to become board certified in six different certifications, we have it all for you inside the alchemy Institute. You can go at your own pace with our on demand training you or you can attend live events. Find out more over at our website, the alchemy institute.co. That’s the alchemy Institute, dot C O, I’ll see you over there. I also know that my time is really precious to me. Now, I had already blocked out time to be at this event. But this is how I this is just how I view my life. Okay, so I have, I don’t know how many hours of my life I don’t know how many days, months, years, I don’t know. And so it’s all really precious. And so if I’m doing something where I’m like, I don’t really want to be doing this, then I just stop. Like, if it doesn’t fit, I have obligations. I do my taxes every year, even though I don’t really want to do it, right. But when there are things that has been a choice, I always say everything is written in pencil. I can change my mind about anything. And so when we got there, I was really trying, I’m gonna say it this way. I was trying to be open minded, but I felt some constriction because I don’t know, I felt really good being there. But something wasn’t. I felt really good being there, like in Scottsdale in the desert, but there was something just not right. Okay, so something wasn’t clicking. Now. I’m gonna say it again. The woman running this event like fabulous her outfit. I mean, she had celebrity vibes, right, like, so inspirational, like amazing. The women that I met, like standing in line for stuff like, amazing, like really amazing. I met a couple people that listen to the podcast, and that was so fun. And I and I was like, what is that? What is it about me that is like, this isn’t what what I need today. And what I started to feel was that the event, the part of the event that I was at was I am going to say it this way, but this might not really be the best description. But it was it was like the hype part. You know what I mean? Like the motivational part, like, like, like bringing up the energy, and there was a lot of like dancing and stuff like that. And that wasn’t what I needed. You know how sometimes you’re just like, this isn’t what I need. I have been to a lot of events, and this is this, okay, I’m gonna say this, but this is gonna sound give me grace, okay. But when I was listening, I was like, this isn’t anything new. I mean, a lot of the stories even that they were telling, I was like this, I know this. I teach NLP neuro linguistic programming. I teach communication. And I was struggling with some of the messaging. Okay, for me, it doesn’t. My headspace it is where I was at. But the point that I want to make is that I recognized that it, it doesn’t have to say it doesn’t mean anything about the event. It had to do with me that I wasn’t in alignment. And I wondered like, how many times are we doing something where we’re like, this isn’t in alignment. Like, I know, this doesn’t feel good. And it doesn’t have to be a big event. Like, it could just be a task that you’re working on, or a book that you’re reading, like, do you start a book, and then you’re like, I have to finish and you’re like, I don’t even like this. I can’t even tell you how many times in my life, I’ve done that where I’m like, I have to finish because I started it. But I I’ve learned that maybe, maybe it’s the first part of the book that I needed. You know, maybe it was those first couple chapters, maybe it was the act of starting it. That was what I really needed. And when I was sitting in that event, I was like, this isn’t what I need. This is great. This is great. But if I’m at cause, if the value that I get is up to me, then I’m going to extract the value that I’ve gotten, and I’m going to bring it I’m going to bring it to the pool, gonna, like make a bunch of lists and plans. And so here’s what I decided while I was there and my friend April and I decided to leave at lunchtime. We went and got lunch and then we sat by the pool and we dreamed so big. Was the event worth it for me? Oh my god. 1,000% I’m gonna tell you why. Even though I didn’t attend the whole second half of the day. That’s that big day. It was worth it because I got to see that. One woman one very little blonde woman was able to create Eat this really extraordinary event, I was able to see that someone could be totally in their feminine and be really powerful. And honestly, that’s a place where I have really struggled. And so I got to see that shown to me, I get to see that we can take like nothing and build a huge community and find a place to connect, and that people will come from all over. Because they feel called to the message and, and that one little blonde woman can make all of that come together. You know, I learned that there is there is a. So this is gonna sound kind of funny. But I learned that the when I, when I speak when I go and I speak at companies or nonprofits or at events like that, that my message is really powerful, because it’s really different. And I might not have noticed that before. And so when April and I went back to the pool, and we just started dreaming, we started thinking about my programs, and how could they be amazing? Like, what could we do with the alchemy Institute, which is where I train life coaches, like, how can I make that like incredible. And then I was like, I could do a live event like that. But then I was like, I could make it free. I could make it free to all the people that go through the program, like I could make it part of a membership, where they come in, and they get they learn all the things. And then they get like, there were so many things, where I was like, if what really could propel us forward as a community, I could create a different way to create community inside my groups. Like if there is if it is like connection and networking with entrepreneurs, I can create that. Like, if this isn’t the place where I felt, then there must be other people that wouldn’t feel like that was the place for them. And they might be looking for a place to expanded what I thought was possible. Now I could have gone to that event with like a bad attitude, which I think you could almost say like my attitude. I don’t think you could say it was bad. But it was not geared towards being positive about the event, right? Like I was kind of like this isn’t, I’m just tired. I was like, this isn’t what I need. I didn’t need hype that wasn’t, it’s just not where I am. So like, I could have gone and been like, oh, this stinks. I could have made myself sit in the seat and been uncomfortable. And mad about it. I could have been like that I don’t you know, I could have had a lot of things happen. If I had stayed? Would I have gotten some good nuggets? Absolutely. Absolutely, it would have been impossible not to. But I also realized that I could get even more of what I needed by being ready to accept what I didn’t want to see. And really what I didn’t want to see was that you can be in your feminine, and you can build something like that. It is one area of my life that I’ve really struggled. I joke sometime not in a good way. But I took some time that I’m really in my masculine a lot. It’s why I work so hard towards flow. And you see I say work so hard, because I have to be in my masculine when I tell you that. And I thought and that’s okay. Because I can grow gives me room to grow and expand. And I if I hadn’t gone there, I wouldn’t have been able to witness that. And that was really important for me on where I am right now on my journey. So when I got back, I was like, What do I need. And what I needed was one on one time with a really great coach. And so I hired someone, I’m going to fly out and spend a whole day with her. Did it cost more than me sitting in that seat in Scottsdale, absolutely a whole whole whole lot more. And I’m gonna get exactly what I need. So I want you to think about what it is that you’re sitting in the seat, when you’ve already got your lesson. Where is it that you need to shift and go get what it is that you really need? And can you take full responsibility for all the value that you’re getting from everything in your life? And what would make the best version of you? How can you be living that very best version? Because I think when you can evaluate that, and dare to make the shift. That is how you live a big life. Thank you so much for listening this week. I love you guys so much. I’ll see you next week. Bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes, I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tiktok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.