332: How to impact your outcome


In this episode Betsy shares how to impact your reality so you can begin to experience something new, something magical and something that speaks to your greatest vision for your life.


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big

hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the show today. So my windows are open. I can hear the birds like I’m so happy. I feel like it is signs of spring on its way. I mean, we are already in February, right? Yeah, February. Oh, my gosh, I feel like this year is like hustling hard moving through things really fast. And I’m not mad about it. I kind of like it kind of feels good. I remember other years, I think it was last year, two years ago. I don’t know. Because of COVID. I feel like I lost a lot of time. But I remember there was a January where everybody was talking about how long it was. And it was like August, but it was still January, not this year. Like it’s moving right along. Okay, so I want to tell you about this. And I might have mentioned this before, if you’re in my Facebook group, which is if you put in the art of living big.com, it’ll forward you right to the Facebook group. But it’s called The Art of Living big community.

So if you’re in there, you know, I’ve been doing this, this, like little challenges. And I think I’ve talked about it on the show. But basically, the idea was like, I didn’t know that I had some like, big overarching goal for the year. And it felt good to not have one. And I wanted to have new experiences. Like that was really what it was about, I wanted to have new experiences. And so I know the best way to do that is to change little things. And so I thought I’m going to do these little challenges. And so every month I have a new challenge, and I share it with everybody. And then

yeah, and then people can join me if they want to or do their own version of it or, or just watch what happens. So last month, the live big project challenge was doing like a intention, but in a really specific way.

And then this month,

it is seven days of dance parties. Now the interesting thing about this was, I’ve always been one to do intentions, I’ve always been one to do dance parties, like turn on music and just like let music move through me. But what’s different is that I’m doing it seven days in a row intentionally. And what I have found is that well, two things I found. One is that I would do the dance parties when I felt good.

Right? Like I would do a dance party because I’d feel good. And I’d be like, I’m going to put on music and dance around. Or if I was like, had been working and sitting. And so I would stand up and then I’d be like, let me do a dance party and move my body around.

But having it as a seven day thing where I have to wear I have to do it. Seven days in a row, right? I mean, that’s the challenge I’m choosing to

makes me do it at times where I wouldn’t have. And what I realized was I do dance parties when I’m happy. But what I need to be doing as dance parties, when I’m not as happy, right when I’m like struggling or when it’s hard. And I’ll tell you that, like last couple days, I just haven’t felt very good. And I’m just kind of rundown and not sleeping great. And in the morning, I’m like, Okay, I gotta get going, I got to give me that other cup of coffee, and I’m gonna get to work. And I’ve been working on this really huge project.

If you’re a therapist, I’ve got something for you coming. But I’ve been, I’ve been I’ve been working on this huge project. And when I started the project, they said it’s going to take eight weeks, and I was like, I’m gonna do it in three. And so I have been, like, just nose down doing this, like I canceled appointments with people, I cancelled. Like those times I’ll meet up with friends that are entrepreneurs and touch base and like all of that cancelled. Like, hey, I’m focused, right? And so in the morning, I’m like, I gotta get to work and I’m like, no, no, I gotta have a dance party. And the couple days where I really didn’t feel like doing it were the days where it honestly had the biggest impact. It rose my vibration now, I want to tell you why this is important also. Now that ice

are talking the leaf blowers have come outside? You know, I think I’ve mentioned that before that the leaf blowers only come when I’m recording Hang on one second. Oh my goodness, okay, so everything’s closed up. So now, you shouldn’t be able to hear the leaf blowers. But here’s why that’s really important is because how I am creating,

how we are doing, the thing that gets us to the end result

is how we experience the end result.

So let me say it this way, if you have a goal in mind, and you are struggling to get to the goal, and you are like pushing, and it’s uncomfortable, and you hate it, and you’re like, I just have to get to the end, when you get to the end, it’s going to feel bad.

But if you are creating and having fun, and even when things are going sideways, you’re like there’s something to learn. And I am flowing with all of this. And it’s hard. So I’m going to stop and have a dance party,

the end result is going to feel better, the end result is going to feel good, the result you’re you get will be different.

And I know, you know, I’ve had people argue with

I remember years ago, I was in a group that was like NLP master prac group. And, and somebody that was like a, somebody I looked up to in the group was like arguing with me about that. And I was like, oh, no, like, you’re missing the whole thing. Like, I know, we say like it is the journey. But it’s not just because most of our life is the journey. Right? Most of the time, we’re in the journey, the goal comes, and honestly what happens to you, when you hit the goal, what happens immediately, probably you pick a new goal, like the next thing. Now I want this thing, which is totally normal. We are like,

seeking that we are, you know, pieces of consciousness that are seeking variety. So it makes sense that that’s what you would do. But if that’s true, most of the time, we’re in the getting of the goal,

the journey, and I kind of hate that the whole thing, like it’s all about the journey, like, but the truth is, is that we’re in it most of the time. But the end result,

the end result is indicative of how the journey went.

You know, this weekend, my husband and I went to go check out this little town. If you follow me on Instagram, you saw me posting about it. It was like this little Hallmark town. I mean, it was so cute.

It was it was just this little like

it was this little town, I wouldn’t even say it’s a suburb of Atlanta, it’s outside of Atlanta, but it’s hardly a suburb, I don’t think people that live there, come into the city to work. And I’m not sure if you’ve been here a while maybe you heard me say my husband got a new job at a new DHS office that’s outside the city. So this little town is on the other side of that, right? So he would be coming in instead of going out.

And we thought like maybe there’s something there, like maybe finding the place where we want to be

is, is like is is really good. You know, maybe that’s like we spend the next six months and we just go check out little places and see where we want to be. And I have actually really liked being where we are. And I realized that we were starting to talk about the things we didn’t like about where we are. Because we were getting contrast, right? We were comparing and say, Well, I really don’t like this, I want to be able to let the dog out the backyard. So I really think we want to buy a house not a condo, right? So like getting that clarity.

But I also realized, we have to really pay a lot of attention to appreciate and celebrate and be happy right where we are. Because if we hate where we are, we’re going to bring that uncomfortableness wherever we go. And now that I think it’s such a tangible

explanation or tangible example. And you might be thinking now, like if you don’t like where you are, you go somewhere else, and then you’re better.

But what would happen is we’d buy a little house, right with a backyard, and then there’d be a hole in the fence or the cupboards in the kitchen would be a weird configuration or I would, we’re attracting where we are. So even though I want to be able to find the contrast and say this could be improved. It would feel fun to be able to let Henry the dog out the backyard in the morning. And so we started changing how we were saying instead of a

hate not being able to let Henry outside, it’s such an inconvenience in the morning. Instead, we started saying, it would feel so fun to be able to just open the door and let Henry out, well, we got ready in the morning, and he could play outside, or you’re gonna have a doggie door and he could go in and out that feels so good. Do you see how that’s different from like, hating where you are. And so going back to the dance party,

like when we are in a place where we’re working on something, and we’re struggling, or we hate our boss, or somebody’s driving us crazy, or a project is really hard, or you got too many projects,

have the dance party rate light in it, because you’re going somewhere,

you’re going somewhere and where you’re going, is going to look a lot like where you are.

If you’re on my text in my text community, so if you’re in the US or Canada, you can just text me just text Hello, or live bigger, whatever 2770343 3409. And then like once a week, usually once a week, unless I have nothing to tell you. I won’t just I won’t just text you for no reason. But I will send out a message that I get in my deep streaming. So this morning’s message is so aligned with all of that, and really what I wanted to talk to you about. And here’s the message, I’m just gonna read it.

Yesterday’s action got you here, release its hold on you decide what reality you choose and take the actions to meet that where it is, your next reality will follow with so much more ease than it would take to stop and detangle the past.

Because we get here, and then we’re like, Ah, I gotta figure all that out. But maybe, maybe detangling all of the things that have had a hold on you isn’t necessary. Maybe you could just say, You know what the reason I’m in this position right now, the reason I’m where I am. Because I didn’t have enough dance parties. The reason I’m where I am, is because of everything that I’ve done in the past. Everything that I’ve thought every buddy that I’ve spent time with every everything. That’s what today is it’s not what I’m doing right now. The experience that I’m having right now is based on all this past stuff. So I can just say

this, I this is I’m the contrast of this is no. So I’m gonna go ahead and just let it go, I’m gonna have a dance party, and I’m going to focus on the reality that I want. And then that reality will start to come to you, it’ll start to find its way to you. You don’t have to detangler undo all of the other stuff.

You can just focus on where it is you want. Now,

is that an oversimplification? Right, because you might be like, I have trauma I have. Yes, I, I understand. There have been things that I have had to release, right, a lot of, you’ve probably I mean, you’ve probably heard me talk about it.

Having to like overcome, and, and, and shift a lot of things and release negative emotion and all of that thing. All of those things, I think have a lot of lot of value. I also think in every day,

if we’re looking at where we are, and we’re like, I don’t like this cool. Pick what else you want. Pick and have a dance party, put it in the cosmic cosmic crock pot, and just put your roller skates on.

I think and I’m including myself in this 1,000%. But I think that we make it way too hard.

So what I’ve been noticing, since I’ve been doing the dance parties is that I’m not

it has become the clarity to notice the hunches and where I have to take action. So you know, lots of times people ask me like, Well, okay, well, if I’m supposed to take aligned action to get to where I want to go, how do I know?

And, and I and I have struggled with this too. There have been times where it is so clear. Last year, remember when I went to Iceland, I mean, I knew like it was like a wave that came over me like this is what I’m supposed to do.

And I had something recently that happened where I was on an airplane and I was getting ready to go. I was when I was getting ready to go to Baltimore.

And I got this wave of that’s what I’m supposed to do. And so I started doing it and focused on it.

winning all in, all in, I’m not trying to, I’m not second guessing I’m not thinking about it, I’m just nose down and working on making it happen. Because I got that wave, because I got into the vibration of where it was.

I talk about this a lot. But you know, there are infinite number of things happening around us all the time, but your brain, my brain, our brains cannot process it.

can’t process it. So your unconscious mind is taking in all this information and it has to sift through. So it’s almost like if you could imagine like a big a mailroom, and all this mail is like coming down the chute. And your unconscious mind is standing there. As all this mail is coming in the chute. And it’s sorting and sifting through and stuff to the right to the left to the right to the left. And it’s making a decision really, really fast. Because it has to because your life depends on it. And it knows if a package comes down that’s green. And you always take the green packages like it knows as soon as it sees green, it’s like give it to her. This is I don’t have to think too much about this. I already know that’s a safe package. Right? It’s got glitter on it. She likes that throw it to her. Right. So sorting, sorting, sifting, sorting, sifting, sorting, sifting. So you’re always getting the same thing.

You’re always getting the same thing. Think about it. I mean, I’m including myself, I gotta tell you the reason I’m even thinking about all this stuff is because I’m in because I’m including myself, okay, so my brain does that to that is totally normal.

But if I want

to have something new, if I want my reality look to look different.

It’s not

because it’s not available.

It’s not not happening because you don’t get that kind of option. That’s not it. The reason it’s not happening is because you’re sorter and sifter is giving you what it thinks you want. And why it thinks you want that is because you’re so focused on all the past and detangling all the crap that it’s like that’s familiar.

So if you started really dance, partying it up and celebrating right where you are

getting really into that high vibe thing.

Then your unconscious mind is going to be sorting and sifting going after she likes dance parties, she likes all the stuff on the level of a dance party. Which might mean it’ll mean something different to everybody. Right? To me, it’ll mean ease at work more fun, travel adventure, cool people coming into my experience, right? Like that’s like, like fun, everyday stuff I want. I sure I want like a big huge trip to the beach like Yeah, but more even more, even more. I want like adventure in the every day.

Miracles. Life should be one miracle after another every single day.

My sorter and sifter has to know that I’m looking for the packages that have sparkle.

And if I’m focused on all the crap, and I’m gonna wake up, and I’m overtired, and I’m focused on that, I mean, then that what that means is that I’m human.

That’s what it means.

But you’re not listening because you’re like everybody else.

Like that. I know. 1,000%

you’re listening, because you know that there’s potential in you that’s untapped.

You know, that there’s like genius in you that can find and sift and sort to bring you miracle after miracle after miracle. You wouldn’t be listening to this. You’re on the vibration of this with me.

Because that’s who you are.


dance party it up. It’s a way to begin to shift what the sifter and sorters looking for what the skin what what it’s scanning for. Maybe just for a little while, stop to untangle your past stop worrying about it.

And just say my reality right now is because of what I used to do,

but out now, today, I’m creating the new thing magic is coming to me today, because I’m creating the new thing now.

The experience that I might have like this hour is because of yesterday, because I put a bunch of stuff into the sifter and sorter program.

But now I’m, I’m, I’m changing and I’m allowing new things to come in the

I’m welcoming new things, and I’m scanning for new things. And I’m getting excited and delighted. In every day, little things.

This morning, I walked over to the grocery store, because I’ve been working on this project and like, I mean, like 12 hours a day, like really working on it. And it’s, and I say working. It’s like, I’ve been having so much fun with it.

And yesterday, I had no food like I was,

I’ve been on this little bread making thing. So I had like, some bread from the other day, but I was like, oh my god, I can’t like keep eating bread.

I was like, I gotta go get food. So this morning, I got up. And I mean, I was tired, I got cramps. I just was like, I don’t dance party, dance party. And then I walked over to the store. And then I started to notice, like, the air felt really good. It felt good or walk, like I could feel my muscles. And I felt it felt good to like move. Like my hips, it felt good to move my hips. I think maybe because I’ve been sitting so much, you know, I’ve been standing and sitting at a standing desk, stand, sit, stand, sit, but it doesn’t matter. You’re still standing in one place. So it felt good to like move, you know. So I started noticing that

I got some new elastic that I’ve used as shoelaces, and my Chuck Taylors, so I don’t have to tie my shoes, I can just slip them on and off.

It’s it feels so fun to me. Right. So I just celebrated, like looking down and seeing these

crazy laces. And I think it’s fun. I think it’s fun that I don’t have to tie my shoes anymore.

I found it fun to like walk over to the grocery store, it was fun to be able to walk and carry my bag. And it was fun to walk around. Nobody was in there. It was so early, it felt fun to be in the grocery store with nobody, I got to look at all the stuff and the labels and see new stuff without feeling rushed. Or like I was in somebody’s way.

There was a woman that was there in the frozen food section when I was getting my frozen fruit. And she asked me if I’d ever had these kinds of chicken nuggets.

And I told her that those are plant based. And she didn’t really speak English. And so

I felt like she was really struggling, you know, in the store. And one of the things that makes me happiest is if someone asks for my help. So I got to show her how there was a little plant on it. So that whole section was vegetarian. She knew what the word vegetarian, she didn’t know what I meant when I said plant. And so I showed her the other chicken nuggets that were actually chicken. And she was so appreciative. And then I saw her in a couple other aisles and she said thank you again for that one little chicken nugget thing. And I realized that we’re moving so quickly, we don’t notice each other you know what I mean? Like we don’t offer to help or be part of it, because we’re so focused on like, kind of what’s going wrong. You know what, how we gotta get this thing gonna get to the next thing.

But the dance party started shifted, it made me in a really good mood. There was other people in the aisle, but the lady chose me.

Because I felt different.

Right? It wasn’t proximity. Other people had been closer.

Right. So that was something that I that was was really fun. So there is little fun things miracles miracle after miracle after miracle happening.

And so we just have to remember it. So get in the space, where you remember getting the space where you’re having a lot of fun in the journey and you’re experiencing all of the goodness that’s happening right now, you will reprogram your sifter and sorter to give you more of that. And when you do, the journey becomes so much more fun.

That the goal just comes naturally.

And that is how I think you live a big life. I love you guys so much. Thank you for being here. And I will see you guys next week. Bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy if you want me

Hey Just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.