104: New Moon Rituals, Escaping Negative Self Talk and Manifestation Issues - Betsy Pake

104: New Moon Rituals, Escaping Negative Self Talk and Manifestation Issues


In today’s episode, I answer your questions! We talk about my new moon ritual, where I set my intentions for the month and how to clear your space and your mind for something new.

I also answer a question about negative self-talk and how to shut down that voice that stops you from doing new things.

And finally, we talk about manifesting things you want and why it isn’t working.

This episode is great for anyone who has been listening to the show and has clarifying questions on implementing in their own life or anyone who is tired from the pressure of goals and struggle and wants a new way to live their life.

Thanks for listening and sharing with your friends!


Welcome to the art of living day.

I’m your host, Betsy Pake. And this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas

to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the show this week, I can’t believe it’s already in the middle of May. And anyway, I was putting this together this morning. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, the time is flying. So I want to get to some questions today and today’s episode. And it’s just some questions that people have direct messaged me, like from my stories on Instagram or through Facebook. And so I wanted to see if we can attack a couple of those this morning and maybe get some clarity on some things moving forward. Now, the first one that I want to talk about is, someone asked me what my new moon ritual was. Now, if you follow the moon cycles, or you like have like a general idea of what that is, the New Moon is on the 15th of May this month. And so if you’re listening to this before that you could develop your own new moon ritual, if you’d like. Just knowing that that’s when the new moon is. But if you listen after that there is a new moon every month. So you could do it at any time. So I want to talk about what my new moon ritual is. And I use, I feel like I’m this combination between sort of the spiritual Whoo, and the like, practical brain science stuff of the NLP that I love so much. And so when I think of the moon cycles, and following the moon cycles, I really think of it in terms of not like the moon is actually doing something specifically to help me. But that it’s, I’m using it as a guide. And I’m using it as a natural structure

of following through and an ebb and a flow of nature. Right. So when I’m, I’m going to talk about some of the things I do for my new moon ritual, but you’ll start to see that it really is just, I’m setting myself up on a monthly cycle. And that’s how nature moves to write. And so it just makes a lot of sense to me. And it, I have found it just to be a really good way to live my life and live my business and all of that. So, alright, so the new moon, what is the new moon First of all, because when I first started doing this, I was confused about the new moon and the full moon. So there are different moon phases. And the first is the new moon. And that’s actually when it’s black. So you actually wouldn’t really be able to see the moon on a new moon, as opposed to a full moon where you would totally see the whole moon, okay, so they are sort of on opposite ends, 15 days between them. So if you think of like a new moon being at 12 o’clock, a full moon is at six o’clock, okay. So when we start with the new moon, it’s where the moon is actually dark. And then we move into a crescent moon. And that’s when you start to be able to see the little bit of light the crescent moon, then we move to a first quarter moon, you don’t have to remember all this, I’m just sharing it. So you kind of know, to a quarter moon, right, so the first quarter because it’s the first time you’re seeing the quarter of a moon, then the gibbous moon, then you’re at the full moon, then you move to the disseminating moon, then the third quarter moon, the balsamic moon, and then you’re back to the new moon. Okay, so that’s sort of the cycle if you can think of it. So when I do this practice, I really do it as a way for me to keep time and keep focused on whatever my intention is for that cycle. Okay, so I’m going to share with you how I do it. You can add your own stuff, you can not do any of it, whatever works for you. Alright, so when the new moon is coming, what I like to do, because I like to remember I’m using this like for my life and my business. So how I kind of think of my think of everything globally, right. So I know I’ve got a month a whole moon cycle, and what do I want to have happen in that month? And what do I need to feel or be or have prepared to have that happen in the month. And so what I do is I just set aside some time where I sit down and I set an intention for the next 30 days. Now, I really liked this practice because it’s different than goal setting. So I’m not sitting down and going, I’m going to lose seven pounds or I am going to make you know $8,000 this month I’m gonna, like I’m not it’s not about a specific goal. I really do it in terms of an intention like how I want to feel. And so I would do something like if weight loss is your goal, then I would do something in an intention that’s more like I want to move every day and feel healthy in my body. I want to make I’m taking time to breathe, I want to make sure that I’m being intentional with the foods I eat, and that I’m present in my body when I’m eating the foods, you know, as opposed to being on social media or whatever, while you’re eating. So, think of intentions that way, it’s not about setting a goal, it’s really I moved to the feelings of what I want to have happen. Okay, so I set aside some time. And I set my intentions and I write it on an index card, and I keep the little card on my desk, if you follow me on Instagram, or you’ve watched my Instagram stories, you’ll see that every morning I, I have a like a little altar on my desk, and I usually show it and I pull a card every morning. And so I put my intentions there with that. So just so I see it every day, and it’s around me. So I spend some time and I set my intention. And then I just sit with myself. And usually this is a moment where I’m, I’m, I have lit some candles or I have some incense going. And it’s just like a quiet time where I’ve set that intention. And now I just envision it. I think that we don’t spend enough time just having a moment to envision. And so I think about what it’ll be like, throughout the month when I’m doing that intention when I’m actually living that. And at the end of the month, how could I have changed? What could be impacted? What would shift in my life? How could I feel different? And I really try to get into that feeling. Now, if you listen to Episode 100, with the NLP episode, you know, I talked about using all of your senses. So I really tried to see what would that feel like? What would that

smell like? What would that taste like?

What would that look like, you know, all of those things, and so that I’m really in it. And that’s a way that you can really check to make sure that you’re really in the moment that you’re really having an envisioning experience that’s full, because you’re hitting all of your senses. And you’re seeing that vision through your own eyes, as opposed to watching yourself like you’re watching a movie. Okay, so fully associate with it, use all your senses get a real clear vision of what that would be like and what that would mean to you. And if this intention was something that you know, you follow through on, what could that really mean for your life. Alright, so now that I’ve done that inner work, I’ve set my intention, I had that envisioning time, I had the comp time with the candles and the incense and all of those things, right? Then what I want to do is I like to clear my space. So one of the rooms I’m in the most is my office. And so I clear out my office, I throw away bits and pieces of paper or I scan them and put them into Evernote, I bought, you know, I make sure my plants are watered, I make sure you know everything’s clean and clear and that there’s not you know, by the end of the month, there’s books piled and papers piled you know, the drill. So I want to make sure my space feels really clear. Now the other place where I spend a lot of time is the kitchen. And so I go in, and I clear out anything in the fridge, that’s yuck, I wiped down the fridge like I just want to, I’m basically cleansing the spaces where I am. So I’m just going in and just making sure there’s no clutter, I believe that if there’s clutter around us, it clutters our mind. And, you know, our outward is a direct reflection of our inward and I want a lot of clarity, especially moving into a new moon with a new intention. And so I go through and I clear that space as well. I usually encourage my daughter to clean out her room and you know, make sure everything’s clear there. And then I go around the house, and I sage, my house and then I Palo Santo my house. So I’m going to explain to you what that is. So sage, you can get Sage bundles at any kind of metaphysical store. It’s just it’s Sage that’s bundled together and wrapped together. And you can light it and has a smell to it. But it’s not a bad smell. I actually really like the smell of sage. It’s a particular smell though. So you can see if you like it or not, but you can get it you can get them on Amazon. So I take I have like a little


like a little I think it’s really like an incense holder like a round incense holder and I use that to catch any of the ash from the sage. And I start at the bottom row of my bottom level of my house. So I go to the basement, which I don’t spend a lot of time in the basement but my husband does. And really what I’m trying to do with this age, if you understand about energy that I’m trying to just shift and move the energy around. So I opened a window I actually opened my office window which is on the top floor. I go down to the basement with my Sage I light my sage and it will start to smoke so it’s not a lot of smoke is not going to set up your smoke alarms but it just I just kind of move it around and I keep the lighter in my back pocket. And so I kind of move it around and I go from it from like the back door. So I start at an entry point. And I just go to the left all the way around. And I go into all the corners and all on the walls. And I just move the sage up and down. And I just


a little thing that I say that I actually got from Sarah Jenks, I say, I just ask that all of the energy no longer serving me be returned to its original owner and leave my system now. And then I call back out. So I’m going to get to that part. So that’s what I say I’m asking all the energy no longer serving us to be returned to its original owner, and to leave our home now. So that’s how I kind of go through I go through the whole downstairs, then I go upstairs and I do the same exact thing. Turning to the left all the way around, I get an all the closets It’s uh, you know, the whole thing maybe takes me like 15 minutes, like going around, I have a pretty big house. So like, you know, if you go to smaller place, that won’t take quite as long if you got a bigger place, it’ll take you longer, but it takes me about 15 minutes, all three floors. And I have the window open in my office and I have that be the last place I go. And I just asked all the negative energy that’s no longer serving us to leave through the window. All right, so that is saging my house. And then I start back downstairs with the Palo Santo. Now Palo Santo is a wood, it does not burn like incense, you have to continue to move it to keep the smoke going. But it smells really pretty. It sort of has a sweet smell. And I like that to instill the new intentions into my space. So again, I go all the way down to the basement. And I will tell you there have been times where I’m doing this or sometimes I’ll do it mid month. And I don’t go all the way to the basement because I’m not ever really in the basement. Like I just do the top two floors, just just so you know. So but under the new moon I tried to go. So I’ll go all the way down the basement, and I’ll go with my Palo Santo. And then I just say call back all the energies and frequencies of my highest good to be placed back in my soul and my system. And again, that’s something I got from Sara Jenks, her Sage ritual I really like. And so then I do the same exact thing with the sage up and down the walls in the corners, which is really important. I just open all the closets and I stick my hand in there, you know and wave it around and get the smoke because the smoke is going to just shift the energy, it’s going to shift the air right, which is going to shift everything all the way upstairs and then out the window of my office and then I shut my window. Alright, so that is how I clear this space, the energy space. So now I’ve set my intentions and I’ve envisioned I’ve cleared my physical space, then I clear the energy space. And then I have crystals that I have on the little altar on my desk as well as by my bed and there’s one that I have in my bathroom. And so what I like to do, and periodically throughout the month, I charged those crystals on a cell A night plate that I have, I have like a cell and a wand and I just line the crystals up overnight. But I will put the crystals out either in the moon, the moon light, or sometimes I do it the next day in the sunlight. So it gets direct sun. I mean, the moon is still out, right but I’m also getting sun, I have a thing with sun that I love. And so I’ll do it that way. And then when I bring the crystals in, I just hold them to my heart and I just set an intention for each of the crystals. So what it is I want this crystal to help me with now I believe that the crystals are great. Well, I obviously they have their own energy vibration, right? Because they’re rocks and from the earth. And everything has a vibration, but I set the intention because what I believe that does for me is when I see it, I remember, right. So it’s it’s recalling that intention to me every time I see it. And for me, I think that’s part of the power of it is just to serve as a reminder. And so I’ll just go through and I’ll take each of my crystals and I have one that’s like really, really pretty pink. It’s not rose quartz. It’s actually pink halite, but that one, I just, you know, I set the intention. I know that there’s meanings to crystals. Here’s my point. I know that there are certain meanings like pyrite is supposed to help you with, you know, money and abundance and those kinds of things. And that one’s obvious to me because it’s glittery, it’s like gold glittery. And so I do see abundance and that when I when I pick up that crystal and so typically that is what I’ll set the intention for that. But I have some others like I have a pink highlight and it’s just really pretty. And so I’ll set the intention based on what I feel about it. Not necessarily what the stone is supposed to do, if that makes sense. So not necessarily what the crystals what they say, you know, Rose Quartz is for love or whatever. I’ll do it just like that. When I see it, whatever it is the intention that it reminds me of at that time and blending in with the intentions that I’ve set, right. So if I’m using the intention that I talked about earlier, where it’s that I’m going to be in my body, and then I’m going to, then I would

set the intention for the Rose Quartz to just remind myself of how worthy I am, to have love and of loving myself and of self care, and all of those kinds of things. So if you can kind of see how that meshes in with my intentions. So that is the long and short of it, that is how I do my moon, New Moon ritual. And I will tell you that you can do this at any time, I mean, the New Moon is great, because, you know, it’s kind of a start to the whole cycle. But it doesn’t matter, you could start this at any time, you can do all that at anytime, and just just follow the moon cycle from a different space. So, you know, use that use that to think differently about goals and things that you’re trying to manifest in your life. Because thinking differently is how you start to get different results, right? So maybe something to consider or to take bits and pieces of that that serve you. Alright, so my next one is, um, okay, so actually, this is a really good one. How do you turn off negative thoughts in your head, I can’t seem to stop read the reoccurring negative thoughts or negative things about myself. Okay. So for myself, you know, we all have times, and I call it the Gremlin. Like we all have these times where we think negative things about ourselves or have a reoccurring thought pattern. Or even like something that’s happened or something you said, That was stupid when you were, you know, 14, or whatever it is, like we all have those times. But if it’s something that is really in your craw, maybe you had a negative interaction with somebody, and then you keep thinking about and keep thinking about it, and you’re like, why, why am I continuing to bring this up in my own mind? So there’s a couple different things I would say about that. One is I would, I would sit and ask your intuition. What lesson it is that you’re trying to learn, because there’s a reason that it keeps coming up for you. And it’s because there’s something that use you are supposed to notice or need to learn from it. But also, then there’s a point where we just want it to go away, right. So if you want to learn how to talk to your intuition, I did do an episode on that. It’s Episode 94. So you could check that out. But I would sit and just talk to your intuition and find out what lesson you’re supposed to learn. And then when you’re really ready to let it go, and you really want to let it go. I have done an episode on changing your negative self talk. It was Episode 8484. So 94 was the inner being talking to your inner being an 84 was the negative self talk, but I’m going to tell you the two things that I’ve been doing recently. The first is EFT, which is tapping I did an episode on that, too, last year, then I think it’s like Episode 17. But tapping is where you’re actually tapping on your meridian points. And they are like the acupuncture points on your hands on your face, and on your collarbone and on your back. And I actually do on my fingers too, so that I use tapping. If you guys would like to learn more about tapping, let me know come to my Instagram and just let me know, I might just do like a online, like a zoom webinar thing where you can just come on, and I’ll teach you how to do the tapping, because it’s so so powerful. And really what’s happening when we have these negative kind of rings in our head going around and around and around, as we just need something to like jump us off that track into something else. And I think tapping is a really wonderful way to do that. The other way to do it is to use an NLP technique called this auditory swish. So basically, this is how it goes. And I use this one and I’ve used this one for a couple years, where as soon as I get that sound in my head, where it’s like, oh my god, I can’t believe you, you know, or you don’t deserve that, or whatever the heck it is that’s coming up. I immediately imagine now if you listened to Episode 100, and you heard the NLP episode, we talked about all of our five senses, right? So when I hear that voice, there could be a picture in my head. There could be a there’s a sound associated, there might be a color associated with it, all these things. Typically, if it’s if it’s something that is makes you sad or depressed, typically that is going to be a much more auditory thing. So that’s actually a voice you’re hearing in your head. So I just want you to get curious about it. When you get curious about something it actually starts to change your brainwaves. So instead when you feel that

oh my god so the first time when you’re like oh, there it is again. Get go Okay, wait a second. What is the words I’m hearing? What is the phrase what is it that I’m what what is it that’s happening? Right, get super curious about it, and then see if you can play with a little bit. So see if you can turn the volume way down, see if you can turn the volume way up, see how that changes the experience for you. And what I bet you’re gonna find is that when you turn the volume way down, or even if you can make it sound like staticky like, like an old timey radio, turn the volume way down, get make it staticky. And then all of a sudden, you’ll notice that the pole that it has on you goes away. Alright, so you got that part. The next part is I want you to imagine yourself, like you see yourself across the room, like maybe you right where you are, right now, if you’re in the car, you imagine yourself in the driver’s seat looking at you. And if you’re sitting at your desk, like you imagine walking into the room and seeing yourself at your desk,

and when you see yourself,

I want you to notice how you feel. And I want you to walk up to yourself. And if you’re driving, just imagine this, doing this when you’re when you’re at a stop sign, or when you get home. So don’t do it while you’re driving. But just imagine walking up to yourself, and looking yourself in the eyes. And I want you to notice what you hear that’s truth. Ask yourself, what is true about me. And typically, you’ll hear something like, I’m totally lovable, and worthy, or something like that. And then I want you to just notice that. And then, you know, when you have a crystal glass and you wet your finger, and then you rub your finger around the crystal glass, and it makes like they were like that humming sound. So what I want you to do is imagine a crystal glass. And the sound that’s coming is what you just heard, I can what I have heard is I completely love and respect myself. I completely love and respect myself and that, that crystal room. And I want you to imagine taking the crystal glass and it’s big enough so it fits over your head and I want you to put it down over the top of your head. And I want you to put it right at like your ear level mid mid ear level. And now I want you to just hear that over and over and over again, I completely love and respect myself. And take big deep breath and then just imagine the surf coming in and washing it all away. So a big surf, you can kind of hear the foam, big wave crashes, and then it kind of goes back into the sea. So what you can start to do with this is the moment you hear the negative self talk, oh my god, Betsy, you can’t do imagine turning the volume way down immediately the crystal glass I completely love and respect myself and this sand or this surf coming in washing it away. All that happens superduper fast. Okay, so again, volume down the new sound around your head and the surf to wash it away. I noticed now that I do this so fast. I completely love and respect myself, like I cut myself off in my head. And if I hear negative self talk, like if I’m driving, because lots of times, I feel like that’s where it comes up. Because you’re like alone. I’ll say it out loud. I completely love and respect myself. And what I noticed is that many times the things that I’m thinking about our things that happened like years ago, and probably whoever I was with doesn’t even remember it anymore. But I’m recalling it because my brain is trying to keep me small, because small is safe for my brain. But do you want to live small? No, of course not. We all want to have amazing experiences and meet new people and live a really full life. But if you’re allowing your brain to constantly squash you down, it will be much more difficult. So don’t give up. Don’t try this technique just once like really try and see if you can get this going. And I do it so fast. Now like many times I don’t even hear the end of the stupid thing about myself. Before I go, oh my god, I completely love and respect myself. And what I noticed is that the feeling I get is a compassion for who I was at the time. So who I was when I did something stupid, was not who I am right now. And right now I might do stupid stuff. But I will learn from it. And then I won’t do I’ll be a different person next week. Right? And so I think if you can start to do this, you’ll start to shift the way you see that. And you’ll start to look back at the person that you’re like, Oh my god, I can’t believe I did that. But you’ll start to look at that person with compassion and allow yourself the same grace that you would give somebody else who had done something stupid. And probably you’ve been with people who have done something that they deem as, as stupid. I’m using that word but in quotes, so something they deem is stupid that you don’t even remember. So everybody has these and everybody’s worthy of love and acceptance of yourself. So try this auditory swish and see if that can help you. Alright, what do we get on time? 24 minutes I go. I’ll get one more. Let me see if I can do this one quickly. All right. So this said, I listened to your manifestation episode, but I can’t Manifest ANYTHING, which just sort of made me laugh. I have an idea. I imagine it and I look for the signs, but I don’t see any What am I doing wrong? So I could do a whole episode on this. But let me just say that you’re not doing anything wrong. Okay, so you’re not doing anything wrong, you are manifesting.

You’re constantly manifesting every single thing that happens to you all day long. But what’s happening is you’re not consciously manifesting, perhaps the things are just happening to you in default. And what I hear you saying is that you really want to be able to consciously manifest and, you know, bring forth whatever it is that you’d like to have in your life. One of the things that I do is, in the morning, when I pull my card in again, I pull it, I have a deck and I recently have the ones I have several decks of cards, but the ones I love, love, love that I always come back to is Gabby Bernstein’s the universe has your back cards, they’re beautiful, and they just have a simple message. There’s nothing to decipher, you can interpret it and and have it help guide you, however, however, feels right to you when you when you see it. So what I do is I pull my card, and then I just say, and I actually say it out loud. I know if someone heard me, they may think I had, you know, jumped off the choo choo train. But I just say like spirit guides. And sometimes I’ll say it like this, I’ll be like spirit guides, or my mom or my grandmother or infinite guides, Archangel Michael, I need your help today, help guide me help show me the path. And if the intention that I’ve set, and if what I want to manifest isn’t the right thing for me, then show me the steps to the right thing helped me become a person that that that I want to be helped me become a person that helps people help me be a light for others so that they can find their true path. And I mean, literally, this is what I say so and and then I say this, and make it obvious. Because I need a lot of help. I need it really obvious. And I don’t know if that all of that matters. I don’t know if I’m telling my brain to make it obvious, I do not know. But it works. And so I make it obvious to show me the right way. And then I just trust myself. And really what I’m doing is I’m looking for science, but I’m also just looking for how I feel. So if something feels more fun, then that’s probably on the path to the right thing, right? Watch your words, Watch your words that you use and see how you’re focusing. Because it may be that you are saying you want something in your head, like when you go to manifest, I really want this thing. But the words you’re using are words of lack, and that you’d never believe it would be true. Because remember, the universe works off of vibration, not just what you’re consciously thinking. Although that has a vibration, what it’s working off is your subconscious beliefs. And the clues to your subconscious beliefs are going to be in the words you use. So let’s say any of you listen to my manifestation episode, I talked about how I manifested that trip to the beach. So let’s just say you want to manifest a trip to the beach. But every time you see someone on Facebook, that is on a trip, you go, well, that must be nice. Or you get a really deep feeling of constriction. You know that feeling when you get that? That is a clue. And that is where if it was me, I would stop and get curious about that. And then I would do like some EFT tapping on that. Or I would do like the auditory swish on that something to help clear it so that I’m releasing my constriction my subconscious belief pattern about it, because that is what’s keeping you from the thing that you want, if I were to guess. And then the other thing is, I say thank you, like constantly, like, out loud, like prayer hands, like an arms in the air. Like, like in the morning, I go outside and sit and drink my coffee or whatever. And I go, Oh my God, thank you, thank you for this amazing day. I know something miraculous is gonna happen. I am so grateful just to get to be here and see this and sense this and I can hear the bird like I go through, I can hear the birds again. So I get super thankful. And to me that’s, I know, that’s the gratitude thing, but for me, it’s like I’m specifically thinking for the science. So like, I am thankful that I have all my senses so that I can get all the signs that I’m going to get from you today. And I’m ready and I’m excited and I know that if it’s the you’re gonna guide me on the right

path, and then when something happens, where I go, Oh, that was right. Like I know that was right or I heard That or I felt that in a different way I go, Oh my God, thank you. Thank you, thank you, I felt the sign like I know it. And so try that because it’s going to shift your awareness and see if that starts. And the other thing is if your belief system if you’re trying to manifest, you know, a million dollar lottery ticket, but your belief system, you might have layers and layers and layers and layers on why that would never happen. Why don’t you find something you believe could happen? And try that first? Like, do you believe that somebody could bring you a cup of coffee? Do you believe someone could buy you lunch? Do you believe you could get a call today from a friend you haven’t heard from in a while, like, what is it you really believe would be, like, so easy, and maybe you’re like, that would be obvious. Like that even happens on some days already. We’ll try to bring it into existence today. See if you can make it happen today. Because then you’ll start to see how it feels. And then when it happens, celebrate it get super excited. You know, we don’t spend enough time getting really excited about the good things. Our brains aren’t designed that way. They’re designed to be high end to look for the bad stuff, because it’s trying to keep me alive. So I want to really celebrate the good stuff. Because I want to be training my brain to be like, Whoa, that’s really good. Okay. All right. Thank you so much for listening.

I hope that this helped you and served you.

Please come find me on Instagram at Betsy Pake. And thank you for sharing this with your friends because you know what, when you share it with your friends that helps me feel like I’m living my big life and you know what? You deserve to live a big life to thanks so much. We’ll see you next week. Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.