108: Creating an Aligned Life with Rachel Thompson - Betsy Pake

108: Creating an Aligned Life with Rachel Thompson

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PODCAST

Today on the show I share a conversation with Rachel Thompson. Rachael is an author, entrepreneur, and host of the Mindful Mondays podcast.

We talk about how to find happiness from the inside out instead of from the outside in. So often we look to outer circumstances to make us happy or to define our emotions, but there is a way to be in control and aligned from the inside out.

Rachel shares loads of wonderful ideas to move through the world in a way that brings you more happiness and peace.

You can find Rachel at her online home at https://www.mymbse.com/ and find her podcast, Mindful Mondays on iTunes.

Transcript:

Hey everyone, welcome to the show today, I have a special guest on today my friend Rachel Thompson is joining us. Rachel is an author and entrepreneur and she hosts a podcast called mindful Mondays, mindful Mondays offers a weekly reflection and a guided meditation. So you’ll need to check that out. And she has her own business called mind body and spirit entrepreneur. And her business actually combined self development and meditation resources with information on how to mindfully start a business. So she noticed everybody was searching for really the same things in life, you know, happiness and fulfillment. And then they started a business thinking that would bring the happiness and fulfillment. But what she wants to do is turn that upside down. And instead have you focus on your happiness and fulfillment, and then get in aligned action to actually figure out your business and what it should entail. So really fascinating. Today on the show, we really talked about all the things. We talked about meditation, we talked about mindfulness, we talked about interrupting the pattern and how to start to bring a little bit more happiness, joy and relaxation into your life. So I really hope you liked this conversation. Thanks for listening this week. And let’s go to the show. Welcome to the art of living big. I’m your host, Betsy Pake, and this podcast is designed to share interviews and new ideas to help you redefine what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hey, everybody, welcome to the show today. Today I have a special guest with me, I have my friend Rachel. Hey, Rachel.

Hi, Betsy. Thanks for having me on.

Yeah, I’m pumped that you’re here today. Tell everybody a little bit about you and what you do. And then we’ve just got you and I chatted a little bit before we have all kinds of fun stuff to talk about. So all the things as we like to say, all the things not holding back. Yes.

So

I own a company called mind, body and spirit entrepreneur. And what I found is that so many people look outside of themselves for happiness, they look for that perfect business without perfect relationship. And there is an aspect of happiness that comes from the outside, in a sense. And what I mean by that is it we we have to pursue our dreams in this material world. However, we have to find that happiness from within us first. So I created a business that helps individuals discover their own happiness, and find peace and balance within themselves. And then from that centered place, then they go and look for the business they want to start or that book that they want to write, you know, they’re able to actually pursue their dreams. And they’re not searching for those dreams to solve all their problems. Rather, they’re innocent, solving other problems first, and then from that happy place, going out and searching how they can find something that matches this internal state that they fostered. And so I really do that through I have a mindful Mondays podcast with my patients, some different courses and books that really target, you know, getting your mind, right, getting your spiritual body and your energy, right. And then using that to manifest what you want in your life.

That’s super interesting. And you know, one of the things that we talk about on the show a lot is being in aligned action, as opposed to just, you know, there’s that hustle, hustle hustle mentality out there. And personally, I don’t resonate with that I kind of hate it. There are moments where I feel like it’s a hustle, but it’s a hustle because it feels so good. Which makes it not a hustle, I think. So it makes it aligned action, right. So that’s really what you’re saying is to get in a space where you feel really good and you’re aligned, and then take action and discovering what you want to do.

Absolutely. And it requires but like you said, sometimes when you’re coming from that alive space, you are hustling, but it’s a happy hustle. It’s not one where you’re just grinding away and you’re hating every second of it. And you’re just hoping that once you make X amount of dollars or reach a certain amount of success, then you’re going to be happy. You’re doing it from a place of purpose. Yes. And you know, on the other end of that, and it’s an easy trap to fall into is being so focused on that alignment and the energy that you almost forget to take action.

Yes, yeah. Yeah. So let’s talk about that a little bit. Because I think that, um, I think the definition of hustle is probably different than aligned action, you know, so when you really get feeling Good, you might feel like you’re working hard. But that’s you’re not hustling. You’re not grinding, you’re aligned action working hard. But then there is that other side of it, right? Where if you’re getting yourself really Zen like every day, and then you just never take action on things. So what’s the line? Like? How do you how do you balance that? No? How do you know what to do? Um,

so that’s a tough one. And I am a believer just from my own personal journey and experience and just from talking to others, that we have stages in our life. And some of those stages are meant to go within, and focus on ourselves and focus on our energy, and maybe we’re detoxing, and we’re, we’re discovering unhealthy thought patterns, we’re really working on ourselves. But we can do that forever. So I feel like there’s periods in our life where we do that. And then there’s periods where we’re feeling pretty good. And that’s when you know, okay, it’s time to take action. Because once you get into that alignment, you start to have ideas, you start to, you’re feeling really good, you’re feeling a lot of energy, you really have to capitalize on that. Because when you’re in that state, what you produce, you know, the work that you do, the ideas that you have, will naturally bring you more success. But I think too many people wait for that, like, you know, huge sign from the universe, and you can procrastinate for your whole life, if you’re waiting for that. So really, you know, in my own journey, I’ve had, you know, months at a time where I haven’t really gotten a lot done besides a whole lot of self work. And then because I did that, I was able to come from that align space, and have a couple months where I really was focused, and I hustled and it, you know, it’s you just have to listen to your body and listen to your energy. And then once you’ve hustled for a while, then you have to check in periodically and say, okay, am I still coming from that aligned place? Or do I need to take a week off, or a month off? Or do I need to do some self work to get back to where I need to be. So really being aware of how you’re feeling at at any given stage is so important to be able to go to check in with yourself. And I think that I call that seasons, you know, where there’s seasons where I’m really busy. And then there’s seasons where I’m reflecting and learning, and all of those things. And I think if we can be in that space, where we are aligned, and we give ourselves, you know, like I was saying the the universe, society out there is pushing so much for the hustle, we start to feel a little guilty, don’t you think? Like when we’re not in some kind of super action.

And so being really more comfortable with ourselves and saying, Okay, I’m going to have a little compassion for myself, this isn’t a season of action. This is a season of working through things and learning things, right?

Yes, absolutely. And you know, it depends a lot who you surround yourself by. So if you’re surrounded by a lot of people, maybe in an entrepreneurial space, and you’re the only one who’s really coming from that aligned space and wanting to focus on yourself, and being around others who are just Hustle, Hustle, Hustle, they might make you feel bad. Or it could come from the inside, you know, just these conditioned beliefs that we’ve grown up with that you have to work hard, work hard, work hard. And if you’re not, then you’re not doing something. So it is just really checking in with yourself and giving yourself like you said, compassion and giving us reminders that there will be a time, you know, like you said, it’s a season, summer never lasts forever winter, never last forever. This season. If your body and your mind and your soul is telling you, you need a break, then you have to listen. And whenever that guilt comes in, then you know, that’s just something else that you have to process.

Right. Yeah. And that’s really where meditation could come in really healthy. I know. You are, you’ve got your master’s in clinical mental health counseling, and then you’ve sort of transitioned a little bit to this work of meditation work and helping entrepreneurs. And so how do you think meditation fits? Does? Is that part of that whole cycle? Do you think?

Oh, yes, definitely. I think that no matter where you are, in that cycle, what season you’re in, there needs to be a meditation practice of some sort, even if it’s just five minutes, you know, but during periods of time, when you’re really focusing on yourself, whenever you go into that deep meditation, that’s when things come off. That’s whenever you get your guidance. You know, we’re just having this constant stimulation all of the time that we are not allowing ourselves to be guided by that intuition by our higher selves. So going into that period of meditation, you were saying to yourself, okay, for the next 10 minutes, 20 years It’s our whatever it is, this is time for me to get in touch with my higher self, with source with my energy with my intuition, whatever that might be for you. And even if you just go into a meditation with the purpose of relaxing, you know, a byproduct of allowing your mind and body to relax, is that you get in touch with that intuition. So I absolutely think that meditation is a huge component in any season

of your life. I feel like more and more people are open to the idea of meditation now. I mean, when I was young, that wasn’t like a normal thing, you know? Um, but as somebody who teaches people how to meditate, how would somebody that’s listening? Like, how would they really like if the thought of sitting down on a meditation cushion for 30 minutes, makes them want to poke their eyeballs out? What would you say is like just a good way to start getting into meditation?

Yes. My first experiences with meditation was whenever I was in high school, and I was working at TJ Maxx, and I was working in the dressing room at TJ Maxx, which was the most boring, like four hours. And there was a meditation book. And so I read it. And I remember these techniques to this day, there was one technique where you simply are aware of your breath, and you count your breath. And I remember practicing that in that TJ Maxx dressing room. And, yeah, and, and so you know, you can do that anywhere, you can do this while you’re driving, if you if you notice that your mind is going 5 million miles a minute, that can be time to bring yourself back to your breath. And all you have to do is be conscious and mindful of it. So if you count it, it’s probably one of the easiest ways to start with that mindful awareness. So if you just count in for like four or five counts, and then you can hold it for just a beat or two, and then you exhale for four or five counts, and you do several rounds of that, you will absolutely notice that you are getting into a more relaxed state. And so the second technique that that book provided that I absolutely love is another breathing technique. But it is one where you imagine that you’re breathing in cool blue air, and it’s washing through you. And it’s just cleansing all that stress and negativity and pickiness. And as you exhale, then you’re exhaling this red color. And that represents exhaling the stress. Again, you can do this everywhere you’re inhaling the blue, visualizing setting the intention that it’s washing through your body, getting rid of all that stress. And then as you exhale, you feel as stressed as physically leaving you, like I said, you can do this anywhere, you can do it for any amount of time. And it is a great starting place for any meditation beginner.

I really like that. I like that with the colors too. Like the NLP practitioner and me likes using the other senses and pulling that in. You know, you mentioned something you said, you know, like, if you’re driving in your car, I feel like in our world right now, especially with social media, and all of the pressures that we have, with like the internet, giving this immediate, immediate feedback for everything, that we tend to have a lot of circular thoughts. That’s what I find, with myself a lot of times, and also with my clients when I talk to them. It’s like circular thoughts. So the same kind of things. They’ll get in the car on the way to work, and they’re just rehashing. And I talked to somebody just the other day, and I totally resonated with what she said. But she said, Gosh, Betsy, you know, I was started to think about a conversation I had like six months ago with this person. And I wanted to say, remember when you said that? Well, I should have said, you know, you think of things like later on. And I feel like that drug when you’re driving when you’re starting to notice that and those circular thoughts coming or you’re just feeling like, wow, whatever I’m thinking is making me feel down, down, down down to be able to bring that in. And that is something you can do while you drive. You know, many times we think like meditation, we have to have our eyes closed and be sitting still, but we could just be breathing and being mindful.

Mm hmm. Oh, yes, absolutely. I think the number one mistake that prevents people from meditating is they think there has to be a right way to meditate. And they’ll hear from one meditation guru that this is the right way and another one that this is another one that you had to pay all this money to learn a specific meditation and it’s not like that there’s so many techniques, there’s no right or wrong way to do it. Start where you’re at, no matter how you mentioned the cyclical thinking, Oh my gosh, yes, that’s it. That is the surest way to getting yourself stressed out for absolutely no reason. And people are always walking around stressed by the actual stressors in our life? Yes, we have stressors, but they aren’t constant. Why we’re stressed is because we have a stressor. And then we’re thinking about it for days or months, like you just said, After that stressor. So using this meditation, it can, you know, the cyclical thinking is a, it’s a habit, we are used to doing it, it’s a gradual way. And, and we can break habits, and adding in like a breathing or just a meditations for whatever works for you. If it’s like affirmations or whatever. Adding those in when you’re noticing that you’re in that cyclical thinking pattern is going to give you a pattern interrupt. And if you do that enough times, then it’s going to help you break

that habit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, disrupt what you’re doing and give your mind something new. so powerful. Yeah. You know, you said something about, like, the stress isn’t real. And I think that that’s really such an important thing, because it’s really how we’re interpreting it. You know, sometimes I’ll be driving with my husband, and he’s, like, calm, cool as a cucumber. Any kind of conflict does not bother him at all. Until he starts driving. Yes, like, then he’s like, super pissed at like somebody five cars away that I didn’t even notice. But they looked at him sideways, you know. And it’s funny to me, because I’ll get stressed out about all these other things, but in the car, not at all, like I’m always like, Hey, buddy, you know, like just going along my merry way. So it’s, it really isn’t the thing that’s happening, it’s what we think about the thing that’s happening. And bringing it back to our breath really can help to change that. So we’re not thinking the thing that’s stressing us out.

So powerful power folly, and you brought up my office to a little bit ago. And that’s another great tool to put in your toolbox, something that you can do anywhere at any time. Especially when you notice you’re getting, or you’re getting emotional about something, whether that’s upset, or frustrated, or angry, or whatever it is, if you just become mindful of that situation, then it really can decrease that powerful emotional state that you’re feeling. Because the reason we feel strong emotions is because we interpret these situations as ones that make us angry at once. It makes us stressed to ones that frustrate us. But mindfulness takes all of that mental interpretation, all that perception out of it. So for example, if you’re driving, and this is something that I try to practice, because, like your husband, I can be Zen all day long. I get in the car, like oh my gosh, you’re all idiots. And I feel terrible, then I’d like that. But oh, it’s a hard one. But you know, adding in mindfulness of, you know, just paying attention to the way that cars are driving, paying attention to the way that you feel in the car, paying attention to what, you know, the way your hands feel on the steering wheel. Doing that all without adding in that judgment, just focusing on those sensations. Somebody cuts you off, say, okay, that person just drove in front of me and they’re in a red car, you know, you don’t think like, oh, that person’s nasally just cut me off,

right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you go to more of the facts, right, instead of adding in the stuff that you’re making up really about the situation?

Yes, yes. I like that.

I like that a lot. Like that’s super smart.

Yeah. And it can be helpful. It’s something that is something else I want to point out too, is, these are things that just happen naturally, if they happen naturally, we’d all be walking around just satin and like mugs. But but we’re not. Right. So these are things that you have to be first aware of, and know your own patterns. And then you have to consciously take steps to bring you back into that alignment or back into the energy that that you know that you naturally vibrate in that you know that you you want to be in the best life the most peaceful life, the happiest life, you know, it takes willpower, it takes intention and it takes awareness. But once you have that, once you are aware and you have some techniques, and you add them in use your willpower to add them in. Then over time, you will notice that you are so much more at peace and things don’t bother you as much and the world is just happier place.

Yeah. What would you say if somebody is having a moment where they’re really stressed out? And all of this stuff is happening to get back to a vibration where they know that it’s their happy place? So they’re in the middle of a disagreement with somebody at the workplace, for example, they’re in a meeting and they’re, you know, having a work related argument. And then how would you say Somebody can come back to that place, even when all that’s happening, you know? So it’s not the kind of opportunity where I can just go and meditate, because there’s people in the meeting, you know what I mean? Like, do you have any ideas about that, like how to actually facilitate that for yourself?

Yeah, um, so that can be a hard one. But you have to recognize and know that you are only going to make it worse, the more that you think about how much a person is making you angry, or you know how frustrating The situation is. So you have to know that your thoughts are going to want to naturally go there. And, you know, there’s there’s different techniques that I like, the mindfulness, again, is a is a good one. So nobody has to know that you’re just paying attention to your breath, stare at a pen on your desk and look at every single part at that pen from the tip, the middle to the cat, note the color. And then it sounds too simple. And it sounds a bit ridiculous. But again, it’s going to get you to that place where there’s a pattern interrupt,

it’s almost like removing yourself. So stepping back a little bit and looking at the situation from like a, like a different perspective, like a different person almost right, like you’re looking at an object or even at the person right, and getting curious about the person I would think would sort of do the same kind of thing. Like why I wonder

why I’m doing that. You’re a good one.

Yeah, yeah. Mm hmm.

Yeah. So a lot of we have this mental chatter that goes on and we have a love of like, should or should not like, I can’t believe you would act that way. You shouldn’t not that way in a meeting, like Who do you think you are? But if you replace that with a curiosity, then you know you’re you’re coming from more of like a childlike nature and not this like ego place of like, you’re not acting right. And this is making me mad by because you’re acting in such a manner. Yeah, nothing else I like to do whenever I’m in situations where I can notice my mind is getting negative, or maybe I’m being judgmental, is I have just simple mantras that I use. I’ll just say love and light, I’ll say I’m at peace. I am only filled with unconditional love. I’m free of judgment and myself and others. And just you know, repeating that, in your mind will help you stay in that better vibration, even in more stressful situations.

Yeah, I like that a lot. I was just reading something the other day where somebody had a really good, I think it was on Reddit, I went to read it. I’ve been going to Reddit lately. I have a little thing here, I think let me look and see. So I had been reading of course in miracles. And, and they had just a really good mantra to say, so that you see the person totally different. And it’s interesting, because it’s really, like we were saying before, it’s how you’re seeing the situation. It’s not the situation. Right? So um, okay, so it’s a course in miracles. So it’s coming from Are you familiar with the Course in Miracles?

I am I have not ready yet intimidates me, but I am very familiar with.

Yeah, yeah. So I’m in the so the quote has talks about Christ, because it’s a course in miracles, but it says you are Christ, pure and innocent. All is forgiven and released. And if you can just say that over and over again, like all is forgiven and released, because really, you’re judging them for whatever they’re saying, right? If you’re in a disagreement, or you’re driving in the car, and people are cutting you off, like it is a judgment. And so if you can talk through that, and even if you don’t like the word, Christ, you know, you take that out and you put universe or you do whatever feels right to you. But I like that idea, a lot of having something that you repeat, and it almost that is a pattern interrupt as well. Right? It gets you off the thinking about the thing.

Yes, yes, definitely, definitely. And, you know, a lot of what we, when we get into that space of judgment, or getting frustrated other individuals, a lot of it is, you know, coming from those lower vibrations, it’s coming from like, fear, it’s coming from the ego, it’s coming from this need to control so we would all love to walk into a meeting and have it go exactly the way I wanted it. But that’s not the way that the world works. So how we react a lot of times to that least within our minds, and our egos, is to make ourselves frustrated because I get this this like false sense of control over things like I know best and everybody would just listen to me and then the world would be better. But, you know, that’s not coming from a high vibrational place, but like the quote that you just mentioned, you know, if you are, you’re seeing the source within everybody, you’re seeing the connection you’re seeing through the eyes of empathy or curiosity, your understanding, that’s going to bring you to a much higher vibration, so everybody else can be vibrating at that low place. I’m getting frustrated, and you’ll just be there like, I don’t know what y’all About about like, being Yeah.

And if you can maintain that high vibration, they will have to come and meet you at the high vibration, you’ll end up changing the vibration of the room. So it can be really powerful to actually physically change what’s happening in terms of the conversation and how things are really going. So if you don’t like it, you can’t change somebody else, but you can make your vibration really high, which will bring them up, right, and which essentially, gee, oh, my God,

uation, which is so

like, like, you really are in control of your reality and that aspect.

Absolutely. And I just, since I’ve become aware of it, I noticed it so much in my life, like I the universe tells me when I’m in a low vibration, and, you know, just things match that vibrational state. But I, you know, had serious conversations are things that would make me feel anxious or fearful. And I’ve intentionally brought myself up to a higher vibration. And every single time those experiences have, like you said, people meet you, where you are situations vibrate at what you are putting out. And so I have been, I have lived through it, like, it’s just something that I read in a book, I’m like, Oh, that’s a nice theory, like, No, I have played around with this. And without fail, every single time pretty much if I’m in a true high vibration, and it’s not always the easiest to get there, but lunch really vibrating at that high state, like love or peace, then situations, and people absolutely will meet it. And if they don’t, then they kind of just leave like they’re not. They’re not interested in being around you. And that’s fine with me. Right? Yeah,

yeah. So let’s tell people where they can find you. And you’ve got a really great podcast called mindful Mondays, which is meditation, really some thoughts on a meditation every Monday. That’s really wonderful. I subscribe, and then tell them where else they can find you.

Yeah, so like you said, mindful Mondays, every single Monday, we come out with a reflection episode, and then a guided meditation that kind of goes along with the reflection, whatever we talk about setting intentions for that week. And you can also find me at mind body and spirit entrepreneur, the website is www.my mbse.com. And then social media accounts and my YouTube channel.

All right, awesome. Rachel Thompson, thank you so much for being here. It was so fun to have you on the show today. Thank you very

much. I really enjoyed talking and our conversation was great. I love it.

Thanks so much for listening. Remember, you can find me all over social media at Betsy Pake. And, as always, here’s a little message from my husband.

That’s it.

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