315: If Your Story Doesn’t Empower You to Move Forward, Change It - Betsy Pake

315: If Your Story Doesn’t Empower You to Move Forward, Change It


The story that you assign something either propels you forward or holds you back because the meaning of anything is only what you give it. Betsy shares some thoughts about why she is behind right now and discusses how she has shifted her story to propel herself forward. She encourages you to do the same by giving yourself the grace to change your story to be the best you can be and to know that you are empowered to rest when you need it and do the work when you are able.

* Connect with Betsy on IG @betsypake


Welcome to the Art of Living big podcast. My name is Betsy pake. I’m an author, a speaker, and a trainer of NLP and hypnotherapy. And I’m focused on helping you understand and design your life with the power of the subconscious. This podcast is designed to help you think differently about what could be possible for your life. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everyone. Hi, welcome to the show today. So this is a, this is gonna be a weird little show.

I think this is gonna be a weird little show. Here’s the start, let me set it up for you. Alright, so I’m in my living room, I never recorded my living room, but my daughter is sleeping in my bedroom.

I’m gonna get to that in just a minute. I’m behind on my podcast. Do you remember back in January, I hired a Podcast Producer that I love. And she has been so flexible with me. So that I only need to get three episodes ahead, right. So she has time to do all the work that needs to be done. And I’m behind. So it’s really important that she gets it on time. So she can do what she has to do. And I’m like, really behind. I’m really behind. And I don’t like that. Because I want to be respectful of other people. And I’ve had so much to say that I kept thinking I need like all this time to tell you. So I think I mentioned this a couple of weeks ago, there are like some bigger things that I want to share and teach you that I’m going to try and record this week. But right now I need to get an episode to her before she wakes up and realizes that I haven’t put a new episode in the hopper for last week. Okay. So I was like, I’ve got a record, what am I going to record. And so I thought, I’m gonna record and tell you why I’m behind. Because I think we all have things in our lives that happen, ah, that make us feel like we’re really behind. And then we have a story about that thing. Right, I’m behind. And I want to be respectful. So that means I’m not being respectful. I want to be on time, which means I’m not taking and being a good steward of my business. Like there are a lot of things that I could say about it, like a lot of story. And I say story because the meaning of anything is only what you give it. That’s it. Like every little thing in your life, if you could think of some things right now that are bothering you, or holding you back. It’s just a story. Like you have a story about it. It’s something that you think about it, maybe something someone else told you about it. It’s the way that you think about the thing. And the way that you think about the thing either propels you forward or holds you back. And so I realized I haven’t been keeping up. And I want to tell you why. And I want to tell you what my story is. So if you’ve heard me talk before, on the show about how my daughter was sick. I mean, I’m I want to say this has probably been like 10 years, she’s had really bad anxiety and depression. She was on the show last summer. And we talked in depth about it. She was doing so great. And she went off to college, she went to SCAD. And then in an earlier episode this year back in maybe like June or July, I talked about how she had to leave scat In April, she had a episode and she was in the hospital. And the truth is, she’s been in the hospital off and on here over the past two weeks. So things really haven’t gotten that much better since April. Sometimes I feel like now like I’m, I’m just doing things just to keep her alive. And she doesn’t even want to be alive. And like, is it fair? You know, these are the questions I have. And I think that if I said that to her, she would say no, I do want to be here. It’s just hard. It’s just hard. And it’s hard for her and it’s hard for me and I can’t speak for her, although I have talked to her many times about talking about her illness on the show. And she is 1,000% okay with it. And the reason is because if it was something else, if it was cancer, or God forbid, or it was like anything else, we would talk about it. And there’s something about mental illness that makes us not want to talk about it, which is the reason that I want to say it because it’s not shameful or bad. It’s nothing that she’s done. It’s it’s just something that’s happening. And so the story for me isn’t that it’s shameful or bad. And so I don’t mind saying it and she’s given me promo I should because it is her life, right? But there’s a component of this, that it’s about me to, you know that, that it impacts my life because I love her impacts everybody that loves her. And and I think even more so as a mom, you know, when when our kids are suffering, like, we’re never, we’re never happy if our kids are suffering. But I wanted to share with you what my story is now, as she’s been really struggling. And the past couple of weeks as I’ve fallen behind on the podcast, I’m not telling myself that I might irresponsible business owner or that I don’t respect my podcast producers, because all of that wouldn’t be true.

Hey there, I was curious, did you know that I had online courses on my website, if you go to Betsy pake.com, you’ll see at the very top menu bar, there’s a link called courses. And when you go there, you’ll see I have a variety of courses, there’s a hypnosis library, where there’s a whole collection of hypnosis, from everything from spiritual hypnosis, to weight loss and everything in between. There’s also some classes on subconscious programming, and really getting to understand your unconscious better. One of my favorite courses that I’ve ever done is called the infinite soul project. And this is all about spirituality, and how that really connects in with your subconscious mind. And if you scroll all the way down to the bottom of the page, there’s some free courses there too. And when you log into that, you’ll be able to have access to my online community, that we’ve moved away from the Facebook group and into this new platform that I’m really excited about. And we hope to be doing some more free classes inside there as well. So jump in, find it over on my website, Betsy pake.com. And I’ll see you there. But the truth is, is that I’m juggling a lot of things really well. Like really well, in fact, way better, like mentally than I would have maybe even two years ago, my perspective on things is different. I’m so much more confident in who I am. And my daughter said the other day, you were kind of intense with the doctor. And I know she meant it kind of mean, she meant it, like embarrassed her maybe you know, but I was so glad. Because I am intense with the doctors because we’ve been struggling for a long time. And she needs help and someone to advocate for her. And so I am an intense mama. And I’m handling a lot of things really well. Now, why am I telling you all this? I’m telling you this because you’re probably handling a lot of things right now to a lot of things are probably hard. You know, the past couple years have been really difficult for everybody. I mean, I think that is probably a component of what my daughter is going through like life is, is a struggle right now. There’s a lot of change in the world. There’s a lot of I think there’s a lot of angry people in the world right now. You know, I all even include myself in that, like when I in the car and I can’t find a parking space. I’m more like agitated, you know, because life just feels like it’s hard right now. And I think we we downplay the effect that COVID has had on our lives and businesses that we love and the world around us. And so you’re dealing with really hard things too. And maybe the story needs to shift for you. Maybe the story isn’t that this is really hard. And I’m not doing that good. And I can’t do this, I can’t handle all this. Because if you’re here you are handling it, then you are doing it. And you’re doing a great job, because you’re doing the best you can. I think that when I look back on my life, and I think, you know, five years ago, gosh, I’m doing so much better with all of this than I was five years ago, like way better like it is the things that used to really, really

overwhelm me don’t like at all. And I was doing the best I could then like I did the best with what I knew at the time. And that’s all we can really do. We can hope and we can pray that we grow and that we learn more and that we’re able to handle more and that we’re able to deal with things in a way that’s really healthy. And in the end, we just do the very best we can. And so if you’re doing the very best you can even if that’s different from day to day, even if one day it’s that you just lay in bed and look at TIC TOCs and then the next day you get up, and you do the thing. You know, on Saturday, I had all these plans, I was going to catch up on a lot of things for work because all of us with their dad, and, and I thought I’m going to really catch up. And my husband went to the football game. And he asked me to go and I said, Yes. And then a couple hours later, I said, No, because I was like, I just need some time, you know, and I thought, I’m gonna sit on my bed, and I’m gonna watch a football game, and I’m gonna get caught up on all the things. And I didn’t, I sat on my bed, and I watched football, and I looked at TIC TOCs. And I looked at Instagram, and I wrote down some thoughts and ideas. And I laid around and I took a little nap. And that was like the very best I could do. And that was okay, I had plans to do work. And put it was okay, because I did what I needed, so that I could keep going. And so the story could continue to be that I’m doing my very best. And that was the best I could do on Saturday. Now on Sunday, I did a lot more. And this morning, I am motivated, doing all kinds of stuff. I’m also bringing her to three different doctor’s appointments just today. And I have plans for work in between, and I feel balanced and ready. But if I’d kept going, if I’d made myself do stuff on Saturday, it would have been, like half as good as I could do. And I would have been burnt out and worn out. And then today, I wouldn’t feel the same. So I offer you this thought. There’s a lot of life happening right now. And probably with you too, with all of us, right? I mean, with so much happening in the world besides just our lives. And maybe you’re just you can just do the best you can do on any given day in any given moment. And that’s enough. You know, if you got to cry one moment, do it, then the next moment can be different. So give yourself some grace. Change your story. So that your story is one that I am doing the best I can and I am empowered to rest when I need to, and to do the work when I need to. And I think when you can do those things. I think that’s how you live a really big life. Thanks so much for being here with me on this roller coaster journey that I love so much. True adventures we are. I love you so much. I’ll see you next week. Hey, thanks so much for listening to today’s show. And thank you for sharing the show with your friends. I love when you guys do that. I appreciate it so much. And thank you for leaving me a review on iTunes. I know that it matters because when I go to find a podcast, I always look to see what the reviews are. So it really means a lot to me that you take a minute to like figure out how to even make that happen. Now, if you want to find me find me on social media and usually on Instagram, starting out on Tik Tok. It’s just my name Betsy pake, and that’s my website to Betsy pake.com. And you can find out all about the work that I do. having me speak for an event that you might be hoping to plan or getting trained inside my alchemy Institute. But to make it really easy, if you want me just shoot me a DM shoot me a direct message on Instagram and I will be at your service. Thanks again for listening. And I will see you all next week.


Meet Betsy!

I'm Betsy Pake!

*Ocean obsessed

*Probably hanging out with my dogs


*Deep thinker

Hey There!

About Betsy

Hi I’m Betsy and I’m a subconscious change expert.
By day you can find me digging deep into the unconscious beliefs and identity of my clients so they can move past self-sabotage and lack of confidence and gain traction in their career and life.