345: Listen in to an NLP session with my friend Laura - Betsy Pake

345: Listen in to an NLP session with my friend Laura


Dive into this really fun episode as we embark on an NLP life coaching session with Laura, our guest struggling with personal obstacles. Listen in as Betsy’s asks probing questions to uncover the heart of Laura’s challenges and bring clarity to her situation. Experience the potency of NLP techniques in action as we witness Laura’s breakthroughs, emotional transitions, and big shifts. While certain visual elements remain unseen, let your imagination fill in the gaps as you listen.
Join us in this NLP session and if you’d like to learn NLP for yourself, head to https://betsypake.com/thealchemyinstitute/ or message us at betsy @betsypake


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. Welcome to the show today. And if you’re new here, because your friend sent you last week, thanks for being here, you guys, that was so awesome. Thank you for sharing the show. If you haven’t shared it, you can still do that. Just screenshot it and send it to a friend. Or up in the left right hand corner, there’ll be that little arrow thing and just send it out. So thank you. Thank you for doing that. All right. So this week, I have sort of a special episode. So I have my friend Laura on the show. And Laura and I were talking and she was struggling with some things. And I said, if you want to come on the podcast, let’s do some NLP. Now. This was actually really fun. We kept it I could have gone for like two hours, I kept it like 30 minutes, just so you could listen. So many people asked me what is an NLP session like, like what’s happening? Now we kind of cut it off at the end, because we finished and then we kind of talked and closed it up. And I didn’t want to, you know, bore you with that kind of thing. But I wanted you to be able to hear what it sounds like to work with an NLP practitioner, or if you are considering being an NLP practitioner or adding this your therapy practice. So what you’re going to hear is me asking questions to discover what her issue was. Now, I will tell you that when we started, I had no idea what we were going to talk about. I didn’t know how we were going to proceed or what was going to happen. And so I asked her questions helped her get a lot of clarity, and you’ll hear her kind of move through that. And then we did an NLP technique to help her move through that you’ll hear moments of just silence. And, you know, that’s where she was adjusting to this new thought and even emoting you know, so many times when we have a transition, there’s emotion that comes with that. And even though we were recording, I wanted to honor that and give her the space to feel that adjustment. I’m watching her face to see what we call an NLP sensory acuity. So you’ll hear me say a couple times, I can see that that made an impact, or I can see you just had a shift. And that’s because I could see it on her face, her face would change color, right, she’d get really red or really white. Like as she shifted, I was watching her eye movement pattern. So there was a lot of things that are going on, that are visual that you won’t be able to see as you’re listening. But you can kind of imagine and just know that when there’s a little silence, that’s just us recalibrating. And getting to the next thing. There is so much more to uncover, but I wanted to share this little snippet so that you could hear what it sounds like. And maybe feel a little bit of what it feels like to have a shift like Laura does in this episode. So thank you so much for listening. And I will bring it to the show. Here we go. All right. All right. So Laura, I’m recording. And I just want to say on the recording that you know that this might be used, like in a podcast or for the alchemy Institute, or both. Okay. Yes. And you could just be Laura. Okay. So what I wanted to do today, well, I wanted to see you because this is fun. But also I wanted to be able to walk through like a typical coaching session so that people that want to be a coach can kind of hear what it sounds like. We’ll use some NLP, we’ll, we’ll do whatever comes up.

Okay. Sounds good.

So tell me how things have been going? Well,

pretty good. I was feeling a lot of momentum with kind of my work and getting new kiddos and I’m seeing as patients and and then just kind of second guessing myself along the way. Like feeling really confident one moment and then feeling like I don’t know what I’m doing and feeling like I need to keep learning. And you know, I’ve been doing this in different you know, I’ve been a physical therapist for 22 years, almost 23 And, but in kind of working in different capacities. So I feel like I’m kind of figuring out my current path, because I’m melding a lot of things as far as like cranial sacral work, myofascial release, and, and also kind of working in a preventative role, like I really want to try to see. And I haven’t had any of these clients through preventative. Early, early infants just unwinding and teaching parents how many time and things like that most of my kiddos have come through a baby that’s maybe going to have a tongue tie release or had one and that there was a lot of muscular tension. And this dentist that I know that knows my work has referred people to me and, and great results. Helping kiddos unwind, and just kind of relax and loosen up and teach them and I’ve caught some kids that have Victoria Kahless, and things like that. But like, I’m still like, never feel like I’m good enough that I know enough that like, like, I can charge what I’m charging or you know, I’m going to the home, like I can justify it everything. But then there’s this like, underlying, like,

some. Yeah, underlying thing that says I’m not really good enough. How do you know? How do you know that you feel like that?

Oh, it’s like chest heart. Like, right. I’m gonna cry. Yeah.

Which is good. You know, anytime we cry or laugh, because we’re expanding, right? Because we’re starting to see it a little different, or we’re getting to the root of it. So I mean, I think that’s emoting is always good. I cry all day long. Oh, I cry or so yeah. So it’s, it’s important, right? It’s important, and that’s why you feel emotional about it. If it wasn’t important, and you didn’t care about it, it wouldn’t really be a thing. So when you’re second guessing yourself, what is it that you’re second guessing about yourself? The first thing came when it was like no, enough or good enough or Yeah, yeah. What’s the tell me what? So those are two different things. Okay. So tell me what good enough means. I want to talk about both of those things. Yeah, I can see.

See what you’re saying already? Yeah, I’m, like, with good enough? Oh, I don’t know. I think that’s like, that’s, I have that in a lot of different areas. Like I compare myself to others or you know, think like, other people are better at certain things in me or, you know, just like, I see that that pattern comes up a lot with a lot of different things.

Yeah. And when you compare yourself, it means that what I see somebody and I think they’re better than me, and that means

no, no, like, it’s almost like a jealousy like, oh, I want that. Yeah. Or, oh, that seems easy for them or, yeah, like, because I have kind of stayed away from the social media part of stuff, because it’s, it’s very stressful. Like, I it’s not worth how I feel when I’m trying to do it. So I’m, like, kind of giving myself grace with that for a while. Yeah. and word of mouth is working so far. Yeah. But, um, but yeah. Like, I look at therapists, I can do it on social media there. Looks so easy for some people. That is social media. Right.

Right. I was gonna say, and that’s all my I mean, that’s all like, but it doesn’t matter if we know it. Like, intellectually, we know it. We still feel it. Right. Yeah. When when I think about comparing, and I think this is something that’s really a human thing to do. I always think that that means that there is something inside me that knows that I’m playing too small. Is that possible? Or yeah, too small. Yeah. Yeah. And in what area? Would you say you’re playing too small?

Oh, in the work area, because I, I feel like I have like a knowing that I’m not going to be doing kind of the same thing as everybody else. So I really shouldn’t compare myself. Yeah. But

yet, yet? Yes, I do. Yeah. Yeah, I do. Yeah. And I also,

and I compare myself to all the different aspects of the things I do, I’m like, I compare myself to this person and this person or this person that are all, you know, that I put things together that you know, so it’s like I can know intellectually. Yeah,

yeah. Yeah. So is there. I want to I’m going to circle back to that, or want to come back, but I want to ask the other side of what you said, which was do I know enough.

But I always feel like I don’t. But it’s also because I do like to learn more like, I want to delve deeper into the different techniques and I want to know all of the things and but then I get myself stuck in, like trying to follow it a certain way. But yeah, and then I’m like, Oh, I’m not. Yeah, well, I It’s the perfection. And I’m like, I want to be perfect. Yeah.

Perfectionism. So what? Why? I don’t feel like I know enough. But it’s really because I always want to learn more. Is that true? That’s true.

What else is true about that? No one can know everything.

Yeah, nobody can know everything. Like if, if you never feel like, you know, know enough, based on the idea that there’s more to learn. Right? You’ll never feel like you know, enough. Exactly. So what would you have to believe in order to believe that you knew enough?

Just keep ticking. Like, I know enough. That’s enough. Like, I have enough. That’s

what would be enough? I don’t know. I know it is hard, right? Because I don’t have the answers. But you do. And so getting to those answers, right? What would you have to believe?

It’s right there. I just like keep wanting to put my hand on my heart, like, just to trust myself,

that was just gonna say, Yeah, I would have to trust myself. And that really, you know, a lot more than other people. And you also have a lot of new things to learn ahead. And you can be on that continuum, and feel successful and have joy, and feel competent, right? And feel like you have a lot to offer. Like, like, it’s okay, to feel like you’re in the middle of the continuum with where to go and have covered a lot of space, right? So, here’s my thought when we talk about like, not feeling like we’re good enough, right? Knowing that I’m not doing the same as everybody, there’s this perfectionist element. Typically, we do that in a certain way. So I want to see if we can kind of uncover how you do that, and see if we can start to shift it. Okay. Okay, so what I want to do is, I want you to be thinking about how you know that you’re not good enough. Okay? So you feel like you’re not good enough. You feel like you’re not good enough in your work. You see other people doing things online, and you feel like they’re better than you. And you feel like there’s still so much for you to learn. And even though you know, you have a lot of skills, there’s this perfectionism thing. So let me ask you, how do you know that you’re doing that?

I’m just not taking steps forward. Okay, not putting myself out there. I’m, like, I’m waiting for you. I’m kind of hiding.

Okay, so waiting and hiding. How else do you do it?

Um, well, I’ve Oh. Just gonna say I put things off if you know if there’s unless I have like, have something I have to do at a certain time or a deadline. A lot of times I just kind of wait,

is that typically if you have a deadline is that when you notice it happens?

Well, if there’s things that I could do, but I don’t have to do, I might not do them. Unless there’s like, I’m going to present something or I told my family, I give him the report. By this time, you know, I have some things. When I was doing some social media things, it was like because I was going to be teaching a class like, Okay, I have to put myself out there. Like, I won’t do it unless I have something to do.

Okay, so do you feel the feeling of not good enough? When you’re doing the things or only when you’re not doing the things?

Ooh. It’s kind of both like if I’m writing a report that like I’m worried about, like if I have one little doubt about something like Oh, I didn’t evaluate that enough. That like, oh, like just it’s torture. But

how do you know? Here’s another question. How do you know when it Time to do that.

They’re like, do something

to do that to have that feeling. How do you know it’s time to have that

feeling? I don’t know that they just have it. I don’t know.

Yeah. So think about the last time that you had it. Okay, like a specific time. Do you have a specific time? Yeah. Okay. So just go backwards in time just a little bit. Go back, back back. And then all of a sudden, you have the feeling. What happened right before you got the feeling?

No, it was like riding and going. Oh, I didn’t look at that enough. So there was a question you questions yourself? Yeah. Okay. Was there anything else right there? No. Just trying to think. No, because I feel like I was like, in flow with some things. And I’m like, Oh, crap. I don’t, you know, like,

yeah, yeah. So the thought came in, where you’re like, oh, did I do that? Right? Yeah. Is that the words that you use? Oh, did I do that right, or? Oh, did I do that enough? I think you said,

yeah. Just like, did I do I remember assessing something or? I can’t quite picture. And I didn’t take a picture, you know, like, trying to remember like a, like a face shaped thing?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right. So here’s the question. Okay. When do you don’t do it?

Well, it’s like, it happens a lot. I’m just relaxing when I’m just hanging out, Sam. Yeah. When I’m walking when I’m, well, I can ever want to watch. A lot of overthinking.

Yeah. Okay. But if you’re being present, yes, yes, then it doesn’t happen, right? Because if you’re walking and you’re being present, you’re fine. But if you’re walking, you’re not being present. The mind wanders then okay. Okay, so is it alright, for us to make changes in your conscious mind? And for us to be deeply aware of it? Okay. All right. So I am, I have been sent here from the cosmic temp agency to give you a break. So my job is to just be you for a little while. So I want you to teach me how you do this. Because I wouldn’t want you to screw, I wouldn’t want to screw up this problem, so that you can’t have that problem anymore. So I want you to just teach me exactly how you do this. And I’ll ask you some questions. And then I want you to just show me how to do the problem, and then I will do the problem. And then you can take a break from having the problem and then you don’t have to have the problem because you can’t if I have the problem. Okay, okay. All right. So teach me how to do it. What’s the very first thing that I have to do? Think think, okay, all right. Okay. All right. So I have to be like, I have to be like, like thinking about a lot of things. Yes. Okay. All right. And then what do I do? Next? So

criticize myself, like, who does

that? I have to be honest with you. Yes, I guess. Or do I? Or do I criticize?

Oh, if you’re, if you’re being me, and then you criticize yourself? Okay. So

first, I’m going to think, and then I’m going to, like really go, Oh, my God, I’m amazing. So I’m going to be like, Oh, my God, I’m like, do I am? Like, I have this figured out. Like there’s so much good things that I know. Okay, what do I do next?

wait to have the problem.

Yeah. What do I have to do next to have that problem?

Turn it completely around and think that you don’t know. Something that you’re not good enough about something?

Okay. Okay. So first, I’m gonna be like thinking about all the things and then I’m gonna be like, Oh, my God, there’s so many things that I know. And then I’m going to explain that next part to me again,

then I’m going to tell myself that I don’t know you.

You I tell you. Oh.

If you’re being me, you’re telling yourself.

Okay, so I tell me, yes. Okay. So what do I tell me? That

actually, like you’re not doing enough? You’re not doing things right. Okay.

So I think the things like I think a lot of things and then I go, Oh my God, there’s so many things I know. And then I say, there are so many things I do right in this and there are so many new things that I’m learning this is like a really cool place to be and then what do I do next? Is there anything I do next or is that

then you are not nice to yourself and then It doesn’t feel good in your body.

Okay, so then I’m like I am I get this, like really good feeling that I’m like human and learning. And so I feel good about what I’ve done so far and know that I have stuff that I can learn in that feels really good. Does that sound right? So far? So, so I’m gonna think a bunch of things, and then I’m gonna be like, Oh my god, I’m really great. Then I’m gonna go, I’m on a continuum, where I’m learning and growing, and I’ve learned so many things. And then I go, okay, so I just noticed a shift in your face. How do you feel right now? Oh,

like, like happy tears? Yeah.

Okay. So I want to just ask you, I want you to think about a time in the future, where if we hadn’t done this, your old pattern would have run. And I want you to just notice how you can’t do it now. Can you notice that? Yeah, yeah. Good. Feels good, right? Yeah. Good. Good. I’m gonna give you just a second to just sit with a big deep breath. Thank you. Yeah. It’s funny, but like, so many of the things that we do are just triggers that run over and over. And if we can repattern those triggers, then as silly as that seemed, when we were doing it, like it changes how you perceive it. Or was that? Good? Good. So now, you know, when we first got on the phone, and we talked about you, feeling like you’re good enough or knowing enough? How do you feel now about work? Like what could be next? As you start to think about work and the work that you do and how you show up? feels lighter? Yeah.

Well, and like I was, I was thinking, like, there’s some people I need to reach out to that have had some referrals. And I think some other people that think it’d be good connections. And I was kind of like, oh, wait, and I’m like, I can do that.

Yeah. Yeah. Good. So already, like steps forward? And? Yeah. Yeah. I love it. Me, too. It’s brave to be able to do this stuff and look at this. And remember, in the beginning, you were like, this is hard, like, this is like theirs. But then once the change happens, right, then it’s not hard. It’s, it’s simple. And that what we did for people listening is a master practitioner level skill, which just shifts your perception of things. You know, years ago, when I lost my dog, I had to bring her to the vet, which is like in my building, but like, downstairs. And so every time I left my apartment building, I would see that that and when I would see the, like title of it, like the sign, I would get this awful sinking feeling in my stomach. And I called one of my girlfriends, and I said, Can you scramble that for me? Cuz like, and she did it. And I’ve never driven by and felt bad again, it like, our emotions are so optional. And everything that you’ve been doing to keep yourself small, is just because your brain thinks that’s how the best way to protect you like things it’s helping. But like, there’s so many big huge strides that you can take when you let go of that junk. Okay.

All right, I’m gonna stop the recording, and we will wrap up. Thank you for doing this with me. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media. I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.