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In this episode, host Betsy explores the complex psychological relationship individuals have with money, specifically focusing on how early life experiences shape our understanding and attitudes towards it. Delving into the concept of ‘money blocks’, or internalized beliefs that can potentially limit our financial success, Betsy draws on Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) principles to explain how to reshape these mental constructs. She highlights the influential role of societal messages and personal experiences in forming our money narratives. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a corporate professional, or someone simply wanting to better understand your relationship with money, Betsy offers valuable insights into reframing your financial narrative for greater prosperity and personal peace.
Transcription:
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big.
Hello, hi, everyone. Welcome. Welcome to the Art of Living big. I’m excited that we’re here today. It is right before a long holiday weekend, Memorial Day weekend here in the US. And this is a time to honor people who have given their lives in the military. And I think it’s also kind of feels like the star of summer every year, you know, and I’m, I’m guessing if you’re in other countries, you have holidays that are kind of like, feel like the kickoff to summer. So we were supposed to go to the beach, but it’s supposed to rain at the beach. So we’re going to be home. And you know, in a lot of ways, I’m like just okay with that. We’re still packing and getting ready to move. You know, we closed on our new house a couple of weeks ago. And now we’re just trying to like, get everything in place so that we can get out the door, we’ll probably move in like three weeks. So we’re getting like a, you know, the landscaper over there doing stuff, we’re making all the things up. And so a lot of a lot of moving parts and a lot of things. And so, you know, sometimes it’s like, I really want to get away. And sometimes you’re like I’m okay, just being at home. I also I almost wouldn’t mind if it was raining here, which it’s not going to be and that’s great. But you know, sometimes when you’re just like, I have to be inside and take care of the stuff I have to take care of is sort of like a good push towards where you want to go. So even though we can’t go to the beach. And you all know how much I love the beach. I am just as happy to be here and to be working on some projects, projects and fun for this weekend. So I hope you guys have some good plans. Something good to kick off your long weekend too. So alright, so there’s a, there’s many different things that I want to tell you kind of a coffee talk episode in a way. I just started a new book called The hidden life of trees. Have you guys heard about this book? I feel like I’ve heard about this a long time ago, but I’ve never read it. It’s by Peter wool who’ve been? I might I’m sure I’m saying that wrong. He’s German, I think because
he talks about how he was like the forest or in a forest in Germany. So anyway, he just talks about how trees really communicate. And I have been really fascinated with this recently. If you guys remember, years ago, I went inside Dr. Joe Dispenza. And Bruce Lipton, I went to New Mexico. And when I was after the event was over, I stayed like an extra maybe two days, so that I could meditate. And I wanted to just walk around the Pueblo and like, just integrate everything that had happened to me in the experience of that event with with Dr. Joe and, and all those people and everything. So when I was there, I had been meditating all week, right, and like really listening in and getting really quiet. And I started doing a walking meditation. Now if you guys are if you guys follow Dr. Joe Dispenza. You know, he talks about healing and along with Bruce Lipton about how we can turn our gene expression on and off. And that our unconscious mind really holds the Blueprint for Health for our bodies. And so when we can get into meditation, we can get out of who we are, right? Get out of like the
almost like the personality of us and get repattern right, because we’re not holding on so tightly to who we are, which might include this disease or this unease or whatever it is that we are dragging along with us. And so in that experience, he uses meditation as the modality to create that space. And he talks about how like you start, you know, meditation, you’re sitting there, the idea of meditation is really that you’re like just sitting, like just sitting and bringing yourself back to your breath. Right. So guided meditation a little bit differently, a little bit different. But Dr. Joe has a variety of guided meditations to to like, help you get outside of yourself and get into your breath. So he also has
The next step, and I think he kind of thinks of this as like, the next step is to be able to do a walking meditation, which is like you’re holding that meditative state, but you’re walking around. And when I was on the Pueblo, I thought this is the perfect time to do this, because the walking meditation is like 45 minutes. And you have to stop at times and sit. And like, think, you know what I mean? So like,
so I was I was doing that I was walking in, it was like, in the woods, all around the Pueblo. And they had benches like all the time, you know, so that I could stop and sit when I was told to sit. So in that experience, I
came home and I, and I said, the I felt like the trees were talking to me like, like,
it didn’t feel like a hallucination. It didn’t feel fake, it didn’t feel like my imagination. It felt like I was just quiet enough where I could hear them.
And it was really was really quite profound. And I felt like oh, my god, like they’re saying things to me. And following me, that’s what I kept saying, like, they’re following me through the woods. And I may have even talked about that on the show, when I talked about that event that I went to.
I felt like, the only way to describe it is I felt like that if I would get like 50 yards up the path, that tree up the path knew I was coming. And I remember thinking like, how do they know.
And then when I came home and told my husband, like I was talking to the trees, he was like, okay, Betsy, like, you know, but now that I’m reading this book, The Hidden life of trees, they do talk to each other. They talk to each other in numerous different ways, through their root systems, through sift through smells, that they like, pass, they, they, they know if there is like a predator chewing on their leaves
to give off a chemical so that their leaves become an interesting, and they’ll share that information with trees down the path, as long as it’s like, up or down wind, right? So they’re, they’re doing it through smell. So then those trees also start to secrete this toxic thing on their leaves, so that their leaves aren’t interesting to the person or the draft, right? That’s eating the leaves or whatever. So this idea sounds so fascinating. I’ve only just begun the book. But last night, I literally couldn’t put it down, I read so much. I try to read 10 pages a day of whatever book I’m reading. And that’s so doable. I share that with you, because that is so doable. And it makes you really move through books, like all of a sudden, you’re like, oh my god, I’m almost done. It only took you know, 15 days or whatever. So
I mean, last night, I could not put it down. So fascinating. So I don’t know if that is interesting to you. Or if you have ever had that experience when you’re like, wait a minute. And I know I hear people talk about plants, right plants, like there is some science, I think around plants having like a low level sound like and if they’re thirsty, which gives me a lot of guilt. I don’t, I don’t water my plants. I’m like thinking about it all day, like oh my god, I’m hurt. I’m harming them. So it’s it’s made me start to think about the plants though. And because the trees communicate and the forests are way more productive when there isn’t the weeding out. I don’t want to ruin it if you want to read this book, but but they need to have each other close by. So then this morning, I was like looking at my plants. And I’m like, should they all be touching? Like, should I have their leaves so that their leaves are touching? I don’t know if plants are the same? And I don’t know if it’ll get into that in this book. And if you know the answer, message me and tell me because that is just something that I can’t stop thinking about now. So anyway, the hidden life of trees if you are interested in reading that book, that’s what I’m up to. This month I finished Dr. Hawkins the levels of consciousness explained that was really good. I had read part of it before and then totally started over this month. And like moved right through it. It was really interesting. So just talking about the levels of consciousness which inside Master Practitioner inside the alchemy Institute, we talk about spiral dynamics, which is really like how, how society is moving and expanding.
And it almost puts like, I just for lack of a better way to describe it like a personality test on each level, right? One level isn’t better than the next. It’s more just a spiral. But levels of consciousness just mapped so good with that. And I love when there are different modalities like that, that you go, Oh, I can see how this goes together, you know what I mean? Really good. So, this week, I worked with a client, specifically on money, and how their internal representation of money was holding them in place. And I want to talk about this a little bit, because I think this is so important. And I have heard, I’ve heard people like Tony Robbins talk about every level that he gets to, he has different challenges. When I’m going I’m using air quotes, money, blocks, right? I hate the word block, but money blocks, no matter what level he’s at. So I share that because, you know, I want to talk a little bit about that concept. And maybe it’ll help you and where you are so. So no matter what level we’re on, we can experience this kind of hiccup, where something where we’re keeping ourselves from what it is that we really want. And, you know, I don’t think money is like the end all be all. And I don’t think anybody that I work with thinks that either. But I also know that when we want to have experiences, or we want to create ease, that money can really help. And I think that in our world, there’s so much conflicting information about money, that for people to get a good internal representation, I’m going to explain what I mean. But to get a good internal representation, they have to be willing to look at all of this and sort it out. It’s really important to be able to look at it and sort it out. Because otherwise you’re just taking in all of the information and feedback from everything else that you’re exposed to in the world. And all of that may be conflicting. So to me, it’s no wonder why just about everybody, just I don’t, there’s nobody, where money on some level doesn’t cause some constriction, right. I think it’s just so normal. And so I want to talk about that, because there’s a couple things that I really want to get across, that are really important. And I think important for you to know and to recognize, maybe around your own money story. So first, I want to talk about an internal representation. And what I mean by that. So, you know, I teach NLP neuro linguistic programming, which is really all about how your, how your internal representations of things, how your concepts of things are creating your experience. And with NLP, we can actually go in and reprogram a lot of those representations that aren’t serving you. So what happens is when I get information in to my nervous system, so I see things, I hear things, I smell things, I experience things, my brain makes a story out of that, right? We’re, we’re meaning making machines, my brain takes all that information and makes a story. And that story gives me what we call an internal representation. And that internal representation becomes the sifter and sorter that sorts out all of the new information that comes in. So to put this in a practical way, and a practical example is when I’m young, from age zero to seven, I am in a brainwave state. That is basically hypnosis. It’s a lower brainwave sleep state. It’s a real learning state. So I’m trying to learn a ton of stuff, right? If you can imagine a little kid. And you know, if you’ve had a little kid or been around a little kid, they are constantly soaking up information, right? They’re constantly watching and observing and like their facial expressions changing, and they’re making sense and meaning out of what they’re experiencing. Now, they don’t have any kind of conscious filter, zero to seven, we don’t have like a consciousness, you know, you have the thing that says, I’m not sure I believe in that, Betsy, right. There’s part of you that has that. That part doesn’t exist. So all you’re doing is going oh, that’s information. I have to figure out where that goes. Oh, that’s new in
formation. Where does that go? So now you’re zero to seven, who are you exposed to, in that time you’re exposed to your parents. And maybe your parents were fighting about money, maybe they weren’t. Maybe money was just around, maybe money was not even an issue. But you are making sense of what money is based on those experiencing experiences. So whether it’s good or bad, you’re still making meaning about it, right? If you would label it as good or bad, it’s all neutral, but how you’re making meaning of it, then you’re also exposed to maybe grandparents or other adults, you’re exposed to teachers, you’re exposed to other authority figures, maybe you go to camp, maybe you go to daycare, all of those things start to make an impact. And it might not be like, well, they sat us down and told us this story about money, it might not be that it might be you’re at the daycare, and you hear maybe not even you’re consciously aware of it, but you hear the owner fighting with somebody about them not paying, right. I mean, it could be anything, and all of that stuff starts to create your internal representation. So now you’re, let’s say, eight years old. And now you have an idea of what money means. Now, on top of all of those exposures, you’re also getting constantly inundated with marketing messages. And marketing messages are geared to get you to spend money, right? So you’re not good enough, you need this thing to be good enough, right? You’ve got to do this thing. And that can be really confusing, because then you’re trying to fit that into the model of the world that you have created, throughout your experiences with your family, grandparents, people of authority. Now, although
those first seven years are the biggest imprint, those are really where your identity around, money comes in. That’s where your identity around all things, your value system, around it comes your beliefs. What do I mean by beliefs is the things that you think over and over again, you think they’re true? You think it’s real, that’s a belief. Okay? Even though so much of that is formed in those first seven years, because you’re in that altered brainwave state, you are still impacted, when you’re 1825 30, something big happens, something highly emotional happens. And you are impacted by that, you get really stressed out about something, you lose your job, all of that begins to impact that filter. So if you could imagine, now, you’re however old you are, and you are taking in information, you’re seeing things, hearing things, experiencing things. And all of that’s coming into your nervous system before it hits your brain. Imagine there is a screen and it has to go through the screen, right? The filter, think of it like an air filter, like when you change the air filter at your house. So that air filter gets put in, and that filter is different for everybody. That filter is all of your specific life experiences. And not only that, how you made meaning out of those life experiences,
because you may have a brother or sister that thinks totally different about something than you. And that’s because they made different meaning out of it. Even though you had the same parents, you still had different experiences, and you still made different meaning out of those experiences. So now your air filters in there, things are coming in. And things are being weeded out. And now you’re having an experience and you’re like, why is this so hard? And I see this a lot a lot with people that are entrepreneurs. Right. And I know I found this for myself too. I was I was excellent salesperson. When I worked for corporate America. It was so good. I used to win awards, I got travel all over a one all the CEO trips and all that stuff.
But when I had to sell myself, it felt different. And that is because it’s a different representation. And so I see this a lot with entrepreneurs where they’re like, Oh my God, why is this so scary? Why do I have so much fear? Why do I feel like I can’t see the opportunity?
And it’s because that filter is just filtering the wrong things. But here’s the biggest mistake that people make. I don’t care if you’re an entrepreneur or you’re just you work for somebody out like I don’t care what the situation is. When you especially with money, okay, so I’m totally framing this around money although it’s probably lots of things but I think especially with money because our says
society has this status thing around money. And so if you have struggled with money, you have thought, in my experience working with people, you have thought there is something wrong with you. There’s something that makes you not as good as other people. Right? Why can’t I figure this out? What is wrong? Other people have? It’s so easy, right? And, and the truth is that it is not any kind, even if you’re overspending, okay, even if you’re overspending, it is not a moral failure. It’s just a pattern.
Like, it’s not like some statement on who you are as a human being, even if you’ve made choices you wish you didn’t make.
Because all it is, is just a pattern that’s running based on how you filtered all the experiences that you’ve had. And most of those filters were created by somebody else and information you took in by the time you were zero to seven.
So it’s not your fault. If you’re in a position that you don’t want to be in now. It is your responsibility to straighten it out.
But give yourself a break. Like don’t think like, Oh, my God, I’m such a loser. I’m so embarrassed. I can’t believe I did. Like, no, it doesn’t have anything to do with you as a human being being good or bad. Even though marketing would tell you that.
All it has to do with is some patterns that are running that you haven’t gotten straight yet, and nobody teaches you how to get it straight. Like that’s, that’s such a huge thing I need. I want the whole world. I mean, I talked about this in Episode 341 Why I think everybody should learn NLP. Because it’s so fast. It’s so effective. And you can do it on yourself. Like, why wouldn’t everybody need? Why wouldn’t everybody learn this? I mean, one of the things, April, you guys know, April that works with me. And she’s my magical unicorn. That’s her official, official title. But she’s been in the school system for years. And she was a principal and a teacher. And we’re like, let’s get into schools and teach this stuff to teachers, right? Because then they could, it could trickle down to kids. Like this is the kind of stuff that we didn’t get. We didn’t learn. And we bought the message that we were somehow like inept or, like, bad because we didn’t do things the way that the world told us that we should be, or we didn’t be the way that the world told us we should be. And so this week, when I was working with a client, I mean, I was really diving into the story, right? Like, what’s the story? How did you get that story? And then I could start to hear things. In NLP, I don’t care about the story, although I need you to tell me the story, because I’m listening for certain words. So if you guys listened to the episode, just a few weeks ago, with my friend, Laura, where we did NLP, you’ll hear that I’m, I’m not listening, necessarily to the story that she’s saying. But I am listening to the specific words, and then I’m drilling down into those words, to find out what that means to her. Because different words mean different things to other people. And one of the biggest problems as parents, as teachers, as human beings and relationships is that somebody says something, and we think it means something different than what they think it means.
And so if you could think about that, and think about like, my internal representation is, if it’s working for me, great. If it’s not, then it’s my responsibility to learn how to change it.
And it’s really that simple. So when we were doing this work this week, I was listening, I found part, part of me really wants to be this way, part of me doesn’t care, right parts, like I need to integrate those so that the client can have way more opportunities. And here’s what I mean by that is that there are opportunities for whatever it is that you want to do. And if you don’t know what you want to do, there are opportunities for you to get clear on that all the time. But our filters can stop us from experiencing that. And one of the ways it does that is by saying, Well, part of me wants this and part of me wants that. But when we pull those together, it doesn’t make you make a decision. But it gives you more opportunity. You start to see things differently. Things become clearer. Things that used to be confusing or overwhelming suddenly become like, oh, well, this makes a ton of sense.
I’m listening for things like negative beliefs, right? Like, oh, well, this is how it is. This is how it always has been. Right. I’m listening for limiting decisions, things that
have slowed people down negative emotions, like I just feel so guilty about this experience in my life. Or I just feel so bad that I can’t figure this out, like we can eliminate that experience that emotion, take the charge out of it, you can still keep the wisdom but you lose the charge. And that honestly changes everything. Now all of a sudden, your filter, you know, the air filter that you’ve put in, it starting to have little glimmers of light come through.
And then all of a sudden, you’re like, oh, wait, I wanted that thing. Look it I didn’t even realize that was right near me. You know, I didn’t realize that was possible. Like, why do we not see things right in front of us, right in front of us all the time.
Now,
when we can start to notice these things, we can start to take action. And when we start to take action, we get a different result. But the result doesn’t come from the action. The result comes from changing who we are. And when we change who we are and how we see the world. That is what creates a new action. That’s when people go I don’t know, it just was so easy. It wasn’t even hard to lose weight. This time. It just seemed normal and easy.
I have somebody that I’ve worked with before that as a client. And he was trying to get his business up to I don’t know, I think it was like $5 million a month. And when he finally hit it, he said like it that was obvious. Like that was obviously going to be the next thing. So it didn’t even and I remember people were like, Well, did you celebrate? He was like, I mean, not really, it seemed like that was not like normal. Because when it gets to the point where you’ve worked past the blocks, it doesn’t seem like out of touch. Doesn’t seem like a big huge jump.
So think about what is the stories that I’m telling myself? Where do I need to rewire? Where do I need to like forgive myself and let go of that story. And if you want to learn these tools come in to the the alchemy Institute, we are teaching you the tools, we’re showing you how to do it up by your on yourself. It’s so powerful. And I just think everybody needs to learn how to make these shifts, because then you’re really designing your life,
then your life is a big life. Because you’ve chosen how it’s going to go, then it doesn’t mean you don’t have hiccups or failures. It doesn’t mean things don’t go sideways from time to time. But it means that you learn from those things and you have the skills to deal with them. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and, and pulled under by them. It’s a totally different life experience. So if you want to join us, join us in the alchemy Institute, you can go to my website, Betsy pake.com, where you can always just email me and I will send you information. There’s no pressure. If the time isn’t right now then don’t do it. But there might be a feeling in you. That’s like, No, I’m really ready to do this. We are doubling down helping the people in the institute making sure that people are moving through the material and getting what they need. And it has been so much fun. Such a good group in there. So if you want if you feel called to join us, then join us if not keep it in the back of your head for later. And, you know, I’ll still be here every week. So it’s so you can just be with me here. So all right. All right. I hope you guys have an amazing long weekend. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here with me. Thank you for sharing this with your friend. You know, if you have a friend who is stuck or struggling right now, and you want them to get the message that like it’s not your fault. It’s just a pattern. You know, it’s just a pattern, then send them this episode that they can hear somebody else say it sometimes just hearing someone else say it from a different point of view makes all the difference. And I think that is how you live a big life. So thanks so much for being here with me. And I will see you guys all next week. Bye bye.
Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do having me speak for an event that you might be helping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy
If you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service Thanks again for listening and I will see you all next week!
