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Betsy is diving into how to create your future today from the perspective of your unconscious mind.
Intentional future creation, trusting instincts, and harnessing mental momentum.
Transcription:
Hello, fellow adventurers. Hi, everybody. So welcome to the show today. Welcome to the art of living big. Today, I’m doing things a little bit different. So I am actually recording and videoing, recording, video recording. I’m recording all the ways that one can record, which I never do.
Betsy:
If you’ve been here for any amount of time, you’ve heard me talk about this. I typically do the show, and I have done the show historically over the past seven years with my eyes closed. For the most part. It just helps me to shut off anything visual so that I can really be inside and with my thoughts. I shut my eyes when I visualize or when I do hypnosis or all the things. And so there is so many challenges to me doing the show this way. But we’re going to try it and just see how it goes. So if you’re watching the video, I’m trying to be intentional by keeping my eyes open.
Betsy:
So I did write a couple of notes, which if you’ve been here for any amount of time, you know, I don’t do that either. But I didn’t want to forget some things. So I had been on hiatus from the show for a few months, just as I was getting my feet under me with just a lot of new things going on. And last week I was back, and it felt so good to be back. Really did. And that episode, I just said, let me know what’s been going on, because I feel like other times when I have the show, people are messaging me like, I liked your show, this is what’s happening. Or I noticed this thing, or I’ve been going through this. And so I kind of know what’s going on now.
Betsy:
I know I might not know you, I know I might not know you, but I like the updates. Makes me feel like we really are all collected and a collective. Right. So anyway, last week, the show, I said, give me the updates. And I got updates. And it was just so nice to hear from people and to hear what you’ve been doing. I mean, you all have been busy making babies, losing weight, starting new businesses, changing jobs, like really exciting, fun things going on, big trips. And it has been really nice to get your messages.
Betsy:
So thank you for that. This week, I do want to give you a small update. Episode 253 I had my daughter on, and I think I talked about this last week. I had my daughter on, and we were talking about her depression and anxiety and sort of mental health journey. And over the past month, she has been going to get ketamine infusions yeah, I’m for sure. I mentioned this last week. She’s completed those now, so she finished her first series of six. I am going to have the doctor come on the show next month.
Betsy:
Next month. And we’re going to break down the whole ketamine infusion thing so that you really understand what it is and if it can help you in some way. Right. So if you have questions that you’re like, I heard you mention that, or I’ve heard people talk about ketamine infusions. If you have questions, will you just email us or message me on Instagram? But you can email us at the support@betsype.com and just tell me your question. And we would love to cover it. So I want the episode to be really informative. I mean, there’s so much that I don’t really know or understand.
Betsy:
So I have a lot of questions that I think will organically come out and hopefully answer your questions too. But if you’ve got things, then absolutely please message me because I want to answer your questions too. I will tell you that I don’t want to go too far into it because we’re going to do a whole episode on it. But I will tell you that something has happened, something magical is happening and she’s doing really well. And I’m crossing my fingers even as I’m saying it. Well, I could say more, but I’m going to let it wait till next week or next month. So if you have questions, please message us and let us know. I’m going to pause for 1 second and have a real moment.
Betsy:
It’s so distracting to see myself as we’re going to make this work. I’m going to put this on YouTube. So if you are like, what is happening with her? You could go look on YouTube and go to my YouTube channel. I’m going to try and put some more stuff there. So I have been going live inside my group. It’s the art of living big on Facebook. So I’ve been going live in there every Wednesday and just trying to share some more stuff in there. So those videos I hope to put on YouTube as well.
Betsy:
So if you want to jump in there and ask questions there or just dive in a little deeper with the community, that’s the place to go. All right. So today what I really wanted to talk about was this idea that I know I have talked about and I know you’ve heard and I know you know about, but I want to give it a little different angle to really look at and I want to maybe even dive into it a little bit deeper than maybe you have before. And that is the idea of creating your future intentionally. We hear people say this a lot, intentionally creating. And I know for me, for a long time, I was like, okay, yes, sign me up for intentionally creating and then I would make my list and know what I wanted to some extent, right? And I have shifted that a lot. Over the past eight months. I feel like I have really been able to create the things that I want almost in a magical speed.
Betsy:
And there are some real things that I’ve been doing differently, some real steps, I think, that have shifted. So I want to dive in here just a little bit. And there’s a couple of different layers of this that I want to talk about. So the first one is, why do we even say, like creating? Because it can feel like life is happening. And then we find ourselves in situations or we find ourselves having certain experiences and that’s sort of what just happens, right? That just happens. And to create something intentionally means that I set a goal and that I set up things that I’m going to be doing, right. And that I’m going to do those things. And then hopefully that will get me to my goal.
Betsy:
And I don’t know about you, but for me, I have set a lot of goals in my life. I love setting goals. Big goal setter and also a big non reacher of my goals. I mean, I’ll get part way, right? We get part way. But to really hit the big goals, there have been some that I was going for for a long time. And I was like, why isn’t this happening? And it would start to kind of get under your skin where you’re like, I have wanted this thing for a long time. I cannot visualize anymore. It is crystal clear.
Betsy:
I know exactly what it is. And then there has been a shift. And so I want to pause and talk about this idea of how we actually create reality. So I want to bring it back to our conscious mind and our unconscious mind, and I want to bring it to this idea that my conscious mind is the goal setter, right? It’s the part of you that’s watching this or listening and having thoughts, making judgments, having an experience of it consciously that you’re aware of. And then there is this unconscious part of you, and that’s really the part of you that just is running automatic autopilot. The moment you’re not thinking about the goal or the thing or whatever it is, that moment is the moment that the unconscious mind takes over. And whatever the programming is there. And I say programming intentionally.
Betsy:
I’ll get to that. Whatever the programming is there, that’s the thing that’s running the show, right? So that’s the thing that is creating not only my reactions, my triggers, right? My activations. That’s helping me notice things. It’s helping me create what I think is available to me. Now, have you ever bought a car? And you’re like, I’m the only one who has this. I don’t see this car anywhere. And then you drive off the lot and you’re like, oh, my God, everybody has this car. How does everyone have this? And I never noticed.
Betsy:
And you’ve probably heard this phenomenon before, right? Your recticular activating system, your ras. And so that begins to show us things that our unconscious mind thinks is important. Now, if I have a goal and my conscious mind set it, but the moment I’m not focused on it consciously, which I can’t be, because sometimes I’m driving, sometimes I’m doing something else, sometimes I’m in a conversation with somebody. So I can’t be focused on the goal all of the time, even if I’m obsessed with it, my unconscious mind is taking over. So my unconscious mind is going to be the thing that’s noticing things, right? The car, right? Noticing things. And it knows to notice things based on emotion and repetition. So let’s say that I buy a car and I’m super excited about it. My brain thinks that’s important, okay? So now I have a goal.
Betsy:
And what happens so often when I have a goal that I have consciously set is I am very clear on what I don’t want. And I see this a lot with people with money, right? When they’re trying to make changes in money, what do they do? They spend a lot of time worrying, worrying about it, thinking about it, recognizing how there isn’t any or whatever the situation is. And their brain, that recticular activating system, starts to think, that’s what’s really important. And so when I talk about creating reality, I’m saying, that’s the thing. The moment I’m not consciously focused on my goal, the thing that’s going to run in the background is the thing that my brain thinks is most important. And it might be the thing that you’re worried about. It might be the thing that you don’t want. It might be the thing that.
Betsy:
It might be that you don’t see all the opportunity around you because your brain isn’t geared to give you what it is you want. Okay, so this is kind of the basic, basic with my conscious mind and my unconscious mind. And so then the logical next step is if I want to have a new experience or reach my goal, then I’ve got to get those two things, conscious mind, unconscious mind on the same railroad track. I’ve got to get those headed in the same direction so that they are going for the same thing. So now I don’t have to be thinking about it. It just happens. And this is when people say, like, I don’t know, something just clicked, like something happened and then it became easy. That is because their unconscious mind came on board with where their conscious mind was going.
Betsy:
Okay, so how do I do that? How do I then create my future intentionally? Because intentionally, I think we could argue, implies consciously, right? I’m setting an intention consciously. This is what I want. And so if I want to create my future, that means I need to train my unconscious mind to see something totally different than it has ever seen before. And I think there’s two parts to this. I think the first part is slowing down the momentum of where you have it headed by worry and knowing all the things that you don’t want and experiencing things that paying attention so much to the things that are showing up that are unwanted. So we got to slow down the momentum. That’s the first thing. And then the second thing I need to do is then begin to retrain so that my unconscious mind is moving in the direction that I want.
Betsy:
Okay, so let’s dive into that. Number one, how do I stop the momentum? Because when there is maybe years of you thinking about the thing you don’t want, and I know I’ve done this right, we spend a lot of time. It is how we get awareness of what we want by having things we don’t want. So noticing things that we don’t want is not inherently bad. It’s a great thing. It gives us contrast. It helps us to understand where we want to go, but we’ve got to slow the momentum to bring it back so that I can start from a place of somewhere near neutrality so that I can then move that cruise ship to head in the direction I want. So one of the things, and I know I’ve mentioned the author Richard dots before, d o t t s.
Betsy:
He’s one of those manifestation authors that writes, I think he has like 30 books, right? So most of them, I think, are on Kindle. I like reading his stuff. It brings me into an alignment. And although some of it might be I’m going to use the air quotes here. But like woo woo, it’s rooted. I can read it and know what the mechanisms are when we talk about the conscious mind and unconscious mind. So it makes sense to me. Right? So I’m just like, I can let go of anything that feels like out of grasp and I can bring it into the science.
Betsy:
So I’m hoping that by having this conversation today, that does that for you too. So the idea Richard dots talks about is, number one is saying I’m only going to worry like 15 minutes a day. So I know the unwanted is there and so I’m not going to think about it all day. Every time I get the idea, I’m going to say that’s okay. Like brain, I know I’ve got the idea, I need to worry about that, but I’m going to bring it back and I’m going to just focus on that later for 15 minutes. Okay. I think this can be really helpful, especially if your brain likes a chew toy to think about things over and over again or things you don’t like, like really rehash things. And so setting a time where I sit down and I do think about it and what I have found for me is that this really stops momentum for two reasons.
Betsy:
One is because I’m not thinking about it during the day. Like I am pushing it back now. Is it still happening in the background? Absolutely, which is why it’s so important that I do the second thing, which is that I actually do take that time to sit and intentionally think about it. So I think about all the things that I’m worried about. Sometimes I make a list and then I start to heal those things. I have this belief, and you might have a different belief, and that’s okay. But my belief is that everything is neutral. The only thing that makes it something is my story around it.
Betsy:
Now, do I have things in the world that I think are terrible? Absolutely, I do. That is my story around it. And based on my values and my beliefs, I will hang on strongly to that story. But I know I could probably find somebody in the world that doesn’t think that thing is terrible. And so that means they have a different story. And so that means the truth may be that our stories are the thing that make it so. And so if I’m sitting at night and I’m making my list of all the things that I’m worried about, about this thing, and all the things that could go wrong, or all the things that aren’t going right, or the things that I am fearful of happening in the future, I can look at that and I can start to break down what’s the story here, what’s actually going on. And if the story doesn’t serve me in that time that I’m sitting and we dive into this really deep inside the navigate method, how to really get to the point where things become neutral so that I can make better choices, but sitting in that moment and going through this can be such important work because it starts to take the charge out of the thing that’s negative out of the thing that you’re worried about.
Betsy:
So now, all day long, I have not been ruminating on it. I’ve saved that for at night. I’ve noodled through it because I’ve spent time. It’s not just coming up all day long. I’m spending time and intentionally thinking about it. And then I’m starting to recognize what might not be true, which is making it less activating for me. And then tomorrow, it’s not as many thoughts coming in. And then I do the same thing at night, and then soon it becomes, I only need ten minutes at night, and then I only need five minutes at night.
Betsy:
And then all of a sudden, I’m really not worried about that thing at all. So now the momentum is shifting. So while I’m doing that, and as I’m doing that, I also want to create momentum in the direction that I do want to go. Right. Because when I want to create a future intentionally, I have to be planning for what’s coming. I have to be expecting something different to be showing up. So now I’ve moved this. I think this is like a big old cruise ship, right? If you got to move a cruise ship, it’s going to take a minute.
Betsy:
So understanding that I may have years of momentum and pressure and thoughts and stories around a certain idea or thing or goal or area of my life that I want to be different. So now I’m bringing it to a place where, okay, now I’m almost like, to neutral, right? And so now I want to start creating. One of the things that I mentioned last week on the show was this idea that when we go watch a movie, it is a million little stills that are put together in a video to create this movement, right? To kind of track. But if you broke it down, like, you know, even if you have a video on YouTube, you could pause it and you’d see a frame. So what happens for most people is that they’re focused on that frame. This thing is happening. This thing is happening. This thing is happening.
Betsy:
This thing is happening. And then all of a sudden, it looks like it’s a still. It looks like I’m stuck. It looks like nothing’s changed. It looks like the more I focus on it, the more nothing happens. I never hit my goal right. It starts to look like it’s a still, but it is not. In fact, it’s a movie.
Betsy:
It’s moving. And that picture can be changing every day. Now, if you start shifting this momentum, that picture is going to start changing. You also have to. I find it really helpful to be reminding myself that what I’m seeing, this current frame, is in the process of changing into something else, so I don’t have to worry about it if it’s not what I want. It’s in the process of changing. It always is, good or bad. It’s in the process of changing, which is why it’s so important to keep doing this work, even after you start getting what you want, right? So now I’ve started to notice and recognize that there are little changes every day.
Betsy:
I’m starting to notice how this is a million different pictures moving and that I’m not, in fact, stuck, that I am moving. And when I notice that I’m moving, I can start to redirect my attention on the clues in the present moment. Now, you know when you hear, like, Eckhart tolle talk about being present, like sitting on a bench and being present forever, that’s how you start to notice things are changing. Now I find it to be really helpful to be noticing those things that I want to show up. Remember we talked about the car and your recticular activating system? So how do I start to move this? How do I start to move this needle so that it’s going in the direction I want? Well, I start noticing all of the things that I want to see. Sometimes this means in the morning, I set up what I want to see that day, even if I’ve never seen it before. I’m so excited because today I’m going to see this thing happen. Today I’m going to notice how close I’m getting to this.
Betsy:
So I start setting up my brain to get excited. Now, this is a key piece of this. You know how when you go to buy that car, you’re excited for the most part, right? We’re excited. We’re getting a new car. And I want to do that in the morning. You know when, if you’ve ever been pregnant or have loved someone that’s pregnant, you’re excited because you know it’s coming. Is the baby here? No, but you know it’s coming and that gets you excited. So do that with your life.
Betsy:
Get excited because I know it’s coming. I know it’s coming. And today I’m going to spend my day being really present and noticing all the little signs. Now sometimes I think signs can be fun to be like, I’m going to look for number two. Two or I’m going to look for anything that brings you joy in the search is going to be really good because that’s going to be honing your rectangular activating system. Your unconscious mind to say, these are the things I’m looking for. This is what I want more of. Now.
Betsy:
I have this belief that there is, I mean, we already know there is millions of pieces of information around you all the time. So there’s lots of stuff going on around you all the time. Now are you making the connections to say, oh, I already have that. That could bring me where I want to go. I already know the person that would know the job that I want. I already have the experience for the thing I want to call it. I need to be making those connections, right? And I have the belief that those things are already around you. You are sitting in a field full of flowers as far as you could possibly see and all you have to do is notice that you’re sitting there.
Betsy:
But you can’t do that by going, where am I going to be sitting next week? What’s going to be happening? Oh, I wish last week I was just notice where you are and how much of what you already want is happening around you. Now there is a piece of this. This is the next little piece that is about getting, about following the things that feel exciting. Yesterday I was having a rough day. I’m not going to lie. The last week has been kind of rough. There’s been a lot of changes and things happening in my business and my world. And sometimes we have that.
Betsy:
It’s okay. I always know that this is my current reality that’s in the process of changing into something new. So I’m totally fine if this is happening. I’m like, oh, interesting. This must be some old thought patterns showing up, right? And now I get to redo it. I get to rethink things. And so yesterday I had finished up a couple of things and my daughter messaged me and it was right before lunch and she called and I said, what are you doing? And she said, I’m making egg salad sandwich. And all of a sudden I thought, I want to go out to lunch.
Betsy:
So I said, oh, my God, you want to go out to lunch? And of course she said, I just told you I’m picking egg salad sandwich. I was like, throw it in the refrigerator. Let’s go out to lunch. Did I have a lot of time to go out to lunch? No, not really. Not really. I had a lot to do. I really wanted to record this yesterday, but it felt fun. It felt fun.
Betsy:
And I was like, I’m going to lean into the fun, because for whatever reason, the universe is giving me this nudge that that’s a way to go, that that’s something to experience. And actually, it really was so fun. And it refreshed me for the rest of the day, I think. Otherwise, I think I would have felt kind of drained. But it gave me a lot of joy and some fun, and it got me out of the house, and it was nice, and we had really good sandwiches, and we went to this cool place that was really aesthetically pleasing and fun, and it lifted things. Now, is going to lunch serving me towards my goal? What would you say in that? Absolutely. Is it a task that would move me towards my goal? No. Is it moving me towards my goal? Yeah, absolutely.
Betsy:
Because I had a spark of excitement. It was clear to me that that felt like the next right thing, like a fun thing. And when she said, I’m making a salad, immediately, I was like, I want to go to lunch immediately, it was like a feeling that came over me. And I responded to that immediately. Now, could I have thought, she’s already making a salad. She doesn’t want to go. I should just stay here? Yeah, of course I could have, but I want to have those impulses and act on those impulses immediately. If you’ve been here for a while or even if you’ve gone back and you’ve listened to my episodes from when I went to Iceland, that was one of those moments where I saw a know, made me want to see the northern lights.
Betsy:
I had a moment where I had an opportunity, and I just did it without thinking. Because what happens is we have patterns. Remember at the beginning of this episode, I was talking about how we have these patterns that keep us stuck feeling, right? Keep it. We’re never really stuck, but it keeps us in the stuck feeling. Because those patterns, although my brain wants novelty, my brain wants me to do something, like exciting and new, it also wants me to do what it knows to be safe, right? So what it knows to be in that experience I’ve already had, because then it knows I’m going to stay alive. And that’s really the number one directive of my unconscious mind. And so there’s going to be times where you’ll have the impulse, and then you’ll think through it with your brain. This right here, that is where the problem is for most people.
Betsy:
I’ll tell you, I see this all the time when people come into my program. The people that come in are the people that have that moment, and they lean into it. If you start thinking through it, what if it doesn’t work? What if my husband gets mad? What if I don’t know all the things? Who knows? That’s when people don’t get the help that they need, or their help is meant to be somewhere else. But if they can lean into that moment of, like, I am having a feeling that this is right and I’m going to trust myself, that is when magic happens, no matter what the situation is. Because that moment of I’m going to trust myself can be so hard for people. Especially if you have a lifetime of not trusting yourself or a lifetime of being told that the choices you made were wrong or dumb. And I think that this happens to everybody, especially when we’re young and we’re growing up, right? And our parents tell us, you should be a CPA. Don’t be an artist, be a CPA, whatever it is, and you begin to have self doubt, and you begin to want to trust somebody else’s opinion over yours, and you start to doubt that internal piece of you, right? That deep, deep inner knower of you that says, that’s the thing.
Betsy:
Yes. That says, yes. It is a courageous. I always say this, the people in my program are courageous for a number of reasons, but that is one of the biggest reasons, because they have courage to say yes. The courage to trust that inner part of them, right. The courage to show up in a different way. And I think that is the moment. Whatever you’re doing, whatever your goal is, as you’re starting to create, intentionally create your future, you’ve got to be able to slow the momentum, get the clarity, but most importantly, lean in and trust that you actually do know the way.
Betsy:
You absolutely know the way, but you’ve been programmed out of it, and you’ve believed a lot of other things, and you forget that we have a really great internal guidance system that you just need to hone. So this week, I want to offer you the thought that you can start this process by next week, when next week’s episode comes out. You could be intentionally creating. You could be noticing the sparks and shifting into something new. So let me know how it goes. I really do want to hear from you. Message me on Instagram. If you loved this show, please share it.
Betsy:
It means so much to me to have you share it. If you want to see it, go to YouTube because we are living big over there. We’re going to try this out. We’re going to try it out. I don’t know. I tried to keep my eyes open, y’all. All right. I love you guys so much.
Betsy:
I will see you all really soon, and I’ll see you next week. Bye.
