338: Proof of life - Betsy Pake

338: Proof of life


When Olive goes out with friends I’ll text her (even though she is a grown person who doesn’t live with me šŸ˜¬ ) “Proof of Life”…. and then once she gives me a thumbs up, I feel like I can go to bed and sleep okay.

I started thinking about this last week with the anniversary of my mom dying…. she can’t ask me “proof of life” but if I asked myself, How would I know?

How would I know I’m REALLY living?

I talk about it on today’s show. Listen in!


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big

doubt and they are like changing out the carpet or something. Oh my god, I swear. But I think it’s I think it’s good. I think we’ll be okay. I got a lot to I got a lot to talk about today. So like we got to get going. So, welcome to the show. If you’re new here. Hi. Thanks for being here with all these other fellow adventurers. Every once in a while, I like to explain what I mean by fellow adventurers. But I believe that we are here as pieces of source or

spirit beings, levels of consciousness that have come into this physical experience to have an adventure. So the ups and the downs, we are all about it. We love the feelings and emotions, because that’s part of the whole experience. So welcome, welcome, welcome. Okay. First of all, this past week, April was here, if you guys know April is who I call the magical unicorn that works with me. She was on the show, sometime maybe last month, when we did the AMA episode. But April came in from Las Vegas, we were here together like three days, and just really did a ton of organization and planning and all kinds of stuff. It was so good. And at one point, I was like, you know, we were talking about social media and planning. And I was like, I’ve talked about on the show, before of whooped, openly talked about how sometimes I have like a cramp about social media. Like I don’t want to do the things that don’t feel like me, you know what I mean? And so I’m finding my balance in that has been something where I’ve had to avoid, I’m going to say avoid, I’m going to look away from what I should like, quote, unquote, be doing should be doing. And I’m just doing the things that feel aligned, even though it might not be what you’re supposed to do. Anyway, I feel like my engagements gone up, I feel like it’s working because it feels way more aligned. And I’ve noticed this since I have stopped resisting the idea of doing other things starts to feel so much better, right? So we were getting ideas for reals, that actually felt fun. Instead of like, I don’t want to do a skit or dance and point at things. It was like something else, which I want to pause for a second and say if you do skits on reels, or you dance and point at things on reels, I love that I watch those. I am not saying anything about people that do those. I’m just saying for me. As a 51 year old, it doesn’t feel like doesn’t feel aligning, whether it has anything to do with my age or not, I don’t know. But I’ve had 51 years of experience, and I know what feels good in my body and what doesn’t, and that doesn’t, but I love it if it feels good for you, especially if you’re like having fun, go have fun. So, but in all that April and I were talking, and I was like maybe we could post reviews, like if we’ve gotten any reviews on the podcast, like I don’t even know. And I went to the reviews and you guys have left than like, the nicest reviews, like Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, I was I, I want to say I was shocked. I was it was so nice. So thank you, for those of you who left like a really heartfelt review, it means so much to me. And you know, I’ve I’ve said this before, but sometimes I’m talking into into the ethers. And it’s so great to hear that what I’ve said actually mattered, you know, I just was really nice. So thank you for that. And if you haven’t left a review, you could make my day, go and leave a review. We’re gonna highlight some of them on our Instagram. So it just felt fun to actually have an idea and then go to it and be like, oh, there actually is something to back up that idea. So thank you. Okay, so now I have to like announcements. So don’t fast forward because because you’re gonna want to hear these and then I’m going to dive into what I have to share today. So I have two cocoons available. One of them might be gone cocooned days are a six to eight hour session with me, where we completely reorganize one area of your life. So we reorganize it on the layer of your unconscious mind. That’s why it takes so long and it’s very intense. We do it

All at once. Sometimes I do them live, sometimes I do them on Zoom, I can give you all the details. If you are serious and you want information about that, just shoot us an email or like DM me on any Instagram, you know, or any social media, Betsy pake, or email us at support at Betsy pake.com. And I will see it and I will send you an invitation with everything that you need to know. And then you can make a decision. So to cocoons available, maybe just one and I’m going to be doing those in

late April and May. Okay. The next thing is last week.

Last week, I talked about releasing negative emotion and how we have like these top five negative emotions that typically hold people back or hold people in place. And so many other things I think get layered on top of those, that the negative emotion,

it starts to distort what’s happening. And it makes things that aren’t that big of a deal become a bigger deal. And here’s what I mean by that is that

if I have never released anger, I’m going to explain what I mean by released. But if I’ve never released anger, I’m driving and somebody cuts me off. And then I get insanely mad, like way more mad than would be the situation. Right? That is because I have anger that I haven’t released, that is allowed to come out in that moment. It’s like it has like a release valve. It’s built up built up, somebody cuts me off. And then my brain goes, Oh, I can just let this out, you know, and so then we get really angry and it doesn’t match. Like the situation. I see this a lot for myself, like in my relationships, like with my husband, God love him, like, I’ll notice I’ll be like, Oh, I have something to release there.

And so typically, there are, there are five, like Bayes negative emotions that tend to skew this experience of our lives. Now, those top five emotions, all emotions, Gestalt, which means they string together sort of like a pearl of string of pearls, so that they’re all connected. So when I get cut off in traffic, it pulls along the entire string of pearls. And so if we can release the emotion, from the very first time that we ever felt that emotion, not the first time you think you felt it, right, because you’re thinking of a significant event. But the very first time you actually felt anger, sadness, fear, hurt, guilt,

then, when you get cut off in traffic, there’s nothing. It’s like, Oh, what a jerk, then you can move on, right? So when you can release these emotions, I mean, a gate changes your whole life. It changes your whole life. So last week, I was talking about this. And I was saying how if you’re in the collective, there’s a way to work with me to release these emotions. And then over the weekend, I was releasing emotions on my own, I had some emotion that I thought was shame that I needed to release. And so I did that work. And how we do it is with NLP. So it’s not tapping, it’s through NLP. And it’s something called time techniques. So I got thinking, what if we did, like a zoom event? So like a live event on Zoom,

where we took 90 minutes, and we released this emotion as a group, sort of like going to like a group breathwork work class, you know, where you release all that emotion? Have you guys ever been to a breathwork class? I do those sometime in my groups, but it is so cleansing because you release so much, like built up pent up emotion. And so I thought, can I do this in a group? And so I’m going to do it. I’m going to try this. Now. Here’s the thing. I, I think and I’m kind of, I’m setting myself up to follow through, okay, but I

I’m having surgery on March 30. You guys might remember me talking about how I have a deviated septum or a thickening of my septum. I don’t know how gross that is. I’m sorry. I just put that image in your mind, but I have to have my nose fixed. Okay, so on March 30, I’m going in to have my nose fixed. I have to be there at one o’clock. You could send me good vibes. I did see something that said the surgery was 230 I think he said, but I gotta be there at one or 330 something like that. Just think of me put your calendar Okay.

So then I thought let’s do it before, because I think that would help you sooner. And I think like the good vibes of that helped me to write like it would it was making me feel really good. Okay, so I have not set this up, I have not put it on my website, nothing. But here’s where I’m going to put it. If you go to Betsy pake.com, I’m writing it out. So I don’t forget how I said it. And then slash


Okay, so slash emotion. There, I will have. And let me just check and make sure I have nothing else there. I can’t imagine I do, but you just never know. And then that would be very sad.

So if you go there, your page not found, okay. So I will put the page there, I will put

a sign up there. Now, I am going to offer I’m only going to do 10 people. Because I’m going to do this for the first time will I do it again, possibly. I’m going to see how this goes. But I’m only going to take 10 people. And so I’m going to offer it to the people inside the collective first, right? Because that makes sense. If you’re not in the collective, you can join us just go to

Betsy pake.com/collective. This is my year long group coaching program, where every week I teach, there’s all kinds of stuff, you could see it, you’ll get access to all my courses, but I’m gonna offer it to them first, but just for like 24 hours for them to sign up, and then I’ll post it on there. So by the time you’re listening to this, it should be if there are spots left, it should be live on my website. If there’s not spots left, I will put something there that says there’s no spots left. But

you could insure yourself a spot if you’re in the collective. So I’ll make sure everybody that wants to come in, in the collective gets in. Okay, no matter even if it’s 12 of us, that’s fine, if it’s people in the collective. Alright, so I’m going to do this live event. If you want information on the cocoon, just message us and we’ll get you the information on that. Alright, so let’s Okay, so this is the thought that I’ve been having.

Alright, so

my, my mother in law, actually had like a, I’m gonna say she got sick, she had a situation, she got sick, whatever she was in the hospital. And then she got out of the hospital, and I was checking on her. So she lives in South Carolina. I live in Atlanta. And I was checking on her. And mostly just like, you know, like that moment where you’re like, are you okay? Like, I just want to make sure you’re doing okay, do we need to come there to help you like all of that stuff. And, you know, she was fine. She didn’t seem worried about it at all. And so I was like, sometimes things are like, kind of routine things like I’m having my nose fixed, right? And I say, fixed. I’m out so I can breathe. I’m having my nose fixed. So I can breathe. And it’s not that big of a deal. Like people could be checking in with me. And that would be nice. But like, it’s, it’s fine. It’s like routine, right? So same kind of thing. But she lives alone. And so I had this thing where I was like, proof of life, I would just message her like proof of life. I just want proof that you’re alive. You know what I mean? Like, I get it if you don’t want to reply back with some big thing, but just like proof of life, give me a thumbs up if it’s a proof of life. And I started thinking about that, because I do proof of life a lot with my daughter, especially like, if I know she’s going out, which now she’s 21. So I don’t worry as much. But when she was like 20 going out with their friends, I’d be like, proof of life. Like, are you okay? You went with strangers somewhere, I just want to know, you’re okay. And so the other day, I was sitting there thinking about this, like proof of life. And you guys know what that means? Like, it’s proof that you’re still living. But what is the proof of life that I have for my life? Like, if I was checking in with myself proof of life, what would I be expecting back?

Because I started thinking with my daughter, I’m, I’m not checking in with her proof of life, to see if she’s having fun, although I love it when she messages and says Yeah, I’m good. I’m having fun. But really, I want to make sure you’re not like, injured or need me. I want to make sure you don’t need me. Right.

And so I started thinking when I think about proof of life for myself, what does that mean? How do I know that I’m alive? Like what are the things that have to happen to make me feel like I’m alive and I don’t think that there is.

I think you’re like me, and just surviving isn’t enough. For proof of life.

You’ve got to

Be like thriving to an extent. And if you don’t know what that is, then how do you know when you need to adjust? And so I started thinking like, how do I know when I need to, like, sit with myself and get back into a place where I am, I’m living from a different place. Now, when I say proof of life, if I’m not proof of life is a is a down thumb. Thumbs down.

A thumbs down is like everyday feels like really rote. And, like, normal and

like kind of blah, right? Proof of Life depth, thumbs down is like if I don’t get outside, right? Like if I’m feeling like really, like, I get, I work from home, and I live from home. And so sometimes I feel like Oh, my God, I don’t see anybody, right, other than my husband and my dog and my daughter if she stops by before work. So I don’t see anybody. And that starts to make me feel really sluggish. And weird. So. So what is really normal with our brains is to have an awareness of what doesn’t feel good, right? So many times when I’m working with someone, I’ll say, like, what is it that you want? And they’ll say, like, well, I don’t want to feel so confined. I don’t want to feel so left out. I don’t want to feel so like, okay, but like, notice, we didn’t answer the question, right? I do this to myself. So I noticed when I thought of proof of life, I was like, Well, I’m not stuck in the house. I’m not. So then I was like, wait, we wait, that’s what I those are the thumbs down things. What are the thumbs up? Things? Like what would cause me if I texted myself proof of life? What would make me say I have a thumbs up? This is Yes. Life? Yes. Right. So these are the three things that I came up with, when I was trying to like identify this for myself. Alright, so the first thing is that I am dreaming. Now, I want to explain this because this might be a little different than what you are thinking of.

I want to be using my imagination all the time, all the time as much as I can. Wouldn’t it be nice? Wouldn’t it be great if I could use my imagination and infuse that in every single thing that I do? When April was here, and I hadn’t thought of this till just now when April was here she called it dignifying, like Disney does everything with a lot of imagination, like how do you make? And we were looking at my programs? And like how would we dignify this, like how would we make this even better. But I think that when we use our imagination,

we are coming up with something that we’ve never thought of. Right? That’s what our imagination is, I’m coming up with something that I’ve never thought of before. I’m coming up with a new way to look at this or a new way to do this. And I think imagination is actually our connection to Source energy. So I think when we are being super imaginative, we have opened up that gateway to source, and then we’re funneling back and forth.

It’s almost like, you know, when you’re on the highway, and sometimes there’ll be like a Oh, a road on the highway. That’s a two way road. So they’ll put the little like things down that say you can’t drive on that road, because at this time it’s going west, but then in the evening, it’ll go east, same exact road. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. But that’s what it feels like. To me. It’s like when I have my imagination. When I’m connected into my imagination, the gate is open. And I’m just like running back and forth to source getting all of these ideas because source is the collective.

Right the source is the collective collective consciousness, collective energy, everything that is and will be everything everywhere, all at once. Right. So that is that is my imagination. That’s when I connect into that portal. And so I know that I have proof of life thumbs up, I am thriving, when I am allowing myself to dream and imagine and connect into that portal. And that’s every day, like every day getting new ideas, right being inspired. The second thing

and you got to hear me out on this one too, because might be a little different is that I am allowing joy. Okay, so let me explain what I mean because I believe that there is joyful things all around us for us to notice and participate

to pay in.

And we stop ourselves all the time, from having joy, because we think that’s silly. That’s frivolous, I’m going to explain because you’re doing this unconsciously, but I’m going to bring it into your conscious mind. So we think that’s silly. But why would I do that? That’s, that’s a waste of time. That makes no sense. But it is joyful. Alright, so let me explain.

Now, we use

a software called clickup. Inside my business, so April, and I and then the other coaches inside the alchemy institute that are in the coaches development program, they all are in our clickup. And that’s where we have all of our plans, all of our resources for every like everything is in clickup, right. So if I got hit by a truck, you could come in and run the entire business, because you’d have videos for everything, and you’d know how to do everything. Okay. So, inside clickup are different sections. And each section has a label and an icon. And so the way clickup is set up is you pick a color, and that’s the color of the icon. And then you can pick like a little like an envelope or, you know, like a little icon, you know what I mean? Like, so there’s like a green circle, but then you pick the little icon is like a light bulb, you know, like those basic flaticon looking things. So we’ve had it set up like that, like I have used clickup for like three years, maybe more. And it looks kind of generic II to me, and but like, why take any time to adjust that, honestly, like, there are bigger fish to fry I got enough to do. And then yesterday, I was like, you know, we had been working in clickup and setting up these new processes. And I mean, it’s so good, it feels so fun. But when I would go to it, I would see the old clickup I would see like the old icons and the old and it just was like, Oh, it wasn’t inspiring. It didn’t make me dream. It didn’t make me use my imagination. And then I was like, doing these things are the things that are that will get me into the sunshine that will get me to the beach, whether it’s a vacation or a house, or whatever it is these like, every time I click inside one of these spaces, these like envelopes, I shouldn’t be I should be thrilled. Like I have created some really cool stuff. Like, every time I go to it, I go green icon. So I was like maybe I can change those icons. So I googled it. And I found out that you can. And so I downloaded all these really awesome pictures of the beach and the sun. But like icons of them, do you know what I mean? So little circles. And then I updated. I’m going to it now just to look at it. I updated the names of the sections, right? And so it just looks much so Betsy has content ideas. And then it’s this like cool like Florida looking circle son thing.

I always call April, my magical unicorn. So it’s like this unicorn riding on a rainbow. Like it’s so much fun. Now, I want you to really, really be honest for one second. And I want you to ask your body, what is it? Or ask your consciousness? What do you think about what I’m saying is it kind of feels silly? Maybe not. But maybe it kind of feels like okay, but that’s kind of a waste of time. I spend a lot of time, like getting operations, and it’s this really cool sunset like this graphic, you know,

ocean under the daily conflict, the things we have to do every day is an icon of the ocean because I need to be reminded, but maybe it feels like a little bit like wasted time. I’m glad you did that on a weekend. I say that because that’s what I thought at first. At first I was like, oh my god, I can’t tell anybody. I wasted six hours doing this right like reorganizing stuff and making it pretty. But then I was like, wait a minute, that’s bringing me joy.

bringing me joy, but I would have thought it’s not producing anything. It’s not going anywhere. It’s not for anything other than it brings me joy, and probably will bring other people joy that are in there. If you’re in my clickup Check it out and see if it brings you joy. And so we diminish the value of just doing things for joy.

And so my proof of life thumbs up is that I am allowing space for joy to do things just because it’s fun. And that’s the outcome. Like that’s the only thing and then every time I go to it, it feels joyful.

When the reality is

the reality is is that that will change my

mood every time.

So it’s not just the joy of yesterday when I was putting it all together, although that existed, it also carries on to, you know, months or I don’t know years from now, maybe I’ll adjust it at some point when I get a new goal. So,

so thumbs up allowing the joy number one is dreaming imagination, connecting to source and allowing that every day, every day being in my imagination, number two is allowing the joy of doing stuff just for joy, even if it doesn’t make sense or doesn’t lead to something or doesn’t serve some other purpose that you can monetize or whatever, right? Because I don’t know about you, but how often I do that. And number three, and the final one that I have to share is

proof of life. Thumbs up is if I am labeling things correctly.

If I’m labeling things correctly, so what do I mean by that? So many times, we, I say we, it’s really me, but you probably too, I will label things as Oh, that’s not good. Or oh, that didn’t work out? Or, oh, gosh, they think that, oh, my gosh, I can’t believe they think that, right? Or whatever it is, I label things in a way that limits me. So anytime we’re labeling something, and probably anytime we’re labeling it at all, we’re it’s limiting us, right? Because every belief is, in fact, a limiting belief because it has parameters. So when I label something, I’m putting parameters on it. And it’s taking me out of the, the collective, it’s taking me out of this space.

Well, one of the things I found to be really helpful, especially when I see somebody, say something like on social media that is like different than how I see the world, right? If they’re saying something, I’ll just think to myself, that’s a really interesting perspective, is different than my perspective. But it’s interesting, because it’s so different.

Just that little shift takes me out of judgment, it takes me out of like the book clench of like II Oh, no, right? It takes me out of all of that, and allows me to see that what they’re really showing me is all of their experiences, all of their beliefs, everything they’ve been taught, it is really just a, they’re giving me a glimpse of how their life has been up to this point. And I am doing the same when I share, like on the show, right? Like, I’m giving you a glimpse into the lens that has been created that I have created, that that filters my whole world. And when somebody else is posting that, that’s all it is. Doesn’t mean it’s right doesn’t mean it’s wrong, doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean anything. And when I can stop labeling things, it opens me up, to have empathy to experience things. And I want to say this, when I limit myself from labeling myself, Oh, well, I can’t do that because I’m not dead. Right? Or maybe I shouldn’t do that. Because I’m 51. Right? You’ve probably heard me say that. Like, like, there is a label. And so for me a thumbs up proof of life is that I am aware of the labels, I don’t think we can, I don’t think there’s a way for our brains to, like, undo that necessarily. I think that unconsciously that’s a really serves a huge purpose in our lives is to label things. generalization is what our brains do naturally, in order to avoid us being in overwhelm or giving us too many chunks of information in any second. And so the, the, the act of that is a really natural thing for my brain to do. But if it doesn’t make me feel good, then I can notice that I don’t feel good. And then I can bring it to my conscious awareness. And then I can change the label to that’s an interesting perspective. And that is going to change everything. This is why I think we talk so much about being in the moment right the moment of now. Because in the moment of now if you can expand into that moment, then you become aware of what’s happening unconsciously because you have an emotion and any emotion that’s not positive is not aligned with your source. That’s why it doesn’t feel good. And so we

can start to see something in a different way that then feels better. And for me that way is saying, Well, that is an interesting perspective. Now, we could dive all down the the rabbit hole, because you may have been thinking like, what about awful things? I’m going to feel bad about awful things?

Absolutely, absolutely. I feel bad about awful things, too. And I remember Mr. Rogers, who said, always look for the helpers, because they always exist. So that’s what I’m saying is that you’re focused on the wrong thing, when you don’t feel good. Because if you focused on the helpers, you would start to feel good. And so what I’m talking about is really a choice in how I’m seeing the world. But I can’t get there if I don’t have an awareness. And I can’t have an awareness, if I’m not living in this moment in this moment in this moment. And that trigger is just knowing, if I’m thinking about the future than I’m not right here. If I’m thinking about the past, then I’m not right here. And I will tell you, if you’re like me, my brain is all over the place all the time. Like it is something I have to sit with some time and say, I’m just gonna be here in this moment. And I have to focus. And I believe that as we do this more and more becomes easier. And then we can start to bring that into our experience and into the world. And then we’re not so far ahead all the time, I go really far ahead into the, into the demise of I will die, I will dive down any rabbit hole into like chaos, if you let me. So like, I have to be aware, I have to pull myself back. And that is how I get my three Thumbs up for proof of life. I’m dreaming, I’m using my imagination and connecting into source. I’m allowing the joy even when it doesn’t make sense to like this society in our world. And I’m noticing how I’m labeling things and how that’s impacting me and that I’m shifting to start to say, hey, that’s really interesting. That is how I think you begin to live a big life. So thank you so much for listening. Thanks for being here with me. Thanks for leaving me amazing reviews. I love you so much. If you made my day, those of you that left, left the reviews. Thank you. And yeah, I will see you all next week. Hopefully, I’ll see you in the collective and inside the releasing emotion class, which I do have a funny thing

if you want to hang on, so I decided I was going to check out chat chi PT, because everybody’s talking about the AI. And I use AI in my house. Like I use the Amazon one. I don’t want to say her name to turn my lights on and off, like I have that set up. So I’m not afraid of that kind of stuff. And you know, adapt or die. So I’m just like, I’m going to check it out. So I opened it up, I put in there.

What should I call a class

that allows you to release negative emotion. And it’s done in 90 minutes. And you know, people feel really light and free. Give me a name for that class. And it said, emotion Fiesta like, no, no, no. And then it said I said give me a different one and it said a motion party. And so I was like no and then I said make it more funny. You know, like make it like more personable. I think I asked and it said emo release. Okay, so emo is what it was taking as the word for a motion so emo release, and I was like I don’t like emo because people are gonna think I mean Emo. But that’s funnier, you know. So then I said, I’ll make it a pawn and it said, Emo no mo. So we have been calling it the emo normal event. I don’t know what it will be called. But every time you see what it’s called, just know and join me in the back of your mind as calling it the emo Nomo. All right. All right. I love you guys. I’ll see you next week. Oh, is what it was taking as the word for emotion. So emo release, and I was like, I don’t like emo because people are gonna think I mean email. But that’s funnier, you know. So then I said, I’ll make it a pun. And it said email normal. So we have been calling it the email normal event. I don’t know what it will be called. But every time you see what it’s called, just no. And join me in the back of your mind is calling it the E mo no mo All right. All right. I love you guys. I’ll see you next week.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really

means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi Iā€™m Betsy and Iā€™m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.