199: Mastering Step one- Experiencing contrast - Betsy Pake

199: Mastering Step one- Experiencing contrast


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Welcome to The Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy Pake, and I’m an author, speaker and a master mindset coach focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of your subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now,

let’s go live big.

Hello fellow adventurers, welcome to the show today. Today, we’re going to talk about step one, step one of Abraham Hicks five steps to manifestation. Now, there is a reason that I’m just going to be talking probably only about step one. But before I do that, let me just remind you, I invite you into the Facebook group. So if you’re not already in the Facebook group, you can get there really easy.

Just go into your browser and type the art of living big calm. Last week, I did a really cool process with eight questions to help you become unstuck and people had some really cool revelations and noticed some things that they hadn’t noticed before. So these questions are designed to subconsciously start to lift you out of where you are, right? Because whenever we have a problem, we’re sort of in this box and stuck.

So it moves you out of that and shifts you out. So if you want to hear those questions, you can jump into the Facebook group, there’s a video there from last week, I’m going to be doing coaching or I do coaching, I do jump on live probably once or twice a week.

And if you’re not on Facebook,

first of all, I salute you, because I have tried to not be on Facebook. But I every login that I have on the planet is linked to my Facebook, and so it just didn’t work. So I finally just surrendered and jumped in with both feet. But if you are not on Facebook, eventually those emails or those videos hit my YouTube channel, I have a YouTube channel, you can find it. There’s a link to it on my, on my website.

I think if you type in Betsy live.com, I think that will bring you right to the YouTube channel. Now those videos don’t go up immediately. The one with the eight questions isn’t there yet. But it’ll be there, you know, in a month or six weeks or so. So there’s loads of videos on there already. There are videos from years ago if you want to check out baby


and what I had to share with you then. So anyway, now, let’s get into step one. Now, if you have never heard of Abraham Hicks, then I would encourage you to go back into episode I think it’s Episode 71. I talk about that. I also go into the steps in an episode

that I did when I was at the beach.

Now this is an episode that I did. I’ve done a couple episodes will at the beach. But this particular one was back like in 2008. It’s Episode 98. And I go through all five steps and sort of how I have used those, and how I see those show up how I see them work in real life. So if that’s interesting to you, you can jump back and check out those episodes. But for this, I want

to dive in just into step one.

And here’s why.

So many times I find that the things that I’m going through my closest friends are going through to right do you notice that? So we’re all in this together? You know, I totally believe this is a tapestry where we are all woven in together. If you’re listening to me right now You and I are woven in together in some way. And so if you’re experiencing the same kind of thing I’m experiencing, or I am experiencing what you are experiencing, I don’t think it’s an accident or a mistake. I think it’s part of the tapestry. And we are touching in some layer of those threads that over overlap and intertwine.

And so I was not surprised

this week, when I was talking to one of my girlfriends, and she was talking about how she was experiencing a lot of the unwanted. Right. A lot of contrast. So basically, she was just like stuff was sucking, you know, she was like, why is this happening? Why is this so frustrating? Why does this keep showing up? Right? And we can have experiences in our life, that are huge moments of suckage, right?

Where we get laid off from a job or fired from a job or, you know, someone we love dumps us or whatever it is like these huge moments where you’re like, whoa, wait a minute, this is not what I wanted at all. And then we can also experience all day long differences, right things that we like things that we don’t like, and so this back and forth. And so when I talk about this, I typically Call it contrast.

And I get that as an abraham hicks term. So I call it contrast because when I call it contrast, it doesn’t seem as insurmountable. It feels more like, yeah, we’re supposed to have contrast. So this thing I’m experiencing is supposed to happen. And if it’s supposed to happen,

then clearly I can deal with it.

Right? So putting it in those terms really helps me.

So you’ll hear me talk about it. But when I say contrast, I’m not trying to belittle a problem that you might be having that feels really huge.


I believe that we are corks floating in the ocean. Now just hear me out, not literal corks floating in the ocean. But I believe that we are these souls, these spirits that are having this physical experience, and our soul can Bob like a cork in the ocean. And when it’s bobbing, it is in the ocean, right? It’s in our body. It’s in this physical realm. And it’s also experiencing the air right outside of the ocean. So it’s experiencing collective consciousness or the connection to the universe, right? It’s in the field.

Right? If you’re a Dr. Joe dispenza person, it’s in the field, right? So I believe that field is that is like the air right? If I’m a cork bobbing in the ocean, now when I’m a cork bobbing in the ocean, I can feel the air I can be in the air experience the field, I can also see the shoreline, right, I can see things I can see birds, I can see farther than I can when I’m deep down in the ocean. Now, why is this important? This is important because when I’m bobbing, I can see things that give me clues

as to where I’m going.

If I’m bobbing in the ocean, and I can’t see the shoreline, but I start to see birds, I know I must be close to shore, because birds would only be flying close to shore. So I start to get these little hints, these little things that tell me that I’m getting closer that I’m on the way, right? You can’t see those you can’t get to those if you’re not experiencing the field. I believe that what happens

is that as human beings, we

get all of these layers of junk. So year after year after year of, you know, being let down people disappointing us, we’re experiencing things, people putting their hot potato in their hurt onto us. And we take the hot potato and hold on to it for 22 years, right starts to create this, almost like a shield that’s like pushing us pushing us hands pushing us down, down, down, down down into the ocean. So what happens, then all of a sudden, we experienced this contrast, this stuff we don’t want.

And instead of thinking,

Oh, this is here to help me, we allow it to push us down even further and further. And pretty soon we’ve lost connection to the field to something larger than us

to each other.

We’ve lost that all together. And so one of the things that I believe is so important if you’re a Dr. Joe person, he believes it is meditation that’s going to help you rise, reach the field and create a new reality. I absolutely believe that also, I also believe that we have to on layer on peel back those layers that are pushing us down.

And every time we peel back one little layer, we heal one little thing within ourselves, that cork starts to rise and rise and rise and rise and what is really happening your vibration is getting higher and higher and higher. So if you are working on yourself, and you’re making changes, and you’re like I’ve worked on myself for one day, whoop dee doo, I’m nowhere near where I need to be I’m not floating yet. It doesn’t matter because your vibration is

just a little bit higher than it was yesterday.

So I believe this work is best done every single day, Dr. Joe will tell you to meditate every single day because it helps to float your cork right it helps to get you to the top layer. And it helps to train your body that you don’t need the other layers, those aren’t necessary that you’re actually designing your life from that view of the future from that connection to the field. Right. And so I believe that anytime that we are experiencing contrast, it is this incredible gift because it allows us to see what one of the layers is. Otherwise we’re sort of like floating in the ocean, not totally sure what needs to be healed.

The moment we have contrast or where I’m going to use air quotes might with my fingers here triggered by something something somebody says something it really is gets in our craw, right? We get an email from somebody, and we’re like, oh, that really annoys me. It is a moment to be able to understand what it is that needs to be healed. And there are a variety of tools that you could use to be able to heal that. So I say all of that just to kind of preface this idea that all day long, we’re going to experiencing, you know, we might experience big things that are going wrong, but we also are experiencing contrast

all the time,

likes and dislikes all the time all the time, you may not even notice it, because it’s such a regular part of how you’re living your life. You know, this morning, I went downstairs, I went to get my breakfast, I had a huge bowl of fruit with coconut milk and some granola on top, that’s like my favorite thing. I have two different kinds of granola. I tried one of them yesterday, and I didn’t like it as much.

So today, when I looked at the two bags, I experienced the contrast, I don’t like that one as much, I’m gonna choose this other one. So it can be as subtle as that. Or it can be something huge that like knocks on your door, you know, you get an email from somebody that says something that makes you go, oh my god, I just don’t want to get messages like this anymore, right? I don’t want to deal with this person, or I wish they weren’t my boss or whatever it is. So the contrast is truly here to help you make a choice about what you want. The problem is, is when it’s something bigger than like choosing my granola, I could very quickly.

Actually let’s break that down just for a second. I have the two choices of granola. Here’s what we do typically with problems that are bigger than granola. Okay, we go and we see I’ve got there’s two always two choices, no matter what you’re experiencing. Right now there’s another side to it, right? There could be a variety of an unlimited number of choices, right? But you see, the choice. Has this kernel I don’t really like I can choose a different granola. But what we do as we go, I really don’t like that granola.

I don’t like it have like these

dehydrated blueberries. And I don’t I just don’t like that. Oh my gosh, those blueberries like turned my coconut milk blue. And then I I just felt weird about that. And I don’t know that I like eating blue things. And oh my gosh, and then blueberries. I don’t know where those blueberries came from? Are they real wild Maine

blueberries? Because

those are supposed to be good for you. But I don’t know, if dehydrated? Are their chemicals in the dehydrate? Do you see what I’m doing. So where I could have just made another choice, I could have just said, Oh, I’m gonna get a different granola, or I’m not gonna have granola, or I’m gonna go to the store and get the kind of journal I love. I’m gonna call amazon prime and have them Deliver me the world’s most perfect granola. So now I want you to bring this into your real life.

And something happens. And it is the

opportunity for you

to say I want the other one,

whatever that other one is.

But instead,

what happens. And I do this too. So that I’m I’m doing this episode because I needed to remind myself of it.

But what do we do? We go, Oh,

my God, I can’t believe I got that email. Who does? she think she is? Why is she sending me that? What did she even say? I’m gonna call. I’m gonna call Jenny. I’m going to see what Jenny thinks about this. I’m going to read her the email. And then after I read her the email, we’re going to talk about it. And then we’re going to talk about Do you see what I mean? So there’s all of this energy that goes into it.

And it is, it is the default really of our brains in so many ways, because our brain is designed to look for danger, right to keep me safe. And right now in our world, there’s not a whole lot of danger. Like in my world, I can go to the grocery store, if I need food, I’m not starving, or, you know, like hunting for my food. I live in a really safe area, I can drive my car, I have a safe car. Do you know what I mean? Like I don’t have a lot of issues in that way of safety or like something’s gonna get me an eat me. But my brain still has that desire to protect me.

So because it

isn’t looking for something like way out there, right? If I drew a circle around myself, that was like a mile wide.

Okay, there’s a huge circle around you right now it’s a mile wide way out on the edges of that circle, maybe, you know, wild Tigers or whatever. And my brain is designed to be on the lookout for any kind of rustling in the in the grass that would lead me to believe that was coming. I don’t have that. So that circle goes all the way in so now is right around me. And now it’s like what can I be afraid of?

What can What can I focus on? And so when I get a piece of contrast, which is totally normal to help me redirect myself, What do I do? I get really hyper focused on it because that’s what my brain is designed to do. So here’s the thing.

You have to have focus

You I’m sorry, I’m gonna say you have to have focus, you have to have contrast. You have to have contrast. It’s designed to help you pick what you want. And then all you have to do is go for what you want. And we’ll get into more of that. But the contrast is there to serve you. It’s really good. And I was talking to one of my girlfriends, which is how I started this episode, I was talking to one of my girlfriends, she was experiencing contrast. And I was like, This is similar contrast to what I’m experiencing. And I found myself going a little like, and then I said to her, wait a second.

What if it isn’t some big lesson for our internal beings to heal and prove that we can overcome whatever it is, right? Because immediately I went to like, I’m going to unpeel this onion, I’m gonna release this layer. What is this layer? I said to her? What if it’s just a piece of contrast? What if it, this is just something to get me to redirect to look at what I do want? Why don’t we try that? And she was like, Oh, my gosh, you’re right. Now there are many things that come up from our past and keep us stuck and keep us triggered.

Absolutely. And if it’s something big that you feel

like you have to heal it, then by all means,

heal that thing. I am all on board for that I do that work every day with myself and with my clients. But I also want you to notice, when it’s something you could just release and focus on where you want to go. Are we making it too difficult? I was I was trying to heal something that really just was there to redirect to me. And I couldn’t figure out why I couldn’t heal it, why can’t I figure it out? What’s the cause of this? What’s the root cause? What happened when I was five that made me not want this email or whatever it is, right? And so I want you to look out today for the contrast.

And I want you to know, I want you to weigh it yourself. And you will know the answer. You’ll know just allow your subconscious to tell you, it’s going to be a feeling you might feel it in your body, it might just be a knowing.

And I want you to think like is this something I have to heal? Or is this just contrast to redirect me. And if it’s just there to redirect, you hyper focus on what you want. Use it as a tool, use the contrast as a tool, so that you can start looking for what it is that you want. Now, when you get what it is you want, I want you

to dwell on it.

I want you to think about it. I want you to focus on how could that be even better? What would that feel like in my body? If I really have that thing? What would that be like? Right? I’ll tell you my contrast this week, I talked to a couple people this week, that and I talked to women all the time that are you know, looking for clarity or looking for a coach. And sometimes it’s a good fit, sometimes it’s not a good fit.

And if it’s not a good fit, I’ll direct them to somebody else. I want to be able to help people, I don’t want to just take people in that I don’t think I can help. And so if their issue is something that I don’t work with, I tell them and I give them other resources or another coach. But I had a couple people that I know I could help. Like I was like, Oh my God, this would be so fantastic. And we could shift things, I bet this could shift really fast. And this could shift really like I was getting so excited.

And you

know, anytime we go to make a change, there can be fear involved, especially if it’s taking your time, your money or your energy,

those three things are going to push

you over the edge. And I know for me because I have made some huge shifts with things and taken leaps. I’ve also said no to leaps, because it was going to take my time. Usually for me, it’s my time or my money. I’m pretty good at controlling my energy. But if it’s going to take my time and even if I have the money, I’m like, I don’t have the time for this right. I want to do it. But I don’t have the time for this. So the contrast for me was coming in that these people were were coming to me. I know they wanted help. I know I could help them. I know it would be



the fear sort of took over and they were like I just don’t think I can do that right now. And so I was starting to wonder what is it about? What’s the contrast? What is that? What’s what is it in me? Am I not willing to give something to improve myself? Like, am I putting myself second or third? Like where am I putting other stuff in front of my own growth? Like I started really going down the rabbit hole.

And finally I decided no, it was really contrast to help me shift to the people that I could help to the people that already said yes and that I am helping Could I love them more? Could I pour into them even more? Could I shift my focus from somebody who’s not ready for me they’re not ready if they’re not ready for me or anybody that that’s nothing I there’s no contrast in there for me other than it’s telling me to be so grateful and appreciative of the wonderful amazing women that I have gotten to work with Right. And so then I was like, how can I connect with them even more?

What could I do? Like, I want to do more stuff with them, and I want to create something really cool with them. So I was like thinking like, setting up a house at the beach and having them come and we’ll do stuff together. Like I was coming up with all these really great fun ideas. Now, if I had stayed in the contrast of why why why aren’t people willing to take a risk on themselves? Like, what’s the,

what is it that makes this so scary? like is

this so foreign to it, like, if I

had gone down that road, it would have

taken my attention away from some really cool stuff that I’ve got in the works and some really fun stuff. So contrast isn’t just there, to teach you, and to show you what needs to be released. Contrast can be there to just help direct you to focus more on what it is that you want. And when you can do that. That is when you can start to create from a deliberate place. That’s when you can start to believe that everything that you really want is coming to you because you’re focused on the good stuff. And when you’re focused on the good stuff you feel good. And when you feel good is when the things that you want begin to come to you.

So that is step one.

I think maybe we should do a little series and really dive deeper into each of the steps because I think that this is so simple, yet can be so confusing. And so I give you step one this week, see where you can just notice the contrast and shift your focus. Notice the contrast, shift your focus, choose the kind of granola that you really want it because I think when you can do that, that is when you live a big life.

So I hope this episode was helpful to you. If it was share it with your friends. tag me on social media. I’m on Instagram at Betsy Pake are all over social media. Betsy Pake so I will see you well on Monday with our intention setting episode. Until then have a safe and happy weekend. Thanks so much for listening today. Just a reminder, we’ll see you on Mondays and Thursdays.

Now if you enjoyed this show, I would love it if you shared it with your friends. If you want to take a moment to leave us a review on iTunes. Take a quick screenshot before you hit submit an email it over to us at support at Betsy pake.com. And we will send you a special audio hypnosis to help you overcome a limiting belief. Thanks so much and I’ll see you next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.