137: Redefining what you REALLY want - Betsy Pake

137: Redefining what you REALLY want


Episode 137: As we roll into 2019 I want you to get clear on what you really want to experience in the coming year. I have a system, a plan to get you there! Listen in and set your alarms because 2019 is going to be a wonderful year for so many of us….. and it can be for you too!

To get on my calendar to book the breakthrough session I talk about, head to my website here.

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You’re listening to Episode 137 of The Art of Living big. Okay, don’t fast forward. Next week is Christmas. I’m gonna take a little vacation. So I won’t see you guys next week. Even though at the end of this episode, I say see you next week, because that is the force of habit. But when you listen to this episode, just know that I will see you in the new year. I wish you all a happy holiday, no matter what you celebrate, and an incredible new year.

Please listen to this episode and do what I asked you to do before the new year because I know the 2019 can be an incredible year of reaching all the dreams and goals that you’ve had 2018 so transitional, but we’re ready and we’re on the precipice of something really incredible. So get ready, buckle your seat belts. Let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life.

Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to this show. So we’re finishing up 2018. We are flying headfirst into 2019. And so as I’ve been talking to people, like more and more, it feels like 2018 was this really transitional year, like a lot of things for people where it felt like an upheaval. But it’s almost as if now they can see that it was part of this transition.

And anytime you’re in the middle of a transition going from one point to another point, it feels like an upheaval, it feels uncomfortable, it feels like there’s a lot of like unrest and things happening that feel out of your control. But the more I talk with people, the more I feel like they are experiencing the same thing that I am, which is 2018 was a ton of transition, a ton of things happening.

But in the end, as it all sort of shaking out and calming down. It feels like it was putting things in place for something really miraculous to happen in 2019. And so I wanted to talk to you about 2019 2019 can be a big year for you. It can be a year where everything comes together, where a lot of the dreams or hopes or ideas that you’ve had begin to come true. But here’s what’s really important that you do over the next couple weeks. And that is to get really clear about what it is that you really want to have happen.

Now, I know, you’ve heard this before. And I know that you probably are like I’m clear, I have an idea. Because I know this is what I’m going through, I’m clear I have an idea. But I don’t have the idea written down yet. And so that’s what I’m going to do over the next couple weeks before 2019. Because the way that our brains work, and the way that the universe works, is that we need to be really specific. And there’s a reason why it needs to be written down.

Now, if you’ve listened to some of my episodes before, and we talk a lot about the brain and brain science and how a lot of the a lot of the things that you hear about the law of attraction can be rooted in science and can be rooted in how our brains actually operate. Our brains are constantly scanning things, our subconscious notices everything that’s happening, but consciously, you’re only aware of about 5% of what’s happening.

So when you get really clear, and you know what it is specifically that you want, it opens up and it tells that subconscious, these are the things I need to be looking for. These are the things I want to have happen. And your subconscious is going to start to notice those opportunities and bring those to your consciousness.

Okay, so we want that process to happen. And we want it to happen easily and we want it to happen fluidly. And we want it to be happening all the time. Right? Because you want to be constantly going oh my gosh, there’s another thing. Oh my gosh, there’s another thing. There’s another breadcrumb on my path, right?

You want that constant. So how do we get that? How do we get that constantly popping up constantly popping up. And you’ve got to write down exactly what you want. And you have to write it down in detail. Now over the next couple of weeks. I am going to be doing this practice. I’m going to be writing it down. I might write something down today.

And then in five days, I might decide I don’t really want that. Or I want that but not in the way that I thought that is progress. That’s your brain starting to sort it out. So actually As you’re thinking through, I want you to come up with a couple different things. Okay? So here’s the little list of what you need to be thinking about, you need to be thinking about what it is that you actually want.

You need to be writing this down what it is that you actually want. Like specifically, like, I’ll give you an example. And you all already, if you listen to this show, you already know what it is. This year, I’m gonna buy a condo at the beach. So that I can see the sunrise every morning, throughout the winter. So next winter, I am going to be spending several months at the beach.

Okay, so I’m going to, I’m going to become a Snowbird. So what the call, yeah, so I’m going to go down to the beach, and spend my time in the sun. Okay, so that’s great, because I’ve had that rolling around in my head. And I can see little clues and little breadcrumbs and things that are happening that could move me in that direction.

But what I’m going to do now is I’m going to write that down. But I’m going to write down the date that I’m going to find the beach house, the date that I’m going to move into it, I’m going to describe what it looks like, how it feels when I get up in the morning, how big my balcony is what kind of chair I have out on that balcony, how much I paid for it, how I found it, I’m gonna make up a little story about how it all comes together. Because I want my brain to start thinking like that.

So that’s a way now I’m not going to get hung up on the way that it’s going to happen. But I’m going to start sort of scripting it out. So I’m going to write down my list, I’m going to buy a beach house on this date, it’s going to cost this much I’m going to move in on this date, I’m going to experience this, then I’m going to write like a little story about how maybe that happens. And I’m gonna read this to myself three times a day. I know that that seems like excessive, right.

But here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to make my list, I’m going to write down exactly what it is I want on a different piece of paper, I’m going to kind of script it out, right, I’m going to have a little visual mind movie that I’m going to create about how that could possibly happen, and how that feels. Okay, now listen to Episode 100 on NLP, if you want to really understand a little bit more about how to really get into the feeling of that.

But if you’ve listened too long, you sort of get that the whole idea of that. So now I’m going back to my list, I’m writing down on paper, in order a list of things in order of importance of things that I really want. So I’m going to put the beach house on there, I’m I have some plans with my business this year, I want to do things differently. I want to help other people expand on their dreams. Like to me, that is what feels really fun.

So I’m starting to work more and more with entrepreneurs who are building something that they want to build, and helping them get the get the sales to actually build that dream so they can leave their day job and do the thing that makes them sore. Right? So I’m writing that on my list. So I’m writing some other things on my list. How do I want my relationship to be with my husband? What do I want happening with my kid? So I’m making my list, putting it in order of importance.

Now, just because I talked about the beach doesn’t mean that that is my number one of importance, but it might be we don’t know. So we’re gonna write it down in order of importance. And then on another page, I’m gonna just, like, expand on it. I’m gonna dream I’m gonna write down all the things like what the chair looks like, on the balcony, who I’m with who, what friends I fly down to be able to spend time with me at the beach? Do you see what I mean?

So I’m good. I’m just, I’m dreaming. I’m allowing myself to dream. And when I use all my senses, it’s starting to spark something in my subconscious. Okay, but on my first piece of paper, I have this list, right? So I’m writing down on paper in order of the importance of the things and the conditions that I really want. Don’t be afraid of making this list too long. Like write down what it is you really want. If there’s 20 things, write down the 20 things, be specific about it.

Change it every day, if you want to as you get clearer, add stuff to it, take stuff away from it, make it so that you have it right. And just know that there’s always going to be changes or additions to it. That’s like we’re constantly growing and part of growing is having desires, right so it and here’s the other thing I want to say because sometimes people go well, I don’t want some I don’t want to kind of I wrote my list and it seems so materialistic. You know Those are experiences you want to have.

You know, I believe that if that is something you want to have, there’s some sort of reason to it. And I do believe that when you I really want a beach house doesn’t mean I’m like this terrible person, because I think that’s where we go right where we go, Well, I don’t want to seem so materialistic.

No, because I think that’s where I could be most creative. I think that’s where I could give back the most to the world. Because I would feel good and I would be energized, I would be able to take care of myself better because I would be freezing, I would be okay, running outside. Do you see what I’m saying. So there is a reason why you want this thing. So be okay with that. Write down your list. And when you have your list, I want you to read it three times a day,

I set a little alarm on my phone, so that it notifies me now most of you are going to listen to this and not actually do it. So if you’re wanting to do it, put it in your on your to do list, like actually take action on it, because it’s one thing to think about it or it’s one thing to like, as you’re listening to me and you’re thinking about some things like that’s great.

But you’ve got to take the next action because 2019 is lining up, the stars are aligned for some really great things to happen. And so you don’t want to miss that. Right? You don’t want to you want to do everything you can to help propel your future to where you really want to go. And then, you know, I say obsess about it. But think about it.

Like during the day, like if I’m going for a run, which I’ve been doing lately, by the way, even though I’m not a runner, maybe I’m becoming a runner, but I am thinking about it, I’m thinking about what it would feel like if I was actually running on the beach, or what would it feel like if I was coming home and having, you know, doing my business in the way that I want like in a specific way that I want. And I get clear about that. The other thing is, I have things on my list that I don’t tell anybody.

And I feel like that is important. Because people love you. And they don’t want you to get hurt. And so they don’t want to tell you. They don’t want you to do the thing that might hurt you. And if it’s something outside of your comfort zone or outside of something you’ve always done, they’re going to be apt, not because they don’t want you to do it or because they don’t want you to succeed, but they might be apt to go Oh, God.

You know, I told some friends about the coaching program, you may have heard me talk about a coaching program that I joined six weeks ago or so. And it was expensive. But I know that I needed to help and I know that that was the program that was going to help me and I knew it was worth it. And I knew I was worth it. I was worth spending the money. I was going to gamble on myself. But when I told a couple people they were like, Oh, dang

Betsy, right.

And so, in order to eliminate that. I keep a lot of things on my list to myself. And when I’m ready. I’ll share it when I’m ready. When I’m seeing the breadcrumbs already. I don’t want anybody knocking. You know, there’s a story that I heard the lady that created Spanx, Sara Blakely. She didn’t tell anybody she was doing Spanx.

She worked at a copier company selling copiers and started Spanx out of her apartment. And didn’t tell anyone because she didn’t want anybody else’s negativity to overshadow her. Right. So she just kept it to herself. She did the work, she kept true to her vision, she had it written down. And she just obsessed on it all day long in between all of the other things she was doing. And it worked. So I want you to make your list, I want you to make it clear, I want you to think about it as often as possible.

And I want you to read the list three times a day. Now, getting faith that this stuff is going to happen isn’t going to just you’re not going to write it down. And then you’re gonna be like, oh, all of this stuff is going to happen in 2019. Yay. Right? You’re not going to feel that right off. But what will happen as you read it three times a day, you’re training your subconscious, that that is what you want. And that now your subconscious is going to try to look for it.

Right? It’s going to try to look for it. And so that will start to lead to like little breadcrumbs, I call it breadcrumbs. Right is little things that go Oh, I should take that action that will help me get there. Ooh, that’s another action I could take. So as you start to see the breadcrumbs, you’re going to start to build a fence. that this could really happen for you. And so when you start getting the breadcrumbs, then perhaps you will feel confident enough to share it with somebody else.

And you can share your success and they will know that it’s coming true for you. When you have new desires, put those on your list, so might be March, and you’re like, I have something new, I really want, add it to the list. If it goes, you know, you don’t add it to the bottom, put it in order. I try to put stuff in order because it helps me see, it helps tell my subconscious, like this is how bad I want this.

This one’s going up on the list. This one, you know, this one, I’m gonna focus on less like I, I can move I move it up and down for whatever reason, that helps me sort of put this all in balance, and to be able to focus on what it is I want. So the other thing is I get specific. So in the writing of it gets specific, you know, if you want a new car, get specific, get specific on what that looks like,

get specific on, like, what color it is how much it costs, what the interior looks like, what it smells like, I have a secret Pinterest board where I am picking out all the furniture for my new condo, right? So I’m going to get that condo, wouldn’t it be nice to be able to have it all picked out. So I’m going to tell you a story about years ago when I decided to leave corporate america and I wanted to start opening my CrossFit gym. And so I sort of had this idea.

And I was working in sales and I was traveling all the time, I loved my job, I had a really great job. But I traveled a lot. And I felt like I had an entrepreneurial spirit. And maybe you do too. So I wanted to do something different. And so I decided I wanted to open a CrossFit gym. So how I did it was I started, I had no idea how this was going to happen.

But I just moved forward as if I did. So I created a list a spreadsheet of all the gear I would need. So I started finding the gear I made a spreadsheet with what it was where I would get it the link to where I would buy it, how many of the item I would need and what the cost was so that I started having a spreadsheet of my the money I was going to make to have make this happen.

Now, different things happen. In in, in that story, you know, that’s a longer story. But as I started doing that, I started to realize there was little breadcrumbs, little things would happen, little things would show up. And what started happening was in my business, in my job as in corporate America, as a salesperson, I started finding bigger and bigger deals to close.

And when I started closing bigger deals, I started getting the extra money to buy the gear. And so I actually started buying the gear, I didn’t know what I was going to do. And I didn’t have the gym. But I started buying it because I had faith and I would put it in my garage. And what I ended up doing was doing boot camps in the park and I bought a van and I filled the van with gear and I actually did like CrossFit in the park and then eventually built to go into a facility and open a brick and mortar business.

And we built it up to you know, almost 100 members. And then I sold it and moved on to the next phase of my life and what I wanted to do, but that was so impactful for me because I wasn’t necessarily doing anything differently. But things were showing up differently for me. So I share that story with you because there is hope that you don’t even know is there. But you’ve got to focus on what it is you really want and get clear so that your brain knows to be looking for the opportunities.

So, you know now part of what I’m focusing on, right? The beach house, obviously. But I’m really focused on building helping other people build their business. So I’m creating some things I’m creating a training for people that you’ll see on my website soon that will help you if that’s you, if you’re an entrepreneur and you’re like I need more sales, I want to build this I want to get rid of my full time job and go work for myself.

Like if that’s a dream that you have, write that on the list, you know, and then set up a time to talk to me, you know, I’ve got you can go to my website and I’ll send you just email me I’ll send you a link to get on my calendar. And let’s see if there’s something that I can do to help you. That’s what I specialize in.

That’s what I’m an expert at sales and marketing. And that’s what’s so fun for me and being able to create that ripple that’s high on my list. I want to create the ripple for other people to start to build a business that they really love. We I have so many gifts, and I think that we are keeping our gifts to ourself, right?

Because it’s scary to shift. It’s scary to put yourself out there. And you, I guarantee if this is you, and you are an entrepreneur, or you want to build something, right, you want to be a coach or a consultant or do something different. What is I’m gonna, I’m gonna read your mind. There’s so many other people that already do that. Right? do you do that? So I can change your mind about that. I’m here to tell you that that is not the that is not the truth, because there is an energy that you have that is different than anybody else.

And I want to talk to you about it. So

anyway, you can go to my website, and I will make sure there is a link there that says book some time with me, and click that link right on my front page, schedule some time with me. Let’s talk. So

I hope that you guys

make this list. It works. And you

can create an incredible 2019.

And you know what i think i think that is how you live a big life. So I will see you guys all next week. And until then, here’s a little message from AD spin.

That’s it.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.