346: Where are you in relation to "the thing"? - Betsy Pake

346: Where are you in relation to “the thing”?


In this episode, Betsy shares her perspective on the emotional rollercoaster of buying a home in the Atlanta market, with bids on properties falling through and finally settling on a home she found had serious challenges structurally.

What seemed like a nightmare turned into an exploration of perspectives, each party involved viewing the problem differently.
The process reminded Betsy of crucial lessons about internal versus external security. While the structural integrity of the house was in question, she discovered resilience, strength in dealing with uncertainty and the power of owning your perspective.

This episode invites you to look at your challenges differently, questioning if they could actually be incredible opportunities for growth. Tune in this week for an honest journey into home buying and self discovery.


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.

Hey, everyone, Hi, welcome to the show today, welcome to The Art of Living big, I have recorded this show, I’ve recorded the show, like twice once was like 10 minutes. And then I was like, This is no good. Then I did like 45 minutes. And I was like, This is no good. So I’m not sure this is gonna be probably a short episode, I wanted to give you something I’m actually recording this morning. So if you’re listening to it on the day, it came out, like, Hi, I’m doing this this morning. So I want to kind of tell you what happened yesterday, and sort of give you like an update. So you know, typically when I do the show,

and well, I was gonna say this might sound kind of odd, but maybe it won’t, till I sometimes don’t know what I’m going to talk about. But I sit down and I shut my eyes. And I talk and sometimes I’m surprised. But what I’m talking about,

I rarely have like a really deep plan unless I have like a guest on. And I always have felt like that way it reached to the people it was supposed to reach, you know, like, it was an idea that came to me that I could talk about and it would be for somebody or a group of somebodies. And I always felt like I was really connected into the group. And so I would be able to do that. So it was easy. You know what I mean? So like, the podcast is like one of the easiest things that I do because I don’t really have to play golf, and I shut my eyes. And people have said before, you should record the podcast, so that we have like a video. Like when I used my producer back like beginning last year, that way we have like a video. And I’m like, yeah, like would literally be a video of me, like with my eyes shut. Wouldn’t be like, it wouldn’t be very good. It would be kind of weird, you know. And so um,

and so yesterday, I sat down to do the show, and I couldn’t like get into it was really weird. And not so weird. I’m going to tell you what has kind of been going on in the last few weeks. And what I think happened. Also, this morning, fresh, I’m rested all of those things. And now it feels like so much easier. Right eyes are closed, I’m going to tell you a story that I didn’t know I was going to tell you. Okay. So you know, I’ve been buying this house, if you followed along, I have been trying to purchase a new home in Atlanta, I actually have we’ve closed on it.

And, you know, the market in Atlanta is kind of crazy. And so it was, it was like a roller coaster, you know, like ups and downs and feeling excited and getting excited and then being really disappointed. And like this whole, like, sort of roller coaster. And when we made the bid on the last place, we bid on several places that we didn’t get. And when we made a bid on the last place, we said we would do an inspection but not have them fix anything. And so we did the inspection. And what we found was in the crawl space, as well as in the roof, main support beams were missing. Like, like, just not there underneath the floor. And the support beams that were there. Many of them were temporary jacks, as if someone went in to fix it, but never completed the job.

And so now, we were bidding on a house that, you know, it wasn’t like, oh, the kitchen needs to be updated or liquid, it needs a new tub in the guest bath. It was like the integrity of the house was compromised. It was different than what we thought, you know, and it was gonna be you know, 15 $20,000 to fix. And that whole experience we did end up coming to an agreement with the sellers and it was fine and we closed and we’ll have that all fixed.

And that whole experience was sort of like scary and exhausting. And over the past like six weeks or so triggering. I have expanded so much and I have thought about things in a different way. I have noticed what

But my fears were I have, I have done so much NLP on myself to calm my myself and to get a new perspective that that experience has almost been really exhausting. Because although I typically do NLP every day, I wasn’t always finding like big huge triggers didn’t know what I mean? Like it wasn’t like huge like safety, my security, like, Am I losing all my money? Do you know what I mean? Like these big things. And so it really was bringing me back to this, like safety is inside of myself. And I find security internally, it’s not external. And all of the things that I’m presently worried about are things that are in the physical reality. And although they are things I have to deal with, in my reality, how I deal with them, and how I perceive them, is completely up to me.

It’s completely up to me and how I am where I am standing in relation to the problem. And so you might have things like that in your life to where you’re like, This is a big thing like this, I wasn’t expecting this, I’m having to deal with this challenge. I don’t like it, I don’t want to deal with that challenge. And this isn’t what I signed up for. Right? It wasn’t what I was choosing.

And what I have found, every time that this type of thing happens to me is that it is an opportunity for me to heal, what is out there, what is still lingering, it’s given me an opportunity to notice how my perspective is creating this experience. You know, one of the things that the inspector said, you know, he thought he would be really fast. And he said, like, meet me over there at 1030. I’ll be just about done when you get there. And then he called me at like, 930 I was like, This is gonna take me a lot longer than I thought. No, I was like, oh, okay, well, I’m still gonna come and see what’s going on. And when I got there, like I could tell, he was like, you know, there’s this issue this thing. And my agent where she was standing, was like, This is no big deal. Betsy, this happens all the time with old houses like this is nothing. You just get it fixed, like, right, which was like, Oh, my God, can we have a moment for how this is the integrity issue?

And then I talked to a contractor and the contractor was like, oh, yeah, this is like an easy fix. And he even said, with enough money, anything can be fixed. So all three, four of us

stay standing in a different place in relation to the same exact problem. The contractor is like, I know how to fix it pay me enough. And I’ll totally fix it. The real estate agents like I see this all the time, like this isn’t that big of a deal? Like just get it fixed? The Inspector, I actually asked him, would you buy this house? Which everybody kind of giggled, but I’m like, that’s an excellent question. When I went and got my nose surgery done, I asked the surgeon, knowing what you know about how bad the problem is, and what the risks and recovery of surgery are? If I was your wife, would you tell me to do it? Like to me? That’s an excellent question. So I asked the Inspector, if it was you, would you buy it? And he paused? And for me, what kind of person I am? I’m not listening for the answer. I’m listening for how they answer, right? Just because that’s how my brain works because of all the NLP. So he paused. And then he said, Well, I would buy it, because I know how to fix it.

Right? So it’s a lot of money. So but I would do it, because I know I would just have to buy the lumber. I know how to do it. So I could do I wouldn’t have to pay for labor. So everybody had a different experience based on the same exact situation.

And so I was so triggered and really, honestly, like, kind of angry. I felt like there’s not a lot of options in Atlanta, like probably it is there is some element of truth that no matter what house I’m going to buy, it’s not going to be perfect, and there’s going to be something wrong. And at least I know what the wrong is with this place. And I know, like a round about what it’s going to cost to fix it. And, you know, maybe there’s a perspective in there. That’s true, but what it did was it gave me this experience to say like if I am where I’m standing, and this is the part that I think nobody else really understood. This is why I think everybody needs to know NLP right? Where I’m standing. Nobody else really

tried to know where how it felt from where I was standing, even though

they were all

like, vendors that I was hiring right

it, but nobody tried to understand what my point was or what, like my perspective was on it, in that perspective, was leading me into like a lot of fear and like, what if like, what if? And honestly still like, what if we go in and we put the support beams in? But something happens while they’re doing it? Do you know what I mean? And then I have a bigger problem or who knows what are they find something else, like, you know, you just don’t know. And so I realized, I can see each of their perspectives is different, which means the perspective I see is only my reality.

It’s not necessarily reality, it’s just mine. It’s just my version from where I’m standing. This is what I see. And so then, I had an opportunity to be like, if I am in the most powerful position that I could be, even from where I’m standing, but in the most powerful position, because let’s, let’s say, let’s, let’s be in this same exact spot, I could be like, Oh, my God, this is terrible. I don’t, I’m not gonna be able to fix this. This is overwhelming, like,

a lot of things, right? Even though we have the have the money to fix it. That wasn’t the point, right? But what if I’m in scarcity, and I’m like, I don’t have it. Like, even though I have it physically, that money can’t be spent for that, like, I can’t spend it like, I could get myself into like a panic, I could possibly lose a house and end up paying more for some other house that’s not even as good or what I want or who knows what.

Or if I was in the same exact, like, on the other end of the spectrum, right. So that’s like the lowest that I could be just in scarcity and fear and overwhelm to be the most powerful version of me, well, then all of a sudden, it felt like this is an opportunity, this is an opportunity for me to expand and become like, as I’m gonna use the word big, like big as I can write. So that like, this becomes an empowering experience, where I get to show up, and I get to show myself how clearly I have healed, and how I am finding the security inside myself. So I know and I trust myself and have confidence so that whatever happens, whatever happens, they hit a support beam, and half the house falls on whatever, whatever happens, I know that I can handle it.

So the things that I’m worried about in the future that haven’t even happened, don’t matter, because I trust in myself. I trust myself that I can figure it out, I trust myself that if something happens, I’ll work through it. I don’t have to trust the contractor. I don’t have to trust the realtor, I don’t have to trust anybody else. Like I can find that internal knowing and say, I’m going to make the right decision in this moment, not in the future, like oh my god, but what if something in this moment, I’m going to make the right decision for me in this moment. And then if something else happens, I trust myself so much, I know that I will find the right decision in that next moment when it arrives.

So I want you to think

about what is the big thing right now that’s happening? And can you see it in a perspective that it is only the way it is, and you’re only experiencing it in the way that you’re experiencing it because of where you stand in relation to it.

And if you had a different perspective, or you were the biggest version of you, you had the most confidence in you knew that you could handle it, and that you could make the decision for this moment. What’s the information being presented to you at this moment.

And then trust yourself, that if new information comes that you can pivot, you can learn, you can change your mind. You can say no, you can do whatever it is that you need to do to stay in that feeling of alignment and certainty.

And I think that is how you live a big life. So thanks so much for listening today. Thank you for being here with me. Thank you, my spirit guides for letting me close my eyes and know when to come.

You know, I’ll never get so tired as I was yesterday. And we will do it again next week. So thank you so much for listening. I love you guys so much. I will see you all next week. Bye bye.

Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that

Take a minute to like, figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do, having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute, but to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM, shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.