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Welcome to The Art of Living
big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker, and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your
This podcast is designed to help you think
differently about what could be possible for your life.
Now, let’s go live bag.
Good morning fellow adventurers. Welcome to the art of living big. So this week, I want to talk to you about something that I have been thinking about and really thinking about, I don’t know, probably like the last six weeks or so, I’m going to explain why and what I’ve been thinking about. But before I get started, I want to let you know, if you’re not in my facebook group, I, I shared something in my facebook group, and I shared it in on my email list. So if you’re not in either of those things, you can join the Facebook group, if you just go to the art of living big.com, it will push you right into the Facebook group.
And usually, once or twice a week, I’ll go on and expand on something from the show and coach on that. We do a little thing called the possibility posse where we have a goal every week to be looking for something just to expand our awareness and look just a good community. So you can join us in there. But one of the things that I shared with everybody in there was, I don’t know how long ago it was, I’m gonna say like four or five years, four years ago, probably I’m gonna say four years ago. I got some training with Mike Dooley. And if you don’t know who Mike Dooley is, he was in the secret.
He’s like the bald guy that said, like thoughts become things. And he has also the mastermind behind tut the notes from the universe, which is like a free email service, you can sign up for an every day, you’ll get a new email from the universe. That’s really fun. I think it’s just got.com if you want to check that out. But anyway, I did some coaching with Mike. And from that coaching and what I learned, I created a course called the infinite soul project.
It is a collection of videos that are put together to help walk you through a spiritual practice, help you get in touch with some things inside yourself and be able to start on a path. So I am offering this again, I hadn’t offered it for a while. And I have rolled it out again, just because so many people were asking me about it and they wanted to be able to take this next step. And so if this feels like the right next step for you, and you want to check that out, you can just go to my website, if you just go to Betsy Pake calm.
It is in the menu, but you can also just go to Betsy Pake comm backslash Sol, and I’ve got that on a special deal for you guys right now. So if you’re interested in that, it’s it’s a no brainer, pretty cheap. So wanted to share that with you. All right. So at the beginning of the year, I talked about how the past couple years I’ve had like a theme for the year, right. And this year, my theme is that I dwell in certainty, right? So if you listen to that episode, you know, I have this little light box sign on my desk.
And I dwell in certainty does not fit. So it just says it will work. And last year, I had one that said No more waiting. And this was so significant for me because I had been waiting for a long time I did a whole show on this towards the end of 2019. But I had been waiting and waiting, you know, waiting for this thing to happen on waiting for that thing to happen. But here’s something that started happening to me.
Well, 2020 has rolled around, and January literally felt like the longest month of my life. Like I was like, why is this month it? It was at this, it was at the same moment, like one of the greatest months of my life. And also one of the hardest months of my life is just so full of contradiction. And I was trying to dwell in certainty. And what I realized was that I was waiting again.
And you know, our lives go in cycles and seasons, and there is a time to to rest and there’s a time to hustle. You know, everything is an ebb and a flow. And I thought to myself, like How did I end up in the waiting again, like, I feel like I’m sort of waiting to find out what this thing is going to do or what that thing is going to do and decisions that have to be made or hinges on other decisions.
And Gosh, I just felt like I don’t want to get stuck in that waiting again. And so I started using all my tools, right to help me kind of push through this. And what kept coming up for me is well, if you are waiting, then who are you becoming? Well, you wait.
Who are you becoming while you wait and maybe you’re waiting to maybe you are stuck, where there are decisions that hinge on other people making choices and those people making decisions. Or maybe there’s things that are coming up things you’re looking forward to, but they’re not until the middle or the end of the year, or maybe there’s changes you anticipate, but you’re waiting to find out, you know, what your job is going to do, or how things are going to shift.
And that waiting period can become so overwhelming, it can become something that holds us right where we are, where we’re just constantly anticipating looking forward to. And we’re not actually in the moment, you know, we’re not actually experiencing what we’re having. There are pockets of my life. And I am, especially this is, if I were to look like that in my life. I think if I were to look at my list of struggles and things that I like came here to overcome, honestly, I think one of them would be like being present in the now it’s something I have to constantly pull myself back to, because I’m very goal driven.
And so I’m constantly looking to the future. And there have been times where I have accomplished really amazing things. And I didn’t appreciate them at all, because as soon as they happened, I was like, what’s next? What’s next. And that can be really exhausting. And I’m gonna guess that probably you have times like that too. Or maybe you’re built just like me where that’s kind of what happens.
And so when I recognized this, then I was like, hold up, I’m waiting again, like I’m stuck in the waiting, which is making me forward thinking and not bringing me into the present. And so I asked myself that question, Who are you becoming? Will you wait several years ago, when I first started Instagram, so I don’t know what that was? Seven years, six, seven years ago, I forget how long Instagram has been around.
But my my handle my name is My name now. So if you find me on Instagram is just Betsy Pake, but at the time it was becoming Betsy, there were so many changes happening in my life when I was making some big shifts around things. And I felt like I was becoming who I really was. And so when I asked myself that question, Who are you becoming? Will you wait? I thought, I’m becoming Betsy, how do I become more and more me, you know, when we’re born, and I was born, I was Betsy, right?
When you were born, you were truly you. And then you learned how to change and adapt so that you could get your needs met, you learn to accept beliefs and values and behaviors from people around you. Because that’s what made you accepted into the tribe. And that’s so important for us as human beings. But I want to, I think our work now is to undo these layers, and to get back to becoming who we really are.
And I believe that these periods of waiting can be an incredible experience of unpeeling the onion. And getting back to becoming the truest version of ourselves, it’s an opportunity, because things aren’t moving so fast. You know, things aren’t coming at us at a galactic speed where we can’t keep up, things are stagnant.
And I believe that the universe is divine and balanced. And it gives us this opportunity, this balance to be able to do this inner work and to touch base with ourselves. And so I started to look at this and say, Okay, well, who am I becoming? Like, I don’t want to become the kind of person that’s anxious. That’s who I was becoming because I was thinking, I want this to happen. I want that to happen.
And I don’t want to be the kind of person that is a extreme. I’m going to explain it like this, but an extreme pusher. My husband and I had this conversation again this weekend about moving, and I cannot I cannot get him to move. And we’ve been talking about this for years. And I my frustration level gets so high because I don’t feel in control of it. I don’t understand why it’s not my decision to get one to move, let’s move.
And he was getting frustrated. Because for him it wasn’t time, right. And he had things he was working on and other things happening. And so who I was becoming in that was like really agitated, like super push, like pushing, pushing.
And if it doesn’t line up, I’ve chosen to be in a partnership and if it doesn’t line up for the partnership, there’s something else that has to happen and me pushing and nagging and complaining and whining about it, even though that feels really good to me to do that. Isn’t bringing me to who I want to become in this. So who do I want to become I want To be open and in flow, I want to start looking for this synchronicities so that somebody, a buyer just comes to my house and makes this so easy and simple.
And it becomes a no brainer. And everybody’s on board. And it’s for the best of the collective of the partnership. That’s really what I want. And so the things that I was doing weren’t wasn’t, wasn’t supporting that. Well, the things I was doing was coming from the things I was thinking. And so the things I was thinking weren’t supporting that. And the things I was thinking was coming from fear was coming from scarcity it was coming from this is never going to happen.
Why is this taking so damn long, right? And so when I can get to that, what’s the fear? And I can say, well, what’s the fear behind that? What’s the fear behind that and get to the bottom of what the fear really is? Well, then I can start to come to terms with that, I can make that less scary. When we look at something. When something is overwhelming, and something is scary, and something feels out of our control, or something is upsetting to us.
I know all the times where I’ve had something that has been really like, you know, in my craw and I couldn’t get rid of it, I had to sit with it, I had to think about it. I had to give it time to say what is it I’m really thinking about all of this. And what’s a better way to think so with all that said, I want you to look at if you’re feeling this stagnant part of your life kind of coming forward right now in this, you know, January, February 2020. or anytime that you’re listening to this, is there something in here that you need to become. And when you can become that thing, then the next layer is going to be ready to present itself and show itself.
But until then you’re stuck. There’s a lesson that needs to be learned in this. And if we’re constantly pulling for what’s next, we’re missing the lesson. And I think it doesn’t mean we don’t get the next thing that’s coming. But I do believe that it makes it harder to hang on to it. So we might get that piece of success that we want. But it is it, it comes and goes right or it’s hard to hold on to. Because we haven’t yet become who we need to become in this in this moment. So.
So as you take a look, and you start evaluating where you are, what’s happening in your life, right now, I want you to look at four different areas. So I want you to look first of all at what you are creating, what are the things that you want to create for your future. So you know, this is always really fun, because this is like when we can have the vision and we can start to dream. This is like what is this newer version of me this part of me that does all the things I want to do, right?
How does she walked? How does she talk? What does she think? What kind of clothes does she wear? Like? Who are her friends? What does she do every day? Who does she surround herself with? So all of those things, really creating that new version? So Well, I’m here and I want to become this version. So what am I creating? Who is this that I am creating? The second thing I want you to think about is where you want to preserve?
So what is it that you have right now that you need to preserve? And this can this sounds like okay, well, I want to keep that I want to keep that I want you to really think about this, and make this an active choice. Like I want to keep this element of my life, my personality, my behavior, because and figure out where it serves you how it serves you. And if it’s not compelling enough, then it’s got to go.
And that’s going to go into your third bucket, which is the eliminating, eliminating a bucket. So this is where you’re going to really figure out what needs to go in order where I’m going, this vision that I have requires that I no longer have this habit, you know, it requires that I no longer have this, these people surrounding me, right, it requires that I no longer have, you know, whatever that is, it’s sort of like, you know, cleaning out your office or cleaning out your car or your garage, right?
So what do you need to clean out so that this new version of you can come in, you know, and I’ve said this, you’ve heard this before, but nature abhors a vacuum. So when something is eliminated, creates space for something else. So I want you to look at what you’re creating, look at what you need to preserve.
Look at what you need to eliminate. And then I want you to look at accepting and this is really What are the the elements that you need to accept, they are the things that maybe you don’t really like right now, or things that you wish were different, but it is time that you just accept them instead of pushing against them, we can spend a lot of our energy pushing against things, that that just that pushing in itself is taking away from creating the vision and becoming who we’re supposed to be. So what are the things you’re no longer going to push against? What are the things you need to accept?
And, you know, for me, and the example that I gave was, I, I’m not there yet. I’m really thinking through this, but I need to accept that when the time is right, then it will be right to move. I get a lot of messages from people about how to move or where to move or why I haven’t moved or, because I talk about it so much. And it it I’ve I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’ve slowed my roll talking about it, because it really stresses me out.
Because I’m, it’s such a complex thing. And so, you know, weed, lots of people involved and lots of moving parts and lots of things that I don’t share on the show that are important parts of that decision. So I am at the point where I need to accept really where I am with this, and where the collective group of all the people that are are impacted by this. And so accepting can be really difficult. I’m going to change my words on that. Because I do feel that right now accepting can be really difficult, what if it wasn’t difficult. So accepting might be an opportunity for you to grow and one of the biggest ways.
And so I want you to take a little bit of time.
So if you feel like you’re stuck,
or stagnant, who are you becoming while you wait, look at who you’re creating, who you’re preserving what you need to eliminate, and what it’s time to just accept. So, I think when you can do those four things, and you can start to become clear, that is how you become present in what’s happening right now. And that is how you live a really big life. Alright, thanks so much for listening. You all I will see you next week.
Thanks so much for listening today. Just a reminder, we’ll see you on Mondays and Thursdays. Now if you enjoyed this show, I would love it if you shared it with your friends. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit an email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com and we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai