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Betsy shares some thoughts and experiences that have recently shifted her mindset. The stories and realizations that she shares will help you be more intentional, overcome imposter syndrome, and be more present in the moment.
>>> Connect with Betsy on IG @betsypake
TRANSCRIPT
Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hello, hello. Hi fellow adventurers, welcome to today’s show. I’m so excited. You’re here. If you’re new here, welcome. Welcome. I have so many things to tell you. Part of me was like, Is this another coffee talk episode, but I feel like I have a purpose and a point to all of my stories, they’re all headed in the same direction. So today, I want to talk a little bit about being present. Now, before you just turn this off. Like, oh, my gosh, there’s a million things about being present, I have a couple of stories and some things that kind of shifted the way that I have been thinking or looking at things. And because I believe we’re also connected, maybe some of my shifts will help you too. So over the past month, I have been really focused on being present, but not out of,
not out of like a, I really want to be present in my life. Not that it came more from, oh, my gosh, I have to be present, like a necessity. I was getting really anxious about things. Now. Let me pause for a second. Anytime we’re present, we’re in the moment, we’re not thinking about the past. And we’re not moving too far in the future. When we’re thinking about the past, when we’re ruminating on that, or rehashing things, that’s when we feel things like regret, or disappointment or anger or those kinds of things for me. But when I think about the future, that’s when I start feeling things like anxious and nervous or excited. And what I was finding was that I have had some really big goals over the past like five or six years. And those goals, amazingly, were coming to fruition I was seeing them show up in my life. And so I was starting to think a lot about them. And, and, and kind of getting nervous about them. You know, anytime there’s something that we really, really want. I think when we start to see it, then there can be a time where we go. Am I supposed to have that? Like, is it? Am I worthy of that? Why did this take so long, maybe this is a mistake. I think they refer to this as imposter syndrome. But I was definitely feeling that. And ever since we got home from Arizona from our live NLP training, I’ve been feeling that sort of like not being present, being outside of myself and way too far in the future. One of the things that I always tell people inside the alchemy Institute, when they are that’s our program where we train people to be life coaches, and LP coaches hypnotherapists. And one of the things I tell them, when they say to me, I have an appointment with my first client, like I’m so nervous, I’ll always say like, then you’re thinking too much about you in it, just think about them. And for me, that takes away the nerves like automatically, I’m not anxious anymore. Because I’m, I’m focused on them and serving them instead of how I look in the situation right on if they’re going to judge me if I’m a good coach or any of that stuff. It just shifts it and moves it away. And that process has always been really easy for me. But I’m noticing that I’m doing some new things, you know, this live event in in Sedona was one of them. And then I start worrying like, will I will I bring it will I be able to show up in a big enough way to really serve them. And that like amount of pressure to be like insanely great, although I think can be healthy in some ways, right to drive us and push us forward. For me. It was starting to make me anxious and I have things that are coming up all all the way through the rest of the year that I was was starting to be uncomfortable. And so my intention of being present was really out of necessity. My intention of like being grounded and in the moment was really out of like I need to do this so that I can like sleep at night you know I It was surprising to me how much wild My mind was getting. I’ve done this work for a long time. And I have had my show for like, almost six years, and I’ve done a lot of things that that you would think would have caused that feeling. If that feeling was going to happen, it would have already happened. So to have it happen now, there was something else at play, right? There was, like more going into it. So I knew it wasn’t just like one thing. I knew it was like a variety of things. So it’s interesting because I, I just knew I couldn’t like physically couldn’t keep living like this. I did get some calm. Have you guys ever had that? It is like magnesium supplement. Years ago, I had taken the powder. And I didn’t like it. I didn’t like I wouldn’t take it because the powder seemed gross to me. But I got the gummies. So it’s kind of like candy. And I found that really was starting to help me. It helped me get to a place where then I could make better decisions about what I wanted to do, and how I wanted to be present and how I wanted to experience this thing that’s happening. You know, I have heard about other people having this moment now. Marie Forleo talks about it. But hers was like when she was going on Oprah. Like I’m not doing anything like Oprah. But hers was like having these like really big things were causing her to hit like an upper limit, right where she was getting sick and like having a really bad cold all the time and just not feeling good. And so I think that that’s very similar. This past week, I actually went and got hypnotized. And that helped me tremendously to be in the moment. But I wanted to share a couple other things and a few other realizations that I had. That might help you to to be in the moment.
Now. In all of this, I’ve been having a lot of fun, too. So I want to note that we can handle many different kinds of feelings at once. Right? We can both be anxious, and be really happy and excited for what’s to come. And we’ll want it like the things that were making me anxious were things that I wanted, right doing this big live event, we’re doing another live event in Sedona in November. And like getting the the Airbnb like making these choices. I know this might sound silly, if it gives me a little bit of gray speak, because there’s been a lot all at once. Right? So but doing those kinds of things. I was like, Am I making the right choice? Is this right? Should I do this, like those smaller what would have been smaller decisions in the past, we’re starting to feel bigger. So here’s one thing that I decided to do to help me be present. One is, every morning, I’m really grounding. Now if you’ve heard that before, like get grounded, stay grounded. You might kind of wonder what that is. You may have heard me talk about it before. But for me, it’s really just naming things. So I get present, I want to pull myself back down into my body. I think of this feeling that I’m having right now as being very outside my body like way up floaty, floaty. And so bringing myself back down into my body. So literally, like I would just feel my feet on the ground, right? Feel my hands usually do it like right when I sit up. So my hands are on the bed. And I’ll just start naming things like window, plant, alarm, clock, watch, pillow, blanket. And it brings me into the physical, right? We have different planes that we work within, we work within the physical plane, we work within the spiritual plane, there’s a mental plane. So these different planes, I want to pull myself into the physical plane. Because when I do that I’m in this moment. So I’m in this I can, I can notice that my physical body is right here. And right here. I am safe. Right here, I’m choosing to be here. And nothing bad is happening. And that practice of just grounding. I’m also trying to pull that in anytime I start to feel that like, extra like, oh, gosh, I hope I can do this thing. I’m trying to like, okay, all I have to do right now be here, be present, what would I have to do to be present right now that would make the difference? Right? What would make the difference in the future of what I could do right now? Because right now is the only moment we can really impact right. The other thing that I have been doing is limiting my social media. I found I wasn’t getting like comparison itis or anything like that. But I was starting to use it to opt out when I’d started. You feel that anxiety, I noticed I would just pick up my phone. Now this has been like a long standing thing for me where I grabbed my phone, like, if I got frustrated or tired on a project, I would just grab my phone, it was like kind of my opt out. And I’m trying to be present, like I’m trying to, if I choose, if I choose to do that, that’s one thing, if it’s just happening, that’s a different thing altogether. And so I went into my settings, and I, I changed my settings, so that I only get one hour of social media a day. So for me, that was Facebook, Instagram, and Tiktok. So one hour a day. Now, one hour a day may seem like a lot to you, I’m on there, I’m gonna say this, I’m on there for work. That’s my excuse i The work that I do on there is I post it’s, it doesn’t take it takes three minutes. So there’s, you know, 57 minutes there, that’s just me, like checking in on everything and seeing what my friends are doing and all of that kind of stuff, which is fine. Again, I want to say it’s about being intentional. It’s about being present in the moment and then choosing, I’m gonna go online and say happy birthday to whoever’s birthday it is, that’s different than I’m feeling overloaded in this project. And I have to opt out. So there are times where you might need to opt out, there are times where you might be like, I’m going to let myself opt out. That’s fine. For me in this season, I wanted to be present because I wanted to understand what was going on in the background that was causing this feeling,
right. So you’ve been listening to my podcast, and you’ve been hearing me talk about ways to master your subconscious. Maybe you’ve been really curious about how you can learn this too, and maybe even create a business of your own to help other people transform their lives as well. If you’d like to become board certified in six different certifications, we have it all for you inside the alchemy Institute, you can go at your own pace with our on demand training, or you can attend live events. Find out more over at our website, the alchemy institute.co. That’s the alchemy Institute, dot C. O, I’ll see you over there. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about what it is. But in this I decided I was going to limit my social media to one hour. Now, you may be thinking one hour is a lot. But I wonder if you actually measure it. Like if you have an iPhone, it will measure and tell you. It’s always shocking to me how much I’m on there. One hour a day equals 15 full days a year on social media 1524 hour loops. It’s a lot of hours. So if you could imagine if you’re on there two hours a day, it’s the entire month of your life is on social media every year. Now. I might be like you might you might be like well, but he has a social media problem. But I bet you there are times where I’ve been on several hours a day. I know I’ve been on Tik Tok for several hours, like just killing time or whatever. And again, it’s not bad if you’re choosing it. For me, I wanted to be aware because I didn’t feel like I was choosing it and I felt like it was leading and adding to my my not being present. This weekend we went to see Coldplay, I love Coldplay. I’ve seen them one other time, and their concerts are so good. And I’ve been to a lot of concerts in my life. I’m 50 So I’ve been to a lot of 51. So I’ve been to a lot of concerts. And really Coldplay is one of my most favorite. They’re so good and so energetic and they wanted to be there. You know, they really wanted to be there. Now I’m going to compare it to another concert that I went to this year and there is no shade to Justin Bieber because I love me, the Justin Bieber. But he didn’t really feel like he wanted to be there. I felt like he couldn’t wait for it to be over. You know. And I think poor Justin’s had some things in his life, but it felt so different. And so I’ve been really thinking about that. Like it felt so different with them and, and they were seemed excited about being there. Now. You know, they have been playing music for a long, long time and they are on a big tour where every other night basically they’re playing in some big huge arena. We were at the Mercedes Benz arena here in Atlanta. It’s huge, like huge, huge, huge, I don’t know, very many concerts that could fill up that big of a space usually when we go to come answered throughout the CNN Center, it’s a little bit smaller. And so I was like, Look, he’s choosing to be here. Lots of times we have things we have to do, right, we’re obligated to do. And we don’t think of it as a choice, because we have to do it. But Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay was like, I’m so excited to be here. Atlanta is one of my most favorite places, this feels like Christmas. Now, my husband pointed out that he was probably just saying all that, and that may be true. And he was putting in the effort to be present. At one point in the concert, it got kind of towards the end. And I noticed everybody around me was filming, I had, I had taken a couple little videos on Instagram before it started. But once it started, I put my phone away, I wanted to be really present, you know, I wanted to be in it. And there was a man in front of me, he was probably I say, a man.
I mean, he was probably like, maybe 21, or 22. He was with his parents and his younger brother. And I mean, this kid was like a super fan, he was so excited. Like every song, like you’d see him like, Wait, like, tense up for like, the three seconds where the song would start and then be revealed, and he would recognize it. And then both his hands would go over his head. And he was like, I mean, just, like so happy. His parents who looked older than me, honestly, they were both jumping up and down the whole time. They kept it was this father, the mother, that kid and then the younger brother, and the father and the kid kept reaching behind the mom, and like grabbing each other’s hands in the air, like every time a new song would start, like, Oh, my God, yes. And I thought they are so present, like so present in it, they’re going to remember this forever. Now, there was other people around me who were just videotaping the whole time. And you know, if that’s what makes you happy, and that’s what brings you joy, do that. But for me, I felt like I could, I felt the contrast. You know what I mean? It was like, it was like, I was witnessing it. And I was like, gosh, this is two very different ways to experience this one isn’t better than the other. But for me, one was better. And towards the end of the concert, they said, you know, we’re almost done, we’re almost done. And we have, we have played a lot of gigs, right, we’ve had a lot of shows, and we’ve had a lot of shows in Atlanta. But we’ve never had a show with you here. Like, you may have come to one of our shows together. But this combination of people being here, in this environment on this day, at this time, will never ever, ever happen again. And so for just one song, shut your phones off, shut your phones off and be present. And we’re gonna sing a song together. And then he’s saying, and like, the whole place, turned into that kid in front of me, though, please, became so present and jumping up and down and full of excitement, the life, the level of life went way up. I was like this, like, this is the kind of experience I want. This is the kind of experience I want to be part of the other way felt different. It wasn’t bad. But this, this is great. And so I wanted to share that story. Because I’m wondering if on a microcosm, we have those same experiences every day, you know, could we lift up the level? Could we raise the roof and make it a really intense, amazing experience? Because every day, it’s not the same combination. It only happens once this moment is it. And then that moment and that moment in that moment, but we never get to replay it or redo it. It’s always something new. It’s always something sacred, and something important. And I know that I don’t want to spend 15 full days a year. Like looking at my phone. I felt bad because I wasn’t posting on my stories, like I usually do. But I felt so good and present. And so I’m trying to be intentional. Now with the things that I share. am I sharing something that’s like just what I’m doing all day? Because who cares if I have a coffee? Well, sometimes I have really good looking coffee. You do care, feels fun to share it, but I want to share stuff that makes makes you feel alive to when I was sitting in the crowd before the concert started. The wave was going around cuz I don’t feel like I’d been at a concert with a wave when you know where people are. But maybe at a sporting event, but not like that, like everybody was participating in it, you could feel it, like the energy was different, you know, the energy shifted. And so I did record that, because I just thought it felt cool. And you could feel it through the video, like, wait for it, the wave came around, and then you could see it like the people to my left, and then all the way all the way over to my right. And it was like a cool, energetic force field to be in. And we can create this in our lives. You know, I’m believing this more and more that we don’t have to live our life of like, fine. Like, it’s just, it’s fine. Hi, how are you today? I’m fine. How are you? Like, I don’t, I don’t want that. I don’t want to be fine. I know that not every moment can be like the greatest moment of your life. Right?
I know that there’s got to be contrast. But when there’s good, am I dumbing it down? Like, am I am I making it into to fit more into the the like the parameters of mediocre, great, never feeling anything too great. Because if I don’t feel anything too great, I don’t feel anything too bad either. And if I dare to shift into the great unknown into awfulness, despair, pain, and I’ve had a lot of that over the last month too. And when I can dare to go into that into grief into overwhelm, when I can dare to go into that. It gives me access to the other side to, to the joy and to the happiness and to the AHA, to being excited about life and to being be being really, really fully present. So my thought for you this week is to be really deliberate, have a reset. See, what are the things that really make me feel present. And in the moment, I joined CrossFit, I don’t know if you guys follow me on Instagram, but I guess it was like three weeks ago, I joined CrossFit, I went back, it was really hard to go back that very first time, actually, the first time wasn’t as bad as the second time. The second time, it took me a week to go back. But I did and then I signed up because then once I knew I’d paid, I would really show up. And it’s it’s, I don’t even know how to explain it. It. I’m so present. It’s the only time I think that I’m not thinking about the future. I’m thinking about the moment, how can I be the most efficient in this moment? What’s happening in this moment, I’m not ruminating on anything. And I feel so lucky to have reconnected with that. And to be able to have that as something in my pocket that I can go and do. So that I can pull myself out back into being present every single day, or three days a week, whichever, whichever My body feels like it can take. And so think about what is something that you do, where you’re really present. Like maybe it’s like our maybe it’s I really like to color coloring brings me there too. Maybe it’s listening to Abraham Hicks. Maybe it’s these podcasts, you know, find what it is. And try and bring that into your day. Be deliberate, reset, and be really present. Because you deserve to live a life. That’s big, but that’s big with awe and awesomeness and feeling really connected. I want that for you. So thank you so much for listening. Please share this. If you liked this episode, and you think it would help someone else be present for food,
get them into alignment, please send it along. I love you so much. And I’ll see you all next week.
Bye bye. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media, I’m usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name. Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.
