052: Release the emergency brake in your life - Betsy Pake

052: Release the emergency brake in your life

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Todays episode gives us a peek into making life easier! Where are you putting on the emergency break in your life?  

Learn more and deep dive with us inside The Live Big Lab!

Transcript:

I’m teaching my teenager to drive a car. Have you ever done this? So we went to an empty parking lot near the school and I got out of the car, we switched places, and she got in the car and buckled up, we made sure that the radio was off and everything was good to go. And she pressed on the gas, and the car seemed like it was stuck, like in quicksand. And like, we kind of like lurched forward a little bit, because she pressed on the gas even harder, I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And I looked over and realized that the emergency brake was still on. And so I just told her to stop for a second and I put the emergency brake down, and then she pressed the gas and everything was so much easier. And so I started thinking about that, and in your life, where is the emergency brake on? Let’s talk about it. Hey, I’m Betsy Pake. I’m an author and a business and life strategist. But really, I feel like I work with people all over the country to help them be happier and to help them have a little more ease in their life. Today, I hope to do the same with you. Thanks for listening. Now, let’s go live big. As I talk to people all over the country, in my coaching practice, it doesn’t seem to matter. Like who I talked to, it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s a man or a woman, or what kind of job they have, or even where they grew up, or what part of the country that they that they come from. And it’s not just people that come to me looking for coaching, I mean, friends that I have people I went to school with, that I have a conversation with, or even other entrepreneurs, even other successful entrepreneurs that I talk to, when I talk to somebody, and they say that they feel stuck, or they can’t seem to reach a goal that they have. And this is the same with myself. It is always about a belief system, a belief system really can be our emergency brake, it can be the thing that is holding us back and making everything make work so much harder, it makes everything so much harder. Now, the other thing that I’ve noticed is that it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about your career, it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a romantic relationship or something in your personal life or your health, or your finances or, or relationships with family or friends, it really doesn’t seem to matter. The belief system is always at the root of what it is that’s holding you back. So you know, when people say they’re stuck, it’s really never that they’re really stuck. It’s just that they have this thing that they believe is true. And it’s not allowing them to move forward. So identifying what belief is actually holding you back can be a tricky thing. And many times we need help to do that. That’s when coaching really comes in great. But meditation is a great way to do that. becoming very, very curious about what it is it’s holding you back and why? Here’s a question that I asked myself. When I’m bumping up against something I can’t seem to get past.

I asked myself,

how is this benefiting me? So maybe you are broke? Maybe you don’t have a romantic relationship and you’ve wanted one for years. Maybe you are, like dying in your career, you hate it. But you just can’t seem to figure out what else you want to do. I want you to just sit and be quiet and ask yourself, how is this benefiting me? How is being broke benefiting me? How is not having a romantic relationship? benefiting me? How is staying in this job that I hate? Where? What’s the benefit I’m getting from it? Now this is a really question, a really hard question to ask yourself. And most of the time people can’t answer it. At first. They’re like, it doesn’t benefit me. I can’t figure it out. But I promise you that if you can really sit quiet, this will be the question that opens up a lot of things for you. I have done this over and over again in my own life. And I’m always shocked at how I’m benefiting from the negative things that I really don’t want in my life. Now once you’ve identified it, so let’s say you know some things that are holding you back. Or even if you just have like an a general idea of areas you want to move forward. What I want to talk about today is really releasing that emergency brake and getting you going on your way. Now. In Episode 43. I interviewed Alex on key She’s the girl in her van. So on Instagram, it’s a girl in her van and she’s the one that was living that had graduated from college and was working in a career where she was in a cubicle right and just decided that’s not what she wanted. She spent a couple years and saved her money. She got a van and now she drove all over the country up into Canada into Alaska and lived in her van and she’s still doing that it’s been a little over a year now. But one of the things she said said during that interview that struck me so much. And I mean, I thought about it for days was she said that as she was driving, and she was all alone for a long time,

like six weeks, eight weeks, she was alone,

she realized how many of the same thoughts she had over and over and over again. And it reminded me of when I worked in corporate America, and I was in sales, and I traveled a lot for my job. And I would be in the car sometime for six or eight hours driving, I used to joke that I was like a long haul trucker. But I would have I would dive into these like, pit bottomless pit holes of like, stupid stuff I had done, have you ever done this? So be honest, because I know you have, like, you’re all of a sudden thinking about something stupid, you did like in third grade,

right? And you go over that in your head. Or even you start thinking

about something you wish you hadn’t said a week ago or something you wish had gone differently, and you start to mold it over and going over and going over and going over. And what struck me so much when I was talking to Alex that way was she was alone. And so she recognized it. But I bet that we all do that so much more often than we even recognize. And what it does is it reinforces the things that we have, have faulted on, right? The things we don’t feel good about. And so it reinforces in our brain. Anything new you think about you probably can’t do because look at you did this stupid thing in third grade. I know that sounds crazy on the surface, but your brain wants to find an answer. And so it doesn’t want you to move forward. It doesn’t want you to do anything outside of the ordinary,

right? Because it that could mean death.

Right? If I go and I’m a caveman, and I’m out and about and I am going into a new field I’ve never ever been in.

Well,

and a lion could come and get me. So my brain, the biologically my brain wants to stop me from doing anything new. And I think that’s the new way that it’s doing it in our new world where we don’t get eaten by lions. But it will stop me from speaking out in a meeting because remember that stupid thing you said two months ago, and it will stop me from asking for a sale. Because remember, when you ask for a sale that time and the guy laughed at you, or it will stop you from telling your spouse something that you need because they were in their own world at the time you asked and it didn’t go well or they didn’t understand you or there was a misunderstanding. And so your brain continues to return that stuff. Turn Turn, turn, turn, turn. Okay. So if I want to release the brake, the key to releasing my handbrake is releasing that junk. And so how do I do that? How do I release all that junk and start focusing on something new, I have to I have to actively and purposely give my brain something new to think about. So one of the ways that we do this is with affirmations. Now, I want to read a quote by Jim Carrey, who is an actor you probably know him. He’s very funny. And you may have heard before, there’s a lot of YouTube videos of him and some of the things he’s said on Oprah and some other shows where he’s talked about the power of his mind in creating the life that he has now. And this particular quote, he says, I’ve always believed in magic, when I wasn’t doing anything in this town, I’d go up every night, sit on Mulholland Drive, look out at the city, stretch out my arms and say, everybody wants to work with me. I’m a really good actor. I have all kinds of great movie offers. And I just repeat these things over and over literally convincing myself that I had a couple of movies lined up, I drive down that hill ready to take on the world going movie offers are out there for me. I just don’t hear them yet. It was like total affirmations, antidotes of the stuff that stems from my family background.

So what he did was he he

believed that there was something else for him. He believed that there was something else coming. Now, I have a lot of friends right now on Facebook that are pregnant, and you may too or you may have been pregnant, or you may know people that are pregnant outside of Facebook. But they are so excited about their little one coming. And they’re buying clothes and they’re preparing and they’re painting the nursery. They’re picking out names and they’re having parties with different colored cake pink or blue. But they don’t have the baby yet. They can’t see the baby. They can’t hold the baby. They’re not playing

with the baby. There’s nothing

with the baby that they’re doing right now. Right? But they’re excited nonetheless because they know that it’s coming. They know that something great is coming that they’re excited for and they’re preparing and they know with certainty that it’s coming And so that’s what Jim Carrey was doing. He just knew that it was coming. He was pregnant with the success, he was pregnant with the movie roles. He was pregnant with the financial gains, and the creativity that he wanted to have in creating these movies. And so we have to get in a space in our lives where we know it’s coming, where we feel pregnant with that abundance, and we know it’s coming. And so how do you do that? So inside the lab, if you go to live, big lab comm, you can join us inside the lab, or you can just text live big one word 2444999, that’ll get you a link to get inside the lab. But inside the lab, I’m going to break this down even further and give you step by step directions on how to do this. But I’m going to share a couple of them with you now, because that’ll get you started. So the number one thing that you’re going to need to do when you start putting together an affirmation is,

is to decide

to say it in these in this particular way, you’re going to want to say

I am

so you’ll notice Jim Carrey was like I am really good actor, I have all kinds of great movie roles, right? Everybody wants to work with me I am. And the words I am can be so so powerful, either positively or negatively. So let’s use them in this case positively. So I am living in the way that I want. I am expecting to travel, I am planning some adventures coming up, I am creating amazing relationships with my spouse and my family and my friends. So when we set up our affirmations, we want to set them up in a way that is present and is using the words I am to start that’s just a good guideline to get yourself going. The other is to make it current. So not to say,

next month,

I know that that will happen,

right? I want to make it current, it has to be believable.

I can’t say right now I make a million dollars. But I can say, right now I’m doing the things every day that will create a million dollar business,

do you see the difference?

So I am and make it current in a way that works for your brain to believe it, we want to make sure that those things we say are positive, not negative. So I don’t want to say I’m not doing the things that would harm my

business.

I want to say I’m doing the things that help my business every day. So make sure that you’re framing it in the positive. Now, there’s a whole other list of some things that I have. And again, those are inside the lab that’ll help you create the most perfect affirmations possible as well, as a secret sauce word that I have. It is a phrase that if you say at the end of every affirmation, it can catapult you and really change the way affirmations start to work for you. So how do you use affirmation? So if you get your affirmations, and you write them down, and you can pick different areas of your life, you know, choose all the different areas that are important to you, your career, your finances, your relationships, romantic relationships, so those with your friends, and you know your community, how do you connect with your community use all of those areas that are important to you and create this word, I am in the current that promotes and supports what your goal is. Now, review these several times a day, I’ll review mine in the morning, you can review them at night. Another way to do it is to put music on. So in the morning, I do a meditation, and then I put on ocean sounds. And I read through my affirmations the ocean sounds helped me to really visualize it. So I’m not just reading the words like I am speaking and sharing a message that really helps people all over the world. I actually can envision myself, I’m envisioning myself at a retreat that’s at the beach. Because everything about me revolves around the beach, if you know me at all and listen to these podcasts, but having that sound in the background, or even if it’s a pumped up music, you know, go onto Spotify and listen to music, movie soundtracks, that’s a great way to get music that can really help pump you up. And, and use that. So turn on the music have that moment where you’re really reading it and feeling it and getting excited. Now, Abraham Hicks if you know who that is, talks about the law of attraction and talks about how in 68 seconds of focusing on something that you want, it starts to change your brainwaves. And so if you can do these affirmations, it’s actually changing the way your brain works. So it’s not just woowoo it’s changing the way your brain works. And so your brain wants to create the experience that you tell it to believe that’s your brain’s job, right. So if I tell it I need to be aware of a lion. It’s good if I find danger everywhere. I look have me be super conscious. If I tell it that I want to, you know, change people’s lives and, and travel all over the world and do retreats and meet with people, and then my brain is going to start to see places where I could do that, then my brain is going to start saying, well, Betsy, why don’t instead of just interviews on your podcast, why don’t you share some of your message so people can hear what that’s like. And then when they want or retreat, they want a speaker, they’ll be able to hear some of your message. So I didn’t think of that if I hadn’t had the larger idea of what I really wanted as an outcome, or one of the outcomes for my life along with the secret sauce words, which are awesome. So another way you can do this is put a post it note on your light switch. So one thing my brain really likes to do is it likes to know something is true. And then if I say something after that known thing, it tends to believe that thing more. So many times, you’ll notice on the news, they’ll tell you something that is true. And then they’ll tell you something else that is an idea. But it seems true, because they’ve attached it to the thing that you already know to be true. So I have some of my affirmations on post it notes right underneath my light switch. And when I come in, in the morning, I see my light switch and I flick it on. And I say I gave myself permission to flick on the light.

And I give myself permission to create a million dollar business. So that’s what it says right underneath my light switch. So I’m giving myself permission to turn on the light. Oh, I turned on the light. I’m also giving myself permission to create a million dollar business. I’m gonna do us here my dog moaning as he stretches, he’s so loud, I it needs to be some sort of ending to my podcast is him moaning and groaning. But anyway, let’s flick on the light switch, I give myself the truth. And then I give myself the truth as it is coming. So that’s another way to use your affirmations. You know, record them, listen to them in the car as you drive, so you can record them. There’s some apps out there, and I’ll link to those inside the lab. But there’s some apps out there where you can actually it records affirmations, it’s specifically for that reason, or you can just record them on the recorder app on your phone, and just play it well. You’re driving to work so that you’re hearing your own voice, and that is being recreated in your life. So take this to heart, listen to the listen to the words you tell yourself. Now you’re gonna start to notice when you’re replaying things. And now if you can notice, immediately pivot to your affirmation. And if you get these affirmations written down, that will make it so much easier, because you’ll already have them Top of Mind and you can go Oh, I’m not thinking about that silly thing I did. I’m thinking about what’s to come and what’s ahead. So this can make a dramatic impact on your life. There are you know, look up Will Smith, look up. Jim Carrey. There’s so many like fun stories of celebrities who have created their dream lives by using this technology. And you can use it to so go out this week. Make it an awesome week. Remember, you deserve to live a big life, and I’m looking forward to seeing you inside the lab. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now, don’t forget you can find the lab by going to live big lab.com

or you can text the word live big just one word 2444999. Have a super week. And as always,

here’s the little message from my husband.

That’s it.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

HI, I'M YOUR HOST

Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs

*Optimist

*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.

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