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In today’s episode I drink coffee & answer your questions!
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You’re listening to Episode 151 of The Art of Living big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show. So today we’ve got a coffee talk episode, which is where I’ve got my coffee and I talk. So I’m not totally sure how it’s different from other episodes. Other than I’m going to be answering some questions that you guys had, I got some questions on Instagram.
And there were some questions inside the group. So if you’re not in the Facebook group, come and join us. And here’s the thing, if you were in the Facebook group a couple years ago, it’s different. It’s new and different. So if you go to the art of living big.com, it’ll push you right into the Facebook group. So you can join us there. It’s turning out to be like a fun community. I’m digging it. So I’m going in there. And I’m coaching a little bit and talking throughout the week. I mean, I feel like we’ve been all talking every single day.
So join us in there. Also, I created a new training. So I was getting a lot of questions from people about subconscious work, and about how to actually leverage and if they’re stuck, right, so many times when we’re stuck, or we feel like we can’t shift or we’ve been trying to accomplish the same thing over and over and over again, how do we actually change that.
And so I created a new training, if you go to my website, you’ll see it right there on the front picture. So if you go to Betsy pake.com, you can click on that and get the free training. And it’s like viewable on demand. So just go and view.
And what else,
I had a couple other things to tell you, oh, this week, inside the group, I did a whole thing about manifesting. And why I haven’t manifested the beach, there’s actually a specific reason why I’m not at the beach, I could leave this afternoon and go to the beach. But I would be leaving people I love and situations I don’t want to leave.
So I talk about that inside the group if you want to go in there and find that training, because it might be impacting the things that I’m dealing with might be the things that you’re dealing with too, as you’re trying to create something really new or really different in your life. So again, that’s in the Facebook group. So just join us in there.
And if you like this episode, be sure to share it with your friends. tag me on Instagram when you do. And if you leave us a review, be sure to screenshot it and email it to us and we will send you a free belief self hypnosis audio download. All right.
Now let’s go to the show.
Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake. I’m an international expert in manifesting from your subconscious. And this podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Good morning, everybody. I’ve got my window open today in my office.
And so I wonder if you can hear the birds.
It sounds so pretty. And it sounds like spring, you know when you have your window open and you can hear all that. So I am loving that I’ve got my coffee and I wanted to tell you about something that I have been working on personally over
the last month or so.
So um, we’re gonna rehash in case you’re new here. But if you’re new here, I used to own a CrossFit gym and I used to be a competitive Olympic style weightlifter, which is the snatch and the clean and jerk. And what probably I don’t know two, it’ll be three years this summer. I sort of I competed in the Pan American Masters and won a bronze medal.
And then I don’t think I competed again. Maybe I’ve competed once since then. And so I kind of just fell off the wagon of the competition wagon and so change to I thought I was now in all of that. My daughter got sick and I got sidetracked with things. And I realized that, you know, I’d put on some weight and I wasn’t feeling very good. But more importantly really for me was I didn’t feel like me, because me was the barbell like me was
so much of that like working out. Like
I’ve worked out my whole life. Like even in college, I used to teach aerobics, like the 80s. So like, always been doing that kind of thing. So, I mean, at one point, I think I was even contemplating getting a barbell tattoo. That’s how much I was like, This is who I am. So anyway, in all of that, and so many times when we’re dealing with something like I was with my daughter, so you’re dealing with something that’s like big in your life, it can sidetrack you from the things that really grounded you and the things that made you who you were and made you feel like unique and was your special thing, right?
And when that happens, we kind of lose a piece of ourselves, right? And then some time passes and then we look and we go Wait a second. Like I feel different. I look different, or my life is different in some way. And now, it doesn’t all align. So I’ve talked on and off on the show about how I had gained some weight, right. And I just, I really wasn’t ready to deal with it yet. It just, it still felt heavy. And I felt like I’d been through enough stress. And so I sort of just,
I guess I just decided that that’s how it was going to be right now.
I knew it wouldn’t be like that forever. But I just felt like right now. And probably about a month ago, yeah, I’d say, or three week, let’s say three weeks ago,
three and a half weeks ago,
I decided that, okay, like, let’s do this thing.
Like, I have made a lot of changes in my business
life. And, you know, as I want to grow and move forward, like, it’s time for this to change, too. And it almost felt to me, like, you know, this person, this body is the person that was dealing with a kid that was really struggling and was sick. And now that chapter is closed. So it’s okay to close this chapter for me too. And that realization
was actually really important for me.
And so I decided that I was not going to change my behavior and change my environment, because that’s not what I teach, right. So instead of going like, I’m going to count every macro, which there has been a time where I have done that, right, when I was competing, I wrote a book about it, like, I appreciate that for what it is, but that time wasn’t this time.
So I decided I was not going to,
I wasn’t going to put some big plan in place, I wasn’t going to map anything out. I wasn’t going to open my calendar and pick a gold date. Like all I was going to do was work on my
And so I started focusing only on my subconscious. So I started doing self hypnosis, I started really focusing on the things I was thinking, I started breaking down those belief patterns, I started to identify different patterns of behavior that I was having an asking myself where that was coming from. So again, I did not worry about what I was going to eat. If I wanted to eat a junk food, then that’s what I did. And if I wanted to eat,
like so called healthy food,
that’s what I would eat. I just didn’t worry about any of that. So I wasn’t going to monitor that. And I wasn’t going to stick to some kind of schedule with a working out like all of that. So I did all of this work. And I’ve been doing this work every single day. So totally just focused on the subconscious. Now, about a week ago, I scheduled an appointment with Audrey, which if you remember I talked with Audrey Wentz in Episode 122. When I did some work with her, she is an emotion code and Body Code practitioner.
And so she did some work on my heart wall. So since that time, and I think I’ve talked about this in other episodes, but I have continued to go back and work with her on just like deep healing energy work. Again, it’s the emotion code. I don’t understand how it works. I just know it does. And you know, I like the science behind stuff to know how stuff works. So I’m just gonna say that, I don’t really know, but I know it works. So if it’s the placebo effect, cool, if it’s not amazing, and I just go with it. So I scheduled an appointment with her to see if there was anything energetically that she could help me shift.
Again, I’m not trying to control my environment or my behavior. I just want to do what feels good. Okay. So the cool thing is, after about a week of doing my self hypnosis, I felt like working out felt like a fun idea. And again, I my whole life I had been working out and then had kind of lost that. So the self hypnosis that I was doing was really about creating a new vision of myself. And, you know, lots of times when we go through something, we’re like, I want to go back to that, right?
Like, I want to go back to how I looked three summers ago or whatever, but you can’t go back. Like I’m not gonna go back. I’m a totally different person. And so I have to approach it with all the new, wonderful, hard, painful, beautiful growth that I’ve
had. And so it’s
not gonna look exactly the same. And so I don’t know what that will look like. So it would be really hard for me to go I want to try to recreate what I was three years ago, like it’s emotionally I think that would be really tough, right? So I I want this to flow and I want it to be easy. So I started with the self hypnosis after about a week I noticed I wanted to work out so that’s what I did.
So I have been doing some Beachbody workouts with my friend gent gitana Jackson is a big Beachbody person and I got the workouts from her and been doing shift shop I think which feeds into My, like, kind of masculine kind of working out, like it’s a lot of interval stuff and that kind of thing. I would love to be a yoga person, I really want to be a yoga person, I think my body could finally benefit, actually benefit from yoga. Mentally, I don’t know why I can’t get there.
So if anybody has some kind of magic about that, let me know. But after about a week, I felt like doing it. So I’ve been doing that I’m in my second week now. And it every day feels fun, does not feel like work at all. I have been after about probably like a full week, I decided to put it on my calendar so that it actually took up space, because I found that eight o’clock felt really good.
I was up for an hour and a half or so I could get my coffee and all that jazz. And then I didn’t want anybody to schedule time with me. So I could have
Because it’s felt fun. If there is a day where it doesn’t feel fun, then I’m not going to do it. But what I found is that I did not have to create a structure. I didn’t have to create a plan. I didn’t have to map out the next 45 days of my life, all I had to do was start changing my subconscious patterns about who I was. And when I identified who I really am, the behavior just followed in line with that. So the next part was the food right? So I was just waiting. And I noticed it was kind of a weird thing because I was having like, where I didn’t want to eat junk. But I didn’t
I almost like I didn’t want to eat. I know that sounds weird because I was hungry for sure. A couple days, I had a really bad bellyache. And I actually messaged one of my girlfriends, that’s a doctor. And finally I realized it was because I was so hungry, so I wasn’t even wanting to eat. And anyway, I had then I had the session with Audrey.
And all of a sudden, I feel like just eating vegetables. So I’ve been eating like a ton of fruits and vegetables. And the old me would have been like hyper worried about protein. Yesterday, I felt like beans. And so I had been so I know there was some protein there. And I’m just not worried about it. I feel like I’m definitely moving towards higher vibrational foods. And so I’m just going with the flow. So I’m about a month into the experiment now. And I can definitely feel like my clothes changing. And things shifting for me and
not consciously made any changes or choices,
making the conscious choice to do the subconscious work. So that’s my little update, I’m going to keep you guys updated on that. And it feels super full. Like I have no doubt that now I’m on the path. Like it doesn’t even feel like it doesn’t feel any kind of tension or resistance to that at all. So and I also noticed I’m starting to have dreams.
Were in my dreams, I notice that I feel like the old workout body, you know what I mean? Like, I feel lean, I don’t feel I was noticing in my dreams that before I was feeling like the I don’t look good, kind of like I’m uncomfortable in this. This meat suit didn’t fit the inside, right. So. So anyway, shifting and changing. And I’ll keep you guys updated. But let’s get on to more interesting things. And I’ll answer some of your questions. So I got some questions on Instagram and on Facebook.
So I’m gonna go to the Facebook group here and just go through some of these. So one that I got and I get this question a lot. In fact, I got it on the Facebook group and I got it in Instagram was so I’m just going to read it here. So I’ve got a question when I talk about NLP manifestation meditation using my crystals, etc. My hubby thinks I have lost my dang mind. So how do you deal with people in your life that you love dearly, but they’re not exactly feeling those things.
So here’s the thing. Here’s what I believe. I believe this is one of those cases where obviously you can’t change anybody else. You can change your reaction to people and that might change how that feels to you. But what I have found in my own life, and my husband is I mean he does the whoo that’s it at the end. So like he’s on board.
But when I met him, you know he he wasn’t familiar with all this stuff. He didn’t get it. He didn’t even really know anything about it. He certainly didn’t know who abraham hicks is. But I also when I met him, I knew what football was. And I knew who UGA was the University of Georgia but I was not going to Georgia games. I wasn’t watching Georgia games. I wasn’t really aware I did not own a Georgia t shirt. But his excitement made me excited. I wanted to be a part of that with him.
And I found that as I got to know more about the football, that it was actually really fun and seemed like interesting. And it was fun to follow. And when we’d be in the car, sometime we’d listen to sports radio, a lot of the time we listen to sports radio, and I got to learn stuff that way. So it felt like growth and learning to me.
And it was something he was interested in, right. So to me, that same thing has gone with the crystals and the abraham hicks and the woowoo side of my life, you know, he’s just interested because I’m interested. So I don’t have to push it on him. I don’t have to say like, you have to listen to this.
But sometimes he’ll listen to stuff because I listen to stuff to sports radio, right? So I think that when we can release the need to like, please, I want you to understand, and instead just allow them to partake in your life. And this is part of your life. You know, my husband will when we’re out and he’ll see like a crystal place, he’ll be like, let’s stop and see if there’s a crystal you want. You know, he bought my ticket to Abraham Hicks as a surprise last year. So you know,
I never have pushed
that. But because I was interested in it, and it made him made me happy. He was interested in it right and wanted me to be happy. So I think you know, also releasing the need to have them think about it just like you do. Like, like Craig doesn’t need to have crystals by his bedside. If that doesn’t do it for him, like that’s okay.
But it like having him support the fact that I have crystals by our bedside. And that I had to move the mirror out of the room so that I wasn’t screwing up our Mojo, like all the different things that I learned, right? So he just goes with the flow with that stuff. You know, and I have a football on my mantle. It’s all good. So I think that releasing the need to make somebody think just like you and instead just invite them to like it that you like it. That would be my suggestion there.
All right. Okay, the next question was what? What is it in us that causes self sabotage? When we start progressing towards a goal? What makes us put up the brakes? Okay, makes us put on the brakes. Okay, so here’s the thing, self sabotage, I think there’s two different layers to it. One is, I’m hitting a limit. So my subconscious has a limit of where I’m safe, right.
So if I, if I push up against that limit, my brain will work to help me by making things go wrong by making me screw things up. Right. So by making me anxious, like, that’s a big one that I see. So if I start pushing up against the limit of what I think is possible, then my brain will start to react in different ways.
Now, I have had times in my life, where I have been, I was in a coaching program. And you might have heard me talk about this last year at the end of the year. And it was so uncomfortable, and it was pushing up against my limits. And I would say to my husband, I don’t know what my brain is doing, like my brain is freaking out over this.
So I was aware that I was pushing up against my limit. Now, I have a process that I do, and that I do with my clients to help them extend the limits. So there is a process you can do to help you extend that limit. And that takes a little bit of work and some visualization and actually pushing that barrier back. But I think what causes self sabotage is that you’ve hit the limit of what feels safe to your brain. The other thing that I think causes self sabotage and, and I think it links to procrastination.
So if you’re a procrastinator, I think that is really perfectionism, that sort of masked, and so if it can’t be perfect, right? If you’re all or nothing, can’t be perfect, then you can’t, then you find yourself procrastinating because you can’t do it. If you can’t be perfect, nobody’s perfect. And then that becomes like a cycle of self sabotage.
So I think there’s two different layers to it. I could do an entire episode on that. Maybe I will, at some point. Okay. So somebody else asked me about tips on a self guided meditation. So here’s what my question would be. And this is the question I asked, Do you mean self hypnosis or meditation? So two different things. And I think that the meditate guided meditations are so popular.
So I want to explain to you the difference as I see them, okay. Meditation is when I try to be quiet, and I try to allow myself to have no thought. It’s like riding a bike. sickle, I’m gonna have a thought and then I bring it back to no thought, right?
So when I’m riding a bike, I’m not going totally straight. I’m kind of going side to side, right? So to me, that’s what meditation is like, I’m sitting, I’m quiet, I go to the side, it’s okay, I bring it back, I go to the other side, it’s okay, I bring it back. So thoughts pop up, and I released them and let them go. Right?
Now, there’s also guided meditations, which are really popular. And that is where you’re actually being guided. So you’re thinking about something, you’re visualizing something, you’re expanding the way that you’re thinking in your awareness. That is actually a self hypnosis. So that is actually a little bit different.
That is actually creating a visual in your mind and creating a new reality. So you know, our brains don’t know if we’re actually experiencing something, or we’re visualizing something. When I used to compete in weightlifting, I would do the snatch and the clean and jerk and there was a lift on the snap with the snatch that a weight that
I could not get. And the weird thing is that could not get it in my head. Like I couldn’t visually do it either. And it was one of those things that it was really driving me crazy. And the snatches where you take the bar from the floor, and then you kind of jump and you pull it all the way up over your head in a squat, and then you stand up.
And I could do 85 pounds, like really easy. Like it was no, it was easy. But if I got to 90 pounds, like I literally, it felt like 1000 pounds, and I couldn’t do it in my head. But when I could finally get to the point where I did it in my head, like there was one day where I would because I would try and visualize it. I did it.
And I was like, Oh my god, I just did it. And so I got random stares got warmed up and did it and did it live for the first time. So your brain doesn’t know what is real and what you’re actually doing. So those self hypnosis, those guided meditations actually help you create an expand to a new reality.
So to keep going on the whole hypnosis thing, I’m a big huge fan of hypnosis. I think it is like one of the fastest ways to change how you think. It gets into your subconscious and cream create a really intense and quick change. But here’s the thing, even if I’m hypno sing you hypno sing you even if I’m hypnotizing you, sometimes I make up words on here, I noticed.
So even if I’m hypnotizing you, it’s all self hypnosis. Like, I can’t hypnotize somebody unless they want to be hypnotized. So it’s all self, it’s all within your control. Now, with that said, I think customized hypnosis probably works faster. I know it not probably it does, it works faster, because it’s customized for whatever your blocks are.
But those guided meditations or those self hypnosis, audios, absolutely can help. And like I said, if you did a review of us of the show on on iTunes, screenshot it, email it to us, and we’ll send you a really good one on beliefs. And I’ve got some other ones that are free on my website, if you go to the website, you can download them for free. So, you know, they’re the difference between meditation to me and guided meditation or self hypnosis is what my brain is doing.
Am I actively thinking, visualizing? Or am I trying to be still and see what’s coming up and see how if I can practice being still alright. And then someone asked, I’d like to know if there’s a difference between your subconscious and your intuition. So this is something that I teach inside no limits. So my, this is how I see it.
So in the hoonah, religion, there’s a really good visual and if you could think of three circles stacked on top of each other, and the very top circle is higher consciousness or collective consciousness, right. And then the second circle is my consciousness. And the bottom circle is my subconscious. So I want to open the door between my consciousness and my unconscious. So again, three circles stacked on top of each other.
The two bottom ones are my conscious and my unconscious, and I want to have a door open between those because my subconscious connects, loops all the way around to the top circle, that where the collective consciousness, higher self. So I believe that when your consciousness can connect to the subconscious, that is how you access higher self collective consciousness.
This is how you get different readings on people. You know, when I do some of my, my intuitive healing, that is what I try to do to connect to somebody else and get a feeling for what it is that they’re experiencing. And so to answer that question, your subconscious and your intuition, I think your intuition
is also part of that collective consciousness, right? It partakes in that. And so it’s all, it’s all connected. It’s all like one big loop. But the key to getting to all of it is opening up the connection between your consciousness and your unconscious. And honestly, I think most people like not you guys, because you’re listening. So you’re like, on the path, right and aware, but I think most people, like have no idea. And they think that they’re, they’ve got free will. And they’re like making choices.
But really, if they’re making those traces in their consciousness, and they have no idea about their subconscious, then their subconscious is really running the show, right? It’s really the thing that’s running their life, because we’re run on these patterns. So when you can open that up, either in meditation or with the self hypnosis, right?
With that visual guide to be able to create that connection, and almost telling that connection, what it is you want, by doing the visualization to me, really, really powerful. So, so that is what I would say about your subconscious and your intuition. Okay. So another question. And this will be the last one. So the last question is, how do you tap back into your intuition when life is hard, and you’ve gotten off track and you feel unable to connect to your inner voice?
And I think this is, this is really common. And I think somebody else asked about, like, when you have PMS, which is sort of the same thing, right? Like your life, you there’s an outside influence, that’s making you feel different than you normally would, right.
And at PMS, I guess it’s an inside influence, but it’s something that’s happening to you that you’re like, I I’m uncomfortable, or I’m in pain, you know, if you’re in chronic pain, or, you know, you’re going through something really hard, you know, when I was going through all that trouble with all of and she was sick, and it was such a struggle, such a struggle, I can’t even begin to tell you someday, maybe I’ll tell the whole tale.
But it was such a struggle, I would meditate literally for hours for hours, not self hypnosis meditation, because it was the only way that I could relieve the stress. And it was the only way that I could get back to myself, when we have outside circumstances that are impacting us, right, or that chronic pain or something that’s pulling our attention away from what we want, it’s really important to get quiet enough that you can hear the inner self. Now,
for me, when all of was sick, that was the best way that I could relieve the stress and protect myself from taking on the energy of the pain that she was going through. So it was so intense that it was difficult for me in the beginning to be able to separate myself from her. And if you have a kid or somebody really close to you, then you probably know that feeling.
You know, I’m separate story, but I’m going to tell it because it relates I’ll bring it back. So when I was in high school, you know, and you’ve heard me talk about this before, but my mom died when I was in high school. I was a junior in high school. And I she was in a car accident. And the moment she was in the car accident, I was in a student council meeting.
And I got up I actually said to a friend of mine. I this is my exact words. Like I remember the moment. I said, I feel really weird. It’s not a bad feeling, but I never want to feel it again. Which is strange to me. It was even strange to me then that I would say that. It’s a bad feeling. It’s that I never want to feel it’s not a bad feeling. But I never want to feel it again.
And I walked outside. I actually went out like into the hallway and was walking around like it didn’t feel right. And I didn’t know what it was when my mother had just been in the accent was like the exact time. So I believe that we are energetically connected. So take you back to when all of was sick. It was really hard for me to disconnect my energy from her and it sounds almost cruel, right?
Like, I want it to be compassionate, but I didn’t I knew I could not benefit her in the best way if I was taking on her energy and you probably have people like that. It might be people you work with and you’re taking on their negative energy or just people around you or you No, maybe somebody that you love is sick and you feel so much about it right, that you’ll end up taking it on.
And it’s really hard to find yourself in that. So I would ask myself lots of times when I would have a feeling, is that my feeling? Or is that somebody else’s? And almost, I mean, almost like 90% of the time, I’d be like, that’s not me. That’s not my feeling, but I was taking it on. And so when you’ve gotten off track, and you feel unable to connect your inner voice, I would ask yourself, who? What feelings do I have? And are they mine.
And then I actually would visualize creating a bubble, like in the morning, I would create a bubble around me, that was like a golden light, and I would install it, I would say that I’m going to install my bubble. And I would install this golden light around me that would serve as like a protective barrier. And I felt like I could feel it, I felt like I could almost see it. And it would dwindle as the day went on. Right, I could feel it getting smaller and smaller.
And like, as things would progress and get worse throughout the day, if she was really having a bad day or struggling, I could feel it like the 10 the pressure of it, I almost would feel like the energy of her, which trying to it like infiltrate that. And it felt really hard to hear myself. But again, I knew I could not be the best helper to help get her through things. If I wasn’t, like aligned with me. Anyway, that was when I would start to do the meditations.
And I used to meditate for several hours. The one thing that was really great at that time was that she knew if I was meditating to just let me be. And so it was I could create a container of space. And so if your life is really hard, and you’ve gotten off track and you feel unable to connect, give yourself space, install a golden light and ask yourself, are these my feelings are they somebody else’s, because you might be feeling so many other people’s energies that you can’t connect to yourself.
And if you can start to release some of that, you know, I, as a mom, I had a hard time because I was like I am. Like it My child is suffering, right? Like I would be cruel not to feel it. And it felt like I can’t be happy. If she’s not
Like that doesn’t seem right. And then recognizing that my energy was best served to help her when I could connect when I could be
up even if she was down which feels
so counterintuitive, but after enough practice, I got really good at that. And when I got really good at that, when I got to where, you know,
she would come into my
room at three o’clock in the morning screaming because she was so depressed, she couldn’t stand it, and she’d come and get me, you guys, it was really bad, I could still remain happy. Which felt so freeing and horrible at the same time, right? But once I got to that point, she got a lot better. Because I was able to effectively create change, find the help and like search out new options,
right? Whatever if I’m at a point where I’m, like, desperate
and sad and freaking out, like
I’m not effective at doing that. So
a long answer to that question which is like really, you know, that should be the most important thing.
I think that is the most important thing in your
life. You have a problem with your spouse, make sure you can hear yourself You got a problem at work, make sure you can hear yourself You got a problem with somebody sit make sure you can hear yourself like everything, make sure you can hear yourself. And I think going all the way back bringing it back to you know what I’m talking about that I’m doing with the my experiment with my subconscious and eating and working out. I’m really just making sure I can hear myself. Right I’m taking off the layers of the other junk like metaphorical layers and physical layers
right of stuff and listening to myself.
those are my my answers to my questions here for our coffee talk today. Thank you guys so much for being here. If you liked this episode and you think somebody else could benefit from it, please share it. If you share it on Instagram tag me I love that. That’s my love language. It makes me jump up and click my heels together. And I hope you guys have an awesome week. Remember to join us inside the group The Art of Living big calm, we’ll bring you right to the Facebook group. And there is that free training
on my website at Betsy Pake calm.
All right, you guys go out
how kick ass week and I will see you next week and as always, here’s a little message from my husband.